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The Bitchin’ ’Bachi Birthday

Summary:

"'So you’re jealous? You want my naked body all to yourself? It’s all yours, baby.' When Donghyuck wobbled to a standing position, grabbing onto Mark’s hip for balance, Mark started cooking up a strategy to get them out of there without a PR disaster. 'What? I’m going to be the only one?'

'Hyuck, I—'

'Mark, God wants you to be shirtless with me in this hibachi grill bathroom. C’mon…'"

(aka, dream tries to celebrate jisung's birthday at the hibachi grill, but donghyuck is in a mood)

Notes:

Happy Birthday to L. You deserve the best birthday dinner imaginable.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

While the winter streets of Seoul were packed with sounds, NCT Dream’s van ride was the quietest it had ever been. The preparations for the finale of their tour had long extended into the evening, with nerves getting increasingly short every time someone made a mistake. To make matters worse, it was Jisung’s birthday, and they were already heading to the place they’d be celebrating, so nobody got to rest until after dinner.

“Mal, did you make a reservation?”

“Jisung picked out the restaurant.”

Donghyuck turned around in his seat. “So you didn’t?” When Mark shrugged, he sighed pointedly loud.

Renjun rolled his eyes. “Call the restaurant and check, or call Jisung. Why are you asking Mark?”

“He’s always talking about how we need to plan better. How come he’s only the leader when we’re in the practice room and I need to put my shirt back on?”

Nobody but Donghyuck wanted an argument. They were hot off getting chewed out by the CEO, they’d soon have an entire tour to get through, and really, it was Jisung’s day. Renjun tried to shut it down, but Donghyuck just kept yelling over him.

“God will forgive you if you stare at my body a little, Mark! You’ve done a lot worse!”

Mark didn’t say anything, but Renjun made sure to respond in his place. “You’re just mad because he stopped letting you vape in the practice room!”

“I paid the damn fee and I’ll pay it again!”

“Guys—” Mark attempted.

“Nobody blinks an eye when Jeno does it, but when I do?”

“Haechan…” Jeno’s voice was weary and flat.

Since there were few others qualified to put him in his place, Renjun yanked Donghyuck by his hair and tore him a new one. Mark tried to convince him to let go to no avail; the brat had brought Jeno into the situation, and Renjun was nothing if not noble. Shaking Donghyuck at least got him to change his obnoxious complaints to rapid-fire apologies.

Jeno plastered himself to the side of the car. Looking at the window to distract himself, he saw the sign.

“Everyone, we’re here.”

Renjun still took a second to let go, Donghyuck’s hair defying gravity even after he fell back into his seat. They returned to a tense silence as Donghyuck patted down his hair and Renjun straightened his sleeves.

“Are we ready?” Mark asked with his hand on the door. Everyone muttered back a ‘yes,’ and as Donghyuck waited for everyone else to file out of the van, he rifled through his pocket only for Renjun to poke his finger at his chest.

“Don’t.”

Sprawling before them was the Hibachi King restaurant, a venue boasting farm-fresh ingredients and world-class chefs. An onion head mascot wielded his metal spatula with delight and whimsy next to the title, his tall white hat patterned like the Japanese flag. Apparently, this chain was everywhere in Jisung’s native province.

The second van had arrived just after them, with Jisung, Jaemin, and Chenle stepping out. Chenle’s hand was firmly around Jaemin’s shoulder as they joined the group. Even though he was blinking his eyes to wake up, he noticed the flying hairs on Donghyuck’s head and tried to flatten them out as they all headed in.

“Party of seven?”

Jeno was at the front of the group, and the others seemed distracted, so he took on the responsibility of answering. “Yes.”

“Do you have a reservation?”

“Probably not.”

“That’s alright. Right this way.”

They walked in single file to a large table in the back and were immediately greeted by another worker.

“And what would you like to drink?”

The waiter was a short girl with a thick accent, her chipper customer service voice a complete contrast to the quietness of the group. She started with Donghyuck, of course.

“Whatever your drink special is.” He earned at least one side-eye with that.

Jisung’s neck craned over the drink menu. “Can I have… uh… a mule?”

“Woah, Jisung. You can drink now?” Jaemin ribbed. It was the fifth year in a row of making that joke, but that only made it more of a classic in his eyes. Chenle laughed at least. The rest put their drinks in. Mark thanked her, but as soon as his smile waned, the whole group was back to an uneasy stillness.

“Happy birthday, Jisung,” Chenle awkwardly announced. Everyone else followed him, muttering out a ‘Happy Birthday.’

“Thanks everyone.”

After nearly a minute of disturbing silence following the congratulatory message, Mark piped up. “So, Jisung, are you into anything new these days?”

“No.” Jisung rubbed his neck after he answered as if he was still thinking about the question.

“Just video games, then?”

“Our Jisung-ie is so good at gaming,” Chenle leaned over the entirety of Renjun to pinch Jisung’s cheek.

“Stop, stop,” Jisung begged, but he barely made a move to pull Chenle’s hand off.

The drinks arrived as soon as he stopped. Still feeling around for a topic, Jaemin started speaking. “Weren’t you going to try working out more this year? Why don’t you join me and Jeno, get our blood pumping?”

“I don’t uh…” Jisung stirred his drink and took a sip. “…think I want to.”

“Why not? Jeno and I can go slow.”

Renjun quirked his eyebrow at Jaemin, but the signal was missed.

Jisung took a much longer second sip. “I’m good.”

“Mark would probably like going slow with you two,” Donghyuck added with a hearty laugh.

“We could do it with Mark, right?” Jaemin asked Jeno.

Jeno and Mark answered at the same time. “No.” Jaemin looked confused while Donghyuck beamed.

“Shut up, pervert,” Renjun said to Donghyuck under his breath.

The retort was just as quiet. “You’re just bitching because you want to watch.”

“Well, you’re just mad ‘cause nobody’s fucking you at all.”

“Good evening, everyone! My name is Akio and I’ll be your server for today.” The hibachi chef was suddenly before them, spreading out a bunch of food items on the edge of the grill and drumming his spatulas on the metal.

As he did his introduction, each clang sounded like a gunshot inside the echoing room. He flipped a fork into his hand and shouted intermittently, after which he sloshed a swirl of oil onto the grill and set it on fire, scaring the closest person to it, Jisung.

“Ey, ey, ey! Is tonight a regular dinner or is there a special event going on today?”

Everybody looked around at each other beyond the giant flame until Mark spoke up, pointing at Jisung. “It’s his birthday.”

“It’s your birthday! How old are you turning?”

“Huh?”

Jisung couldn’t hear the question, so Jeno had to repeat it for him. “How old are you turning?”

“Oh, twenty-five.”

“Twenty-five, any plans for Valentine’s Day?

“Uh…”

“Of course not, you’re out celebrating your birthday with six men!”

A couple of the members laughed, although the only one who wasn’t forcing it was Chenle.

The theatrics continued with eggs, his tossing skills on full display. While Jisung was predictably entranced by his sense of balance and ability to misdirect, he didn’t like it when they left the safety of his hand and started flying through the air. Since it was his special day, the chef decided to make it extra memorable and throw one for him to catch. It hit the floor with a splat.

“I’m sorry,” Jisung ducked his head and tried to find a napkin.

“It’s okay, really, no problem,” the chef insisted. Jaemin flagged down their waiter, knowing that Jisung wouldn’t feel okay until it was cleaned up. Although he was initially apologetic, he continued to test the group with egg tossing, resulting in another two casualties.

After preparing the first round of food, Renjun pulled out his phone and started scrolling to keep his eyes awake, which Donghyuck immediately got onto him about. The two snipped at each other until the chef distracted them by pretending to light his shirt on fire.

As the chef created increasingly tall structures out of onions, the group was fighting off a combination of sleep and hunger; the early section of the program only made their appetites fiercer. When he announced that the mandu was ready, Renjun was the first to ask for it, but fell over in his chair trying to catch it on his plate. Jeno caught his dumpling perfectly in his mouth, for which Mark pet him.

Half the group had their chins leaning on their arms, watching him push around a mountain of grilled vegetables and recite his lines. To each question, the members would look around at each other before one of them would plainly answer, resulting in a punchline they barely had the energy to laugh at. As the hibachi chef dished out the fried rice, Donghyuck announced, “I’m going to the bathroom,” and left.

After an intense eye-contact conversation between Renjun and Jeno, Jeno bumped Mark on the shoulder. “Hyung, can you get me a couple of paper towels from the bathroom?”

“Sure.” Mark clearly seemed oblivious as he got up. Renjun clasped his hands together and thanked Jeno profusely as soon as Mark was out of range.

The stack of paper towels was ready in Mark’s hand when he looked at the closed stall. With one last look at the bathroom door, he walked up to the stall and knocked on it.

“Haechan?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you actually have to use the bathroom?”

There was an anguished sigh before the lock clicked open. Donghyuck was sitting on top of the toilet with his vape in hand. “The battery’s dead.” When Mark just stood there, Donghyuck put it away. “I miss my real cigarettes. I’ll have to switch back.”

Mark didn’t need to be told to save his smoking PSA. If the fire alarm had gone off in the bathroom, it would at least have exempted them all from having to finish the meal. “Are you actually upset with me or just fake upset?”

“When have I ever been fake upset?” Mark was struggling to come up with a sensitive answer, but luckily, Donghyuck moved on without his input. “Do you actually not want to see me shirtless anymore?”

Mark burst into a flush and closed the door behind him so that they were in there alone. In between Donghyuck’s spread legs fit Mark’s, the space cramped enough to nearly have them touch. “Uh, no, that’s not… it’s, with practice it’s like, there’s the choreographer and all the other people…”

“The other members?” Donghyuck’s hand barely had to move to reach the side of Mark’s leg. “So you’re jealous? You want my naked body all to yourself?”

Donghyuck laced his fingers into the bottom hem of his shirt and pulled it off. When he let it hit the bathroom floor without the bat of an eye, it occurred to Mark that he had been drinking.

“It’s all yours, baby.” When Donghyuck wobbled to a standing position, grabbing onto Mark’s hip for balance, Mark started cooking up a strategy to get them out of there without a PR disaster. “What? I’m going to be the only one?”

“Hyuck, I—“

“Mark, God wants you to be shirtless with me in this hibachi grill bathroom. C’mon…”

Donghyuck grabbed at Mark’s shirt with rubber bones as Mark easily fended him off. While Mark could’ve done that all night, Donghyuck’s persistence was the bigger threat than his strength. Mark had to be strategic.

“Okay, okay.” Mark put his hands up, so Donghyuck gave him some space. He pulled up his shirt and deposited it on top of the toilet paper dispenser, huffing as the cold air wracked his spine. “There. We’re both shirtless now.”

Perhaps they had jumped universes and were now in some odd college hazing ritual. Being on a team with Donghyuck often made him feel like he was being tested, so it was as peculiar as it was normal.

The surprising part of it was that Mark found himself quite exhilarated. God, when was the last time they snuck out of something, just the two of them? And Donghyuck’s skin looked so soft underneath the cold, low light of the bathroom. Two arms hooked around the back of Mark’s neck, and he didn’t think to remove them.

Sober or not, Donghyuck was a sloppy kisser, but Mark liked it that way, so he let Donghyuck lead. Running hot, Mark smoothed his hands over Donghyuck’s cool back, squeezing the thicker parts of his hips. All day, Donghyuck had been flaunting them, shaking his hips as much to joke as he did to flirt with the mirror. Even just doing that, Mark could feel himself getting hard.

“Mel, you’re such an exhibitionist,” Donghyuck said, followed by some giggles. “We’re gonna keep them waiting?”

Did Mark drink anything? He didn’t, but he sort of felt a tickle in his throat and a distinct lack of judgment. It wasn’t exactly a good time to go back. It’s not as if his shirt went down far enough to cover himself, all the worse since Donghyuck was teasing his teeth on his upper lip. Meekly, as if assuming the voice of one more confident than he, he grunted out an answer. “Yeah, they can wait.”

Donghyuck’s hand went right to Mark’s crotch, gauging his reaction to a bit of nudity and kissing. It was a fact as reliable as the rise and fall of the sun: Mark got hard easily. “This would be a problem if it happened at rehearsal.”

Mark gasped as Donghyuck pulled down his pants and underwear, immediately spitting on him and stroking the full length.

“Imagine if you just had to keep practicing, pretending I wasn’t getting you hard.”

Mark’s hands moved up to Donghyuck’s shoulders as Donghyuck sat back down.

“Then again, you do it every day. Somehow.”

Full lips hugged the entirety of Mark’s dick, Donghyuck obviously proud of his ability to swallow Mark down with no preamble. He pulled out halfway before sinking down again and humming for Mark. Eyes closed, he was fully focused.

For Mark, this had become a part of his life. The intermissions between them being at odds and them fucking got smaller every day, and as tumultuous as their early career had been, Donghyuck always managed to keep his life as exciting and terrifying as it had been back then. This was especially true since Donghyuck knew everything about him, so if he wanted Mark to get off quickly, he would get it done.

“Keep going,” Mark grunted, his hands kneading Donghyuck’s shoulders in anticipation. Donghyuck pulled off to catch his breath, but even those vocalizations made Mark clench his hips.

“You’re fucking crazy,” Donghyuck laughed before sucking Mark down again, the wet noises echoing in the small space and nearly breaking the sound barrier. His soft tongue padded the underside of Mark’s dick and swirled around the tip of it until Mark was begging for him to pull off.

“But Hyuck, it’s gonna—“

Donghyuck refused, his nose burying into Mark’s navel as semen ran down his throat. He stayed there, waiting and swallowing multiple times until his tight throat pulled out all of Mark’s orgasm. When Donghyuck started pulling out, he had to let it sit on his tongue for a moment just to make sure.

“Oh my god,” Donghyuck gasped as soon as he laid back. “Ugh, you come so much.”

Mark didn’t know whether to apologize or take it as a compliment; it felt like bragging either way. From this angle, it was clear that Donghyuck was hard too, having popped his jeans sometime ago.

Orgasm-dizzy and obligated, Mark tried his best to crouch on his knees only for Donghyuck to push him back. “God, don’t do that.”

“Then what should I do?”

“I’ll just like… I’ll just jerk off or something.”

“Well… but…” The issue was two-fold: he wanted to be useful, and Donghyuck being left sexually pent-up is what got them into this situation to begin with. “Let me do it.”

Donghyuck grunted but ultimately complied. Feeling kind of stupid sitting on a toilet, he and Mark ended up shimmying around each other to change positions: Donghyuck against the door and Mark standing over the toilet.

“I never liked fucking in these things.” Mark sighed as he wiped himself down with the toilet paper.

“At least the Inkigayo one’s roomier.”

“True.”

Their careers were plenty successful; either one of them could buy an entire place strictly for the purpose of them meeting up to hook up, but still, they settled on fucking in some of the most degrading places in the world.

One hand felt up the side of Donghyuck’s torso as the other touched the inside of his thigh. He was freshly shaved, of course, and the scent of his lotion lingered on every part of his bare skin. Mark laid his cheek on Donghyuck’s chest and breathed it all in as he started pumping Donghyuck’s dick.

It wasn’t as if Donghyuck was the only one trained on what turned the other on. Not every aspect of Donghyuck was as difficult to discern as his temperament.

“Turn around and spread your legs.”

“Yessir,” Donghyuck chuckled, shutting up as soon as Mark pulled the entirety of his bottoms down.

Mark fit himself against Donghyuck’s back, making sure that his dick was flush with Donghyuck’s bare ass.

As he stroked Donghyuck, he rocked his hips against him, feeling his ribcage flutter every time it caught the rim. This flower-scented, soft, tan person could be so obedient and pliant when he wanted to be, when he knew that Mark was ready to fuck him. Especially if it was neither the time nor the place and he had guilt going for him, then Donghyuck really did a phenomenal job getting nice and wet.

Mark had to make sure his hand really got over the top to catch all of the precum, pressing Donghyuck’s chest against the plastic door and pulling his hips back. He’d really put on an act earlier, pretending that he didn’t need Mark to get off, pretending that he didn’t piss everyone off because he was horny, and pretending that he didn’t need sex to cheer him up. Knowing everything, Mark just rocked into him harder, wanting to see him come.

“Mark, I’m close.”

Mark grabbed a ribbon of toilet paper, balled it up, and passed it to Donghyuck. With everything ready, Mark pulled Donghyuck back so that his cheek was up against the door, arms struggling to keep him upright. Getting bent was just what Donghyuck needed.

Donghyuck came into his hand, moaning loudly and gripping the door handle to not collapse entirely as he shook. With Mark’s help, he maneuvered back to sitting in the stall, wiping the sweat from his forehead as Mark caught his breath. Laughing at the sight—Mark’s disheveled, semi-hard again, naked ass in the bathroom—Donghyuck pulled up his pants and tossed Mark his shirt.

“We could’ve just gone to your place after dinner.” Mark pulled his shirt over and zipped up his pants.

“Eh, whatever.” Donghyuck gave him a pat on the arm and unlocked the stall.

The mood at the table had somehow gotten shittier since they’d left. Jeno, Chenle, and Renjun were on their phones while Jisung and Jaemin talked quietly to each other. The chef was long gone, and the stove was off.

“You two are back.” Jaemin spoke as he chewed. He was, in fact, the only one still picking at his food.

Donghyuck was grinning as he found his seat. “You saved some dinner for us? Oh, you shouldn’t have?”

“It’s probably cold,” Chenle remarked. Mark tried a smidgen of the rice. It was.

“I’m starving, so I don’t really care.” Donghyuck started mauling the mismatched plate of food, all similarly underseasoned and oniony.

Jeno looked all around, seeing if anyone was going to ask before he did. “Is everything… okay?”

Donghyuck laughed, leaning over the table to look at Mark. “Yeah, I feel awesome.”

Renjun put down his phone with a resounding bang and immediately looked to Mark. “What the fuck? That’s not what you were sent in to do.”

“What?” Mark’s shock was legitimate. “Oh shit, I forgot your paper towels, Jeno.”

Renjun turned to Donghyuck just as a drum sound started getting closer. “If I found out that you hit your—”

The conversation was interrupted by a loud bang, their chef having returned with a giant drum on his stomach and party glasses on his face. As soon as everyone turned to him, he started singing Happy Birthday, joined by all of the workers and patrons of the restaurant. Jisung hid his face promptly, with Jaemin shaking his shoulders in excitement as the chorus hit. Their waiter rushed in from the back with a fat slice of chocolate cake and adorned him in a rainbow lei.

“Happy birthday to you~”

“Make a wish!”

Jisung hesitated, visibly deciding on a wish before he blew on the candle. It took two times to extinguish it, with the staff cheering as soon as it went out. With a finishing drum solo from their chef, Jisung’s face was beet red, tucked between his shoulders as Chenle stole his birthday lei. Too embarrassed to even touch his cake, Jaemin swiped a thumbful of it and smeared it on his nose.

“Hyung…” Jisung had tears in his eyes from how hard he was cringing.

“I’ll get it off for you, Jisung-ie.” Donghyuck puckered his lips and was held away. “Yah! Is this how you treat your hyung?”

When Donghyuck tried to force his way in for another kiss, his elbow chopped into the cake, causing every single member to freeze in awe.

In the parking lot, Jeno turned to Jaemin. “It’s surprising that Jisung picked this restaurant for his birthday.”

“Huh? Jisung didn’t pick this place. Why would he pick to eat at a hibachi grill?”

“Then who did?”

“I thought it was Chenle.”

Chenle piped up. “Wasn’t me. I thought it was Mark.”

“I didn’t, Jaemin did. Did you not?”

Jeno looked back at Jaemin, whose mouth was agape. “I guess I did.” He smiled at Jeno and threw an arm around him. “My bad!”

Notes:

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