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The first day of any Life series almost always started out the same way. It was frightening how much Joel had gotten used to not remembering but knowing. He didn't remember what he did with Jimmy in past seasons, but he knew they were friends. There were some things you just didn't question. Like how he didn't question why he suddenly looked like Shrek again, like he used to back in the day. Like how he didn't question why they were in the past now–It was the name of the game, and you didn't question the game.
That was how Joel found himself running (run being a strong word with no sprint) to the nearest trees. No matter how the concept of the series could change, it still always started with the same old process: find wood, get tools, and don’t die.
The not dying part was challenged in the first few minutes when a creeper snuck up on Joel. However, he was lucky enough to orient, and quickly began killing it when he heard a familiar voice. Not one he remembered, but something inside him seemed to warm up when he heard it.
"Am I allowed in your swamp?"
Joel whipped his head around to look at Etho, who was obviously eyeing his new get up with a lot of amusement. Etho, of course, looked the same as always.
"Sure," Joel replied, rolling his eyes.
Then of course the creeper exploded, the small distraction having been enough. Etho laughed when the explosion knocked him to the floor. Joel scowled, dusting off his hands from where he’d fallen in the dirt.
"I don't think that's what Shrek would've said," Etho said with far too much amusement as he offered his gloved hand to Joel.
He considered not grabbing it to make a point or something, but decided against it and reluctantly let Etho pull him up. The moment their hands touched, Joel almost jerked back from the spark of energy that zipped through their hands at the contact. Etho's eyes widened, indicating he'd felt it too.
They made eye contact as Joel was settled on his feet again. Just like he knew he and Jimmy were friends, right now he was looking at Etho and knew something had happened between them. Annoyingly, he couldn't make sense of the familiar feeling. With Jimmy it was obvious they were best friends. With Etho he couldn't tell if the familiar feeling was because they were enemies, friends, or something more.
They both snapped out of it as Skizz came by laughing loudly. Etho turned away like nothing had happened–and technically nothing had–to talk about old Minecraft. He told them about how to get seeds and advice on fighting mobs, which was to not even try. He seemed almost animated. Every new thing he thought about sharing lightened his features. It was kind of…
Joel shook himself violently. What on earth was he thinking?
He escaped to do some mining by himself. It was always jarring starting out a new season, though it was familiar to him even if he didn't remember fully. But it wasn’t only the beginning of this world that left Joel feeling strange and mildly confused. Something about Etho was putting him off balance, pulling him in. The problem was he couldn't tell if it was an embrace or a tornado.
Too soon he linked up with the others again. They teased each other. It felt normal. It was fine. But then Joel saw Etho mining farther down, a little away from the group and felt a tug in his chest. Etho, sensing someone’s gaze on him, turned his head over his shoulder to look. Noticing it was Joel, he grinned under his mask, quirking a brow.
That was all it took for Joel to come down to join him. They didn't exchange words as they mined together, but once they turned a corner so nobody could look down the stairs and see them, Etho was grabbing him and Joel was letting him.
Etho's mask came down, and all at once they were kissing wildly. Joel was clutching Etho's jacket and Etho was gripping Joel's shoulders hard.
It was a scream from Skizz that caused them to break apart. Both of their faces were flushed and Etho's eyes were a little wide, like he was shocked at what just happened even though he was the one who initiated it, though Joel hadn't exactly pushed him away.
Joel decided to say something super charming and amazing because he was just that kind of guy. "Didn't know you had the hots for Shrek." And then he finger gunned him.
Etho snorted. "We should probably go help Skizz."
As soon as Etho turned his back, Joel slapped himself in the face, because he was being totally uncool which was rare for him because he was normally super suave and chill.
Seriously, who finger guns people when they are trying to flirt?
Was it the ache in his chest that kept dragging them back to each other? Or the low, burning pull under his skin that made Etho miss his footing on the boat elevator, the block shattering beneath him in revenge? Joel could only assume Etho felt it too, this raw, humming connection that sparked between them and no one else. No one else made Joel feel like this.
He didn’t think he liked it. It didn’t seem to matter.
One look, just one, and suddenly Etho’s hands were on him again, mouths crashing together in some shadowed stairwell or half-dug tunnel. Always hidden. Always rushed. Afterwards Joel swore he could smell smoke, like a memory he couldn’t quite place. They never talked about it. They didn’t have to. The silence between them became its own agreement, and the meetings kept happening anyway. Shorter, sharper, more desperate.
And then Scott killed Jimmy.
That snapped something clean in half. Joel didn’t hesitate. Being the boogeyman made it easier. His revenge was quick and brutal and earned.
Etho’s came faster.
Joel woke up staring at the sky, the respawn haze still clinging to him, the bite of Etho’s blade lingering in his chest. As he clambered out of the bed he could hear Bdubs shouting about them getting out of there. His eyes met Etho’s as he scampered away with his team and he could’ve sworn he was smirking under that mask. Was it wrong that he still wanted to kiss him? Right after he wrung his neck?
“They’ve boated us as well!” Jimmy cried, breaking Joel out of his thoughts.
“We need to get them back,” Joel said.
“You’ve got TNT, right? Blow up the corner of their house,” Jimmy suggested.
Joel grinned in a way he knew looked horrible while he still looked like Shrek and grabbed the goods.
“Trouble coming!” Joel heard Etho call out as they approached.
“Put a boat in that wall!” Joel cried gleefully as the TNT exploded into the corner of Cabin Core’s base. As they ran away arrows flew by them, whizzing past their heads and missing by centimeters. It was exhilarating. He turned and aimed for Etho. He only had eyes for Etho.
-o-
It was when he was building a portal to the Nether that Etho’s pathetic crew came back.
“We’re just feeling out the waters, seeing how everyone's feeling,” Etho said, spreading his arms like he was an innocent party. “Scott killed Jimmy, you killed Scott, it’s all even.”
“Don’t pretend it wasn’t all you,” Jimmy accused.
Yeah, tell him Jimmy. Tell him off for killing me.
“It was Scott who killed you!” Etho protested.
Deflecting huh? Jimmy will see through that. He knows killing me deserves justice.
“No, I'm talking about the boats! They’re everywhere! How do you get rid of them?”
Seriously? The boats? That’s all he cares about?
Etho laughed. “Pretty cool prank, right?”
Joel scowled. “We’re going to the Nether. This better all be cleaned up when we get back.”
Bdubs immediately held out his pinky as an imitation of a pinky promise even though they weren’t close enough to actually link pinkies. “We’ll even protect you.”
Joel somehow wasn’t even a little surprised that by the time they trekked back from the Villies—portal buried in crafting tables—their base had blown up. None of them even died. Well, Bdubs died, but it was basically divine retribution at that point.
The next time he saw Etho, he was lighting fires under Joel's feet.
“Etho, I swear to God-”
He only laughed in that infuriating way and deflected, talking about some trick where you could turn redstone into obsidian. Joel was ashamed to admit it worked.
When he got back to his base he resolved not to be so wrapped around Etho’s finger.
The mission failed almost immediately when Etho came over not long later.
“Hey Joel, thought I’d spend some time with you. Hang out, build some trust.”
He was suspicious, obviously, but his bashful look crumbled his resolve to turn Etho away.
“Well, you did kill me, man.” It was then the world glitched and Joel found himself stuck in an invisible block. His eyes widened. “Etho, help me. I’m stuck!”
Etho jumped into action immediately. “I’m trying, I’m trying,” he said, moving closer to quickly try and pull Joel out.
It’s like the universe itself wanted Joel to give Etho another chance. As soon as he was free, he dusted himself off. “So, you want to build trust?” He hazarded.
Etho brightened and nodded. “Yes. I brought gifts.” TNT blocks were thrown to the ground and Joel felt himself grin against his own better judgment. Etho really knew how to spoil him with what he loved.
“I do love TNT.”
“Let's do a trust exercise.” Etho said, looking pleased that his peace offering seemed to be working.
Joel eyed him suspiciously as he dug a hole, then jumped inside.
“I trust you, which is why I know you’re not gonna kill me.”
Joel’s heart quickened at that. “Yeah. I’m not.”
Etho climbed out. “Now you do it.”
Joel did, and though Etho tried being funny (he wasn’t funny) by flashing TNT, he didn’t kill him either.
“We’re off to a better foot now, right?” Etho asked, but his voice had dropped suddenly. It was a tone Joel recognized, which was why he followed when Etho walked off into the trees.
If he bit Etho a little more than usual while they made out, well, it was only fair.
Of course then it only took 0.3 seconds for Etho to go and betray him again. Well, not him personally, but it was a bit insulting that Etho kept acting like he wanted to get rid of him later when he went to the Nether with Etho, Gem, and Grian. Especially since he was being so chummy with Grian and Gem even though practically the whole server knew The Rejects and the Villains were enemies.
It’s not like Etho can’t have friends. Get a grip.
But it was hard not to feel hurt by the way they seemed to barely want to follow him to the Nether Fortress, and how they stuck him with bridging then berated him for not doing it to their standards, and how Etho got meaner when he was around Gem and Grian like he was trying to distance himself from Joel around them. He didn’t like what the Villies’ influence did to Etho. His usual playful teasing took on that mean edge when he was with them.
He felt a glimmer of hope when later Etho came inviting him and the rest of the Rejects to come play King of the Ladder. The prize for the winner was a diamond block, but it was Etho’s look that had him saying yes. Was this his apology for being mean earlier?
Joel dragged Etho into the base by his collar. “Have you seen the new entrance?” He asked with a waggle of his eyebrows.
Etho swallowed and shook his head. “Won’t I get lost?”
Joel grinned devilishly. “Hold my hand, sweetheart, and I’ll show you the way.” He ended his sentence with an overly exaggerated wink but even still Etho’s cheeks pinked.
As the maze got increasingly ridiculous, with stairs going up only to come back down again, Etho gave a rare, genuine laugh. Sure, Joel’d heard him chuckle on occasion and act cheeky, but it wasn’t very often Joel heard something so soft and delighted.
“You should be an interior decorator,” Etho said almost fondly as they got to the end of the horrendous maze.
“Welcome, welcome,” Joel said proudly, only letting go of Etho’s hand when they joined the rest of the Rejects in the main room.
Etho groaned good naturedly as he saw the back entrance that didn’t require traversing the maze to get in.
He patted Etho’s back. “Quite silly of you to take the maze when you could’ve taken the back entrance. Oh well, we can’t all have beauty and brains.”
Etho narrowed his eyes, but there was a glint in them that sent a thrill down Joel’s spine. “You clearly aren’t the one with those.”
Joel shoved Etho out the door, but only because the rest of the Rejects were there, otherwise, Joel was sure he would’ve kissed Etho instead.
A few minutes later they were at King of the Ladder. Joel really shouldn’t have been so hurt when, after chasing Etho up the ladder and punching him off to get to the prize, the entire pillar of sand came crashing down and killed almost everyone on the server. He couldn’t say for certain it was Etho, but he didn’t like the conspiratorial looks he traded with Grian and Gem. Even Bdubs seemed convinced that Etho was at fault, and they were practically attached at the hip most days.
Joel was like an addict. It didn’t seem to matter what Etho did to him, all it took was a half-assed apology and he was eating from Etho’s hand again. The events that transpired before all his armor was stolen was like a blur to Joel, but he knew who the culprit was. Etho. It was always him. He could make Joel feel so good one moment only to bring him low the next.
It was infuriating. Even more so that Joel forgave him so easily each time. Maybe it was their strange connection that made it so easy for Etho to get under his skin like this. Maybe it was why Joel believed all of Etho’s pretty lies, even when they were obvious. That’s why he had to give Etho the ultimatum. To show Etho that for all he took from Joel, he’d have to finally give something back, or he’d get nothing from Joel ever again.
So, later when he stumbled upon Etho and Ren, he made his displeasure known.
“You know there’s a green right here for you to kill, right, Ren?” Joel asked. He felt a little better at the apparent surprise on Etho’s face that he’d ever turn on him like that.
“This green was nice to me though, he gave me gifts,” Ren said.
Joel crossed his arms. “He buys you gifts, he buys your loyalty, but he’s got no friends.”
“What?” Etho spluttered. “Joel, I apologized and gave you TNT!”
“You stole all my armor and refused to give it back.”
Etho rolled his eyes. “Oh, so you’re not over it. You gotta use your words then, because you seemed fine last we spoke.”
Joel flushed, his mind giving him the unhelpful flashback of Etho pressing him against a wall and kissing him thoroughly.
“I had time to think, and I realized you’ve just been using me,” Joel accused. “You’re gaslighting me into thinking this is okay and-” He cut himself off awkwardly realizing that Ren was still here watching wide-eyed. Nobody else knew of his and Etho’s involvement and here they were having a couples dispute. Not that they were a couple.
“I’m gonna just back away,” Ren mumbled and left the two of them alone.
“Tell me then Joel, how do I make it up to you?” Etho was looking at him with that intense gaze. They hadn’t ever talked about this with each other, and it was looking like they’d finally have this talk.
“Give me my armor back.”
Etho looked pained and looked away. “I can’t do that.”
Joel pointed a finger at him, “Exactly. You think you can treat me this way then bat your eyelashes at me like I’ll just roll over and forgive you each time. You think you can kill me, and steal from me, and be mean to me, and then still be able to kiss me wherever you want at the end of the day. Well, you can’t. You have to be the one to prove yourself to me this time.”
“Tell me how. It’s too late to give your armor back, but anything else,” Etho was pleading with him now. Joel couldn’t even say he didn’t get some sick satisfaction from it.
“Kill one of the Villies. You were such great pals ignoring me in the Nether for them, so what do you want more? Them or me?”
“You,” Etho all but whispered. Joel felt an involuntary shiver go down his spine. Their connection seemed to sparkle as they held eye contact, but then Etho backed away, and then he was gone.
Joel almost couldn’t dare to hope that Etho would actually choose him for once. It wasn’t like he really minded Etho messing with him, but he wanted to know that despite that Etho still wanted him.
Joel didn’t think he’d ever been so happy when the death message eventually came through. Grian was dead. Joel and Etho found each other like magnets after that, and well, for as much Etho really got under his skin, maybe he wanted him there anyways.