Bad Omensss
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There was a squeak by his foot, and Crowley cracked one eye open to see the rat from before sitting in front of him, clutching a small, tarnished key in its mouth. Crowley blinked.
“Huh,” he said. He was used to his schemes coming back to bite him in the ass, but this was the first time something demonic he had done seemed like it would actually end up helping him. The rat squeaked and then scurried up his arm, depositing the key to his manacles into his hand before returning to the floor.
“Well,” Crowley murmured, a plan forming in his mind as his fingers curled around the key. He snapped his fingers, freeing himself with a miracle, and collapsed with a grateful sigh to sit properly on the floor. “Now,” he said, looking at the rat in front of him with a sharp smile. “How many friends might you have on this ship?”
[Over the years, Crowley's made some furry friends. Having an army of rats comes in handy, sometimes]
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The thing was, even after Crowley Fell, Heaven forgot to delete his login to their system.
The only half interesting thing he had ever found in Heaven’s archives was their newspaper, even though it was a dreadfully dull rag. But even then, Crowley was never inspired to truly interfere with the Celestial Observer’s contents until the late 1600s, when advice columns were invented on Earth.
As always, brilliant inspiration struck him like… like whatever inspiration strikes like. So Crowley resolved to meddle, just as a side project. Maybe if he got enough angels heated at each other, he could report it as a victory to Hell. Anyway, Dagon had always liked gossip, and the Celestial Observer’s new advice column was a ready source of that.
It was pure genius.
[Crowley, demon of Hell, becomes Heaven's foremost advice columnist]
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Elena was on her way home from class when she happened to turn her head at just the right moment and saw it through the window of the bookshop.
It being a large, black snake curled up on a chair in the last patches of quickly fading sunlight.
Elena jerked to a stop with a gasp, right in the middle of the pavement. She all but pressed her face to the window, studying the snake curiously. It was quite large, even coiled as it was in its big leather armchair, and although its golden eyes appeared to be open, she could tell that it was probably snoozing. “What a beautiful creature,” Elena said to herself in a hushed, awed voice, and then made the snap decision to go inside the shop for another look.
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A Guide to Fame for the Enterprising Demon by asideofourown
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
06 Jan 2020
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tildeathdoustogether
ok friends so i know we all joke about, like john mulaney and keanu reeves and hozier being immortals, but… i really think we gotta add anthony j. crowley to that listthelongest27yearsofmylife reblogged and said:
Christ, Beth, Anthony Crowley is an increasingly popular, openly queer creator with explicitly queer rep in his work that’s really important to some people, can you not make this into a meme for ONCE in your life?tildeathdoustogether reblogged and said:
you think i’m joking but. i’m not. l i s t e n i did not get a history degree for nothing, i have RECEIPTS. buckle in kiddos this is a wild ride[Crowley accidentally gets a bit famous, and the internet figures out he may be a bit immortal]
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Without any more assignments coming from Downstairs, Crowley is struck with a bad case of the doldrums.
It takes a bit of trial and error, but eventually a solution is found.
(Or: the one where Crowley becomes an Uber driver.)