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Chenle is still giggling the fourth time Jaemin tries to kiss him, though to his credit he makes an attempt at reciprocating this time around.
Emphasis on attempt. Two seconds later Chenle loses his grip and splutters onto Jaemin's mouth, point blank, then sinks onto his shoulder to lose his shit again.
"Sorry," he says, not very sorry at all. Jaemin can tell, if the sigh he lets out is anything to go by. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this."
"I'm going to take a guess and say it was sometime around June?" Jaemin asks, raising an eyebrow. When Chenle looks back up at him, he hasn't bothered to wipe the spit off of his face, and the corner of his mouth shines where he's clearly trying not to laugh, too. "Where did you even get this? The company didn't make it, did they?"
That sets Chenle off all over again. "No, I don't know," he says. "Someone just handed it to me. A fan. Isn't it funny, though? I didn't want it to go to waste."
The it in question is a red packet, similar to any of the many Chenle has handed to Jaemin in the past few months but for the design on the front: two stars, with two leg-shaped music notes underneath. The branding is seriously cute, even on a condom.
"Love, Jeno, Jaemin," Jaemin reads, eyes flicking back up to Chenle with a glint that makes his stomach twist delightfully. "Is that what you want, baby? You want him to come over, too?"
There's a different question underneath that, one Chenle shies away from. Instead, he poses one of his own: "Do you want to wait for him to get here, or do you want to fuck me already?"
Jaemin smiles. For a moment, the answer lies open in the universe, everything and nothing at once, a pawn floating through the air before the game commences. He flips the condom around in his fingers, and it almost looks like a coin when it catches the light. Heads or tails. Jeno or no Jeno.
"Let's not wait around tonight," he says. Just over the board, the pawn hovers. "I think I just want to be inside you."
He'll take what he can get. Chenle breathes easily for the first time in a minute and pushes Jaemin until he stumbles, then the rest of the way back to his room.
The first finger is easy now, because Chenle's body knows Jaemin's fingers—all of them, he's pretty sure, on both hands. The second finger goes in similarly, with a little bit of resistance and a calming breath. When Jaemin asks if Chenle was touching himself earlier, he laughs.
"I couldn't wait," he says. If it comes out as a whine, that's probably Jaemin's fault. "It's been forever."
And really, it has. The third is a real stretch, because Chenle has been busy lately and his efforts earlier really didn't add up to that much. He's impatient, dragging his fingers over Jaemin's shoulders and chest while he grinds down on the fingers inside of him.
As much as he likes it, Chenle has better plans tonight, so he isn't shy about working Jaemin up, too. It's not too difficult—a fingernail on his nipple, a kiss to the right spot on his neck—and almost as soon as he'd like, the air between them shifts.
Chenle knows what Jaemin is about to ask by the alight stutter in his breathing, which knocks him out of whatever headspace he's been in for a good second. There's no way he's had that much sex with Jaemin. What a scary thought.
"Do you want it now?" Jaemin asks. His voice is rough like he's been moaning, too.
Chenle nods. "Like this?" he asks, flexing his thighs to raise himself over Jaemin's lap. He doesn't know how long they'll last, honestly, which is why he doesn't ride Jaemin very often, but today he's feeling needy enough to try.
Jaemin hums and moves his hands to Chenle's hips. "If you want to try," he says, like it's a done thing. Like just because Chenle doesn't spend every day in the gym training for it, he can never ride Jaemin again.
It's Jaemin's game and Chenle is losing it, he's well aware, but the insinuation irks him just enough to ignore the fatigue already setting in.
"Give me that," Chenle instructs, holding his hand out for the condom. He unashamedly likes touching Jaemin's dick—words he never would've even thought to put together a few short months ago—and rolling a condom on, while not as sexy as many other ways Chenle has touched him, is as good an excuse as any to cop a feel.
When Jaemin hands it over, Chenle wastes no time ripping it open. He should probably be more careful with the packaging, because it is cute and Chenle might want something to remember this night by, but that would take time he simply doesn't want to spend right now.
Chenle's hands don't even shake. He's locked in, laser-focused as he pulls out—
—a glove?
Two gloves?
Chenle gapes. "Is this some sort of fucking joke?" he asks. Jaemin is listing backwards, shoulders shaking as he laughs. At a time like this. "What the fuck?"
"I have to say," Jaemin snickers, "I was wondering why someone gave you a condom. That seemd a little extreme."
Like he didn't think it was a condom, too. Chenle is so frustrated, he could cry. He put lotion on his whole body for this. He even considered shaving, though he kind of ran out of time. The only thing he's thought about all day was Jaemin fucking him. And some horrible fan is going to ruin all that because they wanted to make a cheeky joke.
Well, maybe that works on Jaemin, but Chenle isn't laughing. "This is not funny," he whines. "What the fuck, Jaemin. Tell me you have one in here somewhere."
Jaemin snorts. "It's a little bit funny," he says, pushing Chenle off his lap so he can lean over to the side of the bed. "Come on, laugh a little."
Chenle does not laugh. Chenle is not in a laughing mood. Chenle glares down at the gloves in his hand and throws them over the side of the bed very maturely. His boner is on life support because of this. This should be a homicide count for whoever that was.
"This is so stupid," Chenle whines, inspecting the torn wrapper again before tossing it aside. Disposable gloves. It's plainly written, in English and Chinese. How did he miss that? "I'm never showing my face in public again. This is so embarrassing."
Jaemin snorts from where he's digging through the drawer of his bedside table. "This can't possibly be your last straw," he says. "Come on, I don't think they expected you to be this desperate for someone to fuck you. They probably thought you'd pull it out during a cooking content or something."
Chenle whines again, humiliated. He feels exposed, and not just because he's naked and fingered open and waiting. If Jaemin inspects this too closely, he's going to come across a deeper fantasy, one where getting fucked with a condom that's half-Jaemin means that Chenle is half-his.
He would take half. He'd take any fraction more than what he has now, because it would be a fraction closer to actually having him.
"So," Jaemin says after another minute of digging, breaking into Chenle's thoughts. "I'm out."
It takes a second for Chenle's brain to get up to speed. "Of condoms?" he asks. "How can you be out of condoms?"
Well, there is a vague memory of Jaemin using the last one last time Chenle was here. But that was forever ago—surely Jaemin would've bought more by now, to use with whoever else he brings back here.
"Well, Chenle, when two people spend a lot of time fucking each other…"
"Shut up," Chenle groans. "You know what I mean. I don't—this is so unacceptable. Jaemin. That was all I wanted tonight. Don't even open your mouth, I'm not getting off on your fingers tonight. I need it."
Chenle is entirely aware of what he sounds and looks like right now, and he honestly doesn't care. Jaemin turns to him, pitying.
"I don't know what you want me to do," he says gently. He's always gentle, always nice when Chenle is at his worst. "I just don't have any."
"You could go to the store," Chenle says, not very gently because he's still kind of at his worst. "You could just fuck me without it. We have options."
He catches the tick in Jaemin's face when he lays out the second idea. Then he catches the reconsideration. But he saw the first shift, and he can do the math. It's not the smartest choice they could possibly make, but it would be a lot faster. Jaemin would be inside of him.
Chenle does another late calculation, and yeah. He likes the idea of Jaemin hitting it raw. That's a little fraction of him that Chenle could take.
"You want that, don't you?" Chenle asks, the slightest push, before Jaemin can say anything stupid like oh we shouldn't, it's not safe, blah blah blah.
"Um," Jaemin says. He's turned a pretty shade of red, and his stare is heavier now. "If it's okay with you."
Chenle takes back all the mental curses he was throwing at whoever gave him those gloves. He's uncovered something here. He loves uncovering new things about Jaemin, especially unexpected ones. An entire new kink that he somehow managed to keep from Chenle until now is like finding gold.
"If I'd known you were so into it, I would've asked earlier," Chenle says, a test. It's not like Jaemin to be reckless, so Chenle relishes the way he sits against his headboard and wets his lips.
"It's not something you do with everyone," Jaemin says, effortlessly skirting the elephant in the room like always. "I might've said no earlier."
"You could say no now," Chenle counters, already crawling onto his lap. "But you're not going to, are you? You really want this. Na Jaemin loves hitting it raw. I'm gonna write that down somewhere. Do you like coming inside, too? Do you want to come inside of me tonight? If you're good, I'll consider it."
"Do you ever shut up?" Jaemin asks, cupping Chenle's face in one hand and tugging on his cock a few times with the other. "Maybe if you're good, I'll fuck you after you're done trying to ride me. Then we can talk about where I get to come."
Chenle is so gone, he doesn't even try to argue the point. Jaemin pulls him in for a deep, filthy kiss and reaches for the lube and suddenly, arguing doesn't seem all that important.
Jaemin isn't enormous, but he's not exactly small, either. The only time Chenle remembers this being easy was on a rare weekend off, after one too many rounds, when Jaemin slid in like it was nothing and it ached anyway. Most of the time it takes some varying amount of effort, and today is no exception.
Chenle is feeling extremely determined right now, though, and possibly hornier than he's ever felt in his life. It's Jaemin below him, just Jaemin, and the act of being opened up is as exciting as it is familiar. Chenle presses down until the head slides in and Jaemin groans.
"Do you like that?" Chenle asks, because he can't help himself. "Is it better?"
Jaemin looks at him half-lidded, biting his lip from the pleasure. Or as an attempt to flirt badly with Chenle while inside him. It's happened before.
Today he seems serious, though. "It's so much better," Jaemin says. "Baby. You'd better not get me used to this."
Chenle grins as he sinks down a little further. "Good," he says. He bites his lip and bottoms out before he can say something stupid like I'd do this every day if we could or I want you to want me this much forever or let's quit our jobs to have sex all the time. Okay, maybe not the last one. Maybe something more like, let's do it until you've memorized me, too.
When they started whatever-this-is, Chenle was just asking to be shown what it was like. Now he knows it by heart, by muscle memory, in just about every position he can think of. They still haven't stopped. Sometimes it feels like dangling from the edge of a precipice, unsure if what lies below is safety or death, unsure when the cliff is going to crumble underneath his fingertips but fairly certain it's going to happen sooner or later.
For now, he'll call it comfort and cling a little tighter. It's easy, is all. Convenient.
"Good?" Jaemin grunts. Chenle feels a little bit untethered. He wonders if Jaemin has noticed how much he likes this part, before his body fully adjusts to the stretch, caught perfectly on the line between pain and pleasure.
If he doesn't, Chenle has no problem letting him know. "'s perfect," he says, shifting his weight and moaning when he feels it inside.
It gets Jaemin, too. "You feel amazing," he whispers, and Chenle melts further, choking out another moan when Jaemin's hand brushes past a particularly sensitive spot on his side. "Nothing between us, baby, can you feel it?"
Chenle literally has to start moving now, or he's going to say something stupid. It's probably good that what comes out of his mouth is another chopped-up, messy moan as he circles his hips. Yes, he can feel it. He can't fucking feel anything else.
Riding is more in Jaemin's wheelhouse, but he's clearly enjoying the other side of it, too. Or maybe it's the direct contact. Or maybe he likes watching Chenle struggle as his legs get tired faster than he wants them to. It burns to lift himself up and lower himself down, so he switches to circling his hips for a few minutes, well aware that he's only delaying the inevitable. All the while, Jaemin sits back, hands resting on Chenle's hips but doing nothing to help his efforts.
Every once in a while, right when Chenle is about to give up, Jaemin will kick his hips up to meet Chenle a few times, murmuring vague praises that send another shot of caffeinated pleasure right to his bloodstream. It's the smallest taste possible of what they both know Chenle needs. It feels calculated. Chenle can't help that he likes that, too.
"Jaemin," he pants when he really, really thinks his legs are about to give out. "Oppa. Please."
Jaemin raises his eyebrows. "I kind of expected you to last longer," he says, amused. "I don't know, is it going to ruin all the fun if I take over already?"
"Maybe it'll be even more fun," Chenle says. He always loses when they do this sort of bickering, but he has to fight back a little. He has some pride, though admittedly it hasn't done much for him tonight. "You never know until you try."
"Or," Jaemin says, leaning fully back and staring Chenle down so hungrily, he almost believes he's going to start fucking him, "you could cockwarm me until you feel up to moving again. We haven't tried that one yet, have we?"
Well, no. And maybe on a different night, Chenle would agree to it, but he hasn't had sex in, like, a month. Jaemin can stay inside of him as long as he wants, but Chenle needs to come first.
"You love this so much," Chenle observes, a little bit awed. "Seriously. But how about instead, you fuck me for real, and I'll let you come inside. You know how I like it, don't you?"
This isn't exactly a risky bargain, but Chenle wants Jaemin to agree so badly it feels like it. Most days, Jaemin will bend to Chenle's will, but sometimes when he can tell Chenle really wants something he'll be stubborn about it and make him work for it. Chenle isn't used to that anymore. It's more proof of the new shape Jaemin has molded him into, so he tries not to think too hard about it.
Chenle is in luck today. "I know how you like it," Jaemin murmurs, and it makes Chenle feel like he's being melted down into components. There's a tacit, underlying truth to that statement that neither of them are going to acknowledge anytime soon, but every little brush against it all but lights Chenle's nerves on fire. They've been doing this way too long. Chenle is starting to get greedy.
Right now isn't the time for all that, though. Chenle's legs are on fire and he's desperate for friction. "Give it to me, then," he says. He's not begging, but he's close. He's not above begging if Jaemin wants to take it there today.
He almost starts, when Jaemin pulls out. But he's on his back before he can complain, and Jaemin is pushing in again, and whatever he was going to say slips away in a haze of pleasure.
Realistically, it's not much different from sex with the condom. Chenle is usually vocal in bed, and moreso when he's getting fucked into oblivion. He's too focused on being stuffed full of Jaemin to clearly gauge his reactions, but he can hear him today, so it must be good. Chenle must feel good. He'd say something about it if he could speak.
"Fuck," Jaemin says, hips stuttering just a little as he pushes Chenle's leg back. He's looking down at where they're connected, where Jaemin And Nothing Else is rocking into Chenle's body. Okay, maybe he kind of gets the whole hitting it raw thing. "You're so perfect, baby. So tight for me."
Chenle doesn't do more in response than let out another weak moan, but Jaemin probably gets it. He's had Chenle right at this point plenty of times before, not quite on the brink but past the point of real words that aren't Jaemin, more, and uhnnghghh.
He knows he's good, is the point, just like he knows Chenle. He's said Chenle was good before, and if Chenle is half as good to Jaemin as Jaemin is to him he might have a fighting chance here. Jaemin is addictive. Even as Chenle inches closer to release, he doesn't want it to be over.
There's nothing to do about it, though. Jaemin's thumb rubs over Chenle's nipple, then travels down to touch his cock, and it's as good as done. He shouldn't be surprised. Chenle has been aching for it since before he got here, and he's going to be thinking about this one for a while. It washes over him, leaves him feeling floaty and unraveled.
Jaemin hesitates after. "Chenle," he groans. "Baby. Can I—"
"I said you could, didn't I?" Chenle asks. He's curious, anyway.
He's a bit sensitive, but it doesn't take long at all before Jaemin spills into Chenle, hot and wet, and fuck. Chenle is already making future plans, a checklist of things he needs to try with this information. Maybe Jaemin will eat it out if him sometime. Maybe Chenle can uncover some sort of weird breeding kink he can harass Jaemin about until he catches it too. Maybe Chenle will just take every second of this while he can because nothing is guaranteed.
Chenle is too fucked out to do anything but bite his tongue when Jaemin pulls out and sticks his fingers back in to feel the mess. I'm yours, he thinks. I'm yours, his body repeats. I'm yours, the evidence scattered around the room, the verdict in Chenle's hand, the judgement still to come.
After Jaemin cleans them up, they cuddle.
It's part of their routine now, which was all Chenle, and it grates on him every time he thinks back to it. Jaemin wasn't bad at aftercare before, but the more Chenle gave to him, the more he needed something back. Time, skin, contact, comfort. However Jaemin thinks of it.
Chenle isn't sure he wants to know, so he wraps his arm around Jaemin's chest a little tighter and buries his nose into the base of his neck. Just a few minutes longer.
"Chenle," Jaemin says softly, breaking into the silence between them. "Uh, just because—tonight, the condom and all—are you seeing other people?"
Chenle knows what it means: should I go get tested?. He thinks up a hint of an underlying, deeper worry in Jaemin's voice anyway.
"Not really," he says. His heart feels like it's going to fall out of his chest, which is probably a sign that he shouldn't ask. He does anyway. "Are you?"
Please please please say it's only me, is what that means. Chenle prays Jaemin doesn't pick up on that. He also prays he doesn't pick up on how sick Chenle feels about it, even before the answer is given. God, it's been a month. They've both been busy, but there's always time for someone who wants it badly enough.
After half a second too long, just enough time for Chenle to contemplate how he's going to go about never seeing Jaemin in any context ever again, it comes.
"Not really," Jaemin murmurs.
Ah.
It's another fraction more than what he already had. It's exactly what Chenle wanted.
He finally relaxes, kissing Jaemin's shoulder. "Good," he says. And, just because he is insatiable, and a little bit masochistic— "Maybe if you keep it up, I'll let you do that again."