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if you could do it all again (I’d be someone that you never met) by nonalovesyou
Fandoms: The Long Walk (Movie 2025)
30 Mar 2026
Tags
Summary
When he squints up, it’s Jan standing there.
It’s a funny thing, to see her and know, logically, that she’s beautiful, but not feel it. Jan is all-American kind of beautiful. Like Stebbins. Not like a movie star or a model, but the every-man kind of girl they’d put on a poster to convince guys to sign up for the military.
“Hi,” she says, “Ray.”
Months after the Walk, months of recovery, and Ray waits outside a store for Pete. Things spiral from there.
Series
- Part 7 of The Wish AU
Bookmarked by sssnowjanus
05 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Pete’s the most beautiful man in the world. His feet and knees and legs are fucked, like Ray’s, but he still walks tall. Confident. Cool. And the world’s been so unkind to him, hurt him in so many ways. If Ray’s life means anything, if god or the universe or whatever put him on earth to do any one thing, it’s to love Pete McVries.
♡
They issued him a new identification card in the hospital, but he couldn’t do much with it. Can’t drive, can’t open a bank account. Everything he had transferred to his Mom, or to Pete. Raymond Garraty isn’t a person anymore, in the eyes of the United States government; he’s a granted Wish.
♡
He could see how she and Hank were made for each other. And the baby! Baby Art. Cute as a fucking button. Pete held that baby for hours, smiling and cooing down at that little face that looked mostly like what Ray remembers Hank’s face looking like. And, fuck, the sight of Pete with a baby? It made Ray feel like a fucking bitch in heat. If he’d had a pussy, it would’ve been sopping wet. He’d said something stupid like Pete, I want one, even though he’s never once liked the idea of bringing kids into this goddamn awful fucked up world, and Pete had said well, shit, Ray, we can certainly try. It made Clementine laugh, big and loud and boisterous like her dead husband, but it made Mom excuse herself from the room to go cry on her lonesome.
♡
Sometimes, he wishes he could talk to other men like them, other men like him, to find out if any of this is normal or if there are kinder words for what the are, what they do, than the ones he’s been taught. Do other men fall in love with men and want them like this, or is he really some kind of sex-crazed freak? Are there any people out there, men or women like them, who’ve managed to make a real go of it? Is there a happily ever after? Or will he always feel like he’s doing something terrible to Pete just by loving him?
♡
It’s real manly work, the kind of shit his mom always struggled with, and part him has a stupid sense of satisfaction to still be able to fill that space for her. To show her that, even if he’s a queer, it doesn’t mean he’s useless as a man.
He’s useless in other, disconnected ways.
[…]
God, Ray’s in love with him.
♡
[…] but Jan’s the girl Ray was planning on marrying, the girl he tried so fucking hard to live and just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He had to shake her hand and smile and be polite because a guy like Pete can’t be anything less than on his very best behavior when talking to a girl like Jan.
God, he must be going crazy about it.
♡
Ray can’t drive anymore, but he can hold Pete’s hand over the gearshift, where nobody can see, and that’s feels almost as free as when he got his license for the first time. Maybe they’ll pull over on the drive home and Ray can give him a big, sloppy kiss. He’d kiss Pete every minute of every day, if he could.
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Summary
Collie thought that he would be happy to see Barkovitch get his ticket, he thought that he couldn’t wait to finally be rid of that asshole. Barkovitch, the loud mouth prick, had been the bane of everyone’s existence since the Walk started, but now that he was gone, Collie felt a deep, aching emptiness that he didn’t know what to do with.
Bookmarked by sssnowjanus
04 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
All of these soldiers surrounding them thought they were doing the right thing by just following orders. Mindless drones pointing and shooting without ever questioning why, without ever considering that each one of these boys they’re murdering has someone out there who loves them, who will mourn them for the rest of their lives.
If he lived, Collie knew he would mourn for every single one of them for the rest of his life. He would even mourn for Gary fucking Barkovitch.
♡
Their bodies may be miles apart, but their souls would continue to walk. Together.
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Tags
Summary
Omegas on the Isle of the Lost are ripped to pieces, so Carlos will spend the rest of his life pretending to be a beta.
Or: 5 times Carlos De Vil lied about being an omega (and the 1 time he didn't have to)
Author's Note: This fic is currently on hold so I can focus on the Grin and Bear It sequel. Autophobia is not abandoned or discontinued.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 77,890
- Chapters:
- 6/7
- Comments:
- 557
- Kudos:
- 3,406
- Bookmarks:
- 655
- Hits:
- 54,833
Bookmarked by sssnowjanus
02 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
On his skin, just under his collar bone, is Cruella De Vil is messy cursive. It had been a metal stamper, one Carlos has polished many times, from her fashion days. By dipping it in ink, she approved designs and model shows, she hired and fired employees, she agreed to business proposals and company expansions.
By holding it above her lighter —the one she screeched at finding in the sink— she seared her signature into Carlos skin permanently.
♡
Carlos tries not to flinch. He’s gone a whole week without getting hit or dragged or scratched, but her signature still aches on his chest, it is the only thing he can focus on when he undresses, mocking him in the giant, clean mirrors of Auradon bathrooms.
It doesn’t matter how often Mal or Jay or Evie scent him. Cruella’s burn on him is everlasting, it won’t fade in time.
She marked him first.
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Tags
Summary
“So,” Jay mocks, “I came to rescue you.”
“But why?” There’s no logic in any of this. Jay is a thief, not one with a heart of gold, just a thief. He’s selfish and cunning, quick and careless. Why in the hell would he stop by to help?
Jay leans closer, one foot braced against the locker in the most nonchalant, relaxed pose that Carlos envies. “Because,” he sings, “I want something from you.”
(Or, Carlos might kind of be a prostitute in the loosest sense of the word.)
Bookmarked by sssnowjanus
02 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
“Don’t act dumb, I know that you’re not,” Jay bites and Carlos hardly has time to recognize a possible compliment before- “you do it all the time with Princess Blueberry.”
“Do what?” Um, ew, Evie is Evie, not some sexual partner.
“That thing where you put your arms around each other!”
Carlos stares at him in bewildered silence. “What now?”
“You know,” Jay whispers, looking around in a way that Carlos can accurately call nervous, “where you two stand next to each other and you wrap your arms around her and she wraps her arms around you.”
“You mean… a… hug?”
Jay nods and twirls one of his rings.
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Honesty will wreck this point that we made by jannika
Fandoms: Descendants (2015), The Isle of Lost - Melissa de la Cruz
02 Aug 2015
Tags
Summary
A kiss for a treasure, Jay thinks. One of the first things Jay is taught in life is how to steal.
Or, loosely, five things Jay learns on the island and one he learns in Auradon. Jay/Carlos. Feelings.
Series
- Part 1 of Float like a pretty box of your evil
Bookmarked by sssnowjanus
01 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Before he can write a single word with his own hand, Jay wonders what would be worse, what would upset his father more: if he came home with his pockets empty, or if he never came home at all. Hidden in an alley door, so small he doesn’t even have to crouch and stomach growling, he knows the answer. And he always, always remembers it.
♡
He had not known, had never known, had never had any reason to know, that a person could be a treasure. It’s an expression, he thinks, to treasure someone, and he’s never thought that was a real thing. But in this moment with Carlos, who can make magic from science, with Carlos who can always make him laugh, with Carlos who knows everything about him, with Carlos who is generous despite having nothing, with Carlos who stood up to his mother and conquered his fears and, with Carlos who is, well. Carlos. With Carlos, Jay is certain that a person can be a treasure.
A kiss for a treasure. He’d been right all along, just maybe a little twisted. A little backwards. He’s got it now.
A kiss for a treasure. A person can be a treasure.