Archive of Our Own

“No, Hunk, you don’t get it. I can’t keep doing this. I can only keep it to myself for so long.”

“You’ve been talking my ear off about this since the Garrison, Lance. You haven’t exactly been keeping it to yourself.”

Hunk was great. He truly was. Except, he was a reasonable guy.

How could he. 

Lance didn’t need reason. He needed to get his frustration out of his system in peace.

“You know what I mean! One day I’m going to snap and blurt out ‘Hey, asshole, I like you!’ and then what?!”

Hunk let out the deepest sigh. Anyone would be able to read it as years of being stuck in a loop of that exact conversation with his friend.

“Lance—“ Hunk debated his next words carefully, not to scare Lance off, too familiar with his habits of avoidance and denial regarding anything that required vulnerability and emotional maturity, “—you are your own biggest enemy. You can’t keep complaining about this and not do anything at the same time. Just go for it. He’s just a guy, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“Just— Just a guy?” Lance threw his hands in the air, “My chest hurts thinking about him at night!”

“Dude, that’s messed up.” He reached for a new batch of the walnut-like snacks they’d brought from one of the recent planets. The paladins made sure to stock up after tasting the familiarity so far away from home.

“And what do you mean ‘what’s the worst that could happen’? Hm, I don’t know, getting chained to a tree maybe?!” Lance furrowed his eyebrows, clearly still hurt from his failed attempts at distracting himself from his unrequited feelings towards his fellow paladin.

“Which you’ve already survived, dude! All I’m saying is, you won’t know he doesn’t like you back until you make a move. If he does like you, I doubt he’s one to do anything about it first. He seems emotionally constipated. More than you, somehow.”

“But I have made moves and you know that because I complain about them to you.” He deliberately chose to ignore Hunk’s last comment for now, knowing it wasn’t really incorrect. “But he’s never shown any indication that he’s interested. Not a flirty response, not a second-too-long eye contact, not even a friendly touch! He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

Lance was starting to deflate, his demeanor changing rapidly into a sad lump of mass against the kitchen counter.

“Okay, but you have to be very obvious about your moves. No offense, but he’s not the brightest when it comes to social interactions.”

As Hunk was about to throw another piece of the snack into his mouth, he noticed Keith walk in.

“Hey, Keith!” Hunk announced, a bit too loudly, to save Lance from any embarrassment that would come from keeping the conversation going with the topic of it being in the room.

“Hey.” He seemed to instantly spot what Hunk was eating. “Oh, do we still have any more of those?”

“Oh, yeah, loads. I just opened a new box,” he added, nodding towards the counter behind Lance. The latter had now straightened up, doing his best to look presentable.

Keith walked up to the box, not quite able to reach it without getting up into Lance’s personal space. After a second of Lance not reacting, he felt an unnecessary quarrel brewing.

“Do you mind?”

To no-one’s surprise, Lance’s defense mechanism instantly kicked in, “I’m quite comfortable right here, actually.”

“Look, man, I just want some of those walnuts. Can we make this quick? Pidge is waiting for me.” He rubbed his eyes with one hand, his face surprisingly lacking annoyance and displaying genuine exhaustion instead.

That, possibly being a first, intrigued Lance.

Was Keith really not going to bite? It was late in the day, with whatever sense of time they still had left on the spaceship, so it made sense. Maybe.

Keith never gave up a chance at a witty comeback, so it was definitely odd.

Lance threw a quick glance at Hunk, thinking of the conversation they were just having. He was tired of keeping up his faux dislike for his fellow paladin. He hadn’t even been viewing Keith as a rival in very long now, it had just been too long to be able to comfortably pretend it never happened.

If anything, Lance admired him, given everything they’d been through and the horrors they’d survived.

And yet, nothing compared to the horror of being direct about his feelings.

“You know what,” Keith turned to Hunk instead, “is there another box in the kitchen? If not, I’ll just go check the food storage.”

Hunk eyed Lance with a stern look that the latter knew all too well. “Oh, I’m sure Lance doesn’t mind handing you the box.”

A clear statement but Lance took his time.

“Does he?” Hunk pursed his lips which reminded Lance of his mother.

Definitely not a question.

With a few additional intense looks from Hunk, Lance gave in to playing nice. Or even to something better.

“I’ll…” he started, already with much less confidence than was going for, “I’ll give you the box for a kiss?” Hunk knew there was sincerity in his question and being exposed like that made Lance all the more anxious.

“Sure, Lance. Let me just get my lipstick to freshen up.” Keith rolled his eyes, grabbing a glass of water and leaving without another word.

“I don’t think he left to freshen up.” Hunk threw another piece of walnut into the air, catching it perfectly.

Lance aggressively gestured to the exit, trying to make a point. “This is what happens! Every time! He never takes me seriously.”

“To be fair, Lance, you flirt with so many people just for the sake of it.” Hunk genuinely didn’t know how he could help or what even could be done anymore. “Plus, you love to rile him up. You need to be clearer about your intentions, or, obviously, he’s gonna think this is just another game.”

“I might actually explode if I have to be any clearer than a ‘kiss me’.”

Unfortunately, he had to be.

 - - -

After a few extra scolding words from Hunk, Lance was determined to play nice. No more snarky remarks. Genuine Lance was on the move.

Well.

Within reason.

He was only human. It was difficult to break a habit.

On his way back to his room, Lance caught Keith playing Killbot Phantasm I with Pidge in one of the rooms they had designated for video games and pretending they’re on Earth instead of an endless void of stars.

It was fully dark inside, save for the screen light. The two just finished a level as Lance leaned into the room.

“Take that!” Keith jumped up from the couch, hyper from excitement. “I told you I could do it.”

The flush in his cheeks didn’t go unnoticed by Lance. Add the heavy breathing, and his own cheeks started to color.

God, why.

“Relax, cowboy. Five levels was a generous bet and you only beat me by 2 points.” Keith looked offended, face showing his thoughts calculating a response, but Pidge went on with a sigh, “I’ll let you have this one anyway. Coran is probably looking for me by now, I was supposed to meet him an hour ago.”

As they were about to leave, they turned back one last time, cartoonishly evil gaze striking Keith, “Enjoy your record while it lasts.” And with that, they disappear into the corridor, not before regarding Lance with a quick nod.

As Keith watched Pidge leave, he finally noticed the figure by the door. “Oh. Hey.”

“Hey, samurai,” Lance crossed his arms, leaning on the doorframe, “you’re the talk of the town with your Killbot skills,” teasing still his natural response.

“You bet I am.” Keith seemed way too confident to be brought down by routine taunt which earned him an overdramatic scoff. “Are you doubting me? I challenge you to beat my score right now.” He crossed his arms, mimicking Lance.

“Slow down there.” The boy slowly approached the couch in the small room, “we all know ultimately Pidge holds the champion title, and you’re gonna have to pry the second place from my cold, dead hands.” He poked Keith’s chest, holding his gaze, resolve pouring from every pore.

“Oh, you’re on.” Keith immediately sat down, his friend quickly falling into the couch next to him.

Friend? Keith unintentionally started reflecting.

No. Lance was too caught up in their stupid rivalry to consider him a friend. Given their current circumstances, rival was a more appropriate term anyway.

What a pain.

There was friendly rivalry and then there was whatever Lance had going on. Keith felt forced to keep Lance at a distance because of the boy’s unhealthy outlook on their dynamic. He felt Lance had to prove something, perhaps to himself, most of all. No matter, Keith was still helplessly entranced every time the blue paladin as little as glanced at him. Everything about him made his heart pound, his mind race a million miles, his stomach churn from frustration.

“Killbot to Keith!”

A shock ran through his body and he failed to regain his composure. Lance had nudged him with his shoulder, fully leaning into his space, with no signs of withdrawal.

Lance was now curiously watching him, head tilted to catch Keith’s face underneath his hair.

His arm burned, the body heat sending Keith into such a comfort, he had to fight demons not to give in to the tranquility and fully lean into the touch, embarrassing himself into the next galaxy.

“I… Sorry, yeah… I’m ready.” Keith deserved a medal for remembering words at all, “Were you saying something?”

Meanwhile, Lance was struggling with whatever was happening in Keith’s head. One moment, the boy was rushing with adrenaline, supposedly ready to kick Lance’s ass, the next, he can’t move nor talk, paralyzed in an unexplainable haze.

He won’t ever be able to figure Keith out.

“Oh, just making sure you’re not off your high horse yet. More height to kick you down from.” He instinctively went for a smirk but then reconsidered. Relax—he had to keep Hunk’s words in mind—sincere and direct, clear about intentions.

Okay, okay, next time, definitely, he thought, pressing the button on the controller, ready to roll.

Keith was dumbfounded. He had lucked out with Pidge earlier but Lance was just as good and he was fresh out of luck.

“And… That’s how it’s done. Thank you, thank you,” he was now bowing to the imaginary audience, dragging out his act.

“Okay, we get it. Whatever. It’s late anyway. I’ve been playing this for hours. Obviously I’m not at my best.”

Lance caught all the positive energy leaving Keith and immediately changed his tone, “Hey, come on, you weren’t that bad,” he nudged Keith yet again, offering him a smile.

Somehow, that made Keith angrier. “I don’t need your pity, Lance,” he spat.

“No, I’m serious! You were way better at it than what I remember from last time.” Keith held his gaze for a moment. Okay, Lance. Flattery goes a long way. You got this. “Actually… I was really impressed by the finishing blast you pulled on the level before this one. Can’t figure out how you did it. Maybe…” Lance was putting his dignity on the line, never having imagined he would ask something like this from his proclaimed rival but the pay-off would be worth it. Keith wasn’t just his rival, after all. “Maybe, you could show me how? We could stay and hang out for a bit longer?”

He intensely wanted to hold Keith’s hand at that moment, failing to even hold back his fingers from reaching out just a little.

Keith froze for a moment, eyes shining as if witnessing a miracle.

Lance’s heart did somersaults in his chest.

If Keith kept looking at him like that, he would never direct a single word of insult or offense at him ever again. He would never let him lose at anything if he could help it. Never disagree with him. Go to the ends of the world for him. Defeat all the Galra single-handedly so Keith could have his freedom and do whatever he pleased.

How was he real? How was it fair to Lance that Keith was real and right next to him and looking at him with the kindest eyes and his mouth open just the smallest bit and his breath caught between his lips and—

And Lance had no right to any of it.

With a sharp pain in his chest, he retracted his fingers.

Something in Keith shifted, the gentle gaze quickly morphing into his signature annoyed expression, a hint of unusual darkness in his eyes. “Wow, for a second there I almost believed you.”

“What? What do you mean believed? Why would I lie about this?”

“You would never willingly be this vulnerable, Lance. We both know it. This isn’t funny.”

How many times had Keith wished that that weren’t the case. That Lance was able to act maturely about emotions. Maybe then Keith would even consider talking to him about his years of harbored feelings.

Pot and kettle, unfortunately. It wasn’t really his place to complain about incompetence in expressing vulnerability.

“You think I’m that one dimensional?” Lance’s mind, on the other hand, had started blaring out alarms. He was too offended to attempt any further action on his previously intended endeavors.

“You’re twisting my words. That’s not what I meant.”

“Sure. Whatever. See if I care.” He threw his controller onto the couch and made his way out, leaving Keith a clutter of emotions.

 - - -

“Alright, I’m gonna call it there, guys. Good job today.” Shiro wrapped up their training, to everyone’s very vocal relief. He’d been giving them a hard time lately because of a few close encounters.

“Thank God. I don’t think I’d be able to move my arms for the next 24 hours if we trained for a second longer.”

Pidge, trying to catch their breath, pointed towards Lance in agreement.

“You’ll be fine, just get some rest. This isn’t the first nor the last time we’re having intensive trainings.”

“What if I lose my motor skills, Shiro? Who’d be feeding me dinner tonight?!”

“Quit the dramatics, Lance,” like clockwork, came Keith’s unmistakable annoyance. “You won’t go hungry. If you can’t eat tonight, I’ll make sure to help you out by throwing goo at your face. Surely our sharpshooter will catch all of it just fine?” A hint of mischief was now evident in his voice.

“You bet your ass I can!” Lance squinted at him, “Is that a challenge, Mullet?”

The response came with an exhausted groan, “It’s not a mullet!”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy.”

The word made Keith want to strangle Lance. 

Every time. 

Buddy.

Whatever.

Stupid Lance with his stupid words.

Buddy.

He wasn’t Lance’s buddy.

He wanted to shove Lance against a wall and make out with him till he forgot every word he’d ever said in his life.

He didn’t want to be his goddamn buddy.

Keith had gotten himself worked up as usual. Lance didn’t even need to do anything and his mind would already run laps with frustration. And he would end up overworking his body in trainings just to get it all out of his system.

The conversation already forgotten, everyone had made their way to the changing rooms to get out of their sweaty armor and let the hot water consume them.

“Man, Shiro’s crazy.”

Keith was aware of a distant conversation happening between Hunk and Lance but that comment rang in his ears, as he put on a clean shirt.

Protectiveness quickly filled him. Shiro had been there for him countless times, had actively stood up for him a million more. He wasn’t about to let this slide.

Crossing his arms, he raised a brow, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just saying,” he shrugged, almost done dressing up, reaching for his vest. “He’s got the physique of a greek god and thinks everyone can keep up with his stamina.”

The description made Keith a bit tense.

“Yeah, the guy is pure muscle,” Lance pitched in. “Ugh, what I wouldn’t give to have a body like that. Imagine how easy it would be to pull anyone. Won’t even have to flirt! Just show off those guns, pair it with a classic wink, and you’re set!” He proceeded to inspect his own muscles, then put on a whole performance, still shirtless after the shower.

That threw Keith into a new spiral straight away. As much as he wanted to lose himself in the free show Lance was offering—which would feed his dreams for days to come—he couldn’t shake off Shiro being brought up in the same context.

Sure, he admired the man’s build, but he strictly viewed him as an older brother. No one wanted to hear sexual comments about their siblings.

His discomfort must’ve been evident, as Lance examined him curiously. “What? What’s wrong now?”

“Nothing.” He shot quickly.

Through his peripheral, he noticed Hunk run out of the room with a quiet curse, as his wrist watch went off.

Meanwhile, Lance poked at his side, squinting again, as if trying hard enough would actually get him a tour inside Keith’s mind. “You jealous of Shiro or something?”

“Just drop it, Lance.” He swatted at the finger prodding him. He did not need a shirtless Lance making contact with his own mostly bare arms on top of his current meltdown.

“You know, Mullet,” Lance summoned an impressive amount of confidence in record speed, extending his arm around Keith’s shoulders and leaning into his ear, “you’re not so bad yourself.”

Red.

Code red.

He was ejecting himself out of the nearest window.

Into the freezing nothingness.

Maybe then his urges would stay dormant.

He made the mistake of instinctively turning to face Lance and got greeted by his million-dollar smirk.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Lance.

Fucking Lance.

Oh, God.

He was sure he’d never been more overstimulated in his life.

Lance’s scent was suffocating. His bare skin around him more than it ever had been. His breath so close to his ear, he could practically feel it on his neck. His heart was rushing to win the race of the century, and his blood working overtime, painting his whole face red, raising his body temperature to rival the Sun.

Searching for any ounce of sanity left to remember how to do anything, he realized he hadn’t taken a breath in too long.

Unfortunately, his inhale came as a gasp instead. It didn’t help his situation that he was still holding intense eye contact with Lance.

The latter’s eyes glinted with something deep that Keith didn’t have time to process at the moment. In fact, his brain had lost all capability to process anything, which led him to unabashedly drop his eyes to Lance’s lips.

He could swear he heard Lance choke.

There were still traces of water on his face, a few strands of wet hair sticking to his forehead. 

Lance was quite literally glowing.

You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

“Keith?”

His name echoed in this head, through a barely audible whisper.

Panic quickly overtook him as he shoved Lance’s arm away and turned his back towards the paladin, rummaging through his bag just to do something with himself.

Still caught in a stupor, he had no idea how to respond, mind and body too occupied trying not to combust on the spot.

“So, I’ll take it the muscle show works as anticipated?” Lance offered softly to clear out the tension.

The words hit him like a train, completely derailing from Lance’s intended direction.

He was just a test subject?

Why was he even questioning this, of course Lance was just experimenting on him. It was clear as day.

Why did he even think otherwise in the first place.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Stupid Keith.

Stupid Keith.

Stupid Lance!

That inconsiderate, self-centered—

“Yeah, you got nothing to worry about. The girls will line up the second they see your divine build,” he bit with a touch of venom.

As he turned to leave, he found Lance astounded, to his surprise.

“Huh?”

Keith wasn’t planning on humoring him any longer, however. He beelined out of the room, reminding his body to function and catch up on his breath.

After making sure he was out of hearing range, he found himself running at full speed to his room.

Within the safety of his closed door, he sank to the floor and let himself detonate. 

 - - -

Lance had no idea what happened in the changing room. 

He had been clear about his intentions and was unmistakably flirting with Keith. What had gone wrong? How in the world could Keith misread the situation? Lance definitely noticed him staring during the stupid muscle show and when he had an arm around his shoulder, so what the hell?

He had even raised his hopes because he swore he saw Keith glance at his lips.

What wouldn’t he do just for one kiss.

What did he have to do?!

If only Keith would just tell him.

A small hint.

Anything.

He collapsed onto his bed, pulling at his hair.

Keith was so smart yet so clueless.

Or was he just playing Lance?

No. He wouldn’t.

Right?

He wouldn’t. He was far too blunt and straightforward to toy with people’s emotions.

Wait… Did he think Lance was straight…? He had only mentioned girls.

Lance prayed that wasn’t the case, otherwise he was in for more work than he had planned.

Surely he’d flirted with a guy in front of the team before? He could hint at his sexuality by complimenting the next alien they meet. Yeah. Great plan.

Hold.

Hunk had said he needed to stop flirting with people, Keith could think he wasn’t interested in him. 

So what was he supposed to do? A casual, hey guys, everyone remembers I’m bi right? Cool, cool, cool.

God.

This sucked.

He needed to come up with something. Soon.

The following morning, Allura briefed the team on an upcoming planet visit to secure a new alliance. They got the usual rundown of the rules: don’t offend anyone, don’t get drunk, don’t touch any unknown substances you don’t recognize, look non-threatening yet capable, don’t flirt with princesses unless you want to stay on the planet forever (with a pointed stare at Lance), and so on.

As anticipated, a party was held to welcome the Paladins of Voltron. Pidge and Lance had to be forced to swear to Allura and Shiro that they wouldn’t cause any interplanetary conflicts, given their track record.

Keith was just told to unwind and enjoy himself. And he tried, to the best of his efforts.

Considering the recent shitshow with Lance, he really needed a distraction. Ideally something that would make him magically lose all his feelings towards the blue paladin.

He was currently by the drinks table, contemplating if the possibility of an upset stomach was worth the intriguing mixes of whatever those glasses held.

“May I recommend a drink?” Keith heard a voice from behind. He turned to find two of the planet’s inhabitants smiling towards him. He also spotted Lance glaring at him from not too far away and now approaching at a concerning speed.

“I’m Ulan, this is Val.”

And Lance was already by their table somehow. Keith had to focus on the conversation before he lost them completely.

“You probably don’t remember us but—“

Keith cut him off, “No, I remember. You greeted us when we landed, right? With the guides?”

“Yes,” Ulan added with an appreciative smile and leaned a bit closer, “glad to have made an impression,” he fixed into Keith’s eyes, his now coy expression leaving no room for confusion around his intentions.

Keith wasn’t used to people making advances towards him so this caught him by surprise, causing his cheeks to slowly color. 

“I, uh,” his first instinct was to reject and move on, too caught up in his delusions of a future with Lance. But he’d told himself he’d try to enjoy the party. Plus, Lance had been meaner than usual lately, he didn’t deserve any consideration at the moment, so Keith offered the guy a small smile. “I’d take your drink recommendation, if you’re still offering. You seem like you know how to have fun.”

What the actual hell was happening?

Lance was going into psychosis.

Keith was flirting?

Keith was flirting?

With a guy that’s not Lance, worst of all?

So, what, Keith was capable of emotional connection, he just didn’t give two shits about Lance? He did like people, contrary to common belief, he just wasn’t interested… in Lance…?

No.

There was no time to spiral into this at the moment. 

He needed to do something, this was a total disaster. He needed to have Keith’s attention. At all times preferably, but the current moment was the priority.

Suddenly, he remembered the second guy standing there. “Vae, right?” Lance painted his face with his most innocent smile, leaning into the guy’s space.

Keith, who was taking a glass from Ulan to get a taste, had now curiously turned to Lance’s direction.

Great, keep your eyes here. What’s so great about that guy anyway?

“Uh, it’s Val, but yeah. It’s an honor to get to meet you personally, Blue Paladin.”

“Please, call me Lance.” A grin now brightening his face, he held brief eye contact with a puzzled Keith, as if trying to communicate something across, then turned back to his temporary companion, “Could you recommend me a drink while we’re at it? I need to grab a glass before my hands find something else to occupy themselves with.” Voice confident, he found his hand on Val’s arm, softly pressing into his muscles.

Keith could not believe what he just witnessed.

He was frozen in place, jaw on the floor. The nerve of him.

The guy sounded understandably flustered, “Of course! Let’s find you something to drink!” He led Lance closer to the end of the table, away from the other pair.

Lance managed to throw another glance at Keith before getting himself busy with the guy.

What.

The fuck.

Was Lance’s problem.

He was used to dismissing Lance’s childish antics but he won’t tolerate this.

Previous irritation and confusion quickly morphed into hot rage as he handed his drink to Ulan and excused himself.

He took quick steps towards the two, not breaking his glare from Lance. Reaching them, he clutched Lance’s arm, “Deepest apologies for interrupting this lovely moment but I need to speak with Lance privately, it’s urgent.”

“Oh, I hope everything is okay? Please, go ahe—“

Keith did not bother for what’s-his-name to finish his sentence. He immediately dragged Lance away, into a dark corner where no-one would notice them.

“You know, Keith, that was very rude of you.” Lance started, looking proud of himself.

“What the hell is your problem, Lance?” Voice frustrated and heavier than usual, he waved his arms around in anger, not knowing what to do with them. Frankly, he felt on the verge of tears from the exhaustion accumulated through having to deal with Lance lately.

“Why would you think I have a problem?” He played dumb but Keith knew it was an act. “All I did was flirt a little bit. Is this not a free country? Or planet, I guess. Does this planet have countries? Where are we?” He had a tendency of derailing. Unfortunately, Keith was on his last nerve.

“Shut up! You know damn well what I mean. All this— this—“ he flapped his arms around again looking for an answer.

What was it exactly?

What was bothering him so much?

This was infuriating, yes. But why? Why was Lance flirting with a guy riling him up… 

With a guy…?

Keith realized at that moment that he gave himself no time at all to process any of what had happened but just acted on a whim. Shoot first, right?

Well, Lance didn’t have any reason to be flirting with guys so, what, was he mocking Keith? For trying to open up to someone and maybe have fun?

Lance looked unimpressed by the silent confrontation and that got Keith back up running.

“Were you seriously mocking me?”

“Huh.”

“God forbid Keith talks to anyone out of his own volition. An attractive guy, no less. God forbid I show an ounce of vulnerability in front of someone and Mr. Everything’s A Joke Opportunity has to get his hands on it.”

“What…”

“What do you mean, what.”

“I mean, what are you even talking about?”

“Lance, you used the same fucking line! Recommend me a drink too, could you flutter your eyelashes any harder? What was it if not mockery? Jealousy?”

Lance let out a small involuntary gasp, feeling cornered and exposed.

Keith knew.

He knew.

All this time and effort into getting him to know and now he knew and it was the actual worst.

Who had told him to do this again?

Keith took the reaction and following silence as confirmation, “Seriously? You were jealous? I can’t have one person to myself? All the women in the galaxy weren’t enough, you needed the guys’ attention too?”

What.

“What the fuck?”

“Just because one guy approached me instead, for possibly the first time, you had to make a scene? Were you trying to one-up me?”

Oh, so Keith thought Lance was jealous of— So he doesn’t know. His head started hurting.

“What scene? Are you insane? If anyone made a scene it was you, by dragging me away and leaving both of them with no explanation. And getting drinks with people is literally one of the most common ways to initiate a conversation, doesn’t mean I was copying you.” Keith tried to get a word in but Lance pushed a finger into his chest. “And what kind of bi-phobic bullshit is “not enough attention from women,” are you serious? I really expected better from you.”

Lance was properly hurt and disappointed. He’d had really high hopes with Keith. And now here he was, insulted and yelled at for being himself.

He choked on his own words.

“That came off wrong, I didn’t mean it… like that…” Hold.

Had he heard him correctly?

“Are…” His voice was much quieter now, scared to actually say it out loud. “Are you… bi?”

“Yes, idiot. How much more clueless can you get? For a paladin with fast reflexes you’re really slow sometimes.”

So. Just to sum up.

This meant, Lance flirted with guys.

Not to mock Keith or show off to him or ruin his night. Because he simply wanted to.

In the current reality.

Where Keith existed.

In fact, this implied Lance did more than just flirt with guys…

Absolutely not. He couldn’t go there. At least not in the middle of an argument he himself had started. Maybe he could properly process this chain of thought later when he was alone in his r—

“Hello?” Fingers were snapping in front of his face.

“Uh—“ What were they talking about again? 

“We’ve been a team for how long now, have you seriously not noticed this whole time? Are you really that self-absorbed?” Lance was standing with his arms crossed, looking accusatorially.

Keith would’ve been speechless if not for the anger driving him, so he managed to pull his thoughts together. “Self-absorbed? Did it ever occur to you that not everything revolves around you? I didn’t know because I don’t watch you 24/7,” debatable, “I don’t obsess over you to notice every single detail,” lie. “So, I’m sorry, Lance, but I don’t pay attention every time you flirt with people—“ another lie, “—to check what their gender is.”

The last part was truthful. He would get too riled up the second Lance approached anyone at parties to stay and observe. In fact, he’d avoid looking at Lance for the rest of the day.

“If anything, you’re the one who’s genuinely obsessed with me.”

Lance’s eyes widened in disbelief.

And maybe also in terror of being exposed.

“What?!” he squealed.

“You’re the one insisting on the constant stupid rivalry with me.” He put a hand on his own chest to gesture along with his words but truthfully he was holding his heart in place so it wouldn’t cease from depletion. “It’s like you can’t do anything by yourself and have to stay in close proximity with me or you’ll die or something. You literally sprinted to me when you saw me flirting with someone. Just so you could do it—“ he was searching for words, looking into Lance’s eyes as if it would give him all the answers, “—better?” His hands tightened around his chest as he went on, “I don’t understand you. What do you want from me?”

Lance was a wounded animal being kicked from all sides. Why had Hunk pushed him to talk to Keith in the first place? This was all his fault. Lance could be flirting with a random person right now and finishing it up with an inconsequential banter with Keith.

No, This wasn’t Hunk’s fault. This was his stupid feelings’ fault which ultimately boils down to being Keith’s fault.

Yeah, Keith’s fault. Everything as always.

Stupid Keith with his greasy mullet. 

Unfortunately, the Keith in question was currently expecting an answer that Lance couldn’t give.

“What? Do you not know either? Are you just messing with me for fun? Are you bored?”

“You said it yourself: ever thought that not everything I do is about you?!”

Well, he started muttering, “This one was about you but that’s not the point.” He sighed. “I’m not trying to be better than you, I’m just…” What was the point of this conversation? Not like he was going to confess. Hence, Keith would misunderstand him no matter how he continued now.

Maybe it was better to just distance himself from Keith.

But you can’t do that, you need to be able to form Voltron, the voice in his head ever so helpful.

We’ve been forming Voltron just great with him hating me and me keeping this secret, so some distance can’t really make it any worse.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

Keith did not take that for an answer. “You can’t just leave. Tell me what’s happening. Tell me why you’re acting this way. How can I put a stop to this because I’m so tired of this, Lance.” And he did look it. He reached for Lance’s shoulder, a new vulnerability in his eyes holding place for the tears threatening to form, “I’m willing to give us a fresh start and—“ He looked pained beyond belief, like he was hoping the planet would explode and let him die instead of finishing the sentence, “and be your… friend.” He audibly choked on the last word, the hand on Lance’s shoulder now shaking.

Wow. It physically hurts him to even say he wants to be friends. That’s just great.

“You just need to let me.” Lance had never seen him look so earnest. “And stop being an asshole. Please, can you quit this childish feud with me. I’d actually like to get to be your friend.”

Keith was tired? Well, Lance was too. 

“I don’t want you to be my friend.”

He had a million different emotions rushing through him at full speed, not letting him decipher any of them. He didn’t have the energy to anymore either.

He saw hurt strike Keith’s face, with a hint of tears, which only made his eyes shine brighter. God, he was so beautiful.

He grabbed Keith’s outstretched arm and pulled on it like a lifeline. “I can’t be friends with you, Keith. I can’t explain why, so please don’t ask.”

Okay, Keith. This is fine.

This is better. Yeah. If you’re not friends, there’s less time spent together and less pining and less energy spent on trying not to combust from overflow of emotions every time you look into his eyes. Yeah.

He was trying to process the information not even thinking about coming up with a response. That is when he felt warm hands leave him.

“Lance…”

“Please don’t.” Lance’s fingers dig into the soft fabric on his own arms.

“Lance, what the hell am I supposed to do with that information if you won’t even explain so I can do better. If you hate me that much, at least have the decency to tell me why so I can do better, so we can stay a team.”

Lance scoffs, “You can’t do better, Keith. You’re already perfect.”

“Cut the sarcasm. I’m trying to have a productive conversation.”

“I wasn’t being sarcastic,” he mutters, barely audible.

“What was that?”

“I was being genuine.” Now he was looking everywhere but Keith’s face. “Keith, I don’t know how to be friends with you because it hurts me so much. Every day I spend with you is a year off my life emotionally.”

Keith was breathless. The worst kind. “I— Wow. Why would you ever even say—?”

“Would you let me finish!” Lance cut him off, fidgeting with his sleeves. “It pains me because I have to be around you but never with you. I have to spend time with you but be just someone from the team. I have to watch you risk your life and not be able to send a kiss for luck, watch you flirt with people and know I’m not entitled to you, watch you struggle to make connections with people and not be able to help you work through it.”

Keith was starting to shake from the anxiety of what this could mean. No jumping to conclusions because Lance was tricky. Well, everyone was tricky. Understanding people was hard. “Get to your point, I’m begging you.”

“Keith…”

Lance was pleading with his eyes but it had been a long day and Keith could not afford another misunderstanding. He did not shake the determined look off his face. 

“Being friends with you is torture, Keith. I’m constantly pretending I don’t want to push you against a wall and shut you up. I’m always getting lost in daydreams looking at your face, wondering how it’s possible to be that breathtaking, then having to scramble for excuses for not paying attention. Being friends is torture because it will never be enough for me.” He looked straight into Keith’s eyes like the entire universe was hiding behind them. 

Meanwhile, Keith was looking for air, trying to keep the drink he had earlier to stay down.

This was too much for him. This couldn’t be real, could it? He attempted to find an answer from Lance’s demeanor but he was faced with sincerity and clear desperation.

“Lance, if you’re fucking with me, I’ll hit you so hard and never speak to you again, I swear.”

“I’m not! I’m not joking. You can ask Hunk, he’s known since the Garisson.”

“Since what?”

“Yeah, man,” a dry laugh escapes him, “I’ve kinda been miserably into you since the old days.”

None of this made any sense. Why would Lance like him, no less since the Garisson. He wondered if Coran or Pidge had any easy-access painkillers. 

“What are you talking about, this can’t be right. You try to get with everyone. You’re not “into” me.”

“Ugh, you can’t tell me how I do or don’t feel, Keith. I know my feelings and I’m telling you they’re all for you!”

“Lance, swear to me right now that you’re not lying. I can’t have you playing with me about this. You don’t understand the severity of this situation.”

“Whoa, trust me, I’ve been doing my damn best not to draw blood this whole time. I understand the severity. And, yeah, I swear.”

He could not be taking any chances, which is why he had Lance in a death grip by his shoulders, forcing his tone into him. “You swear?” His life depended on this. Or at least it seemed so in the moment.

“Yes,” Lance couldn’t help a small laugh, “I really really like you. I swear.” 

Keith exhaled a long breath for what felt like the first time that evening. Panting, his mouth slowly formed into a smile, giving space for laughter. 

“I’m feeling pretty humiliated right now if I’m honest.”

Keith’s hands made their way to cup the blue paladin’s face. They locked eyes with one last choked laugh, “Lance.”

And for the first time he let himself fully enjoy the stars in Lances eyes. All the galaxies he’d seen and nothing compared to the mesmerizing glow of that blue.

“I’ve liked you for so long, Lance.” Laughter kept falling out. “I can actually say that now! I can’t believe I can let myself really look at you now.” He caressed the red cheeks, feeling them get hotter by each word.

Unexpectedly, Lance lightly punched him, no actual threat behind it. “What the hell, Keith! Why did you never tell me anything? Are you stupid? We could’ve been together this whole time!”

“Well, you didn’t either. And don’t call me stupid. Doesn’t sound like a good start to a relationship.”

He might as well have strangled Lance with how the latter reacted to the implication. “Come again?”

“I mean, that’s how it works right? I like you, you like me. Wouldn’t make sense not to start a relationship.”

Lance did not look impressed. “And they say romance is dead.”

“You’re welcome to do all the romancing given your colorful experience.” A smirk started forming around his lips, never able to resist a taunt.

“Oh, that’s how it is? Okay, I see. Never live anything down, would you.”

It became apparent to Keith that nothing would really change in their dynamic. Neither would quit the small jabs at every opportunity. They never really held any malice anyway. Except, now neither would have to hide the unending desire of being engulfed in each other.

Lance pulled his arm, leading him back to the drinks, “Let’s go get drunk and make out.” Giddiness was flowing all around him.

“Uh, I’d rather remember it.”

“Fine, no drinks, nearest closet.”

Keith had to admit, the giddiness was contagious. Or he was just truly happy for the first time in a very long while.

“Lead the way.”