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The midday sun beat down on the quiet courtyard of the Hakurei Shrine. As usual, there were absolutely no worshippers in sight, leaving the shrine grounds completely tranquil—and the donation box depressingly empty.
Reimu Hakurei sat cross-legged on the wooden porch, lazily sweeping a stray leaf with her broom. She let out a heavy sigh, her stomach letting out a small, pathetic rumble. She was entirely out of tea snacks, and her lunch had been nothing but plain white rice.
Suddenly, a loud, whistling wind tore through the sacred grove.
"Yo, Reimu! Look what I snagged from the Outside World, da ze!"
With a dramatic thump, Marisa Kirisame landed on the veranda, leaning her bamboo broom against the railing. Her black witch hat was slightly askew, but she was grinning like a cat that had just caught a golden mouse. In her arms, she held a large, flat, square cardboard box that radiated an incredible, mouth-watering aroma of baked bread, melted cheese, and savory spices.
Reimu blinked, her head tilting in complete confusion as she stared at the flat box. "Marisa? What is that? Did you steal another one of Patchouli’s ancient spellbooks? Why does it smell like cheese and tomatos?"
"It’s not a book, it’s a pizza!" Marisa cheered proudly, plopping down onto the tatami mat and sliding the box right between them. "The outside world humans go crazy for it! It’s still hot, look!"
Marisa flipped the cardboard lid open with a flourish.
Inside lay a massive, circular pie, cut into neat triangular wedges. It was covered in a rich, bubbling layer of golden-brown mozzarella cheese, a vibrant red tomato sauce, and perfectly crisped rounds of pepperoni.
Reimu’s eyes went wide as saucers, her empty stomach instantly reacting to the rich, greasy scent. A bright, embarrassed flush of hunger rushed straight to her cheeks. "It’s... it’s completely round. And what are these little red circles? Are they cursed youkai seals?"
"Nah, they're just spicy meat circles!" Marisa laughed, already reaching into the box. "Come on, dig in before the cheese gets stiff!"
Reimu stared at the massive food disk, her traditional Japanese sensibilities completely malfunctioning. She had absolutely no idea what the protocol was for an outside-world bread weapon.
"Right. Let me fetch the utensils," Reimu said smoothly, trying to sound dignified.
Before Marisa could stop her, Reimu hurried into the shrine kitchen and returned holding a pair of wooden chopsticks and a small ceramic teacup. She knelt by the box, gracefully snapped her chopsticks apart, and carefully aimed them at the center of the pizza.
She pinched a piece of pepperoni with the tips of her chopsticks and pulled.
Because the pizza was freshly baked, the melted cheese stretched out in a long, sticky, unyielding rope. Reimu yanked harder, but the cheese just kept stretching, pulling a massive glob of sauce along with it. The triangle slice didn't budge, but the structural integrity of the toppings completely collapsed, creating a messy, bubbling puddle of dairy in the center of the box.
"Why is it fighting me?!" Reimu panicked, her face turning a bright, flustered shade of scarlet as a drop of hot tomato sauce splashed onto her white sleeve. "The texture is entirely uncooperative! Marisa, did you bring an active youkai entity into my parlor?!"
"Ahahaha! Reimu, what are you doing?!" Marisa shrieked with laughter, leaning back against her broom as she practically wept with amusement. "You don't eat it with sticks! It’s a finger food, da ze!"
"Finger food?!" Reimu gasped, her traditional upbringing thoroughly offended. "Eating something this greasy with your bare hands? That is completely barbaric! How am I supposed to maintain my shrine maiden dignity?!"
"Watch and learn, princess," Marisa smirked wickedly.
Marisa reached into the box, grabbed the thick crust edge of a slice, and lifted it. She expertly folded the slice in half to keep the grease from dripping, tilted her head back, and took a massive, messy bite. A long strand of cheese snapped perfectly as she chewed, a look of pure, smug satisfaction on her face.
Reimu swallowed hard, her mouth watering intensely. The sheer smell of the baked crust was driving her insane. Gritting her teeth, she threw her chopsticks onto the tray, her face still steaming a bright, humiliated pink.
"Fine!" Reimu muttered defensively.
She reached into the box, her fingers immediately sinking into the warm, slightly greasy cheese. She tried to lift a slice by the tip, but because she didn't support the crust, the heavy triangle completely flopped over backward. A massive dollop of hot sauce landed squarely on the back of Reimu’s hand.
"Ow! It’s burning me!" Reimu squeaked, her voice hitting a panicked treble note.
In a total, blushing panic, she threw the slice back into the box and instinctively began licking the savory red sauce off her hand. Her red eyes went wide as the explosive, savory flavor of garlic, oregano, and tomato hit her tongue for the first time.
"Oh..." Reimu whispered, her anger instantly evaporating into sheer, unadulterated bliss. "The flavor... it's actually incredible."
"Told ya!" Marisa giggled, sliding another wedge onto a spare piece of paper and handing it to her properly by the crust. "Here. Hold it from the thick part at the back. Like a handle."
Reimu carefully took the slice by the crust, her hands still shaking slightly from the sheer novelty of the experience. She took a tiny, tentative bite. The perfect combination of crispy dough, savory sauce, and gooey cheese melted on her tongue, causing the final remnants of her shrine maiden pride to completely dissolve into a happy, content sigh.
"I suppose..." Reimu mumbled into her slice, her cheeks still carrying a soft, rosy pink as she refused to make eye contact with her grinning best friend. "...the outside world does some things correctly."
"We're definitely stealing another one next week," Marisa chuckled, happily munching alongside her under the peaceful autumn sun.
Reimu slumped back onto the porch of the Hakurei Shrine, staring at the messy tomato sauce and grease pooling in the Outside World pizza box.
"This is an absolute logistical nightmare," Reimu muttered, her face still flushed a vivid shade of crimson. She frantically grabbed her wide, white detached sleeve, aggressively rubbing it against a greasy tomato stain that had bloomed right on the fabric.
"Ahahaha! Reimu, stop! You're just grinding the grease deeper into the thread, da ze!" Marisa Kirisame howled with laughter, leaning lazily against her broomstick. She took a smug bite of her own slice, cheese trailing from her chin. "For the legendary shrine maiden who can resolve any incident, you sure get completely defeated by a little bit of melted dairy."
"Be quiet, Marisa! The structural cohesion of this food disk is inherently flawed!" Reimu snapped defensively. She spat a tiny bit of saliva onto her sleeve, desperately scrubbing at the spot, only to turn it into a slightly larger, faint pink smudge. "Why can't the humans over the barrier make food that stays in a neat, solid block?!"
"Because stretching is the best part!" Marisa giggled, reaching down to grab her third slice from the box. "Look at the crust on this one! It's like a handle—"
Before Marisa’s fingers could even touch the cardboard, a familiar, deep, and deeply unsettling sound ripped through the quiet afternoon air.
Riiiiiiip.
The space right above the pizza box split open like torn fabric, revealing a dark, dimensional void filled with floating, crimson eyes. Peeking out from the gap, a wildly amused smile stretching across her face, was Yukari Yakumo.
"My, my, what a delightfully aromatic gathering," Yukari purred, her voice dripping with playful elegance. She didn't drop out of the portal entirely; instead, she merely extended her arm, her slender fingers wrapped in white lace.
With lightning-fast, casual precision, Yukari’s hand swept downward, her fingers hooking perfectly under the thick crust of the very last triangular slice of pizza.
"Hey! Hands off the payload, da ze!" Marisa yelled, swat his witch hat in the air to swing at the hand, but she was entirely too slow.
Yukari seamlessly retracted her arm back into the void, bringing the steaming slice with her. She took a delicate, slow bite, her eyes narrowing in pure bliss as she hovered comfortably inside her reality tear. "Oh, the outside world truly excels at savory flatbreads. The garlic profile is exquisite. Thank you for the snack, Marisa."
"Yukari!" Reimu shrieked, her face turning an even brighter, more catastrophic shade of magenta as she pointed her broom at the gap. "You can't just open a boundary inside my lunch! Pay for that slice! Put some coins in the donation box right now!"
"I think of it as a boundary tax for maintaining your shrine's isolation," Yukari chuckled melodically, waving a lace-covered finger. She looked down at Reimu’s stained, messy sleeve and let out a delighted, teasing giggle. "And Reimu... I highly suggest cold water and dish soap for the tomato stain. Saliva only seals the fate of the fabric."
With a soft, mocking pop, the boundary closed entirely, leaving only a few stray cherry blossom petals drifting onto the empty cardboard box.
Marisa stared at the empty space, then looked over at a completely frozen, boiling-mad Reimu. "Well... at least she gave laundry advice, da ze?"
"I am going to seal her into her gaps for a thousand years," Reimu whimpered into her sleeves, her shrine maiden pride completely, utterly decimated for the day.
Marisa looked at Reimu, whose shoulders were still trembling with a mix of fiery rage and pure, pouty embarrassment as she glared at the empty space where Yukari’s gap had just been.
"Aw, come on, Reimu," Marisa said, her teasing tone softening into something much warmer. "Don't let the old hag ruin a perfectly good afternoon, da ze."
Before Reimu could launch into another defensive rant about the shrine's ruined lunch or her stained sleeve, Marisa threw her black witch hat onto the veranda. Moving with sudden, energetic affection, she slid across the tatami mats and threw her arms tightly around Reimu's waist, dragging the stiff shrine maiden into a massive, unprompted hug.
Reimu gasped, her body instantly locking up as a brilliant, fiery crimson blush rushed straight to her cheeks. "M-Marisa?! What do you think you are doing?! Unhand me!"
"I'm deployed for cheer-up duty!" Marisa laughed boisterously, squeezing her tightly. She buried her face briefly against Reimu's shoulder, completely unbothered by the grease smudges. "You're always so serious. You gotta learn to roll with the punches when the food fights back."
"I am perfectly capable of handling food, I just—"
Reimu's voice caught squarely in her throat. Marisa pulled back just an inch, her hands resting flat against Reimu’s shoulders. Her golden eyes were sparkling with pure, mischievous affection, and her face was dusted with a warm, rosy glow of her own.
Before Reimu could even blink, Marisa leaned in and planted a loud, messy, and thoroughly enthusiastic smooch right on Reimu's lips.
The kiss was warm, sudden, and absolutely packed with the lingering, explosive flavor of the outside world—a potent, undeniable wave of savory garlic, rich oregano, and baked mozzarella cheese.
The sheer sensory overload caused Reimu's brain to completely gridlock. Her eyes went wide as saucers, her hands hovering awkwardly in the air as her entire face turned a blinding, radiant shade of magenta that could have been seen from the bottom of the mountain.
Marisa pulled back with a triumphant, toothy grin, smacking her lips playfully. "There! Now you've officially got the full outside-world pizza experience, da ze!"
Reimu stood completely frozen on the porch for a grand total of five seconds, her breath caught and her mind spinning in a chaotic, dizzying static. She clutched her burning face with both hands, her red eyes staring at her best friend in absolute, defeated mortification.
"M-Marisa..." Reimu squeaked out, her voice hitting a panicked treble note as her shrine maiden dignity entirely disintegrated into the autumn air. "You... you taste entirely too much like garlic!"
"That's the taste of victory, princess!" Marisa cackled, snatching her witch hat back up and winking cheerfully before leaping onto her broomstick. "I'll go scout the barrier for another pie next week! Wash that sleeve before it sets!"
With a loud, windy whistle, Marisa shot up into the sky, leaving a thoroughly melted, bright pink shrine maiden standing on the veranda, staring blankly into the clouds while tasting melted cheese on her lips.