Work Text:
el gordonito: theyre coming over [10:03]
el gordonito: told me not 2 warn u but [10:04]
el gordonito: omega solidarity or smth like that [10:04]
—
Earlier that morning, Jude had been woken up that morning to probably the best feeling he’d had in a while, of strong arms wrapped around him, his back tucked against a firm chest, feeling fully rested and awake.
He yawned, wriggling in the hold, and felt the arms around him tighten.
“Lyng?” he mumbled, turning his head.
“Good morning,” Erling replied, not letting go.
“That your thigh or your dick?” Jude asked, pressing himself backwards. It was meant to just be teasing, until Erling groaned and thrusted up into the pressure, and Jude couldn’t help but roll his eyes fondly.
“You’re so fucking horny,” Jude grinned, repeating the motion again. Erling shifted behind him, pressing himself forward, rutting lazily into the crack of Jude’s ass. One hand came down to his shorts, teasing at the waistband, until Jude grabbed his wrist and shoved the rest of his hand down his pants.
“‘S too early to be teasing,” he complained, letting out a low noise when Erling squeezed his hand around his cock, already half-hard.
Erling hummed in response, letting his breath ghost over Jude’s neck, sending shivers up his spine. He drew his hand out and held it in front of Jude’s mouth, tapping his jaw once. Understanding ran through them without the need for words, and Jude spat into his palm, pulling down the front of his pants for good measure.
Returning his hand to Jude’s cock, now fully hard, he picked up the pace, running his hand faster and with more pressure as he ground up in the same rhythm.
“Erling,” Jude whined, arching into the touch.
“Jude,” came the low reply, Erling’s labored breathing behind his ear. They were both close, he could feel it, and Jude’s ass rocking back onto his cock provided such delicious pleasure that Erling couldn’t help but moan, his hips stuttering.
“Ah, ‘m gonna come, Erling—”
“Come for me, Jude,” Erling said, and the words were enough to send Jude crashing over the edge, his sweet moans filling the room. Erling followed just a few thrusts after, muffling his groan with a bite into the crook of Jude’s neck. Breathing hard, the two of them stay like that for a while, Erling sucking light marks down his neck and shoulders.
“Who’s the horny one now?”
“You’re literally leaving marks everywhere.”
“But I am not the one begging for more.”
“I’m not begging!”
“Mhm.”
“Fuck off, you giant oaf.”
“Your giant oaf.”
“Yeah. Mine. Now get up, unless you want to do my laundry and clean the cum off of my sheets.”
“I have a feeling I will be doing that anyway.”
—
The clock reads 11:00, but the clock is fast by a couple minutes, and Jude’s never known how to fix things like that, so he’s just learned to live with it. They’re sitting at the counter, enjoying a simple breakfast of whatever non-expired food Erling could scrounge up from Jude’s kitchen, when the sound of the gate opening makes them both look up in confusion.
“You expecting visitors?” Erling asks, moving away from the counter.
“No, not that I know of,” Jude replies, concerned. He tiptoes over to the camera thing he has, clicking through security footage until he lands on the one showing what’s out in his yard, and sees the blurry footage of six people sneaking through his yard, and lets out a panicked gasp.
“It’s the lads,” he announces, and Erling immediately looks around like he’s going to get ambushed.
“What— what do you want me to do?” he asks, and Jude turns back to the footage. He could have Erling sneak out the back door, except for the fact that he lost the key to that ages ago and that’s why it’s not been in use. He could ask Erling to jump out the window on the second floor—okay, no, that’s stupid. He can’t ask his boyfriend to jump out a window for him.
“Uh…go to the second floor, and, um, hide somewhere.” He makes a shooing motion with his hands as he watches his friends get closer. “Anywhere!”
Erling doesn’t hesitate, and takes off towards the stairs just in time for the door to burst open, the entourage led by Declan Rice, followed by everyone else who was in the car last night.
“Cheers, mate,” Declan greets him, holding out a hand for Jude to dap up. Jude smacks it away, glaring at everyone as they file into his house.
“You can’t just barge into someone’s house like that,” he protests, shoving Declan lightly. Declan shoves back, and the two start tussling in the middle of the room, much to the amusement of everyone else. For a moment, Jude seems to be winning, until Declan flips him over and yanks at his shirt, knocking Jude off balance. In retaliation, Jude grabs onto his shoulder to keep him up, sending them both barreling to the ground.
“Oi, mate, let go!” Declan yelps, scrambling to sit up. Jude doesn’t let him, pivoting in a way that keeps Declan on the floor, until he’s sat on Declan’s back, the latter flat on the ground in defeat.
“Absolute children, you lot,” Harry scolds them, and both of them turn to their captain looking incredibly offended.
“He started it!” Jude protested.
“I did not! You shoved me first!” Declan retorted.
“Right, and you broke into my house.”
“It’s not breaking in if we’ve got the key.”
“He’s right about that,” Morgan comments, and all heads turn to the guy rifling through Jude’s fridge. “Mate, you’ve got absolutely nothing in here. How the hell did you make such a decent looking breakfast? Last I checked, you can’t even cook.”
“You can’t come into my house just to insult me,” Jude grumbles, poking Declan in the ribs.
“Fuck, what was that for?”
“Morgs’s being a prick.”
“Then go poke him? What’re you pokin’ me for?”
“You’re closer.”
“Jude, why have you got two plates out?” Bukayo’s voice cuts through their bickering, and everyone falls silent.
Shit, Jude thinks. Fuck.
“Um,” he replies, mind spinning as he tries to come up with an answer. “I was…really hungry?”
“Cut the shit, mate, I doubt you even made this,” Morgan says, and everyone has to agree with that.
“He’s got a point,” Nico says, looking at him like he knows something no one else does.
Jude looks to Anthony for help, the one person who hasn’t said anything since he got here, and is met with amused silence. You dug yourself into this hole, now you’ve got to find a way out yourself, he seemed to say.
“You don’t have to be shy,” Harry says, but there’s an edge to his voice that Jude has no idea why it would be there. “C’mon, we’re not gonna make fun of you if you’re seeing someone.
“This the taxi driver from last night there, innit?” Declan asks from beneath Jude, which earns him another sharp poke. “Ow! Okay, I’ll stop.”
Everyone’s eyes are on him now as Jude flails for a proper response, and the silence that settles is expectant in a way that Jude doesn’t know how to fulfill.
“Lads, y’know what I’ve just realized?” Morgan pipes up, and Jude is half thankful his friend has broken the silence, half dreading what the realization is. “Whoever the girlfriend is, she’s probably not left the house.”
“I’m going to cut your balls off,” Jude threatens.
“There’s six of us and one of you, mate. I don’t think you’re in the position to be cutting anyone’s balls off,” Bukayo points out unhelpfully.
“Hasn’t he got a back door?” Anthony asks, and Jude remembers a conversation with Morgan that he really wished he hadn’t had. If he doesn’t remember it, maybe Jude’ll have a path out of this dreadful situation—
“Nah. He was complaining to me recently about losing that key, and knowing him, he’s not getting that back unless his mum’s stopped by, and if she did, we’d know.”
Shit, okay, um, time for plan B.
There was no plan B.
“Me and the Skip can take the first floor. I reckon there’s not many hiding spots in this house that we haven’t found, right lad?” Morgan directs that last part to him, walking away before Jude can open his mouth to give an answer, which probably would’ve been just an expletive or two.
“I warned you,” Anthony shrugs, and Jude furrows his brow at the guy.
“The fuck do you mean?” Jude demands, but Anthony’s already walking away to join the rest of the search party on the second floor.
“You’re proper cooked, mate,” Declan says, much to Jude’s frustration, and Jude kicks him in the rib for that. “Y’know, you can tell me. Everyone’s gone. I won’t make fun of you, promise.”
“Like hell you won’t.”
“I mean, they’re gonna find her anyway. There’s not really getting 'round that.”
And it’s not like Jude thinks they’re going to mock him, or kick him out of the team for dating a man, or anything drastic like that. He’s known these lads for years, some of them even longer, and he knows they’re decent human beings, so he’s not really sure what he’s so afraid of. Maybe that they’ll treat him differently, even if it’s not in a hostile way. Maybe they’ll stop trusting him with team secrets if they knew he was dating their opponents.
He thinks of Erling, of how he’d always been okay with putting their relationship out there, even when he'd just moved to Manchester City and their relationship was brand new. Erling had never felt the need to hide this part of him, but for Jude, and for their careers, he’d agreed. But this…this witch hunt, and Jude being unsure if Erling even knew they were searching for him—although with the racket they were probably causing, it would be fairly obvious soon—it scared him a little.
The worst could still happen. You never really know what a person thinks, and even if they hide it well, prejudices run deep. He could end up ostracized. He remembers locker room conversations, of teammates carelessly telling others to stop being so queer, and even though that was a different time, with different people, he’s not so oblivious as to be unaware of the stigma around gay athletes, especially for such a rough contact sport.
“Mate, you alright?” Declan asked, his tone different. “If you really don’t want us to find out, we won’t push it. But you know we’ll accept her anyway, right?”
“‘S not that,” Jude replies, and his voice sounds hoarse even to him. Declan shifts his weight and rolls out from underneath Jude, coming to sit beside him, his arm landing over his shoulders.
“What’s on your mind, Jude?”
“Nothing,” Jude dismisses him, and Declan doesn’t look like he believes him. That’s to be expected, considering Jude doesn’t even feel like he’s convinced himself. But the rest of the group is still stomping around his house, even if Harry notices that Jude’s looking dejectedly at the floor and sits down on the couch, simply looking at him.
“D’you want me to call them back?” Harry says after a while, and Jude blinks up at him.
“Nah. I’m not…it’s not…I wanted to tell you someday. Swear. On my mum.”
“Alright, listen, lad,” Harry starts, getting up and crouching down beside him. “I know—” he spares a glance at Declan, who Does Not Know™, then back at Jude, “—that you had something going on with…someone. England versus Norway ring a bell?”
Jude ignores Declan’s jaw dropping beside him, mostly because he’s got the same reaction.
“And so, if this is what I think it is, then none of us will judge you for it. I think we’ve all suspected for a while now.”
“Who’s we?” Declan interrupts, and it’s just then that Morgan comes back into the space they’re all in, sees the captain and vice captain huddled on the floor, and joins the conversation.
“What’s wrong, Jude?” he asks.
“Mate, you’ve got to hear what Skipper’s on about,” Declan says, disbelievingly.
“But,” Harry pushes on, ignoring the both of them and focusing on Jude, “if it’s not, then we’re going to have some questions. Again, if it’s who I think it is, then trust me when I say none of us will be surprised.”
“I’m surprised!” Declan protests indignantly, eyes darting between Morgan who looks like he’s just now understanding, and Harry, who’s ignoring his shocked expression and staring only at Jude.
“Not the time, mate,” Morgan nudges him, and Declan rolls his eyes but falls silent anyway.
“Yeah, I—how’d you know?” is the first question Jude asks, to which Harry cracks a relieved smile and visibly relaxes.
“Jude, I stay in the room next to you.”
Jude flushes bright red and curls his knees up to his chest, burying his face to not have to look at his captain.
“Right…so we’re fine?” Declan asks, patting Jude on the shoulder.
“Yep,” Harry announces, brushing his knees off as he stands up.
“Okay. Will someone fill me in?”
“Jude can, once the others return,” Morgan tells him, clapping him on the back. “Don’t worry, Dec. It’ll all make sense.”
Declan stares after him with a bewildered expression, not knowing what to do now.
“Go get him, Jude.” Harry nudges him with his foot, and Jude sprints for the stairs.
“You’d think he was up against Mexico again, the way he runs to him,” Morgan comments.
“Who?”
“You'll get it someday.”
—
Erling’s on the roof. He’s not sure how that happened, only that he heard people coming up the stairs, decided that hiding behind a table wasn’t the best course of action any longer, and climbed onto the window frame and hoisted himself up onto the roof. He can hear his Manchester City teammate rifling through Jude’s room, and prays he’s not so observant as to notice the way the window's slightly ajar.
“Ant, you find anyone?” Nico calls, and Erling has to cover his mouth to keep from laughing. It looks like a scene straight out of an action movie, where the protagonist is pressed up against an alleyway as their enemies are conspiring right around the corner.
“Nope.” comes Anthony’s reply. He sounds more distant, which means he’s probably not in the room. Erling wonders how Jude’s holding up. He imagines Jude trying to not spill everything, or give anything away, and thinks about Jude’s reluctance to let them go public.
Erling gets it. He’s seen his fair share of homophobia, both from teammates and from fans, and right when their careers are at a high point, it’s ill-advised to do anything to disrupt that. But Erling’s a very honest person. He’s built a sort of persona around being true to himself and being honest, so it feels sort of hypocritical to then go and hide such a big part of his life from the public. But hey, that’s life, and Erling knows the best out of anyone to not take life too seriously.
“D’you think it’s Erling?” Nico says, which catches his attention immediately.
“You reckon?” Anthony replies, followed by the sound of pillows smacking onto the bed. Suddenly, he’s very glad they cleaned up after themselves immediately.
“I mean, wouldn’t be too far off. There’s blond hair on the pillow.”
He hears Anthony snicker, followed by Nico, and the sound of the blanket being moved.
“Yeah, they did something on this bed. I can smell it.”
“Pause. What?”
“The scent of sex.”
“You’re taking the piss.”
“No, I’m serious. There’s a certain quality to air that’s been exposed to sex.”
“I think it’s just the cum, mate.”
“What’s your obsession with cum?”
“It’s the most logical answer.”
“I guess, man.”
“What the fuck are you two on about?” That’s Bukayo’s voice, clear confusion in it, and it sends the other two into a fit of laughter. Erling can’t help but laugh along, muffling himself as best he can. “I’m walking by and all I hear is sex and cum? Have you lot lost it?”
“Wait, stop,” Nico says, and for a moment, Erling thinks he’s been caught. That somehow, they heard his laughter through a hand and a door, and now he’s going to have to find a way down the roof and back onto the balcony without breaking a limb.
“That’s Erling’s suitcase.”
…
Right. His suitcase is out in the open, and his teammate, who’s seen his suitcase on multiple occasions, is in the room. Erling could kick himself if he wasn’t afraid of falling.
“Erling…Haaland?” Bukayo asks slowly.
“My Manchester City teammate, Erling Haaland,” Nico confirms.
“I fucking called it. Dec owes me so much money right now.”
“Dec bet against Haaland? That’s mad, that.”
“I mean, we weren’t sure either, were we?”
“Yeah, but who else would it be?”
The room falls into silence, and Erling contemplates trying to get down now. The jig was up, and the longer he stayed up here, the more the dread of tumbling down and breaking his neck grew.
Suddenly, his phone rings from inside his pocket, and he takes it out to see none other than Nico calling him. Sighing, he accepts the call.
“Erling, mate, where are you right now?” Nico asks, and the echo of his voice coming in through Erling’s microphone as well as the phone’s speaker bounce off of each other, and the entire group on the other side of the phone bursts into hushed giggles.
“Mate, I can hear myself from your phone,” Nico whispers this time.
“Yeah…I know,” Erling replies, suddenly a little shy.
“Where are you hiding?”
“Window. Roof. I don’t know how I’m going to get down.”
More hushed laughter comes through, the microphone getting all staticky with how much they’re breathing into it.
“You mouthbreathers, my god,” Erling grumbles, glad to have something to insult them with.
“Sorry, we—you climbed out the balcony to hide from us?”
“Yes.”
“Aw mate, you’re never hearing the end of that.”
“End of what? Who’re you lot giggling to?”
“Is that Jude??” Erling asks, but the call is cut off abruptly, and Erling almost just leaps down before realizing he can just eavesdrop like he’s been doing.
“Nice suitcase you’ve got, mate,” Bukayo says, and there comes no audible reply from Jude.
“Nice blond hair you’ve got,” Nico adds.
“This is starting to sound like Little Red Riding Hood,” Jude says.
“You’re gonna need a ladder, I think,” Anthony says. Instantly, there’s a clamor of shouting at Anthony for not continuing the chain, Jude included, and Erling feels his heart grow just a little bit fuller at the fact that Jude doesn’t seem to mind the reveal all that much.
A couple minutes later, Jude’s outside with a ladder, and Erling gratefully climbs down to the yard below.
“Hey.
“Hey.”
“So…” Jude begins, trailing off when he doesn’t know what else to say.
“I think it went well,” Erling tells him, giving him an awkward thumbs up.
“Dec doesn’t know yet. Apparently, Harry’s known for a while, at least since the match against Norway, and everyone else told me they had suspected for a while,” Jude blurts out, and realizes then that his hands are shaking.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Erling tells him, grabbing Jude’s hands so gently and holding them. Jude looks up at him, and there’s just a sliver of fear in there, a flicker of doubt, and without thinking, Erling draws him closer and pulls him into a kiss. Jude falls into it easily, allowing him to do as he wanted, and when he pulled away, Jude chased him for a moment before he caught himself.
“You’ve got nothing to be worried about, hm? I’ll always be there for you, and you know these lads. They’ve got your back.”
“Yeah, but it’s the fear of…of coming out, I guess. Actually saying it. They can infer all they want, but if it’s coming from my mouth, then it’s really real. No amount of…of plausible deniability or anything can change that.”
“Are you ashamed of our relationship?” Erling asks, and Jude immediately shakes his head.
“Of course not.”
“Then why does it matter if it’s real?”
“I—I dunno, to be honest. I’m just scared.”
“We’re gonna have to go in there sometime.”
Jude sucks in a deep breath, and exhales. “Fuck it, let’s go.”
He’s unlocking the door and pushing it in before he can think about it, and Erling scrambles to follow him. The two of them enter to meet six expectant faces, four of whom nod like they were expecting this all along. Anthony looks at Declan, face smug, hand out. Declan slaps a twenty pound bill into his outstretched hand, jaw somehow dropped even further than before.
“Cheers,” Jude says, not knowing what else to say.
“Hello, this is my boyfriend Jude, I am his boyfriend Erling, we are dating, thank you,” Erling says, and Jude can’t help but scoff, eyebrows seeming to say I can’t believe you just said that.
“Can I just say I called it?” Nico says, side-eyeing Erling in particular. “You lied at Truth or Dare for this.”
“I didn’t lie, I said there was no girl,” Erling points out, to which Nico does a horrible imitation of him in response.
“Congrats,” Harry says, bringing his hands up for a slow clap. Everyone joins in, even shellshocked Declan, who still looks like his brain is trying to catch up with this. “It’s nice to finally be able to talk about it.”
“How long have you known?” Jude demands, and Harry lets out a long sigh.
“Champions League 23-24, lad. Came up to your room about the upcoming match and got an earful of things that haunt me to this day.”
“Oh my god, ew, I didn’t need to know that,” Morgan says immediately, getting up. “Come on, let’s go do something fun. I’ve heard more about Jude’s sex life than I ever wanted to know.”
“I second that,” Bukayo agrees.
“I’m still stuck on the ‘everyone knew but didn’t say anything’ bit.”
“Dec, honestly, when it comes to relationships, you’re about as observant as a rock.” Anthony points out.
“Am not!”
“Yeah, and that’s why you’re down 20 pounds, mate.”
“I can’t believe you guys bet on this,” Jude grumbles.
“I was right though, innit?"
—
el cinco: bit late innit [00:34]
el gordonito: im literally 2 seats away from u [00:35]
el gordonito: also that was perfectly timed [00:35]
el cinco: wtv [00:35]
el gordonito: not my fault u were too busy fucking him to see [00:36]
el cinco: wasnt fucking him [00:36]
el gordonito: ok so other way around [00:36]
el cinco: WE WERENT FUCKING [00:36]
el gordonito: mhm [00:36]
el cinco: u gonna fill me in on the other bets too or do i have to figure that out myself [00:37]
el gordonito: im not that much of a snitch [00:37]
el cinco: right [00:38]