Chapter Text
Cold.
So unbelievably cold.
That was the first thing that reached your conscience. Unforgiving, all-encompassing cold that bit deep into your very bones with razor sharp teeth of ice.
One by one, other sensations crept in, slowly, as your nerves took their time to wake up. A weight pushing down on you, like the air itself was heavy enough to crumple you to the floor. The firmness of some kind of support underneath your folded up body, cold and hard behind your back. The sound of your heartbeat in your ears, slow at first but picking up pace as your mind strained to regain some sort of stability. You heard steady breathing, too close, too loud, but ultimately familiar.
Yours.
A pressure on your face made itself known, and you reached up with hands trembling from the effort needed for such a miniscule movement. Something hard, like plastic, covered in a slippery substance sat over your nose and your mouth. You grabbed it as hard as you could, nails clawing under the seam where it met your skin and started pulling. Cold air rushed in the gap formed between the plastic and skin, and it was almost completely off your face when a sharp pain flared up in a circle going all the way around your mouth, your cheeks and the bridge of your nose. Even though your mind still couldn’t conjure up coherent thoughts, somewhere deep down you registered that whatever it was you were pulling, it took chunks of skin with it.
The first breath of the outside air felt wrong, too rough, too dry. It tasted like metal, settling on your tongue, coating your tastebuds, making your own saliva overwhelmingly bitter, so much so that it almost made you gag.
Your shaking fingers explored your face and found something else snaking its way up into your nose. You pinched it between your fingers but it slipped; something thick and slippery covered your hands... but not just your hands. Your entire body, every corner, every crevice, every strand of hair. It pooled in your ears, muffling your hearing, it stuck to your eyes preventing them from opening. Your skin crawled, throat constricting, shoulders jerking at the overwhelming feeling of being entirely unclean, invaded.
Your hand adjusted on the tube again and you started pulling. It was coming up from deep within your throat, and this time you really did gag. When it finally came out through your right nostril, your body couldn't take anymore. Without warning you bent over and vomited, every part of you shaking from the cold and the exertion. You heaved and tried to lift your head, but every movement was followed by another forceful ejection of warm fluids from your stomach directly onto your folded up legs under you.
When the fit finally ceased, you were left to lie on the hard surface, the last of your energy having entirely left your body. The world was spinning, your ears still plugged with the liquid that covered you, though it was now slowly trickling down on the sides of your face. Your eyes wouldn’t open, they were glued shut. You took slow breaths of the heavy air around you, teeth clattering from the cold as your mind raced to catch up. Words were pushed out of your mind and replaced with two sensations fighting for dominance; cold, pain, cold, pain, cold, pain.
Time passed without you really registering it. It was all too much; going from not feeling anything and being suspended in time to suddenly feeling everything crashing into your conscientiousness. Your senses were screaming at you loud enough to drown out the sound of your breathing and hammering heartbeat.
Somehow, you willed your fingers to explore again, relying solely on touch in place of your vision. You began with the parts closest to your hands; your legs, still crumpled under you, weak and frighteningly small, slimy and skinny. Your bones were threatening to pierce your skin, everywhere you touched felt cold and stiff. Slowly moving up your arms, you discovered another set of tubes jutting out from the crooks of your elbows, sickeningly warm. You shuddered even more violently to the feeling of the tubes burrowing into your skin. Your head spun and your heart was pounding against your ribs as you let your arms fall beside you, trying to steady yourself, even though you were seated.
You jolted when your ears finally cleared, having been finally drained of the fluid. The sounds of your surroundings attacked you all at once; a low hum of machinery, the hissing of pressurized air, a steady beeping. You couldn’t yet tell which direction the sounds were coming from, only that they were too much, too oppressive, making you wince and fasten your breathing through your chattering teeth. You sat there, the noises relentlessly crawling into your ear canals, and you felt the urge to run, to get away from there but your body wouldn’t obey, your limbs were too heavy, the pressure on your skull too tight. Your thoughts raced, still functioning on instinct, rather than anything coherent.
And then something happened.
A loud bang pierced through the monotone noises, and your head whipped to the direction of the sound. A steady thump thump thump of something heavy was coming closer, approaching quickly. You heard fabric shifting and metal clanking underneath all the ambient noise. Your breath picked up once again, as much as it could with your teeth still relentlessly clanking against each other. A new sensation entered the scene; fear, gripping your lungs with iron fists and twisting until they were completely devoid of air.
You couldn’t run away, that much was certain, and something was rapidly closing in. You couldn’t see, and despite the fear clawing at your insides, you instinctively held your arms across your chest and tried to sink deeper into whatever it was that housed your fragile frame.
You heard it before you felt it. Someone else’s breathing, right in front of you. Then the heat of their breath reached your icy skin. Without your permission, your body moved slightly towards the source of the warmth, desperately trying to find some relief from the cold.
Then there was a voice. You recognized it as human, but couldn’t register the words. It was low, deep, calm, and even though you couldn’t understand what they were saying, your body reacted as if it recognized the source as something safe. You felt your shoulders loosen as you turned your head further towards the voice. Your breathing steadied just a little and your heart didn’t feel like it was trying to escape through your throat anymore. There was something reassuring in that low, incomprehensible melody of speech that made the fear dissolve just a tinge.
There was a slight pressure on your cheeks and something that felt like fire against your skin. You took in a sharp breath before you realized it was fingers; too warm in contrast to your ice-cold, but human. The warmth acted like a magnet, pulling your face into the person’s palm without a second thought. They were still talking, though none of the words reached your brain, only the gentle touch on your face as their thumb made its way towards your eyes, wiping away the substance gluing them shut.
When you finally opened your eyes, it was painful. You couldn’t focus, your vision too blurry to make anything out other than silhouettes in the dark. Your head spun again and your hands reached up to find an anchor, grabbing onto the figure’s arms as they still cupped your face keeping your head steady. The heat radiating from them onto your body was almost too much to bear. They kept talking, so close to your face you could feel every syllable reverberating through the small gap between you. An unexpected light reached your eyes, and you felt your pupils painfully constrict. You screwed your eyelids shut. One searing hand slid down your face and put slight pressure onto the side of your neck, then withdrew and found the side of your jaw again to keep you facing their direction.
They rubbed the corners of your eyes again, and you tried to open them, tentatively. You blinked once, twice, or maybe a hundred times. It took too much effort to focus, more effort than drawing in breaths, more effort than trying to keep your teeth from clanking together, more effort than holding onto the arms that still steadied you in place. An unstoppable pressure was building in your temples and the back of your head and you felt reality slipping away, your body growing weaker by the second.
Before you plunged back into unconscientiousness, your vision finally cleared just enough to anchor on two impossibly intense, strikingly blue eyes mere inches from yours, burning themselves into your retina. Then, the world cut out again, and you fell into darkness.
~~~~~~~
Blue.
The sky outside was a vivid blue and you’ve been staring at it without realizing that you were conscious. Now that you were aware, you tore your eyes away from the window and let them adjust to the indoor lighting.
The room you were in was small, the furniture consisting only of a raised bed, a nightstand, a privacy curtain and steadily beeping and humming machinery. Gone was the metallic, bitter stench, being replaced by the clean smell of disinfectant and citrusy hand soap.
A hospital room.
You took the sights and sensations in one at a time. The fog in your brain seemed to clear as now you could name the objects you were looking at. You understood that the steady beeping was a heart rate monitor, the tube in your nose was a feeding tube and the needles in your arms were connected to the IV bags neatly hung from the stand next to your bed. You wiggled your toes under the bedsheets and stretched your fingers, testing their strength. You tensed a muscle here and there to see if you had any feeling in your body. Everything seemed to be in working order.
You returned your gaze to the sky outside. That color, that infinite clear blue reminded you of something. Something that has steeped into your very being as important, still fuzzy, not fully formed, but there. What was it?
The door opened and a nurse hurried in, changing some papers on the clipboard at the foot of your bed before glancing up and meeting your eyes. The clipboard slipped from her fingers and she let out a sigh of relief.
“Thank god, you’re awake!” She stepped closer to you and gently held your hand. “How do you feel? Let’s sit you up a bit, shall we?” She pushed a button on the side of your bed, raising the back so that you were in a half-sitting position. She then pressed a thumb onto your wrist as she waited for your answer. You opened your mouth.
“I-...” the word got stuck in your throat and you coughed violently. The nurse rubbed your back as the fit subsided, and handed you a small glass of water.
“Let’s take a sip and try again later.”
You didn’t even realize how dry your mouth was until the water hit your lips and you gulped it down almost too quickly. The nurse took the glass and smiled, noticing your pleading eyes following her hand as she set it down on the nightstand.
“I know you’d like more but I need to check your condition before I can give you another glass, I’m afraid.”
She took the stethoscope from around her neck and pulled your gown down just enough for her to place it above your heart. She hummed in approval and instructed you to take deep breaths. She then took your blood pressure, shone a bright light into your eyes, had her follow her finger with your gaze, all the while nodding and jotting notes on your chart.
“Vitals seem good,” she murmured to herself and handed you another glass of water. “Here, why don’t we try again?” You took a more careful sip this time.
You cleared your throat with a sound that was more akin to a frog than a human.
“I…” you rasped but you didn’t give up. “Where… where am I? What happened to me?”
“You’re in a private, government operated hospital,” she replied. “I’ve been taking care of you since you were brought in in critical condition a few weeks ago. You were in a coma for… a long time.”
Your stomach dropped. A coma? Try as you might you could not remember anything from the time before you woke up in this hospital bed.
“How… long?” You asked, but you weren’t sure you wanted the answer.
“We can’t say exactly,” the nurse took a deep breath. She held your hand again in a reassuring grip. “But from what we’ve gathered it’s been about ten years.”
Wait… what? Did she say… ten years?!
Your insides almost flipped over. Your breathing picked up and you could hear the heart rate monitor beep more rapidly.
“Ten…” you breathed. “Ten years.”
Your eyes fixated on the slight tremble in your fingers. You looked up again to meet the nurse’s eyes, searching for comfort. You found some, but not enough.
“What happened to me?”
She shook her head but the smile stayed.
“I’m not the one to say,” she said. “But if you’re ready, I can bring someone in who can tell you more. Do you think you can handle that?” She squeezed your hand lightly. You hesitated before nodding in silence and she stood up to walk over to the phone hanging on the wall near the door.
“Hello dear, would you be so kind as to page the case agent assigned to the patient in room 402 to come in immediately? Thank you.”
The nurse returned to your bedside.
“Why don’t we do a little introduction while we wait, hmm? Calm those nerves a little.” She looked at you with encouragement. “I’ll start, okay? I’m Lisa, I’m a registered nurse and as I’ve mentioned before I’ve been taking care of you, and will be taking care of you throughout your rehabilitation. When you need something, you push this button,” she gestured to the green button with a nurse pictogram depicted on it on the side of your bedframe. “And I will be here to help. Now, can you tell me your name? Don’t worry about answering right away, or at all, sweetie. I know it can be difficult after such a long time.”
Lisa’s eyes and face radiated the sort of kindness that instantly made you feel like you were in good hands. Your heart rate slowed to a more manageable pace and you took a sip of water before answering.
“I… My name. My name is Y/N. I think.” You added after a little deliberation. Lisa smiled.
“That seems to line up with our records. Good job.”
That earned a fleeting smile from you. A few seconds of silence later there was a knock on the door and a middle aged woman in business attire strode in, her hair done in the tightest bun you’ve ever seen, clutching a thick, dust colored folder.
“Miss Y/N?” She asked. Her voice and the sharp angles in her face gave away that she was someone with authority.
“I guess.” You said, now a bit uncertain. You felt a little like you were sitting in on an exam you were wildly unprepared for.
“Good enough.” She nodded and pulled a chair closer before sitting down. “My name is Anita Hall, I’m from the AUPIT. I’ll be your case agent for the foreseeable future. Lisa here,” she nodded towards the nurse. “Will be responsible for your physical and mental well-being, while I will be handling the bureaucratic part of your rehabilitation, such as your social integration, the investigation regarding your case and your witness protection program. You can ask any questions, however I cannot guarantee an answer unless we are ready to give it to you. Following so far?” Anita looked up from her papers to see utter bewilderment on your face but when she saw that you weren’t going to be hostile, her expression softened a little.
You gave her a slow nod. Anita continued.
“I can tell that you already have a lot of questions. In the beginning, I will be coming in daily to discuss anything regarding your case. After a while we will do less frequent, but not any less important check-ins. For starters, I’m going to ask you some questions about what you can remember from the time before you regained consciousness. Any small detail you feel might be irrelevant could very well be the opposite, so please don’t hold back. Afterwards, if your energy allows, I can answer some of your questions as well. Shall we get started?” Anita glanced at Lisa who shrugged and vaguely gestured toward you, as if to say “don’t ask me!”.
“I think I’m ready, yes.” You responded and she gave you a courteous nod.
“Wonderful,” she began, though nothing in her voice indicated that she actually found the process wonderful. She pulled a blank paper out of her folder and clicked her pen a few times. “Right. First thing’s first. Tell me all you can remember from before you woke up here.”
“I, uh…” you started. You glanced at Lisa and she immediately clocked that you needed help.
“Take your time,” she said, her tone calm and patient. “Think for as long as you need.”
You closed your eyes and tried to mentally go ten years back in time. Feelings began to surface. Floating, weightlessness. Dark. And beyond that…
“My apartment.” You began again. “I remember getting home. I was tired, I wanted to go to bed. I think,” you furrowed your brows in concentration. “I think someone grabbed me as soon as I entered. I… passed out. Next thing I knew I…” the words stopped. The cold. The pain. Your teeth involuntarily chattered again as a shiver ran down your spine.
No, let’s not go there right now.
“Next thing I knew, I woke up here.” You finished unceremoniously.
“What were you doing that day? Anything you can remember from before getting home?” Anita asked, jotting down notes. You closed your eyes again to focus.
“Yes, I think I remember going to class. It was a late class, Friday night, my friends were getting ready to go out but I was… I was doing something else. I went to buy something to eat after the…” You absent-mindedly ran your fingers up and down your arms as you spoke. When you touched the scars in the crook of your left arm, you froze. Your breathing picked up and you opened your eyes to stare at the scabs.
“I… there was a flyer. They were handing them out on campus. It was an ad from a nearby clinic. I think it said they were looking for people for a study and they offered good money…” you trailed off.
“A study?” Anita asked. “Studying what?”
You looked her in the eye. Your brain was involuntarily putting the pieces together. Terror crept into your voice.
“Blood.” You said. “They needed blood donors.”
Silence. Anita’s pen halted mid air. Lisa’s hands tightened in her lap. They both seemed to stop breathing.
“God damn it.” Anita hissed through gritted teeth.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” You demanded, panic rising in your throat. “What did they do to me? What did they do with my blood?” The questions spilled out before you could stop them.
Anita took a deep breath, regaining some composure.
“We can’t answer that yet. Not until we have the full picture. We have our suspicions, but we can only give you concrete answers to avoid spreading misinformation.”
“Then tell me what you do know!” You pleaded. The heart rate monitor’s beeping pick up and Lisa reached out to gently hold your hand.
“Maybe we should stop for today…” she began but you interjected.
“No! I need to know something, anything!” You said frantically. “Please.” You added, a little quieter.
Anita searched your face intently before glancing back at Lisa. The nurse shut her eyes and turned her face toward the window, sighing deeply. Anita looked back at you, clicking her pen once more and setting it against the paper.
“Very well,” she straightened in her seat.
“Are you familiar with the Umbrella Corporation?”