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I’m sure the writers intended him to be (like every character who isn’t explicitly stated not to be, because heteronormativity), yet here we are. For the record, I’ve never claimed that Nathan being demisexual is somehow canon. Sadly, I know it’s not. I know that Nathan is supposed to be a straight white guy with abuse, bullying and emotional neglect background, with some issues with social skills and a magical condition/Trouble that functions as a disability.
So, like I said, I know Nathan is a character that is assumed straight. But if we look beyond heteronormativity, aka the assumption that everyone is straight (and cis and allo/non-ace/aro, not intersex etc), Nathan’s love interests being women doesn’t mean he has to be Straight TM. In fact, one can be a demisexual male and be interested in women! Maybe only women! It varies! Being demi takes nothing away from his feelings for women, if you, Anon, are so intent on him being straight/only interested in women.
All my demisexual headcanon really says about Nathan is that I don’t think he was sexually interested in Audrey until he really got to know and trust her. Is that somehow super out of bounds with what we saw on screen? (OK, I kinda think he has a bit of a sexual awakening moment with Audrey wearing the clothes he got her in 1x4, but they have known each other for a while now, Nathan is opening up to her, it’s a bit early but it still tracks, to me) It took a while for Nathan to develop feelings for Audrey, and even longer to really realize that he had developed them (‘I don’t know what this’ is to ghost!Garland). Then there’s his final speech to Audrey about how he ‘never felt anything until’ he met Audrey, and how he can’t move on from her (something Jordan knew and Nathan said in 5x26) which is a really demi thing to say, although it’s not enough to make this anything above a headcanon. He just loves her very intensely, and is very demi about her.
And about his other relationships, Nathan was uncomfortable with Jess and the pace of the relationship, partly because of his Trouble, but there can easily be more to it than that. Especially since it was established that he wasn't bothered/interested enough to figure out how having sex with his Trouble works, even after being Troubled a few years. It just wasn’t something he was really interested in until he met someone who made him view the Troubles, and himself, differently. He said Jess was interesting, he didn’t say she was hot (that was Audrey).
And as far as Jordan goes, his relationship with Audrey was rocky at that point, they had a build-in connection through their Troubles and touching, yet they never slept together (this show is really blatant about when m/f couples have sex together for the first time, Nathan/Jordan doesn’t get that scene). Their relationship was partly pretend on Nathan’s part, although I do think he cared about her to an extent. But trust was a big thing between them, which they never quite achieved, no matter what Nathan said. OK, trust is always important in relationships, and there are other reasons for why they had issues trusting one another, and having trust issues doesn’t mean someone is demi, but still. And I mean, I do think the ‘no sex’ thing was as much on Jordan and her traumas as it was on Nathan’s reasons for not going there. So, the Jordan relationship doesn’t scream demi! the way Nathan/Audrey does, but it still fits within that reading.
OK, I admit, Sarah is a bit of an issue, and it is the most straight/allo behavior he exhibits on the show, but there was a lot going on with him when he met Sarah, maybe there was transference from his feelings and attraction from Audrey, trying to take more risks because he did just die, and his time with Audrey was running out and Sarah also talked about that, taking advantage of the time they have. It needs a bit of fudging, but you know, demis can also make weird sexual decisions. He had a chance to be with someone who reminded him of Audrey (why do I always go for the shy ones), who wanted to be with him, someone who he was also interested in for her own sake, and he took it.
Now, someone might go, “OP, if you accept sleeping with Sarah on the first day being possible while still being demi, how about his reaction to Lexie? He wasn’t interested in *her*.” And I’ll go, *context*, dear reader. When and how Nathan met Sarah and Lexie were two very different situations, with two very different characters who behaved differently. What I mean by that, is that Sarah was into Nathan almost instantly, they spent some time together, getting to know each other and Sarah wasn’t going to let a hot guy go without making a pass at him. (Note, Sarah wasn’t planning on staying in Haven when she slept with Nathan. I know some people think Nathan lead Sarah on, but that’s not what was happening, Sarah wasn’t expecting a relationship with Nathan) Nathan was attracted to Sarah, in a different time (where he thought he might have to stay in) and decided to go for it.
With Lexie, everything was so different. Nathan had spent 6 to 7 months in self loathing, letting people beat him up and call for his death/try to kill him, and he accepted that, because he knew he fucked up, that one moment of letting go of his control lead to a whole lot of pain and death and he had a way to fix it all. He thought him dying was the right thing to do, and what he deserved for his fuck up. He was depressed and suicidal, and had made peace with the fact that he should die. But that’s not what happened. Instead, as far as he knew, the person who came out of the Barn wasn’t Audrey, but Lexie. But not the real!Lexie, but a version that was filtered through Audrey and one that Audrey specifically wanted to make off-putting to Nathan (hence disgust at pancakes and racy talk). So, Nathan was depressed, his self-sacrifice had just been denied (meaning, there was nothing that could fix the Troubles short term) and the woman in front of him was specifically unlike Audrey and Sarah, so of course his reaction to her is different, even hostile. And after he knew that Lexie was Audrey, he was then thinking of the fact neither of his sacrifices was working, aka 1) he killed Howard so that Audrey didn’t have to lose herself, yet there she was, having to life as someone else and 2)she refused to end the Troubles by killing him, even when it was becoming clear that it might be the best course of action. So, no, Nathan didn’t like ‘Laudrey’/fake!Lexie as she was presented to him, but that was part of Audrey’s goal. So, having different reactions to Audrey’s personalities doesn’t take away from Nathan’s demisexuality, if you look at the context.
I guess I could still mention that brunette he danced with in 2x8. You can dance with people you are not attracted to, and Nathan wasn’t very seductive or interested in anything beyond dancing (and the woman wasn’t either, probably, given Nathan’s dancing skills).
The above stuff are some of the reasons this is one of my favorite headcanons, because I do think it works really well. Thinking of Nathan as demi doesn’t actually change anything about the show. Not because being demisexual is the same experience as being heterosexual, because it isn’t. But because it fits with how Nathan falls in love, how he reacts to flirting (can't recognize it), and how he is in relationships. It just fits really well. He never really shows any interest towards people he doesn’t already have an emotional interest in.
Back to heteronormativity, Nathan never really says anything like ‘I am only romantically and sexually attracted to women’ or ‘I only like women’ or anything like that. He certainly never says “I am straight”. Except for having women as LIs, his sexuality is open to interpretation. It’s heteronormativity that says that isn’t the case (and possibly homonormativity, if you think that he can’t be non-straight because he does show interest in women). I identify with him a lot and I think he shows quite many signs of ace/demi-ness, and there’s nothing that says I’m wrong. And like I mentioned, he did say “I never felt anything until I met you”, which is really demi thing to say. I mean, really. Not blatant enough to seem deliberately demi (because I know it wasn’t) but still very demi. To me his interests in Audrey/Sarah/Paige, Jess and Jordan don’t even seem particularly predicated on them being women (but that's about my panromantic headcanon for him). That’s a weird thing to say, and of course a show like Haven has his Love Interests be women, but he never says anything about being attracted to them because they are women. But I’m not even particularly against Nathan being heteroromantic, because that doesn’t take away from my demisexual headcanon.
For comparison, Duke says a lot of things about women being attractive and being interested in them sexually. Hell, Audrey has more lines about women being attractive than Nathan does (which is why I feel Audrey’s bi, how do you like that, Anon?).
Also, in case you think that Nathan being demi means 'no sex' or something, well, it doesn't. It's canon they have sex, and that Nathan wants to have sex with Audrey (and was willing to try having sex with Jess) and I'm not arguing differently. At all. I just think that Audrey is the only person he wants to have sex with, and he wants to have sex with Audrey because she’s the person he is emotionally bonded with and has developed sexual attraction towards. That’s what being demi means. Being demi doesn't mean 'no sex' (even ace doesn't necessarily mean 'no sex', it’s a spectrum of experiences).
Finally, there are anti-ace comments and moments in the show (‘you’re not a real boy’ possibly has a sexual subtext; Mara calling him prude, saying he’s wearing a chastity belt and should evolve to see sex as just cardio; All!Crocker/possessed!Duke calling Audrey frigid and Nathan the obvious choice for a frigid woman is acephobic towards both of them). I’d much prefer that if you are going to say shitty things about a group of people, you’d also think to actually represent them. I know, I know, most people probably don’t think about those moments like that, and I know Nathan (or Dave Teagues, in the actor’s words) wasn’t written to be ace or demi, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are anti-ace moments, and like I have written about above and prior to this, there are moments during which Nathan does come across as possibly being on ace spectrum, and getting those types of terms directed at him kinda strengthens that point. Like, it’s awful having those moments, but if it was combined with representation, or if I can read representation into the show, it’s slightly better. At least to me.
TL;DR: It's not that I don't know that Nathan is assumed straight, just like almost all fictional characters, but I like thinking of him as demi, because it gives me the rep I'm not getting outside of a few books. My headcanon doesn’t change anything about the show, but it makes me happy, so there.