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Sunlight has never been as beautiful as this. It trails its delicate rays through his hair as though it finds him worthy of the comfort in it. Warmth balms the ache deep within his restless chest, swathing his skin in a golden glow. He raises a hand and holds it above him; when he twirls his fingers between the light, each sparkle carries peace within it. There’s something calm about it all. The attentive sun. The clear, ocean-blue sky. The chattering trees whispering to each other. It’s all so indescribably beautiful to him.
“Can we stay here forever?”
“Hmm?”
“I want to stay here, like this, forever.” Astarion closes his palm, enveloping the sun inside it. He waits a moment, then opens his hand to set it free. “I like it here, that’s all I’m saying.”
Fingers with warmth to rival the sun’s brush against his cheek, gentle and kind. They trace along his skin and reach for his hair, combing through it like Astarion is delicate. Like he’s ordinary.
Lazily, Astarion shifts to gaze upwards, meeting the soft eyes belonging to the hands cradling him. Bear hums quietly and nods, though it’s clear that he hasn’t been paying attention to anything Astarion has been saying. The elf huffs out a breathless laugh that finally snaps Bear’s back down to earth. Astarion regrets it when his hands pull away from him in order to reply.
[I’m sorry. What did you say?]
“Nothing of much value,” Astarion answers. “I wish to stay here, I said. It's no matter. I’m simply daydreaming.”
Bear’s lips twitch into an easy smile. [That sounds nice. Dreaming is fun]
“Quite.” He wiggles where he’s lying in Bear’s lap, causing the other man to grumble under his breath at the commotion. “Oh hush, you.”
[Stop it]
Astarion throws a weak glare up at Bear, then wiggles a little more just to be contrite. Bear responds by shoving an elbow in his face until Astarion finds the strength to bat him away.
“And here I was, thinking that the others would be the thing to disturb us,” Astarion drawls. “In the end, it’s you disturbing me.”
Bear feigns offense, a hand going to his chest for a second. [How dare you. I would never disturb anyone]
“You tried to knock me out just then,” Astarion pretends to argue. He can’t quite find it in himself to sound very annoyed, however, not when his brain feels like a pleasant soup of sunlight. “And you’re making me think far too hard. It’s very audacious of you.”
[What does that mean?]
“Audacious?”
[Yes]
Astarion’s lips thin as he thinks it over. “Oh, it’s… well…” He pauses, listening to the rustle of the oak tree that shields their toes from the sun. “Huh… wait, what are we talking about?”
Bear chuckles and pats Astarion’s hair, a fond look in his eyes. [I have no idea]
Sometimes Astarion doesn’t appreciate how gorgeous Bear is. He sees it now, with the gold sinking into the tiefling’s dark curls, the blonde ends of his hair turning reddened bronze and casting a halo around him. His orange eye burns, brilliant and hot, like a welcoming hearth during snowfall. The swirling ebony tattoo carved into Bear’s face looks the way summer feels; lazy and smooth.
And that godsdamned smile. Astarion wants to despise it. He wants to hate the softness of it, and the way Bear’s mouth ticks upwards on the left and how the skin around his eyes creases a little. There are tiny wrinkles there that Astarion hasn’t noticed until now, as though Bear has been laughing his entire life despite all his been through. It, unfortunately, makes him as beautiful as the sunshine.
“We don’t have to return, do we?” His voice cracks, pained by the very idea. “We deserve a little rest, don’t we?”
Bear’s eyes flick away down the hill, past the oak tree, then back again. [Shadowheart said we’ll take the day to relax]
“Yes,” Astarion says, “but I can guarantee something will go wrong. Orin will -”
[Asty]
The sign makes Astarion pause, blinking hard. The world turns blurry at the edges, and the corners of his eyes sting with tears he didn’t notice until now.
Bear leans down, shading him a little from the sun, and wipes a careful thumb across both of his cheeks. He hunches over to press a kiss to the tip of his nose and Astarion can’t help but laugh. He pokes Bear in the chest when the tiefling straightens, tutting like he’s disappointed.
“You’re distracting me from the inevitable gore and horrors that await us,” Astarion scolds lightly. "I need to complain about things, sweetheart."
[What a tragedy] Bear’s expression doesn’t suggest he’s that upset about it. [You’ll have to relax and enjoy the sun instead of being sad]
“I wasn’t being sad.”
[You were going to be]
Astarion rolls his eyes and fiddles with the corner of his blouse. “You need to be quieter.”
Bear snorts out a laugh and when he signs next, he exaggerates his movements and facial expressions. It’s as if he’s speaking to a particularly idiotic child. The cheek.
[I am always quiet, Asty] Bear says. [I don’t know if you noticed it, but I can’t get quieter]
“Wow,” Astarion intones dully, “thank you for that amazing insight.” Bear grins down at him as his body squirms like he’s kicking his feet happily against the grass. “I would surely wither away, thoughtless, without your profound knowledge.”
[Thank you] Bear cocks his head to the side. [No-one is smarter than me]
“Maybe Karlach is,” Astarion says, immediately switching to teasing. “She might have not read a book since secondary school, but I have no doubt her knowledge could compete with yours.”
Bear stares at him. He cocks his head to the opposite side. He pulls a face. He blinks. He blinks a little harder.
[What?]
“What?”
[Are you serious?]
Astarion nods. “She said it herself when speaking to Gale. I was surprised, I admit. Although… I suppose that she is rather thick-skulled.”
A pause.
Bear bursts into peels of laughter, his eyes squeezed shut as the sound reverberates through his entire body. Astarion squawks, indignant, when the harsh shaking jostles him. The elf sits upright and turns to scowl at the other man.
“What’s so funny? You’ve made my pillow uncomfortable from all your – darling, what is your problem?”
A harsh, hacking cough rips out of Bear’s lungs. Tears peel down his cheeks, his smile so wide and laughter so boisterous it looks like it hurts him. His breath wheezes loudly in and out of him like he’s trying to calm down but can’t. Astarion looks away before the laughter becomes infectious. Wrenching his gaze away causes an ache inside him – he hates that Bear’s face brings him comfort – yet the warmth of Bear’s existence continues to echo in his ears. Astarion runs a hand down his face to hide his smile.
“What now?” Astarion glances back at Bear, the tiefling still desperately trying to withhold his cackling. “Haven’t had enough fun yet?”
[Gale –] Bear heaves out several breaths, lips trembling around that (stupid) grin of his. [Gale was sad. Kay said she doesn’t read to distract Gale]
“Oh.” The words sink in. Astarion’s eyes go wide. “Oh!” A laugh bubbles from his lips, surprised. “She pretended not to be able to read properly so that Gale wouldn’t ponder on his own untimely death!”
[Yes]
“That’s – gods – that’s hilarious!”
Bear nods so hard he looks dizzy by the end of it. [I know. You thought she was telling the truth]
“No I did not,” Astarion scoffs.
[You did]
“Did not.”
[Yes]
“No.”
[Asty]
Astarion crosses his arms, pouting. “Okay, fine, maybe I did.”
Bear chuckles and swats away a passing bee. The tiny, merry insect buzzes as it flies off, then lands peacefully on a flower nearby. Astarion squints at it; he’d almost forgotten how bright everything is in the sunlight. He isn’t used to yellow bees and colourful flowers, not when the world was once shrouded with permanent darkness.
Bear signs something, making Astarion turn towards him again.
“Sorry?”
[Come here]
Astarion sighs, pretending to be aggravated, and clambers back over to the tiefling. He settles with his head in his lap once more, staring up at Bear and the endlessly blue sky above him.
“Bear…” The tiefling hums curiously. “It – that really wasn’t funny enough to be laughing so much.”
Bear smirks down at him. [That’s why it’s funny. You should know that unfunny things are funny]
“Right,” Astarion snickers, “of course.”
He knows this already. How could he possibly forget when Bear reminds him so often? The small things become amusing with him. A misplaced shoe. Salt instead of sugar. Anecdotes that make nobody but Bear dissolve into helpless laughter.
Astarion wishes for that laughter to be eternal, no matter how tiny the so-called jokes turns out to be. They both need something bright in their lives, and Astarion knows the source of that brightness in his world.
“I could stay here forever,” Astarion murmurs.
[You said that]
“What if I want to say it again? Is that so wrong? Everything's so peaceful, and I needn't think of anything bad.” He takes one of Bear's hands, and kisses the back of his knuckles. When Bear returns the kiss in the same way, Astarion beams up at him. "See? Sitting right here is good enough for me."
Bear makes a quiet, knowing sound as he takes back his hand. The tiefling looks across the hill, taking in each sunlit leaf and rosy flower. There are people near the bottom, talking amongst themselves and spreading gentle voices through the air like water down a stream.
[It’s pretty here]
Astarion doesn’t look away from Bear to see the beauty he speaks of. He doesn’t need to.
“Yes,” he whispers, “it’s wonderful.”