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Eddie is not a technological whiz. Technophobe compliments were thrown at him from both Buck and Chris over the years that he’s half convinced that they have him memorised as Old Man in their phones.
But Eddie also loves his Instagram account. His private, well curated followers/following account which is basically a scrapbook of his favourite memories over the years well documented in one place.
People may call that extremely millennial of him but he was one and wasn’t ashamed of it.
At least he didn’t use facebook anymore.
He evolved. Barely, but he did.
In the beginning there were a lot of Buck, Eddie and Chris moments on the page. Occasional BBQ group photos and very few moments from his basketball outings – he cleansed that after the you know who did the you know what and never looked back. Over the past two years Chris got his own Instagram account and suddenly – not so suddenly because he was a teenager after all, but for Eddie everything regarding his baby growing up was sudden – he either opted out from being in the photo or offered to take a picture of Buck and Eddie.
Eddie added the teenage grumpiness to the ever-expanding list of things he didn’t like about time moving so fast so suddenly (again, not so suddenly – but, you know) but knew that his little boy was underneath the all ‘I’m self-sufficient and grown up’ crap he was trying to present himself these days.
So, Eddie’s page was a barren land with occasional photos of Christopher’s science fair projects and awards (without Christopher in them, because ‘Dad, you’re an unc’ – whatever that meant) and bits and pieces of photos collected from around the house that were a sign of Christopher being there.
Two joysticks and a game on the table.
Frog sticky note on the fridge with a reminder for parent teacher meeting.
The chaos of Buck’s entryway with all of their shoes mixed up like it was a mine zone waiting for someone to slip over it.
A pizza Christopher and Buck baked when Eddie had to work an extra shift and they were both bored out of their minds because there was an internet outage in the entire city.
But, ever since Theo came along Christopher mellowed and suddenly he was almost in every post again. He didn’t ran from camera, didn’t ask Eddie to check the photo several times before posting it and genuinely stopped caring what Eddie posted.
There was a time or two when Eddie posted almost five identical photos of Buck, Theo and Christopher – all three of them grinning at the green slime in front of them looking like carbon copies of each other – and Eddie couldn’t decide which one to post because every single one was slightly different that earned an eyeroll and an exasperated sigh from Christopher but not the usual battle preceding the Theo era.
_
It all started a month after Theo was in Buck’s custody.
‘’Hey Buck?’’ Eddie called one afternoon across the engine bay, phone in his hand scrolling through his gallery. Buck was cleaning the front of the rig and Eddie the back.
‘’Yeah?’’
‘’Did you know you can collaborate posts on Instagram and it will show on both timelines?’’ Eddie asks seriously looking at the options on his phone. Buck snorts.
‘’Of course Eddie, I’m not an old man like you.’’
‘’Hey there, I’m a year younger than you,’’ Eddie mocks offense.
‘’Only on paper Eddie. Only on paper,’’ Buck looks up at Eddie from where he’s cleaning the bumper on his knees.
‘’Hm,’’ Eddie says still looking at his phone. Buck gets up and strides towards him.
‘’Is something wrong or?’’
‘’Oh, no. Just wanted to post a picture on my feed and it says that I can collaborate with you.’’
‘’Oh, it’s a photo of us?’’ Buck lightens up immediately. Eddie smiles back.
‘’You, Chris and Theo from the zoo actually. The one where Theo is on your back.’’
‘’Aaah I love that photo!’’ Buck grins looking over Eddie’s shoulder at his phone. ‘’Hit that collab button, I want that on my feed too.’’
Eddie looks at Buck who’s still smiling at the phone.
‘’You sure? I know that your account is public and I don’t want to jeopardize Theo’s safety.’’
Eddie starts but Buck shakes his head. ‘’Don’t worry. Sorted that weeks ago. Locked the account and cleansed all the lists with only the people I know. You can post it.’’
Buck bats his hand in the air and goes back to polishing the bumper.
‘’You sure?’’
‘’I’m sure,’’ Buck smiles softly looking back at Eddie again and Eddie is a weak, weak man and hits that post button.
_
It’s been months since that day and every time Eddie is there for Buck, Chris and Theo moments – which is basically all the time – he snaps a picture or a video and makes a collab post with Buck.
Theo in Buck’s oversized turnout coat and helmet falling over his eyes. Check.
Theo and Buck covered in flour while making pizza dough. Check.
A video of Theo running around in a Spiderman costume in Buck’s backyard while Christopher showers him with a hose. Check.
Theo sleeping on Eddie’s chest on Buck’s couch. Check.
Buck, Eddie, Theo and Chris in a movie theatre all wearing 3D glasses. Check.
Theo’s first Halloween with the four of them all dressed up – Theo as Spiderman, Chris (reluctantly) as Superman, Buck and Eddie both as cowboys. Check.
Theo’s first day of pre-school holding Buck’s hand and Buck with tears in his eyes looking at him. Check.
Eddie’s wheel covered in little plastic dinosaurs like they’re the ones driving. Check.
Buck on his belly in his backyard with Theo on his back stomping him with his little feet. Check.
Chris and Theo with their faces full of spaghetti sauce smeared all over. Check.
Buck and Chris on Buck’s dining room table hunched over Chris’s literary assignment like he’s writing new Anna Karennina. Check.
Buck kissing Eddie’s cheek all flushed while Eddie holds the mistletoe over their heads at the fire station loft. Both of them grinning. Check.
Buck, Chris and Theo all sprawled on Buck’s oversized bed he got after Theo got home, all three of them in the same sleeping pose. Check.
He doesn’t think about it.
The implications or that warm feeling inside his chest every time he snaps a photo or posts it on his page.
They’re great photos.
Great memories.
There’s nothing more to it, right?
That’s what he did for the past nine years he spent in LA. Ever since Buck came into their lives his online presence was exactly like that – now with a Theo bonus. It’s nothing out of the ordinary.
He doesn’t question all the snickering noises every time he posts a photo or video on his feed when they’re on shift.
He doesn’t question Hen’s looks while he’s capturing another photo of Buck and Theo being silly.
He doesn’t question the blush on Buck’s cheeks every time he repeats the caption out loud written under the photo like it’s something sacred – because for him that’s what you do when you’re making online scrapbook, you write everything that happened, add little heart emojis and a personalized hashtag #familytime because that’s what you do.
He’s a millennial, leave him alone. He has exactly fifty followers and knows personally every single one of them. He can be a little cringe if he wants to.
He doesn’t question anything while he’s answering his sister’s messages in his DM when he sees a small number (1) under the ‘message requests’ tab. He clicks on it expecting it to be a spam when…
Well.
That’s something he really didn’t think could happen.
There is a message request from Tommy and he very well knows why it’s under ‘message requests’ because he unfriended and removed himself from his followers the moment he broke Buck’s heart. He might’ve muted him when they started dating but that’s Eddie’s business and Eddie’s business alone.
Eddie snorts and hovers over the ‘delete message’ wondering whether to open it or not.
Curiosity wins as he enters the thread.
And there are messages.
Several of them.
No, scratch that.
There are at least dozens of them spanning from his very first BuckTheo collab post up until just this morning when he posted Theo grinning while proudly holding a paper with hand-drawn fire engine and four stick figures next to it resembling Buck, Eddie, Chris and Theo.
He scrolls all the way up and starts reading.
‘You know, I always wondered.’
‘And to think Buck thought you were straight HAH.’
‘I never had a chance with either of you, haven’t I?’
‘I guess Buck has been deleting my messages because I see that he’s seen them. But you unfriended me Diaz? This is priceless. You really do deserve each other.’
‘Lol now he blocked me completely??? You two are a mess. Are you really that insecure about your relationship Diaz?’
What is he even going on about? Eddie thinks while he scrolls through a round of expletive comments which he decides just to skim over.
He then goes straight to Tommy’s profile and blocks him without a second thought.
Good riddance.
But his mind reels that night as he lies in his bunk bed, right next to Buck deep in his sleep – snoring softly in the background. He almost forgets about it until few hours later when they’re abruptly woken up for a five-alarm fire.
They’re enroute to the incident when Buck’s phone buzzes. He takes it out from his pocket, makes a disgusted face, looks over at Eddie then shakes his head and pockets his phone.
Eddie leans over.
‘’You okay?’’ He taps Buck’s knee three times.
‘’Yeah. Just, strange message from Tommy.’’
‘’Ew. Where did he crawl out from?’’ Hen asks and Buck blushes.
‘’It’s nothing,’’ Buck answers but looks straight at Eddie who is still locked in on him waiting for an explanation.
‘’We’ll talk about it later,’’ Buck murmurs as they’re stepping out from the engine.
They jump into rhythm handling the structure fire, helicopters whirling above them as they handle victims and fire. They are focused until the very end when Buck and Eddie are stranded on the roof with a victim unable to find an exit.
‘’Air support coming your way boys, stay put,’’ Chim parrots from the radio.
‘’Copy that Cap,’’ Buck answers as the helicopter approaches and lowers the basket. As they’re strapping the patient their radio chimes in again.
‘’Air support 5 on standby, firefighters please note when I can lift the patient up,’’ says a monotone voice on the radio and Buck and Eddie almost groan in unison knowing fully well whom that voice belongs to.
‘’Fuck.’’
‘’Fuck.’’
‘’It can’t be him, right?’’ Eddie asks as the voice echoes from the radio again.
‘’This is fire pilot Tommy Kinard, I kindly ask responding firefighters to update on the rooftop incident.’’
There’s probably too much smoke or it’s hectic enough that he can’t see their names printed on the turnouts. Eddie reluctantly thumbs his radio.
‘’Firefighter Diaz and Buckley responding. We are all strapped and secured, you can begin the lift off.’’
There is a brief pause on the radio then quick. ‘’Copy that,’’ and they’re being lift off.
‘’What did he say to you?’’ Eddie asks Buck while they’re being lifted.
‘’Doesn’t matter,’’ Buck shakes his head.
‘’Is it about me blocking him? Because I don’t see how he didn’t see that one coming,’’ Eddie scoffs.
‘’You blocked him?’’ Buck asks shocked.
‘’I unfriended him years ago and removed myself from his friends list yet he kept messaging me. Not that I saw any of it until last night but yeah. After everything he wrote he’s happy I’m not filing a formal complaint to the department.’’
But Buck doesn’t get to ask anything why because they’re pulled into the haul of the helicopter by two air medics and stay silent working on the patient until they reach the helipad of the hospital.
Tommy jumps out from his seat to help with the patient hand off but Eddie just silently elbows him while he and Buck parrot vitals to the waiting hospital staff.
‘’Buckley. Diaz,’’ Chim’s voice carries through the radio. ‘’We’re at the First Presbyterian dropping off people. Join us for the ride back when you finish with the patient.’’
‘’Copy that Cap. On our way,’’ Eddie responds and salutes with two fingers to the medics in the helicopter. He doesn’t see Tommy but is met with Buck’s pale face when he turns around. He furrows his brows in confusion and turns around when he almost runs into Tommy’s chest.
Tommy – with evil grin on his face like he stepped out of a villain comic book cover.
‘’Well, well, well. What do we have here?’’ Tommy says smugly.
‘’Back off Tommy, we’re on a tight schedule,’’ Eddie says strolling right past him. Buck following in his footsteps.
‘’It’s tight all right,’’ Tommy scoffs. Eddie stops in his tracks and turns around. He can feel Buck’s hand around his wrist, grounding him – telling him to stop because Tommy is doing it on purpose.
‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’ Eddie asks instead.
‘’You know what that means Diaz,’’ Tommy scoffs again but stops smiling when Eddie gets so close to him that the fact that Tommy is actually larger than Eddie now seems irrelevant because Eddie is the one towering over him.
‘’Say one more thing about my family and it’ll be the last thing you do.’’
‘’Eddie,’’ Buck says tugging him on his wrist where Eddie never broke contact. Pleading for this to be over. The other air medics are watching the scene, unmoving.
Eddie gently interlocks his hand with Buck’s and squeezes once before releasing him and putting it on Tommy’s chest, eyes still locked on pilot’s frightened face.
And Eddie sees it in his face. Tommy didn’t expect this.
He didn’t think that Eddie would go into war for Buck over this.
Or, he was too deep into his delusions that everything he said in those messages was not a joke but an actual fact.
And it clicks in Eddie’s mind – because that’s it. The thing everyone threw around them for years which they dutifully ignored was never just a joke, not to him at least (a little voice in his head tells him that Buck feels it too).
He just didn’t know how to define it.
How do you define a relationship with your best friend where both of you time and time again proved that you’d either kill or be killed for the benefit of the other? Or, both.
And Eddie is not afraid from the realization, nor stunned.
It washes over him like a soft morning light.
It makes sense.
Which infuriates him that the idiot in front of him is intruding on this very moment, so he snarls.
‘’It’s one thing to go after me. It’s another coming after the people I love. If I find out that in any shape or form you hurt, spread lies or even thought about Buck, Chris or Theo I’ll hunt you down.
‘’And I sparred with you Kinard. You don’t stand a chance against me.’’
Tommy gulps opening his mouth to say something but Eddie lifts his eyebrows and Tommy just nods, turning around and getting into the pilot seat.
Eddie holds Buck’s hand the entire jog down the stairs to the engine.
Eddie holds Buck’s hand the entire drive to the station.
Eddie helps Buck out the engine by offering his hand.
He briefly lets go of him as they go and shower but as soon as they’re in their spare uniforms and on the loft’s couch he glues himself to Buck and interlocks their fingers again resting his head on Buck’s shoulder.
Finaly exhaling.
Finaly breathing.
And it feels like peace.
Like home.
Like love.
Because it was always exactly that.
The feeling of their heartbeats syncing up while they sit there, undisturbed. Buck leans his head on Eddie’s. People around them are mingling but none of them are paying any attention at them.
It feels normal because it is normal.
‘’Wanna talk about it?’’ Buck whispers.
Eddie, still on his shoulder lift his eyes a bit so he can see Buck properly. Buck is scanning his features like he’s trying to decipher the thoughts behind his expression.
‘’I love you,’’ Eddie simply says and Buck huffs out a laugh squeezing Eddie’s hand three times. ‘’Like, in love with you love you,’’ Eddie adds and Buck brings his free hand to Eddie’s jawline. Eddie melts into the touch.
‘’Yeah?’’ Buck whispers again as Eddie nods.
He shifts a bit and kisses Eddie’s forehead gently. Eddie’s breath hitches.
‘’It’s a good thing that I’m in love with you too, hm?’’
Eddie smiles and shifts enough so their lips meet in the sweetest and slowest kiss possible. The station around them is still alive, there are people around them but nobody is paying attention like they’re in their own little bubble.
‘’Hey, Buck?’’ Eddie asks with a glint of mischief in his eyes fiddling with the loops on Buck’s belt. Buck lifts his eyes in question. ‘’Would you be willing to make that Matilda chocolate cake for me?’’
At that Buck startles out a laugh and stands up pointing a finger at Eddie.
‘’No. No! Stop looking at me like that! It won’t work. Nuh uh. Nope!’’ He crosses his hands over his chest and looks at the ceiling.
‘’But Buuuuccck, I thought you love me?’’ Eddie whines pouting activating his doe eyes wet cow look, or whatever Buck calls it these days.
How on Earth did I ever thought anything between me and Buck was platonic? Jesus! He thinks again then shelves that thought for another time.
Eddie of course knows why Buck is reacting like this. The cake was the only thing on his no bake list ever since Theo face planted into it on Eddie’s last birthday then proceeded on eating half of it – the sugar rush holding him over the next 48 hours straight making their lives miserable. Not to mention the chocolate face prints that are still visible on Buck’s walls where Theo left his mask face on no matter how much Buck tried to clean it off.
‘’Nope. Nope. You know the rules. It doesn’t matter how much I love you. What about a zucchini loaf, hm?’’
Buck looks at Eddie who gives him a disbelieving look.
‘’Zucchini loaf? Are you serious right now?’’
He stands up and skates his hands on Buck’s hips but Buck backs away.
‘’Nope. Nope. Keep those puppy dog doe eyes and hands off. I’m not falling for it. I’m stronger than that,’’ he keeps talking as he runs around the loft evading Eddie until they race each other down the loft stairs.
Hen, Chim, Ravi and Harry are at the dining room table watching everything.
‘’God help us all,’’ Chim mutters stuffing a piece of banana bread into his mouth.
‘’Hell, at least they figured it out,’’ Hen takes a sip out from her coffee.
‘’You know, when I was little for years I thought they were together. And Chris never corrected me,’’ Harry chimes in.
‘’You’re better than me. I thought they were divorced and no one corrected me,’’ Ravi groans.
‘’Probies,’’ Hen and Chim say in unison and tap their coffee cups together evil smirk on their lips. Harry and Ravi roll their eyes.