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Bruce never locked the door to his room. To understand what happened next, you had to keep in mind this: Bruce never closed it, because he knew that one of his children, sooner or later, would need him.
Gone were the days when Dick had nightmares and asked to sleep in the same bed as him, or when Jason felt sick and needed him, or Tim found himself at the foot of the bed, staring at him to ask for a room because his parents had left again, and he didn't want to be alone.
But there was Damian, who came in before each patrol. Duke, who still had problems with his powers at times. Cass and Steph, who just wanted to spend time with him. Heck, sometimes just Selina would come by to say hello, without anything happening, because apparently, they had become friends.
It didn't escape him the irony that a paranoid man like him, who thought of all kinds of scenarios, never thought of ever closing his bedroom door.
But that was his family, and Bruce had always had a soft spot for his family.
That's how he and Clark had found themselves in that situation: both on his bed, Bruce sitting on Clark's thighs, his shirt pulled down to his shoulders, Clark's hands in his pants, purple bruises on his neck and chest, and his children standing in the doorway. Because apparently no one thought that he should knock anymore, or because they believed that there was no chance for him to have company in his room, he didn't know which was more depressing.
The boys were in civilian clothes, so it must have been one of the rare lacklustre evenings that had made one of them (Dick, probably) decide that it was a good idea to go home early and organise a movie night for everyone, and not to wait for him but to call him directly.
It was a nice thought. But that was definitely not the right time.
The silence was going on too long; the boys had petrified expressions, as if their minds had not yet fully registered what had happened. Thank goodness the girls weren't there: Bruce didn't want to lose the bit of respect that Cassandra had for him.
"Hi everyone," Clark was the first to talk, trying to ease the tension, as if they hadn't just seen where his hands were until a few seconds before.
Fortunately, Dick somehow managed to smile, jovial (and perhaps he was the only one who was happy with what had happened; he had always wished Clark were his stepfather), "Hi, Clark..."
Damian didn't let him finish. He tried to leap forward, but Dick grabbed him just in time for the scruff of the neck, "You! I will kill you, filthy..."
"Not now, Dami," Dick tried to calm him down, but had the opposite effect, and the eleven-year-old became, if possible, even more furious, "How dare you seduce father, you alien!"
"Like Bruce needs to be seduced," Jason muttered, getting a scowl from Dick and an elbow from Duke.
Tim blinked slowly, then moaned, "Oh my god! I'm going to carve my eyes out. My eyes! My damn eyes!"
"Richard, let me go! I have to challenge the alien to a duel! Our family's honour is at stake!"
"Dami, no..."
"This is going to be my new origin story as a super villain. Thank you so much, Bruce."
"Um, guys, maybe we should leave them alone..."
"No way, Thomas! This is an offence that must be washed with blood and..."
Bruce closed his eyes and groaned. This was not how he had planned his evening. It was not like that at all.
And just when she thought things couldn't get any worse, she heard Stephanie's voice ask from the hallway, "Hey, why are you taking so long? Bruce hasn't come back yet?"
Tim was the first to react. He took the opportunity to walk away from there and yell, "IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR SANITY, DON'T GO THERE STEPH! I AM TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE! FOR LIFE!"
He couldn't hear what else the two were saying to each other, but Bruce didn't particularly want to find out.
"Oh well, that was fun," Dick chirped, grabbing Damian in a grip that would have made any rugby player envious, "Let's not repeat it, shall we?"
"I agree," Jason and Duke said in unison, as Damian yelled more colourful threats of violence and slashed balls. Talia must have taught him that one.
"We're going, B. You're going to join us or..."
"Nope, your father won't be available for tonight," Clark managed to have the nerve to say, and Bruce didn't know whether to headbutt him or kiss him.
Damian turned so red that Bruce feared he couldn't breathe anymore, while Jason's complexion had turned slightly green.
"Yes, I guess he will be pretty busy..."
"Don't you dare leave him alone with the alien, Richard! Don't dare!"
"Excuse me, Dami," it was clear from Dick's expression that he wasn't at all sorry, "But I've been waiting since I was nine years old for them to do something."
"Did you expect this?" Duke asked, his face expression crumpled.
"Hell, no. I expected to catch them kissing, or something. Anyway, congratulations, Bruce, Clark. We are happy for you!"
"I'm not!" Damian screamed, but Dick proceeded to remove everyone from there after he closed the door properly.
After something like this, no one would have had the strength to continue to... well, to do what you were doing before. Clark, however, resumed kissing his neck, going further down to Bruce's nipples.
"You know right... That they're all going to make fun of us for months?" Bruce gasped, enjoying the sensation of a warm mouth around his right nipple, and moaning so hard that he hoped there wouldn't be children with super hearing at the manor.
"Yep, I'm aware of that."
"You still have time to leave..."
Clark lifted his head from what he was doing and watched Bruce with such intensity that the human almost felt himself melting.
It was already clear from his look that he had made his decision.
"No way," and he joyfully returned to dealing with Bruce.
It was a long night. Fortunately, no one came to his room even once.