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Shen Yuan sometimes wished that he was back in his first life, where he would be comfortable in bed and able to call his siblings. He could see his parents, have the internet and showers. Alas, he wasn't there, he was stuck in one of his least favorite novels, and his least favorite character. The scum disciple Shen Yuan of Luo Binghe and Shen Jiu, who had been hiding that he was a heavenly demon ever since the dream demon arc. Shen Yuan had arrived in this body a few years before that, and sadly the system he was stuck with made it so hard for him to do anything but go along with canon. Well, kind of. He ended up with without a cure a couple years ago, and then moved in with his Shizun and Shixiong. They had taken care of him, and let him live happily until it came to the abyss opening.

For a second, Shen Yuan thought that maybe, just maybe, he had changed the story. He thought that he did good enough to show them that he was more human than demon... Instead, his Shizun had stabbed into his chest and shoved Shen Yuan into the maw of the crack in the ground. Shen Yuan couldn't deny that he was hurting, he was so upset that they didn't see him as the teen who had lived with them, but as the demon he had been forced to be. Protagonist halo to hell, he was lucky he survived the beginning in the abyss with the help of the system and knowledge from reading the book. He had been torn open more times than he could count, had a limb torn off, eaten things that he would never put in his mouth again, and cleaned himself in acidic ponds of water when his foreknowledge failed him.

He would endure it, he could do it because he had no other choice. Of course when he found Xin Mo, the sword barely affected him like it did to the original goods. Sure, he was already sad and it just made him more upset, but he supposes that he was a lot older and more level headed than a teenager who got pushed into somewhere after being treated like shit for years. Shen Yuan couldn't deny that he would crash out too. Although, his heart ached when he thought of Luo Binghe and Shen Jiu. He was still reeling from the fact of how easy it was for them to kick him into hell, and act like they didn't know him.

He lived, he had no choice but to live through all that had happened, but it was so hard sometimes. He still promised himself that he wouldn't go along with canon, and he had stuck to that very well. He didn't go to the demon realm and take anything over. He didn't fight Mobei Jun, and he would never take revenge on his Shizun and Shixiong for what happened. Even though he was hurting, he didn't want to do something so gory to the men that helped him so much at the beginning of his transmigration. Shen Yuan was also just... not that kind of person. He had given it a thought when he first got into the abyss, but ended up crying for hours over the mere thought of bringing either his Shizun and Shixiong harm. 

Now, Shen Yuan panted as he tossed Xin Mo to the side as he stepped through the portal, his breathing hard through his mouth as his dirty lungs took in the clean air from the realm he so missed. It was so bright compared to the darkness of the hell he had been in, even if it was night and all he could do was close his eyes and take in everything. The gentle breeze, bugs talking, and the movement from animals that roamed the forest he had landed in. It smelled so sweet and clean, nothing like the smoke and rotting scent he had been stuck in. His bare feet dug into the fluffy grass, tilting his head back with a muffled sob. Fuck, he missed this so much. He missed the feeling of being human, of having a hand slide through his hair when he did something good, of the sun he got to see while sword training. Waking up to the scent of food being cooked in the early mornings, and the harshness of the bitter tea his Shizun liked in his mouth. Fuck, he even missed Ming Fan. He missed his Shidi's and Shixiong's. Missed the classes he could've been taking, the night hunts, the lessons, everything. Fuck, he even missed that hack of an author who said that he wouldn't help Shen Yuan because is wasn't canon. But most of all, he missed the normal days in the bamboo house. When the wind would blow in through the open window, and he was able to sit between his Shixiong's thighs while he braided his hair for sleeping. His Shizun tapping his chin with his fan because he grew too tall to have the top of his head patted with no work.

Shen Yuan missed everything about being human, but he couldn't be that anymore. He couldn't be an "Innocent" disciple anymore, and all he could be was a demon. The thought of it made him finally quit his sobbing, and he leaned down to pick up Xin Mo off of the grass. He weighed the evil sword in his hands, and sliced it through the thin air to open a little pocket world. He tossed the sword inside for safe keeping, and began to walk away while the system screamed at him.

[Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! User has completed the mission: The Abyss, and has been rewarded with a total of 10,000 B-Points! User has unlocked new abilities, such as not following the story, new ending, and another canon divergence storyline.]

Shen Yuan folded his lanky arms, staring at the green screen with nothing but hate. This thing had ruined him, but if it didn't bring him to this world, he wouldn't be able to meet Shen Jiu and Luo Binghe... So, that was the only thing he could be grateful for in these circumstances. Shen Yuan sighed, digging his toes into the grass and yanking out some of the strands between them. "Can this one see his relationship charts?"

[Certainly! 

Relationship status with character SHEN JIU: -15,000 R-points. 1,200 L-Points

Relationship status with character LUO BINGHE: -16,000 R-Points. 4,600 L-Points

Relationship status with-]

Shen Yuan waved his hand, dropping his head into his fingers to rub the headache coming on away. He hated talking to this thing. "What are L points. I know that the R points is how much they like me, but what is this new one I never knew about?"

[Good question, User! L-Points have been added after the post-abyss update. L-points is the amount of affection that the character holds for User, they are determined by a character data analysis that this system runs every few months. Last updated: 15 days, 3 hours, 26 minutes, and 49 seconds ago.]

Oh, that just made his heart clench harder. He was out here in the middle of nowhere in robes that didn't even go below his knees, covered in crusted blood and definitely something that smelled sour. He was still healing his burnt palms from holding that demonic sword, and the smell of cooking meat was making the fangs he wouldn't let down ache where they sat in his gums. But no, he wasn't dumb, and he wasn't going to bite his hand off and eat it just because he was hungry (Even though that was probably better than eating a handful of fairies that he had found when he was at his lowest. He had sat there for days full of guilt before hunger got the best of him and he ate another handful of screaming fairies.). Shen Yuan tugged at his ripped up robes, and grimaced at the smell that was tinging the back of his burnt nose. Fuck, he needed to find some clothes and bathe before he died from the scent of himself. If he wanted to see people, he would have to actually look and act like a person.

---

Life in the abyss had been terrible, and the lowest point of his life. It hadn't been when he woke up freshly transmigrated, with whip marks on his back from a beating he didn't know why he got. It wasn't the months that came after that when he was treated like a pest in a sect that was supposed to help disciples become great cultivators. No, it had been when he was all alone.

When he first got there with a deep cut right between his ribs that somehow managed to miss his heart and anything else, he had laid on the ground while looking up at the place he had fallen from. He could still see a crack of light at that point while choking up blood, hands shaking as one went to the back of his head, and the other to the burning hole that had been made at his chest. He could barely feel the wetness of his own blood, biting on his lip to keep in the terrified wails because that would be a dumb idea. The monsters and demons around him were shooting for the opening that he had fallen through, too busy to look at him for a meal. He was just ignored, but he couldn't convince himself to get up and flee to safety. It was the worst pain he had felt in his entire existence living. Not the pounding from his cracked skull, not the bend of his broken legs, and not the blood mites squirming around inside to heal him from the inside out. The pain came from the middle of his chest where it burned, not with the pain from the cut, but the hurt from being thrown away.

Didn't he mean something to his Shizun and Shixiong? Wasn't he a good disciple? Why was he so easily given up over something he couldn't control?

When the gaping mouth of the abyss closed, above him, Shen Yuan closed his eyes with a sad whine. He couldn't do this, he couldn't think of doing this, but he had to if he wanted to live and go back to tell them that he was sorry. So, he hauled his ass up, with nothing but the clothes on his back and the broken bracelet of beads from the Immortal Alliance conference to run in any direction. The demons were still distracted for the longest time, so it was easier than he thought it would be to find an empty cave and get inside. He panted with sobs the whole time, going deeper and deeper into the eternal darkness of the cave until he found a space open enough to sit down and panic (He wasn't dumb, he wasn't going to sit in the smallest part of the place, because that would make it easier to get cornered and killed. Not like he could die anyways, the dumb protagonist halo was hanging over his head to keep him from doing that.

With the pain aching his whole body, but especially his heat, he kind of wished that he did die when he fell. 

---

Months into him being into the abyss, he couldn't count how many times that he had almost died. He was hungry, thirsty, and way too fucking tired to keep doing this. His arm was ripped off at the moment, and the burning of the blood mites making a new limb for him was so hot that he had to find the nearest pond to sit in. He ended up at one of the rare safe ponds that he had found, that was owned by a siren woman. She let Shen Yuan sit there for hours, talking to him and exchanging things that he found on his adventures. She was sitting with her wife today (Night? Afternoon? Morning? Shen Yuan wouldn't know, the sun never rose.) both of them tearing into cooked meat with their bare hands when they noticed him approaching their fluorescent blue water, and she jerked her head over. Unfortunately, neither of these women had names, so it was hard to talk to them without calling them the blue and purple one. The purple one had been the one to first help him out so that this could be a safe spot.

Shen Yuan had been running from a huge elephant tarantula, and he had almost died when the thing stomped on his leg. He threw a handful of itchy powder into its eyes to crawl away, and almost got his head stomped had the siren not yanked him into the water. Sure, she almost killed him by biting him, but his poisonous blood was what made her quit eating him. When they broke through to the top, Shen Yuan apologized profusely and killed the parasitic blood inside of her so she knew that he didn't mean any harm. Luckily, she was sweet and just wanted to show her wife what a human looked like.

From then on, Shen Yuan came back here like it was his home. He brought food, jewelry, and little water animals for them to raise as their kids (He was still trying to find one of the many pregnancy aide flowers in this world, because the women wanted a child of their own for the longest time). In return, they let him bathe, fed him some of their cooked food, and sewed him long enough robes when they had their free time. He didn't wear them, saving them for when he left, but they didn't really care.

"Long time no see," The purple tailed siren hummed, wiping the blood from her mouth while he sat down next to the pair of ladies. The blue one, who was very quiet, but at least wasn't so shy now that he had been coming for some time now, scooted closer to dig through his bag to see what he brought to them. "Where have you been, bamboo shoot?"

Shen Yuan scoffed, picking something out of the bag and giving it to the happy blue siren who sang happily while holding her new trinket. It was a shiny bug hair pin that he snatched from the ruins of a castle when he went. "The fact that you know what bamboo is astounds me." He helped the blue one put the pin in her very curly hair, and tucked a lock behind her ear to see how it looked. She smiled, and turned to her wife to show off the pin so that they could coo at each other and kiss each others faces. He didn't speak while they did that, only taking out a few more things before moving onto the qiankun pouch he had made for meat specifically. This time around, he managed to find some falcon toads for them to eat since they didn't eat sea food, and dropped the pile of meat off in the cooling box they put next to their pond. Not that they care much for the cool box since they liked rotted meat, but Shen Yuan didn't and he wanted to try some of this. In the novel, they had compared the meat to chicken...

"Of course I know what bamboo is, you told me about it a thousand times when you start crying about that nasty Shizun and Shixiong of yours. Pah, you're better than me. I cant believe that you don't want to rip their heads off of their shoulders for what they did to you." The purple one mumbled, kissing her wife's cheek and turning back to look at Shen Yuan. She could see that the male was tense, and sighed as he swam closer to hoist herself up onto the dead grass around the pond. She patted his long leg, and tugged at his ripped pants. "Why don't you just take a bite of them? I really want to know if they taste as rotten as they are in their hearts."

Shen Yuan sighed, dropping down onto the grass next to him so that he could kick off his boots and pants. It didn't matter that he was naked around them, it wasn't like their parts were any different or the same since they all had slits. Well, the blue one did have a cock, but she also had tits so... Shen Yuan didn't know. He would have to ask them when he got his hands on paper to write things down. "Shizun and Shixiong aren't bad people, they just... They just didn't want a demon in their sect. This one doesn't blame them since it was me who lied about what I was... I cant even sit here and say that I didn't know I wasn't a demon, because I found out years before they pushed me in." He stuck his feet into the water, shivering as the cool liquid slipped against his sore skin. "This one just wants to... To say sorry to them."

"A-Yuan is too forgiving." The blue one said quietly, wrapping her webbed hands around his leg and scratching little bloody patterns into his skin. He winced, but it didn't hurt too bad when she kissed the cut open skin. "I would've hurt anyone that decided to hurt me. That is why my wife is my wife, she never hurt me, and she makes me good food." The two of them went on to exchange their loving remarks back and forth, and Shen Yuan rubbed his chest where the scar was aching. It was nostalgic to see people acting like Luo Binghe and Shen Jiu, because they used to do the same thing in front of him until he walked off embarrassed. They always made him food after he got shy during those times.

Shen Yuan laid back on the poking grass, tossing an arm over his eyes to block out the glowing blue so he could catch a handful of sleep. He didn't want to stay for too long, before the animals started coming out and trying to eat him because his clothes smelled like blood. The sirens next to him talked a bit quieter, playing with his hair and clothes while he drifted off to sleep. 

He didn't see them much, but his heart ached for them when he had to leave the abyss. As a thank you for them helping him, he had bowed to them while offering a flower of fertility to aide them in pregnancy. It was the first time that he made the sassy purple one cry, and she told him to visit or she would grow legs and drag him back to the abyss screaming. He promised that he would move them to the demon realm when it was time, and they thanked him so happily. It was a bittersweet goodbye, but he knew that it wasn't forever.

After that, he managed to get Xin Mo and leave, but he wanted to go back for the two women who showed him humanity when humans wouldn't. Both of the women accepted him for looking weird, for almost getting them killed, and for being a man. It was hard for Shen Yuan to get away from the only good thing that happened to him since he came into the abyss. Their kindness had been something like his Shizun and Shixiong's, freeing and so sweet.

Now, here he was alone, bathing in a river with glowing fish while trying to scrub the blood that had caked onto his skin. He managed to steal some soap from a nearby town, and shove his lanky body under the fast moving river to do something about the reeking of his body. He grimaced at the new markings on his skin from scars not even his blood mites could fix, and the straight scar in the middle of his chest from when he had been hurt by Xiu Ya piercing into him. Maybe he could get some of these covered up with tattoos? Were those taboo here?

Shen Yuan ran his hands up and down his long legs, up over his bony hips and to his ribs that pushed against the skin. It wasn't like he was too hungry right now, it was just that he wasn't eating enough to look normal in such a tall body. That had been another problem he didn't think he would have to deal with. In his first life, Shen Yuan had been pretty short for a man. He had went about his day with the height of 5'4, and didn't have much of a problem with it. Now, he was well over six feet, and taller than everyone he had some into contact with thus far back in the human realm. A few people had thought he was some sort of angry ghost by how pale his skin was, but he kindly explained to them that he was just sick and didn't get to go outside much.

His eyes began to burn more when it became morning, and he found a cave to settle in while he ate the things he had bought in town. He had used Xin Mo to kill a few beasts and sell the parts, getting enough money to find food, get a sword, sometimes an inn when he got too scared to be outside, and some paper. He kept Xin Mo tucked away in the pocket realm when he got the new sword, and only used it for when he wanted to go back to the abyss to check on the pregnant siren. The blue one was the one who ended up taking, and she didn't even have a bump yet. Shen Yuan made sure to look for any text of how these kind of pregnancies worked, and managed to gather some things from the demon realm and the abyss for her to eat and take.

Ah, he hadn't seen them in a week by now, but he couldn't really go down there when he himself was trying to figure out how to live like a person again. It was hard being alone again, but he managed to not die this far.

For now, he laid his head on the side of the cave he was staying in, and closed his eyes. Maybe he could... Go into his Shizun and Shixiong's dream to see how they were doing? No, that wasn't a good idea. He wouldn't see what he wanted to, and it would only hurt more if he found out how much they truly hated him. The points he had already showed how much they disliked, him, and seeing him alive and well would only just disappoint them. All he truly wanted to do was say sorry for lying, and tell them that he wasn't bad, but he would leave if they really wanted him to go.

He rubbed his aching chest, whining in his head. "Meng Mo?" After a long moment, he heard the annoyed sigh from the demon who he had also grown closer to. He couldn't hide anything from the old man, since he could literally see the system and everything from Shen Yuan's first life. They had grown a lot closer the first time Shen Yuan broke down and said he was going to kill himself, the ghostly man hanging out in his head calming him down enough to talk about things he already knew. It turned out to be a great comfort, because it wasn't like Meng Mo was a young soul. He used to have a large family, used to have children, grandchildren, siblings, a wife, and parents. He had everything, and lost it so many years ago in one of the first wars in the demon realm, where his body had been destroyed and the last of his soul kept clinging to different demons over the years.

It had been a dark time, but talking about it with someone who was older and much more content calmed him down.

"What do you want, brat?" Meng Mo split through the fog of his dream realm, waving his hand and making a comfortable scene of some sort of inn room they had been to recently, and taking a seat at the tea table.

Shen Yuan stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, shifting on his feet and looking down at the ground. "Do you think Shizun and Shixiong will kill me if I go back? I just... I want to say sorry to them."

Meng Mo was quiet for a long moment, tweaking the details of the inn room until he was happy enough with it. "Do you think that they deserve an apology? Say that you weren't dropped here with knowledge of what was happening next, would you still have apologized?" When Shen Yuan nodded, Meng Mo rolled his eyes and curled two of his fingers for Shen Yuan to sit down next to him. When he was sitting down, Meng Mo pet the top of his head. "They really don't deserve your apology, Yuan-er, but you are allowed to want to say sorry for what transpired. If you do apologize, you might not get the reaction you are hoping for." Shen Yuan nodded again, dropping his head into his hands. 

"This one, i just... I want them to see me for me, not for a demon. This one wasn't a demon once, and was a human like everyone else. Fuck, I was more human than the cultivators, but none of it matters now. This one... This one just wants to go back to how things were when i first came here."

Meng Mo sighed, and scratched his scalp. "Think about talking to them, or maybe talking to that rat you call author about meeting up with them. Whatever you think will help." Shen Yuan nodded, rubbing the palms of his hands into his eyes hard enough that weird patterns showed behind his eye lids. 

"Can you make sure I dont have nightmares tonight?" Shen Yuan whispered, and he heard a hum of approval. He sighed in relief, and rubbed his cheek into the elder's shoulder. Ah, he missed his father so much, and Meng Mo was the closest person that he could go to that would be like a parent to him.

---

 Shen Yuan might just kill himself so that he wouldn't have to deal with the aching his body was going through at the moment, and go back to being a sick scum back in his own world.

He was panting hard whine running, accidentally leaving his sword at the inn that morning when he was too out of it, he had been heading back that way when he smacked into a low hanging branch. Well, not low hanging since he was too fucking tall, but you get the point. Instead of being fine after that, an ant was crawling right on his eyeball. He freaked out and wiped frantically at his eye to get the regular and out, and flailed his arm out too far. Which just ended him up with hitting a hornets nest. Now, he was getting chased by an angry group of the bugs, because they weren't normal hornets! They were literally called horny hornets! When they landed on flowers to steal some of the nectar from them, they ended up getting aphrodisiacs in their stinger and carry it around. The bugs had been doing that for so many years that they genetically mutated to have the sex pollen in their stingers, causing the person stung to be affected by something that no one knew how to get rid of. Even Shen Yuan didn't know!

He hopped over another fallen tree, but his too long legs couldn't obey him like normal ones so he tripped and fell to the ground. Oh fuck, this was it. This was where he would now die from a fucking wife plot. Except, he didn't feel anything other than one sting, and then the horrifying buzzing from the clan flew away. Are you joking? These things were aware enough that they knew one sting would leave their enemy debilitated?!

Shen Yuan kept his arms over his head on the ground, biting his bottom lip hard. He didn't want to get up, but the sting he had gotten from that dumb wannabe bee was hurting a little bit. He pushed himself up, grimacing at how messy his long hair had gotten. Yeah, that was another thing he had to get used to. His hair reached the back of his knees, and he craved for any haircut that he could get without it making him look like a criminal. He usually would have the sirens braid his hair, but now he just threw it up into a bun or higher ponytail to keep it from getting into his face when he was doing stuff. Shen Yuan scratched at his face to get the strands of hair out of his vision, throwing them over his shoulder and shifting to sit on his knees. Once his hair was out of his face, he grimaced while pulling his robes open (He was finally wearing the one that the women made for him, yay) pushing his robe down one shoulder to look down at his rib. 

Right there, looking a nice pink color was a bump from where he got stung. He reached his hand down to pull out the little stinger and toss it off to the side. Yeesh, this was going the be a very long bump in the road if he couldn't figure out what to do to get rid of the thing attacking his body. So, what to do at this point?

Go to the only person that could help him!

---

"Ah, I swear that I didn't do it!" Shang Qinghua screamed when another book was thrown at his head, dodging down and covering his head with his arms. He was already having a shitty day, and this was just making it worse! He ducked down to his knees, rolling away when his fellow transmigrator tried to stomp on his back. "Dude, I didn't do anything! Why the fuck are you trying to kill me?!"

Shen Yuan leaned down to grab the front of Shang Qinghua's robes, shaking the hamster man. "Bro, I got fucked by one of your shitty sex plots!" Shen Yuan shook him harder, not stopping until his dumb friend whined and shoved his hands away.

"Well excuse me bro, I just wasn't expecting you to come in ready to kill me! What happened to you bro? You're as tall as my king, but as skinny as a piece of paper! Your waist is so snatched- Wait, what? What plot did you get affected by now?" Shen Yuan wanted to throttle the cowering man he was standing in front of, but he promised himself that he wouldn't hurt a human to show the he wasn't a bad person. Maybe he could show his Shizun and Shixiong how good he had gotten at not beating airplane up.

"Well, I was fucking around in Bailu forest, and got stung by one of those stupid horny hornets. The venom is slow acting, but I can already feel it!" Shen Yuan paced back and forth, folding his arms over his chest and hunching his shoulders to make himself smaller. "I didn't know who to go to other than you to ask what the fuck I should do."

Shang Qinghua rubbed the back of his neck, putting his hand on his knee and pushing himself up to his feet. "Bro, I have no clue on what to do. If you have a sex partner, go fuck them, but if you cant, then youre kind of, no pun intended, fucked." Shen Yuan shot him a glare, and raised his hand like he was going to hit him. "Woah, bro! Ah, why not go talk to Luo Binghe and Shen Jiu?! I barely remember shit about this bug I made, and they would know a lot better. They are the ones who have to go through all of those plots together."

Shen Yuan stopped his pacing, and threw his hands up. "Oh, Great Master Airplane, I have already thought about that. One problem," Shen Yuan waved his hands in the air. "They threw me into the fucking abyss! I don't think that they want to see their scum disciple!" Shang Qinghua winced, and patted Shen Yuan's arm, pausing to wrap his fingers around the limb.

"Mhm, why don't you eat something before we figure out what the fuck to do. You look like you're going to fall over and die any second." Shen Yuan yanked his arm away, and brought his hand down on Shang Qinghua's head.

"There's no sun in the abyss, and I am tall! Of course im not going to look okay, but I am not hungry right now! I want to figure out what to do with this dumb aphrodisiac!" All of this shouting was grabbing the attention from disciples outside of the room, and both transmigrators stiffened when they heard a childish voice call out to them through the door, and a knock. Shen Yuan flicked Shang Qinghua in the forehead, and glared at him as he got Xin Mo back out. "I will kill you if I don't get this figured out."

"Yeah, yeah bro, just go to my sons. I'm sure that they will gladly take you in for this."

"Fuck you, I am not gay!"

---

Shen Yuan leaned his head down to touch the ground, folding his body in half to kowtow to the front door. He was shaking so bad, but he didn't know why. Well, he did, he was scared. He stayed on his knees, sending out a little pulse of qi to alert the men inside that he was there. That was all that they needed, not a knock or anything else to know that it was him. He could hear the pattering of feet and talking in the home quiet down to silence, and now the whistling of the wind filled his ears. Shen Yuan couldn't help the tears that filled his eyes, but he would stay right here until either of them came to the door. If he didn't say sorry, then he wouldn't be able to move on. Maybe they could even help him, because his thighs were pressing together to try and get rid of the arousal that was becoming too much to ignore.

Shen Yuan was sure that he looked a mess at the moment, with fresh tears falling down his flushed face, a couple of rips in his new robes, and messy hair that he couldn't tame after days since he got stung by that bee. He was here now in the middle of the night, not knowing what to expect when one of them came to the door. Is this was cold feet felt like? He felt the same thing when he had first been asked to live in the bamboo house, but that was when things weren't sad. When they didn't know that Shen Yuan was a filthy demon.

His shoulders tensed, and he kept his hands and head on the floor to bow when he heard the door slide open barely an inch. His shoulders trembled, but he didn't raise his head an inch.

"Shen Yuan." Ouch, hearing his name and said in that tone of voice made him sniffle. So distant from the casual "A-Yuan" or "Yuan-er" he was so used to. This was such a bad idea in the end after all.

"Shizun," Shen Yuan croaked out, shifting to straighten his posture. "I'm sorry. I really am." His breath hitched softly, and the door slid further open while his mouth began to talk before his head could. "I- this disciple is really sorry." Shen Yuan bit his lip to stifle the crying, even though he was sure that his Shizun knew he was crying. His shoulders were shaking a bit, and the sound of more footsteps coming over made him tense. This was so bad, neither of them were talking to him.

"This disciple was just scared, and didn't want to be alone." He finally managed to say. "But, this one went into the abyss and survived, and is willing to be a better person, even if this one is not a human." The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, and he moved his head a bit to wipe his teary eyes on his sleeve. He could see both of their shoes in front of him, and knew that they were looking down on him. Whatever, they could do whatever they wanted to him if it meant that he could say sorry. "Again, this disciple is truly sorry for lying to Shizun and Shixiong. A-And, this one needs help."

The crack of a fan made him shiver harder, but nothing ever hit his head. One of the men walked back into the house, but one stayed.

"Come inside." Oh, his Shixiong didn't sound like he wanted to see him either. When Shen Yuan nodded and sat back on his feet, he couldn't lift his eyes from the ground to look the man above him in the face. He shouldn't, he lied to the man and his husband, and was punished for it from the abyss. He should've just stayed down there, it would hurt less than the scratching feeling in his chest at the moment. He took a few deep breaths through his nose, and tilted his head back to look at Luo Binghe.

His Shixiong was just the same as he remembered, all beautiful and glowing like he should be. If anything, the man got a little shorter- oh shit now. Shen Yuan forgot that he had gotten taller. When he pushed himself up to stand next to the man now, the top of Luo Binghe's head came about to the level of Shen Yuan's eyes. Shen Yuan didn't meet his gaze, though, and ducked his head under the doorframe to go inside.

He wished he could say that everything was the same, but it was not. The paintings he had made over the years, his pottery, poetry, fans, all of his gifts to these two men were nowhere in sight. He couldn't blame them for ridding themselves of it, but the ache in his chest got a bit hotter, so he rubbed the space in the middle of his chest with the heel of his palm. His Shizun was seated where he usually would sit when Shen Yuan was younger, but instead of Luo Binghe sitting next to where Shen Yuan sat, he sat next to his husband. Shen Yuan dropped his arm that had been rubbing his chest, bowing his head the whole time he was sitting down. He couldn't look them in the eyes for this.

He heard the soft clinking of porcelain, but a cup wasn't offered to him like all the times it had before. Shen Yuan couldn't get mad at that, he wasn't a disciple anymore to these men.

"Shen Yuan says that he needs help. What for?" No preamble, straight to the point like his Shizun always was. Shen Yuan's knees ached sitting on the floor, but maybe that was coming from the weight he felt being here after so long.

"Uh, this one is... uh, poisoned by a... Bee." Silence followed that, because he was sure that the two of them were confused. How was he meant to tell them he was actively aroused while sitting on their floor? That would be a torturous conversation starter, and make this whole thing more awkward.

He risked flicking his eyes up to look at them, and his face heated up when they stared at him like he was stupid. Hey, he couldn't help it! "It was um... Called the horny hornets? This one spoke to Shang Qinghua, and he recommended that this one come to see you since he doesn't know how to deal with it." His voice was getting smaller at the end of the sentence, shame filling his guts, or maybe that was him just getting more horny the more that he sat there. "This disciple isn't-"

"You are not this one's disciple." Shen Jiu cut in, and Shen Yuan had to make sure he didn't wince at how angry the man sounded. Ah, that was okay, he should've known not to call himself that. "This lord and his husband do know about the poison afflicting Shen Yuan. Where are you stung?"

Shen Yuan bit his lip as he pointed to his side, were the little sting had been throbbing all day. Shen Jiu sighed, setting his cup of tea down and gesturing to his ex disciple with his fan. "Binghe, look at it. Make sure that he isn't lying." 

Luo Binghe stood easily enough and leaned down next to Shen Yuan, not exactly being very kind while he pulled the top of his robes open and lifted Shen Yuan's arm to get a look at the sting. He hadn't looked at it in a couple days as well, so his head turned to stare at it. He wanted to wince, because the thing turned from a pink into a red, even though the stinger had been removed the first day he had gotten it. His Shixiong poked the thing, and examined the violet substance that beaded out when it was squeezed. It hurt, but he wouldn't tell the man to stop if this was what it took to show them that he wasn't lying. Luo Binghe's brow furrowed, and he dropped Shen Yuan's limb to nod at his husband.

"It is the same color of Shizun's when he was affected." Shen Yuan pulled his robes back up over his shoulders, trying to shift them until they were closed enough to cover his aching chest. His Shizun nodded from the tinkling of hair pins he heard.

"Hm, then that is that. Shen Yuan must find someone to dual cultivate with to rid himself of this, lest it eat away at the only human part of him." Shen Jiu opened his fan again, and picked up his cup of tea from the table to sip at it. "Now, if that is all, you may leave before this lord sets off the demonic alarms."

Shen Yuan was stumped, or maybe he was just a bit confused as to why they expected him to have a dual cultivation partner. "This one does not have someone to dual cultivate with." Shen Yuan finally managed to say, and grimaced when he was being stared at.

"How is that this one's and Shizun's problem? Shen Yuan knows what he needs to do, now leave." Okay, they didn't seem to want to talk to him anymore. It hurt his heart so much, but he did nod his head and got to his feet.

"This one is truly sorry, peak lord Shen, disciple Luo. This one will not overstay his welcome, and is very thankful to have the solution to his problems." Shen Yuan more or so said that as quickly as he could while bowing low to them, and then turned on his heel to leave. As his Shizun had said, that is that.

---

Shen Yuan dug his nails into his thighs as he found himself back at the fluorescent pond in the abyss, waiting for the two women to wake from their nap at the bottom of the pond. His heart was hurting so bad, but no amount of rubbing it would make anything feel lighter, or stop him from wanting to itch at something. The best he could do was sink his claws into his skin to avert the itching pain somewhere else, or drop his fangs out to bite his palms. It hurt, yeah, but something needed to be done.

After he had left what he used to think was the safe bamboo house, he cut a portal back to the abyss to walk around aimlessly. He felt like he was going to have a heart attack from how much he was aching in his chest, but clawing his skin open there would just mar his already ugly chest. Instead, he went to the only women that could help him think straight when he did things like this.

So, he had to talk to someone lest he try to rip his heart out to stop it from hurting.

His nails slit open the skin on his thighs, and his body shook while he waited. Maybe they weren't coming out today? Maybe he should kill some things here in the abyss? Something to do rather than focus on the words that had been said to him. His newly cleared lungs felt like it was already coated in smoke for being in the abyss, and his eyes watered with tears. He couldn't tell if they were from his Shizun and Shixiong, or from the rotten air he was breathing.

"System?" Shen Yuan said through sobs, moving his hands to the back of his calves to cut something else when his fingers sank past the muscle in his thighs, digging into bone.

[Yes, dear user :D]

"What can I do? Can I go back to my own world yet? It hurts too much being here, I dont think I can do it anymore." His breath kept hitching, crying like he was some sort of toddler who couldn't get his way. He couldn't, but maybe he was valid for the way he was feeling? Shang Qinghua acted like him being pushed into hell wasn't that big of a deal, he wasn't getting an explanation for being pushed into the abyss from the men who he had come to care about over the little time they had spent together.

[This system will run through the possible missions that will allow the user to leave. No mission or side quests available at the moment.]

Shen Yuan rolled his eyes, bringing his bloody hand up again to bit his hand hard enough for it to drip more crimson onto his robes that these women had so nicely made for him. They would understand, they have seen him like this before.

As he sat for hours, not a single siren peaked up from the water. That didn't mean that he didn't freak out the whole time he was there, yanking at his hair or moving from sliding his nails across his legs to his ribs, maybe that would free him from what he had to go through. He missed his mama, he missed his dad, he missed when the only thing he had to worry about was when the next chapter of PIDW would be released. No, when he got back to his own world, he would get rid of everything to do with them, just like they had done to him. They had told him that demons weren't bad, and he thought he had managed to change their mind over the course of his stay, but no. They hated him for something he couldn't control, and got rid of the evidence he had been there so that they wouldn't have to think of their mistake of letting him into the sect, letting him into their home.

"I wanna die." Shen Yuan wailed, clawing his hands over his ribs through his robes, and flinching when he hit that stupid sting. Maybe he could tear it off and it would stop hurting. He should've done that in the first place, before the venom had spread through his veins and left him like he was now. Because under all this agony and hurt, he was still fucking horny. He pulled his knees to his chest and curled his neck down until he could press his crying eyes into his knees, arms half folded in his lap while he just... sat there. He didn't want to be alone at the moment, but he was stuck like this. He was stuck being a demon, stuck in the abyss even with the exit of Xin Mo now, and stuck falling behind while the world kept turning around him.

He should go back to the surface soon, lest the burning in his chest turns into him trying to claw into his chest cavity to pull his lungs out like he had done a year ago.

---

"You look like shit." Shang Qinghua popped a melon seed into his mouth, using his tongue to toy with the snack before chewing. "I'm assuming that talk with your Shizun and Shixiong didn't go well?"

"Yeah, dude. What did you expect? And don't call them that, they don't want me as a disciple anymore." Shen Yuan was sifting through Shang Qinghua's shelves, looking for where the asshole had moved his wine stash to. After his little break down in the abyss, he wandered around for days in the human realm to try and think of anything to do. The aphrodisiac in his veins was sitting right next to all the other problems his body had, and the blood mites were mixing with it. He had thrown his blood on one of the beasts in the abyss, and instead of the thing dying, it just seemed to be affected by the same thing he had. Great, now he was a mutated bug, he sure as hell felt like one.

"Sorry about that bro, they might come around." Shang Qinghua leaned on his hand, and pointed to a floorboard. "Drinks are down there, also got some sweets that Binghe made." Shen Yuan ignored that comment, digging into the floor to grab a couple bottles of the wine and plop down on Shang Qinghua's bed next to him. Shang Qinghua had to scoot his ass over so his tall ass friend could fit comfortably. "What did they even say to you?"

Shen Yuan extended his fangs, digging his teeth into the cork of the bottle and tearing it out. He spat it at Shang Qinghua, and tilted his head back to chug the thing. His friend watched him, looking greener by the second. "Alright bro, that's actually gross."

Shen Yuan wiped his lips on his sleeve, smearing the wet drink on the fabric. "I ate bugs, fairies, and raw meat for almost three years. Of course I wouldn't get disgusted by it." He mumbled, and jerked the bottle at Shang QInghua. "And you don't even want to know what they said to me. Honestly, they're lucky that I didn't come out of the abyss wanting to kill them. I am at least human enough to know how fucked up that it."

Shang Qinghua grabbed the bottle, taking his own swig of it and waving his other hand. "I got all the time in the world, bro, just tell me while we get fucked up."

---

"I just want things to go back to the way they were before," Shen Yuan whined, his face full of tears and sweat from the mix of alcohol and the aphrodisiac. Shang Qinghua was next to him crying too, hugging onto Shen Yuan's waist like he was going to run away. "I want to go back home so that I don't have the think about them anymore. I want to forget them."

"It's okay bro, whatever you want to do, I'll support." Airplane was crying because Shen Yuan told him his plan that he was going to do. In the middle of drinking together, Shen Yuan had been offered by the system for a mission to leave. Apparently, all he had to do was dual cultivate with the both of them, then he would be free to leave and choose when he wants to go back to his own world. He was drunk enough to accept the mission, and told his friend everything. Shang Qinghua didn't want to be left alone in this shitty world, but he understood that his friend was hurting and wasn't getting the help he needed from staying. "Just promise that we will meet again!"

Shen Yuan lifted his arm to give his friend a side hug, and nodded onto the top of his head. "I'm sure we will bro, this is just... Something I want to do for myself, and not have to worry about getting in trouble for it. It hurts, it hurts so much to be here, but I don't want to leave at the same time."

"Lets just drink a bit more, then um, go tell you Shizun that you're sad." His bro said, and Shen Yuan shook his head.

"I already told you bro, it is no use. They wont care about that, I have already cried that I was sorry about what happened." He shoved his face into his hands, wiping his wet skin into his palms and then reaching over to yank the bottle from Shang Qinghua. Luckily, his friend let him take the thing, and cradled his sack of melon seeds while crying. He did feel a little bad for Shang QInghua, leaving him here for a plot that was already in shambles, while he had to deal with Mobei Jun on the side of it. Shen Yuan supposed that it wasn't so bad for him, because it was clear that the huge ice block was in love with him, but hitting the dumb airplane was never going to get through to him of his affections. Shen Yuan drank the wine, wiping his mouth again and whining to Shang Qinghua. "Plus, it isn't like I can just keep being a disciple. I am unfortunately a demon, and even if they did accept me, its not like the sect would. They would kill me at the first chance if this stupid halo wasn't following me around."

---

"What are you doing back here?" His Shixiong didn't sound happy at all, but how could he when his ex shidi was leaning against his door and pounding on it in the middle of the night.

"This one cant get rid of the aphrodisiac." Shen Yuan breathed out through his mouth, since his nose was congested from so much crying. He was still shedding tears, because if he could convince these two to fuck him, this would be the last time he would see them. It was raining hard tonight as well, so he was soaked with coldness to his bones since he decided to walk the whole way over here. He didn't want to use the cursed sword anywhere near his Shizun and Shixiong, and make them think that he was bad. Well, too late for that. "I need help."

"Why would you come back for help from this lord and his husband?" Luo Binghe grimaced at the tangy blood smell hitting his nose, and stepping aside to let Shen Yuan come in. He didn't step a foot forward, he wouldn't until he was sure that they would be fucking him. It was a greedy though, but he wasn't going to waste his time inside if he was going to just get kicked out again.

"Because, um... This one couldn't find a partner to get rid of the bee sting." He mumbled, leaning against his hand that was resting on the door. "This lowly demon promises to not come back if Shizun- peak lord Shen and Disciple Luo help him with this. It is not exactly ideal for this one either." He didn't have the energy to pretend he was happy with the circumstances, didn't have the time to sit around and be a whiny brat as he asks them to take him back.

"Let this one ask his husband first, and we will decide on our own. Come in." Luo Binghe muttered, pushing the door open fully. Shen Yuan made no move to go in, just nodding his head drunkly along with whatever the man way saying. Maybe he should leave them some sort of note when he left? Maybe then they would understand why he was hurt by everything. He could tell them why he had left, about his first life, but the time would come for that when he actually got to leave.

Luo Binghe finally came back to his front door with Shen Jiu following him with some type of rope. Oh, they were kinky or something? Shen Yuan didn't know how that was going to work, he had never had sex in the first place.

"This master and Binghe will help you get rid of this, but you will not step a foot back into Qing Jing. Our requirements is that you let Binghe tie your arms behind your back with this rope, because it cuts off your demonic abilities." Oh, yeah he kind of forgot that those existed because he was a human, but whatever. "You reek as well of rain and blood, bathe yourself in the side room, then come find this master and his husband in our room." Shen Yuan nodded, taking off his wet boots by the door and following them inside finally. They had their backs turned to him, heading for their own room while Shen Yuan was left to stand outside of the room he had comfortably slept in when he wasn't so alone.

The wood of the door was the same, the scuff marks on the floor when he dragged his feet in the morning. The dents in the frame from when he kicked the bottom when he was sad. The door handle that was fraying a bit from being touched by his hand. Inside of the room was completely changed, and he felt his heart burn again. He didn't rub it this time, it wouldn't go away. He slid the door closed behind him, and leaned against the wood while looking around. The room had a whole new bed, new rug, dresser, desk, not a thing was the same it had been when he lived with them. The bath tub was even moved to the left side of the room, and he stripped his wet clothes off while walking to it. He dropped it into a pile by the tub, watching the amount of water that soaked him through make a puddle around. He didn't bother sticking a talisman on the side of it to warm the water, letting the cold water that had been sitting for all day coat his skin.

Now that he was closer to both of them, in the same house, the same place, his heart was hurting bad. He looked down, rubbing his hand over the center of his chest where the long scar was. Would they think it was ugly? He couldn't get rid of it, maybe because the cut was too deep, or his mind didn't want to heal it as proof for his suffering. He couldn't help it with the other injuries he got, when they left a scar or didn't, but the most noticeable ones that were left were the ones he cut into himself. They didn't always stay when he did it, but when he was at his worst, they stayed marring his skin. It was ugly, and it was gross for him to not be able to rid himself of them.

Shen Yuan sank his hot body back into the tub, trying hard to get his head under. He ended up having to spread his thighs, ignoring his genitals and sticking his head under the water to clean his hair. He wasn't given soaps or a towel, or even clothes. Maybe they were expecting him to use a talisman to dry them, but they were covered in blood from his last break down.

He held his head under the water for as long as he could, inhaling the water and still not dying. If he didn't die now, he would from the shame of having sex with men, or from the system taking him home...

He curled his fingers against his ribs, scratching the skin there over his ribs to bring any sort of comfort to himself. Would they be angry with him if he went home? Would they try to look for him? He didn't think that they would. Why would they look for him? It wasn't like they knew where he was going, but that was what Shen Yuan wanted. He didn't need them to look, or to wonder about him when he was gone.

It probably wasn't the best idea to stain the water with his blood, but he couldn't help it at the moment. If he didn't get rid of this itch in his chest, than he would be trying to rub the space the whole time he was getting fucked. His claws dropped out of his nail beds, and sank right into his rib bones. He could feel the hard material under the skin protest at being touched, and he didn't keep going deeper for fear of breaking something. He could heal that quickly, but it would be hard to explain why he was taking so long in the bath. So, he just dragged his hands down, cutting eight good lines into his skin and scraping the rib bones enough to surely make dents.

His breathing would've gotten harder if his head had been above the water, but he sucked the liquid into his lungs. Being human for so long, he choked and brought his head above the body water to cough it all up. He made a gross sound the whole time, grimacing a bit at the irony taste in his mouth. He didn't think that he bled too much, but he hadn't let the wounds close. He must've nicked something that he shouldn't have, but it was too late to check because the wounds were already closing. 

Shen Yuan moved his hands out of the water, wiping his nose eyes to rid his face of the water and looked around the dim room, then to the door where his hearing was a lot better now than it had been as a disciple. He could hear them talking through the walls, something about having a demon in their home. He knew they were arguing, having been the topic of them for the longest time, but this felt a lot different. Where the old arguments were usually about what Shen Yuan wanted for dinner, this one was if they should even help them. It kind of sucked, because Shen Yuan would've helped them if they had been in his position.

Do they ever think that they might be wrong? That he can be good? It was dumb to keep giving them the benefit of the doubt in this situation, but he couldn't help it. He had been so alone when coming to this world, not even having many friends when he stopped being bullied, and then having two people he could rely on in the demon realm. He turned to self harming, thinking that would help with his problems, but it did nothing. He did it to feel something other than the buzzing, and itching on his skin. He did it to remind himself that he was still human, and not a demon. Would they believe him if he told them that he could still hurt? That he could still feel every little thing that happened? The pain, the loneliness, the suffocating feeling of not being able to have a single relationship in this world?

Shen Yuan stood up from the water, needing to abandon this bath before he spiraled anymore. The water dripped down his skin as he lifted his leg and stepped over the lip of the tub. His feet settled on the familiar wooden ground, and he moved to dig through his small pile of robes on the floor to find a drying talisman. Sending a bit of Qi into ut, he felt like a puffed up cat when he dried himself. The air felt colder now, but it would get hotter when he was stuck in a room with them to have sex.

Oh yeah, how could he forget about that? Shen Yuan had been so caught up in his own feelings that he forgot the whole reason he came here. The itch in his chest was more prominent than the arousal he was feeling. If anything, he should be thankful and think about what they were doing for him, because Shen Yuan knew that touching someone they already hated was going to be annoying for them. He should be thanking them on his hands and knees, and not having a pity party while he was alone in their home. 

Shen Yuan rubbed his now dry cheek, getting the tear that had fallen off of his face. He had to pull it together if he was going to go out there and do this with them. Then, whether he was kicked out or allowed to stay the night, Shen Yuan would leave. He finally wouldn't have to feel like this, and they wouldn't have to worry about their disgusting ex disciple coming back to bother them with anymore problems. They wouldn't have to think he wanted revenge, and he wouldn't be getting in the middle of them anymore. He could leave quietly with only a note left to spare them, and then go back to his old life.

He could see his parents again, see his siblings, live with modern things like showers and quick meals for dinner. Nothing would be the same, he had lived another life now and knew that nothing would ever feel as good as it did when he was a disciple. Even when he was comfortable in his old life, he was still lonely. He would go back to his own world with the second chance he wouldn't get here, and improve his life. Maybe he wouldn't be able to ever get rid of the aching in his chest, and maybe it would always feel like he was lonely, but he could come to terms with that fact in time.

Shen Yuan picked up the ribbon from his mess of clothes, moving his hands behind his head and ducking down to look in the mirror while tying his hair up. Yeah, he shouldn't get drunk. These thoughts aren't something that would be consuming his mind if he was sober.

---

"There, it is secure enough." Shen Yuan was sitting on his knees in their bed, arms tied behind his back in the too tight ropes. His fangs were biting his bottom lip, claws fully out and extended for the first time in a while and not just little points when he wanted to hurt, the huadian on his forehead burning his skin, and pointed ears. He didn't like to look at himself like this, but his Shizun and Shixiong liked to sit there and poke at him. Luo Binghe hummed, tugging at the ropes and seeing that it didn't have much give. "Good enough. We might have to move to the floor, husband. He is much too tall for all of us to be fitting on the bed."

Shen Jiu was pulling off his outer robes, folding them off to the side while rolling his eyes. "We will have to make it work on the bed. This one is not trying to get dirtier than he will be." Ouch, he didn't have to say it like that.

Shen Yuan stayed on his knees while the men in front of him stripped down to their inner robes. Ah, that was a little unfair! Shen Yuan was the only one here that was fully naked, freezing the whole time while they slowly worked their way over to actually do what he agreed to. Yes, he was severely depressed right now, but he was also so god damn horny at the moment that he couldn't really care for who was about to fuck him and how. His brain was getting a bit more foggy when a hand touched his cheek, and slid down to the pale column of his throat. He peeked up though his lashes, whining a bit at his Shizun.

"Cease that pathetic noise, this master is going to begin, and you better make no move to hurt this one or his husband on purpose." He squeezed Shen Yuan's neck until the demon nodded. He took another long moment to dig his nails into the thin skin there, causing his ex disciple to shift uncomfortably. "Lay on your stomach."

Shen Yuan felt like a worm with too long legs, trying to scoot onto his ass and then flip over. He was ashamed, because being watched this whole time by Luo Binghe and Shen Jiu had to be a humiliation ritual. He finally managed to settle on his stomach, knees bent and feet in the air so that he wouldn't kick anyone who got behind him (His feet also touched the wall when he did try to extend, so maybe it was for the best that he tried to keep himself small.). Thank god that he had thrown his hair up in a bun, or else he would've been laying and rolling on it the whole time that they did this. Shen Yuan shoved his face into the blanket on the bed, nodding a bit to signal that he was ready.

There was only the sound of moving around before the bed dipped on both sides of him. He didn't lift his head, and gasped into the sheet when a warm hand slid over his ass. He was sure they could see the goosebumps on his skin, and the shaking of his legs in the air. He could only bite his lip and endure what was coming, swallowing back the tears that he wanted to shed from shame and sadness. Ah, sad boners...

"Shen Yuan needs to relax." Luo Binghe mumbled, firmly rubbing his hand up and down the demon's ass, moving further down between his thighs to rub the tip of his fingers between Shen Yuan's folds. Thank god Shen Yuan had found a way to shave in this world, he didn't think he could handle it if they saw him having a bush on top of all of this... Even though the bush was natural, god Shen Yuan missed having a pillar so much. He didn't know why this world curse him to have a vagina instead, but he could deal with it. Being a demon or a cultivator meant that he could avoid menstruation, and he also didn't get boners whenever he did anything as a man! So, there were some perks.

"Sorry." He mumbled, wincing a bit when Luo Binghe's fingers slipped over the copious amount of slick, and rubbed his sore clit. Yes, he had already tried to get this dumb thing out of his system, but he couldn't orgasm because he kept crying or getting grossed out by his own hands touching himself. The slide of his old Shixiong over his clit made his breath hitch and come out shaky. "This one, I've never done this thing."

"We can tell." Shen Jiu muttered, sitting in front of Shen Yuan and rubbing the back of his shoulders slowly. It felt uncomfortable, because his palm kept running over bones that shouldn't be showing. Had his disciple been eating? Shen Yuan should have, Binghe and him would never let their disciple starve. But, he couldn't let Shen Yuan think that lying was okay. He needed to convey to his disciple that what he did was wrong, and allow him to come back to the sect when he stopped fibbing. "Why don't you tell this master what you have been doing while Binghe prepares you."

"Uhm, oh..." Shen Yuan gasped, his legs twitching open a bit more. Luo Binghe chose that moment to spit on his cunt, and rub the saliva into his wet folds. It definitely wasn't needed, the stupid aphrodisiac made his pussy leak like he had never been turned on before, and too lewd to give too much thought. "This one, has um, hasn't been doing anything. Mnn, oh, not there!" He jerked away when Luo Binghe tried to slide his fingers inside. He hadn't put anything up there before, okay?! It was a scary thought.

"This disciple must get in there if Yuan-er doesn't want to feel pain." Ah, that nickname caught him off guard. Would they call him that again if he behaved, even though the sound of it made his chest hurt? Shen Yuan shuddered, and looked over his shoulder the best he could at his ex Shixiong. The man was busy staring between his legs, but easily caught Shen Yuan staring as he slid one finger inside easily. His eyes slammed shut, the feeling of something inside of him not painful nor pleasurable, just weird. His hips wiggled a bit by accident until Shen Jiu cleared his throat and squeezed the back of Shen Yuan's neck.

"This master doubts that Shen Yuan isn't doing much." Shen Yuan turned back to his Shizun, laying his chin on the bed and looking up at the man. It was kind of hard to do from this angle that he was laying on, but wouldn't dare move until they told him to.

"This one has been helping some of the smaller towns... Visiting Shang Qinghua, trying to find a place to stay. I, ohhh, I don't know what I am doing." Luo Binghe slid his finger to the side, making room for the ring one to slide in right next to it and curl them down. That felt good, and the aphrodisiac was beginning to make it hard to think. "This one is just wandering."

"Hm," Shen Jiu hummed, moving his hand from the back of his neck and up to Shen Yuan's bun. "What about this? This lord remembers that we taught you how to do your hair. So, what changed?"

Shen Yuan leaned his head back into the touch, Luo Binghe having no care behind him as he fucked his fingers in and out to stretch him. Shen Yuan couldn't relax like this... "This one's ribbon got torn in the abyss, and-and i couldn't find anything else to use. This one, fuck, forgot how to do it once my hair got longer." His toes curled at the same time Luo Binghe stuffed another finger inside, having an actual burn there. "And, ahh, this one is, is..." He couldn't get the sentence out, because thinking of the abyss was making him upset. Being tied up was another stressful thing, the itch in his chest adding to the mix of things making him uncomfortable. He wanted to move, to get away from this, because it wasn't pleasurable, it was beginning to hurt and-

"A-Yuan." The voice by his ear whispered, fingers no longer inside of him and messing with his aroused body. "Calm down."

Shen Yuan wasn't breathing, his face smashed back into the bed as he tried so hard to calm his nerves. This wasn't right, he was freaking out because of something inside of him? If he didn't do this now, then he wouldn't be able to go home. If he did do this, he also wouldn't be able to see these two again. It wasn't like he could voice these concerns, because they wouldn't understand. So, Shen Yuan let a cry sneak out through his stiff throat. "I'm sorry."

"Shh, this lord hears you." Shen Jiu shooed his husband off of Shen Yuan, and helped the tall disciple sit up on his knees. The peak lord's eyes fell on the scar in the middle of the demon's chest, and back up to his face. "Is something causing you to be like this? Do we need to stop?" Where was all of this concern coming from? Where was this sort of care when Shen Yuan was begging them to not throw him into the abyss? Was it because they were afraid Shen Yuan would end up hurting them? He wouldn't, Shen Yuan would stab himself in the stomach if he ever brought harm to either of these men.

Shen Yuan shook his head, shifting so that he could bring his legs out from the kneeling position and pull them to his chest to hide his aching cunt. He didn't want to look at them when he was like this, barely getting air into his lungs. "This one just, it hurts." Luo Binghe looked at Shen Jiu with a confused look, and then down to his wet hand. Luo Binghe didn't think that he was being rough at all, since this was not even a fraction of the stuff that he would do to his husband when they were intimate.

"Does Shen Yuan want to change positions?" Luo Binghe wiped his wet hand on the bed, and tugged at the demon's leg. 

Shen Yuan thought about that for a long moment, because he didn't think that he wanted to. If he moved his body, then they would be able to see his face, and he himself didn't want to see their expression when he was like this. It was shameful. But, at the same time, it didn't feel right to be laying on his stomach while this happened. "Maybe this one can lay on his side? This demon doesn't know how that would work..." He had seen that position in porn sometimes, and it didn't look too comfortable. Plus, his arms were still tied up, so it might make everything harder, but he could hide his face if he was like that. "Yes, this one is sorry. Maybe... On my side?"

Again with the useless apologies, but Shen Jiu allowed Shen Yuan to worm around until he got into the spot he wanted to be in. It looked rather uncomfortable to the peak lord himself, but he wasn't going to comment about it if Shen Yuan wanted to be like that. His hand ran through his ex disciple's hair, grimacing at the tangled locks. Maybe he could sit the demon down long enough to do his hair before he ran off to do god knows what. Ah, he did want the male to come home, but he would have to convince his husband of that. Luo Binghe was a little bit more hurt than he was over everything. "Comfortable?" Shen Jiu found himself asking, and his shoulders sank when Shen Yuan nodded.

Truly, Shen Yuan couldn't stand this anticipation anymore. He let Luo Binghe shift his hips so that they were touching the bed, but his torso was still laying on his side. Shen Yuan's legs fell open, and wanted to die of shame at how red and wet he looked. Ew, this is what they had to work with? Maybe he should get Airplane to pay them if this is what they had to work with...

Luo Binghe bent down until he was close enough to breathe on Shen Yuan's cunt, rubbing his inner thighs and gripping his hip hard enough to make the bone protest. Ah, it hurt! Luo Binghe then poked his tongue out through his mouth, dragging his tongue up over Shen Yuan's clit. 

"Mn, Shixiong- ah, Disciple Luo, don't do that... It is dirty." It was worth a try to get him away, but the protest had half of his heart in it. It did feel so fucking good, and the rest of his protests died on the tongue when Luo Binghe gave his clit a long suck, and then dipped his lips further down to lap up saliva and slick from the dripping hole. Shen Yuan groaned, turning his head down and pressing his cheek into the bed, his Shizun talking quietly in his ear about letting this happen. Shen Yuan didn't want to let this happen, but his body was beginning to stop listening to him and give into the stupid pollen that brought him here in the first place. "Binghe!"

Luo Binghe shivered, bringing his head back up to circle his tongue slowly over Shen Yuan's clit. He flattened it next, using his hand to pull back the hood of his clit and lapping slowly up and down the button. Shen Yuan keened, his hands shaking and gripping onto the ropes that crossed over his palms to ground himself. His hips jerked up a bit, and Luo Binghe just pressed them back down like it wasn't a bother. 

When Shen Yuan finally became a puddle on the sheets, Luo Binghe moved his hand back to his cunt and pressed two fingers back inside. The slide was easier now, no resistance from the demon whining below him, and his pussy was gently sucking on his fingers like it wanted him inside. With nothing being a sign to stop, Luo Binghe eased his third finger inside, jerking them up into the spongy wall until his shidi whimpered. 

"Yuan-er is doing so good." Shen Jiu cooed, moving to the side of Shen Yuan and pulling his robe open to let his cock spring out. Oh, Shen Yuan didn't really look at those... He wasn't gay! But, Shen Jiu was so well endowed, his member so pretty and clean like he suspected it would be. The tip was a red, almost bordering on a purple from how hard he was. "Can you open your mouth for this lord?" Wait, what? Why would Shen Yuan have to open his mouth? He did anyways, and choked when Shen Jiu decided that gag reflexes didn't exist.

He choked loudly, blushing at the noise he made while moving his teeth under his lips to not hurt the man in his mouth. Shen Jiu stared down at him with a frown, pushing the long hairs out of his face and then a hand on the back of his neck to hold Shen Yuan there so he couldn't move back. Shen Yuan blinked his eyes open, moaning at both of these men. Is this how they had sex?

He could smell the musk of his Shizun so close to his nose, and his cunt gushed around Luo Binghe's fingers happily at the scent. It wasn't something that he thought he would like, but it apparently woke something up inside of him. The salty taste on his tongue was addicting as well, and Shen Yuan gurgled a small moan around Shen Jiu until the man pulled his hips back and moved them forward slowly. Thank god he wasn't just fucking Shen Yuan's mouth like he was a toy, because the initial entrance had put Shen Yuan on edge for a moment. He ran his tongue around the shaft of it, letting Shen Jiu move his head how he liked while they kept eye contact. That was really fucking hot, so hot that he felt on the verge of orgasming just from a little bit of cock.

He tried to say this, but all that came out were gross choking noises that his eyebrows tipped up at. Shen Jiu didn't want to pull off, and neither did the man who was now not moving his lips off of his clit. Shen Yuan jerked hard, hands straining to try and rip from the binds to push either of them away. Even his legs couldn't do anything, too long to curl up enough to kick Luo Binghe away, and just uselessly kicking at the air like that would do anything. His poor cunt was leaking slick onto the sheets, down his ass, and some getting licked up into the head disciple's mouth. His legs trembled, curling enough to get onto Luo Binghe's back and press down onto them. Moans were getting a little desperate, and he closed his eyes to hide his shame as his forst orgasm wracked through his body.

That didn't mean Luo Binghe stopped for even a second, nor his mean Shizun.

Luo Binghe kept his fingers curled, barely pulling them out before shoving them back in so that he would hit that good spot to make Shen Yuan shake, his lips sealed around his clit the while time. The asshole even grazed his teeth over the bundle of nerves, nibbling gently and sucking hard to get rid of the little wave of pain that had came with the tiny bites. Shen Jiu was slowly fucking his hips forward, clenching his fist in Shen Yuan's hair to make the demon wince in pain. It was hard to be in any pain when he was too busy cumming all over Luo Binghe's chin and hand.

Finally, the disciple moved his mouth back, wiping his face with the back of his arm and looking down at the mess Shen Yuan made. Shen Jiu stopped moving, leaning over and using his fingers to spread the lips of Shen Yuan's pussy to see the red cunt. His ex disciple had been so pent up, how did he manage this much patience when it came to this pollen? When Shen Jiu got affected by it, it took him barely an hour to be all over his husband, rutting his cock onto the man and begging him to fuck or be fucked. Shen Yuan on the other hand, had come back days later crying about not having a partner. That was why Shen Jiu had let him in, because he had been through the same thing. Of course, it could be his demon blood making it so that he wasn't as affected by this pollen, but it was all the same when he let it sit for so long.

"Yuan-er looks ready enough. Binghe should take him before he can start kicking and crying again." Hey, Shen Yuan heard that! He had only began to cry twice during this whole thing, and he was right now because Shen Jiu was fucking into the back of his throat, like he was trying to shove it down into his stomach.

Luo Binghe nodded, getting up to his knees and parting his robes. Shen Jiu kept Shen Yuan's pussy spread, biting his lip while he watched his husband bring his cock to Shen Yuan's cunt. Sure, it might hurt a bit for him to be doing this, but Shen Yuan probably needed it with how turned on he was. It would make it better in the long run as well if Shen Yuan could cum from the mix of it. Luo Binghe gently laid his tip against Shen Yuan's entrance, slapping his cock on it to make the demon jump.

The wet sound was a little jarring to the ear to listen to, Luo Binghe pressing his hand down over the top of his cock, and fucking between Shen Yuan's pussy and the pressure of the limb. Shen Yuan moaned around his Shizun's cock, trying his best to not bite down, lest he hurt the men and get kicked out back into the rain. But oh, his Shixiong was doing something so lewd down there that it was so hard to sit there and not try and gnaw on something, so he did end up biting down rather gently so that something could be done about the aching gums. His Shizun jerked back, and ripped a few strands of hair out from his ex disciple.

Shen Yuan opened his jaw again, pitifully sliding his tongue over the little dents the his teeth had left, allowing the man to keep his hair in a tight fist. His watery eyes looked with apology written all over his face, but his Shizun was too invested in what his husband was doing to allow some give with Shen Yuan's hair. Shen Jiu spared him a small glance, but didn't move an inch. This was getting a little shameful...

"Is Shen Yuan ready for this master?" Luo Binghe did one more good pass through his hand and Shen Yuan's cunt, acting like he was actually fucking the thing rather than just sliding his dick around. Shen Yuan wiggled enough until he could shoe the thumbs up behind his back, swallowing hard around Shen Jiu.

Okay, here goes nothing! Shen Yuan really didn't know how this was going to go, but he did hope that he wouldn't be too hurt, even though he needed the pain right now.

Luo Binghe pulled off, letting his husband spread Shen Yuan's folds with two fingers to make the access easier. Luo Binghe fisted his erection at the tip, slowly leading it to press against the hole that parted so nicely, knowing what it wanted. Shen Yuan wished that he could look down, but he just went back to gnawing on his Shizun's dick. The asshole deserved it right now, since he didn't want to pull out of Shen Yuan's throat!

"Shen Yuan, stop it before..." Shen Jiu didn't finish the threat, only quickly bucking his hips forward with a hiss to punish Shen Yuan a bit for acting like a dog that needed a toy to chew. "Enough of that." He gagged, tugging at the dumb ropes again. Fuck, this is going to definitely make him sad when post nut clarity hit.

"Hnn!" Shen Yuan actually did bite down this time, fangs sinking into Shen Jiu's cock and spilling blood into his mouth. Shen Yuan could not be blamed for this! Luo Binghe had pushed into him so suddenly, and Shen Jiu wasnt giving him enough room to breathe.

"Fuck!" Hah, Shen Yuan made the man who used to get mad at him for cussing, swear himself. Shen Yuan squeezed his eyes shut, and pulled his fangs out when a hand was rapidly brought down on his head to hit him. That fucking hurt, thanks Shizun. "You brat!" He pulled out of Shen Yuan's mouth, grimacing at the two dots of blood that was coming out of his cock. Shen Jiu glared at Shen Yuan, sending qi down to his nether regions to heal the wounds.

Shen Yuan narrowed his eyes back, and laid his head down on the sheets. Maybe that will give him the idea that Shen Yuan didn't want to suck his cock, the asshole had the audacity to hit him as well. it wasn't Shen Yuan's fault! Luo Binghe had shoved the whole thing inside, and Shen Yuan just... didn't think that it would feel like that!

He had used dildos in his first life, and vibrators, but nothing as big as Luo Binghe was. They couldn't get mad at Shen Yuan for being a little bit surprised for something getting shoved inside.

"I didn't, it was an accident." Shen Yuan panted against the sheet, grimacing when Shen Jiu grabbed him by the chin and led him back to his dick to suck. Except he must have thought the whole biting thing through, because his fingers were lodged just right so that his jaw couldn't close.

"That was your first strike." Oh, Shen Yuan didnt like the sound of that. For the moment, he was going to ignore the mean Shizun and focus on his Shixiong. Which was kind of the same thing, Luo Binghe was just sitting inside of his cunt fully, letting his shidi clench and tremble around his member. Luo Binghe was biting his lip so hard at the moment, holding himself back from thrusting in like he usually did with his husband. He rubbed Shen Yuan's hip, squeezing the bone and then moving it to the front where a bulge was under the skin.

Shen Yuan kind of forgot that was possible, but he couldn't look down since a rude man wanted to use his mouth as some sort of pocket pussy. It was worse because Shen Yuan couldn't close his mouth at all to stop the gross noises he was making, even coughing at some points. This cannot be hot... But unfortunately it kind of was. Blame the dumb pollen!

Luo Binghe watched his husband, finally kicking his own hips into action of slowly fucking his ex shidi. He watched as the bump in his stomach followed here his cock went, up and down so slowly. His hand fell onto Shen Yuan's clit, rubbing the nub with two fingers. How did Shen Yuan even feel comfortable in this position? It looked so weird to Luo Binghe, but he wouldn't move him if that is what the demon wanted.

Shen Yuan gagged once more, digging his nails into the rope to try and hold himself still. Maybe he should've gone to Shang QInghua about this, and just had that asshole fuck him. At least then, Shen Yuan wouldnt have to feel like he was suffocating the whole time, literally and figuratively. Oh, but it felt so good when Luo Binghe kept rubbing over his clit, sending loose threads of qi into the demon. God, he knew that they could feel the shredded meridians, but it was a bad time to bring it up in the middle of fucking.

Luo Binghe leaned his head on Shen Yuan's leg that was tossed over his shoulder, picking up the pace the smallest bit. His shidi's cunt was leaking slick, and Luo Binghe couldn't help it when his fingers slipped around the mess. It was hot, and got hotter when he looked up to see how his husband was doing. The man looked like he was having just as much fun, if not more with this...

Shen Yuan couldn't think, and everything escaped him by the first orgasm...