Chapter Text
boltknight: gloom. we have a situation.
gloomurai: bolt? wsg
boltknight: i’ve been transmigrated into twisted wonderland
gloomurai: oh no
boltknight: first of all, why do you believe me.
boltknight: second of all,
boltknight has sent an image.
[Lilia is cooking in the kitchen of what looks to be a cottage. Malleus Draconia himself sits at the table across from a visibly sweating Silver, having locked eyes with each other and resigned themselves to their fate. The photo looks like it was taken from down the hallway.]
boltknight: WHAT DO I DO
gloomurai: LOL ur cooked
gloomurai: three final bosses out there!
gloomurai: try ur best / act normal
gloomurai: rnt you supposed to run from lilia when he cooks? poison debuff go brr
boltknight: I know that! I said I required the bathroom and promptly left. That is where i am now.
boltknight: I know I’m basically sebek zigvolt irl but i didnt take it to mean i should be isekai’d as him!!!
gloomurai: u’ll probs b fine
gloomurai: they luv u and u lov them. easy
boltknight: idek how i can text you rn. none of my other contacts are going through.
gloomurai: o thats bc im actually from twst
boltknight: …i beg your pardon?
gloomurai: then beg
gloomurai: no srs tho i’m from twst. nrc student n all
gloomurai: thats y i believed u when u said u were isekaid
gloomurai: could finally properly track ur location
boltknight: putting the tracking part aside…
boltknight: was it not weird playing a game about your peers?? or COMMUNICATING with another world!?!!??
gloomurai: na
gloomurai: been comming w ur world for years
gloomurai: co-op’s not much fun when half the worlds stuck in the 1300s cough cough briar valley
boltknight: well. okay then.
boltknight: insane achievement btw
boltknight: are you sure youre not idia shroud himself? lol
gloomurai: ur not gna blieve this.
boltknight: what. WHAT. excuse me. what?
boltknight: you’re who. whom. who? him? idia sheoud? blue hair and pronouns?
gloomurai: ya. thats me. sup
boltknight: did it never creep you out when i said i wanted to pull for you. or your brother.
gloomurai: eh, comes w the territory of comms w another world
gloomurai: kinda offended when u skipped my ssr banner tho
boltknight: it was for malleus sama!!!
gloomurai: simp
gloomurai: i gained so many thaumarks from u ysing my support chars bc of ur pride XD
gloomurai: i always thought u were super twinning w your description of sebek
boltknight: WELL NOW I AM SEBEK AND IM HIGHKEY PANICKING WHAT DO I DOOO????
boltknight: convo giving whiplash i may start crying
gloomurai: not when u have 3 whole found family figures outside ffs get it together
gloomurai: theyd gen destroy the universe to find what made u cry
gloomurai: & u can socialise
gloomurai: we kno this
boltknight: THATS NOT EVEN TRUE
boltknight: SEBEK DOESNT HAVE A FAMILIALLY CLOSE RELATIONSHIP W THEM??? NOT AS FAR AS I KNOW
(Idia sighs and prepares himself for a long rant.)
boltknight: they treat him like a pet bought from a shelter who theyve spent too much time with to abandon
boltknight: all he is is a public embarrassment omfg
boltknight: i love him but every time he opens his mouth he embarrasses himself hes so obnoxious. AND UNAWARE. AND LOUD.
boltknight: theres absolutely NO proof of a familial relationship between them and sebek!!! there are scenes which coukd be framed as such but it all falls apart when you look into it
boltknight: there are silver & lilia then lilia & malleus family scenes compilations. none for sebek. sebek not only ALREADY HAS ANOTHER FAMILY, but has a strictly distanced relationship w them i actuallt cannot
boltknight: sebek was a student under lilia and a rival of silver and only treats malleus with devotion and respect bordering on worship (probably is worship) and said ‘i met him in the woods and he said i should keep up the good work’ and he thought that was a pivotal moment in their relationship, he barely knows mal personally
boltknight: gods imagine how isolated he mustve felt when he was training w silver and lilia. father son + some fucking rando who was added bc nepotism
boltknight: he was a late bloomer and is only half fae and is left handed as well which makes normal training different
boltknight: im left handed so i Know
boltknight: and his idol worship of malleus COULD have a deeper meaning if it was like. ‘if i rip away malleus then who am i?’ BUT SEBEK IS SO. CRIMINALLY UNAWARE AND DEVOTED AND SOMEHOW A HAPPY BOYO????
boltknight: it would be such good angst potential if only it wasn’t shown how like. coddled and spoiled this lil guy was.
boltknight: two older siblings, mother, father, grandfather. happy ass family. if he was allowed to grow up such a loud brash and abrasive person then he was obviously granted leniency somewhere down the line.
boltknight: THATS BESIDES THE POINT AARRGH anyways he cant be found family with diasomnia because diasomnia is so. formal with each other. even in book 7, sebek was literally just there
boltknight: we got silver lore bombs and lilia lore bombs and like so many ither bombs but sebek was just there. loud green croc boy.
gloomurai: u havent even played book 7 you larper
boltknight: i know what happens because i constantly consume fandom content and figure out the context from clips and stuff!! hashtag intelligence
gloomurai: cater diamond ahh
gloomurai: i know ur a sebek kinnie bro
gloomurai: no need to hide it
gloomurai: ur malleus obsession started as a tribute to sebek, we been knew
gloomurai: also diasomnia is 100% found family, ur just in denial bc u wont accept good things 4 u
boltknight: …
boltknight: you know what.
boltknight: its fine. i can do this.
gloomurai: loving the positivity.
boltknight: whats the date. i need it
gloomurai: idk its the break after my second year. few days b4 school starts again
gloomurai: so u’ll b one of the new freshies in a few days
gloomurai: i kinda wanna watch u suffer more lmao
gloomurai: nrc is hellish
boltknight: aaaaaaaaa
gloomurai: so many boss enemies around
boltknight: by the lord your attitude is actually helping me calm down. wtf
gloomurai: part of my charm
boltknight: FUCK IM BEING CALLED BACK DOWN. wish me luck
gloomurai: come back from war intact pls
boltknight: why are we friends
gloomurai: low maintenance + shared interests + chill natures
gloomurai: tho id argue ur never chill about ur favs
boltknight: pot meet kettle
boltknight: BYE FUCK GTG FR THIS TIME
gloomurai: c u =u=
——————————
boltknight: gloom.
boltknight: or should i call you idia.
gloomurai: stick w gloom
gloomurai: howd the dinner go
boltknight: lilia started a grease fire and tried putting it out with water
gloomurai: oof lmao
boltknight: no its actually a good thing
gloomurai: how
boltknight: lilia was like ‘i cant go feeding the kids char!’ and threw it out
boltknight: so i was like ‘im gonna cook’ because i can cook something better than lilia
boltknight: not a high bar
boltknight: but then. i kid you not.
boltknight: the fucking genshin impact cooking interface appeared.
gloomurai: ?? cinema?
boltknight: so i made some random dish for all four of us that was delicious as FUCK
boltknight: speaking of fuck. i forgot sebek zigvolt was a fat fuck who had a bottomless appetite. i made seconds and thirds in advance and i ate alll of it. i did not know little ica was also incarnated into this body
gloomurai: u make me giggle
boltknight: so anyways. im designated cook now. for the uh. three days im here
boltknight: they told me all about nrc
boltknight: lilia said ‘make friends’ and ‘be gay do crime’ to which i responded ‘i am quite gay (happy) already, not having a criminal status!’ and silver spit take’d directly onto malleus
gloomurai: HAH! onto final bossman himself!?
boltknight: i went all loud (as one does) and malleus raised a hand and i was GAGGED. like are you silent or were you silenced? both. i am respectful to lord malleus draconia heir to briar valley.
boltknight: malleus said ‘what a… queer (unique??? though he couldve just been calling silver gay) response, silver.’ and thank goodness for my stone cold poker face. i didnt know malleus draconia himself was funny
boltknight: lilia was cackling and i stared in confusion
gloomurai: lilia is me
gloomurai: thats absolutely gold
gloomurai: he’s def def justifyijg it by saying he forgot about that particular linguistic shift lolololol
boltknight: i had finished my food by that point so lilia sent me to pack my stuff which. three days in advance is a bit early but fair
boltknight: and thank fuck for prev sebek who already packed the shit necessary, i dont think i could pinpoint things i need
gloomurai: speakin of
gloomurai: u should probably catch up on ur education
gloomurai: in canon, sebek had hella education from briar valley
boltknight: no problem there
boltknight: ive got prev sebek’s memories as well
boltknight: all that stuff is practically instinct by now
boltknight: and before i texted you i was training w silv and lilia while running on confusion and adrenaline
boltknight: magic and combat also had a game interface so i did fine
gloomurai: ur set then
gloomurai: gl
boltknight: thank you
boltknight: i think ill come up with a gameplan tomorrow
boltknight: there’s no rush. sebek isn’t relevant until book 7
gloomurai: i forget that you only started playing the game two weeks ago
gloomurai: the fandom content rlly carried u for a long while, didn’t it
boltknight: yeah. okay goodnight. my bed is really comfy
gloomurai: gn
———
boltknight: good morning! i know you arent awake because its 7 in the morning
boltknight: i was missing my stuffed animals and they were in the bed. sebek zigvolt is a soft boi internally.
gloomurai: the crocodile and the squirrel?
boltknight: crocpot and squire, yes
boltknight: wait why the fuck sre you awake right now
gloomurai: just about to go to bed actually
boltknight: oh makes sense
gloomurai: if u wanna take them to nrc w u then put them in ur luggage
boltknight: posthaste!
gloomurai: holy fcking vocab
gloomurai: also pls dont gel ur hair, u look better w/o it
boltknight: im gonna keep it up, change it after riddle’s ob or some random point in time, then pretend like it was always that way
gloomurai: good idea xD
gloomurai: ill get cam footage of reactions n send it 2 u
boltknight: tyyy omg having friends with camera access is so nice
gloomurai: right?
boltknight: you know
boltknight: you could make hella bank from selling lecture recordings to the ppl who are struggling
gloomurai: that’d require socialising + some shit from azul
gloomurai: dont wanna get involved
boltknight: arent you friends w lilia aka extrovert 2000? get him to sell it for you
gloomurai: u just want him too busy to cook
boltknight: but it would give you money
gloomurai: im alr rich
gloomurai: styx n all
boltknight: you could be my source for generating income then? if you dont need it i’ll take it /shrug
gloomurai: ill snd the recordings to you ig
boltknight: nice
boltknight: i was gonna offer to edit them anyway
boltknight: im gonna start like
boltknight: rumours and shit of a mysterious lecture handout guy
gloomurai: ya and ur gna b 2 obnoxious 2 b sus lol
boltknight: lilia would know anyway
gloomurai: tru
gloomurai: n e wayz get in game i need 2 farm mats
gloomurai: wait do u evn have any games here
gloomurai: bolt?
gloomurai: sebek
gloomurai: yo
gloomurai: hello?
boltknight: sorry
boltknight: a blue window popped up
boltknight: i can play all my games
boltknight: including twst
boltknight: and no one else can see it
boltknight: and i also got my old headphones but in transparent so hell yeah
boltknight: rip noise cancelling tho im gonna have to hear through the music
gloomurai: oh sick
gloomurai: youd look insanely weird typing in the air though
boltknight: thats the thing
boltknight: i can just?? do it with my mind
gloomurai: oh?
boltknight: i can use mouse and keyboard through telepathy or smth its rlly cool
boltknight: like i could think ‘lets pull off this sick play’ and my char will move to fit it
gloomurai: oh shiit thats sick asf
gloomurai: lets q then and see how it goes
boltknight: YAY
—————
gloomurai: todays the day
boltknight: TODAY IS THE DAY
boltknight: jinx
gloomurai: fuck
gloomurai: lmaooo get ready for the coffin boy
boltknight: yo if its comfy should i steal it for my bed?
gloomurai: okay vampire i didnt know u were actually related to lilia
boltknight: im surprised lilia doesnt sleep in a coffin
boltknight: should i steal one and gift it to lilia akfjshd
boltknight: like after book 6 before book 7 i give the coffin to lilia and he’s like ‘is this an insult to my age?’ or like ‘how did u know im DYING soon’
gloomurai: ROFL thats so good you should do that
gloomurai: tho im scared the insinuations wld trigger an early ob for malleus
boltknight: WHAT IF I DO IT AT THE PARTY
gloomurai: THE SAME PARTY MAL OB’D AT ??? 😭 sure i guess. him overblotting a few seconds earlier wont make a huge change
gloomurai: mfs be doing anything nowadays
boltknight: im having fun w it
boltknight: cant exactly go home until yuu does yk
gloomurai: yeah… rip
————————
gloomurai: lmao i saw ur ass at the sorting just now
boltknight: was i adequately sebekian?
gloomurai: i think so
gloomurai: loud as hell
gloomurai: how did you get malleus to attend?? he never goes
boltknight: oh! the night before, i went up to him all nervous baby croc style and went ‘so so so um .. um lord malleus… wwwwwwakaasama… um… will u b-be there @ the sorting… um please?’
gloomurai: pls tell me thats not what u acc said.
boltknight: its close enough
boltknight: so lilia was rhen like ‘ofc he’ll be there sebek! its an event where presence is mandatory.’
boltknight: and malleus was like ‘oh i was unaware’
boltknight: bang, malleus attends. that means less fire. gotta love an op guy u can manipulate the actions of because they trust u so inherently
gloomurai: …this is y im so grateful ur on our side and love malleus draconia
gloomurai: if some malicious stranger spawned with the friendship lvl u do, he’d be gone in a heartbeat
boltknight: i was exaggerating, youre waaaay overestimating me lol. wakasama doesnt care about sebek enough to follow suspicious orders. it’s not just him either, he has lilia and silver as well
boltknight: he’s not alone in this
(Idia’s jaw clenches.)
gloomurai: fyi u arent alone here either. you have me and ur still part of diafam, stop txting like theyre just a trio
GLOOMURAI DELETED A MESSAGE
boltknight: what was that?
gloomurai: fyi riddle nodded in approval when u shut up those chatty firsties. i think malleus mightve too
boltknight: oh good im building rapport
boltknight: did u kno that in canon riddle wouldve put sebek in charge of the first years if he was sorted into heartslabyul
gloomurai: now how does one get pre overblot riddle’s approval w/o sum crazy shi…
boltknight: by being a normal, respectful, calm person
gloomurai: which u are not.
gloomurai: 1. malleus. 2. ur OVERLY respectful 2 mal snd disrespectful 2 evry1 else. 3. malleus
boltknight: okay. alright. i see how it is
boltknight: ig im gonna direct my yapping at lilia’s gaming habits by calling them time-wasting and irresponsible… insisting on those habits being horrible…… while malleus, poor oblivious malleus is in earshot. listening to how unhealthy his vice’s habits are. the vice who he wants to keep healthy for as long as possible……
gloomurai: WAIT NO FUCK
gloomurai: IM SORRY DONT TAKE MUSCLERED AWAY
gloomurai: iwas just pointing out the truth!
boltknight: heh.. 😈 this is what happens when u mess with mee
gloomurai: when my eyes turn red 😈run
boltknight: ^lilia, whose eyes are always red
gloomurai: .
gloomurai: u kno id run from that mf irl
boltknight: true…
gloomurai: …
boltknight: …
boltknight: i still got lost.
gloomurai: ? topic shift wdym
boltknight: oh in canon sebek gets lost after the ceremony and ends up in scarabia
gloomurai: ????
boltknight: jamil’s ceremonial robes vignette
boltknight: i thought id be able to stay with diasomnia but i got distracted by our texts 😭
gloomurai: oh…
gloomurai: just ask to go back
boltknight: im SCARED
boltknight: as a fellow introvert i thought youd understand!
gloomurai: u may be an introvert but SEBEK ZIGVOLT has no shame whatsoever! embrace it boy
boltknight: thats comforting in a weird way
boltknight: lol i dont have any of my prev insecurities!
gloomurai: good 4 u. now GET TO DIASOMNIA. them weather detectors in ignihyde r sensing a fuckin THUNDERSTORM in the air
gloomurai: courtesy of ur master
boltknight: i cant leave wakasama waiting!
boltknight: off i go
boltknight: to interact with JAMIL VIPER and KALIM AL ASIM. AKA THE SCARIEST MOTHERFUCKERS IN HERE.
gloomurai: you know that aint true
boltknight: JAMIL VIPER.
gloomurai: ok fair
boltknight: i know kalim got some dark shit under his sunshine. no one lives like that and comes out normal
boltknight: wish me luck again
gloomurai: just go before the TRUE scariest mf kills us all for losing his lil bro
boltknight: AAAAAAAAGH
————————
boltknight: should i join equestrian club for accuracy or join the pop music club for the vibes
boltknight: performances oh my love
gloomurai: cant you join both
gloomurai: also put board games club in there
boltknight: but then where is my free time going to go? three clubs at once?
gloomurai: i have a copy of the club schedules and none of them overlap dw
gloomurai: + cater kalim lilia are kind enough to let you out if uve got a clash
gloomurai: so will board games club
boltknight: urgh
boltknight: music club would be the ideal but i dont want to intrude on an established club dynamic
boltknight: and i dont wanna interrupt whatever you and azul do in board games club
boltknight: yall look deranged.
gloomurai: thats ur decision made then
boltknight: equestrian club it is then…
boltknight: i get to be elegant and drippy
boltknight: those equestrian fits are really cool im not mad about it
boltknight: and the hair
boltknight: especially the hair
boltknight: they look like princes and im sick its so good
gloomurai: simp… theyre minors btw
boltknight: I WAS 16 IN MY PAST LIFE
boltknight: and im 16 now!
boltknight: i can admire aesthetics! this is absolutely not intended to be romantic in any way shape or form
boltknight: but malleus and lilia though i can admit are attractive af. like objectively. not shipping current body sebek with them.
boltknight: general lilia especially. love me some silly goofy comedy with badass past. what a trope
gloomurai: u were 16!? i deadass thought u were 18
boltknight: its called lying, gloom
boltknight: im not putting my actual age out on the internet
gloomurai: fair
—————————
boltknight: I FORGOT THAT HORSES WERE DEATHLY AFRAID OF SEBEK
gloomurai: what happened?
boltknight: I APPROACHED THE STABLES AND THEY ALL RAN AWAY FROM ME AND RIDDLE JUST STARED IN HORROR
boltknight: I GUARANTEE INTERNALLY HE WAS LIKE ‘what kind of… strange eldritch creature does one have to be. for all the horses to react this way.’
gloomurai: LMAO WUT
boltknight: BUT THEN SILVER 😭 DISNEY PRINCESS SILVER APPROACHED 😭 AND ALL THOSE FUCKIN HORSES WERE PRESSING THEMSELVES AGAINST THE FRONT OF THEIR SPACES AND MAKING NOISE FOR SILVERS ATTENTION 😭
boltknight: SO FROM RIDDLE POV:
boltknight: horses back
boltknight: horses front
boltknight: criss cross
boltknight: cha cha real smooth
gloomurai: i know you snorted at your own joke fugly horse hater
boltknight: how did sebek equestrian it up in the first place
boltknight: shojld i just quit for bg club?
boltknight: give up on the noble dignified steed-riding which is a skill i WILL need in the future to serve malleus in briar valley aka the very old timey lands
boltknight: in favour of playing fucking monopoly with the guy who has a full ass conglomerate in school?
boltknight: and that other loser housewarden of blue place?
gloomurai: im gonna reject ur application.
boltknight: but lilia wont if i join music, checkmate
gloomurai: unfortunately you cant checkmate me because you arent playing chess bc you ARENT IN THE BORDGAMES CLUB
gloomurai: hows that for a checkmate?
boltknight: im gonna tell silver that i had an unpleasant interaction with the ignihyde housewarden and wakasama and lilia will be conveniently within hearing distance.
gloomurai: DO YOU ACTUALLT WANT ME TO DIE
gloomurai: STOP THREATENING ME WITH DEATH WHENEVER I FUCK W UUU ToT
boltknight: then give me actual advice plsss as a housewarden to a first year🥺
gloomurai: okaaay okayy ill cut you some slack
gloomurai: just. do whatever you want
gloomurai: you clearly werent transmigrated here with the intention of keeping everything the same
boltknight: yeah overblots obv
gloomurai: but that means you dont have to keep the minor irrelevant stuff the same as well
gloomurai: like, apart from character cards, what actual purpose did the clubs serve?
boltknight: it allowed for more exploration of character dynamics
boltknight: letting otherwise weak relationships feel more present
gloomurai: but youre already siblings with silver
boltknight: i mean, having riddle on my side would be pretty nice
gloomurai: consider
gloomurai: housewarden of heartslabyul (pre overblot) (thats important, no one likes pre overblot riddle)
gloomurai: vs
gloomurai: budding magicam influencer cater diamond and KALIM AL-ASIM
gloomurai: vs
gloomurai: azul ashengrotto, the shadiest man known to mankind
boltknight: how would i form a connection with riddle otherwise?
gloomurai: ur relationship w him in canon wasnt strong
boltknight: …fine that is true
boltknight: ugh but lilia is already in the pop music club and i dont want to intrude on what is likely the only time he has away from us in diafam
gloomurai: soooo
boltknight: i guess im joining board games club
gloomurai: LETS FUCKING GO gg ez wp by me
boltknight: im gonna tell diafam its for concentration and strategy training
boltknight: and silver can say its because the fucking horses ran away from me
boltknight: they want to ruin my life
gloomurai: so happy to have u man
boltknight: glad to b here :)
—————
gloomurai: ow my eardrums
gloomurai: whyyy are you so loud sebek zigvolt
boltknight: i had to submit my application! that requires clear communication and clear communication needs CLEAR WORDS
boltknight: you actually mumble its flabbergasting how fast you can speak without any clarity whatsoever
boltknight: eminem’s evil twin smarties
gloomurai: uuughhh well wtv its approved now
gloomurai: meetings on thursday afternoons
boltknight: ofc its thursday
gloomurai: ?? uncalled for
boltknight: LOOK IT JIST SEEMDED LIKE A THURFSADAY PASTTIME
boltknight: also how does azul run mostro loungr on thursdays? if. if club
gloomurai: oh. he puts the twins in charge
boltknight: AND NOBODY’S DIED YET?
gloomurai: if anyone got sick or died then crowley would have to shut it down
gloomurai: and the tweels know that azul wouldnt like it
gloomurai: ergo. they do not kill in the lounge when not sanctioned by azul.
boltknight: suddenly very glad that diafam likes sebek
boltknight: in sebek’s labwear vignette, azul actively refrains from overly scamming sebek because he says ‘there are some in diasomnia who arent to be trifled with’ and i am so. so glad. that i have scary people on my side.
gloomurai: u do realise that u count as one of the scary people
gloomurai: like diasomnia has always been known as the scary mysterious noble all-rounder people
gloomurai: and that includes you
boltknight: what? no, sebek is like
boltknight: loud and obnoxious
boltknight: his personality and intentions are perfectly clear all day every day
boltknight: ugh he’s so cute he thinks things can be solved through words
boltknight: sebek classic chills twisted thrills ssr card vignette with sally
gloomurai: thats what makes him scary
gloomurai: bc they expect u to b all bark no bite
gloomurai: like if ignihyde student a acted like that everyone wojld be like
gloomurai: lmaooo loser overcompensating for smth? like. their grades are bad and theyre defensive about it using the powerful name of a higher up
gloomurai: but you were sorted into DIASOMNIA. where there’s an unspoken standard of ability required
gloomurai: u lit got full marks on the aptitude test trein gave u. and we all saw you walk off with mal lils and silver after dorm intro and welcome party was over
boltknight: were you stalking me rook hunt 2.0.
gloomurai: ok look i have camera access and a bsf on his first few days
gloomurai: i was curious
boltknight: how would you rate my performance?
gloomurai: 10/10, you were 100% sebek. +1% for every malleus mention
gloomurai: but also you sit at the Special diasomnia table in the cafeteria and its blatantly clear that they love u
gloomurai: usually dia table is all tense and quiet and lilia yaps the whole time
gloomurai: but i saw you
gloomurai: and you looked… angry but it was the routine domestic kind of angry. bickering w silver. malleus smiled in a not-scary way and istg half the cafeteria swooned
gloomurai: silver smiled too and it was a proper smile rather then just the bashful ‘oh…’ smile
gloomurai: ur making a fam out of dia yet
gloomurai: lmao but the face you and silv pulled when lilia tp’d to adeuce was hysterical
boltknight: …
boltknight: i have to reconsider my found family stance
gloomurai: oms fucking finally
boltknight: it is true that sebek was the only one of diafam who wasnt in nrc for a full year
boltknight: but diafam was just lilia malleus and silver for like a while
gloomurai: like 7 years. uve known silver for 10. uve been a STAPLE at their household since u were 6 and silver was 7
boltknight: six sevennn
gloomurai: im sending you to the underworld.
boltknight: not without diafam you wont
boltknight: fine i guess we were called a family in silver’s halloween vignette
boltknight: i do notice that sebek wasnt mentioned by name in it save for silver saying how long theyve known each other
gloomurai: you lit completed it fam
gloomurai: not to b sappy. but 2 b sappy. i guarantee they all were a bit restless without your presence
boltknight: ty this is making me feel better :)
gloomurai:
gloomurai: n e way you def def are one of the scary ppl bc u have blind adoration for ur leader and great skill 2 back it up :)
boltknight: ugh this sebek glaze is feeding me
boltknight: i love that boy
gloomurai: …
(Idia almost slams his head against his desk. He’s 99% sure that Sebek’s past life was also a Sebek life. Denial spanning across two lifetimes is incredible density.)
gloomurai: you should torment azul during board game club meetups
boltknight: ugh ill just improvise when it comes to it
——————
gloomurai: yo bolt u available rn i gotta farm
musclered: oho? who’s bolt?
gloomurai: wrong person soz
musclered: I'm so sad though, gloom! :( I thought I was your only gaming buddy!
gloomurai: an introvert’s gotta branch out eventually haha
gloomurai: pretty sad to only have one friend tbh
musclered: kehehe, I merely jest. do introduce me sometime! I’m excited to see who else has wormed their way into gloom’s closed-off heart!
gloomurai: ofc! but bolts a lil shy so prob not n e time soon
musclered: no pressure whatsoever! :)
gloomurai: thx red
gloomurai: on that note, bolt’s def asleep at this hour sooo
gloomurai: wanna farm?
musclered: I thought you’d never ask!
——————
gloomurai: bolt
gloomurai: red found ur existence
gloomurai: he’s expecting an intro sometime soon
gloomurai: but i said u were shy so you do have extra time
boltknight: oh? wait im chill with that
boltknight: i like lilia :)
boltknight: i wanna vaguetext and see how long it takes before he realises
gloomurai: knowing you you’ll reveal it in like three days
boltknight: i live for instant gratification
gloomurai: tsk tsk i thought i taught you better than that
boltknight: nope! and neither did lilia
gloomurai: tru that
———
gloomurai created a group chat
gloomurai added musclered
gloomurai added boltknight
gloomurai: musclered, meet boltknight
gloomurai: boltknight, meet musclered
gloomurai: both of u are my online friends :)
boltknight: Hello, Musclered! It is delightful to meet someone whom Gloomurai holds in such high esteem! :D
musclered: Hi boltknight!!! >:3 we should go into dm’s and share stuff about gloom so we can fuck with him!
gloomurai: Σ（ﾟдﾟlll） NOT EVEN A MINUTE IN AND U 2 R ALREADY WORKING AGAINST ME!?
boltknight: Ah, surely not so hasty. Let us commune with this third party present as to alleviate his fears, and when his guard lowers is when we shall strike!
musclered: Ingenious! Haha, I have a feeling you and I will get along very well, bolt!
boltknight: as do i, red!
——————
DM: musclered, boltknight
musclered: sooo~
boltknight: ?
musclered: be not afraid! i simply wish to speak to a friend of a friend!
boltknight: go right ahead!
musclered: how long have you known gloomurai?
boltknight: three or four years now. you?
musclered: much the same.
musclered: i am truly glad he has more companions outside of myself :)
boltknight: likewise :)
musclered: let’s be kind to our mutual friend :D
boltknight: :D!!
—————
DM: gloomurai, boltknight
boltknight: did i ever tell you that classes are like ads and tests are like twistunes
gloomurai: …elaborate
boltknight: i take out my book and pen for the subject
boltknight: then a panel is put down with a puzzle on it
boltknight: and i get to work on the puzzle
boltknight: ive currently figured out that it’s one puzzle per topic and the difficulty depends on how many lessons we get on it
boltknight: but otherwise it looks like im doing the work and asking questions and stuff
gloomurai: WTF. unfair cheat code!
boltknight: and i get to actually listen to the teacher while this happens! i understand it just fine, surprisingly, despite the knowledge i lack from being from another world
gloomurai: can you elaborate on the ad part actualy
boltknight: certainly! if i finish a puzzle before the lesson is over, i timeskip to the end of the lesson
boltknight: just like in those ads
gloomurai: wtf wtf wtf
gloomurai: wb pe.
boltknight: oh pe is normal because i like pe :D
gloomurai: flight??
boltknight: flight is fun :)
gloomurai: ?????????????
gloomurai: so you have life on easy mode thats what this is
boltknight: yup! i dont have a visible guiding system either. no ooc lock or anything
boltknight: i really like being sebek zigvolt though so it wouldnt change a thing
gloomurai: yo. does this mean you can just not interfere with the overblots
boltknight: i assume so but i should still do it
boltknight: just in case yk
gloomurai: look if u ever need help w anythin then come 2 me
gloomurai: ignihyde housewarden’s got ur back
boltknight: and my found family
gloomurai: and ur found family :)
gloomurai: i rlly hope u enjoy your happy ending here dude
boltknight: i hope you enjoy yours as well :)
————
group chat: strength2swords
boltknight: hey guys, i need advice. urgently.
gloomurai: hit me
musclered: go ahead! im a little preoccupied right now but ill try my best!
boltknight: my mentor is trying to cook. my mentor uh
boltknight: their palate greatly differs from my own, and i tend to dislike the dishes they create, but i do not want to be rude to my mentor as i respect them a great amount
gloomurai: ROFL
boltknight: me and my siblings have been trying to avoid this person’s cooking because we do not know how to let them down gently
boltknight: and i respect my mentor figure so much that i am reluctant to tell them about this separation in preferences.
boltknight: but i fear i cannot tolerate their work any longer. any ideas?
gloomurai: no dice
gloomurai: @musclered you?
musclered: hm, oh what a predicament you’re in!
musclered: i suggest open communication
musclered: no need to suffer to appease someone else! especially a mentor!
musclered: rest assured, hiding someone’s weaknesses from them is not a kindness, so you should just go for it!
boltknight: ah… is that how it is? i’ll attempt it
boltknight: thank you, red!
musclered: no problem! haha, speaking of, i too am cooking right now! would you like to see?
gloomurai: yuh show
boltknight: …if you would. i am curious.
musclered has sent an image
[From an ugly top-down angle, purple-ish black sludge sits in a silver pot. The wooden(?) spoon is charred beyond recognition. Half of it is on fire actually. Chunks of mystery ingredients are scattered on the visible edge of the countertop. The countertop may or may not be on fire. The purple sludge is clearly solid in some places and watery in another. It is a disaster.]
gloomurai: oh…!
gloomurai: it looks…
gloomurai: it definitely looks!
boltknight: that is a valid interpretation of the common cooking method of putting ingredients in a pot over heat to create food! the experimental nature of this food surprises me!
musclered: it looks so yummy doesnt it 🤤 unfortunately i cant have it all to myself, i have three growing boys to feed!
gloomurai: i’m sure they’ll be grateful
boltknight: i want to see if their cooking skills take after you
boltknight: let them cook and share with the class! please, red?
musclered: not a bad idea! ohoho, i should have their schoolmates over to judge and all three of them can cook up a feast :) maybe he’ll make more friends!
gloomurai: of course! go get that food to your boys, im sure theyre hungry! :D
musclered: kehehe…
—————-
DM: gloomurai, boltknight
boltknight: fucking save me im gonna die whag the fuck is that WAHTT EHBFUCK IS THAT MUSCLERED. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO FEED ME
gloomurai: i didnt think it coukd be that bad until i saw it. frankly im scared now
boltknight: lilia: ‘hi scared im lilia’
gloomurai: peepaw vanrouge please stop the dad jokes
gloomurai: dead jokes.
boltknight: oh ha ha you aren’t that funny either
gloomurai: >XP you’re just saying that because you’re scared of eating that abomination and redirecting it to me
gloomurai: gonna take red’s advice?
boltknight: im getting silver to do it.
boltknight: the sacrifice
boltknight: also lilia is more likely to listen to silver
gloomurai: tell me how it goes… o7
boltknight: i will.
boltknight: o7
—————
gloomurai: howd it go
—————
gloomurai: uh, bolt?
—————
gloomurai: it’s been a few hours. uhhh i hope you aren’t dead
—————
gloomurai: bolt?
boltknight: it didn’t work.
gloomurai: OH YOU’RE ALIVE IM SO RELIEVED
boltknight: lilia said that tomorrow night diasomnia would host smth where all three of us have to cook
boltknight: he’s inviting all the relevant nrc students dont ask me how he knows who’s playable
boltknight: but he said ‘i don’t want this food here to go to waste so just choke it down for now!’
boltknight: crisis… somewhat averted?
boltknight: invites are gonna be sent tomorrow morning in class
boltknight: but i think i’ll pass out now
boltknight: k bye
gloomurai: …goodnight
gloomurai: ill go irl w/o tablet just for you bestie :)
————
boltknight: i just realised its the day before riddle’s overblot
boltknight: and we’re holding a banquet tonight
boltknight: do you think thatll reduce the blot?
gloomurai: likely so
gloomurai: timeline change and all
gloomurai: tbh the ob did wonders for riddle
boltknight: but everyone from heartslabyul were traumatised
boltknight: do you think i should trigger an ob tonight
gloomurai: YOU? but thatll ruin your rep with like. evry1 else if you taunt riddle openly
boltknight: no no ill just
boltknight: behave in a way which indicates to riddle that his method of going about things could be wrong
boltknight: and that’ll break him
gloomurai: do you even know how to?
boltknight: uh i was planning on improvising
gloomurai: ofc u were. gl soldier ill watch
gloomurai: ill use my hair to light a candle @ ur funeral
boltknight: thank u…
—————
boltknight: food ready
boltknight: 10 mins before it starts
boltknight: eta?
gloomurai: 5 min
gloomurai: whos there rn
boltknight: octavinelle, savanclaw, scarabia
boltknight: heartslabyul are gonna arrive directly on time
boltknight: pomefiore might come fashionably late but they may also come five mins early, same time as u
gloomurai: im surprised savanaclaw went
boltknight: ruggie wouldnt pass up free food and leona wants to make fun of malleus’ cooking
boltknight: jack wants to see vil again
gloomurai: ohh ok
gloomurai: this is gonna be so scary,, all the bosses in one room…
boltknight: dont worry, ill be there!
gloomurai: i can talk to ortho… at least i have ortho
gloomurai: im regretting showing up already
gloomurai: also why is the dress code our dorm unifs
gloomurai: ughh evry1 rlse is gna look so cool and im gonna be thr bum chud loser shutin boy ive always been
gloomurai: its doomed i tell u
boltknight: youll be alright, i can still text you
gloomurai: but i cant answer the texts because its bad manners to have phone @ table
boltknight: who gaf about manners nowadays
boltknight: some of them are gonna go feral i tell ya
boltknight: esp a select few with the dessert we’re making :)
gloomurai: oh my sevens. tell me you didnt.
boltknight: i made a strawberry tart and a chestnut tart
boltknight: for riddle rosehearts :)
gloomurai: OH MY SEVENS.
—————
Ortho walks through the ominous halls of Diasomnia while Idia follows behind. Their hair taints the darkened walls with fiery blue, gratefully illuminating the path and the tacky arrows leading them to the dining hall.
Out of courtesy, Idia opens the door for his younger brother to enter first, and he braces himself as chandelier light washes over him and brightens his vision.
The table is rectangular, that's what he notices first.
There are two chairs at the head of the table, one filled by Lilia Vanrouge, vice-housewarden. The seats to the immediate right and left are empty, and Vil Schoenheit fills the next one, glaring at Leona Kingscholar opposite to him. Next to Vil is Rook Hunt, who similarly stares down Ruggie Bucchi, while Jack and Epel greet each other with longsuffering gazes.
Pomefiore and Savanclaw.
After Jack is Jade, then Azul, then Floyd. Next to Floyd — Sevens help the poor soul who has to deal with him the entire time — is Jamil. Maybe Jamil will overblot before Riddle does. As always, Kalim is right beside him, chatting animatedly about something or other.
On the other side, playing-card patterned napkins signify the place of five Heartslabyul students, all of whom haven’t arrived yet. And at the base of the table, opposite to Lilia and Malleus’ seats, are Grim and Yuu.
That means that the two seats opposite from each other at the end of the long sides table are for Idia and Ortho.
Ortho sits next to the Heartslabyul empty spaces. Idia sits next to Kalim.
Five minutes has never felt so slow.
Everyone’s heads snap to the direction of the kitchens when an incredibly loud noise comes from there, followed by the sound of someone breathing fire(?) and subsequently a large splash of magicked water.
Idia is so fucking scared.
“BE NOT ALARMED!” Sebek sticks his head out of the kitchen to yell. “IT IS BEING HANDLED.”
Vil sighs. The beastmen cover their ears. Kalim and Rook start giggling? For some reason? Jamil sighs heavier than Vil does, and brings out a small leather bag which makes glass-against-glass collision noises. Idia presses his face against his palms.
He’s so doomed.
The doors burst open with dramatic flare, and Sebek actually runs out of the kitchen to greet Heartslabyul, flour on his apron and suspicious red on his hands. Judging by the unperturbed expressions of the other houses, he did this for the rest of the houses, save for Ignihyde. Idia is so very grateful he didn’t have all that attention on him.
“Heartslabyul! Greetings!” Sebek booms. “Your seats are this way!” He leads them to their seats, obviously the only empty seats — save for the three around Lilia, but those are obviously reserved for Diasomnia. “Refreshments are provided.”
Sebek brings out a teapot. A teapot clearly labelled ‘Earl Grey Tea’. Tea which directly contradicts that one rule from Heartslabyul that Idia can’t remember.
Riddle turns red immediately. He opens his mouth, shuts it, and glares at Lilia for some reason, as if the older man was the cause. His eyes focus back on Sebek, and Sebek keeps a calm, orderly smile on his face as he pours Riddle a cup of non-herbal tea. He stares him down. Green to red.
Idia thinks he sees Sebek’s eyes glow threateningly. Riddle flinches, and so does Idia, and the entire table has gone silent.
‘Take a drink,’ Sebek’s stare says. The dark red colour staining his hands makes everything a lot scarier.
Trembling, Riddle takes the tiniest sip of the unregulated tea.
Idia releases a breath as Sebek pours tea for the rest of Heartslabyul, before offering it to the rest of the table. None of them take it. Riddle points his wand at himself and tries to use his UM on himself, which fails. Repeated murmurings of ‘Off with my head!’ fall through.
Silver wheels out a cart of food which, admittedly, looks delicious, if Malleus Draconia himself were not accompanying. Sebek expertly serves the food on the table, eliciting approving noises from Azul and the Tweels, and extra spices are given to the Scarabia Duo who will undoubtedly drench the poor food. Idia is scared. Pomefiore gets an information list of all the nutrients in the food so they can regulate that, whatever. Savanaclaw gets most of the meat dishes.
Sebek brings a special dish over to Idia and Ortho, and it looks oddly familiar, which is weird because Idia has only ever eaten cup noodles and jelly packets his whole life.
Wait.
The colour palette is familiar. The theme is familiar. The design of the pot must reference something…
“Is this Illuga’s special dish!?” Idia exclaims, loud enough for heads to turn. His hair turns pink and he shuts up.
Sebek beams proudly. “Yes!” He confirms, “That interface wasn’t for nothing! I spent a long while practicing this dish, because I remembered Flins was your favourite character, but Flins’ special dish isn’t very… So I made the next best thing!”
“You’re my new bias,” Idia states, dead serious. “I actually love you so much, this looks so good.”
A burning glare hits Idia smack-dab in the face. He turns to see all of Diasomnia staring at him.
“Slash platonic,” Idia adds.
The glares fade.
“Remember when we assigned the TWST characters to genshin characters?” Sebek continues, whispering, “I made their special dish for them.”
“WHAT!?” Idia shouts, garnering more stares from
the cast. “What!?” He hisses quietly.
“Yeah.”
“No way.”
“Yes way.”
“WTF.”
“I must go back to fulfil my duties now, Idia Shroud of Ignihyde!”
“Fuck— Bye!?”
Sebek happily trots off. Idia sighs and whips out his phone.
————
gloomurai: WHAT THE FUCK MAN
boltknight: sorryyyy can’t speak rn im eating
gloomurai: i hope riddle gets you
gloomurai: i hope lilia immediately figures out whats up when you ragebait riddle into overblotting
gloomurai: i hope malleus senses that riddle overblots and goes out to help you only to find a stranger in the body of his youngest brother
gloomurai: i hope you DIE and silver has to watch it happen
boltknight: what can i say? im just a silly lil guy <3
gloomurai: keep yourself safe!
boltknight: you know i always do <3
gloomurai: AAAAAAASKSJFJGJDHFHSHSJKA
boltknight: heh 😼
—————
Everyone digs into their food with gusto. Idia catches a whiff of the monstrosity Kalim created with the extra spices and he almost chokes. Ace and Deuce are squabbling, while Cater is taking pics, and Trey is just there. Riddle seethes.
Sebek has been directing his future ragebaiting efforts to Idia instead of Riddle, but the food is so good that he can’t bring himself to be mad about it. He simply chooses to ignore it. The silent truce between the houses at this table feels like an impossibility, but it’s happening and it’s real. Leona passes salt to Rook. Jade hands a mushroom to Deuce. It’s good.
The lively atmosphere doesn’t feel like it’s going to die down anytime soon. It warms up the usually chilly Diasomnia with bright laughter and the scent of good eats, and it feels like the post-climax celebration after defeating the main villain.
He has to give credit to Sebek, Silver, Malleus, and Lilia. Everything’s going amazingly well.
That is, until the plates are empty.
Lilia declares something about dessert, and Silver and Sebek wheel out another cart. Then, they start to serve. This is when things go wrong.
See, everybody gets dessert. Cater makes a shocked face when he gets something less sweet but magicammable. Their preferences are accounted for.
Ace, Deuce, Cater, and Trey’s eyes widen as they spot the familiar tart being served to their housewarden. By Sebek.
Idia prepares his camera.
“A… chestnut tart?” Riddle asks, as if the item in front of him is not obviously a tart of the chestnut variety. His tone is measured, clearly teetering on the precipice of anger he cannot come back from.
“That is correct!” Sebek agrees.
“A chestnut tart!!” Riddle yells, brandishing his mage pen. Ace and Deuce flinch, clearly still feeling the after effects of Riddle’s UM on them. From the corner of his eye, Idia sees Silver and Lilia stand. Thunder strikes outside.
Riddle rises slowly, then turns to face Sebek. It’s really funny because Riddle has to crane his neck to see him. Sebek crosses his arms and glares, bracing for his eardrums to ring.
See, Sebek has been not-so-subtly haunting Riddle from the very beginning. And Riddle, uptight Riddle, starts naming every single violation of the rules.
Grim’s presence. Rule #23, no cats at formal affairs.
There were tarts offered previously, at a place on the table where they could not be reached by Riddle. He had to watch others violate rule #89, to never eat a tart without the Queen’s permission.
At the beginning of this debacle, rule #153 was broken: The only tea you may drink in the evenings is herbal tea. Earl grey is not herbal. Riddle drank it. It is the evening.
The decor on the table is quite interesting as well. Malleus declared that the flowers were picked from Diasomnia’s garden, even though it is a Wednesday. That violates rule #228.
People eat at different paces. Riddle saw others complete their meals, but stay at the table for over 15 minutes, which is in violation of rule #271, nor did they drink lemon tea with two sugar cubes, as is the post-meal drink standardised by rule #339.
Theoretically, if this were a party for new friends, it would also violate rule #469, as the decorations do not include both red and white roses. Thankfully this is not.
It is a full moon however, and according to rule #529, if steak is eaten on the night of a full moon, a cat must play the violin afterwards. Steak has been consumed. A cat has not played the violin.
In actuality, as this is not an unbirthday party, bringing a chestnut tart would not violate rule #562. Unfortunately, Riddle has been so riled up by this flagrant disregard of Heartslabyul traditions that he cares not about the circumstances, but rather the implications.
“—And now, you dare serve a chestnut tart!?” Riddle all but screeches in Sebek’s face. He pants, rose-red, waiting for an answer.
Sebek happily supplies one. In an equally loud voice, he yells back, “You cannot enforce rules which do not apply in this dormitory! We are in Diasomnia, not Heartslabyul! Your word is not law!”
Riddle is losing it now. His pen is brandished once again with a white-knuckled grip, generating magic at the tip of it, ready to cast point-blank at Sebek. The magestone rapidly darkens.
“Riddle!” Trey yells warningly. It doesn’t reach deaf ears, as the blood rushing through Riddle’s head would be enough to block out anything but his own thoughts. Talk about an echo-chamber. Empty and righteous.
Sebek is smarter than that. Fast as a blink, he grabs Riddle’s hand and twists it so his pen faces himself. With no way to overpower Sebek’s physical strength, Riddle either has to stop casting or hurt himself.
Idia wonders why none of the other housewardens are interfering. Maybe the author doesn’t know how to write multiple characters in one scene.
“Now, now,” Lilia interjects, separating the two with a surprisingly forceful shove apart. “Boys. Do not squabble.”
Thank you, Musclered. Idia will split the loot 70:30 to him in their next dungeon run.
“Riddle,” Lilia says, turning to the boy, “Sebek is right.”
NVM. It’s joever. Riddle is turning red again. And just after the shove knocked him out of his spell!
Riddle inhales sharply through gritted teeth. “But… I’m right! I’M the one who is right!”
No, he is not.
“There is NO! POSSIBLE! ALTERNATIVE!” Riddle screams, the blot sloshing like a tidal wave as it overcomes his form.
Trey shouts, “Riddle, stop!”
Bit too late for that, bud.
How embarrassing would it be to overblot in front of all your housewarden peers, at a dinner hosted by Malleus Draconia himself, because you couldn’t figure out your tyranny in front of multiple other rulers? Ask Riddle Rosehearts. Hey, at least his form is drippy. Vil hums in consideration of the fashion choice.
Lilia grabs Sebek and takes him back to Malleus and Silver, the former of which is raising a hand to silence Riddle.
————
boltknight: imm s o cracked at thths ragebaiting thing
boltknight: lmao get my funny joke? because you have to break the glass to dfeat the monster
————
“Break the glass thing,” Idia feeds to Ortho, who projects it louder. Malleus gladly complies, summoning a bolt of lightning which cuts the perceived battle time short. Perks of having a top five mage.
“This is way more efficient than cauldrons,” Ace mumbles. Deuce whacks him upside the head. “Hey!”
Riddle falls, but is caught by Trey, who lays him gently on the floor in the recovery position. Luckily, he wakes up fast.
“Ow, my head…” he says, which is a valid reaction to getting struck by lightning.
Sebek storms over, wiping ink off of his cheek. “Rosehearts! Have you come to your senses!?”
Riddle’s eyes widen. “Yes, I have… I am so sorry… I deeply and sincerely apologise…” His voice goes quiet and meek, and tears fill his eyes.
“Hmph! Good. Refrain from speaking such nonsense next time!” Brash and straightforward as always, Sebek ignores the overblot. “If you wish for a different dish, you need only ask for accommodation!” Sebek declares. “Now sit back down.”
Riddle gets up on shaky legs, holding onto Trey for support, and plops right back down in his seat. He would normally spill his deepest darkest thoughts at this time, but the amount of people around him makes vulnerability terrifying.
He gasps.
On his plate, along with the chestnut tart from earlier, is a strawberry tart.
He cries a little while eating. Nobody else mentions it, too preoccupied with their own desserts.
————
gloomurai: ur actually deranged how did that WORK
boltknight: Scrum diddly umptious yum yum yum!
gloomurai: i didnt find ur earlier joke funny btw
boltknight: FUCK you.
boltknight: im gonna make you ob next
boltknight: instead of leona
gloomurai: u wont bitch
boltknight: fine i wont but STILL
boltknight: aaaaagh do you think ace and deuce are still gonna challenge riddle to a duel?
gloomurai: no, i think the ob worked to dissuade them
gloomurai: and the dinner settled their heightened emotions
gloomurai: is this ur new tactic for dealing with overblots?
gloomurai: invite everyone over for dinner and use the power of Peers Being There to ignore all the sappy emotional trauma shit?
boltknight: ya basically
boltknight: look they can deal with their emotions back in their dorms
boltknight: when im not involved
boltknight: i’m very very bad with dealing w emotions
gloomurai: yeah we can tell mr ‘now sit back down’
boltknight: ughhh die
boltknight: speaking of dying
boltknight: fuck r we gonna do about leona’s ob?
gloomurai: motherfucker who is WE?
—————
Group Chat: strength2swords
musclered: @gloomurai @boltknight boy do I have a story to tell you.