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Misa can feel Sam’s foot against his as he rants about Misa’s sleeping habits to Toff after the podcast. They’re sat right next to each other, Cat giggling along to Sam’s overdramatized retelling and Toff is listening, eyes soft and fond as Misa finally shoves Sam.
“He’s lying.” Is all he can come up with, his own giggles threatening to spill over. Sam grins at him, eyes lighting up excitedly as he starts bickering with him.
Sam gets closer, his knee knocking against Misa’s as he point his fork at him accusingly and says: “You do it on purpose, don’t you?”
Misa snorts, covering his mouth with his hand and shakes his head, “I do not go to bed and think ‘hm, how can I terrorize Dickie tonight’. If you’re still up by the time I’m asleep, then that’s on you bud.”
Dinner ends after that, Misa and Sam taking over the kitchen to clean up and then disappearing into Misa’s room. The room itself is still kind of bare, the type that leaves more unsaid in the blank walls and bare shelves. I’m not staying forever, Misa had said one night after a rough game. Sam had been pressed against him, the agitation of being scratched and watching his team get decimated from the press box still buzzing under his skin.
Sam had stayed quiet, remembering the impersonal hotel room and how it was cleaned while he was gone. The effort to make the room his own while still waiting to see if he was going to stay in San Jose at all. Misa had pressed closer, a line of warmth from shoulder to hip to thigh; it’s a grounding presence, the warmth of another person and the understanding that they know what you’re thinking.
There’s a few knickknacks on the windowsill that Sam hadn’t noticed the last time he was here. Misa is getting comfortable at his desk, his PC booting up and Sam knows he’s going to get caught up on his game. For a moment he thinks of leaving, but the idea of going back to an empty apartment where the only thing louder than the silence are his thoughts, he sprawls on Misa’s bed.
Misa turns to look at him for a second, brown eyes watching him carefully. The dying sunlight casts across him and Sam for just a second, is caught off-guard by how soft Misa looks. Of course he knows, they spend almost as much time together as Will and Mack, but this sudden realization is different, weighted in a way that has him want to examine it from the outside.
Sam adjusts himself so he can see the screen from where he’s laying in bed, Misa shifting himself so he can still play but not get in the way of Sam’s line of sight. Something else settles in Sam, behind his ribs at the way the two of them shift together, the gentle push and pull of a friendship shifting gears into something unspoken.
Misa plays with hushed tones, aware of Sam’s ever shifting gaze from the computer to the back of his neck, his skin prickling with goosebumps. He wants to turn around, to look Sam in the eyes and ask him what it all means. Sam is always around, fingers fidgeting with the urge to reach out and touch. Sometimes he stops himself, hand half way out to wherever Misa is before he pulls away suddenly. Sometimes the touch lands, soft and gently, a barely there press against his back or wherever Sam was reaching for; his arms, his thigh, his knee.
Eventually Misa gets tired and Toff has already texted him to go to bed so he switches his PC off and turns to his bed. Sam is fast asleep, having slipped down the bed to lay on his back. One of his hands is splayed out on his stomach and the other one up by his head.
They’ve shared beds before, in dark hotel rooms as they turned over whatever game they had just played. Sometimes Sam slips into his own bed, a tired goodnight mees whispered into the space between their beds; he’s asleep before Misa can respond, the words stuck in his throat as he watches the rise and fall of Sam’s chest.
He doesn’t entertain the idea of waking Sam up, not when it’s late and he knows Sam hates being alone. He brushes his teeth and changes into comfortable clothes. He finds an extra charger and plugs both their phones in before crawling onto the bed. It’s big enough for the both of them with enough space between them, yet Sam shifts, eyebrows furrowing for a second before finding Misa.
It’s almost too easy.
Misa’s heart rattles behind his ribs as Sam pulls him close, subconsciously shifting to fit Misa closer to him until Misa is curled into him. He still smells like the cologne he sprays on before they go out, the faint scent of it making Misa’s head swim as he allows himself to nose at Sam’s neck. Sam grips him tighter as Misa lets out a shaky exhale, his eyes fluttering close.
He doesn’t know what this is, doesn’t know what it could be, but he wants it all the same. He wants Sam beside him all the time, he wants so desperately it makes him feel out of control. He wants Sam and his noise, and his stubbornness and his ability to make Misa feel invincible.
He wants, wants, wants and he knows if he tells Sam, knows that if he lets Sam in the way he so desperately wants, Sam will give and give until there’s nothing left. He can doom them both, can make this crash and burn if they’re not careful, but they’re young aren’t they? They have their entire lives ahead of them so why can’t he have this?
“I can hear you thinking.” Sam murmurs, voice heavy and thick with sleep. Misa pulls back enough to look Sam in the eyes. His eyes are half-lidded, but they’re trailing over Misa’s face with the careful expression of someone who knows just enough.
Misa doesn’t respond, can’t figure out what to say so he shifts, slips a hand over Sam’s side and pushes them impossibly closer. Sam makes a sound, but Misa ignores it and presses a barely-there brush of his lips against Sam’s slow beating heartbeat.
He doesn’t have to say anything because Sam knows, has probably always known and was just waiting for Misa to catch up, to meet him at the top so they can go down together.
Sam runs a hand through Misa’s hair, his nails scratching at his scalp until the tension slips out, his lungs expanding and letting out a heavy exhale as he presses into the touch. It’s enough, his mind whispers, it’s enough, it’s enough.
He falls asleep encompassed by Sam, their hearts synced up and their future somehow clearer than it was hours earlier.