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Bryan and Michelle had started out as coworkers at a run-down pharmacy in the quiet part of town.
Things quickly grew dull doing nothing but restocking shelves and refilling people’s prescriptions in the back room, especially during the night shifts. The energy between them was awkward but friendly, as most coworker relationships typically were. That was until one fateful night when Bryan happened to mention having weed in his car, and to his relief Michelle was amenable to the idea he was not so subtly floating.
The inside of his car was an unkempt mess, but she didn’t make him feel bad about it. They just smoked, and talked, and from then on their boring dead-end jobs became just a little more bearable. A mutual understanding formed, and a routine of sorts began. They started going back to his place to drink beer a couple nights a week, sometimes smoking too if either of them had any. And it was nice, having easy company like this. Michelle had a way of making him feel like less of a loser, because she never expected him to be anything remarkable. She even clapped politely whenever he attempted a few skateboard tricks in the parking lot, which was generous of her since most of them ended with him on his ass.
It was strange. It was like when they were together, they could just… be. In the past that might have spelled trouble for him, especially when substances were involved. Sometimes easy company wasn’t good, because it gave you permission to be worse. But with Michelle, it was different. He liked to think that it was because they were honest with each other.
The first time it happened was in the back of her car. While it was certainly impulsive, it didn’t feel crazy or overly surprising that it was happening. There’d been an air of inevitability between them for a couple weeks now. Hooking up hadn’t been a matter of if, but rather when. Bryan had assumed there wasn’t much more to it than that. Sure, maybe they’d fool around every once in a while going forward. But besides that, things would probably stay the same.
But that was before he woke up with her in his bed the next morning. As he watched her sleep, he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he should’ve gone about things in a more… romantic way. Maybe taken her pants off instead of just unbuttoning them before he fingered her, or perhaps done a better job at holding up her hair while she blew him. Been more of a gentleman. Whatever that looked like. But she’d had a good time, hadn’t she? If she wanted it to be more special, she would have said so, right? They’d been upfront with each other about everything else up until now.
Their whole deal was that they were both just losers with nothing better to do than get high and talk about dumb shit to pass the time between now and the next paycheck. Now they just… did hands and mouth stuff sometimes. No big deal, right?
From what he’d gathered, Michelle didn’t have a boyfriend, nor did she seem to want one. She talked about relationships like they were too much trouble. In fact, Bryan had been pretty certain that he felt the same way about that sort of stuff. But then they got ready and drove to work together that same morning like it was any other day, and for some strange reason he just kept thinking about it.
A week later, when it happened again, he’d convinced himself he was done looking into it too deeply. She gave him a handjob on his couch while Alien vs. Predator played in the background, and he awkwardly set aside his beer so that he could rest his hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently as she got him off. But then right before he came in her hand, she kissed him, and he froze.
They’d made out in her car before, but this felt different. He tried to kiss her back properly, but then she did this thing with her thumb and he whimpered, gasping against her lips as his premature release shot across her knuckles.
She’d smiled coyly, saying ‘that was hot,’ before turning back to the movie. He really tried to slow the beating of his heart and focus on the fluorescent green blood splattering across the screen after that, but for the remaining runtime he found himself glancing over in her direction instead.
It made no sense. Especially when you accounted for the fact that Alien vs. Predator was ranked high up there among what he considered to be the most awesome movies ever. Maybe he’d just seen it too many times now.
The first time they fucked (like, the real deal, in a bed, with their clothes off, not the hurried stuff with the carseats folded down) Bryan screwed up majorly. He didn’t realise it until he was already too far gone, but it had actually been a long time since he’d felt this vulnerable with someone, and when those pieces fell into place it freaked him out a bit.
He held Michelle’s hands, their fingers tightly laced, and when they reached the edge together, a few tears slipped from his eyes. He’d been on top of her, so by the time he realised what had happened, it was too late to hide them. He tried to shrug off her concern, blaming it on a bad high, even though oh right, they hadn’t even smoked today. He still insisted it was nothing. She didn’t argue the point, but something about the way she didn’t stop holding him even after they were done told him she hadn’t been fooled for a second. The fact that she never pushed him to own up to the shitty lie meant a lot to him.
He was such an idiot.
A couple months later, he finally did the math, and things started adding up. He realised that since god knows when, they’d started staying at his place more nights a week than not. Michelle’s stuff was all over his apartment, and from an outsider's perspective it definitely gave off a certain impression. A long-term live-in girlfriend kind of impression. The bra hanging on his bedroom doorknob was a damning detail he’d become particularly fixated on. He was even more so hung up on it once he realised he couldn't remember how long it’d been there, or figure out for the life of him how he’d failed to notice it up until now. It was bright red and lacy for fuck’s sake!
Bryan typically never started drinking if he knew Michelle was coming over later. That way they could start together, and match each other’s pace. But something about the nerves plaguing him today had him teetering towards reaching for that liquid courage. Having a slight buzz when she showed up wouldn’t be such a big deal, would it? Luckily, she arrived early and put an end to that foolish plan before he wound up sloshed at four in the afternoon.
But somehow even without a preemptive beer in his hand to tip her off, she already seemed well aware from the jump that something was off about him today. She gave him a pointed, scrutinising look as she waltzed on in, and he swallowed nervously. Apparently they’d gotten close enough that he didn’t even have to lie for her to see through his bullshit anymore. It would be flattering if it wasn’t also incredibly humiliating. He didn’t even have any alcohol in his system to blame for his flushed complexion.
Still, despite the off-kilter start to their evening, Michelle claimed her self-appointed spot on his couch and put a movie on like it was any other Saturday night.
As the opening scenes from Top Gun made the TV speakers work overtime, Bryan finally asked the burning question.
“So are you like seeing anyone else?” he eloquently mumbled.
He used to feel so cool listening to ‘Danger Zone’ and driving down the highway. Such simpler, less daunting times.
Michelle’s brow furrowed, her expression one of confusion, suspicion and perhaps even a bit of irritation. He’d aimed so hard for casual, but the air had quickly turned stilted and tense instead.
“No. Why, are you?” she accused.
Not expecting the question to be turned back around on him, Bryan hesitated, stumbling over the words.
“N-No?”
Of course her eyebrows shot up, because it had definitely come out sounding like a lie. But the idea of having sex with anyone other than Michelle had sounded so foreign to him that he’d truly had to think about it for a second. Come to think of it, he can’t even remember the last time he thought about sex with anyone else, and that in itself was illuminating.
“Bryan, if you’re screwing someone else you need to tell me!” she exclaimed, her voice growing louder as her disbelief turned to anger. “Jesus, we didn’t even use condoms the last few times, you’ve gotta be kidding me–”
“No, I was serious! Honest!” he swore. “Fuck, I’m not that much of an idiot. I just… wanted to know if you…” he trailed off.
“Wanted to know what?” she asked, and even if there was a trace of hurt left in her voice, her eyes were telling him that she just wanted the truth more than anything.
“Fuck. Shit. Okay,” he muttered, trying to psyche himself up.
It took longer than either of them would have liked for him to just come out and say it.
“...Are we dating?”
At first she looked at him like he was crazy. Then her eyes darted around his face, slowly taking in the sincerity, and her mouth fell open in shock as she tried to wrap her head around it. The silence threatened to devour them both as the seconds ticked by.
“...I thought you didn’t want a girlfriend,” she said at last. The vulnerability in her voice stunned him. She’d never sounded so small.
Shit. Had he said that? When had he said that? That definitely sounded like something Bryan in his early-mid twenties who smoked too much weed and had no aspirations in life would say. But that was months ago! Things were different now. They were different.
He could recall parts of a conversation they’d had during the awkward coworkers who made small talk phase, where Michelle had said something along the lines of relationships being a hassle. He’d agreed without giving it much thought, because at the time it’d probably been true. So what changed? Was it him, or had they both felt something shift somewhere between backseat hookups and falling asleep in each other's arms? What part of any of this needed to change so badly that he’d been rendered a nervous wreck just trying to broach the subject?
“...I don’t know what I want,” he said at last. “But when I’m with you, it’s like, I dunno… I feel like I don’t want anything else. I don’t need anything else. I just want… more of this.”
He gestured vaguely towards the mess they’d made of the coffee table and the sight of a young Tom Cruise’s boyish good looks on the TV.
“Y’know what I mean?”
Michelle sighed, doing her best to keep her expression firm as the tumultuous emotions washed over her.
“To me it just sounds like you don’t want anything serious, Bryan.”
Right away he sat up straighter, the mere hint of her growing tired of their arrangement sparking action in him. He didn’t want things to change, but he could tell they would whether he wanted them to or not if he remained complacent.
“What if I can be serious? Fuck, I mean, what if we just tried it! I can be serious!” he promised.
“You don’t take anything seriously Bryan! That’s the problem! I want to be with you, but how am I supposed to just believe you’re ready for that all of a sudden?”
“Because I wanna be with you too,” he said, his voice sounding clipped and softer all of a sudden.
There was something raw and real about everything he felt in that moment, and he knew that there was no point in ignoring it any longer. Her eyes widened like she was feeling it too, and he watched in real time as her skepticism slowly melted away. Instead, he got to see those big brown eyes of hers turn hopeful. He smiled, all nervous and crooked.
“Fuck, Michelle… I think I might love you.”
The hope finally overshadowed any trace of the doubt left in her demeanor. She allowed herself to return that smile, and he laughed, releasing some of the tension clogging his chest.
“You really mean it?” she asked.
He did a gesture that was sort of a nod and a shrug at the same time, the uncertainty of it all seeming irrelevant as she crawled over his lap to straddle him. She cradled his face in her hands, and he gripped her hips in a way that had become all too familiar as she bumped her nose against his.
“So does that mean we’re–”
She cut off the start of his rambling with a fierce kiss. He was forced to abruptly pull back for air, but his eyes stayed shut in an effort to preserve the mood in spite of his running mouth.
“Yeah, okay, I think I got it. But maybe just one more–”
“Idiot,” she said fondly, stealing his lips again.
Her hips ground down, unsurprised to find him already hard. He broke their kiss a second time, this time with a rather breathless sounding moan.
“Oh fuck, baby,” he crooned, the petname coming easily.
“My lease is up in a month,” she informed him as she kissed down his neck.
Bryan’s head was clouded with pure bliss and pleasure, so it took him a while to process what she’d said, and by that point their lips were locked in another heated exchange. It was hard to reply with her tongue in his mouth, but he got there in the end.
“Y-Yeah?”
When she elaborated it was between a rapid series of shorter kisses. “Yeah. Was gonna… Find a new place. Somewhere shitty, probably. But maybe we could… Find somewhere new together.”
Again, he found himself a little too distracted to reply immediately. But from what he gathered she sounded… serious. In all honesty he was more than a little intimidated by the idea. But then his hips bucked upwards at the same time that hers rolled down, and all his worries faded to the back of his mind as he was left whimpering in her ear.
“S’good. S-Sounds good. Whatever you want, baby,” he told her.
She was more than determined to ride him right then and there on the couch, but about halfway through he convinced her to switch to reverse cowgirl because the movie was ‘getting to the good part.’ She pretended to put up a fuss, but after they were done she cuddled up to him and watched the remaining runtime with just as much rapt attention.
A couple months later, their monotonous yet content lives were shaken up yet again when another big change gave them their second of many wake up calls. And just like before, the way they individually dealt with the change was… disproportionate, to say the least.
The catalyst came in the form of their boss catching them fooling around in the back room, and deciding that that was the last time he wanted to see Bryan with his pants down plowing his fellow employee instead of dividing up medication. They were both politely asked to find jobs elsewhere, which was admittedly much more fairness than they deserved at that point.
Michelle for one took it as the opportunity that it was. She’d hated that job from the start, and now she finally had a reason to put herself out there and start applying for desk jobs closer to the city. Bryan on the other hand was trying and failing not to panic at the looming threat of things changing so drastically. He practically begged the guy to give him another chance, or to at least point him in the direction of something close by that paid a similar salary. In the end, the boss agreed to put a good word in for him at the hospital, but only after Bryan agreed to never speak to him again. It turns out he could be pretty convincing.
To his relief, the relationship tensions their untimely terminations had caused between him and Michelle were mostly resolved once he lucked out and landed the position. And by the time winter came around, he was settling into his new job as a medical courier just fine.
Things were really looking up!