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“Shane?” Ilya asked.
Shane hummed in response but didn’t look up from his book. They were lying on the couch, and the setting sun was filtering in through the windows.
“Can we take a bath?” Ilya requested. It had been a long day for no particular reason, and all he wanted was the comfort of the warm water and his husband’s arms.
Shane looked up and smiled softly at his husband. “Yeah? That does sound nice. Will you feed Anya her dinner while I get it ready?”
Ilya nodded and leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on Shane’s lips. Shane smiled against the taller man’s lips, then pulled away. Ilya whined softly and felt his cheeks heat up.
“Go ahead. Come to the bathroom when you are finished. I’ll wait on you,” Shane said.
A few minutes later, Ilya was measuring out Anya’s fresh food. Shane had rolled his eyes when Ilya had bought it, but he insisted on only the best for their best girl. He added everything to her bowl and added a dried pig ear on top. As she ate, Ilya let his thoughts wander. Shane had had several meetings early that morning with local sponsors, and Ilya had woken up feeling a little hollow without his husband next to him. He had spent a little extra time in bed before convincing himself to go work out in their gym, and then stayed in the shower until his fingers pruned. He managed to eat a small breakfast, but not much else. His medication worked well, but sometimes the shadows it typically kept at bay crept up on him.
Shane had picked up on his mood the second he returned, and they had spent most of the day intertwined on the couch with Anya curled up between them. Ilya hadn’t talked much and was thankful for Shane’s steady presence. As the evening drew closer, Shane had gently asked to cook dinner together. Shane flipped through one of their many Russian cookbooks and landed on a favorite, haluski. It was heavy enough to be filling, but not so heavy that it would make Ilya feel weighed down. They had cooked mostly in silence. They had pressed the occasional kiss to each other's head, lips, shoulders, anywhere they could reach. Shane had cooked everything in the pan, and Ilya had stood behind him, holding him close. They ate in silence, and then, after cleaning up, got comfortable on the couch again.
Ilya was brought out of his thoughts by Anya nudging his leg with her snout. “All done, malyshka?” He asked gently. Sometimes he felt so much love for the small dog that it felt like his chest would explode, not unlike what he felt for Shane. “Come, I will let you out, and then you can go to bed,” he told her.
Ilya quickly let her out, then got her settled in one of her many beds with a small bone. He kissed her little head, then made his way to the bathroom.
The lights were dimmed, and Ilya smiled softly at Shane knowing him so well. His head often hurt when he got in moods like this. Shane was already naked and smiled when Ilya walked in. Their bathroom was slightly steamy and had the faint aroma of lavender. Ilya took a deep breath and glanced at the tub. It was filled with bubbles, and though Ilya couldn’t see, he was sure there was dissolved lavender Epsom in there as well. There was a small vanilla candle lit sitting on the small table they kept next to the tub as well. He smiled softly. “You spoil me,” he murmured, walking over and tucking his face in Shane’s neck. He felt some of the shadows retreat and clung to Shane a little tighter.
“Of course I do, that’s my job,” Shane responded, wrapping his arms around Ilya’s body. Ilya hummed and placed a few small kisses on his husband's neck. “Come on,” Shane said, patting Ilya’s hip. “Take your clothes off so we can get in. Do you want me to get in first or you?”
“You, I want you to hold me,” Ilya said immediately. Shane nodded and carefully slipped under the bubbles. Ilya undressed and tossed his dirty clothes into their hamper before taking Shane’s outstretched hand. He sank beneath the water and moaned softly as he got comfortable.
Shane sighed happily and pressed a kiss to the side of the taller man’s face. “I love you, Ilyusha,” he said softly, trailing his hands over Ilya’s arms.
Ilya made a soft noise and let his head fall back to rest on Shane’s chest. “I love you so much, Shanya. Thank you for taking care of me. I know I have not been very, uh, what is word, companionable, today,” he said, swallowing hard. Sometimes, on the days when speaking was hard, he felt guilty that Shane had to be around him, and although he never said those exact words out loud, he knew Shane knew.
Shane’s fingers briefly stopped their soft exploration, then started up again. “Ilya, you could be completely mute, and I’d still want you with me,” Shane said seriously.
“Would you love me if I was a worm?” Ilya asked, only half joking. He felt more than heard Shane laugh.
“Yes, I would love you if you were a worm,” Shane said, trailing his hands under the water to gently rub over Ilya’s sides.
“Would you take me with you to games?”
Shane pressed a kiss to Ilya’s damp curls. “Yes. I would keep you in the best jar money could buy and import special dirt from Russia. You would be the fanciest worm in the world,” Shane said with a giggle.
Ilya smiled and rubbed his hands over Shane’s shins. They stayed silent for a bit, and after a while, Shane started trailing his hand over Ilya’s chest.
“That feels so nice, solnyshko,” Ilya sighed. Shane hummed and continued rubbing his hands. Every so often, his fingers would brush over Ilya’s nipples, and Ilya tried to keep his noises in, but when Shane started sucking a mark into his neck, then pinched his nipples at the same time, he really couldn’t help it. Ilya moaned, and the sound seemed to echo off the walls.
“That’s it, mon chérie,” let me hear you,” Shane purred.
Ilya squirmed and was suddenly very aware of how hard he was, and if the feeling of Shane’s erection pressed against his was anything to go by, his husband was just as eager. “Shane, please, don’t tease me, lyubimiy,” he begged. He could feel how warm his cheeks were, and his fingertips felt like they were tingling with anticipation.
“Shh, I have you. Just let me make you feel good,” Shane instructed.
Ilya whined as Shane wrapped his hand over his cock under the water. Shane didn’t waste any time and began slowly stroking his husband’s cock.
“Oh god, just like that,” Ilya softly moaned. Ilya gripped Shane’s legs harder, trying to stay grounded. Shane took his time, slowly touching all over Ilya’s body with his free hand as he stroked his cock. He pinched his pebbled nipples, ran his nails over his arms and legs, kissed his neck, and ended up with his free hand fisted in Ilya’s curls.
“You are doing so well, sweetheart. Am I making you feel good?” Shane asked as he scratched at Ilya’s scalp.
Ilya no longer felt like the shadows were around him, and now felt a pleasant cloudiness start to hover in his mind. “Feels so good, don’t stop, fuck it feels so good,” he groaned. Shane continued his ministrations, and Ilya let himself get lost in the feeling.
“You’re so perfect for me, Ilya. My perfect boy, I love you so much,” Shane cooed. Ilya whimpered and arched into his husband's touch as much as he could. “You are so strong, carrying our whole team through each season, carrying me through life, you are everything I ever wanted, baby. You know that? My perfect Ilyusha,” Shane praised.
Ilya hoped his husband wasn't expecting a real answer, because all he was capable of was making small sounds of pleasure. Shane’s hand sped up under the water, and Ilya gasped. “I’m close, Shanya, please,” he gasped out.
Shane pressed himself as close to Ilya as possible. “Come for me, sweetheart, make a mess, I want to see it,” Shane encouraged.
Shane pumped his hand over his husband's cock two more times, and then Ilya arched up and came. He closed his eyes and turned his head so he could capture Shane’s in a kiss, which Shane happily returned. Ilya’s mind was filled with pleasant static, and he relaxed back into the water. Shane only let the younger man rest for a moment, though.
“Come on, baby. Let’s get us out and dry, then we'll go to bed,” Shane said gently. The bubbles were now practically nonexistent, and the now dirty water had started to cool off.
Ilya tried to speak, but his mouth wouldn’t cooperate.
“It’s okay, come on, up,” Shane said as he unstopped the drain. The water started to flow out, and Shane carefully stood up, propping Ilya up in the tub.
“What about you?” Ilya asked, cracking his eyes open.
Shane softly smiled as he toweled off. “This was for you, baby. I wanted to make you feel good,” Shane said.
“Nooo, I want you,” Ilya pouted. The shadows were successfully banished for now, and Ilya felt better, but he was still tender around the edges.
Shane laughed softly as he helped Ilya step out of the tub. Ilya went to grab the towel from Shane’s hands, but the shorter man shooed his hands away. “Let me do it,” Shane insisted. Ilya smiled and let his husband towel him off. When he was all done, Shane pressed several kisses to the now dry skin, then kissed Ilya on the lips. “Come on, you can prep me if you want, I know you love having your fingers inside me,” Shane teased, taking Ilya’s hand and leading them to their bed.
Ilya bit his lip nervously. “I want you to fuck me,” he said.
Shane smiled as he crawled onto the bed. “I’ll ride you, come on,” Shane said, patting the bed.
Ilya came closer to the bed, but stood at the edge. “I want you to fuck me,” Ilya said, cheeks heating up. He had been thinking about it all day. He woke to an empty bed, and all it had made him think of was how empty he felt inside.
“Oh,” Shane breathed.
“Is okay, if you don’t want,” Ilya rushed when Shane didn’t immediately respond. He knew Shane preferred to bottom, but he really wanted Shane on top and inside of him.
“Baby,” Shane exhaled. “Of course, but you-do we have time-“ he stuttered.
“I prepped this morning. Drank your fancy tea this morning for breakfast,” Ilya shyly interrupted.
Shane’s mouth fell open into an adorable O.
Ilya blushed and climbed onto the bed. He rolled onto his side and hid his face in the covers. “Say something,” he mumbled into the blankets.
Shane instantly snapped out of his daze and wrapped his arms around his husband. “Baby, you have no idea how hot that is, holy shit,” Shane said in awe.
Ilya snorted and came out from his hiding spot. “Me prepping my asshole is sexy?”
Shane nodded enthusiastically. “Fuck yeah, come on, I’m not done taking care of you. You want to ride me?” He asked.
On the rare occasion he wanted to bottom, that’s usually how Ilya preferred it. But he wanted Shane to be in charge, and he wanted to feel completely surrounded by his love. “I want you on top, I want to see you,” he asked, cheeks heating up again.
Shane leaned forward to press their lips together. “Anything you want, you can have, always,” he said tenderly. Ilya nodded and softly kissed his husband.
“Condom, or no?” Shane asked, wiggling away to open his nightstand drawer.
Ilya shifted over so he was in the center of the bed on his back. He shook his head. “No, I need to feel you,” he said desperately.
Shane nodded like he knew exactly what Ilya meant. He grabbed the lube and tossed it next to Ilya’s head before lying on top of the taller man.
“How do you want it?” Shane asked, placing several kisses on Ilya’s chest.
“I don’t want to decide, I want you to think for me,” Ilya responded. He needed to turn his brain off, if even for only a little while.
Shane placed one last kiss on his husband’s chest before kissing down his long legs. He placed a single kiss on Ilya’s tip, causing the younger man to cry out. “Shane, do not tease, please, moya lyubov,” Ilya croaked. He felt himself start to tremble; his desperation was reaching a fever pitch.
“Shh, I have you,” Shane cooed. He got comfortable on his knees and encouraged Ilya to spread his legs. “Let me see you, all of you,” he said.
Ilya nodded shyly and spread his legs wider.
“Beautiful,” Shane breathed.
“Shane, please,” Ilya whispered.
Shane smiled and popped the lid on the lube. The snick of the lid sounded loud in the hush of the room, but Shane didn't give his husband any time to think about it. “Breath in for me, sweetheart,” Shane said softly. Ilya took a deep breath in through his nose, and Shane eased a single finger past the tight ring of muscle.
Ilya whimpered, then moaned. His hands were gripping the sheets, and Shane slid his free hand up to interlock their fingers. “Relax, let me in,” Shane whispered. Ilya squeezed his husband’s hand and took several more deep breaths before his body allowed his muscles to ease. “There you are, baby. Look at me,” Shanae softly commanded.
Ilya’s eyes fluttered open; he hadn't even realized he’d closed them, and was instantly struck by the utter devotion in Shane’s eyes.
“More, please, give me more,” Ilya whimpered. Shane didn't respond with words, but leaned down to place a tender kiss on the taller man’s thigh. He drizzled more lube on his fingers and tucked a second digit in beside the first. He gave Ilya a moment to adjust, then gently started thrusting in and out.
Ilya was trembling, and the only thought he had in his head was getting his husband's cock inside of him. Before he could ask, Shane spoke.
“More?”
Ilya nodded so hard he felt his curls bounce. “Please.”
Shane nodded, and his forehead creased in concentration. He kept his thrust measured, careful to avoid Ilya’s prostate. Before long, Ilya was panting.
“Solnyshko, please, another,” he begged.
Shane smiled and carefully wedged another finger in. He twisted his wrist and pressed forward. Ilya’s back arched, and he jerked forward. There.
“Shane, please, fuck, I cannot take it. I need you inside of me, now!” Ilya cried.
“One more, I don’t want to hurt you,” Shane said.
Ilya shook his head, but Shane was already curling a fourth finger into Ilya’s slick entrance.
“Fuck! Mne eto nuzhno seychas, pozhaluysta, lyubov' moya,” Ilya pleaded. It felt like the desire was eating him alive.
I need it now, please, my love.
“Okay, I have you, Ilyusha, deep breath, baby,” Shane said before withdrawing his fingers. Ilya hissed, but then moaned when Shane climbed on top of him. “Ready?” He asked, positioning himself at Ilya’s entrance.
Ilya groaned and hooked his leg around Shane’s, pulling him closer. “Shane,” he said, grabbing at his husband’s arms.
“Breathe,” Shane commanded. They both moaned as Shane pushed in, and Ilya threw his head back. Shane let himself fall forward, burying his face in Ilya’s sweaty neck. Before Ilya could ask, Shane started making small, sharp thrusts.
“O bozhe, vot tak prosto,” Ilya cried. His brain was no longer capable of translating. All he knew was the heat of Shane on top of him and the all-consuming pleasure wracking his body.
Oh god, just like that.
“Fuck, you’re so tight. Shit, Ilya, fuck,” Shane whimpered in Ilya’s neck. Ilya scraped his nails down Shane’s back, and the older man’s hips stuttered, forcing him deeper.
“Ah!” Ilya yelped.
“Yeah? Right there? Hold on for me, baby,” Shane instructed. Ilya dug his fingernails into Shane’s back and brought his other hand to fist in his husband’s silky black hair. Shane connected their lips and started roughly snapping his hips. Ilya’s thoughts went fuzzy, and he held on to his husband tighter.
“Bol'she, bol'she, bol'she,” Ilya chanted into Shane’s mouth.
More, more, more.
“I’ll always give you more,” Shane moaned. He suddenly pulled himself up and grabbed Ilya’s hips. Ilya cried out at the change in angle, and when Shane looked down, the younger man had tears in his blue eyes. “Fuck,” he said, setting a brutal rhythm, “that’s right, Ilya, cry for me, sweetheart. You look so pretty like this,” Shane panted. Ilya reached a hand down to touch himself, but Shane grabbed his hand before taking the other and pinning them both to the bed. Ilya felt his eyes cross and his mind slowly start to cloud over.
“Tvoyu mat', on pytayetsya menya ubit'. Trakhni menya sil'neye!”
Holy shit, he is trying to kill me. Fuck me harder.
“I’m going to fuck you harder, and then you are going to come, untouched. You think you do that?” Shane gasped out. He pulled himself up as much as he could and angled his thrusts so he was hitting Ilya’s prostate every time.
“Da, pozhaluysta, Shanya, ya khochu byt' khoroshim,” Ilya sobbed. He was one solid line of nothing but feeling, and he wanted nothing more than for his husband to fill him up.
Yes, please, I want to be good.
“You are so good. My perfect boy, come on, come for me, Ilyusha,” Shane growled. He squeezed Ilya’s hips once, hard enough to bruise, and Ilya arched up and came all over his belly. Tears were rolling down his face, and Shane took one look at his husband and groaned, burying himself to the hilt before spilling inside.
Shane collapsed forward. He pulled out as gently as he could, then swept his husband into his arms. Ilya made a soft sound and whined into Shane’s neck. “Shh, I have you, I know, baby. It’s so much, I have you. Just lay there for me, I’m not going anywhere, I have you,” Shane babbled, clutching Ilya close. The younger man was completely limp, and Shane started placing soft kisses everywhere he could reach. Ilya’s face, arms, nose. He squeezed the larger man slightly, knowing the steady pressure helped ground his floating thoughts. Every few seconds, Ilya would make a soft sound, and Shane held him until they subsided. He leaned over and grabbed the soft wipes they kept in their nightstands for times like these. He wiped Ilya off as best he could, then himself. They would need a shower later, and maybe new sheets, but Shane was tired too, and the guest bedroom sounded like a better idea. He grabbed a bottle of water and a chocolate bar from the drawer and opened both so they would be ready when Ilya came back up. Shane settled back in bed, pulling Ilya closer so that the taller man was draped over his chest and covered them both with the blanket. Shane let the peaceful silence settle and placed several kisses on Ilya’s soft curls.
A bit later, Ilya felt the clouds slightly clear. “‘Ank you,” he croaked. Shane’s eyes snapped to his face, and he instantly reached for the water.
Shane helped Ilya sit up more, and the younger man smiled softly. “Slow,” he instructed. Ilya took several slow sips before nodding. Shane set the bottle back down, and Ilya tucked his face into his husband's neck.
“Ya tebya lyublyu,” Ilya said softly. Shane looked down, and blue eyes met brown.
I love you.
“Ya tebya lyublyu, Ilyusha. More than anything. It was good?” Shane asked.
Ilya laughed softly. “Da, I think you made my brain leak out of my ears,” he joked.
Shane blushed and softly kissed his husband. “Good,” he whispered. “How does your head feel?” Shane asked, tapping Ilya’s temple.
Ilya lay his cheek on Shane’s chest and thought for a moment. He felt lighter now than he had all day. “Good,” he said honestly.
“Good,” Shane echoed. “Are you ready for a shower? I think we should make the sheets a tomorrow problem,” he said.
Ilya smiled, and the corners of his eyes crinkled. “Who are you and what have you done with my husband?” He teased.
“Fucking is a lot more tiring than you make it look,” Shane laughed.
Ilya giggled, actually giggled. Shane smiled and took his husband's face into his hands to kiss him. “Come on, I will carry you, and you can sit on the bench while I wash you,” Shane said, wiggling out from under the blanket.
Ilya looked at his husband very seriously, and Shane paused in worry. “Lyubimyy, you are going to have to. My legs are like baby deer, very wobbly. Will not work. You fucked me too well,” he said, face grave.
Shane busted out laughing. “Come on, I am ready for bed, and so are you. Let’s shower,” he said, shaking his head. Ilya smiled and crawled into his husband's arms.