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Baelor's eyes swiped back and forth over the shelves, a faint frown on his face as he considered all the options. How was he supposed to know which ones to get?
Without looking away he took his phone out and dialled Dunk, the action more than familiar by now. He smiled at the thought of the younger man as he listened to the ringing. It finally clicked and a faint "Hello?" echoed through.
"Good afternoon, Dunk. Are you well today?"
"Yeah, I'm just sorting out those books."
"Oh, good. Thank you." He paused for a moment before carrying on, the bright colours in front of him rather distracting. Good marketing, he supposed. "What size condoms do you wear?"
The choked sound and loud thud on the other side distracted Baelor from the woman next to him whipping her head round to stare at him, a horrified expression on her face. He tilted his head, wondering if his new partner was well.
"Dunk? Are you-"
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"
That wasn't Dunk. "Hello, Maekar. How are the children?"
"Don't fucking start that shit, what the fuck was that?"
Baelor didn't address his brother's language. If he wasn't better after all these decades, then clearly there was no hope to be had. "Is Dunk okay? I heard an odd sound."
Maekar snorted. "That sound was this idiot dropping a book on the floor. And now he looks fucking dead."
"Oh, dear. That wasn't what I intended."
"That's what you get for answering calls saying shit like that."
"How was I supposed to know you'd be there?" His eyes dragged over the different sizes as his youngest brother ranted in his ears. Maekar was rather skilled at complaining, now he thought about it.
"Did he answer my question?" Baelor asked, interrupting the topic of his lacking morals. "About the size of the condoms?"
"No, you shameless fuck! He looks like he wants the ground to swallow him whole!"
"Hmm, that's unfortunate." His gaze fixed to the end, the box containing the largest size and he considered those most likely. "Do you think he's proportionate? He's rather tall, after all."
"… How the fuck have you made me feel sorry for this thick bastard?"
Baelor vaguely listened to Maekar repeat Baelor's question as he grabbed a bottle of lube, pondered his upcoming plans then grabbed a few more. It wouldn't hurt to be prepared.
Dunk squeaked through the phone, nervous babbling which Baelor couldn't make out. The tone was easily placed, however. He'd born witness to Dunk in the throes of embarrassment enough times to recognise it.
His brother snorted into the phone. "He won't answer, but I have a feeling the answer is 'yes'." Maekar's voice turned fainter. "What, do you think the small ones are going to work?"
His partner's mortified voice drifted into Baelor's ears, rapid denials and further rejections of his own words. It was rather adorable to listen to. Baelor could imagine the tall man was shaking his head back and forth, face red as he waved his arms around wildly.
"Let's go with the biggest ones," came Maekar's dry voice.
"Wonderful!" Baelor grabbed a couple of boxes and headed to pay. "Please let Dunk know I'll be home after seven."
Maekar sighed heavily. "I hate you so fucking much. I hope he fucks you so hard that he breaks your back."
The call ended on the sound of Dunk shrieking and Baelor chuckled to himself, slipping his phone away and immediately picturing his evening plans.
He hoped his brother was right about Dunk fucking him hard.
Baelor gasped and rolled up into the younger man, fucking into the fist around his cock as Dunk split him open again. Leaning over him and thrusting in deep, blue eyes locked onto him and not looking away.
He groaned at how full he felt, his brain vaguely pointing out that he had in fact been right about Dunk being in proportion. He'd needed to be stretched thoroughly to take the other man, the length that inspired many vulgar thoughts in Baelor's mind.
"Baelor … I'm close …" Dunk's jaw clenched tight, his other hand holding onto Baelor's thigh to hold him open. "I'm - shit!"
He laughed breathlessly. "I think you'll find yourself in good company there." Baelor's fingers twitched where he was holding onto impressive biceps. "A bit more, Dunk. Just a little."
The hand around him tightened and moved quicker, a wet slide eased by copious lube and Baelor's own leaking. Dunk leaned down and took Baelor's lips in a kiss, chaste yet heated. His eyes slipped shut and he jolted when the other man's hips moved faster, thrusting hard enough that Baelor could feel it shoot through his entire body.
A thumb swiped his slit as he spasmed, back arching and coming against that broad hand. His voice was loud and echoed around when he shouted his release into the other man's face, fingers digging into hard muscles.
He was barely aware of Dunk seizing above him, jerking movements and a loud groan signalling his own climax. The enormous length pulsing inside and pressing against that spot which made him hiss from the sensitivity and feel lightheaded.
Dunk's arms were shaking and Baelor pulled him down, shushing him when he complained about his weight. "I rather enjoy having you on top of me, you know."
"I can't believe you're saying that with a straight face."
"I think it's clear by now that no part of me is straight."
The other man just snorted into Baelor's chest, burying his face in the tanned skin and winding his arms around Baelor's shoulders.
"You're a pain in the arse is what you are."
Baelor ignored the obvious joke to be made there and dropped a small kiss on Dunk's damp hair, closing his eyes as he felt the lethargy take over, his body aching in a way it hadn't in years.
Not surprising considering he'd been right about the size they'd needed.