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Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of Group 2 (Non-Narrative) ~ Filk Broken Telephone 2026 , Part 19 of Nonplussed's filks
Collections:
Filk Broken Telephone 2026, Pod_Together 2026
Stats:
Published:
2026-09-06
Words:
335
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
23
Kudos:
18
Bookmarks:
2
Hits:
75

[Filk] Honey, you're fucking dead

, ,

Summary:

There's no way to go back
It's far too late, my dear
The life you knew is gone
Because you're dead and stuck with me
My mandate is your destiny
Because, ooh-ooh-hoo
You're dead and stuck with me

A filk for Filk Broken Telephone 2026, partially inspired by The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System.

Notes:

I (irrationalpie) had a great time working on this with Wildwindrose and nonplussed. And I (nonplussed) also had a great time working on this filk as a team! We hope you enjoy listening! ❤

Optional fandom/trope context

In transmigration stories, when the main character dies in their original world, they end up in a different world which they may or may not have heard about before, but thought was fictional. There may be an entity (the system) to help the character in this new setting and/or assign them quests to either preserve or disrupt the original narrative in specific ways, as if their new life were a video game.

In Scum Villain in particular, Shen Yuan ends up in the body of someone he recognizes as the villain and has a somewhat antagonistic relationship with his System, who is not very helpful and keeps forcing him to preserve the narrative in ways that will contribute to the villain's horrific death. That particular system isn't quite as unhinged as this song, but, what if...?

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Cover art. Stick figures of a dead person, system terminal, and person with long hair and a folding fan standing next to some smaller stick figures

Lyrics

There's no way to go back
It's far too late, my dear
The life you knew is gone
Because you're dead and stuck with me
My mandate is your destiny
Because, ooh-ooh-hoo
You're dead and stuck with me

You fell victim to my might
Kidnapped by devious tech UI
Helpless to my rules though you try to fight
But– now you're bound to this adventure
Bound to this adventure

I took your soul
Into a whole new world
Based on a book that you read

There's no way to go back
It's far too late, my dear
The life you knew is gone
Because you're dead and stuck with me
My mandate is your destiny
Because, ooh-ooh-hoo
You're dead and stuck with me

A folding fan and no internet
Ridiculous hair and some teenage brats
Traditional transmigrator starter pack
And now you're bound to this adventure
Bound to this adventure

I've got your soul
Brought to a whole new world
Based on a book that you read

There's no way to go back
It's far too late, my dear
The life you knew is gone
Because you're dead and stuck with me
My mandate is your destiny
Because, ooh-ooh-hoo
You're dead and stuck with me

[Minus 50 points]

Your path is set
You can't rewrite your future
Unless perhaps, you do it my way

I took your soul
Into a whole new world
Based on a book that you read

There's no way to go back
It's far too late, my dear
The life you knew is gone
Because you're dead and stuck with me
My mandate is your destiny
Because, ooh-ooh-hoo
You're dead and stuck!

No way to go back
It's far too late, my dear
The life you knew is gone
Because you're dead and stuck with me
My mandate is your destiny
Because, ooh-ooh-hoo
You're dead and stuck with me

Ooh-ooh-hoo, you're dead and stuck with me
Ooh-ooh-hoo, you're dead and stuck with me
[Important things must be said three times]

Notes:

(spoiler + notes) The starting theme for this filk broken telephone is…

Adventure!

[irrationalpie:] The thread that eventually became this story started with the idea of an adventure reader who suddenly gets dropped into the adventure they always wanted as a child and has mixed feelings about it. Because like, yay magic is real! ✨ But also danger and discomfort sucks 💀

Anyway, I knew nonplussed liked scum villain, and my original idea didn't quite work out (I'll get you someday warriors filk about the parallels between shen yuan and shen jiu! *shakes fist*) but once I pivoted to this idea it was a lot of fun to write! I was stuck on parts of it so I asked Wildwindrose for help and she absolutely elevated the shit out of it and ended up writing half the song with me. And then nonplussed's performance made it next level good! Truly an excellent collaboration all around ❤