Chapter Text
Gon jiggled his leg as he leaned against the cement wall. It was a nice day outside- one of those super nice afternoons with endless blue skies and the warm, early summer air filled with the sound of birds chirping. It was Gon’s favorite kind of day.
But he couldn’t care less about things like the weather or the birds or the sun while he was waiting outside the hospital. He felt like he’d been here forever, his jittery anticipation making him jolt every time the hospital front doors slid open. But the clock on his cell phone proved that he’d only arrived an hour ago even after checking it for the millionth time. And as much as he hated it, Gon knew he would wait forever as long as he could be there when Killua’s appointment with his brother was finally over.
Killua had told him not to come at first.
“I don’t know how long it’s going to take,” he had warned. “You’ll be bored just waiting around for me with nothing to do. Plus, it’s a school day. Won’t your aunt get mad at you for skipping?”
Gon shook his head. “That doesn’t matter. I want to be there for you, Killua. So, I will.”
Killua had flushed at that, a pretty pink blossoming across pale cheeks. The small smile that tugged at his lips told Gon that Killua was secretly happy, even if Killua would never admit it out loud. Killua was still shy when it came to stuff like that. After all, it had taken him years just to confess his feelings for Gon. And that was only after Gon had already confessed and Killua himself was on the brink of death from his Hanahaki.
Gon’s mind immediately flashed back to the horrible memory of Killua choking on marigolds last Saturday night: skin ashen, bulging blue eyes while his mouth opened and closed like a fish, desperate for oxygen that was blocked by petals of harsh reds and blinding yellows.
No.
Gon’s nails dug into his palms. He slowly exhaled and waited for the painful twist of his heart to lessen.
Killua was okay. He hadn’t died, he was fine and breathing and alive. He hadn’t gotten anywhere close to suffocation in the past few days; the only petals Killua had coughed up since their first kiss were withered and dry, nearly brown in color.
He and Gon hadn’t even done much in the past few days since their emotional confessions to make the flower shrivel up so fast. The biggest thing had been when Gon took Killua to the beach Sunday night; they had walked the boardwalk hand in hand, watching the sunset while eating ice cream. Killua’s lips tasted like chocolate chips and his fingers were sticky in the cooling air, but that was all fine and good and amazing because it was Killua.
Being with Killua like that made Gon feel like the luckiest person alive. And he knew his best friend felt the same because the marigolds in Killua’s throat were finally, finally dying. And that could only mean Killua believed Gon’s love and he loved Gon in return.
A giddy feeling bubbled up inside Gon’s chest. His face warmed and he grinned stupidly at his sneakers.
Killua loved him. Hearing that for the first time from Killua’s mouth had caused such an overwhelming rush of happiness through him that Gon had nearly cried. Even now, days later, knowing that Killua loved him made Gon want to jump for joy and yell from the top of his lungs.
It felt like a dream, dating Killua. And Gon never wanted it to end. Just looking at Killua, having the freedom and permission to reach over and press his lips to Killua’s cheek, interlock their fingers and hug the thin teen to his chest just because he could…it was better than Gon ever imagined. Gon felt like he was drunk on happiness, high on life, and it was all because of Killua.
Being in a relationship was new to both of them, but caring for each other and being best friends wasn’t. They were still Gon and Killua like they had always been, there was just more to their relationship now. Most of the changes had felt natural and easy; other details they were still working on. But they had time to figure everything out and Gon wasn’t worried about how long it would take.
The single, most important thing about the new development between them was that he and Killua were learning to love together. They were awkward and shy and hesitant, but they were finally talking everything out, growing closer through their struggles instead of running away from them and hurting each other in the process.
He and Killua were breathing instead of suffocating now, living instead of dying. They were facing the future hand in hand and Gon knew nothing would separate them after the hell they’d been through in the past couple of months.
And as long as that was true, he and Killua could do just about anything.
BANG!
Gon’s head snapped up, heart jumping into his throat.
And there was Killua, shoes pounding on the walkway as he sprinted through the hospital doors. His open jacket whipped around his waist and there was a wild look in his bright blue eyes that made Gon’s pulse start to race.
Gon leaped off the cement wall just in time for Killua to slam straight into his chest.
The air left his lungs at the impact and he stumbled back a step to keep them from falling over. He inhaled sharply even as Killua’s arms wrapped tightly around his neck. He could feel Killua’s torso heaving against his, the way he clung so close to Gon that their bodies lined up perfectly from head to toe.
He could even feel the lightning-quick pace of Killua’s heartbeat. Was that a good thing, or bad?
“Killua?” Gon asked, breathless. “Killua, are you okay? What happen-”
Cool lips shoved against his before he could finish his question. Killua’s mouth was eager, insistent. He didn’t give Gon even a second to recover from the sudden kiss; he just pressed himself harder into Gon’s body like he wanted to melt into him and never, ever separate. By the time Killua pulled back nearly a minute later, Gon’s head was dizzy from lack of oxygen and blood roared in his ears.
Not that he was complaining or anything. He would choose Killua kissing the life out of him over air any day.
When Gon slowly blinked his eyes open, the only thing he saw was the stunning blue of Killua’s eyes. They shimmered and glowed with an inner light that filled Gon with a weightless warmth.
Gon stammered out, “I’m- I’m taking that as a good sign?”
Killua threw back his head and laughed. It sounded like bells and chimes and-
“You should, Gon!” The smile he gave Gon was dazzling, stunning in the way it radiated pure joy. “Gon, Illumi, he- he examined me and looked at the flower and! And it’s almost gone.”
Gon’s jaw dropped. “You mean- it’s dead? The marigolds aren’t growing anymore?”
“Yes! Yes, yes, yes! They even brought in a second doctor for another opinion- Leorio, something- and he said that they’ll be completely out of my body within another week! And there’s no way they can perform the surgery with those results!”
Gon’s heart swelled until it felt like it was going to burst. He grabbed Killua around his middle, picking the thinner teen up effortlessly, and spun him around in a circle. His cheeks hurt with how wide he was smiling but he couldn’t care less about that when the love of his life was laughing in his arms, beaming down at Gon through the happy tears building up his eyes.
“Killua!” Gon yelled ecstatically, because Killua’s name was the only thing he could think of right now. “Killua, Killua, Killua!”
His best friend choked out, “Gon.”
“Killua!”
“Gon.”
“Killua-”
Elegant fingers grasped his face and then Killua was kissing him again, mouth sweet and soft and perfect. Killua had the height advantage but Gon kissed back as he best he could without dropping his boyfriend. Their noses bumped against each other and their teeth clacked but Gon had never tasted anything better than Killua’s laughter on his tongue. It was addicting to have Killua so close like this, to have their shared happiness buzzing in the air around them and Gon wished they could stay like this forever.
And now, after hearing that news, they could.
He slowed to a stop before gently lowering Killua back to the ground. Killua’s nails dug into the muscles on his back, refusing to let Gon move even an inch away. For a while they just tried to catch their breath while staring into each other’s eyes.
Killua’s eyes really were the prettiest Gon had ever seen- gracefully curved and piercing in their intensity. But whenever Killua looked at Gon, they shifted and melded into something too gentle to put into words. There was a depth in them, too; sometimes Gon thought he could lose himself in Killua’s endless blue gaze and never come back to himself.
Killua’s eyes were beautiful, breathtaking, just like everything else about him. And nothing made Gon happier than having that glimmering blue focused entirely on him like they were now.
“I figured it out,” Gon murmured finally, after a few moments had passed.
Killua raised an eyebrow. “Figured what out, exactly?”
“I figured out why I love you!”
Shock flitted across Killua’s expression, chasing away the previous tenderness. “Wh-what?! What the hell does that mean?!”
“I mean-” Gon giggled at the indignant look on his boyfriend’s face and squished Killua even closer to his chest to keep him from squirming away. “I mean, Killua, I’m happy when I’m with you!”
Killua’s cheeks darkened. “I, uh. I would hope so? I- I mean, ugh.” He hid behind his hands with a drawn-out groan. “Damnit, Gon. Why do you always have to be so embarrassing?”
“It’s only embarrassing because you think so, Killua!” Gon nuzzled his forehead to Killua’s warmer one. Killua’s bangs were silky where they brushed his skin. “And you don’t have to say anything! I just mean that I’m happiest when I’m with you. No one else makes me laugh or smile as much as you do. You make living more fun. Just having you by my side makes me feel lighter, somehow!”
“So that’s why I fell in love with you: because you make me happier than anyone else in the world! No one else can do that, only you.”
Killua’s ears were turning bright red by now. Gon could hear his heavy breathing behind his fingers, feel the warmth radiating off his skin at their proximity.
“You’re ridiculous,” he whispered but Gon could hear the smile through his tone alone.
“That’s okay! As long as you still want to go out with me, I’m fine with that.”
Killua sputtered. “Of course I do, stupid! I have fun with you too, you know!”
Gon paused, absorbing Killua’s words and enjoying the way his heart sped up at their meaning. He loved it when Killua was honest like that. Still, he couldn’t help from teasing him just a little bit-
“You have fun with me, huh?” he asked suggestively and his grin grew at the way Killua’s breath hitched. “Are you just saying that, or is it a promise for the future? Hmmm?”
“You!” Killua punched Gon in the shoulder. Hard. “Shut up!!! We were having a nice moment- why did you have to go and say that and make everything weird?!”
“Ah, ow- because, you’re fun to tease!”
Killua scowled. “If you keep it up, you can go find someone else to date because I’m not gonna-”
“Nooooo, Killua!” Gon dragged Killua back before he could take two steps away. “I’m sorry! You’re just so cute when you get all flustered like that!”
Killua begrudgingly looked back at Gon. Gon was gentle when he reached up to hold Killua’s face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs lightly over scarlet-stained cheeks. A few strands of Killua’s starlight hair had fallen into his eyes and Gon carefully brushed them out of the way before replacing his hands on Killua’s jaw.
Even just doing something like that made him happier than he had been in a long time. Killua made him feel…right, somehow. Whole, complete. He couldn’t fully describe the impact Killua had on him because loving Killua wasn’t something that could be captured in words. But he knew that without Killua, the world was a much colder place. And that wasn’t a world he was interested in.
“Please, stay with me?” he asked. “Your flower is gone, so, will you stay with me?”
Killua huffed and his skin warmed under Gon’s palms. “You don’t have to ask me that. You already know the answer.”
“Mmm, yeah, I guess. But it’s still nice to hear.”
He smiled cheekily and let go as Killua slumped into his chest.
“You’re so difficult,” he grumbled into Gon’s collarbone. “Yes, I’ll stay with you. As if I would ever say anything else after everything we’ve been through. I’m with you for as long as you’ll have me, Gon.”
Gon’s heart flipped. “So, forever then?”
Killua stiffened. “What?”
“You said you’ll be with me for as long as I want you. And I want you forever.”
“You- you can’t just assume something like that!” Killua squeaked.
“I’m not assuming! I just know what I want, Killua.” He wound his arms around Killua’s waist, silently loving the way Killua melted into his embrace. This, having Killua surrender to his touch and return it in even the subtlest of ways, was something Gon knew he would never get tired of.
He sighed happily and nuzzled his face into Killua’s hair. He said honestly, “I want you. Now and forever. Nothing’s ever going to change that.”
Killua let out a long, shuddering breath. “Let’s just take it one day at a time for now, okay? I mean, I just learned that I’m not dying from Hanahaki. I’m going to need to process that for a bit.”
“M’kay. I’m fine with whatever you want.” He paused and a thought occurred to him. “Hey, Killua?”
“Hm?” Killua hummed into his skin and Gon just held back a shudder; that had felt so nice, he almost lost his train of thought.
“…what made you believe me?” he asked. “When I said I loved you on Saturday? I’m just curious.”
Killua was quiet. When he leaned back, it was to look at Gon with eyes that shined like stars in the golden light of the summer sun.
“It’s not that I believed you, exactly,” Killua said slowly. “It’s kind of hard to explain, but I believed in you. I believed in your words, in your actions- everything leading up to that moment on Saturday night fit. And it’s then that I realized…”
He took a deep breath. Then Killua smiled, eyes crinkling up at the ends, and said sincerely:
“I believe in us, Gon. I wanted there could be a you and me for so long that it stopped me from seeing what was right in front of me. And after everything you said that night, I finally understood: we had been together all along, and I was just too blind to see it. Your words healed me, Gon. And I will always love you for that.”
Gon’s eyes burned and his throat tightened. Killua was gazing at him as if Gon was his everything and Gon’s heart lurched at the clear, unabashed love he saw there. Every part of Gon’s body ached with the need to be with his best friend, the person he loved more than anything in the entire world, the person who loved him back with just as much adoration as Gon had for him.
He cupped Killua’s face and kissed him. He kissed Killua like it was the first time, like it was the last time, like kissing Killua meant he could save him from himself, even though it already had.
He kissed Killua, and Killua came to life under his touch.
“‘I believe in you.’ Words that water flowers.”
-Michael Faudet