Chapter Text
The Scarabia dorm lounge was looking akin to a battlefield. Broken cushions and overturned tables were scattered across the floor, sand was packed in every crevice, shattered pottery glittered beneath the dim lights, and scorch marks crawled across the walls where wild magic had struck. The rich reds and golds that normally made the lounge feel warm and welcoming now seemed dull beneath the weight of what had happened.
Jamil groaned as he woke up. "Where am I?"
"Oh good, you've regained your senses," Azul said beaming.
Grim looked (for lack of a better word) grim. "I'm gonna be having nightmares for ages now," he muttered.
Kalim burst out crying. It was the type of ugly sobbing that would've sent pre-overblot Jamil in a frenzy trying to calm him down before something happened. His shoulder's shook violently as tears fell down his face. "JAMIL!"
"I thought he said he was gonna punch him," Floyd muttered dejectedly.
Before anyone could stop him, Kalim launched himself forward.
Jamil barely had enough timer to register the incoming threat before Kalim wrapped both arms around him in a crushing hug. "Wha—"
"I'm so sorry!" Kalim wailed. "This whole time I never knew how miserable I was making you."
Azul gestured around the lounge. "And that's how we had this spectacular betrayal here."
"Yuuuup. Sea snake's been mocking Sea Otter beneath his breath for pretty much their entire lives!" Floyd added with a laugh.
"Wow and you guys say I'm blunt," Yuu and Grim deadpanned at the same time.
Kalim sniffled still clinging on Jamil. "Y-yes you are kind of a jerk," he continued.
"Excu—"
"But you are the one that's helped me my whole life. So let's just stop. From now on, we'll be rivals that compete earnestly for the top spot. I wants us to be equals and.." he sniffled again, "I want us to be friends Jamil."
That did it.
"Oh for fuck's sake." Jamil pushed Kalim away. "Equals? Friends?" His voice was growing increasingly higher with each word. "I'm not surprised that's what you got out of this. Well then let me tell you this as one equal to another." He cleared his throat. "NOT ON YOUR LIFE. WE WILL NEVER BE FRIENDS. HAVE YOU LEARNT NOTHING."
Grim jumped. "The heck?!"
'Oop,' Yuu thought.
Kalim blinked. "Huh?"
"YOU SPOILED, IDIOTIC, THOUGHTLESS, SLOPPY, CLUMSY, LUDICROUSLY OBLIVIOUS, ARROGANT, INDELICATE PAMPERED LITTLE RICH BOY. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WILLINGLY, VOLUNTARILY, GENUINELY BE FRIENDS WITH YOU. WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME NOW? NOTHING. AND THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH YOU: NOTHING. I WOULD GENUINELY TAKE AZUL OVER YOU!"
Kalim blinked. "What?!" The tears were coming back to his eyes. "Why would you say that?"
"Yikes, Jamil is ruthless," Yuu commented. "Real life wolf in sheep's clothing."
Azul shrugged. "And what's wrong with that?" he asked. "I quite like the authentic Jamil way much more.
Jamil rolled his eyes. "Ugh, your ingratiating smile is irritating. I doubt this is the 'authentic' you either."
For a moment, the room went silent.
Then Floyd burst out laughing. "HAHAHA! He got you, Azul!"
Azul's smile twitched slightly. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Sure you don't," Yuu muttered.
Deciding to ignore the quips spiralling from Jamil's second comment, Azul proceeded to go on a long tangent about how he'd always suspected there was more than meets the eye with Jamil plus the deductions and evidence that led Jim's to that conclusion to which he had finally been proven right. He ended his long ass monologue with a proposition to Jamil.
"You know," he started, "I think you'll get along much better with someone like me as opposed to Kalim. How about it? Care to transfer to Octavinelle?"
Jamil considered it. "Alright."
"No really. Just take your time to consi—"
"I said alright, Azul."
His glasses caught the light. "... I beg your pardon?"
"I said alright, Azul," the new Octavinelle member repeated as he crossed his arms. "I fear you need to work on your sale's pitch though. You sound hella shady. You couldn't even sound shadier if you tried, it's that bad."
Grim practically launched himself backward, Kalim's eyes widened larger than saucers, Yuu facepalmed at the ridiculousness and Floyd froze in sheer shock.
"My, my, he actually accepted it. He agreed immediately and then called your tactics garbage," Jade said grinning. "He's perfect!"
Azul adjusted his glasses. A tiny smile tugged at his lips. "I know."
Yuu pointed accusingly. "You have the face that says you've just found a new favorite problem."
"I have no favorites."
"You literally collect troublesome people."
"Not true."
"You employed Floyd."
Floyd held his hands up. "Hey why am I catching strays??"
Meanwhile, Kalim still hadn't moved. He looked between Jamil and Azul. Then Azul and Jamil again. Then Azul. Then Jamil.
Then— "YOU CAN DO THAT?!"
The entire room stared at him.
"That's what you're focusing on?" Yuu asked incredulously.
"You can just switch dorms?!"
"Apparently."
Kalim looked genuinely astonished.
"Jamil, you've wanted to be in Scarabia your whole life!"
"Meaning?"
"You can't just leave!"
"I quite literally can, Kalim."
"But—"
"I just did."
"But—"
"Observe."
Jamil pointed at himself. "I am leaving." Then he pointed at Azul. "He is taking me." Then he gestured vaguely at the lounge. "This is dorm is no longer my problem."
Yuu had to cover their mouth to stop themselves from laughing as a collective gasp came from the gathered Scarabia students. One of them actually looked ready to cry.
Jamil looked beyond delighted which Yuu immediately noticed. "He's enjoying this."
"Of course he is," Azul sighed. "He's making up for seventeen years of putting Kalim's life over his. However, I do wonder how the Asims would react to this though."
"They don't need to know," Jamil cut in flatly. "My overblot, my transfer, my feelings, the whole lot, none of it." He turned to the Asim heir with a fake smile. "Right Kalim?"
The fake smile on Jamil's face was somehow worse than any glare or insult he'd given all day. It was polite, pleasant, perfectly practiced. The smile of someone who had spent years saying exactly what people wanted to hear. And now everyone in the room knew it was fake.
Kalim stared at him. The realization seemed to hit him all over again. His whole life, he'd thought he could read Jamil better than anyone. Now he wasn't sure he'd known him at all. "You're mean," he finally dared to say. "You're exceptionally mean."
Jamil rolled his eyes. "Oh spare me."
"No seriously. You are!" Kalim shit back.
"Damn, you two are really dysfunctional," Floyd interjected. "Like I knew you were weird and interesting," he continued, stretching his arms, "but not to this extent." He grinned showing all his sharp teeth. "Hehe, this is the best day ever."
"You watched someone overblot," Yuu reminded him.
"And then Sea Snake joined our dorm."
Across the room, the Scarabia students still looked shell-shocked. Scarabia Student B finally raised a trembling hand. "Vice Housewarden Jamil?"
Jamil looked over. "Former Vice Housewarden," he corrected sharply.
Scarabia Student B visibly recoiled. "Right. Sorry."
"Get used to it."
Another student looked horrified. "You're actually leaving?"
"Yes."
"But who'll organize the schedules?"
"Not me."
"The events?"
"Not me."
"The cooking?"
"Not me."
"The budgeting?"
"Definitely not me."
The growing panic among Scarabia became increasingly visible. One student had to sit down. Another looked ready to faint. A third whispered, "We're doomed."
It was getting harder for Yuu to not laugh.
"Probably," Jamil agreed.
"JAMIL!"
"What?"
"You can't just abandon us!"
"I absolutely can."
Amidst all the growing panic and chaos, Azul was looking increasingly pleased. "Your organizational skills will be greatly appreciated in Octavinelle, Jamil," he declared.
"I know."
"And your cooking skills."
"I know."
"Your magical abilities are impressive."
"I know."
"You would make a valuable addition."
"I know."
Azul paused. "You could at least pretend to be humble."
"Why?" he replied bluntly.
Floyd and Yuu lost it. They doubled over in hysterics. "Oh he's definitely one of us," the moray added wheezing.
"No," Kalim said suddenly.
Everyone turned their heads to look at the poor unfortunate Housewarden. His eyes were still red and his expression was still miserable. But now there was a hint of determination mixed in.
"No."
Jamil frowned. "The fuck you mean, no?"
"No," he repeated fiercely. "I won't let this be the end."
Jamil's exhausted expression returned.
"Kalim."
"No."
"Kalim—"
"No."
"Kali—"
"No."
"For the love of my sanity, please stop saying no."
...
"No."
Jamil turned his attention to his new Housewarden. "Azul, can I transfer faster please?" he asked with a defeated sigh.
"Like I said earlier, I have many secrets against our less than esteemed headmage," the octo-mer replied.
He actually gave a genuine smile in return. "Thank you."
"YOU'RE BOTH MEAN!" Kalim exclaimed.
"Thank you," Jamil and Azul replied simultaneously.
The synchronized response was so immediate and so identical that the entire room froze again. Gears were turning in Yuu's head.
"Why are you all looking at us like that," they said, yet again in sync.
Jamil waved his hand dismissively. "You know what? I actually don't care. I'm leaving."
Azul held him back by his dangling Scarabia belt. "Wait a minute, Jamil. We still have to help clear up," he informed.
He grimaced. "I am not a Scarabia student anymore. Why is this my problem?"
"You caused it."
"... Fair."
"Additionally," Azul started in a tone that conveyed he was going into one of his long ass monologues, "as students of Octavinelle we have a duty to mirror the great benevolence of the great Sea Witch at all times. It would be utterly unacceptable and not benevolent of us if we were to leave this poor unfortunate dorm in such a horrendous state."
"I've been in Octavinelle for five minutes and I'm already being exploited," Jamil deadpanned. "Oh goodness, I regret this already."
After Jamil and the Octatrio had indeed stayed at most two days after to helps clear up, Kalim had declared an impromptu party. An impromptu party in which he had danced with Jamil despite the latter's protest and his swearing on his life that he'd never be friends with much less like Kalim. Then Azul had tried to dance with Jamil, but he ended up stumbling and fumbling. Badly.
It had been a humiliating experience for everyone involved. Especially Azul.
"Again," he muttered under his breath as he adjusted his glasses for the third time in ten seconds, "I do not stumble."
"You did," everyone said immediately.
Even worse for Azul, he had fumbled in front of first years. And not just any first years. The Adeuce duo, who had managed to show up late to save the day but just at the right time to witness Azul's fall from grace. Did those two have to be there for nearly every humiliating experience of his NRC life?
At the same impromptu party, Kalim had announced that Scarabia Student B (whose name everyone was STILL wondering) would be the new Vice Housewarden.
"Does being a Scarabia vice entail a looking fine requirement cause damn," Yuu muttered, observing the newly appointed vice Housewarden who surprisingly looked unfrightened. "Like first Jamil, then this dude."
The whole desert went silent and every head turned toward in Yuu's direction. "We can all hear you by the way," someone spoke up.
"Oh."... "Oopsies."
When Crowley had finally returned from his so called 'highly important work excursion' a week later, he was graced with the presence of two terrifying sophomores in his office. One was sitting while the other was standing. Neither looked quite pleased. Either was one thing but both of them was downright terrifying. Even for an esteemed headmage. And the way they were standing together like... like allies, it sent shivers down Crowley's spine.
"Mr Ashengrotto! Mr Viper!" He exclaimed, spreading his arms out theatrically. "To what do I owe the—"
Jamil cut him off, "Respectfully cut the crap."
Crowley laughed nervously. He pointed to the right of the room. "Why is the prefect here?" he tried deflecting.
Yuu waved holding the camera.
"Pictures but that's not the point," Azul answered dismissively. "You've sorted out transfers before, correct? That's a silly question — I know you have. Let's just get the paperwork sorted quickly."
Crowley rested his elbows on the desk. "Who's transferring?"
"Me," Jamil answered.
His smile dropped. "What? To where?!"
"Take a wild guess, headmage," he deadpanned.
His eyes flicked up to Azul's, then back down to Jamil. "No," he said shakily.
"Yes," the second years said at the same time.
"But the paperwork and transferring takes a long long while. I can't just 'sort it out quickly."
"We don't care. And you definitely can."
"But Mr Viper is Scarabia's greatest asset. I mean have you really considered—"
"Yes."
"But the Asims—"
"Would be very displeased to know that you let four overblots happen in the span of three months. One within the very first week of school and the other while you were absent," Azul reminded him with a smile. "And so would... well everyone if word just happened to get out. Oh and don't even get me started on—"
The headmage slammed both his hands down in the table. "DON'T."
Azul raised an eyebrow. "Don't?"
Crowley sat back down trying to feign calmness. "Let's just... take a moment to talk things over."
Yuu zoomed in on his increasingly haunted expression. This was historical documentation that future generations deserved to know. Also useful blackmail for the future.
He pointed a trembling finger between the two sophomores. "You've been working together for one week, no?"
"Correct."
"One week."
"Yes?"
"And somehow you've become this."
Jamil frowned. "This?"
Crowley gestured wildly. "This! Whatever this is!"
Azul thought about it. "A highly efficient partnership?"
"A threat."
"Well that's no way to talk about your students now is it, dear headmage?" Azul replied, looking genuinely offended. "I guess that's another thing added to the li—"
Crowley jolted upright. "Hey, hey, let's not get too hasty now." He opened a drawer. "In fact the paperwork is right here let's get started straight away." He practically ripped it out of the drawer. "There!" he declared. "See? No need for threats, blackmail, intimidation, coercion, extortion, emotional manipulation, or whatever else you two lovely valuable students had planned."
Azul's offended look grew. "We hadn't even started."
The headmage paled. As he begrudgingly flicked through pages and signed lines, he looked on the verge of crying. Once he was done, he turned the stack towards the pair.
Jamil took the paperwork, skimmed it once, then twice. "...This is it?"
Crowley blinked. "What do you mean, 'this is it'?"
"It's three double sided pages."
"Yes?"
"You were stressing over three double sided pages? This is the 'long long while' paperwork you were talking about?" Jamil sighed and borrowed a pen from Azul. He signed. Then Azul did.
A magical seal appeared across the top of the pile.
There was a moment of silent apart from the brief click of Yuu's camera.
Then POOF. A puff of purple smoke erupted around Jamil.
Yuu & Azul jumped and Yuu nearly dropped the camera. "What the heck was that?!" they exclaimed.
Crowley looked surprised. "Oh right. I forgot."
"YOU FORGOT?"
"The dorm uniforms update automatically."
The smoke cleared revealing Jamil head to toe in Octavinelle's uniform. He would be lying if he said he didn't miss the gold & red plus the hood of Scarabia but at least he got to keep all his jewellery.
Azul, on the other hand, was beginning to realise how easy af he was.
Not in general, of course.
Certainly not.
He was a sophisticated businessman. A calculating strategist. A benevolent follower of the Sea Witch. The respected Housewarden of Octavinelle. A man renowned for his intelligence, self-control, and impeccable judgment.
And yet..
Jamil put on an Octavinelle uniform and suddenly Azul was having thoughts. Thoughts that would have the twins laughing him out of the Mostro Lounge for all eternity.
Yuu snapped a picture.
Azul cleared his throat, "We should take a picture for Magicam to commemorate this fine per— moment," he announced.
Jamil narrowed his eyes. "What."