Chapter Text
Judelow was someone who trusted little, the walls he had built up were extremely thick, probably thicker than Sharpness’ skull. He was well aware that most if not all team ups on the Strength SMP were bound to lead to betrayal.
He'd gone through many teams and it all seemed to go the same. So when he had betrayed him, he wasn't surprised at all, he expected it, predicted it even. What he hadn't expected was just how much the betrayal would've hurt. He hadn't noticed just how much he had wriggled his way through the small cracks in his walls and broke them down little by little. He had somehow wormed his way into Judelow's life without him noticing. Oh, how he wished he could've gone back in time and slapped some sense into himself. He knew it would've ended this way and he decided to team with him anyway.
—
It's been 5 days since it happened. As much as Judelow would like to say it hadn't affected him, it clearly had. More than he'd ever want to admit. Parker had noticed. Hell, even Tai had, and he's pretty close in line to the biggest brick on the server. He knew Parker noticed a while ago, the enderman seemed to stick by him a little closer than he would've previously. The two talked a lot, yes, but Parker had been making conversation with him a bit more often than he usually would. Considering how he usually went off to do his own thing, at least that's what he was doing when he was still around.
God, he kept thinking about him. It was annoying how much he thought about him, it just made everything worse.
Judelow shook his head, gripping his pencil as he sat at his desk. It was another late night, nothing unusual for the rabbit hybrid. He was trying to redesign his prosthetic arm again. It was getting rusty and harder to use as the years went by, which was more inconvenient than he would've anticipated in the first place. After the betrayal happened, the arm was almost fully dysfunctional. It had gotten almost fully crushed when he fell into the trap. The trap he willingly stepped over. The trap that he trusted him to not activate. The trap that he used as a test. The trap that he pulled. The trap that ruined everything.
He clenched his hand down onto his pencil, jumping slightly as he heard the pencil snap in his grip. He groans, running his hand through his hair roughly. The metal joints caught on the strands and pulled some of them out, to which he frowned and plucked the purple strands out in annoyance. If the joints got clogged up that would be just another issue on top of the half fixed limb. He barely managed to get it fixed to this point after the incident. Judelow grumbled to himself as he rolled his sleeve up to pull off the prosthetic, it was growing to become uncomfortable to wear for long periods of time.
He slipped the metal off of his shoulder and onto the table. It clinked loudly as he set it on top of his stacks of many blueprints, some of which he'd thrown off to the side into the large “scrapped projects” pile. Judelow stared at the hunk of metal and frowned deeply, one of his tall ears twitched a few times in thought. After a few long moments of just staring at the arm, he decided to tinker with it to get his mind off of the massive elephant in the room. Eventually the exhaustion got to him, and he ended up falling asleep at his desk, again. Much to Parker's dismay, who had been trying to convince him to sleep more instead of trying to stay up and avoid his deeply rooted problems.
Judelow woke up the next day with probably the worst back pain he had ever experienced in a while. He got up and stretched, running his fingers through his hair absent-mindedly. It became a habit a long while ago, he couldn't quite pin-point when it had started. He made his way out of his room, walking to the kitchen. His ears, which were previously drooped from sleep, stood up on end when he heard sounds from the kitchen. The only person that ever was in the kitchen at this time was…
“..Sharpness?” He slowly called out, turning the corner. Instead of green eyes meeting his, his eyes met deep purple ones that very quickly looked away once the two made eye-contact.
“Morning.” Parker said, his voice stiff.
“Fuck, sorry. I'm still half asleep.” Judelow stammered, the hair on the back of his neck stood up as he realized his mistake. He quickly covered up his reaction by grinning from ear to ear as he approached, changing the subject completely.
“I didn't know you could cook. You look like someone who can't.” He joked approaching him and peeking over from the side.
“Jude. You can talk to me about it, you do realize this right?” Parker started, Judelow's gaze hardened immediately and Parker dropped the topic as soon as he noticed. “I've always been able to cook, dumbass.” He snorts.
Judelow seems to relax right away. His ears, though they remained unright, went into a more relaxed state as the two chatted away idly.
—
It's been a week already and seeing him at spawn made him want to hurl. Not like there was much to vomit out anyway, since he hadn't been eating all that much anyway. He could survive off of one meal or less, probably. Parker would've said otherwise, but why would he listen to him anyway? Who was he to tell him what to and not do with his life. He could do whatever he wanted he was a grown ass man.
He and Parker were digging out a hole for a trap together, when he slipped up and dropped his shovel onto his foot, wincing as the pain wracked through his whole body.
“Jude? Dude, are you good? You keep spacing out.” Parker shook Judelow by his shoulders.
“Bro, I'm literally fine. You worry too much.” He snorted, but his voice trembled. That didn't sound convincing at all.
“You're trembling. Not to mention you dropped your shovel onto your foot like a complete dumbass...” Parker deadpans, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. The enderman's tail was twitching over and over in clear annoyance.
Judelow's ears lowered slightly. “I swear I'm–”
“Jude. Just talk to me. Watching you destroy yourself over some idiot is genuinely sad.” Parker sighs. “You know I'm right.”
“...It's not that simple.” Judelow groans. “It's just weird that he's gone now. It's literally his fault too, I just keep thinking about him..” He muttered, his head falling into his hands.
Parker sighs and wraps his arms around the other, the two stand like that for a bit before Judelow seems to finally get his shit together and goes back to joking around as the two go back to work. The trap was done within a few hours, the two went back to their base feeling exhausted.
They chatted for a bit before Judelow finally went back to his room. The silence rang in his ears, it was an unpleasant ringing. Usually by now, he would've barged into his room and told him to get his ass to bed. He tugged at his hair at the thought, he couldn't help but think about him, he clouded his mind. His mind was so full of him he could hardly even call it his own at this point. He rubbed at his eyes before he fell into his bed, his ears rang louder and his head throbbed as he slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.
He rose from his bed, it was still slightly dark out. Just a bit before sunrise, which wasn't a time he ever really woke at. He made his way to the kitchen and was met with a sight that made his breath stutter.
“Sharpness.” He slowly says, rubbing his eyes to make sure he wasn't seeing things.
“Jude.” Sharpness smiles at him, one of his fangs slightly stuck out onto his bottom lip, poking it.
“Why the fuck are you cooking? You're gonna burn my kitchen down.” Judelow snorts, approaching him. It felt so natural, way too natural. He was tense. His muscles taught, and ready to run at any moment.
“Why so tense, Jude?” The swordsman teases, leaning into his space like he always used to do.
He backed up a bit. “What are you yapping about?” He chuckles awkwardly.
“It's like you're ready to run, bunny.” He snorts, nudging him lightly as he leaned closer. The corners of his eyes crinkling a little.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Jude relaxes a little, leaning in as well. The two stare at each other and Sharpness’ eyes soften a bit. Jude glances away, his smile faltering.
“You're doing that weird thing with your eyes.” He chuckles breathily. They were much closer than before. He could feel Sharpness’ breathing mingle with his.
“Am I?” He teases lowly. To that Jude finally makes eye-contact with Sharpness.
Sharpness’ eyes stare directly into his. Something was off. His eyes were different. His eyes were different?
Judelow's ears swivel back and press against his skull as he backs up. “Sharp?”
He doesn't respond. He just stares, smiling. It doesn't reach his eyes though, as he turns toward him fully. Then he begins approaching him slowly.
Judelow backs up a step and Sharpness takes two steps toward him. It was a game of cat and mouse. Just as Judelow took a step back into the wall, Sharpness lunged at him, sword drawn—
Then, he wakes up.
Cold sweat covered his back as he panted, his long rabbit ears pressed back hard against his skull as he hugged himself with his arm. He could feel his heart beating hard against his ribcage. He took deep breaths trying to calm himself as he stood to get water from the kitchen. He walks toward the kitchen, and a shadow makes him flinch hard. He staggers back, realizing there was nothing there as he snaps the lights on quickly out of panic. He grabs a cup, nearly dropping it with his shaky hand as he fills it with water and chugs it down.
He splashed some cold water onto his face and ran some through his hair before he turned the lights off and silently went back to his bedroom. His heart was still pounding so hard he thought it might jump out of his chest, but he couldn't feel it as much. Nothing felt real, that dream felt too real. Was it real? It couldn't have been. Sharpness never attacked him when they were teamed. He's too loyal for that. Or was he? He betrayed him afterall. He was replaceable. Judelow was just a tool to him. He only wanted him for his traps, and Judelow only needed him for his fighting skills. Right? The rabbit hybrid sits down on his bed, he glances around, knowing he wouldn't get any sleep he gets up again and sits at his desk, beginning to rework his prosthetic again.
The arm was almost fully done by the time the sun was fully up. Parker came into his room and almost screamed in horror at his state. His eyebags were practically the size of a crater, his hair was a mess and he was paler than pale. Paler than Saparata even. The enderman had to drag him to his bed and even threatened to strap him down if he didn't rest.
Judelow refused to sleep. He was terrified of seeing him again. Seeing his face, feeling his warm embrace, and then waking up again. He couldn't do it. Especially not after that nightmare.
—
He didn't leave his room for a solid while, he was thankful Parker didn't bother him. He knew he was worried, but Judelow was glad he didn't put himself down to help him. It was for the better for the both of them. Though, a few people they knew had visited. Tai had came by the other day to try and ragebait him into coming out, Flowtives did the same. Both of them didn't do too well with that, though Saparata came down today to chat and updated him on what had been going on.
“Have you heard Sharp's been killing people on sight at spawn?” Saparata casually brings up, the topic was clearly thought through before he decided to speak on it.
Judelow tensed at the mention of the name. “Very in character for that psychopath. All he does is kill people for fun.” He snorts.
“Hm, yeah. He reminds me of someone I used know. A close friend, if you will.” The unicorn hybrid's eyes softened, his feathery lashes fluttered sadly.
“Huh.” Judelow raises a brow.
“He didn't kill for fun though, but you get the idea. Stubborn, impulsive, all that.” He waves his hand, swapping the subject.
“If you're this much of a mess, I think you should really open up about it. Maybe not to me or Parker, but maybe to yourself first?” Saparata suggests, slowly beginning to stand up, brushing off his long white coat.
“You said, used to know. Why is that?” Judelow asks as Saparata nears the door.
Saparata pauses, his tail slowly flicks against the floor. “I killed him.” He replies, his voice was bitter. Judelow couldn't see his face from where he was sitting, but he could only assume that it was a face of sorrow. Saparata then walked out, shutting the door behind himself.
Judelow stared at the closed door. Saparata killed his friend. Why? God he had so many questions for that guy. He rubbed his face quietly as he stood from his bed.
Saparata's friend… He said he wasn't all that different from Sharpness. There's no way they were that similar right? Sharpness was one of a kind. In his eyes at least.
His head throbbed at the thought and he sat back down on his bed. He felt sick to his stomach.
Judelow didn't think he'd get sick that easily, but maybe spending days inside and only working on projects doesn't exactly help cope with something like grief. Was it grief? Sharpness wasn't dead, really. Well, he was dead to him that's for sure.
Parker came into his room a little earlier to check in on him, and left medication on Judelow's makeshift nightstand. It was a crafting table that had a messy array of various tools he used to build a variety of traps around the server. The medications barely fit on the crafting table, they sat scarily close to the edge, on the verge of falling onto the ground.
Judelow sighed, finally sitting up for the first time in 3 days. His fever was high and he felt both hot and cold all at once. On top of that, he had a horrible headache that sent pain through his bones in waves. He ran his hand through his hair, sighing as he reached for the pills, swallowing them down with some water. The cool liquid felt like heaven blessing his sore throat, the sensation made him relax a bit as he leaned back against the wall behind him. He stared off at the far wall, his thoughts wandering a bit. Never a good sign due to the events that had occurred just around a week ago.
Sharpness came to mind first. His long blonde hair, his deep olive eyes, his feathery lashes, the way one of his fangs stuck out onto his lip when he smiled, the warmth of his hands–Jude stiffened, snapping out of it, shaking his head as he sat up more in his bed. His previously relaxed position becoming more rigid as he leaned forward, holding his head in his remaining hand. His stomach growled and he lurched, running, or well, stumbling to the bathroom.
He vomited, his whole body shaking as he spewed out whatever food remained in his body into the sink. Judelow gripped the edge of the sink, his knuckles going white. If it wasn't for someone yanking the door open, he probably would've gained himself a concussion on top of that. The rabbit hybrid didn't realize someone had caught him before he hit the ground until he was shook by his shoulders slightly.
Dazed, he blinked a few times. His eyes finally focusing on the figure in front of him. His body went rigid as his magenta eyes locked with deep olive ones.
“...Sharpness?”