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Some part of me must have died The first time that you called me baby
And some part of me came alive The first time that you called me baby
˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖
Shuddering breath escaped Sirius’ lips at the feeling of Remus’ fingers brushing his skin. It wasn’t even that erotic but just the fact that it was Remus doing that did the trick. He didn’t even know that it was possible to feel so on edge. It wasn’t as if it was his first hookup but it never felt right whenever he was with other people before, so maybe that’s why it was so shocking.
He never felt the need to do, anything, if he was being honest. With Remus though, it felt as if he might burst every moment they touched.
Their lips brushed gently against each other and after few minutes, Remus tentatively moved his affections to Sirius’ jawline. He needed to bite his lips to avoid embarrassing sound escape, which was unedifying enough for him to blush. How can he survive in this conditions?
Fuck— if he thought that was bad, Remus placed a kiss in the crook of his neck, hair brushing against his earlobe, which made him shiver.
“Moons—“, Sirius mumbled desperately, which obviously gave Remus the wrong impression, being the overthinker of the year he was.
He pulled away slightly just to look at sirius with worried expression.
“Alright? Did I do something wrong?”, Remus, that stupid boy had a audacity to ask, when all Sirius wanted was to fucking ravish him. Or be ravished, semantics.
A small bubble of laughter escaped his lips and he gently brushed hair from Remus’ face.
“No— no, that’s really good”, he muttered breathlessly, his pupils wide.
„Yeah?”, the smile Remus gave him was so unbearably sweet that Sirius almost forgot how to breathe. Leaving small peck on his lips, Remus’ hand moved slowly under Sirius’ shirt, „Is that alright?” he whispered.
Sirius was silent for a moment, or rather tried to stay silent as his traitorous mouth was ready to let out another embarrassing noise. He just nodded, biting his lips.
Remus’ fingers were long and warm, making Sirius’ skin prickle and spazm with every little touch.
„You’re shaking”, he whispered from between his collarbones, as if he wasn’t sure if that was a good sign.
Sirius couldn’t take it anymore. He indeed was shaking like a leaf even though nothing happened. Nothing happened yet. Sirius could feel the energy shifting though. After few months of kissing in dusty broom cupboards or close calls in their shared dorm, it felt like something might finally happen and Sirius was desperate for it. He was tense and his lower stomach hurt from arousal.
„Moony”, he whispered nervously as he tilted his head to look into his eyes. What he saw was pure need mixed with nerves as well which made him feel a little better, a little braver too. He found it in himself to grind against Remus. There was no denying now how affected he was.
„Fuck”, Remus groaned softly, feeling Sirius on him. „Do you–" he started to speak but was met with crashing kiss and mumbled „Yes.”
Remus wrapped his arm around Sirius’ lower back, pulling him closer. He could feel him, and his hips almost buckled with the urge to get even closer. His hands moved under his shirt, touching smooth skin, trying to memorize every curve, every little detail.
“Take it off”, Sirius whispered shakily and Remus didn’t waste a moment, helping Sirius out of his shirt.
With the fabric gone, he couldn’t help but move away slightly just to look at him. The rise and fall of his chest, rosy pink nipples, few freckles over his side that looked like small constellation, that Remus couldn’t help but trace with his finger. He wasn’t doing much, awestruck by what laid under him. So beautiful. He could do it for the eternity and never get tired.
Sirius was blushing, face red from the attention. He never felt shy before – didn’t thought much about how his body looked but under Remus’ scrutinized gaze, he couldn’t help but squirm.
Remus looked at him then, honey brown eyes boring into his. “You’re so lovely. Do you know how lovely you are?”, Remus asked as he lowered himself to finally pay attention to new uncovered skin, leaving soft kisses on his chest – right where Sirius’ heart was beating loudly.
Sirius was breathing unsteadily, his hand grasping the bedsheets, the other one cradling Remus’ face. When another half whine escaped Sirius lips, Remus stopped his ministrations to look at him.
“What do you want? Please, tell me what you want”, Remus asked, knowing that whatever it was, he would do anything to make it happen but Sirius was shaking his head, overwhelmed with everything that they were doing.
“Anything. Please, anything. Just you. You. Just you”, he was mumbling, incoherent in a way that made Remus’ heart tug (and dick grow).
Remus didn’t know what he was doing, his only experience coming from lonely attempts of getting himself off. They were both boys, did it mean that it would work the same? Idiot, he chastised himself for being so closed minded. Obviously people have preferences. He started panicking, realizing that he have no idea what Sirius’ preferences might be. In a moment of bravery he decided to share his fears out loud.
“I don’t know what I’m doing”, he mumbled quietly, feeling his face heating up but Sirius seemed to lighten up at his awkwardness.
“Thank god, I don’t know what I’m doing either. I’ve never – done anything like this before. What if I’m utter shit?”, Sirius frowned as if he was personally wronged by the possibility.
Remus chuckled, not being able to picture Sirius as anything besides perfect in anything he does.
He cradled his face stealing one kiss, “You won’t”, kissed him twice, “Although, if you are, I might actually feel better about it. One thing you could suck at.”
Mischievous smile appeared on Sirius’ face, “There are other things I could suck.”
Remus huffed, trying not to think too much about the insinuation. “Wanker”, he muttered and Sirius smiled proudly, as if he was offered greatest compliment.
“We could just do that”, Sirius muttered softly, his hand playing with Remus’ hair, the other grazing on his shoulder, “See how it goes, right?”
“Right”, Remus muttered softly, even though he wasn’t sure if it was that easy with the knowledge he had, or the lack of it.
So they kissed, soft at first but quickly turning into something more passionate and heated. Somewhere between the kisses, Remus’ shirt has been stripped away from him. It wasn’t long before their pants got in a way and they took them off as well. Remus grinded against Sirius and the noise he let out was pornographic and went straight to Remus’ cock.
“Want to touch you”, Sirius panted, even though he already was touching Remus. His hands moving constantly as if he lost the grip of them and they had a mind on their own. Remus knew what he meant though and with nerve wrenching anticipation, he nodded. Sirius bit his lip as his hands wandered lower, taking his time – moving down his stomach, paying extra focus to his abdomen and a soft happy trail he discovered, then lower to where the fabric of Remus’ boxers stretched tightly. Through the thin cotton, he could surely feel how hard Remus was. And god, was he hard. Sirius’ eyes gone wide as he sat abruptly, almost knocking remus off the bed.
“Hey!” Remus started, stabilizing himself on the bed. He didn’t understand what happened but Sirius cut him off quickly.
“What the hell?” His arms were crossed, looking at Remus as if he was waiting for explanation.
“What do you mean what the hell?” Remus frowned, feeling slightly nervous that somehow his dick offended his boyfriend to the point of almost knocking him off the bed.
Sirius huffed, “Why didn’t you tell me that you’re so— hung?” He was glaring at him, eyes moving between Remus’ face and his groin as if he couldn’t decide what to look at.
Remus couldn’t help but laughed at the absurd of the situation. “Pardon?”, He asked instead and sirius huffed again.
“Don’t pardon me, mister. I’m asking once again, why didn’t you tell me? What the hell Moony?”
“Is it…a bad thing?”, Remus asked tentatively, not really sure if he should worry or if it was Sirius being difficult.
“Jesus fucking christ, yes! No! Yes! I don’t know! I just don’t know what to do with all that”, Sirius gestured at remus’ still covered cock.
“You don’t have to do anything about it”, Remus was trying to give him respectful approach, even though he looked down to himself as if he too was betrayed by the size of his cock.
“But I want to! Jesus, Remus. You’re so dense sometimes”, he started squirming again, as if he couldn’t stay in place any longer. Well, he couldn’t since the second later he was on Remus, grinding against him with a low pitched moan. “That’s just so— unfair. You’re so hot. I don’t even know how to take all that.”
The friction was delicious and Remus couldn’t help but move his hips to match Sirius’ moves. He could feel him tensing and wrapping himself around him more tightly. Remus couldn’t stop thinking about it, how it would feel to be inside Sirius.
Would it fit? How people make it fit?
Sirius whined into his neck, high pitched thing and Remus realized that he said that out loud. Fuck.
“We could make it fit, I could make it fit. For you – anything”, Sirius pressed against him as if to prove something.
Even though they were still in their underwear, their hips were rocking, moving more and more uncoordinated and Remus could feel something building. Not yet, he chanted to himself but he knew it was a lost cause. Now, with the way Sirius was grinding against him, breathing soft noises into his ear. He wasn’t strong enough to last and subliminally he started stressing that he will never get to the sex part in his life if that was his reaction to grinding against his boyfriend.
“Sirius. Sweetheart”, he mumbled and Sirius shuddered against him, endearments apparently making wonders on him.
“Moons”, he gasped sharply as his body shuddered and with a loud moan he collapsed into Remus. His breathing was still shaky as he was coming down from his high. Oversensitivity took over making him tremble in Remus’ lap. A soft motion building tension in Remus, knowing that he too is at the verge of bursting but not wanting to make any moves not to overwhelm Sirius.
His breathing was shaky and he gasped when Sirius’ trembling hand moved down between them and added very needed pressure to the sensitive spot. Few moves of his hand and Remus was tipping over the edge, groaning, hiding his face in Sirius’ neck in attempt to muffle any sounds he made.
They panted unsteadily, trying to catch their breaths and get their head around what happened. Soft giggle escaped Sirius’ mouth and Remus started at him, his face flushed, pleased with a softest smile. Awestruck expression on his face, as he nuzzled his nose against Remus.
„Not so bad huh?”, he murmured, “Although we’re topping this next time. Less clothes, more body. I want to meet mini moony better, cause I’m polite like that”, he smirked, none indication of said politeness on his face.
Remus groaned and pushed him off gently, flipping him a bird. “Wasn’t described as mini few minutes ago if i remember correctly”, he huffed with amusement.
“Oh shut it, don’t encourage me. I have plenty of vigor to meet him properly”, Sirius grinned, muffling yawn, which was endearing enough for Remus to lie beside him and kiss his temple.
“I’m sure of that”, Remus muttered into his hair, smiling affectionately.