Chapter Text
It still felt unreal, even when Jimin entered the room with the number 205 on the second floor of the building with shared students rooms for the first time. The room that was going to be his home for the next months. In Seoul, which was hundreds of kilometers away from his hometown.
It was a dream coming true. For years, he’d anticipated the day he’d finally get to find out what it felt like to be a student, and here he was.
The room was of a moderate size, featuring the same interior twice. Two beds on opposite walls, two desks aligned in front of a huge window, and two wardrobes. The right side looked like someone was living there already while the left side was still empty—for now.
His roommate’s side was quite pretty, Jimin had to admit. Various posters on the wall, a collection of Mario universe figurines and plushies on top of the wardrobe, and pink bedsheets that made him chuckle as soon as he noticed them. The interior choice was already enough for Jimin to know that he’d love that guy.
Jimin closed the door after him, and with a smile he placed both suitcases in front of the bed. They were neatly sorted: one contained clothes and any other kind of stuff to wear. The other suitcase was his personal stuff.
Before unpacking, Jimin took a few pictures of the room, so that he could send them to his parents. They were worried sick now that he was so far away from home, all by himself, and insisted on getting at least some kind of information every now and then. They didn’t care that he was twenty-one already, he was still their little boy.
Since his roommate wasn’t here yet, Jimin played music from his phone while he concerned himself with the suitcases, half-dancing, half-working, and giving his side of the room a personality for the next hour. Clothes into the wardrobe, setting up bedsheets, study necessities on the desk, a stack of Polaroids he’d have to hang on the wall sooner or later. He finalized it by placing his two precious plushies next to the pillow, one which was almost as old as he was and the other he’d gotten on his 18th birthday.
He couldn’t wait to add more Polaroids with his friends from college to the collection. Sure, he’d have to make friends first, but he didn’t really worry about that anyway. College life meant adventures and new people, and Jimin was ready.
But for now, he had to concern himself with way less exciting things: ensuring his survival. It was late afternoon already and the last meal he had was in the early morning, right before leaving his family home. While he knew that the dorm had a shared kitchen for cooking and storing groceries, he didn’t really feel like working for a meal anymore. So he took his phone and searched up ‘food places near me’ to find something that sounded appealing to him at the very moment.
A sushi restaurant nearby. That sounded fantastic!
Jimin was busy at the desk, fighting with the zipper of his bag, when he heard the door unlock and open from the outside. It must be his roommate, Jimin concluded quickly. With a smile, he neglected his bag and turned on his heels, excited and a little nervous to meet the guy he was going to spend quite some time with.
The smile vanished when Jimin comprehended what was happening right in front of his eyes. Two people had entered, apparently, but all Jimin could see was the broad back of a blonde haired man. The second person was pressed against the wall by him, noises of messy kisses filling the room.
Now that was a first impression.
Jimin quickly collected himself and cleared his throat, trying to subtly let them know he was also here. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to hear him.
“Uhm…hey there!” Jimin tried, voice high-pitched and uncertain. He cleared his throat again, exhaling in relief when they finally became aware of his presence.
“Oh, shit!” The blonde haired jumped away, face hidden behind his hands.
To Jimin’s surprise, it was a second guy that was leaning against the wall. He spun around in record time, and Jimin could only watch him straighten up and run his hands over his torso to fix his clothes.
“You said he’s not here yet!” The blonde haired muttered. He was red up to his ears when he dropped his hands and slightly peeked at Jimin. A pair of thick-framed glasses was on his nose and piercings adorned his ears.
“He wasn’t earlier. How could I have known he’d arrive now??” The second guy with brown hair gave him a look before putting his attention on Jimin. The shock vanished from his face and turned into a smile as he stepped further into the room.
“Sorry, we didn’t mean to disturb your innocent eyes right off the bat. We’re not like that…usually,” he continued to explain, emphasized by a slight bow. “Seokjin. I’m the one who lives here-“ he pointed at the blonde haired, who was still in the back. “-and that’s Namjoon. He’s my boyfriend.”
At this point, Jimin was convinced that fate really loved him. A room that was easily accessible, in a dorm that was only a few minutes away from the campus area, and a gay roommate. A roommate that was going to understand him rather than judge!
“It’s really nice to meet you two! I’m Jimin!” he exclaimed, barely able to hold back his excitement. “I can already tell that we’re going to get along super well!” He gave them a smile, eyes shaping into crescents.
“You’re an energetic one, eh?” Seokjin chuckled, patting his shoulder.
“Today is just so awesome that I can’t help but be happy. At first, I was a little afraid, but it just keeps getting better! There’s absolutely nothing that could go wrong anymore!” Jimin blabbered around while Seokjin and Namjoon checked out his side of the room. He clearly noticed their gaze lingering on the plushies for a little while.
“I won’t occupy you any longer, yeah? I was about to go for dinner anyway. Have fun!” Jimin quickly got his bag from the desk, eager not to disturb them any longer when they were obviously about to be busy just now. He managed to reach the door, but before he could take his leave, he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.
“Hold up! Do you mind if we come with you? It’s totally fine if it’s supposed to be you-time. I just think it would be a good way to properly get to know each other.” Seokjin nodded towards the door, and Namjoon immediately walked up to his side with small steps. He wasn’t as red anymore, but still a little awkward.
“Are you sure? I’ve got the feeling you two had other plans just now,” Jimin pointed out, receiving a laugh from Seokjin in response.
“Oh, please! The mood is already down, and I’m way more curious about you right now.” Seokjin slipped through the doorway first. He took Namjoon with one hand, Jimin with the other, and dragged both through the corridor all the way to the main exit on the first floor.
Jimin decided to just accept it rather than arguing further. If they were already offering, then who was he to decline? He’d love to have dinner with someone else right away!
The two showed him all the important stuff around the campus as they made their way to the nearby sushi restaurant Jimin had picked. A shortcut to the bus stop and subway station, the fastest way to the campus area, a convenience store, and a cafe Seokjin claimed to be awesome. Jimin could tell that it was going to take a little while, but he’d eventually get used to his new surroundings. It was only a matter of time until that part of the city was going to be familiar to him.
For dinner, Seokjin was kind enough to treat them. Jimin wanted to argue at first, but he was shushed before he even spoke the first word.
“So, Jiminie. Where are you from? What’s your major?” Seokjin asked, brows raised in curiosity. He was sitting across from Jimin, Namjoon right next to him. A shared plate with sushi was settled between them while Jimin had his own.
“I’m from Busan—a beautiful city, really. And I’m here for modern dance,” Jimin replied. He almost drooled when he chewed the first piece of sushi.
It was a traditional Japanese restaurant, and the food showed. This one taste was enough for Jimin to know that he was going to be here often.
“A dancer! Yeah, you look like one,” Seokjin judged, a silly smirk on his face. “You’ve got that athletic body.”
“I appreciate it, Seokjin. I’ve been dancing since I was a little kid, actually.” Jimin played it off with a little chuckle, a little flattered by the compliment.
“Let’s quit the formalities right away. Just Jin is enough, yeah?” Jin squinted at him, and when Jimin nodded, he happily returned to his sushi. “I’m studying music, focus on education. Sixth semester.”
“I’m also studying music, but for production. I’m currently in the fourth semester,” Namjoon added, which was pretty much the first thing he said. Jimin had already noticed that he wasn’t as talkative and blunt as Jin was.
“Did you two meet here?” Jimin switched his gaze between them, finding them both nodding.
“Shortly after my first semester started, I accidentally dropped the entire content of my bag in the library. Jin was kind enough to help me pick everything up again. I treated him for lunch as a thank you. At the end, he asked me out on a proper date. I think it’s obvious that I agreed,” Namjoon explained, and the way he smiled made Jimin’s heart grow bigger.
“That’s so adorable!” Jimin squeaked, barely able to control his voice. He loved romance, and he loved hearing about cute getting to know each other stories.
“Geez, it’s already been two years! I can’t believe how fast time flies by. We’re having our anniversary next week.” Jin nudged Namjoon’s side and leaned in, as if to tell him something in private but still talking loud enough for Jimin to hear it as well. “You didn’t forget the date, right?” Jin glared at him, and Jimin couldn’t help but feel like that already happened.
“Promise, I didn’t!” Namjoon raised his hands in defense, which was enough for Jin’s features to relax again. He returned to sitting normally again, gaze flicking back to Jimin.
“What about you, Jiminie? Got a girlfriend—or boyfriend waiting for you in Busan? Or here in Seoul?” Genuine curiosity for gossip blazed in Jin’s eyes. It was too bad that Jimin didn’t have anything to offer.
“Unfortunately, I wasn’t invited to an apology-date-dinner yet.…I’m as single as one could possibly be.” Jimin dropped his head with a staged sigh. “I’m not really that lucky when it’s about love.”
“Hey, chin up! You’re in college now. Before you know what’s happening, you’re already surrounded by romance left and right!” Jin winked when Jimin raised his head again. “You’ll be getting your first trial tomorrow. Then you’ll see that it’s really easy here.”
“Trial?” Jimin tilted his head at him.
“There’s a college intern party. It’s always happening, two days before lectures start again. The host likes rituals. Joonie and I were planning on attending, and you’ll come with us!”
“Only if you’re a party-guy, of course. There’s no pressure,” Namjoon added, giving him a reassuring nod.
“I love parties! I’ll come with you,” Jimin decided right away, though his focus wouldn’t be finding romance. He wouldn’t turn away if it was to happen, but he wasn’t going to seek it. He wouldn’t want to ruin the party with expectations which might end up not happening.
“We’re going to be awesome roommates, I can feel it!” Jin exclaimed, and Jimin agreed by nodding heavily.
The three successfully finished their dinner together, and they spent the majority of time exchanging more information. Namjoon and Jin’s origins, their future plans (Jin wanted to become a music teacher, and Namjoon wanted to be a producer one day), their hobbies, favorite artists—a simple but entertaining conversation.
Afterwards, Namjoon headed off and the other two returned to their room. Jimin’s original plan was to still buy groceries, but he eventually decided to postpone it to the next day. Right now, spending more time with Jin and watching the movie he’d suggested sounded way more fun.
And just like that, Jimin’s first day in Seoul came to an end. He didn’t have any complaints. If anything, the day just left him with more excitement for the new part of his life that was about to come. New environment, new people—a new beginning.
He couldn’t wait for the adventures that were awaiting him.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
The next morning started off in the worst way possible. Instead of calmly waking up once his body had enough sleep, he snapped up from the sound of a way too loud alarm. It was Jin’s, Jimin could see him turn it off through half-lidded eyes. With a grunt, he turned back around and buried his face in the pillow.
“Seriously? Lectures haven’t even started!” Jimin muttered into his pillow, hands partially covering his ears to drown out the heavy footsteps of his roommate.
“I’ve got stuff to do anyway, silly. Semester break doesn’t mean no studying!” Jin argued back, seemingly amused by Jimin’s bothered act. “I have to study and rewind and all that stuff, y’know?”
“Mh-hm…have fun.”
Jimin kept his eyes closed, eagerly chasing after the sleep that still clung to him. He could feel it working. The outside world drifted away further and further as he slowly returned to his dreamy state.
“Joonie and I are going for breakfast first. Are you coming with us?” Jin asked, which ripped Jimin back to reality for a second time.
“I’m asleep, can’t you see that?” Jimin emphasized it by pressing his face even further into the pillow. There wasn’t anything that could get him out of bed right now, not even Jin’s offer.
The short moment of silence made Jimin believe that he was actually able to sleep a little longer. That thought vanished when he was caught off guard by a pillow getting thrown against his head. With a cry, he snapped his head and searched for Jin. He found him standing in the middle of the room, dressed in a matching pajama set, a teasing grin on his face.
“That wasn’t a question, Jiminie! Get up and have breakfast with us,” Jin insisted, a second pillow ready to be thrown in his hands.
“Absolutely not! I’ll have to get up early every day, starting next week. I will not waste my last two days!” Jimin raised the blanket and partially covered his face with it. “You two have fun, and I stay here.”
“You’re so lazy, and that as a dancer!” Jin threw the second pillow at him, and it made Jimin cry out in frustration.
“That’s force! You can’t force me to get up!” He took the pillow and threw it back. Much to his regret, it didn’t even hit the right direction. He pouted over his own failure while Jin just bursted into laughter.
“I’ll come back in ten minutes. And you better be awake by then!” Jin walked into the connected bathroom and closed the door after him without another word.
Jimin contemplated for a moment before unwillingly sitting up. His eyelids felt heavy, and he was convinced that he didn’t catch enough sleep yet, even when the clock already showed 10AM.
“You’re rude!” Jimin shouted as he pushed himself to his feet, aiming for the wardrobe.
“Come on, you’ll live!”
Jimin certainly wasn’t used to sharing his room with someone, given he never had to before. Since he was a kid, he always had his own room with his own alarm and own rules. He willingly agreed to moving into a shared room, but he had to get used to it anyway. And he had to discuss that damn alarm sound with Jin because the current one was unbearable.
Half an hour after being forced out of bed, Jimin found himself in the nearby convenience store, Jin and Namjoon next to him. They were having breakfast together, just like Jin had said, and shared their plans for the day. Namjoon and Jin were going to study together, and Jimin was going to take care of the remaining points on his to-do list. And in the evening, they’d go to the party together.
At first, Jimin wanted to head back to the dorm after their breakfast, but in the end, he decided to come with them because he couldn’t wait to see the campus anymore. So, while Jin and Namjoon went to study in the library, Jimin went on his personal adventure to check out the surroundings.
The campus was big, consisting of two major buildings in total. The main building was old already, though renovated by now. Old architecture, huge hallways that echoed with every step he took. This building contained the library, cafeteria, auditorium, rooms for instruments, and a couple of lecture halls.
The second building was only a few years old, modernized and full of technology. It was the building with all the practice rooms, a gym in the basement, and more lecture halls. Jimin had the feeling that he was going to spend most of his time inside this building.
Between those two buildings was the campus’ outside area. Many spots to sit and relax, a pretty fountain, and the main pathway leading to the parking lot.
He’d looked at many pictures before coming here, but they certainly weren’t able to convey the same feelings as seeing it in reality did. Jimin still couldn’t believe that he got accepted and was a student here from now on.
It felt unreal.
The remaining day passed by fairly quickly as well. Jimin went for groceries, bought a few other things he still needed, and properly checked out on the remaining dorm to get a proper impression of it.
The kitchen was used by every student that lived on the floor, so he was expected to put his name on everything that belonged to him. There was also a community room to hang out, which featured two couches, a table, and a TV.
Jimin even met one of the other students there and ended up talking for almost an hour with him. It turned out that he was also in his first semester and just as nervous and excited as Jimin was.
When the clock hit 7:30PM, Jimin was back in his room to get ready for the college intern party. He’d already taken a shower and styled his hair properly, so all that was left was an outfit.
“Let me see what we’ve got here,” Jin sing-sang, pushing Jimin away to get access to his wardrobe. Without a care, he went through all the clothes, and Jimin gladly let him. He'd love to see what Jin would put together for him.
“Damn, you’ve got nice stuff!” Jin pointed out after a minute, holding up a pair of baggy ripped jeans. “Do you care a lot about style?” Jin returned the jeans and continued to look through the stack of bottoms.
“Oh, I love fashion! My style is very important to me.” Jimin was quite proud of the clothes he had, which varied from baggy to tight and monochrome to colorful. He loved expressing himself with his clothes.
“You can gladly take something, if it catches your eye. Like, always,” Jimin added kindly. He was convinced that some of his stuff would look awesome on Jin, and he didn’t mind sharing at all.
“I think I’ve got something for you! It’s giving sexy, but not too exaggerated.” Jin smirked, holding up two pieces, one in each hand.
“You know what? I’ll go with it.” Jimin took the pieces from him, excitement arising as he changed into the new outfit. He hadn’t been to a party for a while already, and he couldn’t wait to experience his first college party.
By the time he’d fully changed, he quickly checked himself out in the full-body mirror in the bathroom. Jin was right, it did give sexy. A pair of tight leather pants, matched together with a white, loose button-up. The front was tucked into the band of the pants, and the top button was undone to show a little more of his neckline.
“Jin? You’re an awesome stylist!” Jimin encouraged as he walked out of the bathroom, finding Jin already done with his own outfit. He looked no less handsome.
“I know, I’m awesome!” Jin chuckled over himself. “And now let's go! Namjoon is already waiting!”
The two left the building together and walked up to Namjoon standing a few feet away from the main exit. He greeted Jin with a quick peck and Jimin with a kind nod, giving both of them kind compliments for their looks.
The trio made their way to the party location together: an apartment only a few minutes away from the campus. The host was in his last semester, as Jimin found out on their walk, and he loved planning and arranging parties. Only students were going to be there.
Upon arriving, Jimin was immediately dragged to the kitchen and offered a shot. He gladly took it, emptying the small glass together with Namjoon and Jin. They moved on with a drink mixed by Jin, taking it with them as they checked out on the remaining location.
A lot of people were present, up-beat music was playing, and everyone seemed like they were enjoying themselves. Small groups of friends, a few walking around alone, some even slightly moving along to the music.
Jimin had missed this, he really did. Back in Busan, none of his friends liked going to parties, so he barely even attended any. The music was fun, the people were relaxed, and the couple was amazing company. They made sure to never exclude him or accidentally leave him behind, given they knew he wasn’t familiar with anyone else.
The first actual interaction Jimin had with someone other than the couple was when he noticed another guy checking him out from the other side of the room. If the alcohol wasn’t messing with his comprehension, then it almost seemed like he was checking him out with interest.
That suspicion was confirmed when he ended up approaching Jimin. He was quite handsome, actually. They were the same height, but the guy was undoubtedly more muscular. Dark, short hair, neatly styled back.
He was damn pretty.
“Hey, there!” the guy said once he was in reach, a kind smile dancing on his lips. “I’m Christian! Could I offer you a drink?”
“Why, yes of course!” Jimin turned to Jin, quickly checking in with him by giving him a certain glance. Once Jin nodded, Jimin let Christian take his hand and guide him to the kitchen.
“I’m pretty sure you’ll like it. It’s my special drink.” Christian winked, holding a cup out for him. “What’s your name, handsome?”
“It’s Jimin.” He took the cup from him, a smile on his face as he raised it to his lips. He put every bit of willpower into not blushing already, just from that little compliment. It was difficult.
“Jimin…hm, a pretty name for a pretty boy,” Christian said, his voice a pitch lower. The sudden change made Jimin almost choke on the drink. He swallowed quickly, pleased by the sweet but also slightly bitter aftertaste.
They changed their location for a second time. They made their way to the corridor, where less people were around, so that they could have a proper conversation. Christian stood in front of him while Jimin calmly leaned against the wall, legs crossed. He made sure that the button-up was revealing as much as possible, knowing damn well how to play with his charme.
“So, Christian…what are you studying, mh?” Jimin asked, and he made sure to keep eye contact at all times. It was fairly easy, given he didn’t even want to take his eyes off of him.
“Photography. I’ve got an eye for beauty, y’know?” Christian replied with a charismatic smile.
“Mh-hm. I can tell.” Jimin raised the cup to his lips again, eyes narrowing slightly as he took a sip. “Thanks for the drink. It tastes fantastic.”
“I’m a man of my words.” Christian shrugged, and Jimin clearly noticed the way he took an almost invisible step closer.
“Oh, yeah? And what words do you have in mind to impress me?” Jimin leaned his head to the side, brows rising slightly.
The sudden hint of discomfort that began to settle wasn’t caused by Christian, even when Jimin didn’t have any other explanation at the very moment. Something aside from Christian felt off.
“Challening me, huh?” Christian smirked, and Jimin quickly dragged his attention back to him.
“Well, I gotta see what I can expect for the rest of the night, don’t I?” Jimin looked him up and down, hand reaching out to grab his shoulder. “Looks are approved already.”
Just before Jimin managed to forget about the strange feeling, he found himself succumbing to it instead. His gaze flicked to the corridor to their right, where he found a few other people, which wasn’t supposed to be strange at all. They were all busy by themselves and not even paying attention to them in any way.
“I’ll gladly impress you with my skills as well, pretty boy,” Christian murmured, which made Jimin turn back to him.
Like the experienced flirt he was, Jimin trailed up with his hand until he was able to place it on Christian’s neck. The tips of his fingers threaded through the strands on the back of his head, gaze flicking to his lips.
“I’ll be the judge of that.” Jimin straightened up and leaned in for the kiss they just indirectly agreed on. A second before he was able to close his eyes, his gaze flicked to their left.
And there, he seemed to find the cause of the strange feeling. A guy was standing at the far end of the corridor, a drink in his hand. The place was only lit dimly, which left Jimin unable to make out any details.
Before he could concern himself with it, he was stopped by Christian’s lips on his own. He closed his eyes, eventually, and tried hard to focus on the new sensation. Christian’s lips were soft, and a few seconds were already enough for Jimin to know that he was a good kisser. He even managed to properly return it for a moment, but then curiosity got the better of him.
Jimin pulled off, head snapping to the side to search for the strange man again. He’d taken a step closer to the light by now, and with the new angle Jimin was able to make out more of his features.
More chills ran down his spine the longer he looked at the man’s face. Sharp, cat-like eyes that pierced through him. Thin, soft lips that were slightly parted. Pointy nose, a pair of glasses settled on the bridge. A couple of piercings adorned his ears.
The alcohol was definitely starting to mess with his perception because it couldn’t possibly be reality. He had to be mixing him up right now. The person that Jimin was having in mind right now couldn’t possibly be here. And if he was, he sure as hell wouldn’t acknowledge him.
It was someone else.
Jimin turned back and pulled Christian in, claiming his lips for a second kiss that was supposed to distract his mind. It worked, at first. Jimin smoothly moved their lips together, letting himself get carried away by Christian’s hands that gripped his waist to pull him closer.
Much to his regret, the distraction didn’t last long. If anything, it got even worse because now Jimin couldn’t stop thinking about who it was that was staring at them. He pulled away for a second time, eyes snapping open and searching for Christian’s.
“You’re impressing me—hell, you are!” Jimin’s gaze flicked to the man to their left, who was still standing there. Those damn eyes were still focusing on him. “...but I feel like someone else isn’t impressed by us. Do you know who that is?” Jimin nodded to the left, and Christian’s gaze followed along right away.
Jimin never prayed as much as he did right now. One, for Christian to know who it was. And two, for Christian not to say the name. It had to be a misunderstanding, someone that might look a little too familiar.
“Oh. Yeah, I do. Though not personally,” Christian said, and when he turned back, Jimin could feel him tense up a little. “He’s one of the music students—my friend told me about him a few times. Min’s his last name. I don’t know his first name.”
It wasn’t necessary because Jimin knew it damn well.
In the gist of a second, all the air got sucked out of Jimin’s lungs and it felt like his heart momentarily stopped beating. His vision blurred, hand slipping off Christian’s neck.
It was impossible. It had to be the worst coincidence ever—someone who looked and was named exactly like him was here. It wasn’t him. It couldn’t be.
“Jimin, are you alright? Do you want me to tell him to be less of a creep?” Christian asked softly, but Jimin didn’t quite manage to reply—or even hear him in the first place.
Every bit of his mind and comprehension was consumed by Min Yoongi, standing to his left and looking at him.
Min Yoongi, who’d been his best friend for several years.
Min Yoongi, who’d moved to Japan when they were still in their teens.
Min Yoongi, who was supposed to be anywhere but his life right now.
Jimin gasped for air. The cup fell out of his hand when he turned on his heels, away from Yoongi and Christian. Before he knew what was happening, his feet were already carrying him through the corridor, away from the scene altogether. He only managed a little ‘need fresh air’ before heading to the right, through the living room towards the balcony he’d spotted earlier already.
Cold air hit his face as he stepped outside, sobering him up thoroughly. He steadied himself on the handrail, head dropping as he took a few deep inhales.
No matter how much Jimin tried to, he didn’t manage to make any sense out of it. He and Yoongi had never been supposed to see each other again. Their loss of contact back then was for good.
Yet here he was, getting confronted by his past shortly after celebrating the beginning of a new part of life.
Everything flashed past his mind. Their breaks together, hangouts after school, silly sleepovers, Yoongi’s features changing the older he got, Jimin’s feelings slowly turning from friendship to something more, the nights he spent crying because he knew it was unrequited, the nights he spent laughing when Yoongi was around, the night before Yoongi moved to Japan, Jimin’s stupid words, and the radio silence afterwards.
Min Yoongi had been a major part of his youth, his best friend for years, until Jimin ruined it with his stupid words.
Jimin squeezed his eyes shut, the music outweighed by his thoughts that were getting louder and louder. Out of despair, he dropped his head into his hands—as if it was going to help him.
Confessing his love all those years ago…Jimin had done it to move on. He knew Yoongi had never felt the same, so it seemed like the only option to get over it. And he did get over it.
But now that he was facing him again after all those years, it was nearly impossible not to feel like it all was coming back. The pain, the frustration, the futile hopes—it was overwhelming him all over again.
Jimin’s thoughts were interrupted by the balcony door opening. He really prayed that it was Christian, or maybe Jin or Namjoon who’d seen him run outside. Yet it wasn’t much of a surprise when Jimin turned on his heels and was met by those sharp eyes piercing through him, once again.
They were focused on his collarbones, just like they had always been. Jimin couldn’t remember a single time in which Yoongi had actually locked eyes with him.
Without a word, Jimin turned back around and steadied himself on the handrail again. His gaze lingered on the nightly scenery of Seoul ahead of them. Street lights glistening as small dots, the moon shining high up in the dark sky.
Two heavy steps, and Jimin could see Yoongi settling beside him. His hair caught his attention for a brief moment before he returned to the scenery. Dyed silver, more grown out than it used to be.
Yoongi had no goddamn business invading his personal space right now.
“Busan, Jimin…you said Busan,” Yoongi said dryly, his voice nearly a whisper. “Why are you here?”
Jimin swallowed hard. He let the words linger for a long moment, his gaze never leaving the specific dot of light in the great distance. His hands curled to strengthless fists on the handrail.
“To study. I’m here to study,” Jimin replied, fighting hard to even get a word out.
Yoongi’s presence was intense, and it left Jimin unable to think just one thought through. Every time he tried to, he was stopped by the reminder that Min Yoongi was standing next to him right now. In person. Jimin could see his hands in the corner of his view, smell his remarkable scent mixed together with a strong cologne and alcohol, and feel his eyes pierce through his side.
“Why here? There are hundreds of colleges. You can’t seriously still try to chase after me,” Yoongi scoffed, and it made Jimin snap his head to him. It was barely a surprise that Yoongi was already looking away once he managed to focus on him.
“Like I knew you’d be here! I certainly didn’t check the student’s register before applying,” Jimin argued back. “The college has a good reputation.” He rolled his eyes before turning away from Yoongi again, his fists clutching tighter.
The silence that followed was loud. Jimin simply continued to focus on the light, because it was all he could physically do. Even if he wanted to, he wouldn’t be able to straighten up and walk away. And it frustrated him.
It wasn’t fair that Yoongi still had such an effect on him after everything that happened.
After what felt like an eternity, Yoongi finally straightened up first. His hands disappeared from Jimin’s view, yet he could tell that he was still standing right next to him.
“I can’t have you in my life again, got it? You’re going to leave me alone,” Yoongi muttered. Then, the balcony door closed.
Even multiple seconds later, Jimin still didn’t dare to inhale again. He just stood there, staring at the dot like his life depended on it and white-knuckling his fists. Yoongi was gone, but it felt like his intimidating presence was still there.
So much for Jimin was going to enter a new stage of life. It had only been two days, and his past was already catching up to him. And ruining the entire party, including his silly flirt, on top of that.
I can’t have you in my life again.
Jimin understood it, but it hurt anyway. This man had been his crush, the person he’d looked up to, for years. And if it wasn’t for that, then they’d been best friends for nearly half a decade.
As Jimin stood there and stared at the dot of light, a singular tear left his eye and rolled down his cheek. The trail dried quickly, leaving behind an uncomfortable sensation.
A singular tear. That was the only one Jimin shed for him. He’d moved on after his stupid words back then, and he wasn’t going to let the cycle repeat itself.
He was going to leave Yoongi alone for good.
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MEMORY
Summer
Jimin stood in front of Yoongi, incapable of getting just a single word out, for multiple minutes already. He gave it his all, but every time he tried to speak, his throat just fully closed up.
Deciding to do this had been way easier than going through with it.
“Jiminie…what are you trying to say?” Yoongi asked for the tenth time, still gentle and patient despite already waiting on edge for minutes. “Usually, you don’t struggle when you talk to me.”
“It’s just-” Jimin hesitantly cleared his throat, as if it was going to help him.
It was now or never. He swore himself he wouldn’t chicken out this time, not when it was his last chance to say it in person. His last chance to look into Yoongi’s eyes together with the words, even if his gaze wasn’t met at all.
“Before you leave, I want you to know something-” Suddenly, Jimin couldn’t take looking into his eyes anymore, and so he dropped his gaze to the ground between them. “-don’t ask me when or how or why…but I’ve sort of- no, fully—that describes it better-” Jimin paused to frown over his own nonsense before raising his head again.
“I like you way, way more than a friend. Yoon, I-...I kinda love you.”
The dead silence that followed didn’t carry any relief, like Jimin had expected. He thought he’d feel so much better once he didn’t have to keep it a secret anymore…but rather than that, the silence was suffocating.
Yoongi just stood there, eyes wide as he stared at his collarbones. Jimin didn’t even know whether he was still breathing from how frozen in place he was. His shoulders were tense, spine steeled, and his hands were curling into weak fists.
“What are you talking about?” Yoongi managed after what felt like an eternity, voice only a breathless mumble. His gaze flicked up, only to immediately narrow to the ground. “You’re a guy, Jimin, and so am I. You can’t like me like that.”
Jimin tilted his head away, heat creeping into his cheeks at the total embarrassment.
“Look, we’ve been close friends for years. You were just getting ahead of yourself. You’re not in love with me.” Yoongi tried hard to remain calm and kind, but it didn’t convince Jimin at all. He clearly caught on the tension in his voice.
“I’m not getting ahead of myself. I know what I’m feeling, and-” Jimin wasn’t going to step back, even if Yoongi had just offered him the perfect excuse. Perhaps, it would be smarter since that feeling obviously wasn’t mutual, but he’d kept it to himself for long enough.
“-it’s different with you…always has been. I don’t feel like that around anyone but you. I’m one-hundred-percent confident when saying that I’m in love with you-”
“Shush!” Yoongi suddenly snapped, frowning deeply as he took a step away from him. “I’m literally moving to another country tomorrow. I came here to spend my last day with you making good memories. But you- you’re seriously using the last day to ruin everything?”
Yoon-”
“No! I’m not-” Yoongi took another step away from him, his frown deepening.
It was too much for Jimin to handle. He’d never seen Yoongi give him such an attitude before, let alone talk to him in such a cold and distant demeanor.
“I certainly don’t like you, Jimin!”
The statement hurt even more than the attitude itself. Jimin’s vision blurred as he fully raised his head, only to be met by the nastiest glare he ever witnessed.
Ouch.
“But Yoon…the way you act around me—I’m not imagining it. You-” Jimin didn’t know how to finish his sentence. He didn’t even know what he was trying to say in the first place. The glare he got in response made him lose the urge to talk anyway.
“The way I act? Do you mean like a friend?” Yoongi scoffed, cold and distant. “I’m not dealing with this, Jimin. It’s ridiculous, strange, and-...fuck no.” Yoongi spun around in an instant, his hand gripping the handle to push open the door. He was already out with one foot when he turned his head to look over his shoulder. The expression on his face made Jimin feel even more humiliated and embarrassed.
“Thanks for ruining my last day here in Busan. I didn’t have enough bullshit going on yet.”
The door slammed closed, and Jimin stayed behind. Alone. All that was left of him was a puddle of tears and shame. And pieces of his broken heart, scattered all around.
Before this day, Jimin had always believed that Yoongi didn't even possess the ability to be angry. Now, he knew that his sweet and kind best friend was pretty much capable of being the exact opposite.
A simple ‘sorry, I don’t feel the same’ would’ve done the job, too.
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