Work Text:
‹
gym bros›
Today 10:37 PM
guys the gym reopens tmrw
Troy 
thank fuck. maybe you'll stop bothering us now
stfu. 7am tmrw, everyone good?
Cliff
damn ilya, can't we just wait a little? it's gonna be packed
they've had it closed for a month for shitty renovations, i'm not waiting another day
Luca 
i'll be there at 7
Troy
8? so i can get some sleep
7
Troy
**
‹
rose›
Today 2:49 PM
i should've never listened to you
what did i do now???
this new place is fucking AWFUL
but you told me the pay is better
it's not worth a conviction for manslaughter
they put big lights everywhere rose
everywhere
in the yoga studio too???
YES
that's insane what 😭
you know what i think your problem is? you got too used to work from home
happened to the best of us back in '20
bullshit
i just don't understand the point of even asking. Do you know we had to fill out a giant questionnaire asking us all what kind of improvements we wanted? and all that for what??
now it's big lights every fucking where, we don't even have a staff locker room anymore because they're still working on it, and now i got to deal with those fuck ass gym rats and their fucking music. But guess what, now we got a fucking sauna, so nothing else matters, right?
sorry i needed to get it out
dw babe i get it
maybe things are just wonky for now bc everyone is trying to make it work?
doubtful
**
‹
sveta›
Today 11:31 AM
wtf happened to the gym
what do you mean?
everything's moved???
yeah they rearranged the whole floor
why the fuck are the yoga and pilates classes right next to the weights now???
oh 😂
i don't see what's so funny
how am i supposed to focus with your shitty classes right next to me?
stop complaining, you can still do your workouts just fine
come take a class sometime. you'll see, it's actually really good
absolutely fucking not
we have a great instructor
everyone's in love with him
i don't give a fuck
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‹
Unknown Number›
Today 5:04 PM
Hi, this is Shane Hollander, the yoga and pilates instructor at the gym. I got your number from your girlfriend Svetlana Vetrova, who takes my classes.
Some people in the group have been complaining that your music is really loud, and we can hear the weights being dropped during our classes. It's pretty distracting for everyone.
dude first of all, sveta's not my girlfriend
second, if they put your studio next to our weight room, deal with it or ask them to move you
we were here first
that's your response?
yeah
right. good to know who i'm dealing with. thanks
no problem
**
‹
gym bros›
Today 9:14 PM
Troy
NO FUCKING WAY 😭
Cliff
dude 💀
Luca
oh shit
Troy
you actually told him to move his studio 😭
Cliff
"we were here first" LMAOOO
maybe we should be a little more careful tho? we're gonna get kicked out
Luca
i can talk to him next time i see him if you want
Cliff
mmh bad idea buddy
yeah, listen to cliff
he won't bother us again, don't worry. i'll handle it
Troy
**
‹
rose›
Today 3:17 PM
look at this asshole
what if i start losing people over this?
shane that's not gonna happen
everybody's in love with you
that's not true
you know it is
your classes are always packed
people just like yoga
uhh i don't think people like yoga that much?
are you fucking serious rn
i'm kidding!!!
go talk to him next time, maybe he'll be less of an asshole in person than he is over text
doubt it
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‹
russian dickhead›
Today 2:58 PM
you like that one?
Today 3:17 PM
wtf did you snitch up on me? security guy came all the way up here you psycho
i didn't but i'm glad somebody else did.
ever heard of snitches get stitches
what are you gonna do, throw a dumbbell in the studio window?
i just might
you don't even have the core strength for that
are you fucking kidding me
i have all the core strength i need to kick your fucking ass
so that's a no on the dumbbell
literally fuck you
oh wow. never seen one of these before.
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‹
gym bros›
Today 9:48 PM
Cliff
you good Roz?
?
ofc i'm good
why
Troy
idk you knocked your ankle pretty bad this morning
i am fine
this wouldn't have happened in our old weightroom, is all
Troy
true bc you wouldn't be staring at a piece of ass all the fucking time
?? wtf are you on
Cliff
roz cmon
don't roz me im just staring bc they are a bunch of stupid ppl doing whatever with their body. is just weird and very unnatural
Troy
right
i'm still gonna stick to marly as my spotter tho
i don't want to suffocate to death bc you're too busy looking over at wtf the neighbors are doing
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‹
rose›
Today 10:37 AM
rose i think i'm gonna quit
it's the same asshole who told me to fuck off when i asked him to keep the noise down
he keep staring at my classes
and i think he's taking pictures??
wow
he looks hot tho
THAT'S NOT THE POINT???
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‹
Russian Dickhead›
Tuesday 9:21 PM
that's what i call arms
Wednesday 7:45 PM
Thursday 7:34 PM
dinner time
what are you eating?
im sure you eat boring bird food
Thursday 11:02 PM
goodnight
Today 10:56 AM
omg stop staring at my classes
you're gonna freak everyone out you creep
oh look at that, he finally replies
fuck off i'm working
you should lift your hips higher
da just like that
damn you're pretty flexible
hollander?
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‹
russian dickhead›
Today 8:24 AM
see that is what real workout looks like
all i can see is that you skipped leg day a bunch of times
don't think i can't see you flexing like crazy
whatever helps you sleep.
**
‹
russian dickhead›
Thursday 6:17 PM
that's you last time you attempted a pushup
Friday 7:47 AM
oh so now you are too good to reply?
i knew i was right
is okay hollander, i can teach you
everyone has their weaknesses it is okay to admit you need my help
ever tried 300?
lots of things i haven't tried but i still know i'd make it so good ;)
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‹
russian dickhead›
Today 7:39 PM
i can see something healthy i'd like to eat for sure
this is stalking.
is it stalking if you use the same name everywhere
it's called branding.
you like mine?
i wouldn't call that healthy.
you just need a better look
healthy as a horse i think they say?
good thing i like to be ridden hard
**
‹
russian dickhead›
Today 9:11 PM
you busy?
come on you can do better than that
send another one
Today 8:36 PM
please
fuck
come on just one more pic
don't leave me like this
fuvk
shane
**
‹
rose›
Today 10:16 AM
this guy is either a narcissist or a glutton for punishment
who?
wait still your hot gymbro creep?
the fact you think hot makes up for everything else explains so much about your dating choices
okay MEAN
come on you said so yourself he IS hot
yes
he's also a giant asshole who keeps spamming me with his stupid ass pics
he's still doing that????
well yeah
i thought he'd stopped
hold ON
oh my god
omgomgomggggg
they're nudes aren't they
THEYRE NUDES ARENT THEY
i'm not telling you that
if anything ONE of us needs to have boundaries
SCREW BOUNDARIES if he's spamming you with dick pics i volunteer to share that burden
i'm blocking you.
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‹
russian dickhead›
Today 2:10 PM
how do i book one of your yoga classes? i wanna try it
no
okay, pilates then
no
why not?
because it's mostly moms and older people
we don't need you and your giant muscles
so you're banning me?
i'm saving everyone an hour of complaining
scared i'll be better than you?
or is it because you won't be able to concentrate with me there?
you should be thanking me, you'd embarrass yourself
yoga is harder than you think
fuck off
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‹
gym bros›
Today 2:39 PM
Troy
guys
the hot yoga teacher is in the weight room
Cliff
NO WAY
???????
Luca
fuck
Cliff
dude is fucking jacked
Troy
bro has been hiding all that under yoga clothes
you sure that's him?
Troy
100%
no way
Luca
YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES
stop looking at him
Troy
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‹
yoga boy 🔞›
Today 11:58 AM
i thought weightlifting wasn't a real sport
yet you're in the weight room when i'm not here
?? how do you know i was there?
i have my sources
you're such a creep
what did you even work on?
why would i tell you
cmon
send me a pic
of what?
whatever you worked on
fuck i want to eat it
hollander
id make it so good
no.
??? why not???
bc i didn't know this was an option and i'm pretty sure i'm not supposed to be doing whatever this is with my clients.
does that mean i can come in and watch you do boring yoga?
aren't you already doing that for free
i thought you wanted me to stop?
you like that i watch you, admit it
goodbye.
**
‹
gym bros›
Today 9:57 AM
Troy
guys do you see this????
Cliff
???
Troy
yoga class
Cliff
is that luca???
????????
you guys are at the gym without me?
Troy
dude, you're at work
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT LUCA AND YOGA WHATS GOING ON
Troy
bro luca is doing the yoga class lmaooooo
WHAT
Cliff
he's actually doing pretty well too 💀
why the fuck is he taking a yoga class
Troy
apparently he wanted to try it
since when??
Troy
idk man ask him
and you two just let him??
Cliff
lmao what were we supposed to do 😭
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‹
yoga boy 🔞›
Today 11:03 AM
so you let my buddy luca into your classes but i can go fuck myself?
pretty much yeah 😁
he's pretty hot though
and surprisingly flexible
i know what you are doing
you're just trying to piss me off but you're just really scared that you won't be able to stay professional if i'm around
no
yes
no.
yes. is okay to get hard hollander, won't be the first boner to pop when i walk into a room
this is delusion. you are delusional.
prove it :)
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Luca›
Today 11:12 AM
explain
listen i just wanted to try ONE class
well you tried. don't do it again
wanna fuck the yoga instructor or something?
OMG NO
no wtf i would never
i mean, i get it, he's pretty attractive
like, objectively, i can see why people are into him
okay that's enough
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‹
yoga boy 🔞›
Today 11:06 PM
you actually booked a private session???
told you you'd regret not letting me into your class
see you tomorrow, shane
can't wait
are you for real
at 10pm?????
;)
no one will bother us
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‹
rose›
Today 1:34 AM
rose
rose
rose it's an emergency
are u awake
rose i messed up
what's wrong
i fucked up so bad
shane eating a brownie isn't going to affect your whole diet i promise
we can look up healthy recipes tomorrow i heard people use zucchinis? or something
rose i fucked ilya
well no i let him fuck me
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‹
Unknown Number›
Today 8:21 AM
hey, shane right?
yes?
Ryan Price? from security?
oh, hi. Is everything okay?
is this about my staff id? jackie said they were getting me a new one but in the meantime i could just write down my hours and it would still count
ah, well, no. I'm not really in charge of that, i'm more in charge of what happens inside the gym, if you know what i mean.
i'm not sure i do?
look, there's no easy way to say this so like
oh my god
oh my god i'm so getting fired
i mean i'm so sorry you had to see this i'm so sorry oh my god
relax, it happens a lot more than they advertised it on my first day here. Just… be careful, okay? I'm not gonna report you because you are obviously cool with each other and it was a quiet night but… yeah, you guys might want to move this somewhere else next time
oh there will be no next time
i mean thank you so much, again i'm so sorry
is there any chance you can delete this whole thing and help me pretend you've never seen it, ever?
i can try
you're lucky they didn't think about spending a penny on updating the security system tho
feeling so lucky right now you wouldn't believe it
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‹
Do Not Text 🛑🛑›
Today 5:55 PM
it is lonely around here without you
leave me alone.
:'(
was trying to be romantic
i could have gotten fired for that you fucking asshole
we could have both been registered as sexual offenders
can you SEE how bad this is
there was nobody
cctv was there
my coworkers saw us fuck ffs
well good bc they can see you enjoyed yourself
i'm blocking you.
cmon hollander
don't you miss that
i know you miss it
you wouldn't have begged for it if you didn't
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‹
troy›
Today 7:14 PM
dude
do NOT tell me you two fucked
i literally wrote it down on twitter wym
sorry i stopped reading when you started talking about wanting to eat ass 24/7
man
didn't know it was possible to fall in love with an ass
just an ass?
i mean, his dick is also gorgeous
and his mouth
fuck
gross
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yoga boy 🔞›
Today 6:44 PM
you never answered my question
what question
about that amazing video
do you have it?
what
of course i don't
i asked ryan to delete it
are you serious??
we made beautiful art together hollander and you asked some guy to erase it?
stop trying to make it sound like this big romantic thing
maybe i am big romantic thing
you never think about that
excuse me for trying to keep MY JOB
is okay
you're gonna ask him aren't you
:)
possible
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‹
yoga boy 🔞›
Today 1:27 AM
you better hurry up bc I really fucking need it rn
fucj
shane
omw
don't move
wait for me
fuck im gonna ruin you baby
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‹
sveta›
Today 8:56 AM
what did you do
?
what did you do TO MY YOGA TEACHER
this is like the highlight of my week
i come here, i stretch a little, and then i get to enjoy one hour of perfectly round and perky man butt
this was my SAFE SPACE
he's never cancelled before and now that he's met YOU he's cancelling his class at the last minute??
well
if by doing something to him you mean fucking him so hard he passed out in his bed and can't walk straight then you are right i did do something to him
a bunch of times actually
you better reimburse my membership
wtf it's one class
look me in the eye and tell me it won't be a regular occurrence
you still use venmo?
**
‹
yoga boy 🔞›
Today 9:51 AM
miss this
ILYA????????
i have a fucking yoga class in 5 MINUTES
and?
i can't get hard right now
fuck
i told you to delete it
i can't. is too good
you took me so well
those sounds you make…
i'm so hard right now please cancel your class and come to my place
pls
HOW MANY SEXTAPES DO YOU HAVE
look
you were made to suck my dick
such a good boy
shane?
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‹
my yoga boy 💓›
Today 7:01 PM
Troy
gym tonight?
Cliff
i'm in
Luca
absolutely
Troy
ilya?
busy
Cliff
BRO
Luca
who is it
Cliff
SINCE WHEN IS SEX BEFORE THE GYM???
Troy
bros before???
you guys are insane
i'm not leaving shane for your ugly ass faces
Troy
ah, so now it's shane? not the hot yoga instructor anymore?
what's next? baby?
shut up
you're just jealous i'm getting some
Troy
you never would've said no to the gym before
before, i didn't have a man begging me to fuck him on every surface of his apartment
so yeah, sorry
Luca
ilya wtf you didn't tell me?? you're fucking the yoga teacher?
Troy
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‹
yoga boy 🔞›
Today 2:21 PM
you look good in those shorts
who's spying on who now
i'm not spying
i just think they look good
you are free at 3, right? :)
no.
but you told me
we're not doing this
we did do it once
exactly??? once was enough
but :(
you know what im thinking
no.
the sauna probably doesn't have cameras
i'm not risking my JOB for a quickie
who talked about a quickie
ok i lied i already checked there's no camera
ilya i'm serious
so am i??
you are having dinner with your parents tonight i won't see you until tomorrow night
so many things could happen
so your alternative is a quickie in a semi public place
again, no one said this would be a quickie
cmon hollander
you would look so good spread out on that bench
all naked and sweaty
shane?
?
the fucking sauna is empty where the fuck are YOU
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‹
rose›
Today 9:53 AM
okay what are we doing here
?
ilya
it's been a month and as far as i'm concerned the two of you have defiled the yoga studio, the sauna room, a bunch of other places at the gym, probably every flat surface in your respective apartments and i assume a car or two
when did you start shaming me?
i'm not shaming you you idiot
you can't keep telling me this is just sex
why wouldn't it be?
shane
it's been over a month
is he seeing other people?
no
that would be hard for him to do bc he literally lives at the gym
and where is he when he's not at the gym
idk, his place
and are you there then
sometimes
often
also thanks for asking ME if i'm seeing anyone else
we both know that's not the case
shane you have to start calling it for what it is
you have a guy who treats you right, who likes spending all his time with you and you've had more sex than most people in a ten-year marriage in a single month
that's a fucking relationship
look i'm trying to go slow with this
SLOW?
SLOW?????
yes
the sex is just that good i don't want to fuck everything up by asking too much too fast
oh baby you are so broken
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‹
gym bros›
Today 5:31 PM
Troy
guys
roz is completely whipped
it's hilarious
Cliff
wow roz, you have a private acc and troy is the only one following you??
Luca
feeling heartbroken right now ngl
Cliff
damn, we know who your favorite is
troy is absolutely NOT my favorite
not when he keeps exposing my shit like this
Troy
LOL
also fuck you man
can't you guys just be happy for me?
Cliff
dude, we are
but wait, are you two actually together???
in my head, yeah
i just don't know how to tell him
Troy
maybe don't do it when you're balls deep. be romantic for once
you're not gonna believe me but i've never been this romantic bro
Cliff
wow, never thought yoga boy would have you acting like this
Troy
looks like you really did "handle the situation" huh
and to think i was gonna introduce you guys to him
y'all can wait now
Luca
NOOOO
we wanna meet him
maybe i'll introduce you when you're no longer crushing on him
Troy
Luca
dude, i don't have a crush on him
i just thought he was hot at first, that's it
he's your man
mmh yeah
my man
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my yoga boy 💓›
Today 9:17 AM
woke up alone in a big empty bed
i don't recommend
you can't do this to me when i'm at work hollander
brb i'm gonna quit
you better not
:'( so mean when you're empty
who says i'm empty
fuckjhjkl maer"^=
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sveta›
Today 10:50 AM
i want to take him out on a date
how do i do that
and you're asking me because...?
because i am not going to take suggestions from the three morons who share one communal braincell on a good day
well, easy. ask him.
thanks, i didn't think of that.
i don't want it to be awkward
why because the two of you have lived in sin for like weeks now
yes and i go down on my knees every night
🙄🙄🙄
idk what you want me to say, just ask him
just don't be like, crude about it
also wear something nice, take him to a nice restaurant
so no mcdonalds?
i know you're joking but let me just say fuck no
**
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my yoga boy 💓›
Today 3:50 PM
what are you doing after your pilates class?
?
wasn't i supposed to come over to yours tonight?
oh
yeah
you okay??
yeah sorry
you're being weird
no i'm not
you literally forgot i was coming over tonight
i didn't forget
just hurry after your class and dress nice
dress nice?
why? it's not like i'm gonna keep my clothes on for long anyway ;)
come on, i'm serious
ok fine. see you later
❤️
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sveta›
Today 9:25 AM
soooo
how was the date
well
asking him to be my boyfriend while he was choking on my dick was not exactly what i had in mind
but i guess i have a boyfriend now???
happy for you tho
thank you <3 i'm happy too
**
‹
rose›
Today 10:54 AM
ok so i have a boyfriend now?
OMG
YAYYY IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU
tell me everything!!!!! was he romantic?
uhhhh
he took me on a date
so yeah
then he asked me to be his boyfriend
soooo cute 😭
while i was deepthroating him
happy for you i guess
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‹
gym bros›
Today 2:39 PM
tonight, 7pm, if you guys wanna meet shane
Troy
WAIT, ACTUALLY???
Cliff
finally 😭
Luca
i'm so in
you better behave
Troy
we will 🙂
i'm serious
don't fuck this up for me
Cliff
bro is stressed 😭
shut up. i am not. don't be late. 7pm my place
Luca
we'll be nice, promise
good
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my yoga boy 💓›
Today 4:11 PM
???
what are you doing
nothing??
you've made like ten posts today calling me your boyfriend
i think everyone got the message
mmh
i don't think your milf fanclub got the message
i think they know
maybe i should just fuck you during one of your classes
what do you think boyfriend
you're SO annoying
yes
but i am your annoying boyfriend
unfortunately
❤️
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‹
gym bros›
Today 4:51 PM
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‹
gym bros›
Today 4:52 PM
You have unsent this message
oops
you didn't see that
Luca
whatihjklkjhk
ROZ
you can't be serious rn
what
Cliff
cmon bro
we just met him i don't want to see him like that
i deleted
Troy
you know we can still see it right
what
no
i deleted
Luca
it's still very much there
oh
THEN STOP LOOKING
ALL OF YOU STOP LOOKING
PRIVATE PROPERTY
Troy
trust me i WISH i could stop looking
his fucking ass is staring back at me
Luca
i still see it when i close my eyes
i'm going to kill all of you and then myself
fuck
Today 6:04 PM
i'm never going to suck his dick again am i
Troy
good thing you got all that to remember him by tho
i
istg i'm going to kill you
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