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Dean Leonis sat in bed, his back against the headboard of the motel room bed, and a notepad balanced on one knee. The motel lights were low and dim, reflecting the soft glow of early morning light coming through the window by the door. He arrived in town after a night of hunting; he was a daemon hunter by trade. It was a dangerous yet necessary job. The few nights in between were spent in a motel, rather than a haven. He had no idea when he started writing songs; it must have been after he met Gladiolus Amicitia. The thought of his lover caused him to look over at the man lying next to him, still sleeping soundly, before returning his attention to the notebook. As his bed partner stirred, he hummed a few chords and wrote in the notebook. He looked over, a soft smile forming as Gladio moved. The hunter watched his lover stretch before meeting those beautiful amber eyes. “Morning, Gladio.”
The Shield groaned and stretched before replying, “Morning. Whatcha writing?”
Dean looked down at the writing and answered, “A country song. Kinda reminded me a bit about our relationship, ya know?”
Gladio rolled over onto his side, the sheet slipping down to his hip, and Gladio made no move to fix it as he asked, “Our relationship? How so?”
Dean smiled. “We both have our duties, and they keep us separated for extended periods of time. I could go to the Crown City, but my people need me; my hunters need me, just as your king needs you. All we have are these stolen moments.”
Gladio frowned as he processed Dean’s words. “You have a point. But we both knew going into this that it was going to be a long-distance thing,” he pointed out.
Dean nodded. “Yeah, I know. But still, there are days when I think, "What if?" Dean slid out of bed, unconcerned about his nakedness, and went to his bag, where he pulled out a worn acoustic guitar. The worn duffel bag had seen much use and abuse over the years. The guitar, on the other hand, was a rare find. He’d seen it in the window of a thrift shop in Altissia, one of the few times he’d been home. “This song is about wondering about that what if? Could I stay away? Do I still want to?”
Gladio stayed quiet as Dean settled back onto the bed next to him and started strumming a tune. After a few chords, Dean started to sing.
“Sometimes I think these boots are better off on your porch.
My hat sure looks at home hanging on your side of the door.
It's hard to pack a bag with you lying there in bed.
And even harder backin' down your drive
Thinking bout the words you said"
As Gladio listened to the words, he could see how they fit their current relationship. It became more difficult each time they had to part; neither of them wanted to leave the other, but they knew they had to. What if? That thought had crossed his mind. In the lull between his duty to Crown Prince Noctis Caelm and to his father and the Crownsguard, Gladio did dream of ‘What if?’ He dreamed of spending his life with his lover. But reality hit, and these stolen moments were all they had.
“Rock and roll, cowboy.
How high you gotta fly?
How many miles you gotta ride?
'Fore you hang your saddle up
Rock and roll cowboy.
You got restless in your soul.
If you ain't out there on that road
So go on and rock and roll, cowboy.”
“I can feel the wheels, hear that engine hum a highway song.
Starin' out at another midnight whiskey windshield all night long
Another town, another show, another hotel room
Another missin' you over this phone
When you comin' home, when you comin' home"
Dean knew as he sang the chorus that one day he would not want to be away from Gladio. His feelings were too strong, and they grew stronger whenever they met. It came down to a choice: did they keep going this way, or did he stop at Meldacio HQ and speak with Dave? He put those emotions and conflicts into the last part of the song.
“Rock and roll, cowboy.
How high you gotta fly?
How many miles you gotta ride?
'Fore you hang your saddle up
Rock and roll cowboy.
You got restless in your soul.
If you ain't out there on that road
So go on and rock and roll, cowboy.”
“Rock and roll, cowboy.
“Rock and roll, cowboy.
Oh, you know where you belong.
You ain't you if you ain't gone.
You'll never hang your saddle up.
“Rock and roll, cowboy.
How high you gotta fly?
How many miles you gotta ride?
How many miles, how many miles
Rock and roll cowboy.
Rock and roll cowboy.”
Once the last of the words and music died down, Dean carefully set the guitar onto the floor by the nightstand and turned towards his lover. “Maybe one day I’ll hang that saddle up and follow you back to the Crown City,” he murmured as he leaned in to kiss Gladio. He put those emotions into that kiss: the budding love he felt and the admiration he had for Gladio’s strength and loyalty. He truly did love Gladio, and maybe that was enough.
It has been a few days since he parted with Gladio, and Dean couldn’t stop thinking about their most recent night together. He had driven his bike to HQ seeking out both Ezma and Dave. He needed to decide on his and Gladio’s relationship. Could he keep up this long distance? Only see each other when their schedules allow? Did he even want to?
He did know that no matter what decision he made, he would have his parents' support. His mom, Leviathan, would tell him to follow his heart. He hasn’t seen his father in a few years, but Cor would also support his decision, especially if it meant he got to see his eldest son more often. Speaking of his father, he hasn’t seen his little brother in ages either. His job kept him rather busy; there was always another hunt to do.
Dean parked his bike in front of the mart next to Ezma’s house and made the short trek next door and up the stairs onto a worn porch. Ezma was in her rocking chair like normal; her son, Dave, was in the field. Most likely stationed at Prairie Outpost. “Well met, Dean. What brings you here this morning?”
“I have a bit of a dilemma. You see, I’ve been seeing someone from the Crown City. At first, only meeting up once in a while was enough. But now, after spending so much time with him, I long to spend even more. I don’t know what to do.” He paused. “My duties here are important; I know that. So many people depend on me, but I can’t help but think, "What if?" Y’know?”
“The path that you walk isn’t the only one available to you. You can be both a hunter and a lover. The Crown City can’t confine you; if your people need you, you will come. And as long as you are willing to answer their call, then I will tell you to follow your heart.”
A few days later, Dean pulled his motorcycle to a stop in front of the gates of the Citadel. He couldn’t wait to surprise everyone inside. He no longer had to wonder, ‘What if?’ Here he stood, about to change his path and the path of his lover.