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Tightening his hands into fists, Adam wills himself not to argue with the rambling boy sitting across from him speaking ridiculous nonsense about the way they should structure this essay.
Teamwork has and always will be pointless for Adam who believed the absence of it would be one of the many saving graces of university but apparently not.
Well in the group’s defence, it’s not as if Adam was forced to partake as it’s a voluntary study group he joined. A study group which had been successful until Proko joined their group as a friend of Swan’s.
Why Proko is here, Adam has no idea because the only time he’s not retelling some drunken story of his, he’s playing with the gold chain on his neck while leering at the studious and usually silent Swan who looks like he’s avoiding Proko’s gaze but Adam’s noticed them playing footsie under the small bar table more than once.
He does try and get involved in the group sometimes but only to insist that whatever misjudged point he made is correct or detailing all the wrong ways they should tackle the topic.
Whenever he does this, Adam has to grit his teeth and refrain from asking him when the last time he actually attended a lecture was.
Along with Proko’s addition to their study group, the accompanying negative change was that now they meet up in Greywaren’s bar once a week instead of in the nice, quiet, respectful library on campus.
Although Adam doesn’t drink, the temptation to chug down any form of alcohol just to stomach this guy’s rude comments for the hour and a half he’s forced to spend in his presence makes him almost give in.
And today that temptation comes to the edge of being too much.
Proko is ranting and raving about how their professor was incorrect that morning and how she’s really not teaching them well at all and “Well, what else is to be expected from her?” in a voice that would have made Adam’s friend Blue from his hometown launch into a forceful lecture.
While Adam values the other members of his study group, he really needs to do well in his Winter finals to keep his scholarship so he takes his books in his hands, stands up and mumbles something about needing to clear his head and a lie about how he’ll be back in a minute and walks towards the counter.
Propping himself up on a barstool, Adam dumps his books down, removes a pen from where it was perched on a page and begins to write the plan for the essay he and his study group were meant to have written together at last week’s meeting.
He’s finished the plan and is halfway through his third paragraph when he hears a cough above him.
Forcing his eyes upwards, Adam then immediately straightens his back and allows a bashful blush to overcome his face at the disapproving gaze of the bartender opposite him.
He’s seen the bartender around before of course.
Proko’s been taking them to this Irish pub for over a month and well when the bartender is tall, seems to live in black fitting jeans and tank tops and proudly displays his large intricate back tattoo while working here every week, it’s difficult not to notice him.
Plus Adam’s pretty sure Proko mentioned that this guy owns the place which Adam can’t fathom seeing as the man with a shaved head and blazing gaze looks about the same age as himself.
“I-sorry” Adam apologises, “I did buy a beer; I just…left it at the other table”
He did buy one, he didn’t drink any of it but he bought one anyway because he learned from the first three times they came here, Proko would interrogate him for an hour on why he dislikes alcohol if he didn’t at least pretend he’d drink some.
The bartender immediately glances behind Adam to where the study group still sits, chatting away about something that’s not their subject matter.
Adam refuses to wonder why this guy knew where he was sitting before because rationally he probably spotted Adam sitting there as it’s their usual table and it’s not a particularly large place so it would have been hard to miss him.
When he looks back at Adam, his expression is still as rigid and stony as it was before but then he shrugs, “I was just going to ask if you wanted to order anything.”
Adam blinks twice before saying, “Just water would be great, thanks”
Nodding, the bartender leaves and then brings him back a tall glass of ice water within a minute and it’s only after Adam gulps half of the cool water down that he realises just how dry his throat had been.
The bartender turns to take someone else’s order and Adam can’t convince himself to look away from the tattoo peeking out from the back of the man’s black tank top.
It looks large and Adam can imagine that it takes up most of the man’s back and how painful that must have been to get done. All he can see of the tattoo is the black ink forming branches that crawl up his left shoulder and across the back of his neck to where the head of a bird that appears to be raven sits atop of his right shoulder.
Everything about it is detailed and precise and Adam can’t help but feel fascinated by it but before he can begin to wonder what the tattoo transforms into under the man’s shirt, Adam forces himself to turn back to his essay, banishing thoughts of tree branches, ravens and prominent black ink from his mind entirely.
Adam stays at the bar until half an hour before closing time and an hour after his study group have already left. He hasn’t spoken another word to the bartender other than when he ordered two more glasses of water but as he leaves, he sends a soft, barely there smile before he turns with two completed essays and his textbook in hand and leaves.
He didn’t particularly think he’d return to the pub again, especially without his study group but three days later he found himself back on that same stool, his textbooks taking up half of the countertop and a glass of ice water in front of him.
For two hours he sits there, actually getting some work done for once despite the momentary standstill in his thought process when the middle aged women beside him lights up a cigarette, blind to the vibrant red and white non-smoking sign on the wall to her right.
The choking scent of cigarette smoke causes a hint of vomit to rise in Adam’s throat as he battles with his introverted nature to stay silent and the rising haunting memories tied to that smell.
He’s trying so hard to focus on his essay that he misses that same bartender making his way around the counter and asking with a hand on his hip and scowl on his face for the woman to either put her cigarette out or to get out herself.
Adam’s drawn out of his haze by the plump woman with short, curly dirty blonde hair talking back to the bartender about how she needs to smoke to calm her nerves and how dare he judge her but he simply silently stares right through her.
When she storms out, throwing her handbag strap over her shoulder, the bartender rolls his eyes and Adam hears him mutter “Fucking bitch” under his breath and when he catches Adam’s eyes on him, he merely smirks with more teeth than lips.
“Ronan!” A voice of one of the waitresses calls from the back and the bartender immediately looks towards her and nods, approaching her and leaving Adam to try and get back to his essay.
Ronan, well at least Adam now has a name to match the face.
The following week, Adam’s back with his old study group and thankfully they are actually getting a bit of work done this time so when Proko eagerly exclaims that he thinks it’s time for a break an hour into their study, Adam obliges and even goes to the counter to order everyone’s drinks.
Ronan’s at the counter again and when he spots Adam making his way towards him he takes down an clean glass from where they hang upside down above him.
“Water?” Ronan asks teasingly but there’s no hint of humour on his face.
Despite that, Adam still smiles, “Eh, yes please for me but could I also get an orange soda and four of ‘whatever beer’s the cheapest’ please”
Ronan snorts and makes his way around the bar, “Are you buying?”
Shaking his head, Adam explains, “That was their words actually; we’re just all broke college students.” And he hands over the money the group chipped in minutes before.
“Ah” Ronan says, placing the orange soda and ice water on the countertop before putting away the money Adam gave him into the till before working on the beers, “That explains the water then”.
Shrugging, Adam sees no point in lying so he says, “No I just don’t drink.”
The sound of pouring beer fills their space for a minute but when Ronan turns back to him his face is as unreadable as before.
“Probably for the best; I heard a shocking rumour that the stuff isn’t good for you.”
Adam blinks before replying, “It’s a pity you’re running a bar then”
Cocking an eyebrow at him, Ronan places the five drinks on a black circular tray and picks it up with one hand,
“I’ll bring them over; you guys seem to be working hard enough over there as it is.”
Adam’s not about to argue so he lets the bartender do his job and follows him back to his table and takes his seat.
As Ronan places the drinks down on the table, Proko snorts and raises an eyebrow at Adam,
“Water again, Parrish? Come on, I know we’re studying but you can live a little.”
Grinding his teeth, Adam remembers how badly he needs an A on this final to suppress the bubbling urge to walk out the door right then but suddenly is distracted by Ronan’s voice above them.
“By not drinking he’ll likely live a lot actually, my friend’s been reminding me of the death tolls among both alcoholics and casual drinkers for years. It was his way of trying to divert me away from drink, it didn’t work but nevertheless the likelihood is that Parrish here will live a lot longer than the rest of us” Ronan shoots an almost forced grin at Proko who simply stares blankly back at him.
Three things Adam knows about Ronan: he’s the bartender and rumoured owner of the Greywaren bar, he’s got a fascinating tattoo on his back that always catches Adam’s attention when pieces of it are on show and he gives absolutely no shits about customers and whether they stay here at his place of business or not.
Ronan stands up straighter and tucks his empty tray under his arm, he smirks that devilish smirk at Adam’s dumbfounded study group before cheerfully saying, “Enjoy your drinks” and walking away without so much as a second glance.
Before Adam gets sucked into letting his eyes stare after Ronan as he walks away, he turns back to the group, takes a gulp of water while avoiding Proko’s eyes and places it on a coaster on the table.
He does catch Proko’s mouth opening, dark brown eyes still following Ronan so Adam interrupts him before he can say something insulting about the brash bartender by asking Swan about how he interpreted the essay title and how they should relate the next paragraph to it.
They soon get enwrapped in their essay again and the next time they stop, night has fallen outside and a gaggle of thirty to sixty year old men have wandered in to watch the match starting soon so the group decide to pack up and go home.
Proko does invite them to a house party he’s going to but Adam declines, the five am shift he has in the morning looming on mind so he slings his shoulder bag over his shoulder, casts a quick, furtive glance around the bar before leaving with a muttered goodbye to his peers.
That night he dreams of branches twisting and crawling their way up his arm to form a raven perched on his shoulder.
And when he wakes up at half three in the morning to the beeping sound of his alarm, his attic apartment smells like a blend of spring trees despite the biting winter air and a whiff of alcohol from his clothes that hang carelessly over his desk chair.
Thirty-two minutes later, Adam’s trembling long fingers are fumbling to button his coat as he walks down the street to work. The streetlights still light the way for him as the sky is still pitch black although his day has already began.
He doesn’t look up until a few minutes and streets later when he hears a loud crash from around the corner.
Against his better judgement, suspecting the sound was caused by some reckless drunks, Adam still follows it to ensure nobody’s hurt.
As he turns the corner, his worries are dashed but his feet come to a standstill when he realises he’s back on the same street that he’s been visiting so regularly for the past few weeks and that the sound was from a beer barrel being moved from the alleyway at the side of the Greywaren to its front door.
This is the first time Adam’s seen Ronan wear a piece of clothing that covers his arms and he’s stunned that it’s a proper winter jacket he’s wearing and not just some studded leather jacket although Adam suspects Ronan has one of those in his closet too.
Ronan’s fixing up the barrel onto the red stretcher it had previously fallen from when he spots Adam who unfortunately probably looks like some creepy stalker staring at him but Adam’s cheeks are already flushed from the cold so he can’t even blush.
A tilt to the head and one raised eyebrow is all Adam gets in greeting from Ronan and Adam finds he doesn’t know what to say either, so he simply nods in response and turns back around the corner again, making his way to work and the glorious eight hour shift that awaits him.
The next four times he joins his study group in the Greywaren, he ends up moving to the counter to both work on his essay and talk to Ronan.
Not that they discuss much, they simply cast shared annoyed looks at frustrating customers and when the news anchor on the TV screen on the left wall interviews someone who apparently saw a ghost, Ronan comments about his friend Noah who everyone calls a ghost because of his pale skin, bleached blonde hair and freezing body temperature.
Adam then mentions a few prank experiments Ronan should try to test that theory and Ronan laughs and says he just might test them out.
Ronan even reads over a few of his essays, regularly commenting swear words and frowning at the paper which causes Adam to panic at the thought of his essays being dreadful only for Ronan to throw the writing pad down on the clean countertop and say, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph you’re clever.”
Adam tries to push down the selfish swell of pride he feels when Ronan compliments him but he can’t stop the grin that creeps onto his face so he just whispers “Thanks” under his breath and gets back to his work.
On a day he arrives without his study group, he accidentally stays until closing time, utterly engrossed in the essay he’s writing, the title of which he’s positive could come up in his final in a fortnight.
It’s only when Ronan coughs behind him that Adam lifts his head and turns to face him, black biro still in hand.
His cheeks flush with embarrassment when he realises that he’s the only one left in the bar and when he glances down at his watch, he realises it’s past 1am.
“Oh, Ronan I’m sorry, I didn’t realise.”
The barman only shrugs and Adam even realises that all the chairs have been put up and he cringes at how rude he must seem.
“Don’t worry about it” Ronan replies evenly
Adam hurriedly packs up and throws his jacket over his arm, deciding to put it on outside so he doesn’t waste anymore of Ronan’s time.
“Sorry again, I just get caught up in study sometimes”
Ronan nods and stuffs a fist into the pocket of his leather jacket, “I get it, I mean I’ve never been able to relate but you seem to.” He swallows and lifts his eyes from where they’d been staring at Adam’s hands clutching his coat “Anyway, hate to pull you away from your studies but I don’t do lock-ins.”
Laughing, Adam can’t help but joke, “Not even to let poor, broke college students finish studying for finals?”
Rolling his eyes, Ronan picks up three glasses with the fingers of one hand and doesn’t meet Adam’s eyes,
“Maybe when I get to know you better.”
Adam’s not sure how to respond to that, not sure how he’s supposed to respond so as his stomach does a summersault that he desperately tries to ignore, he simply laughs awkwardly and makes his way to the door, murmuring a soft, “Goodnight, Lynch” on the way out.
“Get home safe, Parrish” Ronan replies and then Adam closes the door and is faced with the bitter cold and this complicated fluttering feeling in his chest to deal with on the walk home.
After that Adam doesn’t return to the Greywaren for over three weeks as he’s swamped with his two constant companions, work and study and while he has grown to tolerate Proko, he finds study groups aren’t as beneficial as when he works alone in the library.
He does find himself unconsciously spacing out from time to time though, like when he’s packing away products in the storage facility and then a scent of strong beer absentmindedly filters through the air even though he’s the only one around and there’s no alcohol in sight.
Three days ago he was in the library studying for his last final and two students passed by, one wearing an aftershave that brought his mind back to weeks before, sitting on a barstool and chatting to Ronan.
Not that Adam knows what the aftershave is, but it’s one of those subtle but strong scents of wood, spring and pine that Adam could only dream of affording.
The night before he returns to the Greywaren, the clock blinks 4am in flashing red lights and he’s been home from work for two hours and has been trying to lure himself to sleep since then but all he can picture when he closes his eyes is Ronan’s tattoo.
The black eyes of the raven keep appearing in his mind, the eyes which look kind but equally tough and piercing. He remembers how Ronan caught him looking at it once and laughed, explaining how he calls her ‘Chainsaw’ and he has contemplated adopting a raven of his own more than once but he can never find any at the pet shop.
Adam should have asked him then if there was more to the tattoo, should have been brave and asked to see all of it. But Adam never could have done that.
He’d be too fearful of being banned from the bar for good and the embarrassment alone would haunt him for weeks.
Rolling over in his tiny single bed away from the clock and hearing the bed creak at the movement, Adam faces the wall before squeezing his eyes shut and pleading for sleep to come.
The next day Adam arrives at the Greywaren an hour and forty five minutes before his study group is supposed to arrive on the false premise of getting more study done for next semester because he knows the group will likely just want to celebrate the end of finals and drink the night away.
He sets himself up on a barstool beside a prim and proper man with short, well-kept dusty brown-blonde hair and wearing a strange combination of a sweater, tan trousers and boat shoes that all seem to belong to someone at least two decades older than he looks.
He’s leaning across the counter, elbows resting on the corner pages of the newspaper he’s intently reading and there’s an itch inside of Adam, begging him to remind this man that doing that will cause the ends of the pages to turn up but he refrains, reminding himself that people don’t like when you berate them upon first meeting.
Especially seeing as the first thing this stranger does is offer Adam a compliment.
Pointing to the title on his textbook, the man says genuinely,
“I heard that’s an incredible course, you must be awfully clever.”
Adam blinks at the young man’s wise eyes and begs his fingers not to fidget.
“I…well yes it’s an incredibly course but I’m not that clever, just hardworking”
The man shrugs, “It takes an awful lot of cleverness to have the dedication to be hardworking.”
Swallowing, Adam nods because he’s never thought of it that way and he doesn’t know what else he can say.
“I’m Gansey” the stranger says, doing the only thing natural for a man like him to do which was extending his hand for Adam to shake.
“Adam” he replies with a quirk of a shy smile and the conversation flows from there.
Gansey launches into a discussion on his newest history module and his long time obsession with uncovering the whereabouts of Glendower, a medieval Welsh king who legend whispers was buried somewhere in the United States centuries ago.
Adam, who never cared much for history actually finds himself engrossed in the conversation, asking questions, offering input and when Gansey’s eyes light up with eagerness at Adam’s words, for some reason he feels content and comfortable.
A feeling that isn’t broken when they’re interrupted by a smug voice behind the bar saying,
“You annoying my customers, Dick?”
Both Gansey and Adam turn to face Ronan who’s leaning against the back of the bar with his arms folded.
Gansey makes an indignant noise in his throat, “I can’t make polite conversation?”
Rolling his eyes, Ronan scoffs, “That’s all you ever do” and then he turns to Adam, “Let me ask you this Parrish, has he mentioned any Welsh king to you?”
Pushing the interesting fact that Ronan still remembers his last name which was spoken from another’s mouth weeks ago to the back of his mind to dwell over later, Adam nods,
“He may have mentioned one, yeah”
Ronan laughs, a true, croaky laugh and shakes his head at Gansey, “It’s okay when you talk this nerd shit to Henry because you’re both obsessed with the past but as shocking as it is, not everyone is as desperate to find a dead body as you are.” Then he looks at Adam again, “Though this one’s a nerd too from what I’ve seen so I suppose you attract them.”
Gansey sighs and also turns his gaze to Adam and speaks as easily as if they’ve been friends for years,
“I’m sorry about him; I’ve been putting up with it since high school so I’m almost immune to his snarkiness, almost.”
Adam can’t help but smile as he asks, “Old friends, huh?” as if he’s a new one of Ronan’s, as if he’s anything more than just a customer who Ronan has joked with once or twice.
Ronan mutters, “Unfortunately” but as his eyes turn back to Gansey, they’re beaming with fondness and genuine love.
Gansey doesn’t respond as he merely smiles, accustomed to Ronan’s attitude and seemingly knows there’s no truth behind those words.
“So where’s your crew today, Parrish?”
Raising an eyebrow, Adam asks dumbly, “My crew?”
“You know the ones who always come in with bags and sometimes even take out their books just to drink and talk about the latest college gossip instead?”
“Ronan, you really shouldn’t be eavesdropping on your customers’ conversations.”
Scrunching up his nose at his friend’s words, Ronan replies, “It’s not my fault their ringleader shouts out his stories like it was a concert in here all the time.”
Adam rolls his eyes, “Proko’s just like that and they should be here soon…though probably without any bags or books because finals are over, for this semester anyway.”
“You going home for the break?” Gansey asks kindly with genuine interest.
Shrugging and casting his eyes towards the clock for a distraction, Adam says partially-truthfully, “No, I’ve to stay here for work.”
Gansey sighs, “Ah, what a shame”
It really isn’t but Adam just nods silently.
“Well, Ronan’s holding a Christmas talent show here on Friday and I’m sure you’re more than welcome to join, right Ronan?”
Both Gansey and Adam turn to find Ronan looking at Gansey with a stoic face but wide, intent filled eyes; ones that clearly hold some secret message only for Gansey which only he can decipher.
“Of course” Ronan responds, his tone neutral, “It’s an open talent show so you’re more than welcome to participate as well if you wish.”
Adam coughs, “Eh, yes well, I won’t participate but I might wander in.”
Gansey beams and then turns back to Ronan, “I still can’t believe you’re choosing to hold a talent show here for your event. A bar is hardly family friendly.”
Ronan rolls his eyes, “Opal didn’t seem to mind. Adam, don’t you think a talent show here is a perfect family fun event?”
Adam blinks, trying not to appear too taken back or confused.
“Well what’s it for?” Adam asks, figuring he should have all of the facts before taking the side of either Ronan who he barely knows or Gansey who he definitely doesn’t know.
Shrugging, Ronan says calmly, “I do the big brother programme down at the youth centre and all the shitheads were asked to organise an event for Christmas. Opal wanted to do a talent show even though she’s no talent herself so being the kind citizen I am, I offered to organise it here.”
“And Opal’s your ‘little sister’ then?” Adam clarifies.
Ronan nods, a fondness creeping into his eyes despite his following words, “Yeah she’s a crazy monster of a thing but I’m stuck with her.”
Gansey shakes his head, “Don’t listen to him, Ronan adores her.”
Ronan doesn’t get a chance to either confirm or deny that statement because someone comes up to the counter to order so he walks over to them, leaving Gansey and Adam in a remarkably comfortable silence.
It doesn’t matter much anyway because a few minutes later, two hands wrap themselves around Adam’s shoulders from behind, causing him to stumble off his stool and jump around, eyes startled and wide.
Proko steps back, holding his hands up, sincerely apologetic,
“Hey sorry, Parrish; I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Swallowing his heavy breathing down, Adam tries to regulate it, taking in the bar’s scent and grounding his feet down on the sticky floor.
“It’s fine” Adam lies, clenching his fists to his sides and ignoring Gansey’s concerned gaze glued to him, “You guys all here?”
“Yeah, come join us! We’ve lots of celebrating to do! All drinks on us tonight, Parrish. Without you we probably wouldn’t have gotten any work done this semester.”
Adam shakes his head, “That’s not necessary, I’m sure that’s not true, you guys put the work in yourselves.”
Proko laughs, “Thanks for the white lies and confidence boost, Parrish, go on sit down, I’ll order you a soda.”
Adam smiles and does as he’s told, waving a goodbye to Gansey who nods and says “It was nice to meet you” in a tone that a politician would use after he met someone he knew was going to vote for him and Adam nods and is the first to turn away.
A few days later when Adam is asked to cover his co-worker’s shift on Friday at the time of the talent show, his stomach sinks but he agrees because he needs the money and working the day before Christmas Eve might distract him from the fact that he’s doing nothing with nobody for the holidays.
That hope doesn’t pull through though as the only thing on his mind when he’s on a creeper under a car at Boyd’s is that he’d rather be sitting in the Greywaren listening to some child sing a pop song out of tune while purposefully not letting his eyes follow Ronan as he moves around the bar than here at work.
His muscles are weak, clothes stained and eyes drooping so when Boyd tells him he can leave an hour early, Adam should head straight home and flop straight into bed.
He knows that’s what he should do but when he throws his coat on and locks up the garage, he turns left instead of right and walks to the Greywaren instead of his tiny box room across town.
If anyone was taking any notice of his whereabouts these past few weeks and didn’t know he didn’t drink, they’d definitely peg him for an alcoholic.
The bar is packed to the brim when Adam pushes the heavy door open but his thin frame makes it possible to squeeze through the crowd of figures standing and swaying in the stuffy air in order to reach the counter.
A small girl with long raggedy blonde hair is perched on the bar counter, a beaming smile on her face as she watches a band of teenagers sing what sounds like an original song that’s actually really good.
There’s no barstool available so Adam leans against the counter for the next two acts and just as the juggler finishes and Adam lifts his dead arms to clap, he feels something nudge against his leg and when he looks down it’s a spare barstool.
Adam frowns and when he looks up, Ronan’s already bypassed him, tray of drinks in one hand and heading towards a table of two families in the corner.
When Ronan delivers the drinks and turns, he catches Adam watching him from where he now sits and flickers his eyes to the new act then to Adam again and swipes his hand across the front of his neck.
A laugh escapes Adam despite himself and when Ronan approaches him and asks, “Water?” Adam just nods in response.
For the first time in a very long time, Adam genuinely has an enjoyable night out.
Some acts are brilliant, some are less so but everybody claps and cheers like good sports, well specifically the children do as they are all excited about everyone who gets up on the makeshift stage Ronan must have had previously prepared.
Adam doesn’t talk to her, but he assumes the girl on the counter is Opal from the way he catches Ronan’s eyes shining with something distinctive and unknown to Adam when he looks at her.
Ronan nudges her and makes comments while tilting his head towards certain acts on stage and while Adam can’t hear what he’s saying, he can guess they’re not exceptionally complimentary from the toothy smirk on Ronan’s face.
Opal swats his arm away, calling for him to “Be nice Kerah!” and when Ronan pulls away, his eyes find Adam’s who can’t seem to look away in shame, especially not when Ronan grins wider and maintains eye contact with him until the act ends and Adam looks away out of politeness to clap.
The room starts spinning after a while and his throat continues to dry up despite gulping down the water Ronan brought him earlier, Adam tightens his fists and wills himself to stay awake for the whole thing. It would be rude to leave early and he doesn’t want Ronan to think he’d rather be anywhere else.
Gansey approaches him in the last half hour and over the strangers’ conversations and music playing from the speakers on stage, they shout greetings, pleasantries and compliments regarding the violin player on stage.
It’s almost one am when the show ends and Ronan slowly and seemingly reluctantly drags himself up to thank the people for coming before rushing off quickly, sending a glare in Opal’s direction who just beams at him.
While it may not be particularly late, at least half the audience are children or teenagers and if Adam were honest, the stool Ronan brought him and Gansey’s smiling face are the only reasons he hasn’t collapsed yet.
From what he’s gathered of him, Gansey seems to be perceptive and Adam’s pretty sure he’s noticed Adam’s mumbled responses and checked out hearing growing more and more frequent.
Now that the only thumping sound in the room is in Adam’s ears and both sides of his temple, Gansey sits on the now free stool beside Adam and leans in to speaks to him in a soft, level voice,
“Are you alright there, Parrish?”
Nodding, Adam closes his eyes and takes a deep breath in and exhales slowly before opening his eyes wide to look at Gansey,
“Yeah, fine. Sorry it’s just been a long day.”
It’s been a long few weeks really but Adam keeps that to himself.
Standing, he continues, “I actually better go, it’s getting really late” trudging towards the door, Adam turns his head back to say goodbye, “I’ll see you soon Gan-“
Toppling over a stool, Adam falls backwards gracelessly but is caught by strong arms before his body can hit the floor.
“Watch yourself there, Parrish.” A familiar low voice mutters and Adam cringes.
Regaining his footing, Adam turns on the spot and faces Ronan who has one eyebrow raised curiously at him.
This is the first time there’s no counter in between them that they’re actually just standing opposite each other for more than a few seconds, his sides can still feel Ronan’s fingertips on them and his mind can’t help but calculate the height difference between them, half an inch, an inch, two? He can’t tell.
Blinking, Adam’s apologies rush out before he can stop himself, “I’m so sorry, I, I wasn’t watching where I was going, thank you though, but you shouldn’t have had to-“
“Shut up” Ronan interrupts brashly, eyes scanning Adam’s face, “Parrish, you can barely walk, you look like shit and there’s no way you’re walking home, you’re a menace to society.”
“I’m fine-“
“I think Ronan’s right” Gansey interjects softly, “Ronan has plenty of spare rooms, I’m staying here tonight so I’ll make sure Ronan doesn’t attack you or anything, he may be as pale as a vampire but I assure you he isn’t one” Gansey smiles at his own poor joke
“Well my fangs only appear when I’m really angry” Ronan says drily without batting an eyelid, “It’s lucky I wasn’t carrying anything when you fell into my arms Princess Parrish or else it would be a different story.”
Smiling weakly, Adam tries to walk away but finds his legs which feel more like jelly won’t obey his internal commands.
“I really don’t want to be a bother” Adam whispers, relenting more and more to the idea every second as he tries to imagine how on earth he could walk home like this and he knows there isn’t enough money in his wallet for a taxi or Uber.
Scoffing, Ronan looks away and starts putting up the chairs onto the tables and says, “I’ve been surrounded by kids all night, your presence may be agitating but it’s nothing compared to all those pests in one room.”
Adam opens his mouth but while a thousand other protests linger in his mind and mouth, none of them reach his lips so he simply closes his mouth and nods in thanks.
Practically beaming, Gansey walks towards the back, gesturing for Adam to follow,
“I’ll show you to one of the spare rooms while Ronan closes up, it should be all set up. That okay with you, Ronan?”
“Sure, whatever” Ronan grumbles absentmindedly as he goes to lock the front door and Adam turns his back to him then, following Gansey blindly up the stairs, wondering how this all occurred so fast.
It’s almost all a blur after that; down a long hallway with low lighting and the wallpaper donned with lavish, delicate paintings of forests, fields of green and the ocean in petite frames. Gansey guides him slowly and carefully past them all until they reach the third door on the right.
Entering through the surprisingly antique dark door, Adam takes in the medium sized room that’s twice the size of his own and he tries to listen as Gansey explains there’s an ensuite with towels ready through the door on the left and that he can feel free to have a shower in the morning after a good night’s rest.
If Adam didn’t know any better, he’d think this was Gansey’s place and not Ronan’s. The thought crosses his mind that perhaps they live together but he’s too tired to dwell on the thought and not stupid enough to ask.
“Thanks Gansey”
“You’re welcome…hey, so is Parrish what you preferred to be called or?”
“Adam” He corrects “I mean Parrish is my surname but my first is Adam” He stumbles over his words in tiredness as he only now realises he hadn’t told Gansey or Ronan his first name, or his last name actually, come to think of it.
Gansey nods with a bright smile, “Well, goodnight Adam, sleep well.”
Ten minutes later after going to the toilet, washing his hands and face and stripping to just his t-shirt and underwear, Adam crawls under the covers and practically sinks into the sheets underneath him.
Within seconds he’s drifting off to sleep so he doesn’t quite catch the knock on his door when it opens the tiniest amount so a shaved head and bright blue eyes can peek in to check on Adam’s wellbeing.
Adam catches the light switching off though and his last thought before he sleeps is that he must have forgotten to do it himself in his tired state and the final thing he hears is the door shutting as whoever just came in leaves to let Adam finally have the good night’s sleep he deserves.
When he wakes up, he hasn’t even opened his eyes before he realises he’s not in his own bed.
This bed is too big, a king size compared to his single cot and this mattress enwraps his body in comfort instead of causing his body to itch and sprout sores the next morning.
Blinking his eyes open, he feels the light fall on his face from the blinds and between the unsuspecting warmth, the welcoming sheets and the earthly green walls surrounding him, Adam feels safe.
As he forces himself out of bed and starts getting ready for the day, he tries to resist the shower Gansey offered him but the scent of gasoline and beer still clings to him and his clothes so perhaps he should alter one of these as to not make Ronan or Gansey think he’s a total slob.
Not to mention from the brief, tired glance he got from the staircase, hallway and guest bedroom and bathroom, Ronan makes a fair bit of money from the Greywaren and Gansey looks like he’s practically the real life version of Jay Gatsby so Adam should probably look at least somewhat presentable.
Half an hour later he’s showered, dressed and carefully folded the sheets and blankets at the end of the bed before he leaves the guest room and tries to figure out where to go next.
His phone tells him it’s only almost nine o’ clock and he’s half tempted to just run out the way he came as to avoid any awkward conversations or entering of the wrong room but when he hears voices from down the hall, he decides to hope for the best and follow them.
The kitchen is quaint but modern, spotlights brightening up the room from the low ceiling and an island with a marble countertop sits in the centre of the room with Ronan sitting on top of it, swinging his legs back and forth while talking to Gansey who’s sitting at the table with what looks like a bowl of porridge and raspberries in front of him.
“Adam!” Gansey exclaims, smiling brightly, “Happy holidays!”
Adam blinks, oh right, it’s Christmas Eve.
He hasn’t celebrated that since…well ever really, he’s not the most religious and neither was his father. His mother used to bring him to mass every Christmas Day until his father gave him a bruise the night before when he was six and it was still visible the next day. Adam hasn’t entered a church since.
“Happy Holidays” Adam smiles in return before turning to Ronan, “Thank you so much for letting me stay here, you really didn’t have to-“
Ronan interrupts him with a direct sigh, “I know but I did, now help yourself to some breakfast.”
“Oh no, I should really get going.”
“Nonsense!” Gansey replies insistently “We can’t let you leave here on an empty stomach. And you said you’re staying here for Christmas, is there anyone with you?”
Scratching his neck, Adam shakes his head, “No but I’m not religious so it doesn’t really matter”
“Well neither am I but it’s still nice not to be alone this time of year.” Gansey says smiling, “Ronan, what do you think?”
Stretching his feet out until they reach the opposite counter, Ronan sighs, “You’re more than welcome to stay here Parrish; there’s clothes in my brother’s old room that’ll fit you. You can join in the fabulous family events that my older brother has planned for this evening as well, such as bringing up the topics of” Ronan extended each finger with each point that followed and changing his demeanour by straightening his back, frowning and changing his tone from low and casual to light but purposeful,
“Ronan look at this college course I stumbled upon this morning, wouldn’t this be perfect for you? Have you got that faulty electricity wire checked yet, I know you told me you fixed it four years ago but I need to make sure. And of course the ever familiar, so are you seeing anyone yet Ronan?”
“You know Declan loves you” Gansey reprimands, sounding startlingly like a TV mother talking to her children who had gotten into a fight over something pointless.
Adam awkwardly tries not to get too involved as he doesn’t know Declan so he can’t form a proper opinion. Deciding not to be rude, he puts two slices of toast on for breakfast, and stands trying to loosen his shoulders by the toaster in the corner.
“At least Matthew’s coming too, Declan will be busy reminding him not to be on his phone the whole time at this posh restaurant thing to bother with me” Ronan turns back to Adam, “How are you with posh restaurants, Parrish?”
Adam swallows, “Eh, well, I…I’ve never really been to one”
Ronan’s face lights up like fireworks, “Oh, fantastic! I need someone who my brother has to be polite with to be more uncivilised than me so he can’t berate me in public for that at least.”
Despite the fact that Adam’s sure he should feel offended by Ronan’s statement, he’s not, in fact he laughs because while Ronan’s words are often careless and borderline rude, his actions aren’t and are generally sincere from what Adam can see.
Ronan Lynch is a madman, a snake but somehow something much more gentle and beautiful at the same time.
The three of them don’t do much that Christmas Eve morning as they simply eat and assemble the fake tree that Ronan grumbles about putting up for Matthew’s sake.
Adam gathers enough information to know that Declan is Ronan’s older brother who Ronan is not particularly fond of and Matthew is the youngest brother who Ronan adores.
Since they’re not mentioned, Adam also guesses that Ronan’s parents are either not in the picture or have passed away so he definitely doesn’t mention them as Ronan and Gansey have been polite enough not to question Adam about his.
He also uncovers that Gansey is the boy’s surname which Adam possibly should have presumed beforehand but it’s his preferred name as he feels Richard Campbell Gansey III is a bit pretentious.
Gansey’s parents are abroad for the holidays and his sister is spending it with her girlfriend in Washington so Gansey decided to crash Ronan’s family Christmas.
Adam’s glad he’s not the only gate-crasher then, though the moment Declan and Matthew arrive, it’s clear that Gansey’s been a part of the Lynch family for years.
The tall man with a striking resemblance to Ronan despite the well grown combed dark hair and suit notices Adam first and gives him a once over so subtly that Adam almost failed to notice it.
Adam resists gulping as he realises this must be Declan whose old clothes Ronan had given Adam to wear for the day so that’s likely not a very good first impression.
Matthew is big, burly and bright and attacks Ronan in a hug the second he sees him, Ronan freezes for a second before hugging him back and it’s the first time Adam’s ever seen Ronan touch someone, except for yesterday when he broke Adam’s fall which still causes heat to rise in his cheeks from embarrassment.
The youngest then hugs Gansey but when he spots Adam standing there awkwardly, his beaming face never falters as he claps Adam surprisingly gently on the shoulder and greets him with,
“Hey! I’m Matthew”
Adam smiles tightly, “Adam”
Matthew grins even brighter and turns to Ronan, “Ronan, you never told me you were seeing someone!”
Ronan Lynch is the very embodiment of a deer in headlights in that moment and before he can open his mouth to object, Declan is making his way towards Adam and extending his hand for Adam to shake.
His grip is an awful lot tighter than Matthew’s despite being a lot skinnier than his youngest brother,
“Nice to meet you Adam, glad you could join us, you do pull off my old college clothes remarkably well.”
Matthew snorts and Ronan finally speaks while Adam just shakes Declan’s hand with hopefully equal strength, too dumbfounded to speak.
“Adam’s just a friend” Ronan emphases the last word strongly “He wants a depressing Christmas so he’s spending it with us and I told him to wear Declan’s hideous clothes as he can’t wear his work clothes on Christmas so shut up the two of you.”
Declan sighs and turns back to Ronan, “Must you always speak so lowly of our family, Ronan?”
Ronan smiles bitterly sweetly, “Not always, sometimes I praise Matthew”
Grinning, Matthew drags his brothers into a family hug before leaving it quickly and rushing off to the sitting room, “Tell me you didn’t decorate the tree without me!”
Rolling his eyes, Ronan stomps after him, “Oh yeah, because I’m such a décor expert, of course not, we all know that’s your job.”
An hour later, Adam’s helping Matthew decorate the tree and discussing Matthew’s senior year of high school while Gansey is playing some intricate card game with Declan and Ronan’s skyping Opal in the kitchen.
“I’m sorry if I’m intruding on your family day” Adam discloses after a while, the guilt he’s been feeling finally seeping its way into his words, “Ronan and Gansey kind of wouldn’t let me go and-“
“Don’t be ridiculous Adam!” Matthew replies enthusiastically, reaching up to put a bauble on one of the highest branches with ease, “You’re a great addition, it’s usually just the three of us which often ends up in a blowout fight between Declan and Ronan so it’s nice to have other people here. And Gansey and Ronan seem to like you a lot.”
A warm feeling overtakes Adam but he puts that down to the comforting smell of the Christmas tree and Matthew’s bubbly nature while he mumbles, “I don’t know them that well really.”
Matthew laughs, “Yeah, they’re like that, Gansey especially. If they like you on first sight and you’re willing, they’ll be your best friend forever.”
Smiling and placing a raven figurine on the tree, Adam thinks maybe Proko joining his study group wasn’t all that bad if it led him here.
“Yeah, they seem like good people.”
Matthew bites his lip before speaking in a soft tone,
“Ronan…he…well he’s gone through a lot.”
Adam turns to find Matthew standing still, watching him carefully, Adam feels as if Matthew will judge his entire character on how he’ll respond next.
“I’m sorry to hear that” Adam says honestly
“He…look I’m just saying this because I’m his brother and I’m allowed”
“Okay” Adam replies, completely unsure and unsettled in this unfamiliar environment.
“He likes you”
Adam can’t help the slight scoff that escapes him, “Ronan?”
“Yeah”
“But he, he-“
“He talks to you, trust me he doesn’t do that with most people.”
“But he works with people.”
Matthew shrugs, “It was our dad’s bar; Ronan inherited it. He thought Declan would just sell it and I was too young so Ronan decided to go ahead and take it over when he was 18; though I think Declan was legally the owner until he was twenty one. Declan hated it but knew it kept Ronan out of trouble so he didn’t argue much, not about that anyway.”
“Oh, okay.” Adam’s brain has gone blank, wondering what on earth could be the right thing to say in this situation.
His heart is racing with the possibility that Ronan has feelings for him. Matthew must be making this up, he probably misread the situation; of course he did. Walking in, seeing some random guy wearing his oldest brother’s clothes after staying the night in the house of said older brother, what else was he supposed to think?
“Look, I, I really don’t think Ronan likes me but if he does…”
“I’m not asking you to pretend to like him back if you don’t or anything!” Matthew insists hurriedly, “God, no, please don’t think I’m trying to force you into anything, I’m not. I’m just asking…if I’m right or if he asks you out and you don’t feel the same, let him down gently. He doesn’t…he doesn’t get feelings for anyone easily.”
Adam feels like it’s last night again and the room is spinning but he just nods and blinks, trying to force the room to stay still.
“I’m sorry” Matthew says quietly, eyes wide with guilt, “I shouldn’t have said anything”
“No” Adam interjects “Really, I understand. I just haven’t known him very long and I…well I don’t fall for people easily either.”
Matthew nods and shifts back into the Christmas spirit, “Tunes?” he suggests eagerly and when Adam nods, Matthew hurriedly plugs his phone into the speakers before rushing back to finish off the tree.
Adam should be terrified by Matthew’s revelations about his brother as he hasn’t dated anyone properly in a long time. He dated a few girls in high school, Blue included and then one in his first year in college and they all ended amicably because they hadn’t been real relationships in the first place.
And then there’s Ronan, who’s tall and gorgeous and has the most attractive, alluring tattoo Adam’s ever seen and he’s never even been into tattoos.
They barely know each other, have only been talking for a few weeks and Adam hardly knows anything about him…and yet…and yet he wants to know more.
And in the next few hours he does find out more about Ronan.
Before dinner, Adam learns that Ronan was made to fit into that fancy black tailored suit that he complains about Declan making him wear.
He also learns of his family’s generosity as Declan lends Adam an old suit of his that still looks sparkling new to Adam and which Adam obligingly accepts, not wanting to humiliate Ronan and his family any further than he no doubt will tonight.
At the five star restaurant with the award winning chef, Adam discovers that Ronan really is as poor at acting prim and proper as Adam is, perhaps even worse so because Adam desperately tries to pretend he knows what he’s doing whereas it’s obvious that Ronan just doesn’t care.
Gansey fits right in with Declan as they discuss politics and sports like polo and cricket while Ronan makes jokes about certain names of the food on the menu and leans closer to Adam so they can create stories about other people in the restaurant.
Matthew helps them out in between checking his phone messages and chatting to people at other tables who seem to be his age and who Adam guesses are friends or peers of his.
After dinner, Adam learns that Ronan is not only stubborn but easily distracting because after five arguments of Adam insisting on paying, at least for his meal when it’s finally time to pay, Ronan sparks up a conversation about Adam’s course and what modules he’ll take next year, asking more questions than he ever asked Adam before until Declan returns to the table, bill already taken care of.
Ronan can also apparently tune out and take on an aloof persona which Adam finds out as they walk out of the restaurant and the only responses to Adam’s insistences on how he’ll pay him back are,
“Mmhmm”, “Of course Parrish” and “Stars are looking lovely tonight aren’t they Parrish? Gansey tell Parrish about that documentary you watched recently about the stars.”
As Adam is forced to engage in Gansey’s excited ramblings about space, he also unintentionally realises that Ronan has a warm body temperature as his freezing hand accidentally brush against his fingers as they cross the empty road to the Greywaren.
If this were a movie, Adam would say he felt sparks when he briefly touched Ronan’s hand but that’s not the real world, even though he will admit his stomach did give a little jolt at the sudden warmth but that was it.
Ronan unlocks the Greywaren, having shut the bar for Christmas and then the five of them simply awkwardly stand there.
“We should get going” Declan declares, clasping his gloved hands together “We’ll see you at mass tomorrow morning, right Ronan?”
Ronan nods, “Of course” and then he lets Matthew pull him into a half-hug, clapping him on the back before Matthew pulls away.
“Adam, it was a pleasure to meet you” Declan says, removing his glove to shake Adam’s hand before he turns to Gansey, “I’m sure I’ll see you soon.”
Gansey smiles politely, “Hopefully, have a safe drive back, you two.”
Matthew gives hugs to both Gansey and Adam before waving goodbye to them and walking carefully on the ice to Declan’s polished, fancy German car on the curb.
They watch as they get into the car and drive around the corner before the sound of Gansey clasping his hands together causes Ronan and Adam to turn towards him.
“Right, I’m going to head to bed. Goodnight boys and Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, Gansey” Adam and Ronan both reply and yet neither of them immediately follows Gansey into the warmth inside of the bar.
For a few minutes, Adam lets himself revel in the moment as he and Ronan simply stare at each other with snow falling slowly around them, alone together for the first real time.
“I should probably head home” Adam confesses softly, hating the truth in his words.
Ronan hesitates for a minute before whispering into the night air, “You don’t have to”
Adam raises an eyebrow.
“I just meant” Ronan continues, breaking eye contact “If you don’t want to be alone tomorrow, or if you want to come in for a drink or anything, you can.”
Adam’s beginning to realise that while for the past few years he’s forced himself to turn down every offer he’s been given as he viewed it as charity, it’s somehow different with Ronan.
Everything Ronan offers comes across as a gift to Adam that he gratefully wants to receive.
Ignoring the spark of guilt that rises in his stomach as it always does, Adam nods.
“Sure, one drink couldn’t hurt.”
Adam Parrish also learns on that Christmas Eve night that when Ronan Lynch invites you in for a drink, he genuinely invites you in for a drink with no strings attached.
Just like many times before, Adam sits on the same barstool facing Ronan who pours some Coca-Cola into a glass for Adam and then whisky for himself before handing Adam his glass, clinking it and taking a sip of his whisky while leaning against the case behind him.
“You really didn’t have to do all this, you know?”
Ronan twirls his wrist so the whisky swirls a bit, “I know, Gansey took a fondness to you and the minute he heard you’d be alone for the holidays, I knew he expected me to be your knight in shining armour.”
Adam snorts, “You mean my knight in shining black leather?”
Smirking, Ronan takes another sip of his whisky, tilting his head back a tiny bit before laying the glass on the counter behind him,
“Only if you want me to be, Parrish.”
Rolling his eyes, Adam wonders, “Do you ever talk like a normal person?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like…” Adam gulps down some coke and places the glass on a coaster on the counter “I feel like I don’t know anything about you and I’ve spent the night at your apartment, spent Christmas Eve with you and met your brothers and best friend.”
Cringing at how he sounds like some needy boyfriend, he tries to retract his words,
“Not that I want to pry, I’ve really enjoyed today and last night but I’ve just known you for weeks and I hardly know anything about you.”
Carefully watching him for a moment, Ronan grabs a stool and sits directly opposite him, leaving only the counter in between them.
“And what do I know about you?”
Adam falters, “What?”
Ronan sits up straighter, “I mean it. You know where I work, you know what I do every day, you’ve met my best friend and you know we met at school. You know about Opal, you know where I live, you know my brothers and my relationship with them and what do I know about you?”
Feeling his mouth go dry from either the coke or the raw honesty behind Ronan’s question lingering in the air, Adam swallows.
“What do you want to know?”
Ronan shrugs, “Everything “
Adam leans back and glances at the clock that reads quarter to midnight, he supposes they’ve a bit of time.
“Well, I’m twenty years old”
“So am I”
“I’m in college which you already know and I’m in my second year.”
Ronan nods, waiting for Adam to continue
Adam sighs, “I grew up in a small town called Henrietta. I no longer speak to my parents and they no longer speak to me; I’m fine with that. I work three jobs, one in a factory stocking shelves, one at a retail warehouse and another at Boyd’s garage. I love forests and my favourite colour is green. I live in a tiny box apartment across town that’s just one small room and a bathroom. The only thing I really wanted in life was to get out of that small town and now that I’ve left, I’m studying and working to lead me to where I want to go next.”
It takes a minute for Ronan to respond and when he does it’s in a quiet, interested voice,
“Do you know where that’ll be?” He inquires
Shaking his head, Adam leans his elbows and arms flat on the counter,
“Not yet.” Then he lifts his chin “Your turn”
Ronan laughs with more air than sound and rubs the back of his neck,
“Well, I dropped out of high school in senior year to take over this place. It was my dad’s but he passed away when I was sixteen, then my mum died when I was eighteen and suddenly I was running a bar before I could legally drink. I still drank though, a lot. The wall of my childhood bedroom is plastered in speeding tickets because I drag raced all the time.”
“Tell me you didn’t drink and drive.”
Ronan laughs, “Only once, after my dad died, Gansey actually cried so I never did it again.”
“Good” Adam says passionately “I’d walk out that door right now if you still did it.”
“You can if you want” Ronan acknowledges, no hidden agenda in his words, “I won’t stop you”
Adam takes in Ronan’s features, they’re the same age and yet Ronan looks so much more defined than Adam.
That’s not to say Ronan looks older because Adam definitely does with his work wrinkles already forming on his forehead and the constant bags under his eyes but with Ronan’s sharp trick jaw and intent, blazing eyes, Ronan is the very definition of a powerful creature.
“What do you want?” Adam asks, voice barely above a whisper and he doesn’t mean it to come out the way it sounds but once the words are out, he can’t find it in him to take these ones back.
Ronan watches him for a moment, lets his eyes flicker across Adam’s face before leaning across the counter so his face is right in front of Adam’s.
He hesitates when he feels Adam’s breathing hitch and they stay like that for a second or two before Adam closes the distance and then they’re kissing.
If the bar had been spinning last night or this afternoon, suddenly everything was still.
All that Adam could see was the stars behind his eyelids, could only feel Ronan’s cheek under his thumb as Ronan’s fingers tangle in his hair and suddenly the scent of Ronan’s cologne that reminds him of the wind and trees is all that surrounds him.
When they pull apart, there’s no dramatic heavy breathing, ripping off of clothes or sudden uncomfortable tension.
Instead they stay exactly like that for a few minutes until Ronan murmurs,
“You can stay in the spare room again tonight, if you like.”
Nodding in response, his mind feeling a little lightheaded; Adam whispers a soft, “Okay.”
And then he is the first to pull away as he forces himself to stand on his own shaky legs.
They kiss again outside the spare room a few minutes later, the temptation to pull Ronan in with him hangs in the air but Adam pushes it down and from the gentle hesitant expression on Ronan’s usually guarded face, Adam knows he doesn’t want to rush anything either.
That night, Adam Parrish falls asleep with a massive grin on his face for the first time in years and though he’s not religious, he thinks that this year, Christmas was pretty magical and important for him at least.
Adam is woken up by his phone that's screeching the song of some rock band and he groans as he fumbles to answer Blue who set that as her caller ID months ago.
“Whatcha want, Blue?” Adam mumbles, politeness forgotten in his sleepy, grumpy haze.
“Open the fucking door” Blue’s sharp voice demands down the phone.
Adam sits up, blinking his eyes open to take in the fact that yes he is in fact once again in Ronan’s spare bedroom and not in his own apartment.
“What are you on about? Where are you?”
“Outside your door in the freezing snow! I did not drive all this way to spend Christmas day with my best friend only to be abandoned in the cold because he wanted a lie in!”
Cringing and placing his phone away from his ear until she’s finished screaming at him, Adam pulls the blankets back and hops out of bed.
“Blue I’m sorry, I’m not home.”
“What do you mean you’re not home? Adam, I drove all this-“ Blue cuts herself off and then her voice grows softer, “Wait, are you with someone?”
Adam sighs, “I stayed at a friend’s, give me ten minutes and I’ll be there and thank you for coming.”
“Yeah well you better hurry, I’m getting frozen out here and I’m small Adam I’ll turn into a Popsicle before you know it.”
Shaking his head, Adam assures her she’ll be fine before hanging up the phone, hurriedly tugging on his clothes that he wore to work two days ago, he then attempts to leave the bed and room as spotless as he found it before rushing out the door and down to the kitchen.
Ronan is sitting shirtless on the table beside where Gansey’s sitting down today and from the beam on Gansey’s face when Adam walks in, Adam assumes Ronan told him about last night.
Oh God, last night.
Adam hadn’t even allowed himself to think about that with everything that just happened with Blue.
Ronan raises his eyes to meet Adam’s, face expressionless but his eyes wide and wondering.
Swallowing, Adam tightens his bag strap on his shoulder,
“I’m really sorry, I have to go. My best friend called and she came all the way here to see me as a surprise. She’s outside my place right now, thank you both so much for everything and I promise I’ll pay you back-“
“Adam, don’t worry about it” Gansey reassures him gently, smile soft and genuine.
“No, I really didn’t mean to rush out like this” Adam assures them.
“Then don’t” Ronan declares, causing both Adam and Gansey to turn and stare at him in shock.
“Ronan” Gansey rebukes evenly causing Ronan to shake his head.
“No, I didn’t mean it like that” Ronan hops down off the table but doesn’t move closer, “I just meant everywhere will be closed today, you said yourself your place is tiny Parrish so why don’t you go and get your friend, get clothes or whatever you need and both of you can come back here and spend Christmas with us.”
Adam blinks and his heart constricts at how nice that sounds.
“That sounds lovely” He wants to say perfect but the word doesn’t quite reach his lips “But I’ve intruded far too much already.”
Gansey looks at him then with wide distraught eyes, stands up and makes his way over to him,
“Adam, you do know that we like you here right? You’re honestly not intruding, we love having you here.”
Swallowing, Adam suddenly feels his cheeks flame with heat,
“I just don’t want to seem like I’m using you guys or anything. I don’t want to be a charity case; I’m not trying to be.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard” Ronan remarks “You’re far too ugly to be a charity case, Parrish, people only want to throw money at attractive people.”
Ronan turns to grab a navy jumper that’s hanging across one of the chairs and in doing so he reveals his entire back tattoo to Adam.
For a minute, Adam forgets about Blue standing shivering in the snow or Gansey standing beside him already dressed in a formal suit even though it’s not even nine am and all Adam can focus on is the black pictures permanently painted across Ronan’s skin.
The raven is continued from the head on Ronan’s right shoulder to its body and then to its tail which ties into even more branches which lead to a Celtic cross in between his shoulder blades. Underneath that is another Celtic symbol and what looks like the roots of a tree shooting out from within it. The roots then travel down to Ronan’s hips which are covered by his jeans.
But then all of the tattoo is covered up by what looks to be the softest navy jumper Adam’s ever seen and he just about manages to tear his eyes away from where he had been staring at Ronan’s body when Ronan turns around, grabs his leather jacket from the other chair, takes his keys out from its pocket and then looks back at Adam with a raised eyebrow,
“Right, so are we going to get this poor, stranded, freezing friend of yours or not?”
Blue’s reaction when the BMW pulls up with Adam in the front seat is absolutely priceless.
Ronan opts to wait in the car while Adam gets Blue and goes inside for a few minutes to check on things and change.
Getting out of the car and closing the door gently, terrified of damaging it, Adam walks carefully towards Blue and instead of getting the hug he usually gets, he receives a delightful interrogation.
“Who the hell is he?” Blue commands through chattering teeth, her arms folded and pressed close to her chest.
Adam snorts and wraps an arm around Blue, “Nice to see you too, Merry Christmas”
Blue sticks her tongue out at him, “You know I’m a Pagan Adam, now who’s that?”
Shrugging, Adam walks up the steps and enters the key into the lock, “Ronan Lynch, a friend.”
They venture up the stairs to Adam’s attic apartment, Adam answering Blue’s long list of questions about Ronan along the way, varying from how long they’ve known each other to how often Adam spends the night with him.
Finally the onslaught of questions stops for a moment when they walk into Adam’s place and Blue coughs before berating him for not dusting more. Adam shrugs and says something about how he didn’t have the time.
Brushing his teeth with his own toothbrush and not Ronan’s spare is harsher than expected and Adam considers getting a new one when the shops open again as he gathers the first nice, clean jumper he sees and changes into it and his nice, not worn or accidentally ripped jeans hurriedly while Blue lays on the bed and talks about how her college course is going.
When he’s done, he stands at the door and after Blue goes to the bathroom, she looks Adam up and down and raises an eyebrow.
“Well you look nice”
Blushing, Adam pushes Blue gently out the door and mutters for her to shut up as they make their way downstairs and to Ronan’s BMW.
Adam offers the passenger seat to Blue but she refuses with a twinkle in her eye and mutters something about not needing the leg room.
Ronan turns and nods in greeting to Blue, turning down the classic rock music he was listening to a tiny amount so it still rings and vibrates through the car.
“Blue, this is Ronan Lynch, Ronan, Blue Sargent”
“A pleasure” Blue says, only a slight amount of snark in her voice but Ronan simply smirks as he starts the car and speeds off down the road.
“Likewise”
The drive is comfortable, yet quiet as Ronan and Blue ask a few pleasantry questions about the other while Adam’s fingers fidget in his lap and Ronan struggles to stay under the speed limit.
Adam’s mind races over the events of last night, of how he kissed Ronan, how Ronan invited him to stay the night.
Did Ronan actually want him to spend the night with him? Was he annoyed and feeling rejected now?
Adam couldn’t read Ronan this morning, not as well as usual and that unnerved him.
When they return to the Greywaren, Gansey is sitting in the bar, doing bits and pieces to tidy up but he stops when they walk in, or more specifically when Blue walks in.
“Hey, welcome back, oh well welcome for you” Gansey stammers out, smiling brightly at Blue, “I’m Gansey, Ronan’s friend, you must be Blue.”
Nodding, Blue stuffs her hands into her jacket pockets and simply says, “Yeah”
“Well, Merry Christmas!”
Blue shrugs, “I don’t really celebrate Christmas”
Gansey’s smile slips and he stutters, “Of course, I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed, I don’t either really I-“
Laughing, Blue punches his arm gently and says “It’s fine” before turning and casting her eyes around the bar.
Adam catches Gansey swallowing hard and glancing at Ronan desperately for help but Ronan just smirks in amusement and shrugs.
“Right, I’m off to mass” Ronan announces a minute later, “Gansey, take care of these two, I’ll be home in a bit.”
Turning and meeting Adam’s gaze, Ronan stops for a minute in front of him and suddenly it’s just them again while Gansey offers to show Blue around.
“I’ll see you later” Ronan says, his face as impassive as ever.
“Yeah, have a good time” Adam replies and instantly cringes, realising that’s probably not the right thing to say to someone going to church.
Ronan nods, “Right I’ll see you later then.”
Smirking, Adam can’t help but say “You already said that”
Rolling his eyes, Ronan hits Adam with his glove gently before putting it on his hand and opening the door,
“Goodbye, Parrish, I’ll make sure to pray all your sins away.”
Adam tilts his head to the side and grins, “Maybe not all of them.”
Ronan’s eyes widen for a second before he just shakes his head and closes the door with a choked off laugh.
Adam doesn’t remember too many Christmases in his life.
Distantly he recalls feeling alone, dejected year after year as he became more aware of how important this time was for other families and yet not for his.
He remembers accepting the fact that other children got presents and he wouldn’t and that was fine.
He’s spent the last few Holiday seasons with Blue and her family, her aunts have been teaching him how to use tarot cards correctly and one of them, Persephone even said he could join their circle someday.
But today has to be the best one by far.
Gansey, Blue and Adam watch Netflix until Ronan returns, bringing Matthew and Declan with him.
Declan and Ronan get working on Christmas dinner as Matthew excitedly gets to know both Blue and Adam while Gansey joins the conversation in bits and pieces but spends a large amount of time trying to take subtle glances at Blue.
An hour into digging into the holiday chocolate boxes while listening to Christmas music and there’s a knock on the door downstairs which Ronan begrudgingly goes down to get it, muttering about how he hopes it’s not somebody wanting the bar to open because that’s not happening today.
When he appears at the sitting room door again, his scowl is still apparent and contrasts greatly to the bubbling bright grin on the face of the young man behind him.
The Asian boy is tall but considerably shorter than Ronan, he’s wearing black jeans, a white t-shirt and black blazer and his dark hair is high and gelled back to the right.
One would have to not be attracted to men to not find this boy immensely attractive.
“Henry!” Gansey exclaims, a grin matching the one he wore when he first saw Blue taking over his face and Henry mirrors it, strolling forward and pulling Gansey up off the couch to embrace him in a hug.
“I thought you were in Venezuela for the holidays” Ronan grumbles “Thought we’d successfully gotten rid of you.”
Henry laughs delicately and turns to clasp Ronan’s hand upright with his and clasp his back with his other hand, “I missed you too, Lynch”.
Henry then turns to see Blue and Adam stretched on the floor in front of the TV and raises his eyebrows, “Oh, I see we’ve new additions! Ronan I thought you only made friends once every five years!”
“Do you want dinner or not Cheng?” Ronan retorts, stalking into the kitchen, causing Henry to call apologises and insistences that he was just joking after him for a minute before flopping onto the ground beside Adam.
“So, who are our newest additions, Gansey boy?”
Gansey shakes his head, grabs a pillow and sits on it beside Henry, “Ask them yourself, Henry.”
Henry sighs and grins at Blue, “He’s such a mother hen isn’t he” he pinches Gansey’s cheek gently before turning back to Adam and Blue.
“So, what are your names? Who did you come with? Tell me your whole life story! Small talk is a social construct.”
Blue beams, clearly impressed and speaks quickly, “I’m Blue, I’m Adam’s friend who’s a friend of Ronan’s, and we’re from Henrietta”
“Henrietta? No way, my mum lived there for a while”
“No way” Blue echoes and Adam looks at her with a cocked eyebrow, Blue’s never said ‘no way’ in that dramatic shocked voice in her entire life.
“Way” Henry beams back and then lets his dark chocolate eyes flit to Adam, “And you’re Adam, I’m assuming, friend of Ronan’s?”
Adam nods, “Eh yeah, we met a few weeks ago.”
Henry blinks and turns back to Gansey, “A few weeks?”
Gansey leans into Henry slightly and laughs, “I know, what can I say, Adam’s charm stuck to Ronan pretty instantly and to me too.”
Heat rises to Adam’s cheeks which Henry unfortunately notices.
“Oh no, Adam, I’m sorry it’s nothing against you. You seem so nice. Ronan just, well he’s not the best at making friends.”
“What he means to say” Ronan interrupts above them, causing the five of them to spin on the ground and turn to the looming figure in the doorway, “Is that I don’t like people and these two had to cling to me for months to get me to put up with them so he’s very jealous.”
Henry gasps and opens his mouth to retort but then he sighs,
“Actually yeah that’s an accurate depiction of what happened.”
Gansey laughs and pats Henry’s shoulder, “There, there Henry.”
Adam catches Ronan fondly rolling his eyes at the pair before turning to Blue and Adam,
“Declan says dinner’s ready, blame him if it’s shite.”
Dinner was in fact not shite in Adam’s opinion, the Lynch brothers had gone all out with their turkey, ham, stuffing and roasted vegetables, so much so that there was definitely more food on the table today than there had been last night at the restaurant.
Conversation consists of Henry and Gansey launching excitedly into history rambles which leads Adam to learn they’re in the same course together which is how they met and which interests Blue greatly too even though she used to fall asleep in history class and they spend most of dinner talking about this famous Welsh King that Gansey’s enthralled by.
Ronan and Blue temporarily argue over something as trivial as music, some band that nobody else at the table has heard of but Ronan despises and Blue loves causing Adam to worry over how well they’ll get along but it’s soon clear it’s just playful bickering and when Blue looks at Adam afterwards, it’s with disgruntled admiration and not hatred which is impressive for Blue.
Declan politely asks Adam all about his course and what career he hopes to launch into and Adam would feel intimidated by the list of questions except he’d been planning his life out career wise since he was eight.
Adam insists on washing up and despite refusing anyone else’s help Ronan ignores him and starts drying anyway.
The others migrate to the sitting room and Adam distantly hears Matthew and Henry debating over which movie they should watch, leaving Ronan and Adam alone in kitchen.
Over the sound of gushing water, the silence between them wouldn’t be as noticeable if it weren’t for Adam’s keen awareness of it.
They finish the dishes in silence and after staring at each other for a moment, Adam reaches a hand into his pocket and hands something over to Ronan, deciding now was as good a time as any.
Ronan cocks an eyebrow and smirks but when Adam drops the money into his hand, Ronan’s expression turns dark and he scoffs.
“Adam-“
“No, please just take it” Adam pleads
Ronan huffs, “I don’t want to, I don’t need it, you don’t have to-“
“I do” Adam persists, “I can’t explain it, not yet but it’s just something I always have to do.”
Watching him for a minute before stuffing the money into the back of his jeans pocket, Ronan shrugs,
“Fine but you owe me”
Adam frowns, “No, I did owe you; that was me paying you back.”
“Which I didn’t want you to do” Ronan replies simply “But I let you so now you’ve to answer my next question honestly as repayment.”
Adam lets out a laugh and nods, leaning against the counter,
“Alright, go ahead, Lynch”
Stepping closer to him until all Adam can smell is that goddamn aftershave of trees and the earth and comfort, Ronan looks down at him and asks clearly,
“Would you like to go on a date with me?”
There’s a break of even more silence and Adam’s not sure how he himself is going to react. Part of him is grateful he’s not eating something as he’d choke on it with shock but also part of him feels like bursting into laughter.
He does neither and instead feels his lips widen into a smile.
“Sure” Adam replies, placing a hand on Ronan’s hip and feeling that he was right before about how unbelievably soft this jumper was, “Only if you let me pay though”
Ronan tilts his head back and laughs, “Fine, Parrish. But you could just pay me in other ways, you know”
Adam rolls his eyes and kisses Ronan on the cheek, “Maybe on the second date” before turning away and walking back to the sitting room, trying to wipe the grin from his face before Blue catches it and pesters him mercilessly about it.
Later that night, Adam’s sitting on the couch watching some DreamWorks movie, his knees touching Ronan’s who is sitting beside him when he hears his phone buzz.
Today, he’s not annoyed at seeing Proko messaging the group chat, wishing them a Happy Holidays and saying how he’s sure he’ll see them soon after the break.
Adam turns to glance at Ronan who’s already watching him with a raised eyebrow and Adam smiles, turning back to his phone, knowing instantly what he’s going to say,
“Happy holidays to you too Proko. I’m sure we will; same time, same place once the semester starts?”
Putting his phone on silent and in his pocket, Adam settles back into the couch and ever so slightly more so into Ronan who allows it and moves closer to him in turn.
Adam knows that he’ll meet up with his study group in the Greywaren again but somehow he knows that the next time he comes back here will be well before then.
He can only imagine the field day Proko will have when he discovers the sober Adam has fallen for the owner of his favourite bar but Adam simply smiles at the ironic thought.
And when Ronan’s warm fingertips walk into Adam’s hand on the couch and he intertwines their fingers, Adam tries to stop his breath from catching while the only thing running through his mind as the movie comes to an end is that Proko joining his study group had to be the best thing that happened all year.
Well other than meeting the bartender with the shaved head, sparkling blue eyes and raven tattoo of course.