Chapter Text
What would you do if I abstracted tomorrow?
Jax rushed into the venue’s restroom like a rabbit retreating into its burrow. He hurtled himself towards the row of white-ceramic sinks on the opposite side of the room, staggering as he met them. His gloved hand shot towards a tap and turned it. Cold water flooded the basin he now hunched over, the sound helping drown out Caine’s rambles and orchestra from down the hall. His heart unintentionally aided in this effort as it pounded like an endless drum solo within his head.
Thump-Bump. Thump-Bump. Thump-Bump. Thump-Bump.
He struggled to find air, his vision beginning to morph into a pulsating blur as he drew in one shallow breath after another in a chain of desperation.
What would you do if I abstracted tomorrow?
Those words again. Like a blistering headache, those words only grew more intense with each second that passed. He cursed them. He cursed her. Why did she feel she had to ask something so stupid? So invasive? So obvious? How did she think he would respond? She knew him. She knew his ways of coldly provoking people. She knew he’d spit out something cruel from between his lined teeth.
She knew he was awful—didn’t she?
I’d move on. And probably forget about you.
He tried to torch his mind of the moment, but it only helped to further fuel his increasingly erratic state. Despite the laws of this digital realm, Jax thought at any moment he would collapse from asphyxiation. He needed to breathe. He needed to calm. He needed to wrangle his emotions together, but he was on the precipice of unravelling. Then a stray thought mushroomed within his conscious:
Abstraction.
Was he going to… abstract? Was he? Is that what was happening? Oh no. Oh god. He was. He was going to abstract. He was going to abstract and there was nothing he could—
“J-Jax…?” A soft-spoken voice called from behind. It was one he recognised all too well.
***
Gangle was satisfied. She took her assigned seat next to Zooble – who she noticed to be armed with a bottle of stupid sauce – and almost relaxed. It had been a while since she found an adventure to be as fulfilling as the prior free-for-all, as absurd as that may sound for someone like her. Of course, she got her wish to shoot a tommy gun, but more importantly she found her connection with Zooble strengthened. Their talk had really made an impact on her and she was grateful.
So as the Favourite Character Awards ceremony began, an idea popped into her head. Maybe she should show how grateful she was and fix up something special for them. Her mind sifted through all the possible gifts she could make before settling on one – a drawing of them. They’d like that, wouldn’t they? Zooble had complimented her art before after all.
Gangle stood from her chair, catching Zooble’s attention.
“Hey, you okay?” They asked, a drop of concern in their tone.
Gangle nodded, a sheepish smile forming on her porcelain mask. “Y-Yeah! I just have something I w-want to do. Don’t worry, I’m okay. R-Really.”
Zooble’s eyes slitted and she looked to closely examine Gangle’s demeanour. She found no more anxiety and uncertainty than she usually found, but that didn’t help quell her worry. Yet she chose to not press further. If Gangle said she was okay, she was okay. She knew Gangle could handle herself just fine.
“Alright then. Be safe.” Zooble said with reluctant support.
“I will.” Gangle replied, shuffling past them.
Caine had just begun the process of handing out the subcategory awards when Gangle made her exit. She left the auditorium and travelled down the few halls the venue held, aiming for a restroom as she carried in her hand a sketchbook and pencil. If she wanted to draw, she needed a secure and confined space to do so: like a stall. Her search led her to a brown-oak door, a pictogram of a Gloink sat upon a toilet seat plastered outside. She entered.
And then she saw him – Jax.
Her tragedy mask almost leapt from her face at the sight of the purple rabbit. He stood across from her, back turned and facing a mirror. Seeing him, unease wove itself into the velvet of her ribbons. Thankfully, he hadn’t noticed her yet. It seemed whatever he was doing, he was entirely absorbed in. She realised that, if she ran now, Jax probably would have never realised she was there in the first place. It was a lucky break for once.
But as she began to slip out of the doorway, she hesitated.
Something was off. Jax was panting aggressively and looked to be trembling, his knees knocking together. It was almost as if he was hyperventilating—no, he was hyperventilating. Gangle was familiar with the signs, but still she found it hard to believe. Was he just playing a prank on her? Was this just another joke?
But she couldn’t just ignore what was in front of her. Despite her instincts screaming at her to take this opportunity to escape, she chose against it. Instead, she spoke up.
“J-Jax…?”
She winced as the words left her, having already self-consciously resigned herself to the verbal onslaught she thought to come.
“G-G-Gangle…?” Jax faltered out, turning to meet Gangle’s gaze with wide eyes.
His voice spoke of exhaustion and nerves, taking her aback. It was a contrasting shift from his usual dry manner of speaking and she could tell it was sincere.
“I-I—I need help—c-can’t breathe—can’t think s-straight…”
She approached, her mask displaying a look of pure concern, and took him gently by the shoulders, “Jax, you’re okay. I’m here.” She assured, “Just… look at me. Follow my lead.”
Jax, in his agitated state, managed to do as she asked. “Breathe in…” She drew in a breath, and Jax followed along to the best of his ability. After a few failed attempts, he was successful in drawing one in, however he wasn’t sure how long he could hold it in.
Gangle continued, “…And breathe out slowly…”
He found this much easier to do. With a steady exhale, he found his breathing was beginning to settle. No longer did it feel as if air was being denied from his lungs, and after Gangle had him repeat the exercise a few more times, his breathing had significantly recovered. The world was no longer unfocused and his heart had returned its placid rhythm once more. He felt… better.
Jax returned his attention to Gangle. Gangle. He hadn’t registered it in the moment, but now with a clearer headspace, he realised how ironic it was that she of all people had been the one who guided him through his panic attack. A slight hint of embarrassment struck him.
What was he supposed to do now – thank her? It felt wrong, out of character if he were to do so. He hardly ever apologised, much less sincerely. Despite her intervention saving him from a possible abstraction, for which he was grateful, he couldn’t just switch up his act. He needed to commit. He needed to—
I’d move on. And probably forget about you.
A wave of realisation washed over him as the memory of that moment rang out again. No. He couldn’t repeat the same mistake as last time. He discarded the smug remark he had prepared and looked Gangle in the eyes. She looked nervous, and in her mind, she questioned why she had helped Jax in the first place given she had no real incentive to do so.
“Hey, Gangle…”
He began, derailing her train of thought,
“…Wanna talk?”