Archive of Our Own

Twenty-One Days Before Silence

Hans stared out of the window of the observation gallery, watching the oceans of swirling colors and stars crash and claw at each other. The more he stared into the endless space, the more his eyes tried to play tricks on him. He’d see a gasping skull or twitching hands right as he turned his eyes away, only to look back and see nothing.

“Sanctioned psyker.” Hans turned and saw a guardsman standing a noticeable distance from him. He didn’t fully look into his eyes.

“I don’t bite.” Hans murmured, but he knew it was no use. The politeness did nothing to hide the veiled wariness and distrust. Everyone aboard the Unbroken Vow viewed psykers like him as a potential threat, like a feral creature who could pounce at any moment.

The guardsman turned to Hans’ commissar, who had been sitting behind him the entire time. “Psyker Hans has been summoned to the briefing chamber by the Psykana overseer. I will escort you both there.”

The commissar nodded, his expression cordial. “Thank you, good sir,” he said, turning to Hans. “Psyker, come.”

As Hans followed the two men to the briefing chamber, he took a moment to calm his mind. Being summoned to the briefing chamber usually meant they were about to be deployed.

The room was packed full of men, but there was a noticeable new presence in the room.

“Ultramarines, praise the Emperor!” The commissar said. Praise the Emperor, indeed. Perhaps there was hope after all.

“Brothers and children of the Emperor!” A loud voice rang out, commanding silence throughout the room. A towering Ultramarine, easily distinguishable as the captain, stood at the front of the chamber. “We have been sent here to help you discern the threat that is taking our guardsmen and inhabitants of the Vesper System away from us. Communications have failed with previous formations and we’ve received distress calls that arrived in fragments.”

He motioned to the formation of Ultramarines beside him, all of whom were standing rigidly in their squads.

“Take the time to learn the names of my brothers, we will depart within 24 hours. Don’t be afraid, they are not arrogant and harsh like our brothers from other factions. But please, do not let me delay this meeting.”

He turned to the ship’s commander. “The priest is late, yes?”

The commander replied that he was, his eyes on the door. Clamor began to return to the room as people realized the meeting wasn’t going to start immediately.

“Psyker Hans!” a voice called out from the din. Hans bowed his head as the Psykana overseer approached him. “I have someone for you to meet,” he said, motioning to the giant of a space marine who was following him. “This is Brother Henry. He is one of the lieutenants of the relief detachment, you will be working directly alongside each other. Brother, this is Hans Capon of the Capon House of Tarentus.” Hans felt a dash of pride at the mention of his noble upbringing. Not every psyker came from high society like him.

Hans bowed his head and gave a quick, “Greetings, my lord,” before examining the lieutenant. Henry looked much like any other space marine, strong features and a tall enough stature to make a child cry and tremble with fear. Eight feet tall, perhaps?

Henry returned his greeting with a curt nod. “Psyker. I am not your lord, Brother Henry will suffice,” he corrected him with a neutral tone that left a sour taste in Hans’ mouth regardless.

Inhabitants of the Unbroken Vow became at least a little less distrustful of Hans when he mentioned his noble heritage, but Henry didn’t give him the time of day. He didn’t react with nervousness or apprehension either. In fact, Hans couldn’t get a read on Henry. His face was blank. Not impressed, not suspicious, nor did he show any emotion at all.

The priest finally arrived, saving Hans from needing to figure out how to appropriately respond.

“Let us pray to the Emperor!” The priest shouted, causing the room to become silent once more. Heads bowed throughout the room as the priest began speaking. As Hans mimicked the prayer, he glanced at Henry as much as possible without straining his eyes from his bowed head.

Henry, along with the other Ultramarines had their heads bowed respectfully, but stayed silent. Hans forgot they didn’t worship the Emperor like the rest of the Imperium did. Like he did.

Sensing Hans’ stare, Henry looked at him. He didn’t seem bothered that Hans was gazing at him. If it was anyone else, they’d feel instantly unnerved to find a psyker staring at them. Whatever he was thinking, he didn’t show it on his face.

Hans decided that Henry was unconventionally devoid of emotion. He didn’t like that about him at all.

Day One: Cyrenth

There was fear in the air, Hans could almost taste it. The members of his patrol, along with a handful of Ultramarines were investigating the disappearance of workers and communications from a local grain-processing district outside an unnamed rural settlement.

The second they touched down on one of their transport ships, Hans could feel something was wrong. And it wasn’t because his commissar was standing by him, unmoving, his eyes watching Hans closely. The constant staring was enough to unnerve anyone, especially because his commissar always kept his hand close to his bolt pistol.

“The field is too quiet,” Henry warned, giving the patrol a signal to stop. Even a normal human could deduce that. The sound of farm machinery could be heard but no one was present.

Hans felt a strong jab in his mind, a feeling of being preyed upon. He froze and tried to concentrate on the feeling.

“Wait!” he called, tightening his grip on his force staff. “Something is wrong. We need to stay together and not split up.” He cast a glance at Henry, finding him to already be looking at him.

He waited for his judgment to be questioned, but Henry simply nodded and looked around.

“We’ll set up comms here. You,” he gestured to the guardsmen, “Start the setup, we will pull guard.”

Everyone sprang quickly into action, leaving Hans to mill around inside the outer ring staked out by the Ultramarines. Henry was surveying the field, murmuring quietly with a sergeant.

Hans meandered up to him, catching his attention. He couldn’t figure out why Henry didn’t question his call, or at least give him some sort of praise. Usually, his warnings are initially met with doubt, but people were always grateful for guidance.

“Brother Henry, why did you just take my word for it?” he asked. “As far as you know, it could be perfectly safe.”

Henry looked at him calmly, giving a moment before tactfully responding, “Psyker, why do you talk like you want me to doubt you? Disregarding a sanctioned diviner without evidence would be poor battlefield judgment on my part.”

Hans opened his mouth to respond, but Henry’s eyes were scanning the area again. It didn’t take a mastermind to figure out that Henry was dismissing him.

“How cold.” Hans hissed, causing his commissar to laugh.

“Psyker, you’re foolish to think that a Son of Guilliman of all beings would see you as anything more than an asset. They see themselves as tools of the Imperium, too. This Astartes is certainly competent at what he does.” Hans couldn’t help but begrudgingly agree with the commissar, although he wished the man would disappear.

Day Three: Cyrenth

The next mission took them to an abandoned silo complex in search of a missing patrol that hadn’t reported back last night. Hans was in the same patrol as Henry again, slightly to his relief. Even though Hans found him off-putting and lacking in any sort of personality, at least he seemed to respect his position and potential foresight. It’s almost like his foresight and psychic abilities were the reason Hans was sanctioned and stationed with this detachment.

Henry led the formation through the silo complex, before coming to a halt.

“Psyker, do you detect anything?” he asked, looking at Hans.

Hans took a deep breath and focused on his divination. All he could get was the sense that something was off, nothing else was coming to him. Trying harder only resulted in a pang of pain shooting behind his eyes.

“Something is wrong here, there’s something off. But we already know that. I think the original problem that caused these silos to be abandoned is still close, but I can’t confirm.” He reported, focusing back on the patrol around him.

Henry nodded and said a few words to some of the other Ultramarines before facing back to everyone else.

“My brothers have not detected any signs of life or movement. We need to check these quickly and move on. We will split up into four groups and cover as many silos as possible. Is that understood?” The patrol gave their understanding and he continued, “Don’t move on to the next silo once you finish checking one, wait outside for us to all converge and head to the next bunch. That way, we won’t be occupied and distracted while another group might come under attack. My brothers and I will guard the outside of the silos, that we can also watch over the group setting up communications.”

The groups were divvied up, leaving Hans with a group of guardsmen and a technician who was examining the machinery, while the space marines were guarding the perimeter of the complex.

“Psyker, do you sense anything?” the commissar asked, examining the walls of the silo. Hans shook his head in response.

The silos they ventured into were eerie and quiet, but otherwise devoid of life. As they entered their fourth silo, Hans felt the hairs raise on the back of his neck.

Something was wrong.

He looked around for Henry or an Ultramarine, but they were out of sight somewhere outside. Not that guardsmen weren’t capable fighters, but the feeling felt strong for something that could just be a simple problem.

A flash of images raced through his mind, claws, something on the ceiling, a burst of red.

Something on the ceiling.

Hans jerked his head up, looking just in time to see a serrated limb shoot through his handler’s head and shoulder, hauling the already dead man off the ground. As tendrils probed into the commissar's open skull, it became apparent what he was looking at.

“Lictor!” He screamed, but as everyone else started to look up, the still camouflaged assassin began attacking everyone in range. Screams filled the air as the lictor began spearing through people with their claws and tendrils, leaving the floor red as guardsmen struggled to gain their bearings, only to be skewered as they tried to flee or fight. One such guardsman knocked into Hans as he fired his weapon, causing Hans to fall behind an overturned loader vehicle.

“No!” Hans gasped as he fell, hitting the ground with a thud that was covered by the sounds of fear. He clutched his force staff tightly, but didn’t dare to use it and try to put himself on the Tyranid’s radar. He shook, but not from the fear of death.

He had failed to save his patrol from danger. A useless psyker was easily replaceable. What if they accused him of being possessed and secretly working against them? What was he supposed to do now with his commissar being dead. With no handler, he would be regarded as an uncontrolled threat by everyone.

A loud shriek pierced the air, bringing with it an image of red staining blue that made little sense in Hans’ mind. The shriek, however, was from the Lictor, not a person.

Hans peeked his head around the vehicle to see Henry and his brothers surrounding the Lictor who was now on the floor, attacking it with deadly, machine-like precision. One of its large mantis claws was cut off and its head followed shortly.

Just like that, it was quiet again in the silo for a few moments before someone openly wept. Hans had to wipe his face to check if it was him, but it turned out to be one of the guardsmen who was crying loudly as he held the mutilated body of his fellow man.

Hans felt eyes on him and looked to see Henry coming towards him. Before either of them could say anything, Henry grabbed Hans’ arm and pulled him away from the carnage, managing to remain gentle in his touch despite being clad in a giant power armor suit.

“Are you injured?” Henry asked, looking over Hans. Hans wished he was, shaking his head. He couldn’t believe he’d panicked and hid while people around him were slaughtered like common cattle. Henry would tell everyone that Hans had failed to save his patrol and left them to die while saving only himself. He bowed his head and waited for Henry to interrogate him, ask him why he didn’t do anything.

“I’m glad. Can you walk or do you need assistance?”

Hans looked up quickly, surprise coloring his face. Henry just looked down at him with that boring expression of his, but Hans doesn’t know how to respond. Wasn’t Henry going to ask him why he failed to stop this?

Henry, seeming to read Hans’ mind, shook his head. “Questions like those can be saved for later. Right now, it’s important to check that you are safe and okay.”

Hans should have felt grateful for the concern, but being so used to some sort of suspicion, he felt more destabilized by Henry looking out for him, if anything.

Day Three: Cyrenth

Hans clasped his hands together tightly as he sat across from Henry in the temporary field medicae station that had been set up in a farm chapel.

It was going to happen. Henry would ask him if he had been possessed or lost control. Maybe question why he hadn’t received the warning until it was already too late. Hans knew Henry could recommend him to be executed, especially now that he didn’t have a commissar.

Henry studied his face before asking, “What do you remember?”

Hans looked down at his hands.

“I got a vision in my mind of claws, and blood, and just the realization that something was on the ceiling. But as soon as I looked up, the lictor was already striking. I looked as soon as I got the warning, it just came too late.” Just thinking about what had happened made his head hurt even more than it usually did when he used any kind of divination.

Henry hummed gently. Hans didn’t need to look to know Henry was searching his face, looking for deceit or cowardice.

“Will you be able to sleep tonight?”

Hans looked up at Henry, really looking at him for the first time since they had sat down.

“Sorry?” he asked, not sure how to answer the random question. Henry seemed unbothered by Hans’ inner turmoil.

“It’s a terrifying thing to witness death on such a large scale. I’m sure you blame yourself to some degree, but it was not your fault. Divination is rarely perfect.”

Hans felt a flash of irritation at Henry’s words and attitude. It pissed him off that the Ultramarine was reading him so easily and talking to him like he understood what Hans was feeling. Henry didn’t seem to feel anything at all in that machine-like brain of his.

“Why aren’t you mad at me? People died because I couldn’t save them!” he asked in an aggravated tone. He hated to admit it, but Henry wasn’t wrong. He did blame himself.

“Anger won’t change the outcome or bring back the dead. What’s done is done. Yelling at you won’t help you recover enough to prevent your next mistake,” Henry answered matter-of-factly.

Hans gritted his teeth, this fucker really was heartless. If anyone else had said that, Hans would have seen it as caring, but Henry seemed as capable of caring about someone as a log.

“Alright, enough for now. I’m sure the ship command will wish to speak to you further,” Henry said as he stood up. “Come, I will take you to get checked out. If you are having headaches, make sure to tell them.”

Despite Hans’ ill impression of Henry, he was surprised to find that the Ultramarine stayed by his side after the report was done, watching over him as he received care.

Day Five: Cyrenth

There was panic in the briefing room of the Unbroken Vow. Astropathic messages were failing left and right. Since the beginning of the solar day, navigation reports had been unreliable, as well. And worst of all for Hans, the psychic personnel aboard the vessel had begun to suffer.

Hans felt like he was suffocating in his own mind. He had had bad headaches before, but this was by far the more severe ones. It felt like there was an immense pressure behind every thought he dared to have. His witch-sight was dim, although Hans usually refrained from using it out of respect for others’ privacy.

All of the psychic personnel were gathered in the briefing room for an emergency briefing, but they were all struggling just as much as him. An astropath groaned under her breath next to him, staring at nothing with impaired eyes.

At the request of the vessel’s commander, Hans and other diviners tried to catch a glimpse of anything, but any time Hans tried, it seemed like he was about to see something but it went blank. The more he tried, the worse the pain became.

Bad enough to make him dizzy at one point, causing him to sway on his feet. A wave of nausea hit him like a wall, causing him to pitch forward. Before he could hit the floor, he was caught.

Feeling the chill of metal through his clothes, Hans opened his eyes and saw Henry, and many others in the meeting room looking down at him.

He wished he could sink into the ground and disappear from the embarrassment of nearly fainting in a meeting. What sort of diviner could he be if he couldn’t survive psychic interference. He was young for a psyker, but he wasn’t new by any means.

“I’m fine.” He pushed himself out of Henry’s grip and turned away for a moment to compose himself. His fellow psykers tried to check on him, but Hans was burning with humiliation at the tickling stares of everyone around him. He knew there was someone mocking him, questioning his abilities. Hell, it could even be the whole room.

“It’s undeniable. Look at how Psyker Hans is struggling to use his psychic abilities.” The commander began speaking to the room.

Oh, for crying out loud.

“There is a Shadow in the Warp, we can’t deny any longer that Tyranids are at fault for the missing patrols and settlements. I believe an invasion is imminent.”

This day couldn’t get any worse for Hans. Although he had already realized what was happening, hearing it put into words brought a new sense of dread.

First his commissar died and now he couldn’t perform his duties well. All eyes would be on him with every step he took.

As the meeting adjourned, Hans and the rest of the psykers were gathered to be escorted back to the Psykana Ward.

Henry moved to stand beside Hans, looking down at him.

“Make sure to get medical attention if the headaches get too bad. This will be a hard time for us all.” Was all he said before walking away.

Hans thought he was for sure going to say something about him almost bashing his brains out on the floor, but maybe Henry had some tact after all.

Day Six: Transit

A knock on his door startled Hans out of a dutiful prayer, but to his surprise, he didn’t find himself feeling annoyed like usual. He didn’t think the Emperor could hear him under the Shadow in the Warp, anyway.

Without waiting for an answer, the door opened and three people walked in. The commander holding a written order, the Psykana overseer, and Henry. This couldn’t be good.

“Psyker,” the commander started, “You are surely aware that you are without a commissar. We have sent a request for a new one, but I have doubts of it reaching Terra in time. It would be unsafe to assign two psykers to a single commissar, so we will not put you under the watch of someone else’s handler.”

The commander motioned for Henry to step forward. “Brother Henry will have operational authority over you during missions until the new commissar arrives. You will take orders from him during those times and he will escort you everywhere you need to go off of the vessel.”

Hans barked out a humorless laugh.

“Wonderful.”

The commander was unsure whether to take it as approval or not. It definitely was not.

Day Six: Transit

An hour later, Henry stood at the entrance of a small chapel overlooking the warp. The armored giant stood for multiple moments in the doorway before speaking.

“You wished to see me, Psyker?”

Hans looked up from where he was sitting, folding his arms defensively over his chest.

Henry could see the displeasure in Hans’ face, but to his surprise, the man seemed to distrust him.

“Apparently you are my handler now.” Hans started, causing Henry to frown.

“I am not.”

“The order says you’ll accompany me on deployments.”

“Yes.”

“So you’re in charge of me.”

“No.”

Hans rolled his eyes. Henry could easily figure out that Hans was worried what being under the authority of an unknown person could mean. At least commissar’s were trained and predictable in their roles, but Henry was an unknown person to him.

“Brother Henry, I may not be an Ultramarine, but I can read perfectly fine.”

Henry sighed internally and gave Hans a moment to collect himself. Hans didn’t seem to interpret his silence well by the way his eyebrows furrowed. Henry stepped into the chamber and closed the door behind him.

“The order does not place you under my authority beyond field operations,.” he said, causing Hans to snort.

“Of course not.” Such open defiance from another Ultramarine would have warranted swift correction, but Hans was not one, so Henry disregarded this behavior.

“It doesn’t” Henry said with such certainty that Hans paused. “I cannot punish you.” Henry continued as if reciting a report. “I cannot, nor will I ever try to confine you. I don’t have the clearance to make medical decisions for you, but I can make suggestions. My sole responsibility is to make sure you are not abandoned during field operations or any mission we go on.”

“That’s it?” Hans asked with an expression that mimicked eating something particularly bad. Before Henry answered, he laughed. Actually laughed. It wasn't the reaction Henry was expecting, but he didn’t let his confusion show.

“Is that it? That’s ridiculous!” He scoffed.

Henry had to disagree, there were worse people to be put over Hans in terms of protection and keeping a watchful eye.

“I don’t think it is at all.” Was all Henry offered as a response. This was the most they’d ever said to each other, if only it could have been under better circumstances.

Hans slid off the bench and began pacing around.

“And what if I tell the commander to go to hell?” he asked.

“I would not advise that.”

“But you can’t punish me for doing it.”

“No.” Although the commander definitely could, but Henry decided not to say that part out loud as to not agitate the psyker any more.

“So what if I just ignore you?” He challenged.

Henry was curious to know in what regards. “It depends on the circumstance.”

Hans stopped pacing and pointed a finger at him.

“There it is! The part where you’re actually in charge.” Henry was sure he looked at least a little confused by Hans’ behavior. But he had to get to the bottom of Hans’ concerns.

“I am not.”

“Yes you are! You have a bolt rifle.”

“Yes.”

“And you could tear me apart with your bare hands. You’re eight feet tall for crying out loud. Surely you can see how we are not equals in this arrangement!” Henry could easily see that Hans viewed him as a possible threat. Is this how psykers usually feel?

Henry rehearsed his words in his head before saying, “We are not equals. You perform many duties that I cannot. I will never gain visions that could save countless lives. The Emperor does not speak through me. You bear a burden that I will never understand.”

Hans didn’t seem to know what to do with that. “The distinction matters.” Henry added. Henry genuinely believed it did. There was too much that was different between them for them to ever compare themselves to each other. In Henry’s mind, they were both just as important. A battle without an Ultramarine could be a disaster, but a battle could be avoided entirely with a skilled diviner.

Hans didn’t answer immediately and stared out of the chapel window. Henry gave him time to think.

“You’ll have to kill me. The second I show possession.” It was a harsh aspect of their relationship. If Hans showed any sign of possession, Henry would have to put a bolt through his head without any hesitation.

“I can promise you that I will not bring any harm to you without reasonable cause. I am aware some effects of the Shadow can mimic signs of possession. I am not a commissar, but my mind works faster than you can blink your eye. If you were to be with anyone on this ship, a space marine is your safest bet.”

Hans let out a puff of breath and looked back at him.

“You’re trying to make this sound less controlling than it is.” He said, but he seemed to be letting go of his anger. Henry was glad. He didn’t want Hans to be angry at him for something neither of them could control.

“I’m describing it as accurately as I can, I give you my word. If we get deployed together, I will do everything in my power to bring you back safely.” That seemed to calm Hans down, as the psyker averted his eyes, a small smile playing at his lips.

“I suppose there’s a lot of other people I could get stuck with that would be way worse than you. At least you don’t look at me like I’m a dangerous threat waiting to kill you.”

Henry couldn’t help himself: “I’m pleased you think so!”

Hans groaned and hid his face in his hands. “Oh, Emperor preserve me!”

Though Henry would never admit it, the Ultramarine almost smiled.

Day Fourteen: Transit

Hans was beyond irritated. He and Henry had spent several hours in the training cage where the Ultramarine had been training him for over a week. Even though Hans wasn’t a soldier by any means, Henry insisted on teaching him how to retreat without turning his back, when to use cover instead of waiting for a vision, and how to keep a knife or laspistol accessible when his powers fail.

Training already was hard for him, but the effects of the Shadow were often crippling, especially when they came back from missions. Henry had requested that the medics give Hans extra pain treatment and while it did actually help him feel a little closer to normal, they wore off quickly and left the discomfort behind. It felt like there was static electricity in his mind every waking moment, but Hans had to force himself to push through it.

Hans trailed his fingers over the laspistol in his hands. Henry gave it to him on the first day of their training. He had no clue how Henry pulled off getting one issued to him. Henry had somehow convinced the commander that a staff wasn’t enough to keep Hans safe in case they got separated.

The weapon had been cleaned meticulously. Although Hans hadn’t asked when Henry gave it to him days ago, he knew Henry had spent the time to clean it, despite having his large hands to make things more difficult. The idiot.

He would never admit it then, but the gesture left an uncomfortable warmth in his chest.

People didn't usually do things for him unless duty required it. Most looked at a psyker and saw a future disaster waiting to happen. He was no stranger to people seeing him as a world-ending threat. Henry, apparently, saw a dirty weapon.

Remembering how he got the pistol wasn’t enough to quell the negative feelings rearing their ugly head in his mind. He felt ill each day, migraines, vision issues, waking up with bile in his throat. And on top of that, Henry demanded that they trained each day.

Hans trained till his muscles ached and his mind screamed, but Henry never offered him any praise. Never a ‘good job,’ or ‘okay job,’ or even a ‘go fuck yourself, Hans.’

All he did was give him corrections and point out what he did wrong. Hans had almost blown a fuse when Henry calmly remarked that he kept on ‘relying on foresight in areas where observation would have sufficed’ like he was reading the news. Excuse Hans for not spending decades doing training and mental conditioning in the name of being a lean, mean battle machine.

But at the same time, Hans could easily refuse to come to practice, yet he did not. Hans never had anyone to interact with, except for his commissar and occasionally another psyker, so having a new person who seemed to be interested in interacting with him, duty or not, was exciting. And Hans couldn’t lie, outside of training Henry wasn’t bad company. It seemed like he actually cared about Hans in some ways, as much as a dead log can.

He’d ask Hans about his headaches, offer to go grab medication for Hans immediately upon any mention of needing it, and drop what he was doing to take Hans wherever he wanted to go.

Hans had always wanted a friend or someone who would see him as more than the potential possession that looms over his head, and Henry was all he had when he thought about it.

With the escort of a couple guardsmen, Hans was able to find Henry in the officer archives. Henry was sitting on a chair that was hanging on for dear life while reading a book.

“Reading that codex of yours again?” Hans sneered as he caught sight of him, but there wasn’t enough heat in his tone as he had hoped. In truth, even though training with Henry was enough to drive Hans up the walls, the chances to connect with someone else still meant too much to him. He wasn’t sure if he was here to pick a fight or just be around Henry.

Henry looked up as Hans spoke, although Hans knew Henry had been aware of him before he even entered the room. Henry closed the Codex Astartes in his hand and set it down on the Regicide table next to him.

Okay, that was a good sign. While Henry didn’t show much of any emotion on his face or in his voice-except for rare occasions-Hans had learned that Henry would take a shallow breath when something displeased him, like a whisper of a sigh. Henry certainly did it a lot when they were training.

Seeing as Henry wasn’t showing an aversion to seeing him, Hans thanked the guardsmen and strode up to Henry.

“You!” He barked, pointing at Henry in what some could interpret as an offensive manner. Henry simply raised an eyebrow, inviting him to continue.

“Play a game of Regicide with me. I bet that book of your doesn’t teach you anything about how to play it.” he challenged.

Much to his delight, Henry let out a little puff of air at that statement. “Don’t call the codex just a book, it is a guide by which us Ultramarines live our life...” Hans started tuning him out after that as he set up his side of the game.

Realizing he wasn’t listen, Henry simply shook his head and joined him at the table. That was one thing Henry stayed true to. He didn’t rebuke or try to punish Hans just like he had told him that day in his warded quarters.

Hans had seen Henry scold guardsmen who had made mistakes on the vessel that could have translated to real danger in the field, and much to his surprise, he found listening in to be quite pleasing. Even in discipline, Henry had that straight-edged manner of his. Hans was glad someone else knew what it felt like to stand beneath it, waiting for anger that never quite showed itself.

The game started and they both got focused in it before Henry spoke up suddenly.

“Are you still angry about our training today?” Boy was he ever. Hans paused and gave Henry a less than friendly look.

“You were being so hard on me today. Always pointing out everything I do wrong, never trying to compromise on things I struggle with, and honestly, would it kill you to give me a compliment every once in a while? I’m not conditioned for this like you are, I really do try!” Hans stopped himself with a sigh, he didn’t want to start a one-sided argument with Henry so soon. He always ended up looking silly during those.

“It’s just,” he continued, “A little unmotivating sometimes. I feel like I’m being treated like a faulty weapon. Why are you training me to fight physically or not use my foresight? It feels like you have no faith in my psychic abilities, shadow or not. I know that’s not actually the case but-”

“So you know that’s not the problem. I want you to be able to survive when no one is there to protect you. Battle is just as unpredictable as it is predictable. I can process information in a nanosecond, but it doesn’t mean I can automatically stop things from going wrong.” Henry refuted.

“You always assume the worst.”

“Survival is easier when you are prepared for it. When the next lictor comes for us, you will know now to get away safely without attracting its attention. You are too valuable to lose, Hans, do you see what I’m saying?”

Henry look up to find Hans staring up him, a piece unmoving in his hand.

“What is it?”

“You usually call me Psyker. That’s the first time you used my name.” Hans pointed out.

Henry thought about and nodded. “That’s true. However, since we will be close companions from now on, isn’t it good if we get to know each other? Additionally, you called me by my name this morning.”

Hans blinked at that last line. “I did? No I didn’t?”

“You did.”

“Nuh uh.”

“You complained and called me Henry earlier when I was showing you how to crawl forwards on the floor.” He reminded him mildly.

Oh, Hans remembered now. Henry had him crawling around like an infant who hadn’t learned how to use any of his limbs properly yet. Hans had been irritated because Henry kept on reminding him to keep his head low to the ground, but he had also gotten a little flustered because Henry kept on touching and grabbing him to adjust his position and help guide him through the motions.

For someone who could kill him easily with one hand, Henry possessed the great strength to be gentle. Human contact wasn’t something Hans was accustomed to as a psyker, so every adjustment made by Henry left him craving for more. His mother had been the last person to touch him with any sort of care.

“Give me a break, Henry, I’m becoming more floor than psyker!” Hans had complained loudly earlier as Henry pressed down lightly on the lower part of his back to keep him close to the floor.

“Oh yeah, I guess I did. Sorry, I was just a little frustrated earlier, I wasn’t trying to drop formalities.” Hans said sheepishly, clasping his hands together so he didn’t fidget with them.

Henry shook his head and moved one of his pieces. “Don’t apologize. I didn’t mind it at all. You can call me Henry from now on if you’d like.”

Hans didn’t know how to respond to that. This is maybe the closest he’d been with anyone since boarding the vessel, maybe even since he’d been taken on the blackships that ripped him from his home. Even his fellow psykers haven’t called him by his first name.

“Alright, alright, back to the game.” Hans said, turning back to the game before he read too much into his own emotions. If only he could use witch-sight on himself.

The rest of the game followed with Hans making snarky remarks and Henry responding good-naturedly. Despite the many suspiciously good moves Hans makes using his intuition, Henry didn't comment. And it was obvious Henry knew what Hans was up to.

But as good as Hans fought, Henry eventually beat him. After all, there was truly nothing comparable to the mind of an Ultramarine.

“You know,” Hans grumbled, “besides being an Ultramarine, I didn’t realize bullying civilians during recreational activities was one of your specialties.”

Henry glanced up at him, holding both of their overlords in hand.

“You demanded a challenge.”

Hans scoffed and rolled his eyes. “No, I expected sportsmanship.”

“You expected to win, you mean?”

“Yeah, that too. I totally deserved that win.” Hans said sulkily. He made a face akin to someone being stuck on the latrine after a particularly awful meal before both pieces were knocked out of Henry’s hands with no warning. Henry looked down at the pieces, at his hands, and then at Hans again.

“You never told me you had telekinetic powers.” He said with surprise as he bent down to pick up the pieces.

Hans chuckled and leaned back in the chair before warning, “If you try beating me again, it’ll be your pants dropping down next.” What he didn’t tell Henry was that his head was starting to pound just from using his psychic powers while under the effects of the Shadow.

Henry squinted at him before letting out a single laugh. Hans’ eyes almost bulged out of his head. It was quiet, brief, and easy to miss, but to Hans, it sounded clearer than the din of a thousand Unbroken Vows.

Henry knew what laughter and joy was?

“I never thought someone like you would know how to laugh!” He blurted out. Henry rolled his eyes as he packed up the game. It seemed that Hans’ mannerisms were starting to rub off on him too.

“Ultramarines aren’t carved from stone, psyker. We were all humans once. We like jokes and humor just as much as everyone else. We’re just disciplined enough to know when it’s the time for that. Control is vital to an Ultramarine.”

“It’s Hans, Astartes!” Hans corrected him before continuing a little more quietly, “so what do I do if I get bored or just want someone to pass time with?”

Henry looked him in the eyes with a whisper of what could have been a smile. “You know where to find me, Hans. Now, I will be returning to my codex readings. Surely you would be delighted to join me?”

The door was swinging close behind Hans’ fleeing figure before the words finished leaving Henry’s mouth.

Hans made it back to his quarters and collapsed on his bed, looking up at the ceiling.

He stayed quiet for several minutes, deep in thought.

“By the Emperor, he called me Hans,” he whispered.

Day Thirty-Five: Transit

Hans sat in the observation gallery with his eyes squeezed shut and his hands over his ears. After returning from a particularly exhausting mission, he was dealing with the aftermath of using his divination. Even though The Shadow had lifted somewhat, the effects were still damning.

The Unbroken Vow had just emerged into realspace near a bright star, completely blinding Hans. Despite retaining no damage to his eyes during the binding process, he still had extreme light sensitivity after using his divination heavily. The Shadow made the consequences more drastic.

“I need to get back.” Hans groaned to himself, pulling his dark eye-wrap out of his pocket. Putting it on would essentially blind Hans as he navigated his way back to the entrance of the gallery, but he had no choice. He had to get away from the brain-eating light and get back to the comfort of his dim room.

Slowly, Hans got up and carefully moved around, trying to find the nearest wall. He dodged various guardsmen and workers but didn't stop to ask for help. He’d rather die and ask for mercy for the same people who feared and despised him.

Even as his head swam from dizziness and his stomach lurched, he tried to figure it out on his own. Due to his previous noble status, Hans got the slightly longer end of the stick than his fellow psykers in the Psykana Ward, but it wasn’t by much and he was well aware of that.

“Hans.”

Hans paused at his name falling from familiar lips, looking up to where he knew Henry’s face would be.

“Henry, I don’t feel so good. I want to go back to my room, but I think I need to sit back down again.” Hans wheezed.

Hans startled as a large hand held his elbow gently.

“May I help you find a spot to sit down?” Henry asked softly. Hans appreciated the gesture, but he didn’t want others to think less of Henry for openly helping him around. However, before he realized it, his hand was clutching Henry’s.

“If there’s a darker spot-hell, if there’s anything darker, I’d be really grateful.”

Henry hummed and led Hans further through the room. As they moved past mingling groups of people, Hans was surprised to find that he fully trusted Henry to help him. They had only known each other for just under two solar months, but Hans believed Henry would have his best interests at heart.

So far, Henry had not proven him wrong. He had managed to learn a little more about the Ultramarine, and had even become better at discerning the tiniest signs of emotion on his face. When he was around Hans and no one else was present, Henry noticeably allowed the tight control he kept on his emotions to slip a little.

It felt like a large win that Hans hadn’t realized he was trying to get. The two of them, they had this strange harmony between them. Of course, Henry still spent most of his time with his blue-clad brothers, but he would always make time for Hans.

“Here.” Henry warned him, guiding him to sit down on a bench. Hans could tell this part of the gallery was dimmer by the lessening amount of light that pierced through the eye-wrap.

“Thank you, Henry,” he breathed out, taking a moment to take some deep breaths and center himself. If he was being honest, Henry’s presence had staved off the sickness quite a lot.

He wondered if Henry was looking at him, maybe thinking about how pitiful he was. Right now, he needed something to distract himself. “You don’t have to answer this if it upsets you, but do you remember your home before you became an Ultramarine?”

Henry was silent for a bit, and Hans began to think he was going to ignore his question until he slowly answered, “I do. I came from Macragge. Even though it’s been over a hundred years, we Ultramarines are very dedicated to preserving our memories and history. My family were proud of our ties to Ultramar. Before I was chosen to be an aspirant, I used to train hard every day and spend my nights by the ocean side or staring at the mountains on the horizon.”

Hans waited for him to keep speaking, but nothing more followed.

“Do you,” he prompted, “miss your home? Or your family?”

Henry was silent again. It was weird; Henry usually responded instantly due to his advanced mental processing, but he seemed to be deliberately taking his time to answer his questions.

“I don’t know if ‘miss’ is the right word.” Henry started hesitantly. “The memories feel distant. I remember what my mother looks like, but I have long forgotten her voice. I don’t remember her birthday or her favorite color. My father was a proud man. He raised my brother and I with the goal of one day becoming an Ultramarine. If only my brother Samuel had survived the trials.”

Hans winced at the sudden grave information being dropped on him in such a lackluster tone.

“You talk like you’re just reading your memories off of a written record. Do you ever sit and dream of what it was like in your childhood or find yourself thinking about small details such as the way your family gathered to eat their final meal of the day? I do.” He asked Henry. “And, I’m sorry about your brother.”

Henry sighed, not quietly and under his breath, but a heavy, tired sound. “What use does dwelling on the past do? It brings me no comfort. They are all dead and the home I grew up in is gone. All that I remember will never be again.”

If Hans could punch himself for asking such a question, he would. He opened his mouth to apologize for bringing up some unpleasant memories up, but Henry continued on. “What about you, Hans? Tell me of your home.”

Hans gladly took the bait to change the topic away from Henry.

“I come from Tarentus, it was an agricultural society, but much more pleasant than the one we’ve been on. House Capon is minor nobility. Not enough to matter on Macragge, but we were very important. I suppose that’s what made it more jarring when my psychic abilities manifested. My parents lost their only heir in what felt like overnight.”

Hans sighed and shook his head.

“It still saddens me to think about the life I could have had. I was going to inherit responsibility, wealth, servants, and a life where people knew and respected my name. I remember the glass domes of fields that we managed. The sunlight would shine through and I would run around and feel it burn my skin. It didn’t hurt, though, because I was free. I could be spoiled by my parents and be loved without needing to earn it.”

Hans paused, feeling a strong wave of nostalgia hit him. And loneliness. He wanted to be loved so badly that his bones ached.

“But that’s gone. The sunlight that I used to love hurts me now. I don’t have any warm hands to hold, anyone to hug or care for.”

“Henry, I’m so... lonely. I miss connecting to people so much, it hurts.” Hans didn’t realize he had been wringing his hands together until Henry separated them gently. If he hadn’t worn his eye-mask, he was sure his eyes would have welled with tears.

“I’m sorry you had that life taken away from you. Unlike you, I chose to go down the path I am on now. I wish I had memories the same way you do.” Henry responded carefully.

Hans considered Henry’s words before reaching for his hand and patting it.

“A memory without emotions is still a memory. It’s not the same as being home or feeling the shadows of your past around you, but it’s still a memory.”

Henry was quiet for a few moments. Hans waited for some tactical military-focused propaganda, but it never came.

“That unsettles me. I want to feel normal sometimes. But that’s not what I am anymore.” Henry cleared his throat before Hans could think of a response. “How do you feel, Hans?”

Now that Hans thought about it, he still felt like absolute crap. Just a little better. The dizziness and nausea had abated, at least for now. Once Hans got back to his quarters, he could take some medication and maybe say a few prayers before taking a nap.

Henry dutifully escorted Hans back to his door, guiding him with expert skill. Once Hans was back inside, he was finally able to take off his eye-mask. It took his eyes a moment to focus on Henry, but he could see the Ultramarine was standing in front of him, looking down at him with a weird expression.

“Are you okay?” Hans questioned. Henry nodded, but Hans heard the quiet breath he sighed out.

“I’m the same as usual. I’ll leave you to rest now. Have a good night.” Henry said quickly before turning away and heading back towards the ward exit.

“Henry.” “Hans.”

They both paused, having called out to each other at the same time. Hans motioned for Henry to go first.

“If you ever feel lonely again, call for me. I cannot restore what was taken from you, but I will not leave you to endure it alone.” Henry said before turning and walking away, leaving Hans stunned. He couldn’t imagine Henry being the one to offer any sort of companionship, but here he was.

Hans put his hand on his chest, realizing that his heart was racing. It felt like a Warp storm was dancing in his stomach but it didn’t make him feel sick at all. If anything he felt thankful and sad. Sad because as he watched Henry walk away, he realized that he, too, had lost the life he could have had. At least Hans still had the comfort of knowing his family was alive and still feeling close to his memories.

It was a luxury Henry hadn't been afforded.

Day Forty-Five: Nemea

The transit tunnels were shaking again. Fine dust rained down from the ceilings, causing civilians to cough. Thousands of Nemean inhabitants shuffled through the evacuation corridor towards dimly lit shafts. The cries of scared children, family members trying to locate each other, and desperate pets created a dreadful cacophony. If Hans could will himself to go deaf, he would.

Hans stumbled as another impact echoed through the hive world’s mantle. Something was wrong. Not physically wrong, but wrong nonetheless. His stomach tightened as he searched in his psyche for what the problem could be. The future in his mind seemed crowded: dust, collapsing ceilings, screaming, and something unnatural attacking. A sharp pang of pain behind his eyes forced him out of his own mind.

“Henry.” Hans ran up to Henry’s side, getting his attention. The Ultramarine turned to look down at him immediately.

“What do you sense, Hans?” Henry asked instantly, not even asking first if Hans had a psychic vision or if it was something else. Hans hated how good Henry was at reading him.

Hans looked ahead and pointed at the left tunnel in a split that they were facing.

“We need to stay away from that tunnel. I don’t exactly know everything, but I think there’s something dangerous in there that will cause a cave in.”

“What do you see?” Henry asked.

The pressure behind Hans’ eyes intensified.

“I don’t know!” he snapped, before clearing his throat and continuing, “I just know there will be horrible deaths if we go that way.”

Henry studied him silently for a moment before turning away and activating his vox.

“Redirect all evacuation traffic from Corridor One to Corridor Two.”

The order went out instantly and within seconds, Hans could hear the guardsmen redirecting the flow of traffic.

It still surprised Hans that Henry listened to him instantly. Not questions, no argument, no nothing. He looked up at Henry, feeling a little touched that Henry was willing to trust him so blindly.

“Are you going to ask me why I redirected them immediately?” Henry asked while keeping his eyes focused on the tunnel. Oh, Hans really hated it when Henry predicted what he was thinking or going to say.

“Well, yeah. Why would you change route without any thought?” Hans questioned. It still felt too good to be true that Henry would just listen to him, but the blind faith also made Hans feel more likely to second-guess himself.

Henry gave Hans a matter-of-fact look. “Because you warned me.”

Hans opened his mouth to tell Henry how simple-minded that sounded, but the roof of the left tunnel collapsed before he could speak.

The sound of ferrocrete, steel beams, and shattered infrastructure crashing together was so loud that the ground shook around them. People screamed as a wave of dust blinded them.

Seconds later, termagants started pouring out of the debris. Hans had no time to react before chaos exploded around him. The termagants scrambled over broken rubble and fell upon the crowd, shooting organic matter from pulsing weapons that were part of their anatomy.

A woman screamed and choked as flesh burrowers dug into her throat, leaving her to pull and scrape at them as she sunk slowly to the ground, doomed to a slow and painful death.

Nemean soldiers and guardsmen returned fire, engaging in a vicious and bloody battle with the Tyranids. And then the hormagaunts appeared. Hans could barely even discern where they came from. One moment the tunnels were dust and gunfire, and now it was full of claws and blood.

The hormagaunts vaulted over the rubble and their Termagant counterparts. Unlike the termagants, these new Tyranids were clearly built for speed.

A civilian stumbled in fear, only to be pounced on by a hormagaunt. A bolt round tore through its torso before it could claim a life. Henry advanced through the tunnel, slashing and hacking with his power sword and firing from his bolt rifle. The Ultramarine looked impossibly large against the swarm. If Hans hadn’t been losing his ever loving shit, he would have felt a flash of admiration for his bravery and prowess.

Henry’s bolt rifle fired and a hormagaunt exploded. A termagant died before it even hit the ground.

The evacuation continued behind the defensive line. It was slow and painful, but it was the best they could do. Many reached the lift, but not all.

Day Forty-Five: Unbroken Vow

Officers gathered around holographic displays as reports streamed in from across the hive world. Hans found himself comfortable in the back of the room. He was tired and sore and his head was throbbing. It was coming to the point that the lights in the room were becoming too bright for his comfort, but he pushed through the pain.

Henry stood beside the command table as he was giving his report.

“One hundred and twenty-eight civilian casualties,” he stated. His voice was controlled and steady, like he was reporting ammunition numbers. No mournfulness, regret, or even a visible emotion. It was just the blank voice and expression that Hans hated.

“We have forty-three wounded guardsmen, seven lost transport vehicles, and we’ve lost contact with a patrol that was sent out to scout the tunnels out before the evacuation. We believe they are dead. The evacuation objective was achieved.”

The commander nodded, and wrote something down.

“And how many would have died if we went down Corridor One?”

“Approximately two thousand.”

The room went silent before people started shifting their attention to other reports.

Hans waited for something more, but nothing came.

“Is that all they are?” Hans questioned loudly, causing several people to look at him. Henry looked towards him.

“They’re just one hundred and twenty-eight dead people?” He questioned.

“That is exactly what they are.” Henry stated calmly. Hans almost cussed him out.

“You’re talking about their death like you’re giving a report on damaged cargo! Can you at least try to act respectful when talking about them?”

“I’m giving a casualty report.”

“They were people, Henry!”

“They remain people. Death doesn’t change that.” Henry answered. Somehow that made Hans feel worse about it.

Hans moved forward, getting close to Henry and the commander. More people were starting to watch him.

“Do you ever stop treating everything like a calculation?” Hans asked through gritted teeth.

A faint crease appeared between Henry’s eyebrows.

“Everything is a calculation.”

Hans threw his hands up in the air exclaiming, “There it is, don’t you see it?” Several officers found something else in the room to focus on as the atmosphere became awkward.

“When you warned me about the corridor, I switched the route in order to save more lives. That was a calculation.”

“That’s not the same.”

“It is.”

“No it isn’t.”

For the first time, a flash of irritation appeared across Henry’s face, but Hans was able to catch it before it was gone. Good.

Neither of them backed down and it was clear they wouldn’t be able to convince each other.

“Psyker, perhaps you should leave discussions to the officers.” The commander started. “We thank you for your divination today, but that doesn’t mean you can speak in such a manner in my briefing room, especially not to an Ultramarine. Return to your ward.”

Hans was mad enough to spit in the commander’s face. When he left the room, his anger followed him back to his quarters.

Day Forty-Five: Unbroken Vow

The armory of the Unbroken Vow was quieter than usual. Servitors moved between maintenance stations, carrying power tools and damaged equipment.

Hans had spotted Henry’s training knife earlier when he went to the training cage to get a break from other people. The cage was always devoid of people after a hard mission, it was Hans’ favorite place to go.

He must have left it behind before being sent to execute the evacuation. Normally, Hans would hand it to a serf and call it a day, but he wanted an excuse to find Henry himself.

So here he was in the armory, hoping to spot Henry before he returned to his cell on the other side of the giant vessel.

He wasn’t sure why he was seeking him out specifically. Maybe because he was still feeling bothered by their argument. Henry’s certainty bothered him even more. But Hans also wanted to apologize for challenging Henry in front of the ship’s command. He didn’t know why the commander hadn’t stopped him earlier. After all, a diviner had no reason to speak during reports unless addressed.

Hans rounded a maintenance rack and stopped. Henry was standing by his power armor, talking to one of the servitors. Hans had expected him to be clad in armor or missing a few pieces, but it had all been removed.

The impression Hans had had of Henry for over a month had been ceramite armor and careful control, but he never looked more human than he did now. Without the armor, the illusion became harder to maintain.

Henry was covered in scars, especially around his arms and shoulders. Some looked decades old. The knowledge that Henry had battle wounds older than Hans and his father sent a shiver down his spine.

Others looked more recent, along with a slew of colorful bruises on one side of his chest. Even without the armor, Henry still felt impossibly large, like a bioengineered freak. There was medical gauze wrapped over his shoulder. Whatever the wound was, it must have been severe enough that it didn’t clot immediately.

There were surgical scars too, evidence of injuries so severe that even an Astartes body needed intervention. Metal sockets stuck out of his skin, plugs for his power armor to connect to his body. Examining him like this, Hans could only imagine the violence and horrors Henry had to face with his expected control and discipline. Looking at some of those vicious scars, Hans felt a new wave of respect for Henry. If he was being honest, he would be a little jaded, too.

Henry looked up, his face carrying the exhaustion of someone who has been fighting for a long time.

“Hans,” he greeted him, fixing his face to be neutral once more. Something about that sent a jab of hurt through Hans. He had thought Henry would allow himself to be more vulnerable by now. “Sorry, I had a moment of tiredness, but it’ll pass. You get used to this as an Astartes; our bodies and minds are engineered for this.”

Hans didn’t realize he’d been caught staring. He looked away and licked his lips before shuffling up to Henry and holding out his knife.

“Here, you left it in the training cage. I just wanted to give it back to you before going back to my quarters.”

Henry looked at the knife but made no move to accept it. He was surely still mad about what happened in the briefing room. Hans began to apologize, but Henry beat him to the punch.

“I’m sorry about earlier. For upsetting you. If I’m being honest, I still don’t understand what you were angry about, but I’ll try to do it better next time.” Henry told him, his expression sincere.

Hans chewed on his bottom lip as he avoided Henry’s gaze. The average space marine would never interact with the likes of him, let alone try to fix something that he didn’t quite grasp. Hans had been irate in the briefing room and he still felt the dull burn of anger, but it was more mixed with dismay now.

After having a chance to think, Hans had realized that Henry was only speaking how he was taught to do so. Decades of mental conditioning and training drilled the left-right limits of his role into his brain, so how could Hans ever expect him to think anything different.

As he stood in front of Henry, Hans only felt worse about how he acted.

“Um, I’m really sorry too, Henry. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you, I think the stress of the mission and psychic pressure just got to me. But what I did still wasn't right. I shouldn’t have called you out and questioned you in front of your peers. Can you forgive me?” He asked, holding the knife out once more.

This time, Henry accepted it. So he was at least a little affected by their argument. Hans couldn’t help the but feel a guilty sense of happiness that he mattered enough for Henry to get bothered by his words. Either that or Henry had felt embarrassed in front of everyone.

Hans, you’ve really outdone yourself.

“Of course, Hans. There is nothing to forgive. Thank you for bringing my knife back.” Henry took back his knife and placed it down besides him.

The silence that follow afterward was strangely awkward.

Hans found himself looking at the shoulder dressing again. And also at the bruising. The scars, too.

For the first time since Hans had met him, he had come face to face with proof of Henry’s mortality. Even a super-human weapon like Henry could fizzle out and die.

Henry followed his gaze, watching his expression closely.

“You’re staring again.”

Hans blushed and looked away. So he had been caught staring the first time, but surely Henry couldn’t blame him. After all this Henry looked so much different from the one he was used to.

“I noticed.” Hans mumbled in reply, still eyeing Henry over. Wasn’t it perfectly reasonable that Hans would be worried about the state of his close companion-literally Henry’s words, not his-after a tough battle?

The corner of Henry’s mouth lifted slightly.

Hans blinked. That might have been amusement. Might.

The thought that he could make Henry drop his emotional shield for even just a second almost made him puff his chest out like a proud rooster. Hans bet that Henry didn’t even talk about his past with his closest brothers. Probably boring stuff like strategy, war, history, and that awfully boring codex of his.

His eyes drifted back to the injuries on Henry’s body.

“I just...” He hesitated. “Wanted to check that you weren’t badly hurt. I know fighting a bunch of small Tyranids is just any other normal solar day for you, but I couldn’t help but be worried you were going to get gravely injured.”

The admission honestly felt embarrassing. Henry studied him for a few moments with a thoughtful look on his face before nodding.

“I am hurt.” He admitted, causing Hans to wince. “But I am healing.” There was no reassurance or dramatics when Henry spoke, only the truth. And strangely, that was enough for Hans. Of course he could worry, but Henry was always honest if there was something wrong.

Before Hans could help himself, he reached out and touched a particularly brutal scar on Henry’s, feeling the damaged tissue under his fingers as they traced along the shape. Henry’s life must be so hard. Hans couldn't begin to imagine the pain and loss he had faced.

For the first time Hans wondered whether Henry's detachment came from not caring about loss, or from carrying too much of it.

Hans looked up and saw Henry gazing at him with an odd expression on his face. He then remembered that he was feeling Henry up and pulled his hand away swiftly.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” Hans apologized swiftly, bringing his hand to his chest. Henry’s warmth still lingered on it, Hans wished he could preserve that feeling a little longer.

Henry remained quiet before saying in an almost wistful voice, “Your hand was so warm.”

That hadn’t quite been the reaction Hans was expecting.

“Pardon?”

Henry motioned to himself. “The only time someone touches me under my armor is when I’m being mended in the medical center or a field hospital. And their hands are cold. At least, they don’t feel like yours.”

Hans needed to get out of there. If he stayed any longer, he might beg Henry to let him touch his body again. Not in a weird way, he just wanted to feel the proof that Henry was still human again, engineered or not.

Day sixty-seven: Galgos

Hans walked at the front of the patrol behind Henry and his sergeant, keeping his head on a swivel. Ever they landed on Galgos with the mission to investigate the cause behind missing refinery workers and restore fuel controls for the evacuation vessels, Hans had been on edge.

It was a no-brainer that something was off about the refinery tunnels they were investigating, but Hans couldn’t help but feel like he was in danger.

Not the patrol, him.

It started when he had a vision of the back of his own head and heard a scream that sounded like his a few minutes later. Hans’ stomach felt like it was hanging in his feet. He had had many visions, flashes of scenes or emotions, or even smells that warned him of various dangers, but Hans had never seen any divinations that involved him.

The more he tried to figure it out, the worse his head ached. The staticky feeling of the Shadow was still plaguing his mind.

“What’s wrong, Psyker? You look ill.” The Ultramarine sergeant by Henry asked, moving his hand to his weapon. Hans hoped it was in a ‘preparing for danger’ sort of way and not a ‘getting ready to kill Hans on suspicion of possession’ way.

Hans shook his head and looked down at the floor. “I don’t know. Something bad is going on. There’s danger, but it feels like it’s directed towards me and not everyone else.”

Henry and the sergeant exchanged glances before looking back at Hans. At any other time, Hans would have found it fascinating how the Ultramarines could practically have a silent conversation between themselves just by looking at each other for a split second.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” The sergeant asked Henry, who nodded in turn.

Henry looked back down at Hans. “I know it will be painful, but can you try to find more about this danger?”

Hans took a deep breath and braced himself for the oncoming jabs in his mind as he focused on his divination again. Pain swept through his body like flesh being stripped from bones and the sound of cartilage being crunched rang in his ears. But something stood out among that: hunger. A hunger so strong that his teeth ached and his legs shook.

Hans shifted back to Henry and the sergeant and said in a shaking voice. “There’s something here. It wants me.”

As Hans tried to identify the creature, Henry and his sergeant leaned in close to each other.

“Psychophage.” The sergeant murmured. Henry nodded swiftly in agreement.

He raised his hand and brought the patrol to a halt before giving the command for them to change their formation. As Hans came back to the present scene, he realized Henry had changed the formation so he was tucked away in the middle. Not only that, but Henry’s sergeant led from the front now with Henry staying at the back.

They were changing the way they moved just to keep Hans safe. He couldn’t help but feel grateful that they’d do that for him, even if it was advantageous to keep a diviner alive.

Much to Hans’ surprise, nothing else happened. They managed to locate the refinery workers who were hiding from Tyranids that had long since gone and with their help, the fuel controls were back to normal.

It seemed Henry’s formation change might have done the trick. The psychophage hadn’t left, per se, but Hans could tell he wasn’t in immediate danger anymore.

But there were other problems. Hans had overextended his powers to the point that his hands shook with every step he took and whenever he looked at faces or colors, they seemed to swirl and dance. His head throbbed badly enough that he had the palms of his hands digging into his eyes at regular intervals.

Even though he knew that he was safe, he couldn’t shake off the feeling of dread no matter how hard he tried to relax. He knew it was the effects of the Shadow. He’s spent many nights after hard missions shaking in his bed from a panic that didn’t seem to be his. But even with that knowledge, he couldn’t stop himself from constantly looking behind him and flinching every time someone moved behind him.

Henry watched over Hans on the way back rather than getting together to discuss the upcoming report with his sergeant as usual. That was the thing about Henry. he didn’t show his emotions on his face or in his words, but he showed it through actions. Henry had seen Hans in this panicky state before especially after missions. Each time, Henry stayed with him until the moment passed. That was who Henry was.

Day sixty-seven: The Unbroken Vow

Hans woke up with one of the worst migraines he’s had in years. Straining himself today during the mission had caused significant issues under the Shadow’s effects. Hans had been correct in his visions, however. Henry's sergant found psychophage tracks frighteningly close to where the patrol passed through.

His psychic senses felt wrong. That panic was back again but worse than before. Hans had hoped it would go away with sleep, but it seemed to have doubled. Hans groaned and blinked his eyes open before slamming them shut again.

The room felt too small, like it was closing in on him. This had happened to Hans before, he knew it was just the Shadow. He felt embarrassed for acting like this again.

“It’ll pass. I’ll be fine.” He gasped. Hans hadn’t realized until now that he was gasping for air, sucking it in like a hungry man. The panic and dread were weighing down on him, pushing in the space behind his eyes hard enough to make him cry out.

He tried praying to the Emperor, but he had felt disconnected from him every since the Shadow sat over them, at least in the spiritual sense. Alas, that didn’t work either.

Nothing was working.

His thoughts were getting louder.

The Warp is getting louder.

No. That's impossible.

Unless I'm losing control.

If I'm losing control...

The panic began feeding more into the migraine. No matter what Hans tried, he couldn’t think clearly.

“Henry.” Hans whispered before he could help himself. He practically screamed the second time, causing a stir in the Psykana Ward’s hallways.

The fact that he was crying for Henry should have embarrassed him, but he couldn’t help that he was the first person he thought of.

A few agonizing minutes later, Henry opened the door. He entered the room and closed it behind him after telling the guards to stay outside unless he called for them. Psykers weren’t allowed to have door locks, so privacy was rare to have.

Hans cracked open an eye to peer at him. Even now Henry looked composed as usual as he knelt down by the bed and started assessing Hans.

He moved Hans’ hair out of his face carefully. “Look at me.” He says calmly.

Hans barely could.

“State your name.”

“...Hans.”

“Louder.”

“Hans.”

Henry gave an approving hum and reaches over to Hans’ desk. Hans instinctively opened his mouth for Henry to pour the medication in. Henry had never fed Hans’ his medication before like this, Hans just trusted Henry to take care of him.

“State your full designation.”

Hans manages it.

“What vessel are you aboard?”

“...The Unbroken Vow.”

Henry nodded. “Good.”

“And what date is it?”

Hans had to think about that. It was good, thinking helped interrupt the panic.

Henry continued on.

“What do you hear?”

Hans stopped and listened.

“Someone is walking by. And there are two guards outside of my quarters.” He swallowed hard. “The engines are quieter on this side of the ship, but I can still hear them.”

“Tell me what you are touching.”

“My blanket.” Hans hadn’t realized his hands were gripping the frame of his bed so hard that his knuckles turned white. He loosened his hold and forced his body to relax. He realized it was possible to do so now, he just couldn’t force himself out of his rigid state earlier when it was just him.

Henry stood up but Hans reached out and grasped his hand before he could stop himself.

“Please,” he begged, “stay here for a bit. You can even sit on my bed, I don’t care.”

Hans expected hesitation, but Henry sat down on his bed without a word. The bed creaked loudly under their combined weight, but Hans didn’t give it any mind.

The medication was starting to kick in and crushing pain in his head was subsiding. He would be okay. He was already feeling way better with Henry here.

Hans was still holding Henry’s hand. He hoped that Henry wouldn’t hold it against him for grabbing it. But now that he held it, he didn’t think he’d be willing to let it go, even if Henry shook him around like a rag.

All Henry did was pull Hans’ blanket over him.

“Rest.” he told him. “The medication works better when you are sleeping.”

Hans nodded and closed his eyes. What he missed was Henry watching him with the shadow of a relieved smile on his face.

Day sixty-eight: The Unbroken Vow

When Hans woke up the next day, there was no sign that Henry was ever there. Looking around, Hans felt a pang of sadness. He hadn’t expected Henry to be there when he woke up, but it was still disappointing to wake up alone after going to sleep with company.

Hans found Henry later that day in the Officer’s Archive. He thanked his escorts and stepped inside.

Henry looked up as Hans approached him. Was it Hans’ imagination, or did Henry actually look a little glad to see him?

“Hans, how are you?” Henry asked, giving him a once over.

Hans didn’t answer his question. “Why did you come?”

Henry looked confused. “You called for me.”

“I know.” Hans responded. He looked down at the floor and planned out his next words. “I thought maybe you came because you were assigned to me.”

Henry didn’t answer immediately.

Hans tried to fill the silence. “Or maybe you thought I could become a danger.”

Henry still didn’t speak. Hans was starting to lose his nerve.

“I was worried about you.” That’s it. Henry returned back to the report he was writing. Hans saw that as his cue to leave, but he got the sudden urge to be selfish.

“Can...” he hesitated. “Can I hold your hand again? It helped me calm down last night. I’m not feeling very good. I think it would make me feel better.”

In reality, Hans felt fine, as fine as a psyker could with the Shadow eating slowly at the fringes of his mind. Henry knew that, too, but after a moment, he laid his hand out on the table, palm up.

Hans practically slid into the chair across from Henry, grasping his hand and holding it close. Henry’s hand dwarfed his, but it kept him warm. It made Hans feel more alive than he ever had.

Not in the mood to read, Hans leaned his cheek on his other hand and watched Henry.

Henry looked up at him and smiled faintly before going back to his report with one hand.

Day Eighty-One: Galgos

Hans was less than pleased that they were back on Galgos again. The memory of the psychophage incident was still fresh on his mind, but he didn’t sense it this time. That was a relief.

At least something good came from that day. Hans found more excuses to hang around Henry any time he could. He thought Henry would have gotten annoyed with him fast, but Henry had only sent him away once or twice when he was really busy. Henry had even sought out Hans himself a couple times for non-duty related reasons.

The more they spent time together, the more Henry shared about himself and loosened up. When they were around others, Henry was factual and kept himself in check, but when they were on their own, Henry opened up his expression and allowed himself to be comfortable with Hans.

When Henry had come to see him in the middle of the night with the reason of wanting to see him, Hans almost had to peel his jaw off the ground. He couldn’t deny it anymore, he was painfully fond of Henry.

Hans jostled slightly as Henry bumped lightly into him-a deliberate move. It was almost as if Henry could tell when Hans was thinking about him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe.” Henry told him quietly, just shy of being heard by the others behind him. Henry had only allowed Hans to leave the center of the formation after he had assured Henry that he didn’t feel any danger.

They were on a rescue mission approaching a refinery in one of Galgos’ many industrial furnace districts. There were trapped refinery workers in there that they were sent to rescue. The Unbroken Vow didn’t have enough fuel to leave the Vesper System and the only ones who could restore a damaged fuel-transfer system that had been wrecked by a carnifex were said workers.

While it was obvious knowledge that the workers were being trapped by a horde of Tyranids, Hans was still trying to figure out what they were.

The Ultramarines and guardsmen were setting up outside the refinery to bring the fight out to where it wouldn’t affect the workers. They couldn’t kill one of their few sources of leaving the system.

The Tyranids, however, did not charge at them like usual with their bloodthirsty screams. They were moving towards them slowly with deadly intent. It almost felt like they were stalking them. A crowd of termagants and hormagaunts didn’t act so coordinated by themselves.

“There are Tyranid warriors somewhere.” The Ultramarine sergeant stated. Everyone else seemed to pick up on it simultaneously.

Hans reached out in his mind and saw large claws, many of them.

“There’s a lot of warriors, they’re staying out of sight. Maybe they’re trying to distract us with the smaller Tyranids and attack from the back.” Hans reported to Henry. Hans wasn’t one to try giving battle predictions out, but he felt like it wouldn’t hurt to share his suspicion.

To his surprise, Henry nodded in agreement. “They are waiting for the right moment to show themselves. Wherever they come from, we’ll be ready.”

The horde was almost there. Henry directed everyone to enter the refinery.

“Why are we going inside a place where they can trap us?” Hans asked.

“We need to free the workers as soon as possible.” Henry responded as the formation moved together as one. “There is a good chance more can be coming now that this group has spotted us. The sooner we get the workers, the sooner was can leave. The Unbroken Vow is not great enough to rid us of the Shadow on our own. Once we get out of it, we can call for reinforcements.”

Hans supposed that made sense. He didn’t have much time to think anything else before the first wave of Tyranids rushed at the entrance to the refinery. Hans knew he would be useless in the fight, so he grabbed his staff and ran to offer assistance to the guardsmen trying to free the trapped workers. Hans wasn’t sure what happened, but it looked like their own doors had lost power and could not let them out.

Gunfire, shrieks, and collapsing metal filled the air as the two forces made contact. Hans forced himself to focus away from the sound of carnage.

“We will have to blow up the door. By the Emperor, this could bring the building down! But it’s the only option we have with what little time we’re afforded.” A guardsman captain began briefing his men. Thankfully they had brought the supplies to pull that off.

“Get back, Psyker. We can’t have you getting injured.” How touching. It did nothing to him the way Henry saying would make his heart do acrobatics.

Hans moved back and let the guardsmen set up the explosives. He turned around and searched for Henry in the fray. He spotted him killing a row of termagants before a warrior jumped and landed on top of him, knocking the giant Astartes over.

“Henry!” Hans screamed, but it was lost in the roar of the conflict. Before he could figure out what to do, if there was even anything he could do, a violent explosion rang out behind him, knocking Hans violently off his feet.

Hans had been so worried about Henry that he completely tuned out the operations to get the doors blown off their hinges. Had he been paying attention, he would have heard the captain telling him to duck behind cover.

As Hans hit the ground, he saw collapsing walls and ceiling in his mind. If only it had come a little sooner. It was too late now. Hans could only watch in a daze as the walls closest to the destroyed doors began to shudder and collapse, sending up a cloud of dust and debris into the air.

Strangely, the sound of battle became quieter, until Hans realized his ears were ringing. Hans rubbed at them desperately before searching for Henry with his divination.

Nothing came up.

Hans could see that the Tyranids had lost a majority of their army that were waiting outside for a chance to attack in the falling of the walls. At least there was a win for them.

Hans stood up shakily and ran towards where he had last seen Henry. If Henry hadn’t moved from his spot, then he would have been right in the path of the falling wall.

Hans searched around and found dead soldiers and civilians. Tyranid bodies are littering the floor badly enough that he was constantly dodging them. There were pieces of broken Ultramarine-blue ceramite.

But none of them were Henry. After a few minutes, his hearing began to recover slightly. Enough for him to hear the sound of metal shifting and the refinery groaning.

Hans found Henry pinned on his back underneath a metal support beam. The Ultramarine was missing the entire shoulder plate and his armor looked crushed in many areas under the weight of the beam. Henry was trying, unsuccessfully, to free himself.

Henry spotted Hans and stopped moving momentarily, letting out a long, wheezing breath.

“I had begun to think,” he coughed, “that you had gotten lost.”

Hans just stared at him.

Henry studied his expression for a moment. “That was an attempt at humor. If this is usually the reaction I get, I don’t think I’ll be trying it again.” He bemoaned with a grunt.

Hans ran over to Henry and dropped to his knees. His hands shook as he tried to move smaller pieces of debris away from the larger beam, but they weren’t shaking from psychic fatigue this time.

"You idiot." Hans spat.

Henry raises an eyebrow.

"You enormous, impossible idiot."

Hans's voice broke and he stopped to look down at Henry.

"I thought you were dead." The words left him before he can stop them and he hated how they sound. Hans wiped angrily at his eyes.

“I tried to find you, but the Shadow wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t see anything...” he swallowed. “By the Emperor, Henry, I was so afraid that...” The sentence wouldn’t finish itself, leaving Hans to bite his lip to stifle his tears. Tears of relief and overflowing emotions. Henry was alive, that was all that mattered.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Then Henry reached up with his armored hand and cradled Hans’ face. Even though the power glove on Henry’s hand was cold and dirty, it was the best feeling in the world to Hans.

“I’m here.” Henry comforted him.

“I couldn’t find you.”

“I know.”

Henry sighed and rubbed his thumb over Hans’ cheek. The tenderness of the moment almost made him cry harder. He shut his eyes to try and stop himself from looking anymore like a baby.

“I believed...” Hans opened his eyes again as Henry started speaking. Henry seemed to be picking his words with unusual care. “I believed there was a significant possibility I wouldn’t see you again.”

“I guess you could say I was scared.” Henry finished. He looked a little embarrassed to admit that fear was something he could feel, but it meant everything to Hans.

Henry cared about him just the same way he cared about Henry.

Something in Hans finally gave way.

Before he had any time to realize what he was doing, he leaned down and kissed Henry. He could taste the blood of a now healed busted lip, but he didn’t care.

The kiss only lasted a moment, just enough for Hans to regain his bearings and pull his head away.

“I'm so sorry!” He blurted. “I don't know what came over me!”

Henry hadn't moved the entire time. He just looked at Hans with a surprised expression.

Hans waited for Henry to react. To curse him, question his motives, or tell him he understood their relationship wrong.

Slowly, Henry’s hand came up and rested against Hans’ chin.

“That seemed to make you feel better.” Henry said, his tongue darting over his lips. “If you did it again, I would not object.”

Hans almost asked if Henry was being affected by demonic possession, but he wasted no time in leaning back down and kissing Henry again.

This time, Henry responded-slow and unsure. But it was enough for Hans.

It was enough for him to admit to himself that this wasn’t about duty anymore.

Day eighty-eight: After Vesper

Hans stood outside the Officer’s Archive, chewing on his lip again. He had been doing that a lot lately ever since they returned from Galgos a week ago.

He still remembered the panic he felt as he had to wait by Henry while he was pinned, hoping the next beings to find him were soldiers and not Tyranids. Thankfully they were Henry’s brothers, enough of them that they could lift the beam off of him.

Their future seemed uncertain. The Unbroken Vow carried survivors toward the end of the Vesper System, but Vesper was clearly wounded, and the Tyranid splinter may not have been fully destroyed. But even so, Hans could feel the Shadow's effect fading. They were almost out.

In the week after Galgos, Henry and Hans did not avoid each other completely, but they became a little more careful around each other.

Henry still trained Hans daily in the training cage and they often met in the officer's archive to play Regicide together. Henry still asked for Hans’ permission to touch him when his migraines left him unsteady. Hans wished he did it without asking. Hans started sitting with Henry in the archive while he read his codex without bothering to invent an excuse. Henry knew why he was coming to him, anyways.

Since that day, neither of them mentioned the kiss, and it was frustrating Hans more and more each day. Hans didn’t want to ask in case he made Henry uncomfortable, but Henry surely knew that Hans wanted to do it.

Maybe Henry regretted it now or was just waiting for Hans to say something first. Maybe he regarded it as a heat of the moment decision and dismissed it. That was what Hans was here to find out.

Hans quietly opened the door and peeked inside. It was late in the evening so the archive was empty save for a large figure reading diligently through that stupid codex.

Since no one else was there, Hans wandered up to Henry. It might have been a figment of his imagination, but Henry seemed more than happy to put down the codex and be with him.

“Regicide?” Henry asked as Hans pulled at a chair. Hans nodded and started setting up his pieces. Maybe Henry would let him win again today. They’d gotten used to playing in silence. In fact, they had become a lot more muted when spending time together ever since Galgos. It was obvious they were both dodging the necessary discussion.

They played several turns before Hans set down the pieces in his hand and looked at Henry. Henry had mostly healed from his wounds between the fight and being crushed. There were a few new scars, a hard-to-notice white line coming out of the top of his upper lip.

Hans couldn’t stop remembering how Henry’s lips felt whenever he looked at it.

“Henry?” Hans called, waiting for Henry to meet his gaze. Once he did, Hans took a deep breath and continued. “Are you going to pretend that what we did in the refinery never happened?”

Henry answered without thinking. “No.”

Hans left out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. “Have you been thinking about it?”

Henry put down his pieces and searched Hans’ face with his eyes. “Every day.” He responded.

Okay, so far so good. Hans steeled himself up to ask the next question.

“And do you...” he paused, “regret what we did? What I did?”

Henry stayed silent for a moment. For Hans it felt like decades.

“I do not.”

Hans gripped the fabric of his pants in his fists, clenching till it twisted.

“That’s good, I was starting to think you would ask for someone else to be my handler.” He joked, but it came out strained.

Henry’s eyebrows furrowed, but he remained silent. He knew that Hans had more to say.

“Saying you don’t regret it isn’t the same as wanting it to happen again.” Hans added.

He could almost see a lightbulb go off in Henry’s brain. For a super human with a machine-like mind, he seemed to slow himself down deliberately when it came to social interactions with Hans.

“I understand what you mean. What happened in the refinery, I didn’t want to presume. You were frightened and exhausted.” Hans opened his mouth to argue but Henry held up a hand for him to wait. “I’m not saying you did it just for that reason. But I didn’t want you to feel obligated if this was just something that resulted from a high rush of emotions.”

That was the stupidest thing Hans had ever heard. Although he knew he was just as bad for not trying to clarify sooner. He was just scared. Scared that he had ruined what they had and would lose him.

“I’m not asking you about it because I feel obligated to.” Hans grumbled. He searched for the next words before continuing nervously. “I know our situation is weird. You’re a giant compared to me, I mean, we'll never see eye to eye in multiple ways, and there’s no guarantee we’ll be able to stick together for a long time. But I’ve never been more certain about how I felt back then. How I feel now.”

Henry smiled. “Do you want to kiss again?” He asked plainly.

Hans nodded eagerly and stumbled up, almost knocking the chair over. Henry moved to stand up as well, but Hans came around and lifted his hand up to press against his lower chest.

“Please sit, you’d have to bend in half otherwise.” Hans laughed, guiding him back into the sitting position. Henry let out an abrupt laugh, much to Hans’ surprise and delight.

“This is true.”

Hans pushed his way between Henry’s legs and rested his hands to the side of his face. With Henry being seated, Hans was slightly taller than him. As he looked down at Henry, he felt his stomach flutter. He was excited, but also nervous.

What if he turned out to be a bad kisser? After all, he hadn’t so much as built a meaningful connection with anyone ever since he was ripped away from his home. Was this really what Henry wanted?

Sensing Hans’s nerves, Henry reached up and held onto the back of his neck, guiding him down until their lips met. Hans almost sank into him.

This kiss was different from the first. It was unhurried and more intimate. Hans pressed himself against Henry and shivered as one of Henry’s hands moved to rest on his waist. Hans’ mouth moved eagerly and Henry stayed steady, but it was the most amazing thing to Hans.

A deployment order blasting out through the vessel’s speakers caused Hans to jump back. Well, he tried to, Henry’s hand on his waist kept him in place. Henry was still focused on his lips. Hans couldn’t help himself, leaning down for a shorter and gentler kiss.

As much as he didn’t want this moment to end, they had to go to the briefing room, and quickly.

“We should go, did you hear everything the intercom said?” Hans asked, taking a moment to collect himself.

“Of course.” Henry snorted. “I might not have been looking, but I hear everything whether I want to or not.”

Henry stood up and put the codex away. He thought for a moment before looking down at Hans.

“We should continue this carefully. I don’t think my brothers would see the value in this. And I know it would cause problems for you as well.”

Hans had to agree with him. His Psykana overseer would never tolerate such a relationship, as harmless as it felt to him. “But careful doesn’t mean you go quiet on me any time something important goes on. And you can still guide me around when I’m feeling unwell, it won’t be seen as weird since I’m a psyker and the Shadow is still here”

“Right.” Henry responded with a nod.

Hans reached for Henry’s arm as they left the archive. This time, he didn’t need any help with walking. Henry let him hold on anyway.