Archive of Our Own

May

When Haruka opens up his shoe locker, his indoor shoes are missing. He heaves a weary sigh as he shuts the door closed. He’ll get in trouble again for walking inside with his outdoor shoes on, but he doesn’t really have much of a choice. He finds his indoor shoes in the trash bin at the end of the hall where his classroom is. He pulls them out and brushes the dirt and dust that still clings to them off. 

He hears snickers and murmurs from behind him. Probably the perpetrators, gloating over throwing the weird looking kid’s shoes in the trash where they belong. Haruka tunes them out as he removes his outdoor shoes and puts on his indoor shoes. It’s a little gross, but it’s better them washing them with soap. He didn’t have enough time to dry them out properly last time and the feeling of water against his socked feet was too much of a discomfort for him to risk going through again.

He passes by the group of kids without sparing them a glance. If he gives any kind of reaction, he loses. One of them stretches their foot out, but Haruka’s instincts have already been honed over time. He doesn’t trip and is able to quickly side step the kid. He hears the kid scoff before he says something that almost makes Haruka pause. 

“What a freak. I bet his Mom looks as ugly as him. That’s why she isn’t around anymore. Saw how ugly her kid looked and just offed herself right then and there.”

Haruka wants to turn around. Wants to scream and punch and bite. But he doesn’t. He keeps walking, because if he reacts, he loses. He always loses.

Once he makes it to his classroom, he immediately noticesthe marks on his desk. “Freak”, “ugly”, and “weirdo” are all scribbled on the surface. They used a marker this time, Haruka realizes bitterly. That will make it harder to scrub the writing off. Without a word, Haruka leaves the room to grab cleaning supplies from the janitor’s supply closet. He’s used to this song and dance by now. It’s practically routine by this point.

He quickly wipes the words off his desk, head hung low and tuning out the harsh whispers of his classmates. If he reacts, he loses.

When he finishes cleaning his desk, a kid passes by and very deliberately sticks his chewed up gum atop Haruka’s desk. He grins menacingly at Haruka, like he’d just done something completely ground breaking. Thankfully, Haruka hadn’t thrown the rag he’d been using yet. He picks the gum up with the rag and leaves to throw it without giving the boy any kind of reaction (because that’s exactly what the boy wants, and that’s the last thing Haruka wants).

“Ew, gross! Did you see that?”

“He just picked it up!”

“Why are you all acting so surprised? Trash belongs with trash.”

Haruka tunes everything out. He sits on his chair and waits for the teacher to arrive, trying to make himself as small as possible. He doesn’t reply, doesn’t fight back, because he knows. If he reacts, he loses.

There are no shoe lockers in Furin High. Haruka should have figured as much given how lax the school is with dress codes, but it’s a relief nonetheless. If any of his new classmates get any bright ideas about throwing his shoes in the trash, they’re going to have to bodily pull them off his feet, and Haruka has no intentions of making that easy for them.

Haruka’s never felt safe in schools. He’s always felt like he has to have his guard up. One slip up, and he’d end up drenched in water or face first on the hard floor. The classroom quickly became the place he hated most. It didn’t matter what school he attended, it was always the same. 

Or so he thought. 

But over time, Haruka quickly realizes that he does not need to keep his guard up in Furin High. Nobody ever tries to take his shoes, and other than Sugishita, nobody ever tries to pick fights with him. Despite the school being riddled with graffiti, Haruka’s desk is the neatest it’s been since, well, ever. He never finds writings on the surface or garbage stuffed inside.

He can leave his belongings anywhere and not have to worry about finding them in the trash or thrown out the window when he gets back. He can use the bathroom and not worry about being ambushed the moment he steps out. He can fall asleep at his desk and not worry about waking up to his classmates pulling his hair or trying to poke his eyes out.

The first time he falls asleep at his desk, he wakes to gentle fingers stroking his hair and hushed whispers. Haruka wakes with a start, eyes wide because how could he let his guard down like that? He’s never allowed himself to nap in his classroom, even if he was just running on an hour of sleep. 

“Sakura-san, are you okay?” Nirei asks, retracting his hand. Oh, he was the one patting his head. Suo is sitting on Haruka’s other side, eyeing him critically. No, he isn’t looking at him critically, it’s…It’s worry. He’s worried for him.

“Sorry, did we wake you?” Suo asks. 

“Oh, is Sakura-chan awake?” Kiryu comes up to join them, phone still in hand. “Were Suo-chan and Nirei-chan being too noisy?”

“I’m so sorry, Sakura-san! I didn’t mean to disturb your sleep!”

“What’re you apologizing for? It’s fine. You guys just woke me up from a nap, is all. No big deal.”

“There’s still time before free period ends,” Suo says, “you can sleep a little longer if you’d like. Nire-kun and I will wake you up before the teacher gets here.”

And then, belatedly, it finally hits him. His friends had been looking out for him. They were talking in hushed whispers not because they were gossiping, but because they were being considerate of him. Nirei was patting his head to soothe him, not because he was observing the strange mismatched colors.

He fell asleep because he felt safe. For the first time in his life, he felt safe inside his own classroom.

Haruka finally nods, deciding to take Suo up on his offer as he lays his head across his arms and lets sleep take him.

Haruka falls asleep more times after that. Sometimes he wakes up to a jacket draped across his back. Sometimes he’ll wake up to find treats at his desk. Lollipops from Kaji, gummies from Nirei, candies from Kiryu, and at one point, a whole tomato from Umemiya. Sometimes, he’ll find that one of his friends has changed his lock screen to a different photo they’d taken together (this annoyed him at first, but he’s now come to like the photos his friends pick out).

But most of the time, he’ll wake up to the feel of his friends’ hands gently threading his hair. 

Nirei’s hands are soft, but grow calloused over time after he starts training under Suo’s tutelage. Suo and Umemiya’s hands are always firm, but gentle. Kiryu’s and Tsubakino’s are soft and smell of fragrant hand cream. Hiragi and Kaji’s hands are strong and careful. Tsugeura’s hands are rough and hard.

He never wakes up alone. There is always someone sitting next to him at his desk when he wakes up.

Again, Haruka wakes to fingers gently threading through his hair and hushed whispers. It is Suo’s fingers this time, the smell of green tea lingering at the tips of his fingers. 

“He sleeps so peacefully now,” Kiryu all but coos. “Like a stray kitten that’s starting to get used to its new home.”

“Kiryu-san, shhh! What if he hears you?!”

Suo lets out a soft chuckle. “I must agree with Kiryu-kun’s assessment.”

“Really?” Tsugeura asks, sounding skeptical. “He seems more like a tiger to me.”

“When he’s in battle mode, maybe,” Kiryu replies, “but outside of battle? One hundred percent cat-coded.”

Haruka wants to make a retort, but finds that he’s too tired to. He’s still sleepy, and he trusts that his friends will wake him before the teacher comes back. So he allows himself to drift back to sleep, surrounded by the people he’s come to care for most.

Haruka’s classroom used to be his least favorite place. 

Now, it is his favorite place.

June 

Haruka hates studying. When he has problems understanding something, instead of helping him, his teachers scoff at him and tell him that he should try harder. His guardians lament at his stupidity and tell him to just give up. He’d never get a proper job with that appearance of his, anyway.

But when he comes home with failing grades, he gets berated for smearing the family’s reputation. Why must you be so stupid? Do you not listen to what your teachers tell you? Stupid, useless child!

He struggles and struggles and nobody ever offers a helping hand. Not his teachers, not his guardians, and certainly not his classmates, who make studying even more difficult than it already is with their never ending streams of insults and jeers.

But he hated studying the most whenever he was forced to stay behind after school to take extra lessons. Haruka had thought that with less students — less people to bully and distract him — it would make it easier for him to keep up. As per usual, he was proven wrong.

With less students to pull their attention, the teachers are able to zero in more on Haruka. But instead of using that focus to better help him approve, they would insult him more. Belittle him. Make his schoolwork even harder to deal with. And with his teachers’ disapproving gazes constantly piercing through his skin, pinning him in place like some insect put on display, the extra classes only served to make his grades worse instead of better.

And as he’d trudge home from yet another unsuccessful day, where knowledge seemed to keep slipping through his fingers like sand, he’d come home to even more disapproving gazes as he was sent to his room without dinner because stupid children didn’t deserve a warm meal after a long day of learning nothing.

He did stay with one family that tried to correct his academic failures once. But their attempts only served to make him hate studying even more. Every time he made a mistake, he’d get a slap on the wrist. Every time he came home with a failing grade, he’d be denied food. Every time they’d ask him to explain how he got his answer, they would slap his cheek so hard he’d see stars because how dare he give such an insipid explanation. How dare this stupid, useless child waste their resources and bring shame to their family name with his horrendously low grades?

Eventually, Haruka stops caring. He stops paying attention to lectures. Stops taking notes. Skips classes. It doesn’t matter, in the end. Haruka and school work will just never see eye to eye.

When Suo and Kiryu offer to help Haruka with his homework, he should be happy. They’re the smartest students in his class, and despite all the teasing (especially on Suo’s part), he knows that they’ve only ever had his best interests in mind.

But it’s hot and he can feel their gazes fixed on him and all his wrong answers. He’s stupid, he knows. It’s been drilled into his head since he learned how to write (he can still barely write kanji even though he’s already fifteen). They’re looking at him and judging him and the incoming summer heat keeps creeping up his skin.

“Sakura-kun,” Suo says, snapping Haruka out of his self-depreciating spiral. “You made a mistake here.”

“I’m sorry,” it comes out automatically. A reflex. Without meaning to, he clenches his eyes shut, expecting a slap to the wrist.

“Sakura-kun,” Suo says, patient and gentle, “it’s okay. Can you tell me what part you’re having trouble understanding?”

Haruka hesitates. Suo would never hurt him. He’s not like his previous guardians, he wouldn’t hit him for saying the wrong thing. He looks up, and Suo looks back, expression soft and kind. Haruka takes a breath.

“Everything. I can’t understand a single thing.”

And Haruka should know that Suo would not insult him over this. He’s his friend. Even when he teases him, there is an invisible line that he knows never to cross. But Haruka braces himself anyway. For insults, a hit, or both, he’s not sure.

What do you mean you don’t understand anything? You just don’t pay enough attention in class!

“That’s okay,” Suo says gently as he slides his textbook over. “Why don’t we start from the top?”

“Hey, don’t forget that I’m here too!” Kiryu exclaims, waving a sleeved hand in front of Haruka’s face. “I can help explain things too!”

By the time they finish their study session, the sun has long since set. But for once, Haruka feels like he’s actually learned something. He doesn’t think he’ll ace all of the upcoming exams, but he thinks that he’ll do well enough that he won’t be just barely passing anymore.

“I’m sorry for making you guys stay out so late,” Haruka says as they start to put their books away.

“It’s no problem!” Kiryu says with a carefree wave. “It helps that Sakura-chan’s such a good student!”

“Wh-what?!”

“Mm, you were actually able to pick up on a lot of things pretty quickly,” Suo adds. “I think that sometimes, the teachers tend to gloss over certain details too quickly. I’ve found that this is one of the reasons why Nire-kun tends to struggle with math.”

“Ah, I get what you mean!” Kiryu exclaims with a quick nod. “Sakamoto-sensei tends to talk really fast, too, so note taking during his class can be difficult!”

“This is…a common problem?” Haruka asks.

“Of course,” Suo says. “It’s also worth noting that every person excels and struggles with different subjects. I for one tend to struggle with art the most.”

“Ah, yeah. That hippo Suo-chan drew yesterday looked really funny!”

“That was supposed to be a hippo? I thought it was an elephant.”

Suo looks at them both, unamused. “You’re both wrong. It was a cat.”

Kiryu and Haruka both look at each other before they burst into a fit of giggles. Suo gives them a good minute to let it all out before clapping his hands together to get their attention.

“If you’re both done, why don’t we move on? Sakura-kun, which subject would you say you excel at most?”

Haruka lets out a huff of frustration. “I struggle with everything. Except PE, but I don’t think that counts.”

“Y’know, Sakura-chan, I wasn’t joking around when I told you that you’re a good student,” Kiryu says with a frown as he zips up his school bag.

“I-I know that. You were just bein’ nice and—“

“That wasn’t it either. I was being serious. And if the teachers in your previous school had actually taken the time to properly guide you, you probably could have found a subject that you excel at. Like Suo-chan said, you’re a very fast learner.” He looks at Haruka and holds his gaze, face uncharacteristically serious. “If you had been given the proper opportunities that everyone else had, for all we know, you could have been an honor student.”

“N-no. There’s no way! I’m stupid! I can barely read kanji and—“

“Sakura-kun, you’re not stupid,” Suo says, eye shimmering with righteous anger. “Please don’t ever call yourself that again.”

Haruka frowns. “Didn’t you call me stupid back when we first met? During that whole thing with Shishitoren.”

“Suo-chan, you called Sakura-chan stupid?” Kiryu frowns, an underlying coldness evident in his tone.

“Ah, so you remembered that,” Suo says, expression shifting into a rare show of discomfort. “But it seems you forgot that I retracted my statement after your fight with Togame-san. I do regret calling you that. You’re far from stupid, Sakura-kun. And I know it’s a bit late, but I apologize for saying that.”

Kiryu huffs, relaxing back against his chair. “He’s right, Sakura-chan. You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for.”

Haruka looks down at his hands. They’re trembling. He holds them together. He needs to hold himself together. “But my teachers…Every single one of them, they always said that—“

“Teachers can be wrong,” Suo says, gently grabbing onto one of Haruka’s hands. “They make mistakes just like everyone else.”

“You know,” Kiryu begins, grabbing onto Haruka’s other hand, “Sakura-chan has a lot of potential. It’s a bit frustrating that all those teachers couldn’t see it, but we do. And it’s not too late to turn things around. Who knows? Maybe by the end of the year, you’ll have even better grades than me and Suo-chan!”

“I highly doubt that.”

“You really need to stop that habit of putting yourself down so quickly, Sakura-kun. As your friend, it’s very upsetting to hear,” Suo says with a sad smile.

“I— Right, sorry. And, uh, thanks. For helping me out today.”

“Hm…Sakura-chan can thank us by having some boba with us! My treat!”

“How is it a ‘thank you’ for you guys if you’re treating us?!”

“It’s a reward for me ‘coz I get to see Sakura-chan make cute faces when you try a new boba flavor!”

“H-huh?! Cute?!”

“Come now, Sakura-kun. You should be used to this by now. This is hardly the first time either of us have called you cute.”

“Yes. We simply speak the truth.”

And in perfect unison, both boys get up, pulling Haruka helplessly along with them.

“Ugh! Fine! But you guys better not spam pics of me in the group chat again!”

“We make no promises!” Suo and Kiryu exclaim at the same time. 

July

Haruka’s wardrobe consists entirely of hand me downs. He has never gone shopping, and even if he did, he wouldn’t know what to do. As long as the clothes in question don’t draw too much attention to his already needlessly unique looks, then he’s fine with wearing anything.

If the soles of his shoes start to fall off, he duct tapes it back. If his shoes start to feel too tight, he curls his toes in and endures for as long as he can. If his shirts get holes or becomes too tight, he wears a jacket over it and hopes that nobody forces him to take it off. 

It’s harder with pants and shorts. If it’s too tight around his waist, he does his best to suck his stomach in. Some of his guardians suggest that he eat less, even going so far as to give him less allowance so that he won’t be “tempted” to break his diet. 

It’s hard, it’s always hard, but he endures. There’s no point in asking for more than what his guardians have provided for him. It’s always best just to keep the peace to the best of his ability. 

It gets harder to cover the imperfections in his clothes once the summer season starts. The jacket feels more stifling and less like a shield. But he knows that if he takes it off, the kids in his class will just be given more ammo to bully him with, so he endures. Even when his face turns red and he starts sweating buckets, he endures. Better to have his peers tease him for his insistence on wearing hoodies on a hot day than tease him for wearing shirts that barely fit him.

And he knows it’s bad. He knows it’s wrong and he has no right to. But sometimes, he looks at the other kids’ clothes with envy. The way that their shoes fit snugly, how their shirts have just enough room for them to breathe. How comfortable they look. Sometimes, he overhears them talk about current fashion trends and discuss which seasonal outfits would suit them most.

Haruka sometimes wonders, if he had been raised by a family that loved him, if he would have developed his own unique sense of style. One that would make people see an outfit and immediately think, Oh! Now that’s something that would suit Haruka Sakura! 

Haruka quickly shakes those thoughts away. It’s too dangerous. He can’t allow himself to think that way. To want. He can’t be envious of what other people have, he doesn’t have that right. 

Someone like him can’t have nice things.

Haruka stares blankly at the rows of clothes set before him. “What am I supposed to do here?”

Kiryu sidles up next to him. “Well, typically when you go shopping, you pick out things that you like.”

Haruka frowns as he scrutinizes the clothes in front of him. “…I don’t really know what I want.” Being asked what he wants is still a concept that’s completely new to Haruka. He doesn’t know what to look for and doesn’t even know what type of style would suit him.

“How about this?” Nirei asks as he shoves a black and white hoodie in Haruka’s arms. The center of the hoodie has a cat’s face printed on it, while the hood itself is topped by cat shaped ears.

“Oh, that’s perfect!” Kiryu exclaims excitedly. 

“I must agree,” Suo adds, popping up from behind Haruka, “that would suit Sakura-kun perfectly.”

Haruka stares at the hoodie in his arms and frowns. In what way would this suit him perfectly? Was he missing out on some inside joke or something? He takes a look at the price tag and balks. That’s way over his budget. He hands the hoodie back to Nirei.

“Thanks, but I’m good. It’s way too expensive.”

“Then I’ll pay for it,” Kiryu says, quickly taking the piece of clothing from Nirei’s arms. 

“What?! No way! I can’t make you pay for that!”

“You’re not making me pay for anything. I’m doing it because I want to.”

Before Haruka can say anything else, Tsugeura comes barreling in with a shopping cart.

“Why does he have that?” Haruka asks.

“To make it easier to carry our haul,” Suo says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“What haul?”

Kiryu comes up next to Haruka and swings an arm over his shoulder. “Oh Sakura-chan, you sweet, summer child.“

“I was born in the spring.”

“Semantics. You have five identical T-shirts. Five. You need clothes.”

Haruka feels himself bristle involuntarily. “What’s wrong with havin’ identical shirts?! It fits and it’s comfortable, what more would I need?!”

“More options, for one,” Suo says, picking out a shirt from one of the hangers and putting it up against Haruka’s chest.

“Hm, I think this would suit you.”

Haruka looks down. It’s a black changshan, not unlike the ones Suo normally wears. 

“Alright then, I’ll be getting this for you,” Suo says as he places the changshan in the cart. “We’ll have to find some pants to match.”

“Wait, you’re buying clothes for me, too?!”

“It would appear so.”

“Why?!”

“Because I want to.”

“That’s not a—“

“Sakura-kun!” Tsugeura yells, drawing the attention of nearly everyone in the store. He holds up a bright orange track suit. “What do you think of this?!”

“Uh…it’s really bright?”

“Isn’t it?!”

Haruka turns to see the rest of his friends wearing similar looks of disappointment. 

“Tsuge-chan, I knew you didn’t have much sense for fashion but this is just…”

“Hm? What’s wrong with it?”

“Tsugeura-kun, could you come with me for a moment?” Suo asks as he pulls the red head aside. He whispers something in his ear, but Haruka can’t hear what’s being said. Whatever it is, it makes Tsugeura’s face turn ghostly pale as he loudly excuses himself before he exits the store.

Suo walks back up to them, calm smile in place. “Tsugeura-kun says he’ll wait for us outside until we’re done.”

“Suo-san…what did you tell him?”

“Oh, just an old rumor I heard a while back. Something about an old spirit that still haunts this very clothing store.”

“Suo-san…”

“You know what,” Kiryu begins, finally removing his arms from across Haruka’s shoulders, “that’s probably for the best. I don’t think Tsuge-chan will be much help when it comes to fashion.”

Nirei sighs but acquiesces. “I guess that’s true.”

“It’s not like him coming along will prove to be entirely worthless,” Suo adds. “He’ll be helpful with carrying our shopping bags afterwards.”

“Suo-san, can you please not talk about him like he’s some kind of pack mule?”

“Yeah, and how much shopping are you guys expecting to do, anyway?” 

“Sakura-chan, did you not hear me? We are getting you a full wardrobe. How many pairs of shoes do you own?”

“One.”

Kiryu makes a face. “Alright then, next—“

“Oh, I’ve got this!” Nirei yells brightly. “Sakura-san, you prefer high tech sneakers, right? I saw a pair that would suit you earlier!”

“Looks like Nire-kun has that part covered,” Suo chuckles as he gingerly places a pair of silk pants in the cart. As Nirei runs off to grab the aforementioned shoes, Kiryu continues to peruse the racks of clothes and intermittently add more things to their growing pile.

“Sakura-kun, if you find anything you like, be sure to let us know.”

“I...” Haruka swallows. He looks at the clothes, all picked out specifically for him. They’re brand new. He’s never had anything new before. What if he ruins them? He gets into fights all the time. What if he gets them dirty and misshapen? After his friends went out of their way to pick these out and buy them for him with their own personal money.

“I can’t accept all of this. I’ve never owned new clothes before. I’ll probably just mess them up.”

Kiryu and Suo share a look before they turn back to address Haruka. 

Kiryu smiles at him. “Well, if you mess it up, we’ ll just have to buy you new ones.”

“You deserve to have nice things, Sakura-kun.”

There is a warmth that bubbles up in Haruka’s chest, then. Because nobody has every told him those words before. Nobody has ever gone out of their way to pick things out specifically for him. It was always “be grateful for what you have” or “this much is what someone like you deserves.” Haruka looks down. He has not cried in a very long time. Doesn’t know if he still remembers how to. He’s struggling to find the right words to say to his friends when he hears the distinct sounds of Nirei’s hurried foot steps.

The shorter boy jogs up to join them, holding not just one pair of shoes, but several. “Sakura-san! I realized that you only wear sneakers, so I decided to bring up other styles of shoes you might like! You don’t own any sandals, right?”

“Um, no…I don’t.”

“Great! Why don’t you take a seat and we can try some of these shoes on?”

Haruka lets Nirei pull him along and set him down on a seat as he chatters away about whatever is in style this season. He looks up to see Kiryu and Suo in deep discussion over what looks like a black and white cat onesie. Seriously, why do they keep picking cat-themed clothes for him?

“Sakura-san!” Nirei breaks Haruka from his thoughts. He looks down to find the freckled boy smiling brightly at him. “What do you think? Does it feel comfortable enough?”

Haruka looks down (and elects not to think too hard about how Nirei already knew what his exact shoe size is). He lets his toes spread out. The shoes fit nicely, he likes the style enough, and the tips of the shoes have enough allowance for him to still grow into it. He nods. 

“Yeah. It fits perfectly.”

August

Haruka’s summer vacations all play out the same way. He either spends it staring blankly at the ceiling of his room or taking walks around the neighborhood during the times when the streets see less foot traffic. It’s still a reprieve from the constant bullying that he gets at school, but it’s also unbearably boring. 

Haruka doesn’t have any hobbies — he was never really given any opportunities to explore his own interests — and it becomes all the more painfully obvious during this time of the year when he’s forced into more solitude than usual. 

He doesn’t read because he was never given any access to books and the librarians at the public library are as unwelcoming to him as the teachers at his own school. Most sports and games can’t be played alone and having access to any kind of gaming console is a pipe dream for someone like him. There was a period when he got into sketching in his notebooks, but he gave up on that when he found them all thrown in a pond after school one day.

The solitude is even more deafening than normal during the Obon holiday. Oftentimes during this period, the family he’s staying with will leave to observe the holiday with the rest of their extended family, leaving Haruka behind to fend for himself. Which is fine with him. It means he has to walk around eggshells less often. 

But even if the family is away, Haruka can’t bring himself to make use of any of the amenities in the house that he would normally not be granted access to. Call it a survival instinct, but Haruka can’t help but feel like they would know, somehow, if he used their television or sat on their couch even if they were miles away. Maybe Haruka was simply being paranoid, or maybe he was being properly paranoid, but either way, he was not willing to take any risks that would see him living out on the streets.

So, even if he was alone at home, Haruka still spent most of his time holed up in his tiny room. This was always the safer option. It was boring and lonely, sure, but it was better than risking punishment upon the arrival of the house's owners.

“Do you have any plans for Obon?” Kotoha asks as she takes Haruka’s empty plate.

“No,” is his curt response. His friends all have plans with their families (begrudgingly, in Kiryu’s case), so Haruka’s Obon will be spent alone just like any other year.

Kotoha hums, as if she expected his answer. “What are you gonna do about your meals? Most of the stores will be closed.”

“The convenience stores will still be open, so I should be good.”

Kotoha immediately turns on him with wide eyes. “Are you…Are you planning to eat nothing but instant ramen and onigiri for the next three days?”

Haruka raises a questioning eyebrow. “Yeah? That’s what I do every year.”

“Not anymore,” Kotoha says matter of factly. “We’re feeding you at Furin Gardens for the next three days. Be there tomorrow at 8 am for breakfast.”

“What?!”

She ignores him as she goes through the employees only door in the back. “I’m gonna go call Yuki-sensei to let him know. Give me a holler if another customer comes in.”

“Wait, hang on, I haven’t—“

Kotoha closes the door, leaving a shocked, open-mouthed Haruka behind. Well, it looks like he does, in fact, have plans for Obon this year.

The moment he steps foot in Furin Gardens, Haruka is immediately knocked down by about a dozen kids.

“Sakura-kun’s here!”

“Sakura-kun came to play!”

“Yay! Sakura-kun’s here!”

As Haruka moves to stand back up, the kids continue to cling to him like he’s some jungle gym, hanging around his neck and off his arms. They’re lucky he has such good core strength, otherwise they’d all be on the floor right now. 

“Hey, kids! What do you think you’re doing?!” Yuki-sensei comes into view, giving Haruka an apologetic look. “Get off of him! That’s no way to treat a guest!”

The kids do as they’re told and mutter quiet apologies, but most of them still cling to Haruka’s hands and legs as they all make their way to the dining room. Kotoha greets him brightly as she finishes setting the table.

“Sakura, good morning! You’re right on time!”

“Yeah. Thanks for having me over.”

A familiar face pokes its head from behind the kitchen counter. Natsuki’s eyes widen when it locks with Haruka, who offers her a slight nod in greeting. Natsuki returns the nod before finally fully emerging and moving to stand awkwardly next to him.

“Okay, that’s everyone!” Yuki-sensei says excitedly once everyone manages to find a place to sit.

“Wait, what about Umemiya?” Haruka asks. He had thought it was weird when he hadn’t heard his boisterous voice the moment he entered the building.

“Oh, Umemiya left earlier with some of the other kids to visit their family’s grave sites.”

“O-Oh.” Haruka had noticed that there were less kids present than usual. He didn’t know a lot about Obon, nobody had ever taken the time to properly explain the significance behind the holiday. All he knew was that it was a time when people remembered loved ones that had passed away.

“Alright kids!” Yuki-sensei exclaims, pulling Haruka from his thoughts. “Let’s all give a quick thanks for the meal!”

“Thanks for the food!” Is chorused around the large dining table before every one starts digging in. Kotoha cooked most of the food, so it goes without saying that everything tastes great. 

“Sakura-kun, what have you been up to during your summer break?” Yuki-sensei asks.

Haruka takes the time to finish the food that’s in his mouth before he replies. “Mostly just hanging out with my friends.” It’s a stark contrast to his lonely summers in previous years. Everyday, someone is calling or messaging him to hang out. If it isn’t his usual circle of friends, it’s Togame or Nakamura or one of his senpai. Even Suzuri has called and asked to play games a few times.

“That’s great! You need to enjoy your youth while you can!” Yuki-sensei replies with wistful sigh.

“Sensei, you sound like an old man,” Kotoha says with a laugh.

“Sensei,” a little girl starts, “do you die when you get old?”

And just like that, it’s like a switch has been flipped. Everyone just stops eating, eyes all trained on the bespectacled man.

“Um, uh…Kyoko-chan, why are you asking?”

“Ume-niichan and the others went to visit their family’s graves, right? Because they’re dead? Do you usually die because you’re old?”

“Um, well….”

“Sensei, what happens when you die?”

“Yuki-sensei, does dying hurt?”

“Sensei, is it possible to just not die?”

“Um, uh, those are all valid questions and, uh…Who wants to watch Doraemon after breakfast?!”

Several hands shoot up across the table, the topic of death seemingly forgotten as the kids start excitedly discussing the anime in question.

Haruka leans over to Kotoha. “Is that how he usually problem solves?”

Kotoha chuckles softly. “Yup. When in doubt, use Doraemon. And if that doesn’t work? Plug the Switch in and put Super Mario on.”

Haruka spends the rest of the day watching Doraemon and playing games with the kids. It’s not how he expected to spend the Obon holiday, and he suspects that this isn’t how most people observe it, but he finds himself enjoying it nonetheless. The kids are loud, rowdy, and clingy, but it honestly isn’t much different from hanging out with his own friends. 

“Hey, do you guys want to watch a movie?” Kotoha asks after they’ve finished playing a round of Jenga.

“A movie?” Haruka asks. He’d only seen two movies with his friends so far, an old anime movie called My Neighbor Totoro and some foreign movie called Jurassic Park. He liked Totoro enough, it was nice and chill and Totoro himself was plenty cute. He felt like he would have enjoyed Jurassic Park more if Tsugeura hadn’t screamed so much. Haruka had to physically hold Suo back and prevent him from committing manslaughter at least three times.

The kids all excitedly crowd around Kotoha once they hear about the movie, all chiming in their own choices. Eventually, they settle for a movie called Tarzan. 

And it’s…it’s nice. The songs are nice, the story is nice, and Haruka finds himself relating to Tarzan more than he’d expected. A guy that was othered his whole life because he looked different, who only ever wanted to be accepted, to be acknowledged and loved by his father... Were there more stories out there like this? Books, manga, TV shows, other movies, that featured protagonists that went through similar struggles?

He'll try asking his friends when they hang out next time. He's sure they'd have some good recommendations.

Kotoha comes up to him looking frazzled, having had to fend off more questions about death and “did Clayton go to hell because he’s a bad guy?” and “what even is hell?” from the younger kids.

“That’s on me,” Kotoha says with a huff as she sits back down on the couch next to Haruka. “I completely forgot that Clayton went out like that. But putting that aside, how did you like the movie?”

“It was good,” Haruka says. “I liked the main character a lot.”

“I liked his relationship with his Mom,” Natsuki pipes up from Haruka’s other side. “Even though they weren’t related by blood, they were really close.”

Kotoha smiles at that. “Yeah, that’s one thing I like about that movie. It makes it clear that you can become a family even if you’re not related by blood.”

“Sakura, do you think you could copy some of the moves Tarzan did?” Natsuki asks.

“Like, swinging from vines? Where would I even find stuff like that?”

Their discussion is cut short by Umemiya’s loud greeting.

“HEY EVERYONE! I’M BAAAACK!”

Umemiya comes bounding in, his presence as loud as his voice, with the rest of the kids that had been out trailing behind him. There’s a loud chorus of “Welcome back’s!” and “Ume-niichan!” as the leader of Bofurin is turned into a human jungle gym. 

After everyone settles down, he comes to the couch and gives an affectionate head pat to each of its three occupants. 

“Hey, gang! And thanks for joining us, Sakura!”

“Yeah. Uh, thanks for having me."

“Any time! You’re staying for dinner right?”

Haruka feels Natsuki cling to his arm before he can even answer. He looks down in feels himself smile before he can stop himself. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Great! What are we having, Kotoha? I’m starving!”

Haruka spends the next three days going over to Furin Gardens. He ends up never having to make a convenience store run the entire time. 

For Haruka, Obon used to mean quiet days at home eating convenience store food and wallowing in his loneliness. Now, Obon brings to mind the laughter of children, home cooked meals, and the warmth that comes with being surrounded by family.

September

Regardless of where he lives, Haruka is always given the same thing everyday for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Some coins and a few bills — just enough to purchase a cheap, ready to heat meal from the local convenience store. 

He is never allowed to have a spot at the dinner table. His looks are too unsightly, his guardians would say. He would just ruin their appetite. He should be grateful he’s being fed at all. 

Haruka doesn’t know what a home cooked meal tastes like. He doesn’t have a favorite food, because he always picks out the cheapest foods at the convenience store: rice balls or instant ramen. He likes them enough, but they don’t make him feel full. They just do enough that he can power through the day without keeling over from hunger.

When he moves in with the family that makes him stay in a shed, it is the first time he gets a proper view of what a family dinner looks like. In all of his previous homes, he was only allowed to eat in his room with his door shut tight. He would hear the sounds of cutlery clanging against plates and chairs scraping against the floor. Idle chatter and laughter filled with mirth as those families talked about their day while they ate.

But through the light shining from the window of the main house, Haruka is allowed to at least spectate from the outside. He sees the mother bring a steaming hot tray of food while her son gets up excitedly to point at the food. It must be his favorite dish, Haruka thinks. He recalls overhearing both parents praise him for getting high marks on his test recently, so that must be why. They all share a laugh as the father urges his son to sit back down.

They clap their hands together and utter a quick thanks for the meal before they start digging into their food. Haruka knows he shouldn’t keep watching, he’ll only end up hurting himself in the long run. But he can’t bear to tear his eyes away from the sight. It all looks so warm and inviting, and Haruka knows it’s dangerous, but he wants it. He wants to be part of that picture so badly.

He closes his eyes and imagines himself in the other boy’s shoes for a moment. He is sitting in a chair as his mother pinches his cheeks and asks what he wants for dinner. Haruka still does not know what his favorite food is — if he even has one — so instead, Haruka tells his mother that he likes anything that she makes. His mother chuckles as she goes to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

His father settles down in the seat next to him and ruffles his hair. He asks him about his day. In his imagination, Haruka has friends. He does well in school and participates in club activities like any normal kid. He tells his father that he played games with his friends until the sun set and that they all shared snacks together before going their separate ways.

Finally, his mother comes in with dinner prepared. She sets it down and they all give a quick thanks for the meal before Haruka digs in. His mother’s cooking is immaculate and Haruka finds himself asking for seconds before long. His mother laughs and makes a comment about how good his appetite is. His father says it’s a good thing because he’s still growing. 

(Haruka has never been allowed a second helping. He has never felt full.)

Before he can allow himself to indulge in his fantasies any further, Haruka opens his eyes. The mother notices him staring from the window and Haruka feels his body instinctively take a step back. She says something to the father, who frowns and gets up to close the curtains, but not before giving Haruka a harsh look. One that tells him he will never be welcomed into their home.

Haruka shrinks back before dejectedly moving to his futon and curling into his blanket. 

It’s own fault for letting himself get caught up in fantasies that could never come true. That bright world is one that he could never belong in.

He closes his eyes and ignores his growling stomach as he drifts to sleep.

“What do you want for dinner?” Momijikawa asks as they make their way to the local grocery store.

“Omurice!” 

Momijikawa sighs, but his expression is soft and fond. “We had that last night. You can’t have the same dish everyday. It’s not healthy. Is there anything else you like?”

Haruka pauses to think. “I liked that pork cutlet you made the other day.”

Momijikawa nods, satisfied. “Pork cutlet it is then.” He grabs the nearest shopping cart as they make their way into the store. As Momijikawa picks things out from shelves, he explains to Haruka what each ingredient’s purpose is. He gives tips on what to look for when picking out products — like going for the items closer to the back of the shelves or how to tell which food items look fresher. Haruka eagerly soaks in the knowledge his friend imparts, having never done much grocery shopping himself previously.

As per usual, Momijikawa insists on footing the bill once they reach the check out counter. But Haruka at least gets him to agree to let him help out with prepping the food this time.

“What other kinds of food do you like?” Momijikawa asks as they exit the store and are met by the cool autumn air. 

“Uh…mostly meat, I guess? The yakiniku we had with the guys the other day was really good.”

Momijikawa nods, as if filing away this information in his head. “Have you ever had hamburger steak?”

Haruka shakes his head. He’s familiar with the dish, has seen it a few times on other people’s plates, but has never tried it himself. “Is it good?”

Momijikawa smirks. “Yeah, I think you’d like it. I’ll make it the next time you come over.” He says it like it’s a done deal. Like Haruka’s nightly dinner visits have already been pre-ordained. And in a way, he supposes they have been. It’s almost started to become routine at this point — Momijikawa coming to pick him up after class when neither of them have patrols scheduled and discussing their dinner options as they make their way to the grocery store.

Haruka wonders, not for the first time, if he could have experienced this kind of domesticity earlier had he been raised by a family that actually loved him.

He shakes free from his thoughts. No use thinking about that now. 

Once they get to Momijikawa’s apartment, they wash up and make their way to the kitchen. Haruka has never been in another person’s kitchen before. He was never allowed to use the kitchens in the homes he lived in previously. The owners of those homes always said that he’d taint the silverware and utensils if he touched them. 

When Momijikawa hands him a knife and instructs him on how to chop the vegetables, Haruka does so with utmost care. But he must have made some kind of mistake because Momijikawa keeps making a face as he cuts.

“Am I doing it wrong?”

“Well, no, not exactly. It’s just…Haruka, is this your first time cooking?”

Haruka shakes his head. “Kotoha tried to teach me how to make omurice, once. Ah, but I guess this is my first time being in the kitchen of someone else’s home.”

Momijikawa raises a brow. “Is that why you’re being all careful? You can just relax, you know. You’re just chopping vegetables.”

Haruka huffs. “I know. I just don’t want to mess up, is all.” He looks down at the chopped vegetables and wrinkles his nose involuntarily. He still doesn’t like them, but for whatever reason, he can eat them if Momijikawa’s the one cooking.

“Hey,” Momijikawa says, coming to stand next to Haruka. “I don’t care if you mess up. I’m more worried about you accidentally hurting yourself. Stop gripping the knife so hard, just relax.”

Haruka looks up, sees the genuine worry on Momijikawa’s face, and finally does as he’s told. Satisfied that he’s finally listening to him, Momijikawa moves to turn the stove on. They work in comfortable silence, only speaking up as needed.

“Thanks for the food,” they both say in unison.

Haruka digs in and immediately feels his face brighten. Momijikawa’s cooking is really good, as usual. The boy in question smiles as he takes in Haruka’s expression.

“I take it you like it?”

Haruka nods his head, mouth too full to form a coherent sentence. From there, they chat about school and whatever they have going on in their lives. Momijikawa talks about how his class spent about an hour looking for Yuzuriha after he got spooked by some overly friendly shop keepers that wanted to gift him with food. Haruka talks about how he and Kaji got roped into helping a little girl coax out a stray kitten that was hiding under a dumpster. 

“She made you and Kaji-san make cat sounds?!” Momijikawa asks with a mischievous glint in his eye. 

Haruka groans. “Yes. She kept insisting that the cat wouldn’t come out unless we tried to speak its language.”

“Just for future reference, how exactly did you communicate with the cat?”

“Well, all I did was say nya— Wait, you’re making fun of me, aren’t ya?!” Haruka feels his face turn bright red. Sometimes Momijikawa could be just as bad as Suo when it came to riling him up.

“Sorry, sorry!” But the other boy’s laughing so hard that Haruka finds it hard to believe that he’s genuinely sorry. Haruka shovels more food in his mouth and pointedly turns his head away. The teasing is annoying, but…

He’s shared meals with his friends before. At school, at restaurants, but something about eating in a home at a proper dining table feels different. It makes him think of that family he used to observe from the shed. Of his fantasies eating with his father and mother. To eat and laugh and talk about your day after the sun has long since set.

“This is nice,” Haruka finally says.

“Saying ‘nya’?”

Haruka bristles. “No, of course not! Just…eatin’ with someone. I was never allowed to eat with the families I stayed with, so…” Haruka puts his chopsticks down and turns to face Momijikawa fully. He smiles. He finds that it’s becoming much easier to do lately. “Thanks. For always having me over.”

Momijikawa makes that weird face again. The one from when he first gave Haruka the open invitation to come over for dinner anytime. “I, er, yeah…If anything, I should be the one thanking you.” He takes a breath and puts his own chopsticks down. “It’s been a long time since I shared a meal with someone. I almost forgot how nice it feels. So, uh, thanks to you too. For keeping me company.”

Momijikawa looks out the window. “It’s, uh, getting late. You wanna stay over?”

Haruka takes out his phone and checks the time. He hadn’t realized how much time had passed. He nods. “Sure, but I didn’t bring any extra clothes.”

Momijikawa shrugs his shoulders. “That’s fine. You can just borrow mine.”

“Are you gonna make fun of me again?”

Momijikawa pointedly does not look Haruka in the eyes as he replies. “No.”

Somehow, Haruka does not believe him. But he accepts, anyway. 

After they’ve cleared the table and settled down for bed, Momijikawa once again insisting that Haruka take his bed instead of the extra futon, Haruka lays his head down and goes to sleep with a full belly.

October

Haruka stares up at the blackboard. On it are a list of sports events for the upcoming sports festival. The names of all of his classmates are listed under different events at least once. 

But Haruka’s name is nowhere to be found.

The teacher claps her hands to get the students to settle down and give her their full attention. “Alright, it looks like our lineup has been decided! Now, just to make sure, has every one signed up for at least one event?” 

There is a loud chorus of “Yes’s”.

Haruka stays quiet and keeps his head down. This is his last chance to speak up. But—

But last year, in a different school, his teacher had begrudgingly added his name to the ball toss event. Even though Haruka had gotten most of his own balls in, his team had lost and they had turned him into a scapegoat.

They had called him a bad luck charm. A curse.

But the worse part was having to deal with the parents. Having to deal with their judgmental stares all day. Their loud, scathing comments that hurt even more than the ones from his peers.

When all of the kids sat on picnic blankets and ate home cooked bentos with their families for lunch, Haruka had sat by himself in a little corner under a tree, feeling even more like an outcast than he usually did. Even from his spot, he could still hear their whispers and gossips.

Look at that little freak, eating all alone. Not even his own parents showed up to support him.

All he has is a rice ball. His family didn’t care enough to even pack a proper bento box for him. How pathetic.

That’s the kid, right? The one who messed up on the ball toss event? Signed up for only one event, and he couldn’t even get it right!

Haruka grips the fabric of his shorts and bites his lip. It isn’t worth it. 

His teacher smiles and claps her hands again. “Great! Now, don’t forget to tell your parents that they’re more than welcome to come and cheer you on, tomorrow!”

Haruka still goes to school in his gym clothes, but he leaves his house earlier than usual. He doesn’t want to deal with all the extra judgmental stares from his schoolmates’ family members like last year. 

He had considered skipping school entirely — it’s not like anyone would have cared — until he realized there weren’t any other places he could pass the time in without having to deal with the same judgmental stares he’d get from school anyway. 

With this in mind, he makes the trek up to the school roof, ignoring the “off-limits” sign posted in front of the door. He settles himself in a spot that gives him a good view of the field, but far enough away that no one below would be able to spot him.

Placing his backpack down, Haruka brings his knees up to his chest and waits. Eventually, students and their family members start making their way in and filling the once empty courtyard. The speakers play loud, lively music as a teacher announces the start of the festivities. There’s loud cheering from below and what sounds like party poppers going off. 

It looks fun, Haruka thinks to himself bitterly as he scoots a little more to get a better view of the events below.

That turns out to be a mistake because the games look so much fun. The kids are all laughing, jostling each other playfully. Their parents all cheer from the sidelines as loud as they can. Even when a team loses, nobody cries or throws a tantrum. Haruka ends up having to tear his eyes away because it’s all too much. He wishes he was down there with every one else. He wishes he had parents that cheered for him as passionately as the other kids’ did. 

He wishes he looked normal.

Haruka’s stomach cuts through his thoughts as it elicits a loud growl. He reaches into his backpack to take out the onigiri he had bought from the convenience store earlier. He looks down and sees that the rest of the kids and their parents have settled into their picnic blankets and started eating their own lunches.

The bento boxes are practically bursting with food. Every bento has an ample amount of rice with a variety of side dishes to go with it. Some of the kids are swapping or sharing what’s in their bentos, big smiles plastered on their faces. Even from his place far up on the roof, Haruka can hear the adults loudly urging their kids to keep eating more so that they have enough energy for the next round of events.

Haruka looks down at his plain rice ball and briefly considers hauling it against the wall in frustration. But he doesn’t. This is all he has to eat and he’s hungry, so like always, he’ll have to make do.

He turns away from the smiles and the sweet smells of home cooked meals and eats his pathetic excuse for a lunch in silence.

He knows he’s not doing himself any favors, but he still finds himself watching the next round of events. The relay race looks fun. The borrowing race looks fun. The ball toss looks fun. They all look so much fun and it’s not fair that he can’t even participate in a single event because of how he looks.

He heaves a heavy sigh and lies on his back and decides that now would be a good time for a nap. He wakes up again during the tail end of the awards ceremony. He knows, then, that the festivities will start dwindling down soon. He waits until he’s sure that everyone has left the school premises before he makes his way back home.

It’s late by then, with the sun having long since set, but the family he’s staying with won’t care that he’s home later than usual. 

Before leaving, he stops at the field. It is quiet and empty now, swept clean by students, parents, and staff alike. He looks at where the podium for the awards ceremony stood and imagines himself standing atop it with a golden medal hung around his neck. His classmates are smiling and cheering for him. His parents are at the front of the audience beaming proudly at him.

He blinks tears away, stopping them before they can fall freely. It’s no use thinking about what if scenarios that will never come true. He turns his head and trudges back home with heavy footsteps.

Haruka stares up at the blackboard. On it are a list of sports events for the upcoming sports festival. His name is listed under every event.

“Is this allowed?” Haruka asks with a quirked brow.

“Absolutely not!” Nirei exclaims, slamming his palms against the teacher’s desk. “You guys! I know Sakura-san’s really amazing, but he’s still human! You can’t expect him to participate in every event!”

“But he has the best grades in P.E.!” Anzai whines. “We’ll be a shoe-in to win any event so long as he’s on our team!”

“Sakura-kun admittedly does have a lot of stamina, but he’ll still need to take intermittent breaks,” Suo replies, his eye narrowing slightly. “Will you all be willing to take responsibility for him if he collapses from exhaustion?”

It is quiet after that before Anzai finally mutters a weak, “Okay, yeah. I guess you have a point.”

“Of course I do. Now, Sakura-kun, which of these events do you want to participate in yourself?”

Haruka looks up at the board and considers the question. “Um…If I’m being completely honest, all of the events sound fun. I kind of want to do them all.”

Suo sighs and puts a hand up to silence the class before they can erupt into cheers. “Sakura-kun, as Nire-kun and I have already stated, that just isn’t humanly possible. You’ll tire yourself out if you try to participate in every single event.”

Haruka frowns (Suo would later say that he pouted, but Suo is also a serial liar, so Haruka is not inclined to believe him), looking back up at the board again and weighing his options. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ve only ever participated in a sports festival once and didn’t really have a good time. My team kept blaming me for losing the event. I didn’t bother participating any more after that, but I always thought all of the events looked fun…”

“Sakura-san…”

Suo puts a finger to his mouth, considering. “Well, we still can’t have you participate in all of the events, but why don’t we eliminate events that don’t require too much athleticism, like the borrowing race?”

“Oh, hey, that’s right! That’s an event that even Nirei could do well, in!” Kakiuchi yells out.

Nirei lets out an indignant “Hey!” but doesn’t offer a rebuttal.

“We’ll definitely need Sakura-chan for the cavalry race,” Kiryu says. “He’s not that tall and he has good upper body strength, so he’d definitely give our team a massive advantage as the horse.”

“Who’re you calling short?! I’m literally taller than you!”

“I didn’t call you short. I said you’re not that tall.”

“That’s the same thing!”

“We’ll absolutely need Sakura to be the anchor for the relay race,” Takanashi says, moving the conversation along before it can deviate any further. “I’m pretty sure he’s the fastest guy in our class. Maybe even our whole grade.”

“And I genuinely can’t think of anyone more suited to win the bread-eating race,” Kurita adds.

“Maybe we can take him out of the ball toss event,” Nirei says, gazing up at the board. 

“No, I want to do that,” Haruka says. Nirei and Suo both turn to look at him. Haruka feels himself flush at the attention, especially knowing full well that the rest of his classmates’ eyes are locked on him without having to turn around. “I-if that’s okay…” He finishes lamely.

“Of course it’s okay,” Suo says. “Hm, then how about the giant ball rolling event? Would you be okay with sitting that one out?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

They continue like that for a while, picking and choosing which events would benefit most from Haruka’s participation. When they’re finally finished, Haruka looks up at the board. His name isn’t on every event any more, but it’s still in most of them. 

“Well, I suppose that should do it,” Suo says, dusting the chalk from his hands. “What do you think, Sakura-kun? Excited?”

Haruka feels himself nod automatically. “Yeah.”

From the corner of his eye, he sees his two vice captains exchange a smile. “Good,” is all Suo says in reply.

“WELCOME EVERYONE TO FURIN HIGH’S SPORTS FESTIVAL! LET’S ALL GET OUT THERE AND HAVE A BLAST!” Umemiya’s cheery voice reverberates around the field through the school’s outdated speaker system. He says something else, but Haruka expertly tunes him out as he starts to stretch. 

“Sakura-san, there you are!” Nirei comes up to him, already out of breath even though none of the events have started yet. “The bread race is about to start. Do you know where to go?”

Haruka nods but lets Nirei lead him to the event grounds anyway.

“I heard that the bread they’ll be using was donated from Cactus Bakery. They even said we could eat any leftovers after! Isn’t that great?”

Haruka voices a grunt in assent and bites his lip as he tries to hold back a smile. He just knows that his friends would tease him relentlessly if they ever found out, but he really is excited for this year’s sports festival.

The day goes by without a hitch, with Haruka winning every event he’s in, although the cavalry battle had been a close call. Yuzuriha, of all people, had ended up putting up quite the fight toward the end. For how timid the guy could be, he could get surprisingly fierce when the situation called for it.

When the competition was over, Haruka had walked over to compliment him on his fighting prowess, but the guy ended up apologizing in full seiza position before running away to who knows where. Last he heard, Yuzuriha’s vice captains were still looking for him.

Haruka plops down next to Kiryu and Tusgeura on the grassy fields under the shade of a tree. Kiryu helpfully hands him a cold bottle of water.

“Great job out there, Sakura-chan!”

“Yes! You’re doing an amazing job virtuously leading our class to victory!”

“Mnn,” Is all Haruka has the energy to say in reply. At least now he can take a break until the next event. He looks up, spotting Suo, Nirei, and Sugishita lined up for the borrowing race.

“You know, I heard that Ume-chan-senpai wrote down all of the prompts for the borrowing race this year.”

Haruka frowns. “I hope he didn’t write down anything weird.” Like vegetables or plants or something. Otherwise, most of the participants would have to keep running up and down the school roof.

When the signal for the race goes off, Suo and Sugishita both rush in different directions while Nirei runs towards —

“Is it just me, or is Nirei-chan running straight at us?”

“Sakura-saaaaan!” Nirei yells as he continues to run for dear life. “Please come with me!”

“Oh! Looks like Nirei-kun’s prompt involves you, captain!”

Haruka heaves a sigh before he stands up and runs to meet Nirei halfway. Nirei gives him a quick smile in thanks and grabs onto his wrist as they run to where Hiragi’s standing.

“Hiragi-san! Here!” Nirei hands the slip of paper to Hiragi. He reads it, looks at Haruka, and smiles. “Yeah, that makes sense. You pass.” He turns the slip of paper around so that Haruka can read what it says.

“A PERSON I ADMIRE.”

Haruka feels his face flush, but Nirei thanks Hiragi and runs off to get his next prompt before Haruka can say anything. His work seemingly done, Haruka turns to head back to where Kiryu and Tusgeura are sitting. He’s about halfway there when Suo stops him.

“Ah, Sakura-kun, perfect timing. I need your help.”

Haruka sighs but lets Suo lead him by the wrist back to Hiragi, who gives him an amused smile. “Back so soon?”

Haruka merely grunts in response. Hiragi takes the slip of paper from Suo’s free hand and lets out a snort. “Yeah, you definitely pass for this.” He turns the paper around for Haruka to see the words.

“SOMEONE CUTE.”

Haruka feels his whole body turn red. “H-h-huh?! What’re you talking about?! I ain’t c-c-cute!” 

Suo tilts his head to the side as a teasing smile plays upon his lips. “See, with that blushing face and your stuttering voice, you’re only further proving my point. Anyways, thanks for your assistance.” Suo leaves to get his next prompt before Haruka can make any kind of retort. He lets out a groan as he turns to leave, hoping and praying that nobody else gets the bright idea of dragging him back to Hiragi.

“Sakura, there you are!” 

God, why?

Haruka turns to glare at Tsubakino, but the older boy remains completely unaffected as he drags Haruka along with him. “Sorry, but I’m gonna need to borrow you for a minute!”

“Sure, why not? Everybody else seems to have the same idea.”

He lets himself be dragged back to Hiragi without protest. Tsubakino should consider himself lucky that Haruka likes him enough to not put up a fight.

“Ah, I was wondering when I’d get to see you again,” Hiragi says, and it genuinely sounds like he’s enjoying this way too much. Maybe this is what Haruka gets for being one of Hiragi’s primary causes for stress as of late. Hiragi takes the strip of paper from Tsubakino and nods. “Yeah, that checks out.” Once again, he turns the paper around for Haruka to see.

“A CAT-LIKE PERSON.”

“Who’re you calling cat-like?!”

“Yeah, I can’t really think of anyone else that would fit this prompt,” Hiragi says, ignoring Haruka’s comment. “Well, except maybe Kaji. But he’s participating in this event, too.”

“Right? I really lucked out running into Sakura when I did!” Tsubakino gives Haruka a pat on a head and a quick “thank you” before dashing off.

“Man, what’s with these prompts?!”

“I’ll admit, I was pretty worried when I hear that Umemiya would be the one responsible for writing the prompts. But now? I’m having the time of my life.”

Haruka frowns at his upperclassman. “Hiragi, you’re surprisingly vindictive.”

Hiragi raises a brow. “‘Vindictive’? That’s a good word. Looks like your tutoring sessions with Suo and Kiryu are paying off.”

“Don’t patronize me.”

“Really paying off,” Hiragi pats Haruka’s head and nudges him towards the shaded area where Kiryu and Tsugeura are still waiting for him. “Now run along before another contestant snatches you.

Haruka huffs but lets himself be moved. He doesn’t even make it halfway before he hears Momijikawa calling his name.

“Haruka, there you are!”

“Let me guess, you need me for the borrowing race?”

“Good, no need for explanations.” He grabs onto Haruka’s wrist and urges him along. “Let’s get going!”

Hiragi just straight up laughs in his face. “Oh man, it must be tough being so popular.”

Momijikawa looks between the two of them, clearly confused. Hiragi takes the slip of paper from the younger boy as he starts to explain the situation. “You’re the fourth person to use Sakura for the borrowing race.”

“Fourth?! Huh, Yuzuriha warned me that you were popular…”

“I really don’t think popularity’s got anything to do with this…” Haruka mutters. Hiragi just keeps laughing and even Momijikawa sends a wry smile his way. He sighs as he waits for Hiragi to show him the prompt. Maybe it was something like “someone that likes to eat”? 

Hiragi nods as he reads the paper. “Yeah, that definitely checks out.” He turns the slip of paper around.

“SOMEONE YOU CAN’T HELP BUT SPOIL.” 

“Huh?! That doesn’t make any sense!”

“No, I get it,” Hiragi replies with a solemn nod. “It’s the stray kitten vibes he gives off, right?”

“Exactly. I knew you’d understand, Hiragi-san.”

What is with everyone comparing Haruka to cats?!

“Thanks for the assist, Haruka! I’ll see you later!” Momijikawa gives Haruka a pat on the back before running off.

Haruka heaves a weary sigh. “Is there even any point in trying to go back and sit?”

Hiragi, the jerk, just laughs at him. Haruka has to remind himself that Hiragi is constantly in a state of stress on most days, so he swallows down he urge to flip him off and instead sends a glare his way before turning to leave.

Five steps in (yes, he counted) and he’s already hearing his name being called again.

“Sakura, hurry! Come with me!” Kaji yells, grabbing onto Haruka’s wrist and not waiting for a reply. With how much he’s been dragged around today, Haruka’s starting to suspect that he would have expended less energy if he’d actually participated in the borrowing race.

Hiragi meets them with another bemused smile. “Congratulations, Kaji. You’re now the fifth person to bring Sakura along for the borrowing race.”

“Fifth?!” Kaji turns to Sakura. “If it was gonna be like that, then you should have just signed up for the event itself.”

Haruka groans. “Don’t think I haven’t already thought about that.”

Hiragi hums as he reads the slip of paper Kaji hands him. He grins. “Look at you, acting like a real senpai and playing favorites.” He turns the slip of paper around before Haruka can ask what he means.

“MY FAVORITE UNDERCLASSMAN.”

Haruka feels his face flush again, but he feels a little better knowing that Kaji is doing the same. At least he’s not alone on it this time. Kaji grabs the piece of paper and runs off before Hiragi can (presumably) say anything to embarrass him further.

“While we’re on the subject,” Hiragi begins, “Sakura, who’s your favorite senpai?”

“Kaji,” Haruka replies without thinking. 

“Hear that, Kaji?! Feeling’s mutual!” 

Kaji turns back, still slightly red in the face, and gives Haruka a slight nod before running off to get his next prompt. 

“Hey Sakura, make sure you don’t share that information with Umemiya and Tsubaki. They’d probably cry if they found out they’re not your favorite senpai.”

Haruka nods wordlessly before he turns and, once again, attempts to leave. He walks, nobody stops him. He’s halfway there, still, nobody stops him. Maybe he can finally rest! He makes it back to the shaded area where Kiryu and Tsugeura are still seated. Both boys greet him with a hearty “Welcome back!” Tsugeura gives him a cup of ice water that Haruka downs gratefully.

Finally! He can finally rest. Haruka leans back against the palms of his hands, turning his head up to look at the sky. The sky is moving. Wait, why is the sky moving?!

“Sugi-chan?!”

“Sugishita-kun?!”

Haruka looks behind him and finds the back of Sugishita’s head and it finally dawns on him that he’s been hauled over the taller boy’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“Sugishita, what do you think you’re doing?!”

“Borrowing race,” is all he says in reply as if that explains everything…which, in fairness, it kind of does. Haruka doesn’t bother resisting as he lets Sugishita carry him the rest of the way. At least he’s spared from having to be physically dragged around this time. 

Once they arrive at their destination, Sugishita tries to drop Haruka to the ground, but ultimately fails thanks to his cat-like reflexes. He’s able to land on his feet before his face can meet the ground.

“Hey, watch it, ya jerk!”

Sugishita just grunts in reply as he hands his slip of paper over to Hiragi. The older boy smirks in Haruka’s direction as he unfolds the slip of paper. “See, I told you you were cat-like.”

Haruka does not deign that comment with a reply, instead finding himself wondering what Sugishita’s prompt could possibly be. Umemiya wrote all of the prompts, so he doubts it’s anything negative, but he can’t really think of anything positive either. Sugishita hates his guts, after all. He can’t imagine the taller boy picking him for something like “favorite classmate” or whatever.

Hiragi smirks as he reads the piece of paper. “Huh. Well, I can’t say that’s wholly unexpected. Alright, you pass.” But as Hiragi is about to turn the paper around, Sugishita grabs onto his wrist and stops him. He looks up at the other boy pleadingly, but Hiragi stands his ground.

“Sugishita, you know the rules. Umemiya himself was the one who put them in place.”

“Rules?” Haruka asks. “What rules?”

“If a participant of the borrowing race brings along another person to complete the prompt, we have to show them what the prompt says. Apparently, one of Umemiya’s younger siblings got into a fight during her Sports Festival because she wasn’t told the reason why she was picked. It turned out to be something like ’someone pretty’, but apparently the guy that had brought her along was too embarrassed to tell her, so she kept thinking he picked her for something bad. So long story short, this rule is in place to avoid any potential miscommunications. This is also why Umemiya himself is the one writing all the prompts. So with all that said,” Hiragi turns to look at Sugishita, “are you still gonna go against Umemiya’s rules?” Sugishita grimaces as he finally, begrudgingly, lets go of his arm. 

Sugishita turns to give Haruka his signature glare. “Just don’t read into it too much, alright?”

“Hah?! How else am I supposed to read it?!”

“That’s not what I— Ugh, never mind!”

Hiragi chuckles as he finally turns the slip of paper around.

“SOMEONE WITH A PRETTY SMILE.”

Haruka frowns. “That doesn’t make any sense. Sugishita must have read the prompt wrong. There are tons of other people that have better smiles than me.”

“Sakura does make a good point,” Hiragi asks with a rare, teasing lilt to his voice. “There are tons of other people here with pretty smiles. Why, pray tell, would you pick Sakura?”

“Besides, Sugishita hates me. There’s no way he’d pick me for a prompt like that.”

“You hear that, Sugishita? Sakura thinks you still hate him.”

Haruka looks up at Sugishita, expecting him to admit that he made a mistake, maybe even make a scathing comment about Haruka’s face, but instead he -- Well, there’s no other way to explain how the taller boy’s expression looks other than that he looks constipated.

“I don’t,” He starts, then takes a deep breath. “I don’t ha— ha—“ And then he punches himself in the face. Hard.

“Wha?!” Haruka exclaims, wide-eyed, because really, what?!

Sugishita runs away without explaining a thing, leaving a very flabbergasted Haruka behind.

“Kid just can’t be honest with his feelings,” Hiragi says with an amused laugh.

“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“I’m not gonna lie. I totally am.”

To Haruka’s immense relief, nobody else bothers him for the rest of the borrowing race, but he’s still feeling tired by the time the event is over. Thankfully, they have lunch scheduled next so he doesn’t have to worry about expending any more energy for a while.

“What did Sugi-chan need you for?” Kiryu asks as he scoots closer next to Haruka.

“He needed someone with a pretty smile,” Haruka says.

“HUH?!”

They all turn to find Nirei staring at them slack-jawed. 

“Nirei-chan? Isn’t the borrowing race still going on?”

“Huh?! Oh, yeah! Kiryu-san, can I borrow an earring?”

“Sure,” Kiryu says as he reaches for one of the earrings on his left ear. He hands it to Nirei, who accepts it gratefully. 

“Um, but before I go, Sakura-san, you said that Sugishita-san took you to fill a prompt for someone with a pretty smile? Did I hear that right?”

“I know, it’s weird right? Why would he drag a guy he hates for something like that?”

“Sakura-san, Sugishita doesn’t hate you! The truth is, Sugishita-san—“ Nirei tears his gaze away from Haruka for a brief second, eyes widening in horror "— is looking at me like I traveled back in time and personally offended his ancestors so I’ll shut up now!” Nirei quickly finishes. He thanks Kiryu once last time before running to where Hiragi is standing.

Haruka looks back to where Nirei had stared off earlier, but only sees Sugishita’s retreating back. Huh. What was that all about?

Just like during the thank you party after the war with Noroshi, there are several booths set up with food donated by the local shop keepers from Tonpu Market Street. Haruka can already feel himself salivating once the smells hit his nose. He notices his friends exchange amused smiles, but he’s too hungry to really care as he picks up a plate and starts going around. But Haruka himself doesn’t have to waste much time filling up his plate, as the local shopkeepers are more than happy to do it for him.

“Oh, Sakura, there you are! Here take some this!”

“You’re dong great out there, Sakura! Here, take some of this to fuel up!”

“You need protein, kiddo! Protein! Take some of this!”

By the time he’s finished making his rounds, Haruka’s plate is practically overflowing with food. He finds his friends sitting on a picnic blanket that Nirei had brought from home; under a big tree that offers ample amount of shade. 

“That’s an impressive plate,” Suo says with a knowing grin (what does he know? Too much, probably.)

“As expected of Sakura-chan,” Kiryu says, “he’s always been a favorite among the local shop keepers.”

Haruka’s face is stuffed with too much food for him to give a proper response, but he must be blushing again because his friends all just smile and laugh. 

(He thinks about the bento boxes that the kids from his previous schools ate from during past Sports Festivals. Thinks of the envy buried in the pit of his stomach as he watched them eat and laugh with their loving parents. He takes another bite of his food, looks around at the smiles and warmth radiating from his friends, and finds that this is enough. It’s more than enough.)

The rest of the Sports Festival goes well. Haruka wins every event he participates in, including the ball toss event. And while it’s not one of the more major events, the victory still makes Haruka’s heart swell as his teammates all converge on him and congratulate him. Saying that he’s amazing (he’s not a curse) and that they’re glad to have him on their team (he’s not a bad luck charm).

By the end, Haruka’s team ends up winning the most events. His neck feels heavy as Umemiya adds another gold medal to hang around it during the award ceremony. Haruka looks at the view from the podium. His parents are not present at the front — and he knows now why that was a dream that could never be possible. 

But he sees Umemiya beaming at him like a proud older brother. Sees his friends and classmates all cheering and chanting his name. Sees the townspeople of Makochi smiling brightly at him. And his heart feels full.

“So, how was your first Sports Festival at Furin High?” Umemiya asks.

“It was fun,” Haruka replies with a smile.

November

Haruka stares at the blackboard and looks at the options noted down by the class representatives.

“Okay,” the male class rep says, “we’ve noted down a cosplay cafe, a food booth, and a play. Let’s take a vote.”

Haruka doesn’t participate. His vote has never mattered. He stares out the window and tunes out the sounds of his classmates. By the time homeroom period ends, he doesn’t know what his class settled on and finds that he doesn’t particularly care.

On the days when his class preps for the event, he skips classes. He won’t be missed. By this point, he already as a reputation as a no good, hopeless delinquent. He instead spends his days wandering less busy streets and picking fights with punks that look at him wrong.

On the day of the cultural festival, he comes to school late. He ignores the sweet smells wafting from the food booths, keeping his hands in his pockets and his eyes straight ahead. He passes people wearing weird costumes and passing out flyers, paying them no mind. He ignores the chatter and laughter, the excitement that tends to accompany events such as this.

He pauses, briefly, at his classroom. It looks like his class had settled on a cosplay cafe. He looks over to the window to see his classmates all dressed up in costumes. There are some dressed as anime characters, others dressed as movie characters, and a few that are just wearing animal pajamas. Haruka scoffs and keeps moving until he makes it up to the school roof.

It is empty, like always. Haruka finds his usual spot, the one with just enough shade to shield him from the sun, and takes a nap. 

Like clockwork, he spends his cultural festival the same way in the next two years that follow. 

Now a teenager, he knows better than to want and yearn to be a part of a community that will never accept him.

“What about a maid cafe?” Nirei asks.

“Come on, Nirei-chan! Maid cafes are so cliche! We need to think bigger!” 

“Hm, that’s a shame. I would think that Sakura-kun wearing a maid dress would make for an aesthetically pleasing sight.”

Haruka bangs his head against the teacher’s table. “Ugh! How long is this gonna take?! Just pick something already!”

His class has been trying to agree on an event for the upcoming cultural festival for almost an hour now. Any longer and it might end up eating into their lunch break.

Kakiuchi raises his hand up. “What about a food stall?”

“Approved!” Haruka yells at the same time that Suo and Nirei both yell out “Denied!” Haruka turns on his vice captains.

“Hah?! Why not?!”

“I have no doubt that Sakura-kun could sell anything,” Suo begins, “but like Kiryu-kun says, that’s thinking too small. If we want to win the prize for most popular event, we need to really take all of your most appealing points into account.”

“Why just my appealing points, huh?”

“Because you’re cute,” Suo and Nirei both say at the same time. Did they rehearse this?

“Anyway,” Nirei says before Haruka can spontaneously combust on the spot, “I was thinking that maybe a play would be a good way to go?”

“Oh, I second that!” Anzai yells, raising his hand up excitedly. 

“Hm, that’s a little cliche too, but I can see it working,” Kiryu says with a solemn nod. “Especially if we really play up Sakura’s charm points.”

“That means he definitely has to be the lead, right?” Takanashi asks.

“Huh?! I can’t be the lead! I’ve never acted before! I’d just mess everything up!”

“That’s okay, Sakura-kun. That’s part of your gap moe appeal.”

Haruka stares at Suo, dumbfounded. “I feel like you’re not speaking Japanese anymore.”

“Isn’t gap moe that thing where you’re missing teeth?” 

“Tsuge-chan, that’s gap teeth…”

After much deliberation, it is ultimately decided that Class 1-1 will do a play with Haruka as the lead. It’s based loosely on the classic fairytale Little Red Riding Hood. Very loosely. Because instead of being a little girl that’s gifted a red hood from her sweet old grandmother, Little Red Sakura’s hood is stained red from the blood of his enemies. Haruka actually likes this change a lot and tells Nirei as such when he first gets his hands on the script. Nirei stammers and thanks him for the compliment.

Suo will play the big bad wolf, Tsugeura will play Little Red Sakura’s unnecessarily buff grandma, and Anzai will play the hunter. Kiryu is head of the costume department, Nirei is in charge of the script, and everyone else is either on the props team, the backgrounds team, or the costume team. Sugishita, somehow, gets roped into playing the world’s most disgruntled tree.

Preparing for the play ends up being a lot more fun than Haruka had expected. His co-stars are all very patient when helping him practice his lines, and practicing for the fight scenes feels very much like sparring. He also finds that he enjoys watching the others work. The way that they paint each background set with such care, how their fingers move with practiced ease as they work on costumes, the precision with which they create props out of nothing. It feels nice, to be a part of it all. To be included.

“Sakura-chan, could you come here and try on your costume?” 

Haruka takes the clothes offered to him and tries it on in the makeshift changing room that his classmates set up in a corner of the room. The outfit is nice and simple, consisting of a plain white dress shirt, brown shorts, and the iconic red hood topped off with a giant orange bow at the center. 

Haruka comes out of the changing room to "ooohhhhs" and "ahhhhhs".

“Hm. As expected, you look cute,” Kiryu says with a smug grin. “Does it fit okay?”

Haruka nods, shrinking a little at all the attention he’s getting.

“Oh, Sakura-kun! You look great!” Tsugeura exclaims, emerging from seemingly out of nowhere. He's wearing a sleeveless night gown that shows off his toned muscles, a pair of fake glasses, and a white haired wig.

“What am I looking at here?”

“Your sweet old grandma,” Suo says. Haruka turns to see him wearing a dapper suit, with a fake pair of wolf ears and tail being the only indication that he’s supposed to be a wolf.

“Why are you dressed like that? Shouldn’t you be in, like, a fur suit or something?”

“My, I didn’t expect Sakura-kun to be into that kind of thing!”

“What thing?”

“Why, a furry, of course.”

“What’s a furry?”

“Suo, do not answer that,” Anzai says, the only guy properly dressed as the character he’s portraying. “If you do, I swear I’m filling your desk with natto.”

“Bold words coming from someone playing a bit role.”

“I’m not playing a bit role! I actually have lines! If anyone’s playing a bit role, it’s Sugishita!” He points to Sugishita, fully dressed as a tree. He’s slumped against a wall, asleep.

“Do we even need a tree for this?” Haruka finally asks.

“Sakura-kun,” Suo says, laying a hand on Haruka’s shoulder, “Sugishita-kun was born to play that role. Let him have this.”

Haruka has butterflies in his stomach. That’s the term for when you’re nervous, right? He peeks through the curtains and sees the full room. There’s not a single empty seat. He sees too many familiar faces. Kotoha, Natsuki, and some of the kids from the orphanage are up front. Togame, Tomiyama, and Wanijima are somewhere in the middle, as are Shizuka, Nakamura, and Suzuri. He’s pretty sure that’s Endo standing at the very back. Who even invited him?!

“Sakura-san, you’re going to do great!” Nirei assures him for the umpteenth time.

“And remember, it’s okay to flub some lines,” Kiryu adds. “It’s actually pretty endearing when you do it. It adds to your gap moe appeal.”

“I still have no idea what that means.”

The lights turn on and the curtains part. “Don’t worry about it!” Kiryu exclaims as he pushes Haruka forward. “Just have fun!”

Haruka does end up having fun. The play is fun. Seeing the reactions of the audience and his friends is fun. And when they have down time, his friends take him around the school to check out other booths and events. People are constantly shoving food in Haruka’s hands, and when his friends aren’t offering to pay for it, the people behind the stalls are offering it to him free of charge. “It’s free advertising!” They’d insist. “You always make food look good when you eat it!” And if this had happened earlier in the year, Haruka might not have accepted it. But he’s now at a point where he just knows that this is how the people of Makochi are, no ulterior motives or hidden agendas in sight. 

Haruka ends up spotting more familiar faces throughout each showing as the day goes on. He sees the other first year captains and Momjikawa, Umemiya and the four kings, and at one point, he has to hold back his laughter when he sees Kaji and his vice captains dressed in full grim reaper gear at the front row during their play’s last showing (he’d heard that class 2-1 was doing a haunted house, but Haruka and his friends hadn’t checked it out due to Tsugeura’s innate fear of ghosts).

Haruka is tired by the day’s end. It felt like he was constantly on the move for the entire day. But it’s undoubtedly the most fun he’s ever had during a cultural festival and he finds himself already looking forward to next year’s festivities.

December

These are the things Haruka knows about Christmas: 

1) It originated as a religious holiday from the west.

2) People normally spend it with their families or romantic partners.

3) An old man named Santa Claus will give presents to any kid regardless of religious, cultural, or economic background so long as they have been good all year.

Haruka has never received a Christmas gift. Not from friends, not from family, and certainly not from Santa Claus. 

When he was younger, he used to write letters to Santa. He would always ask for just one thing: a family that would love him. After about two years of zero Christmas gifts, it dawns on him that even someone like Santa might have trouble giving such a thing to Haruka. So the years after that, he settles for simpler things. 

He considers asking for toys, but decides against it. He doesn’t necessarily need them and Santa might think him selfish for wanting to ask for such frivolous things. So instead, he asks for things that he needs, like new shoes that fit him comfortably or a warm blanket for the cold winter nights or winter clothes and accessories like scarves and beanies. But year after year, Haruka gets nothing. Not even a piece of coal.

Eventually, he stops writing letters. There’s no point, because no matter what Haruka does, Santa never seems to deem him good enough to receive a Christmas gift.

When Haruka returns to school after Christmas break, he over hears the other kids brag about whatever present they got from Santa Claus that year.

Mika shows off a Licca doll, a special limited version released just for the holiday season. She tells her friends that it was her reward for being extra good that year. Last month, Mika had pushed Haruka into a puddle and claimed that she had done so because he was in her way.

Ken shows off a picture of a cute puppy. He tells his friends that it was the only thing he asked for from Santa this year. A week before winter break, Ken had pulled Haruka’s hair so hard that a good clump of it had come off.

Shinji takes out a book signed by his favorite author. He tells his friends that Santa had put in a good word for him and even set up a meeting with the author. On the day before school let out for winter break, Shinji threw Haruka’s sneakers in a pond. 

If even bullies like that can still get presents from Santa, then it must be testament to how bad of a kid Haruka must be to have never gotten one. 

“Hey freak,” Ken says as he slams his hand against Haruka’s table. There’s still writing on the surface. Haruka had been too tired to clean it up when he arrived. “Betcha didn’t get anything from Santa this year, huh?”

“Of course he wouldn’t!” Mika says with a scoff. “Santa only gives gifts to good kids like us. Not freaks that don’t have any friends.”

Haruka wants to argue back that none of them are the textbook definition of good, but…But they all got gifts from Santa while Haruka didn’t. And who is he to argue against the judgement of someone like that?

“He’s not saying anything back,” Shinji sneers, “which means he knows we’re right.”

Haruka is tired. Normally, he can just tune out the teasing until the teacher walks in, but today, his patience is shorter than usual. He knows he’s giving the kids exactly what they want when he reacts. 

But something in him snaps.

He pushes this desk against Ken’s stomach and snatches Mika’s doll and rips its head off. He punches Shinji and pulls pages out of his beloved book. Any other kids that try to intervene get scratched and punched and kicked for their troubles. 

What’s the point in holding back if even Santa Claus thinks he’ll never be good enough?

He’s moved to a different home the next day. 

“Sakura-san, are you done helping Tsubaki-san out with the Christmas market?”

“Yeah, I just finished up,” Haruka says as his friends approach him. Huh? Why was Kaji with them? 

“We ran into Kaji-san when we were on our way to see you,” Suo supplies, as if reading Haruka’s mind. “We invited him to come with us since we’re all headed the same way.”

“Oh,” Haruka says before his eyes finally land on all of the wrapped presents that his friends are holding. “Did you guys go shopping?”

They all share a grin before they shove the presents in Haruka’s face at the same time.

“Wha— Huh?!”

“Merry Christmas!” They all exclaim.

“Wait, these are all for me?!” 

“Yup!” Kiryu says cheerily as he pushes a teddy bear into Haruka’s arms. “This is Kuma-chan. Make sure to give him a good home!”

“Sakura-san, here!” Nirei hands him a box of hand creams topped by a bright red bow. “I noticed how calloused your hands have been getting lately. I use this brand a lot myself, so I can gurantee that it will help with your dry skin!”

“Sakura-kun, take this!” Tsugeura hands him a wrapped box that’s surprisingly heavy. “It's gym equipment! I use the same ones at home, so I can attest to its effectiveness!”

Kaji places a wrapped jar atop the growing pile of gifts in Haruka’s arms. “Here. It’s candy. Since, y’know, you like sweets.”

Suo hand him another wrapped obx. “Here, Sakura-kun. They’re apples. In Chinese culture, gifting someone an apple acts as a gesture of safety, peace, and goodwill”.

Haruka has never gotten Christmas gifts before. He’s never gotten gifts in general, and now he has six in his arms. He looks at his friends, at their warm, smiling faces, and feels something in his heart stir. He swallows before mumbling out a quiet, but heartfelt, “thank you.” His friends all beam at him in response before guiding him to Cafe Pothos for a Christmas dinner with all of their closest friends.

As is often the case when Haruka hangs out with his friends, the whole affair is loud and bright and filled with the kind of warmth he’s come to associate with the people of Makochi. Umemiya, Kotoha, and Momijikawa had all worked together to whip up an impressive feast that Haruka’s sure to remember for years to come. Togame had brought a large tray of yakiniku that his grandfather had insisted he share with his friends. Suzuri and Shizuka had teamed up on the dessert front, bringing in a number of baked goodies and the quintessential Christmas cake.

They spend the rest of the night exchanging gifts, singing Christmas carols, and playing games until late into the night. By the time Haruka makes it home, both his belly and heart feel full. Not once does he think about Santa Claus, having long since lost hope of ever making it on his Nice List. But that’s okay. His hands tighten around the paper bag the holds all the presents he’d gotten from his friends. He’s gotten something much better.

Haruka wakes to the sounds of knocking on the door. That’s weird. His friends hadn’t made any plans to visit today. He gets up, not quite sure what to expect. But when he opens the door, nobody is there. Instead, there is a wrapped present right at his door step. Haruka takes it and reads the card attached.

Dear Haruka,

I apologize for taking so long to give you a gift. This old man’s memory isn’t what it used to be! I know it’s not enough to make up for missing fifteen years’ worth of Christmases, but I hope that you’ll still be willing to accept this.

With love,

Santa Claus

Haruka’s eyes widen. He quickly looks around, but sees no signs of anyone around his apartment. He shuts the door, moving to sit on his futon and swiftly unwraps the present. Suddenly, he feels like a little kid again. Filled with joy, wonder, and whimsy.

His breath hitches. It’s a framed photo of his class after the final showing of their play from the cultural festival. They’re all smiling, doing goofy poses. and slinging their arms around each other. Haruka’s hands tighten around the frame. It’s perfect.

Below the steps to Haruka Sakura’s apartment, two figures lay hidden from view.

“Do you think he’ll like it?” The blond one asks.

They pause as they hear the door creak open upstairs. Their captain peeks his head out. “U-um, thanks for the present Santa-san!” He bows his head slightly before retreating back into his apartment.

Suo and Nirei both have to cover their mouths with their hands to stifle their giggles. Really, their grade captain was just too endearing for words.

“I think he likes it,” Suo finally says.

January

Haruka spends the New Year’s holiday like he would any other day. Just surviving. As with the Obon holiday, the families he stays with often leave to spend the holiday with their relatives. But Haruka is nothing if not self-sufficient, having long since learned how to care for himself without the aid of others.

But unlike Obon, every store is closed during New Year's, so Haruka usually has to plan ahead and purchase cups of instant ramen the day before, lest he risk starvation. And that is his typical New Year’s meal. When the clock strikes twelve on New Year’s eve, Haruka is usually already asleep in bed. 

When he returns to school after winter break, he hears the other kids talk about the food they eat. Many of them brag about eating some big, fancy bento called Osechi. Others talk about eating some yummy noodles that were meant to represent long life. They talk about fireworks, kite flying, first shrine visits, fortune drawing, and playing games with their friends and family. Some of them received money from their relatives just for being kids. Others talked about exchanging New Year’s greeting cards. 

One kid goes around asking the others what their first dream of the year was. “My grandma says that the first dream of the year can tell you if the new year will be prosperous for you!” He exclaims. Haruka tries to remember what his first dream of the year was, but only recalls black static. He frowns. Well, if that represents what he should expect for the rest of the year, then it doesn’t sound like it’ll be any different from the previous ones.

Haruka buries his head into his arms and tries to tune the noise out. It’s like his classmates live in an entirely different reality from him. His New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day were both spent eating instant ramen alone in his room. But their holidays sound so much more bright and lively by comparison. 

He sighs into his arms and hopes that the teacher will come in soon.

Haruka rings the doorbell to Momijikawa’s apartment. He hears footsteps before the door swings open, revealing his friend’s smiling face.

“Hey, Haruka! Glad you could make it.”

“Y-yeah.”

Haruka toes off his shoes at the gekkan before following Momijikawa inside. He makes a beeline for the kotatsu and settles himself in before he remembers his manners. 

“D’you need any help with dinner?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Momijikawa yells from the kitchen. “Already got everything set. Just need to heat ‘em up.” He comes out and moves to join Haruka at the kotatsu and turns on the TV. They’re advertising some live singing contest. 

“That show used to be my grandma’s favorite. She would always make bets over who would win.” He peels an orange and offers a slice to Haruka, who accepts it gratefully.

“Was she usually right?”

“Ninety-eight percent of the time.”

“That’s a pretty high success rate.”

Momijikawa chuckles. “It is.”

They have dinner about an hour later and spend the rest of the night watching that singing competition Momijikawa had talked about. They both make a guess as to who would win, but it’s Momijikawa that ends up getting it right. 

“I guess I inherited some of my grandma’s intuition,” he says as he turns to give a fond look at where her urn sits.

When midnight strikes, both boys greet each other a happy new year before agreeing to go to bed. They have to wake up early the next day to meet up with the other guys and watch the first sunrise of the year. 

“Hey, Momijikawa,” Haruka starts once they’re both settled in bed, “thanks for having me over.”

“Thanks for coming over,” Momjikawa replies. “I honestly wasn’t really looking forward to the first new year without my grandma, but having you around helped a lot. Sorry we really didn’t do much.”

“Are you kidding me? You cooked an awesome meal, we watched that singing contest, and I got to take a nap in the kotatsu again! It’s the most fun New Year’s Eve I’ve ever had.” To be fair, the bar was pretty low there, since all of Haruka’s previous New Years were spent holed up alone in his room. But he’s still being very genuine when he says this.

Momijikawa laughs. “Man, I keep telling you to stop falling asleep at the kotatsu! You’ll catch a cold!”

“If humans weren’t meant to sleep in the kotatsu, then they shouldn’t be built to be so comfy!”

“Hm. Fair point. Hey, we should really go to sleep soon. Otherwise I might end up having to carry you to the overlook.”

“Do not.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Fine! Fine! I’m sleeping!”

Haruka dreams that night. He dreams that he is on Mt. Fuji watching the first sunrise with his friends. A hawk swoops by and offers them eggplants. Haruka tries to chuck the eggplants off the mountain, but Nirei keeps begging him not to because they’re symbolic of an auspicious year or whatever. 

He wakes with a start to the sound of a beeping alarm and Momijikawa shaking him awake. 

“Haruka, c’mon. We gotta get moving.”

“Mnnnn…”

“Get up or I will carry you.”

“Uggggghhhh, I’m up.”

They meet up with the others at an overlook a few minutes’ walk from Momijikawa’s apartment. They all greet each other a happy new year, with Nirei and Tsugeura exhibiting an enviable amount of energy despite the early hour. 

They chat and exchange pleasantries for a bit. Azusawa comes from a big family and had spent most of the evening wrangling his younger cousins. Kunugi complained about how all of his relatives kept poking fun at his height (“What’s wrong with them?! I’m obviously still growing!”). Yuzuriha kept insisting that nobody would care about what he did on New Year’s Eve, but admitted that he did enjoy watching the same singing program that Momijikawa and Haruka had watched.

Kiryu had spent a peaceful New Year’s Eve with his sister just watching TV and eating takeout. Nirei went to the cinema with his family to watch some new Hollywood film. Tsugeura had apparently tried to outrun the setting sun. Nobody asked how this was possible (Nirei had tried, but Suo quickly put a hand over the blond’s mouth before he could say anything). Suo claimed to have spent a quiet night meditating and reflecting on the new year. 

All chatter comes to a halt as the rising sun comes into the view. This is the first time Haruka’s ever watched the sun rise. He used to hate mornings. Used to hate the light that it would bring. How it would make all of his imperfections look brighter and clearer.

He finds that he really likes the sun now.

February 

Haruka is twelve years old when he gets his first love letter. He finds it in his shoe locker. It’s signed from a girl from his class named Emi. In the letter, she asks him to meet her behind the gymnasium after school. She says that she wants to give him chocolate for Valentine’s Day and won’t he please hear what she has to say? When he gets to his classroom, he locks eyes with the girl, who smiles and waves at him shyly while her friends giggle behind her.

Haruka follows the note’s instructions, but he does not wait behind the gymnasium. He knows better by now. Instead, he hides himself behind the bushes not far from the appointed meeting place. Emi is there, holding a heart-shaped box behind her back. She looks around, eyelashes fluttering, and for the briefest of moments, Haruka thinks that she may have been genuine. That he may have judged her too soon even though he hardly knows her.

But then Emi’s friends come out of the gym to join her. 

“He’s not here yet?” One of her friends asks.

Emi shakes her head and lets out a huff. “You think he figured out that it was a prank?”

Haruka’s heart drops. He doesn’t know why. He shouldn’t be surprised. He had expected this. That’s why he chose to hide behind the bushes in the first place. 

“If he’s still not here yet, then most likey,” another girl says. “Well, I guess he’s probably gotten tons of fake love letters before. Not really that surprising, when you think about it.” And it’s then that Haruka notices that she’s holding a phone with the recording app open. 

“Aw, man!” Emi exclaims, tossing the heart-shaped box to the ground. The cover falls off, revealing pebbles crudely painted to look like chocolates. “And I was really looking forward to uploading this prank video on my Tik Tok!”

“Should I call Daichi and the others and let them know the prank’s off?” Another one of Emi’s friends asks. 

Emi waves a hand dismissively. “Yeah, just call ‘em. They can dump the water in the bathroom or something.”

They start to walk away then, with Emi sullenly complaining about not getting the content she wanted to record the whole time. As they retreat, Haruka slumps against a nearby tree. He’s really glad he thought to doubt the love letter. Every single family that had taken him in were right. There was no way any person could ever love a freak like him.

He brings his knees up to his chest and rests his forehead against them. He knows this. He’s always known this.

So why did it always still hurt so much?

“Hey, who’s that?” Anzai asks. Haruka follows his gaze to find a girl wearing an unfamiliar school uniform waiting by the school gates. She’s fiddling with a heart shaped box that she keeps close to her chest. 

“You think she’s someone’s girlfriend?” Kakiuchi asks.

“Not mine,” Takanashi says as he smugly takes a box of chocolates out of his bag. “Already got chocolates from my girlfriend this morning.”

Kurita elbows him in the ribs. “Dude, we get it. You have a girlfriend. Ya don’t have to keep rubbing it in!”

“How virtuous of her to come all the way here to deliver chocolates!” Tsugeura exclaims. 

“Maybe she’s someone’s fan?” Nirei takes his notebook out and starts flipping through pages. “I’m pretty sure Kiryu-san and Suo-san are the most popular guys in our school, but she could be a fan of Umemiya-san’s or Hiragi-san’s!”

Kiryu hums as he digs into his bag. “I don’t know if I have any more room for chocolate…”

“I’m not too fond of accepting Valentine’s chocolate myself,” Suo adds. “Unless they’re the obligatory kind.”

“Oh, boo-hoo!” Anzai wails with a frown. “Must be tough for popular guys like you!”

“Anzai-san, didn’t you receive chocolate, too?”

“Yeah, but they were all friendship chocolate!” Anzai flops dramatically against Haruka’s back. “Another year without any homemade chocolate! Sakura, comfort me!”

“Hey, get off! You’re heavy!”

“C’mon, Anzai,” Kakiuchi says as he starts to peel Anzai off Haruka’s back. “Quit bothering Sakura. Besides, you always have next year!”

“I don’t want to hear that from Mr. Cougar Slayer! How does it feel getting chocolates from married women and ruining marriages, huh?!”

“Not all of them are married!”

“HOMEWRECKER!”

“For the love of—!” Haruka reaches into his bag and shoves a bag of chocolates in Anzai’s face.

“What?! Sakura, do you have feelings for me?!”

Haruka feels himself flush. “Of course not! They’re friendship chocolate! I already gave some to the other guys! I just haven’t had the chance to give you one, yet. Sorry it ain’t from a cute girl.”

“No, don’t be sorry Sakura. I will treasure this.”

“Just eat ‘em like a normal person, will ya?”

“U-um, excuse me!” Haruka turns to find the girl standing in front of him. Huh? When did she move? Haruka must have been really distracted if he’s only noticing the girl now. 

“Yeah? What do you need?” If she’s looking for someone, he’s surprised she’d think to ask him. He’d think she’d go for someone that looks less confrontational, like Nirei or Kiryu.

“U-um, this is for you!” She extends her hands forward, all but shoving the box of chocolates in Haruka’s face. “I don’t know if you remember, but you saved me from some creeps that were harassing me the other day. A-anyway, I’ve been wanting to thank you for a while, so please accept this!”

“Huh? Oh, thanks,” Haruka says as he takes the box. The girl nervously twiddles with her fingers, head bowed as a slight blush creeps across her cheeks. “A-and, um, I just wanted you to know that I thought you looked really cool that day. You were so strong and gallant, like a hero from a shoujo manga!”

“Um, thank you?”

The girl smiles brightly at him, satisfied after saying her piece. “A-anyway, like I said, that’s just a thank you gift! You don’t have to get me anything for White Day!” With that, she bows before quickly running off. It’s then that Haruka finally notices two other girls wearing matching uniforms waiting by the gates. They smile and giggle amongst each other before they finally leave school grounds.

“S-S-Sakura-san received homemade chocolate! That’s basically a confession, right?!”

Kiryu frowns. “Hm…This kind of feels like when an idol you’ve been supporting the whole time suddenly gets super popular, and you’re just, like, where did all you people come from? You know what I mean?”

Haruka frowns, because no, he doesn’t know what that means. But he must have missed that memo because the rest of his friends are all nodding in agreement.

“Yeah, I get it,” Nirei says. “It’s like, I was a fan of ‘em before it was cool, that kinda thing, right?”

“Yes, that’s it exactly, Nirei-chan!”

Haruka opens the box, having decided to give up on deciphering his friends’ ongoing conversation, and takes one out. Then he crushes it between his thumb and forefinger.

“Huh. So it’s real chocolate.”

“What were you expecting it to be?!” Nirei exclaims, eyes going wide in surprise.

“I dunno, pebbles?”

“Sakura-chan, come on, who’d ever give pebbles as chocolates?”

Haruka shrugs his shoulders as he closes the box. “Back in 6th grade, there was this girl in my class that tried to do that.”

It is quiet for a moment, and Haruka feels like he’s somehow said the wrong thing. He looks around at his friends’ faces, and it’s the first time in a while that he’s seen them so upset. And then it hits him. They’re upset for him. Just like on that day when he told everyone about his past on the roof top.

Haruka sighs as he rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly. “Listen, it’s fine. I didn’t fall for it. As soon as I saw the note, I knew it was a prank. She never even got to give me the fake chocolates. I only found out because I hid behind some bushes in case…well, in case her confession turned out to be genuine. It’s a good thing I knew better by then,” he finishes with a laugh.

He turns to look at his friends and they still look upset. Okay, gotta do damage control.

“Look, you guys don’t gotta keep frowning like that, okay? I know I look weird and—“

“Sakura-san, how many times do we have to tell you, you don’t look weird!” 

“Alright everyone, let’s gather around!” Suo yells, clapping his hands together. “We’re doing another Circle of Praise for Sakura-kun!”

“N-no!” Haruka exclaims, face turning beet red as he shoves the chocolates into his bag and tries to make a hasty retreat. “Absolutely not! I am not going through that again!”

But Haruka’s evil, traitorous vice captains both grab onto his arms with a vice-like grip and haul him backwards.

“Now, now, Sakura-kun. This is all for your sake.”

“No, it’s not! You just like seeing me embarrassed, you sadist!”

“Oh, that’s a big word.”

“Stuff it.”

“Guys, please,” Nirei says as he leads Haruka to the center of the circle. Haruka feels his face get hot as the other students still lingering about all pause to gawk at them. 

“Alright then!” Nirei yells out. “You all know how this goes! We all take turns saying what we like most about Sakura-san! I’ll go first! He’s strong!”

“Clap! Clap!” They all shout in unison as they clap their hands together like they’re a group of grade schoolers on a field trip.

“He’s cute!” Suo says without an ounce of shame.

“Clap! Clap!”

“He has good virtues!” Tsugeura yells, loud enough that Haruka swears he hears an echo reverberate across the courtyard.

“Clap! Clap!”

“His eyes and hair are pretty!” 

“Hey, Kiryu! That’s cheating!” Anzai exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger in the other boy’s direction. “We’re only supposed to say one thing we like about Sakura!”

“What’s with all the yelling?!” Kunugi yells. And great, now students from other classes are approaching them.

“Dude, you’re yelling too,” Momijikawa says before turning to give Haruka a bemused look. “What have you been roped into this time?”

“We’re doing the Circle of Praise!” Nirei explains a little too excitedly. “It’s where we all take turns saying what we like most about Sakura-san! Would you all like to join us?”

“HAH?! No, we’re done here! I’m going ho—“

But Momijikawa, the traitor, grabs onto Haruka’s arm and tugs him back in place. “This sounds like fun, I’m in.”

“Oh, me too!” Azusawa yells excitedly.

“Well, if everyone else is doing it,” Kunugi says with a huff.

“U-um, I don’t think I have any right to join in…” Yuzuriha starts to back away, but his vice captains drag him back and force him into the circle. 

“Alright, who’s turn is it?” Kakiuchi asks.

“I’ll go,” Momijikawa volunteers as he finally lets go of Haruka’s arm and moves to join everyone else. “I like his smile.”

“Hey, no fair! It was my turn!” Anzai shouts with a childish stomp of his foot.

“Oh, sorry,” Momijkawa says, not sounding apologetic in the slightest. “But I call dibs on Haruka’s smile.”

“What?! You can’t call dibs!”

“Can too.”

“Ohhhh! This looks fun!” Umemiya’s boisterous voice cuts through Momijikawa and Anzai’s argument, and the pit in Haruka’s stomach grows as he sees Tsubakino, Hiragi, and Kaji come up to their increasingly big circle.

“Are you guys doing the Circle of Praise again?! I want in!”

“Oh! Oh! Me too!” Tsubakino raises his hands up excitedly. “I missed out last time! Please tell me no one’s called Sakura cute yet!”

“Sorry, Tsubaki-san,” Suo says, “I’ve already done that.”

“Oh, boo.”

“Eh, I got time to spare,” Hiragi says with an easygoing grin. “What about you, Kaji? You in?”

Kaji takes a lollipop out of his mouth and shrugs. “Sure.”

Haruka thinks about bolting, but he knows that there’s no way any of these guys will let him go now, especially with the upperclassmen thrown into the mix.

And so Haruka spends the rest of his Valentine’s Day with his face buried in his hands as his friends all take turns yelling out what they like most about him. It’s truly a miracle that he doesn’t spontaneously combust by the end of the day. 

March

It is his last day of being a middle school student and Haruka is hating every second of it. He had considered skipping his graduation ceremony entirely, but a part of him had still wanted some kind of proof that he’d survived all three years of this hell hole. But now he’s starting to wonder if it’s all worth it. He hates all the stares he gets. Hates having to sit on a rigid metal chair for hours. Hates the long, drawling speeches that are filled with nothing but empty platitudes. 

In the midst of all the boring speeches, Haruka finds himself thinking about what he’ll do after he graduates from high school. Does he even have a future? His looks alone would make it difficult for him to enter the workforce, and even if that weren’t an issue, he’s sure that his abysmal grades would limit the kind of jobs he could apply for. Pursuing a higher level of education is also out of the question. Never mind having to figure out how to pay off the tuition, he’s pretty sure he’s not smart enough to even pass any of the entrance exams.

He looks down at his lap and frowns. There’s really nothing much for him out there, huh?

He hears the student council president wrap up her speech, and everyone stands up to applaud her. Everyone except Haruka. He hadn’t heard her say anything he thought was worth applauding. He gets some dirty looks for refusing to stand and clap, but he ignores it. He’s gotten pretty good at doing that over the years.

When they start calling out names and handing out diplomas, Haruka tries not to look at all the proud parents taking pictures of their beloved children and clapping their hands excitedly when they walk onstage. Nobody has come for him, as is always the case. When his name is called, nobody claps. He is met with harsh, judgmental stares. Angry whispers and gossip. When the principal gives Haruka his diploma, he gives him a hard look, but says nothing. Haruka snatches it harshly from his hands with a fierce glare.

When he leaves the stage, he doesn’t return to his seat. He keeps walking until he makes it to the exit.

“Hey! Sakura!” He hears his homeroom teacher yell. “We’re not done yet! You’re not supposed to leave until the ceremony’s over!”

“Just let him go,” another teacher says, “he’s not your problem anymore.”

Haruka exits the building and feels like he can finally breathe for the first time. That’s right, he isn’t their problem anymore. He’s about to become Furin High’s problem.

The graduation ceremony hasn’t even started yet, but Haruka can already hear Nirei sniffling next to him. 

“You know most of them aren’t even leaving town, right?” Haruka points out. 

“I-I know,” Nirei says between sniffles, “but it’ll still feel weird not seeing them at school anymore.”

“It’s a shame none of them repeated a year,” Suo comments from Haruka’s other side. 

“Suo, can you not?”

Their banter is silenced by the sound of an all too familiar voice, one that Haruka has grown used to hearing every morning over the school’s speakers. “Good morning everyone!” Umemiya exclaims from atop the stage. “This will be my final morning announcement, so make sure to listen well!”

Umemiya talks about how proud he is of what Bofurin has become since he took over as the leader. He talks about how he’s come to view every member of the student body as a member of his family and adds that he would have liked to acknowledged each and every one of them individually if he had been granted the time, but Hiragi wouldn’t let him. (“Hey! Don’t make me out to be the bad guy here!” Hiragi had yelled back). He tells them that he knows they’ll continue to uphold Bofurin’s legacy, that he trusts that they’ll continue to protect the town in his place (Nirei starts full on bawling at this point and Haruka has surrendered his arm to be used as his friend's makeshift handkerchief). 

“With all that said, I’d like to take this time to have you all welcome my successor onto the stage: Haruka Sakura!”

There are cheers and applause, but Haruka doesn’t register any of that. He already knew he’d be succeeding Umemiya, they had a long talk about it a month ago, but he was not told that he would have to say anything during the graduation ceremony!

“Nire-kun, you need to let Sakura-kun go.”

“Noooo! I don’t want to lose Sakura-san, too!”

Suo sighs. “I mean, you need to let him go up to the stage. Umemiya-san’s waiting.”

“O-oh. Right. Sorry,” Nirei quickly lets go of Haruka’s arm, but he kind of wishes he hadn’t. Haruka’s not much for public speaking, and he still hates being the center of attention in general, but— 

But Umemiya’s looking at him with that signature Proud Big Brother smile and every one else is looking expectantly at him, so he takes a breath and walks up to the stage. Umemiya immediately puts an arm around his shoulder and tugs him in closer. 

“Sakura, I’ve watched you grow into a fine leader over this past year. You’ve overcome so many trials, united us with gangs that used to be our rivals, and have been a constant driving force of change that has shaped our school into an even better version of itself. I’m proud to name you as the next leader of Bofurin.”

Haruka feels a lump form in his throat. He’s not gonna cry over this. He’s not. Umemiya just keeps beaming at him before he turns that bright smile onto the rest of the student body gathered in the audience. “I hope you all will continue to lend him your support in the same way that you have supported me!”

There’s a loud chorus of cheers and applause at that. People yelling both Umemiya and Haruka’s names. People whooping and stomping there feet excitedly. Smiles and laughter all around.

“We’re here for you, Sakura!”

“We won’t let you down, Umemiya-san!”

“Bofurin for life!”

The graduation ceremony carries on like normal, with Nirei sobbing and clinging unto Sakura’s arm harder every time a senior they’re familiar with comes up to accept their diploma. By the time the ceremony is over and done with, the right side of Haruka’s jacket is completely soaked through.

“I’m so sorry, Sakura-saaaaaan,” Nirei cries as he tries to fruitless dry the sleeve with his own jacket. 

“It’s fine,” Haruka says with a sigh as he takes the jacket off. “It’ll just dry off on its own.”

The three of them start walking to the auditorium’s exit when Sugishita abruptly stands in their way. Huh. His eyes look a little red. Had he been crying?

“Umemiya’s looking for you,” Sugishita says. 

“Which one of us is he looking for?” Suo asks in a tone that suggests that he already knows the answer. “You’ll have to be specific.”

Sugishita growls and grunts, but Suo doesn’t budge. It’s times like this that Haruka appreciates it when his friend is being provocative.

“Sakura,” Sugishita finally manages to say.

“There, now was that so hard?” Suo asks with a teasing smirk. Sugishita growls again before turning to leave.

“Guess I’ll head up the roof, then,” Haruka says. “You guys can go on ahead. I’ll catch up with you later.”

Suo and Nirei nod before moving to join the rest of their class. Haruka turns to leave, making his way up the steps for what could possibly be his final rooftop chat with Umemiya.

He finds Umemiya sitting on a bench staring at the view of the town from below. The older boy greets him before he even sits down.

“Sakura, you know I really meant what I said down there, right? I trust that you’ll take good care of the town in my stead.”

Haruka frowns. “You’re talking like that’s your final request or somethin’. It’s not like you’re leaving the town yourself.”

Umemiya huffs out a laugh. “No, I won’t be. I’ll still be around town, but things will be different. And I expect them to be different under your guidance.” He turns to look at Haruka, expression serious. Haruka finds himself sitting up a bit straighter on instinct. “Sakura, if you ever find yourself having trouble making a decision, I want you to think about what I’d do.”

Haruka nods mechanically.

“And then, I want you to do the complete opposite of what I’d do.”

“Huh?!”

Umemiya smiles. “You and I are very different people. And I expect our leadership styles to be very different, too. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You’ve brought a lot of good change since coming to this town, and I look forward to seeing how Bofurin continues to flourish under your leadership.” He reaches out and pats Haruka’s head. “I’m counting on you.”

Haruka’s eyes widen. He thinks about the friends he’s made, the relationships he’s forged, the family that he’s found. He thinks about the future…and finds that he can see a future for himself in this town. 

“I’ll make you proud,” Haruka says with a confident smirk.

“Oh, Sakura,” Umemiya says, and his voice sounds unbearably fond, “You already have.”

April

Haruka hates his birthday. He doesn’t get any birthday presents. Nobody sings for him. Nobody greets him or thanks him for being born. There are no cakes or celebrations of any kind. What’s worse, his birthday typically falls on the same day as the school opening ceremony, which means he has to deal with school assemblies and a plethora of new kids and adults to look down on his appearance.

And if that weren't bad enough, his birthday falls on the same day as April Fool’s Day. How fitting, he finds himself thinking sardonically, for someone like him to be born on such a day. Like his very existence was a joke in and of itself. 

After the opening ceremony for the new elementary school he had been transferred to finally ends, he walks back to the place that he is currently calling his home. He passes by kids taking pictures with their parents in front of the school. Past families that smile and pat their children and tell them how proud they are of them. Past whispers about his freakish appearance and how his own family must hate him if they didn’t even show up for his opening ceremony. 

And the whispers are right. His family hates him and his appearance is anything but normal. His hands tighten around the straps of his backpack as he hunches his shoulders and keeps walking with his head down. Don’t think about it. Don’t show weakness. Don’t give an opening. Just keep walking.

Eventually, he makes it past the gates, past the school grounds, and walks along a path filled with cherry blossom trees in full bloom. He looks up, gaze soaking in the sight in front of him. It’s pretty, he finds himself idly thinking. If he were as pretty as his namesake, he wonders how different his life would be. Would he have a family that loved him? Would his parents still be present in his life? Would he have friends? Would school actually be fun for him?

He stops himself. It is dangerous to want. He brings his head back down and keeps walking. He stops by the convenience store to purchase his dinner. He picks out a cup of instant ramen and very briefly considers treating himself for his birthday. He checks his remaining allowance and frowns. There won’t be enough left over to even buy a full chocolate bar. 

But then an idea strikes him. He goes to the candy aisle and finds the individually wrapped caramels. If he buys a plain onigiri, then he should still have enough left over for one piece of caramel. What’s more, caramels tend to take a while to melt in your mouth, so he’ll be able to really savor the flavor even if it’s just one piece! For the first time that day, he smiles to himself.

He checks out and walks the rest of the way home. When he gets there, there are no greetings. Which is fine, Haruka prefers this. Anytime he does get acknowledged by his guardians, its never for anything good. He heads straight to his room and quickly goes through his onigiri. Once that’s done, he takes out his special treat. 

He unwraps it carefully, feeling the candy’s sticky sensation against his fingers. He rarely ever gets to eat sugary treats, so he needs to make sure he savors this. He pops the candy in his mouth and lets it melt before he starts to chew slowly. It’s good. It’s very good. He wishes he had at least one more, but he’s satisfied with what he has.

And while he knows it is dangerous to want, a small part of him still hopes that one day, he’ll get to have a proper birthday celebration with people that love him. And then maybe, his birth will have meant something by then.

“Happy birthday, Sakura!” 

The park is enveloped by the sounds of loud party poppers and cheers. 

For the first time in his life, Haruka is celebrating his birthday surrounded by his friends under cherry blossom trees that are in full bloom. He’s been handed an endless stream of presents since his arrival, with Suo and Nirei never once leaving his side. 

Tomiyama sits atop Togame’s shoulders and keeps reaching for the falling petals. Sugishita is asleep on the grass, with some of the kids from Furin Gardens piling fallen cherry blossom petals on top of him. This does not seem to bother him in the slightest. Nakamura had brought a portable karaoke machine is now belting out a duet with Shizuka while Tsubakino and Suzuri offer back-up with a pair of matching tambourines. 

Umemiya is running around like a dog that’s been unleashed during his walk, offering to give his younger siblings rides on his back, with Hiragi yelling after him to “Stop being so loud! This is a public space!” Kaji remains immune to all the noise with his headphones on at full blast as he leans against a tree and idly pats a stray cat that has made a home in his lap. Anzai has Nagato in a headlock while Tsuchiya scolds them for roughhousing, but they’re all smiling and laughing so it must not be anything serious. Kiryu and Akari are braiding Natsuki and another little girl’s hair. Tsugeura is using a tree’s branch to do pull-ups. Kotoha and Momijikawa are in deep discussion over what looks to be differing opinions on omelette rice.

“You look happy, Sakura-kun,” Suo says. Haruka leans back against the picnic blanket, drinking in the sight of all his friends’ smiling faces. 

“That’s because I am.”

“That’s great, Sakura-san!” Nirei exclaims, scooting closer. “But don’t forget! There’s one more thing!”

“One more thing?”

“Here it is!” Umemiya exclaims, carrying a large cake decorated with pink cherry blossoms. He sets it down right in front of Haruka.

“Your vice captains made this cake especially for you!”

“Huh?!” Haruka feels heat rise to his cheeks as he turns to Suo and Nirei for answers. They both only smile and grin in response. 

“Happy birthday, Sakura-san!”

“Happy birthday, Sakura-kun!”

“O-ou. Thanks.”

“Now, go on!” Umemiya urges as he pushes the cake forward. “Blow out the candles and make a wish!”

Haruka thinks about it. He thinks of all his friends that surround him. He thinks of the little boy who used to think he was unwanted and useless. He thinks about how happy he is now, to have been born in this world and met all these wonderful people, despite all of the hardships that had led him up to this point. 

He has nothing more to wish for. Everything he’s ever wanted is right here.

He blows out the candles.