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@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
GUYS I CANNOT BREATHE IM AT POIROT CAFE RN AND WITNESSING YAOI IRL
Comments 15 | Likes 98 | Retweets 32
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
Before y'all start yelling at me I'm literally just here to work on my thesis because the vibes are great & Amuro-san is really helpful when I'm stuck in a rut (not to mention great eye candy)
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
I walk in, order my usual and as Amuro-san is serving me the door opens and I kid you not his head swivels mid-sentence to stare and guess who it is??
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
The KUDOU BOYTOY. and he's SMIRKING. And I turn to look at Amuro-san and he is SCOWLING. I did not know it was possible for his face to turn into that! Low-key he has a dark side bc even I got a bit unsettled.
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
Guess who wasn't unsettled at all? KUDOUBOYTOY. He's all smiles and is like "aren't you going to take my order, Amuro-kun? 💅"
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
At this point I'm ready to make my exit BC bad vibes all round but then Amuro is like "don't think what happened last night changes anything" and he's so aggressive about it too. And I'm SAT. I want to know MORE
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
Btw he was still at my table while he's saying this. Bro why do you want me to know about your one night stand??? Which brings us to now.
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
"If not for what Kudo-San said, I would rip that ridiculous turtle neck off and expose your neck to the world" IN FRONT OF MY SALAD???? BRO IM NOT THAT FAR AWAY FROM YOU WHO SAYS THAT IN PUBLIC
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
Ok now he's talking about how much he hates left handed people (??)
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
going by the pointed look he just gave him + the way Mr Boytoy just picked up his coffee cup with his left hand I'm sensing this is flirting
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
Godddd lowkey love that the only thing stopping him from ravishing his grad student is Kudo's orders like bro I wish I was in their harem so I could take orders like that
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
Yukiko-sama I would be so obedient if you would take me
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
Wow now they're talking about someone named Sukochi (?) Amuro-kun is saying nothing will ever be forgiven about Sukochi and Boytoy has this placid smile and is like "idk who you are talking about"
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
Yipes Ive been spotted (Amuro-san I've been here the whole time) and Amuro-san chased me out by pointedly asking if I wanted to order anything else HE IS SO SCARY IN THIS MODE WTF
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
Anyway sorry to the fangirls but apparently the hot waiter from poirot is in a toxic situationship with the kudou boytoy
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
Mind you, I have seen Amuro loitering around the kudo residence a lot lately too and he always looked so stalkerish. Turns out he was stalking pink haired grad student
@ryokousiichan | Ryoko
Goodbye my dreams of beautiful grad student Subaru-kun 😔 I knew you were too good to be true
@onozukario | Lovely Planet Onozuka
Sister you went from despairing that he's part of the kudo harem to despairing that he's gay?? He was never yours wtf
@ryokousiichan | Ryoko
Stfu rio you don't know the pain of a yumejoshi who has to become a fujoshi
@onozukario | Lovely Planet Onozuka
These are all real people??? Not an anime character??? I don't get u
@seventeentanks | Sev
What are they putting in the water at Beika I want toxic Yaoi IRL at my local cafes too
Comments 29 | Likes 120 | Retweets 57
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
What's stopping you from moving to Beika?
@seventeentanks | Sev
Sorry the murder rate scares me off
@onozukario | Lovely Planet Onozuka
Hey if it makes you feel any better your murder is almost guaranteed to be solved. The solve rate is incredible compared to any other prefecture in the world
@seventeentanks | Sev
See, I can't tell if you're joking about my murder there. Beika people are like gothamites irl. Scary AF
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
Sooo. Did anyone notice my liveblog that will not be specifically mentioned was deleted by twitter. this hellsite will allow anything but draws the line at liveblogging everyday interactions lmao #beikalife
Comments 7 | Likes 22 | Retweets 5
@seventeentanks | Sev
Why did you tag that with #beikalife
@pyonkiyuuko | step on me yukiko
Kind of an inside joke that a lot of random pics and posts from Beika get taken down and when you trace it it goes back to like the Japanese Government. And it's rly weird because it doesn't happen nearly as often for people who live outside Beika
@onozukario | Lovely Planet Onozuka
Don't forget the stuff that can't be traced back to anything that no one talks about XD. There's a whole conspiracy that there's a shadowy secret org based in Beika and the gov has a vigilant eye on everyone here. Probably partly xenophobia tbh bc we do have a strange number of Americans staying here long term for no reason.
@seventeentanks | Sev
That's horrifying to know, thanks.
@onozukario | Lovely Planet Onozuka
Honestly the key to living a happy life in Beika is to Not Think About It
