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Alec stood stiffly in front of the familiar door, his heart aching as he prepared himself. He knew this was a stupid idea, it was actually rather pathetic, as the pity in his sister's eyes had shown.
He swallowed hard, a trembling hand knocking twice with more confidence than he felt.
It took a moment before it swung open and he kept his face carefully devoid of any emotion. Even the shock he felt at seeing all the people crowding the loft.
"Alec," the name fell from his lips, gripping the door tightly. "What are you doing here?"
All eyes were on him but he merely raised his head with what little energy he had.
"I'm, uh, sorry to interrupt, but I left my extra bow here and mine is - out of commission." A flash of devastation crossed his face for all eyes to see.
He couldn't help the pain of having his favorite and faithful bow ripped from his hands and snapped. And under the circumstances, there wasn't a chance in sight for them to take the time to fix it.
Magnus felt some of the rage that overcame him seeing the Shadowhunter at his home morph to sadness. Alec loved his bow, it was the one he'd had for so long.
It had broken two times in his life, once when he was fourteen and it was stepped on, fixed by Hodge - and a second not long after they started dating.
It had been torn in two on patrol and Alec had come home in despair, until Magnus easily fixed it for him.
His bow was the constant in his life. Through his parents, the pressure, his siblings, his sexuality crisis, and everything life threw at him in his short but hard life - he could escape and let it go with his bow and a few arrows.
Magnus forced his emotions far back behind the anger and betrayal he felt. He knew even before the deal with the Queen, it was irrational, all of this. And yet he couldn't keep himself from letting his emotions control his actions.
"Yes, well your spare is in ou - my room, I'll fetch it. Stay here." He finished firmly, leaving Alec to stand just inside the place he had become to see as home.
He stood with a heavy heart, feeling the eyes on him but ignoring them anyway.
In his bedroom Magnus internally cursed himself for his almost slip of words. This was no longer their bedroom, or their home.
This was his home where he slept alone without the adorable boy he fell in love with in his arms, without the little huffs of breath and occasional soft snores.
He gripped the bow gently in his hands, eyeing the hoodie belonging to his archer that was thrown over the back of a chair near the window. He should go around collecting all of the things left from Alec, give them back and never have to deal with this again.
But he ran his fingers over the soft fabric, lifting it up to inhale his angel's scent and walked out a second later with only the bow in his hands.
Just as he came through the hall, about to dismiss the Shadowhunter little footsteps rang out.
"Alec!" Much like earlier a small voice called out a name, the little girl quickly making her way to the archer, a small smile on her face.
Before anyone could grab her Alec's face lit up and he crouched down to catch her, hugging her. Magnus watched, heart melting at the happiness on both their faces.
It was far too familiar to his earlier reunion with the little girl.
"Hey Madzie." Alec cooed softly, an adoring smile on his face that surprised everyone in the room. He stood with her in his arms, swaying slightly before letting her sit back on his crossed arms to meet his eyes.
They had a small, very quiet conversation none of the others were privy too, irking a few.
It was the sound of a phone blaring that broke the comfortable quiet as the head of the institute and little warlock shared a sweet moment.
Alec's head raised and his cheeks flushed lightly, turning from the watchful eyes a little as if shielding her from them.
He clenched his jaw, annoyed that he let himself show such a weakness in front of a group of people ready to fight against him.
"Alec stays?" Madzie's little voice pulled him from his thoughts.
Alec ignored the way her words felt like a punch in the gut, crouching down to set her on the ground. He tapped her chin softly.
"I have to get home, I have to keep you safe." Her brows furrow but she nods slowly.
"But Magnus and your people will protect you from everything, so you don't worry about a thing. I'll try and visit you as soon as I can." He hopes she believes him, avoiding looking at anyone but her.
She reminds him so much of a younger Max and the way he would beg to follow him everywhere. And how he wished he could spend just a little longer with her.
But they were at war, and being near him was dangerous. He couldn't do that to her. He gave his most convincing smile, pressing a quick kiss on her forehead.
After their first meeting, her cute face and shyness endearing enough for him to be willing to fight the world for her. After their two full encounters, he found he cared deeply for her and wished he could get the chance to really know her.
But this wasn't that kind of world. And she belonged with Magnus, and her people.
He no longer had a place in this loft, with any of this. He didn't have Magnus
He stood and gave a polite nod to the gathered warlocks, who has said nothing as they watched, a few looking rather disturbed.
He couldn't help but look at Magnus just for a passing moment, and Alec's eyes filled with grief and all the love he held for him.
Magnus almost opened his mouth before Alec's phone was beeping uncontrollably and he sighed, lips pulled into a thin line.
He walked forward, very carefully taking the weapon from Magnus' limp hands. Their hands brushed and Alec shuddered against his will, backing away.
He opened the door and when he was half way out, turned back and smiled at Madzie who had a small pout on her face.
"Don't look so sad, you're going to be okay, remember when we met, what I said?" She gave a small nod.
"Your gills aren't just cool, they're who you are. And you're going to be a strong and beautiful girl, and I will see you grow into that." He tried to assure her, knowing the look on her face.
She was smart enough that she knew what will most likely happen. She heard what the adults whispered around her.
She knew she may never see Alec Lightwood again, but still he gave his strongest smile and did his best to assure her.
"We'll meet again, I promise." He was out the door in a flash, going to meet his team against whatever they had to deal with this time.
Back in the loft Madzie stared at the door for a moment, not speaking before she walked to where she had a coloring book on the couch.
She gave Magnus a look too deep and knowing for someone her age, but he merely ran a hand over her hair and made his way to the kitchen.
-
Alec shot arrow after arrow, bringing his leg up to kick the body away with a foreful kick. He panted, blood splattered on his face.
Magnus across town listened to his people talk about this new world they may not survive in, watching Madzie as she sat by Chairman looking up at the night sky.
Both unknowningly to the other prayed to anyone listening the love of their life would survive this war.
Neither got an answer, but somewhere someone has to be listening. This wasn't their ending.