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Jeonghan is twelve when he first realises that he isn't into women. The discovery makes him retreat into himself, isolate himself from the rest of his classmates.
He is eighteen, throwing up into a toilet after giving into his first real crush, when he decides to never give into his urges again, to at least try to be normal.
He is twenty-four when he stumbles upon Seungcheol having phone sex with his not-girlfriend, and everything comes undone.
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Tankhun tilted his head in curiosity, observing something on Kinn’s face. “Have you even told yourself how you feel about Porsche? Accepted your own feelings?”
“What do you expect me to say here?” Kinn asked, peeved. “This isn’t a movie or one of your stupid, contrived shows. What does that even mean, to accept my own feelings for him?” He scoffed at the words again. “How I feel is how I feel—it’s simple. But Porsche isn’t a possibility for me, Khun Nu. You have to know this. Whatever I feel for him, whatever stupid, misguided attachment I’ve formed to him, it’s meaningless. I can’t have him.”
[ But, as Kinn later learns, love rarely cares about can'ts and won'ts and shouldn'ts. Love simply is, and it will bring you to your knees—either in defeat or in devotion. ]
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Kinn, under pressure from the patriarch of the Theerapanyakun family, entices Porsche into entering a fake, contractual relationship with him. In return, Porsche gets money, a crisis of sexuality, and a headache.
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Home Remedies for Internalised Homophobia by verses
Fandoms: KinnPorsche: The Series (TV)
29 Jun 2024
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Now that April had said it out loud, the solution seemed so obvious. Of course the remedy to homophobia was to have gay sex with a gay man. Why didn't he think of it first?
[ or, Himbo!Porsche strikes again. ]
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If you were, Seungcheol’s voice looped endlessly, unwilling to let Jeonghan rest, to let him sleep, if you did end up pregnant…
Heartbeat speeding up inside his chest, Jeonghan felt himself flush, the cadence of Seungcheol’s voice still fresh with affection and hope in his mind. He reached down as he always did when Seungcheol’s words decided to haunt him again, and caressed a hand over the softness of his belly.
He let himself believe it for just a second.
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