Work Text:
How do you love someone without getting hurt?
How do you love someone without crawling in the dirt?
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‘You can’t love someone unless you love yourself first’
Bullshit.
He has have never loved himself.
But Bakugou, oh god.
Whoever had quoted that, had clearly had not been in love. Had not loved so much that their heart felt like it would simply stop beating; That when they were alone, without their loved one, they couldn’t breathe around the gaping pit of loneliness, lodged deep within their chest.
Kirishima knew that he loved Bakugou more that himself. It was as certain as the sun rising every day, the one pin-pick of of black and white in this world of grey. He had never doubted the truth of it for a secound.
Was it unhealthy? Yes.
Was he going to stop? No.
He was like a moth to a flame, flying too close and inevitably burning to death by the one he loved most. Despite the risks, he never stopped, always happily going back for more. It was self-destructive; an addition that was slowly killing him…
But he never wanted to stop.
It fuelled him in the mornings when he wanted nothing more but than to lay in bed, curled up in a ball, watching time blur by. It got him smiling, when all he wanted to do was scream about how unfair it was that he born such a pathetic waste of space-
It kept him living, the one spot of light on his darkest days. It yelled at him to never give up on his dreams you ‘stupid shitty-hair’ (Bakugou’s words, not his)
Such aspiration came as easy as breathing to Bakugou.
Bakugou was born for greatness, always pushing to be number one at everything and anything. From the littlest challenge to the hardest challenge–he gave it his 110% with a smirk on his face.
He dared to push his limits till he grew stronger, refusing to break under the pressure and uncaring cared about anyone’s opinions. He’s so villainous, he will never make a hero, civilians and pro heros alike would whisper behind his back, but Bakugou would only used their hate to fuel his conquest. Nothing other than being the greatest was enough and he would burn down everyone’s expectations.
Standing next to such manliness…it was hard not to feel unworthy. A mere stepping stone on Bakugou’s journey to greatness, undeserving of his precious time and attention.
To those who didn’t personally know Bakugou (didn't take the time to peel back the hard layers to what lay underneath) some might say that Kirishima could do so much better and Kirishima couldn’t exactly deny that Bakugou was not exactly ’normal’ prime dating material.
Bakugou regularly screamed his hatred for everyone and everything, at all hours of the day. He was outright disgusted at holding hands with Kirishima, scoffed at romantic gestures and refused PDA. He was crude in his language and presentation – even getting targeted and kidnapped by villans who believed he was one of them.
But it was the little things that made the difference (The moments that lured Kirishima to Bakugou, like a moth to the light.)
The short sweet smiles he would give Kirishima in the safety of their rooms.
His precious sleep he gave up, helping Kirishima cram for a test the next day.
(The times, Bakugou sat with him, letting him sob on his shoulder, for hours on end without complaint, when everything got to much and he just wanted to give up and- )
In Kirishima’s eyes, it was Bakugou who was way out of his league and he would forever remember the moment he fell in love.
They were both little first years at UA, when Bakugou invited him along to go hiking with him, revealing his secret spot high up in the mountains.
It was there that Bakugou kissed him for the first time and like everything he did, it was with the confidence that Kirishima had so envied. Bakugou kissed him like he was the most precious thing on the planet, with a desperate, raw fervour, like one-day Kirishima would up and leave without him.
It was in that moment, the sky above bleeding into pinks and reds, that Kirishima fell even more in love with the man who stole his heart. The millions of twinkling stars overhead seemed to mock his discovery, but Kirishima didn’t care. He was past the point of return and he never wanted to come back.
He’s a secound year now. More jaded and bitter, his childhood innocence long burned to the ground. Many things have changed since he was a first-year, but the one thing that hadn’t wavered (would never waver) was his unending love for his boyfriend.
Kirishima was, and still is, a selfish, suicidal idiot and he would continue to stick around Bakugou however long Bakugou wanted him. Until Bakugou realised that he could do better – a lot better than someone who had to pop pills to feel normal- and inevitably cut Kirishima from his life.
It hurt. It burned having the inevitable expiry date of their relationship always looming, but Kirishima would savour these precious moments of their relationship now, while he could.
Life was fleeting, but Kirishima would gladly crash and burn to death, a million times over, if it meant he could savour this fleeting happiness with Bakugou.