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”You honestly think he’s going to show up?”
Jordan’s whining was starting to irritate Josh. So what they had been standing in a drizzle for almost two hours? So what the other fans, a gaggle of girls in mini-skirts, had left half an hour ago, leaving Josh and Jordan waiting alone?
So what. There was still a fair chance that Tyler Joseph was going to walk past them any minute, and Josh was eager to meet him.
”You’ve already met him, like thrice,” Jordan continued his complaining, ”Why did you have to drag me out here in this lousy weather?”
”Because I wanted company! But I’m not going to take you again because you’re driving me up the wall. Besides, isn’t it exciting to meet a celebrity?” said Josh.
Jordan rolled his eyes. ”Yeah, if he’s ever going to show up… Besides, I like his music and all, but really? The guy? I’ve heard he’s douche. A real player. You’re too sweet to obsess over someone like him.”
Josh shushed his brother, hearing footsteps approaching, accompanied by the murmur of speech.
And soon enough, a trio Josh was very familiar with walked around the corner.
”Oh!” exclaimed Jenna Black, Tyler’s PR manager, ”I wasn’t expecting anyone out here waiting for us,” she muttered to the man next to her, Michael Gibson, Tyler’s tour manager slash bodyguard, who was looking at Tyler, expecting his reaction.
But Tyler Joseph’s brown eyes had drilled into Josh, and Josh’s heart was beating out of his chest.
”Tyler?” said Michael quietly. Tyler only raised his chin slightly, his gaze sharpening and not leaving Josh. Josh’s hands were shaking with hope and nerves.
Tyler lifted his hand, pushing Michael back gently. He sauntered a few steps towards Josh and Jordan.
”Hi,” Josh choked out. He couldn’t look away from him.
”Hi,” Tyler smiled back. He was hiding underneath a black snapback, looking a bit tired. Remnants of his stage make-up were still visible on his neck. He looked all casual in his Adidas-jacket; not even an inch of a superstar. Despite that he was still Josh’s entire world.
This was the fourth time Josh was meeting his idol. The first time had been just a quick hello I admire you so much, the second time Tyler had signed Josh’s CD case booklet, and the third time Josh had gotten a one-armed hug and a selfie.
Every time had left a huge smile on his face, and he had babbled about the encounters to Jordan so much that his brother had often been fencing on falling asleep.
Josh didn’t know what to say, but luckily Tyler got him,
”Were you here all by yourself for two hours?” he asked.
”No,” Josh squeaked, ”There were others, but they already left.”
”Well, I have to say I admire your relentlessness. What’s your name?”
”Josh,” Josh managed to splutter out.
”You?” Tyler said, glancing at Jordan.
”Jordan,” he answered, bouncing on the balls of his feet.
Tyler glanced back at his companions. Jenna’s face screamed oh-god-let’s-go-already but Michael’s was a mask of indifference.
”Joshua,” Tyler voiced slowly, ”We were just heading back to the hotel. Would you like join us?”
Jordan’s jaw dropped. Michael’s eyebrows climbed toward his hairline, and Jenna looked at Tyler like she wanted to scream what the hell are you doing, Tyler?
Josh didn’t know what to do, what to say. He’d heard the rumors, or rather, seen them circling around the internet. The same talk Jordan has mentioned just a couple of minutes earlier. Tyler the player, always surrounded by people fawning over him. He was taking people left and right back to his hotel room.
Josh, of course, didn’t believe those rumors. That’s why he was so conflicted now – what would Tyler want of him? He was just – Josh. An awkward fan who only wanted a tiny bit of Tyler’s attention, nothing more. Anything more would be unrealistic.
And now, Tyler freaking Joseph had invited him to his hotel room. This was something straight out of Josh’s wildest dreams.
If only Jordan weren’t there, making his presence known by clearing his throat.
Tyler seemed to hesitate. ”You can come too,” he finally decided, although looking unhappy.
Jordan raised his palms. ”I think I’m good. Josh?”
It was either his brother or Tyler Joseph, which was a tough choice, to put it lightly. He glanced at Jordan unsurely, but Jordan simply rolled his eyes. Josh knew what he meant. Ugh, just go if you want to. Nevermind your little brother.
Josh suppressed a grin that was threatening to take over his face. He didn’t know what this all meant, but he couldn’t help feeling excited. His whole body tingled, heart pounded. All because Tyler Joseph’s gaze was on him. All because Tyler Joseph had taken interest in him.
”You go,” Jordan ushered, ”I’ll drive home. Call me if you need me.” The look Jordan gave Josh was poignant. Josh nodded solemnly while simultaneously bursting.
”Perfect,” said Tyler, offering his arm to Josh. ”Shall we go?”
Giddily, Josh took his idol’s arm, and left with a final glance towards Jordan’s back. He filled with nerves and excitement.
Josh had no idea where they were heading. It was a quiet night, and only the sounds of their slow steps filled the warm late evening. Even though they spoke no words, Josh enjoyed himself, playing Tyler Joseph’s armpiece.
He was Tyler Joseph’s armpiece. He was literally hanging on his arm, fully succumbing to be led by Tyler wherever he chose to take him.
Finally, a shiny black limo appeared in front of them, seemingly out of nowhere.
”Jenna, could you please take the front seat this time?” Tyler requested, as Michael climbed behind the wheel.
Jenna eyed Josh, but Josh found her gaze hard to read. He knew Jenna as Tyler’s tough-as-nails PR manager, who was the master at keeping Tyler’s unhinged fans at bay. People respected her more than the actual muscle-mass Michael Gibson.
”Fine,” Jenna huffed, and climbed into the car next to Michael.
It was only Tyler and Josh alone in the backseat. Josh had never been in a limousine before, not even to prom. Never in his wildest dreams he would have imagined he’d be sitting opposite to Tyler Joseph of all people, in a limo backseat out of all things. It all felt like a Hollywood movie.
Tyler was indeed there, sitting like a god, legs crossed, arms spread, as if the leather seat were his throne. He was eyeing Josh from head to toe, faint smirk ever present on his face.
Josh’s nerves were playing with him. He had always been an anxious person, freezing in numerous situations. His brain was whispering to him to freak out, but something about Tyler calmed him. Tyler had been a constant in his life for years now. His music inspired Josh and gave him solace. He was Josh’s safe haven, and even though Josh was basically in the backseat of a stranger’s car, it was Tyler Joseph. Josh trusted the situation. He trusted Tyler.
Josh knew it was kind of foolish. He also didn’t care.
”What’s on your mind?” Tyler asked. Silence had hung long between them, but it hadn’t been an uncomfortable one.
”I- Nothing,” Josh said with a nervous smile. Tyler answered his smile, eyes sparkling a little. He was beautiful, even more so in person than on screen. He seemed to radiate power and hope.
”We’re soon at the hotel. It isn’t a long way from here,” Tyler commented, glancing out of the dark-tinted windows.
”Are there usually a lot of fans at the hotel?” Josh asked.
”No,” Tyler answered, ”They rarely know. If they do, not this late.”
But when they got out of the car with their entourage, there were two young girls waiting for them, expressions starstruck when they noticed Tyler.
Tyler, ever so polite, stopped to smile and take pictures with the girls, offering them some meaningless small talk. Josh stood aside next to Jenna and Michael. The second girl’s eyes trailed towards them and stayed on Josh a second too long for Josh’s comfort, curiosity flashing briefly in them. Then the girls hugged Tyler once more and left with hurry in their steps. They’d gotten what they wanted. Josh couldn’t help feeling smug that he may be getting even more.
Tyler wrapped his arm around Josh’s waist as they walked through the hotel’s double doors. His warm side against Josh’s made Josh’s head swim. Tyler smelled heavenly.
They were met by a very tired-looking Mark Eshleman, who took one look at Josh, and then turned to Tyler with judging raised eyebrows.
”Joseph, what’s this?” he asked, with a tone that suggested he was thinking what the hell this time, Tyler? Josh had the sudden urge to stare at his shoes. Mark could be intimidating if he wanted to, taking in the fact that he usually was the opposite.
”This is Joshua,” Tyler said, like it was self-explanatory. Josh didn’t dare say anything.
Mark’s eyebrows climbed even higher. Tyler rolled his eyes, and took Josh’s hand, making him blush. ”Don’t be stressed over him, Mark,” Tyler dismissed Mark, and began to drag Josh towards his room.
He kicked the door shut behind them and double-checked that it was locked. Then he turned to Josh with a face-splitting smile.
Josh kind of wanted to ask what the deal with Mark was, but then Tyler had suddenly approached him. He was on Josh’s skin; body against body, sending pleasant shivers down Josh’s spine.
”Do you want something to drink?” Tyler asked in a low voice, hands trailing Josh’s sides. ”The minibar is all yours.” His chest touched Josh’s, and Josh was certain Tyler could feel his racing heartbeat.
”I’m good,” Josh swallowed.
”Let’s sit down,” Tyler said, and gently yanked Josh down on the divan couch. ”Just a sec,” Tyler muttered, reaching over to the minibar and picking a Red Bull can from there.
”Want a sip?” Tyler inquired, tilting the can toward Josh, but Josh declined with a shake of his head. He was way too nervous; his shaking hands would’ve probably let the can drop.
Tyler gulped down maybe half the can, then set it aside. Josh sensed his gaze on him, but instead of being brave and staring right back at Tyler, he opted looking at the carpet.
”Joshua,” Tyler said softly, and then Josh had to look up at him. ”Can I kiss you?”
Fearing his voice might betray him, Josh could only nod. Of course, he wanted that. He felt dizzy as Tyler’s gaze dropped from Josh’s eyes to his lips, and then he started to inch closer, making Josh’s heartbeat skyrocket.
Experimentally, Tyler pressed his lips against Josh’s, not even delving deeper, just being there, stubble scratching Josh’s chin.
Was he waiting for Josh to make the next move? Josh nudged his face slightly, rubbing his nose against Tyler’s. Tyler let out a chuckle against Josh’s lips, then dived deeper into the kiss, slipping his tongue between Josh’s lips.
Fireworks.
That was all that came into Josh’s mind. Fireworks, and Tyler, and the taste of Tyler and the feel of Tyler.
He had no idea kissing could feel like this.
Tyler’s fingers were on the hem of Josh’s shirt, then his whole hand slipping underneath, palm pressed against Josh’s toned stomach. Goosebumps rose all over Josh’s skin as Tyler’s hand wondered around. He pushed Josh gently so that he was laying on the divan, Tyler climbing on top of him.
His thumb slipped underneath Josh’s waistband, and that was when Josh pressed his palm against Tyler’s chest and pushed him slightly.
”No,” he breathed, dislodging their lips for the first time. Josh wasn’t sure he wanted to go further with Tyler right now, so it was best to just pull the brakes. He might come to regret something if he continued.
”No?” Tyler asked, confused, ”Is everything alright?”
”Yeah, I just…” Josh felt flushed all over. Tyler sat up, thighs still bracketing Josh’s, and something clearly still going on in his pants.
”It’s okay,” Tyler assured. ”If you’re not up for more, then I’m not up for more.”
”It’s just… I’ve never…” Josh couldn’t get the words out, couldn’t even look at Tyler.
”Done it with a guy?”
”Done it. In general,” Josh admitted, biting his lip.
”Oh,” Tyler said softly, ”Well that’s okay, Joshua.” He climbed off Josh, and Josh instantly missed his warmth. ”Let’s just go to bed and cuddle, then,” he offered, taking Josh’s hand.
Josh was so okay with that.
--
The Next Day
”Jenna!”
Tyler’s sharp voice almost startled her. Jenna turned quickly around on her heels and was met by Tyler marching determinedly towards her.
”Jenna, listen, I need you to do me a favor,” Tyler began. Jenna almost sighed. Those were not rare words heard from Tyler.
”A huge, personal favor,” Tyler added, halting in front Jenna.
To be fair, Jenna had tons of other work to do than personal favors to Tyler, but she let it slip. She cared about Tyler as a friend and had promised she’d do anything for him.
”I’m all ears,” Jenna said.
Tyler sighed. He looked a little tired and lost, which was a usual look on Tyler, but this morning there was something else in his eyes.
Concern churned in Jenna’s stomach. ”Is everything alright, Ty?” she had to ask.
”Remember Joshua?” Tyler asked.
Honestly, Jenna did not. ”Joshua?”
”The guy…” But Tyler didn’t have to finish, since images from last night quickly returned to Jenna’s mind.
”Oh, him!” The undeniably cute fanboy Tyler had taken with him. That had been out of character for Tyler. Despite the rumors, Tyler didn’t do groupies, even though people pushed themselves towards him left and right.
”Yeah, him,” Tyler muttered, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. ”He, um, left.”
”Left?”
”Yeah, um, he stayed at my room but in the morning, he was gone.”
”And?”
”I want you to find him,” Tyler stated.
Jenna could have sworn that by the afternoon, she’d have a massive, Tyler-related headache.
”Alright, what’s his name?” Jenna gave in. She could always push this to Mark. Mark wouldn’t be any more delighted than Jenna, but he was a miracle maker. He could even make Tyler forget about this boy completely, if he willed so.
”Joshua,” Tyler said, eyes turning dreamy.
”Joshua?”
”Yes.”
”Just Joshua?”
Tyler started fidgeting. ”Yeah, well, it didn’t come to my mind to ask his whole name, we were otherwise occupied…”
Jenna really didn’t want to know more.
”I didn’t think he’d leave,” Tyler admitted, a lost look in his eyes. Jenna felt a bit bad for him.
”I’ll find him, somehow,” Jenna found herself promising. It was going to be hard, but maybe she could do it. Clearly, this boy had already come to mean something to Tyler.
”Thank you, Jenna, you’re an angel,” Tyler smiled and kissed Jenna’s cheek before running off, and shouting, ”Invite him to that party next week, will you?”
How was she going to do this? She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.
Better she got on with it. She angled her sleek iPhone from her bag and opened her contacts.
Mark would help. He would be reluctant, but he would help.
”Yes?” His calm voice answered. Jenna braced herself.
”Mark, it’s Jenna. I need you to do a huge favor me.”
Mark was silent for a moment. ”This has to do with Tyler, correct?”
”Always. Do you know how get a hold of the records of who were at the show last night?”
”I can request the ticket seller for it,” Mark said. ”What for?”
”Well, remember the boy who was with Tyler…”
Mark groaned. ”Is this to do with some random hookup of his? I really thought he didn’t do those…”
”With Tyler, nothing is random…”
”Yeah, you’re speaking the truth, Jen. But why do you need the list?”
”Well, Tyler doesn’t know his full name…”
”You’ve got to be kidding me,” Mark marveled, ”Didn’t he manage to take his tongue out of the guy’s mouth for a second to switch contacts with him… Unbelievable… Typical Tyler…”
”He only knows his name is Joshua,” Jenna told.
”Joshua… Alright, Jen, I’ll narrow it down for you and send the info of potential right Joshuas to you. Give it an hour or two.”
”Thank you, Mark! You’re a lifesaver!”
An exact hour later Jenna’s phone pinged with a message:
Dun, Joshua William.
He’s the right one. 100% sure.
--
”I can’t believe you made out with Tyler Joseph!” Jordan whisper-shouted.
Josh blushed scarlet, covering his face with his hands. He couldn’t believe it either. It had been like a dream.
”Dude, what happened?” Jordan inquired. Josh started to regret telling him even that little about what had happened.
”We just made out and went to sleep.”
”Sure,” Jordan snorted.
”Seriously!” Josh insisted. ”I mean, he would’ve wanted more but I said no, and we just… cuddled.” Somehow, Josh made that sound more intimate than sex. He blushed even a deeper shade of red.
”Dude,” Jordan gaped. ”Um, why?”
”Why what?”
”Any other fan would have just slept with him.”
”Are you… shaming me for not sleeping with him?”
”No, no, no,” Jordan rushed to say, ”I think you made the right call. It’s just… He’s been your wet dream for like… ages. I can’t believe you got to be completely alone with Tyler Joseph and still kept your v-card.”
”Yeah, well, I did not sleep with him, end of the story. Besides, it feels kind of awesome being able to say that I have turned Tyler Joseph down.”
”Like anyone’s going to believe you,” Jordan chuckled.
”Like I’m going to tell anyone either way,” Josh shot back.
When Jordan left to go jogging with his friend, Josh went to his room and let himself think for a while.
His lips still tingled. He could still almost taste Tyler, feel his stubble, feel his weight on him. Josh heartbeat began to speed up. That had really happened. Tyler Joseph had taken one look at Josh and decided to take him back to his hotel room to fuck. Well, if Josh had only let him.
Were all the rumors true, after all? Did Tyler really take just any people with him, was Josh only just one of many?
Josh had never believed the rumors before, mainly because similar ones surrounded nearly every celebrity. Now, he had doubts.
I can’t believe he chose me.
Josh sighed and opened his laptop. He had yet to check the social media, to scroll through posts and pictures of the last night’s concert.
Same old, same old, it seemed to be. Blurry pictures, shaky videos, screaming fans.
Until Josh stumbled into the pictures the two girls at the hotel had taken.
He could see himself standing in the background. And some others had noticed him, too.
Who’s that guy? Literally next to Michael and Jenna like he’s part of the crew?
Maybe he’s Tyler’s relative?
Or friend?
Hah, guys, most likely his latest hookup!
Another groupie…
Ugh, I hate those sluts…
With an ass like that, no wonder Tyler took him to have a little ”fun” alone...
I didn’t know Ty was into dudes.
He’s cute, though!
An uneasy feeling churned in Josh’s stomach. What made him feel even worse was that at least half the things said were actually true.
He closed Twitter and opened his e-mail, to get his mind somewhere else. Maybe his boss had finally sent him next week’s shifts. They were due, anyway.
His plan, however, backfired, when he saw the latest mail he’d gotten.
Josh opened the message and almost fell out of his chair.
Dear Mr. Dun,
I am contacting you on behalf of Mr. Tyler Joseph, with whom you – to my knowledge – spent time with last night, post-concert. If we have contacted the wrong Joshua, please inform me by responding to this message.
This morning, Mr. Joseph was sad to find you gone without informing him or leaving any means of contacting you. That’s why he requested me to find a way of getting in touch with you, and to inform you that he is very interested in spending more time with you, and that he has invited you to a party in celebration of his tour ending next weekend. He’d be delighted if you could come.
If you are, in fact, interested in joining him, please do contact me asap with the information of where you can be picked up and escorted to the party.
Hope I hear from you soon!
Best regards,
Jenna Black
Public Relations
Fueled by Ramen
--
Dear Ms. Black,
You have contacted the right person. Tell Tyler I’ll come. Here’s my address:
21 Forest Lane
Columbus, Ohio
Josh Dun
--
Dear Josh,
Tyler is exhilarated that you’ve decided to come! Mr. Michael Gibson will fetch you at 8PM sharp next Friday. If you have any more questions, you can contact him via email which I have cc’d.
We all look forward to seeing you.
Sincerely,
Jenna Black
Public Relations
Fueled by Ramen
--
Dear Mr. Gibson,
My name is Joshua Dun, I’m a guest of Tyler Joseph’s for the party next Friday. Jenna Black left me your e-mail address in case I must contact you. My shift unfortunately ends at 8PM next Friday. I have to join the party later. Could you possibly pick me up at 9PM instead? I hope Jenna already gave you my address.
Best regards,
Josh Dun
--
Dear Joshua,
9PM works for me. Expect me then at 21 Forest Lane.
Sincerely,
Michael B. Gibson
Tour Manager and Head of Security
Fueled by Ramen
--
The house was empty when Josh got back from work. He had mentioned in passing to his mother that he was going out with friends, a little white lie that was technically true. His parents were meeting with some old friends of theirs, the girls had gone to the movies, and Jordan was somewhere with his friends.
As quick as he could, Josh showered, dried his hair with Ashley’s hairdryer – that wheezing thing scared him, but it did the job – and put on something nicer than the worn-out shirt and dirty jeans he had had on at work.
It was ten to nine, and Josh was standing in the hall in front of a mirror, evaluating the way he looked. He had put on his most sprayed-on pitch black jeans and a brand-new blue t-shirt. He hadn’t done anything to his hair, just let it be there, all curly and a little mousy.
At least his nose ring made him look a little interesting. Otherwise he was just plain Josh. He sighed.
And still, Tyler Joseph wanted to meet him. Josh was right to feel a little starstruck.
He brought a hand to his lips and smiled to himself. He had kissed Tyler Joseph. Tyler Joseph had kissed him.
Passionately.
With one last glance to the mirror to check everything was in its place, Josh ventured into the darkening evening.
Michael Gibson was a very punctual man. The headlights of his black security car appeared at the end of Forest Lane precisely when Josh glanced at his phone screen and saw the numbers turn from 8:59 to 9:00.
”Good evening, Joshua,” Michael greeted with a smile as he reached over to open the passenger door for Josh. ”Please do come sit over here next to me, there’s no need sulk in the backseat like Tyler,” he continued, chuckling.
Josh offered him a nervous smile. ”Thank you, Mr. Gibson.”
”And please, call me Michael,” Michael said and started to drive slowly along the dimly lit street.
”Then you can call me Josh. Only my mom calls me Joshua, occasionally,” Josh answered.
”Josh,” Michael repeated, ”How was work?”
Josh was surprised that Michael wanted to attempt small talk. ”Good. The usual. Slow.”
”Where do you work?”
”Guitar Center.”
”Oh. You into music?” Michael asked.
”I play the drums, whenever I have the change,” Josh admitted.
”Tyler’s going to like that.”
Josh blushed. Right. Tyler.
”Where are you taking me?” Josh changed the subject.
”Just outside the city,” Michael replied, ”Tyler owns a fancy estate there, though he never stays there. Prefers his rathole of a flat in the center of the city.”
The fact that Tyler Joseph also lived in Columbus, like Josh, had always excited him. He had fantasized about running into Tyler in the park, or the nearest grocery shop for all that matter. Now, his dreams had become reality in the most unexpected way.
”How large is the party?” Josh asked.
”Huge,” said Michael. Josh started to feel nervous. Crowds had always made him feel uneasy. He hoped he could squeeze into a quieter corner, preferably with Tyler in tow.
He hoped he wouldn’t raise any attention, but he also feared that hope was useless. He had already been noticed at the hotel with Tyler, and speculations still circled all over Twitter and Tumblr, and probably on the other sites, as well. Attention would most likely follow him.
Josh could hear the music from afar, the low thrum of the bass and the people cheering and singing. When Michael parked the car, Josh realized he was actually there. And he wouldn’t be a coward. He wouldn’t ask Michael to start the engine and back away from the garage. He wouldn’t go back home without at least seeing Tyler.
Like he had been reading Josh’s mind, Michael said,
”Look, any time you want to leave, just come and tell me, and I’ll take you home. Or Tyler. Or Jenna. Or Mark. You know Mark Eshleman, right?”
Josh nodded. ”Let’s go, then.”
The inside was louder than the outside. Josh would just know that his ears would be ringing when he’d get home at night – and it wouldn’t be tolerable like post-concert, when the ringing only reminded of the fun night left behind. It would be anxiety-inducing.
He followed Michael, staring at his broad shoulders, as he pushed through the mass of dancing people.
”Where are we going?” Josh shouted through the noise.
”Tyler!” Michael shouted back. A smile slipped onto Josh’s face. Tyler.
Michael guided Josh to the empty terrace outside. A moment of peace filled Josh as he set his eyes on the starry sky.
”I’ll go get Tyler,” Michael muttered, and left Josh alone. Josh closed his eyes and breathed.
It didn’t take long for Tyler to arrive. And then, everything seemed to disappear, even the stars. It was just Tyler, his lips twitching into a smile as he slowly approached Josh.
”You were gone in the morning. You were gone, and I missed you,” he said with a husky tone, grabbing Josh by the belt loops and pulling him flush against him.
”Is this okay?” Tyler whispered. Josh nodded, clearing his throat.
”Tyler?” he asked, not being able to lift his gaze from Tyler’s perfect plush lips.
”What, babe?” Tyler answered. His hands had found Josh’s ass, squeezing it.
”Um, what’s this?”
”What?”
Josh stared at Tyler meaningfully. A smirked ghosted over Tyler’s lips, glistened in his eyes.
”This is anything you want it to be.”
”I just-” Josh didn’t find the words to say, but luckily Tyler saw his discomfort. He detached himself from Josh, but grabbed his hand instead, guiding Josh to sit with on the terrace stairs.
”Listen, I’ve heard the rumors,” Josh began, hoping it wasn’t too blunt of him.
Tyler didn’t seem angry, though. ”All just rumors,” he scoffed, ”I don’t sleep around. People just push themselves towards me. Everything is only tabloid nonsense.”
”I know,” said Josh softly. He had known, all along. ”But why me?”
Tyler stared at Josh, eyes soft. Beautiful soft brown, kind and intelligent, and so utterly Tyler.
”Joshua,” Tyler said, ”I love that name. A beautiful name, suits you so well.” He brought his hand on Josh face and caressed his lips with his thumb. The other hand wandered on Josh’s thigh. Tyler seemed to enjoy touching him.
”You’re gorgeous, Joshua,” Tyler whispered, kissing Josh lightly, ”I always thought that whenever I saw you.”
”Saw me?”
”I saw you many times, in my shows, sometimes after them.” Both of his palms were now cupping Josh’s cheeks. ”I often wondered… Who you were. What you’d be like. And it turned out you intoxicate me. I can’t stop thinking about you.” He kissed Josh again, this time more passionately.
”You saw me at your shows? You remembered me?” Josh didn’t know what to think of that. He thought his face was one of those that people tended to forget.
”How could I forget a beautiful face like yours?” said Tyler, as if he was reading Josh’s thoughts. Tyler’s smile was blinding, and Josh couldn’t help smiling back. Tyler leaned in to kiss him, his tongue swiping over Josh’s bottom lip.
They made out for a while, under the stars, hands roaming, lips never leaving each other. To Josh, it was close to heaven. Actually, it was heaven.
Tyler grabbed Josh’s wrist gently and brought Josh’s hand to his abdomen. Josh leaned clumsily toward Tyler, and his hand fell on Tyler’s crotch.
”Sorry,” he muttered, blushing, and placing his hand on Tyler’s upper thigh instead. He had definitely felt that Tyler was getting excited.
Tyler smirked, shifting so that Josh’s hand again brushed his dick through the pants. Then, he brought his lips to Josh’s ear, and whispered,
”Do you want to go upstairs and fuck? No one’s allowed there.”
Josh’s skin tingled from head to toe. He swallowed. ”I’m not sure,” he answered. Tyler pressed a firm kiss on his lips.
”Alright. Is this okay?” he asked and climbed on Josh’s lap. Suddenly, Josh didn’t know where to put his hands when he got himself a lapful of Tyler.
Tyler traced Josh jawline with his lips, running the tip of his tongue over his stubble. Josh thought he should have shaved, but Tyler didn’t seem to mind.
Tyler was just moving his lips back on Josh’s, when the balcony door slid open.
Tyler groaned, ”What is it, Mark?”
Mark rolled his eyes, but then turned more serious. ”Tyler, I need you come and check this.”
”Can’t you see I’m busy?” Tyler whined, gesturing towards Josh. He was still sitting on Josh’s lap.
”Tyler,” Mark said, gritting his teeth, ”It’s urgent. Now.”
So, with a dramatic sigh, Tyler pressed a wet kiss on the corner of Josh’s mouth, and whispered, ”Wait here,” patting Josh’s shoulder.
And then, Josh was alone. He didn’t like it, per se, being alone in a place that was foreign to him, but he could do this. He could wait for Tyler.
Josh stood up, straightening his rumbled shirt. His head was spinning from Tyler’s kisses, from the intimacy. He wished he would’ve been ready for more. But not today, and certainly not here with all the party guests downstairs. He also wished for Tyler to have the patience to wait for the right moment. If he’d become frustrated and leave Josh, Josh didn’t know whether he’d survive the humiliation.
Suddenly, Josh heard the door slid open. Could Tyler be back this soon? Josh thought hopefully. Maybe Josh could take their relationship under discussion. Explain to Tyler that he wanted him, but the moment had to be peaceful, with just them alone.
But it wasn’t Tyler who had joined him at the terrace.
”Hey,” the guy grinned. He was tall, he had a few days old stubble, and moss green eyes.
”Hi,” replied Josh shyly, ”Are you looking for someone?”
”Maybe,” the guy said with a wink, and walked toward Josh. Josh backed off to the edge of the terrace, and was left stood there, shoulders rigid.
”Are you one of Joseph’s playthings? I bet you are,” the guy leered. He was way too close, and his cologne was already making Josh nauseous.
”Leave me alone,” Josh had the courage to say.
”Don’t play hard to get. Joseph never minds sharing all the sluts surrounding him. You can crawl back to him after I’ve had my fun with you.”
The words brought tears to Josh’s eyes. Before he could defend himself, the guy had pressed his lips on Josh’s. Josh kept his own tightly shut, feeling the guy’s tongue trying to prod them open. Josh couldn’t open them to protest.
He felts the guy’s hands only his sides, and disgust shot through Josh. He tried shove and kick, but the guy only pulled him closer.
It seemed to go on forever, until something cracked in the bushes behind them, making the guy lose his focus on Josh. Josh acted on instinct, detangling himself and diving under the guy’s arm, running back inside.
Panic was singing in his veins. He was out of breath, as he pushed through the people, cringing every time he had to touch someone. He was terrified that the guy was following him, so when he spotted Michael by the entrance, he sprinted.
”You have to take me home!” he begged.
Michael’s eyes widened as he took in the frantic, teary-eyed Josh in front of him.
”Of course. Did something happen, Joshua?”
”Just take me home,” Josh pleaded.
Josh was grateful that Michael asked no questions as he quietly sobbed the whole way back.
Without even thanking Michael, he ran from the car straight to the bathroom and threw up. Then he spent an hour brushing his teeth, not being able to face himself in the mirror.
Michael didn’t follow him, but that was alright. Josh would have told him to leave.
--
”He got in here? Through Michael and Ben?”
”Yes, Tyler, they’re sneaky little rats,” Mark said.
Tyler groaned, rubbing his forehead. Paparazzi always gave him headache. All they had to do was to snap a grainy picture of Tyler simply standing next to someone, and the next day the tabloids would sing about Tyler fucking this and that person.
The rumors were rarely correct. And Tyler rarely bothered commenting them, unless someone asked him directly. Then he’d just state that they were exaggerated. People moved on in the end, until the next rumors started to surface. It was an endless cycle that had earned Tyler a false reputation. He actually had no clue where it all had started. One day he had woken up as Tyler Joseph, the king of groupies.
”How do they always get in?” Tyler complained, eyeing his estate, now paparazzi-free.
”Barriers would help,” Mark commented.
Tyler shuddered at that. Barriers would only make him feel anxious and trapped, even though he mainly spent his time in his flat in the center of the city instead of the manor.
”No barriers,” Tyler muttered. His thoughts had gone elsewhere. To Joshua. He had left again, without saying a word to Tyler.
It hard hurt Tyler, but Tyler couldn’t force Joshua into anything.
It was just that for the first time in ages, Tyler felt something for someone. He wanted to try something. With Joshua.
”By the way, did you see Joshua leaving last night?” Tyler had to ask Mark.
”Joshua?” Mark pondered.
Tyler felt a blush rising to his cheeks when he remembered the situation Mark had caught them in yesterday. It could have been worse. ”Yeah, the guy-”
”They guy I caught you snogging last night?” Mark deadpanned. ”Jenna and Michael had taken care of him for you. Maybe ask them.”
As on demand, Jenna appeared with Michael in tow. ”Everything under control here?” she asked.
”Yeah, just the usual headache,” Mark said, rubbing his temple for good measure.
Jenna seemed nervous, shifting her weight from leg to leg. Michael kept glancing at Tyler, lips pursed.
Mark seemed to sense the peculiar atmosphere. He took and exaggerated sip from his coffee cup and sighed. ”I’ve got stuff to do. See you later,” he declared before leaving swiftly.
Jenna and Michael kept looking at each other, like they couldn’t decide who should speak first.
”What is it?” Tyler opted to ask.
Jenna clicked her tongue. ”Have you- Have seen the pictures?”
Tyler wasn’t sure he wanted to see any pictures taken without his consent. He simply raised a brow.
Hastily, Jenna took out her phone, opened it, and shoved it into Tyler’s hands, chewing her bottom lip hesitantly.
Tyler looked down at the screen and his eyes landed on an article Jenna had opened for him.
Tyler Joseph Conquers Once Again – But, Oh? What Happens Next?
He half cringed, half frowned at the headline, but continued reading.
The eccentric singer Tyler Joseph hosted a party last Friday, the number of guests, consisting of the most famed current young musicians according to our source, climbing up to hundreds.
Joseph himself, notorious for his constant and countless hook-ups, was spotted with an unrecognized young man in an intimate situation!
It’s rare to snap a picture of Tyler Joseph with his tongue down someone’s throat, regardless of the confirmed casual relationships he’s had. Joseph is very strict with his image, and never confirms the affairs. But you can’t deny this, Tyler!
Followed, over ten photos of Tyler making out passionately with Joshua.
Tyler’s stomach churned. He didn’t mind that much, but Joshua would. And Tyler knew exactly what people would make of that innocent bright-eyed boy.
Slut. Fucking groupie. Only after fifteen minutes of fame.
The article went on:
The pair was then suddenly interrupted by Joseph’s crew member. Joseph left his mystery lover waiting.
A couple of pictures where Mark had joined them, then a picture of Joshua alone.
But that wasn’t the end of the story! It seems that Joseph has to share this one…
And then there was a series if pictures where another guy was groping and kissing his Joshua.
Tyler wanted to fling Jenna’s phone somewhere far away. Instead, he handed it back to, fingers shaking.
”I want them gone. Every single picture,” Tyler spat.
”I’m afraid that’s impossible,” Jenna sighed sadly.
Tyler was livid. Who was that guy? Why had Joshua kissed him?
”That’s illegal!” Tyler argued. ”The guy who took them was trespassing.”
”I’ll see what I can do,” Jenna promised, before going on her way.
”I need to speak with you, Tyler,” Michael approached him.
Tyler was fuming. He wasn’t in a mood for chatting up with anyone. He just wanted to go upstairs and sulk, for a day or two.
”It’s about Joshua,” Michael added.
”What about Joshua?” Tyler said venomously. He wanted to forget all about Joshua. If Joshua wanted to suck some other guy’s dick, it was fine.
”He came to me last night. He wanted a ride home,” Michael told. ”He seemed frantic. Scared, even. Tyler, I think something happened to him. Something was off.”
”I don’t care.”
”Tyler, please. Let me drive you to him. He was crying.”
Something was off to Tyler, as well. He shouldn’t jump into conclusions.
He should confront Joshua. That was what he was going to do.
--
Josh had shut his door. Every once in a while, his mom, or dad, or Jordan would knock on the door and demand to be let in, but Josh ignored them.
”I’m sick,” he had said to his mother in the morning, voice made raspy by tears.
Now, he was sitting on his bed, under the blankets, staring at the Tyler Joseph poster he had put on his closet door. Tyler’s warm brown eyes stared right back. Josh’s heart pounded, and a lump formed again in his throat.
Tyler would want nothing to do with him anymore. Josh had thought that maybe, maybe, he could had made up an excuse for why he left the party, but then he’d seen the pictures on Twitter in the morning.
He had almost thrown up again, when he’d seen evidence of the guy putting his hands on Josh, kissing him against his will. Josh’s skin crawled. He wanted a shower, but he didn’t think he could face his family in that moment.
He had made the mistake of reading the comments.
Fucking whore that’s disgusting Tyler deserves better
Another one Tyler? Really? This one’s a cheating whore
Slut! Omg he’s so ugly…
I mean look at that ass… How many guys he has let grope it?
Date sluts, Tyler, if you want to, but at least date faithful ones. Jesus Christ…
Dump his ugly ass.
Lmao Tyler you should test for STDs after that one.
That’s honestly repulsive that guy has no shame.
Well damn. Would he let me fuck him too? I’d like a piece of that…
The comments had left Josh in tears. They had no right to say those things about him. They didn’t know him. That guy had sexually assaulted him. Josh didn’t want to think about what might have happened if Josh wouldn’t have gotten away.
It didn’t matter that they didn’t know his name. He was still a cheating whore in everyone’s eyes. Dared he go outside ever again? Would people recognize him? Would cameras follow him, mocking him?
Josh let out a sob. Tyler had to hate him now. That crushed Josh’s heart.
He wiped the snot on the back of his hand. He felt gross, humiliated and violated. He wished he could just disappear underneath the covers and forget about the world, let the world forget about him in turn.
Jordan had other ideas, and this time he didn’t just politely knock on the door and beg for Josh to open.
No, he barged right in without any warning.
”Jordan! Get out!” Josh shouted hoarsely, quickly trying to get rid of the tear tracks on his face.
Jordan ignored him. ”Josh, he came looking for you!” he announced.
For a terrifying moment Josh thought Jordan meant the guy. ”W- Who?” he stuttered.
”Tyler!”
--
Tyler and Michael stood shoulder to shoulder on the porch of 21 Forest Lane. It was a beautiful house, one of those Tyler wouldn’t mind living in.
”Does he still live with parents?” Tyler whispered to Michael, who had just rung the doorbell. Michael answered with a shrug, and then they heard footsteps approaching inside.
A teenage girl came to open the door. She was maybe about 15 and had red hair. She glared at Michael, clearly uneasy because she didn’t recognize him, and then her gaze turned to Tyler and her eyes grew wide as saucers.
”Hello!” greeted Tyler pleasantly, ”Is Joshua home, perhaps?”
The girl didn’t answer. Instead, she turned around, and shrieked, ”Mom!”
Then, she hurried away.
A few seconds after, a woman around Tyler’s own mother’s age appeared at the doorway.
”Hello…” she said slowly, expression confused.
”Hello, Mrs. Dun, I presume?” Tyler said.
”Yes?”
”Is your son Joshua home?”
”Joshua is ill,” said Mrs. Dun. Tyler face fell. Maybe that was the reason Joshua had left so abruptly. Maybe he had simply gotten sick.
Sick of Tyler…
”Are you sure?” Michael questioned. Tyler and Mrs. Dun turned to look at him, puzzled. Michael blushed. ”I mean, is it possible…”
He didn’t get to finish, since he was interrupted by a boy rushing to Mrs. Dun’s side.
”Mom!” he whispered sharply. ”Let them in, for gosh’s sake.”
That’s Joshua’s brother, Tyler realized. Jayden?
Mrs. Dun inspected her son. ”Fine. Go inform your brother he has visitors.” She turned towards Tyler and Michael. ”Coffee?”
”No thanks,” Tyler said, as Michael replied, ”Yes, please.”
Michael followed Mrs. Dun into the kitchen, but Tyler stayed in the hall, stood by the staircase, impatiently waiting.
”You can go to him,” said Joshua’s brother as he skipped down the stairs. ”Second door to the right.”
”Thank you,” Tyler whispered, patting the boy’s shoulder as he passed him.
He knocked on Joshua’s door couple of times, but he didn’t come to open the door. Tyler decided to enter the room either way. He slowly slid the door open.
Joshua was sitting on the floor, leaning on his bed, staring at nothing. He looked small, and defeated, and Tyler didn’t like it one bit. He didn’t like the dried tear tracks on Joshua’s beautiful face, nor his slumped shoulders and limp, uncombed hair.
”Joshua?” Tyler said experimentally. Joshua’s gaze flickered to Tyler, but immediately moved away. He didn’t say anything.
Tyler glanced around Joshua’s room. It was a small, but cozy, one. Seeing a poster of himself taped on the closet door made the corners of Tyler’s mouth tug up.
”Mind if I join you here?” Tyler asked, kneeling in front of Joshua. Joshua eyed him warily, then tilted his chin a bit downwards, nodding wanly.
”Is everything alright? Your mother told us you were sick?” Tyler asked gently.
”’m not sick,” Joshua insisted, still not meeting Tyler’s eyes. He had wrapped his arms protectively around his knees, and Tyler wanted to wrap his arms around him.
”But you’re not alright?” Tyler inquired, reaching over to caress Joshua’s arm.
Joshua sniffled. ”Why are you here?”
”Because I care about you, Joshua.”
”It’s Josh. You can call me Josh.”
”Josh,” Tyler repeated softly. ”I like it. I like Joshua, too. I like you.”
”Why?” Josh asked, sounding almost pleading. He finally looked at Tyler, and tears were gathering in his lovely brown eyes.
”I feel drawn towards you,” Tyler said, cupping Josh’s face in his palms. ”You are such a lovely person. Now, can you tell me what happened? Michael said you were really upset.”
Josh’s lips quivered. A few tears escape to his pale cheeks, and he drew in a ragged breath, slumping slightly forward. Tyler caught him gently by the shoulders. ”I’m sorry,” Josh croaked.
”Nothing to be sorry for,” Tyler assured sharply.
”You- Did you see the pictures? They’re all over the web,” Josh said.
”I did. They don’t matter. What you say, in turn, does.”
”It’s- It’s not what the tabloids make it out to be,” Josh sobbed, ”You have to believe me!”
”I do,” Tyler soothed, caressing Josh’s soft hair. “I do.”
Who’s the other guy? Tyler wanted to ask. He hadn’t recognized him. But pressing Josh would be a bad idea, when he was so vulnerable.
”I didn’t want it,” Josh finally said after a long silence. ”He came onto me, and I resisted, but he kissed and touched me anyway. Would have done more, but there was someone in the bushes…”
Suddenly, Tyler felt white hot rage all over his body. The feeling started from his heart, and soon reached even the tips of his toes. He had never felt anger like that. It made him clutch Josh even harder, made him vow to find this guy and rip his head off.
Tyler resisted the urge to snarl. Josh’s comfort was more important, so Tyler remained calm on the outside, and caressed Josh’s shaking shoulders.
Pressing his lips to the shell of Josh’s ear, Tyler whispered with all he had, ”I’m so sorry.”
”What?” said Josh with a wavering voice. ”Why are you sorry?”
Tyler took Josh’s face in his hands and looked at him strictly in the eyes. ”If I hadn’t invited you to the damn party, that guy…” Tyler couldn’t finish the sentence. His voice drippled with venom. ”I’m sorry,” he repeated.
”You don’t have to apologize,” Josh promised.
Tyler took none of it. ”And I’m sorry for the pictures,” he continued.
”It’s not your fault,” Josh whispered against Tyler’s shoulder. ”It’s not your fault, but those pictures disgust me.”
”Those pictures disgust me too, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”
”They- People don’t know what really happened. They look at those pictures, and-” Josh swallowed. ”Decide I’m a slut.”
”Josh!” Tyler almost snapped. ”Listen, do not go and read those comments. They don’t know what happened.” Tyler drew in a breath. ”Do you want me to give a statement? Tell that you consented to none of that?” He squeezed Josh’s shoulders, pulling him even closer. He was so mad.
”No!” Josh refused, eyes wild. ”I don’t want any more attention to me.” He took a deep breath, shaky and nervous. ”Do they know who I am?” Josh sounded so scared, and it broke Tyler’s heart.
”They have no clue, I promise. And hopefully, they never will,” Tyler tried to convince Josh, kissing his temple lightly.
”It’s so horrible,” Josh pointed out.
Everything was horrible, but Tyler still needed a clarification. ”What is?”
”When people see a picture and decide what’s happened, what kind of person you are. It happens to you, all the time, doesn’t it?”
”I’m used to it. But you’re not. And I’m so sorry.”
”Don’t,” Josh whispered once again.
Sighing, Tyler detached himself from Josh. ”Listen, babe, everything will be fine. I don’t let them get to you. And Jenna is looking into what she can do about the pictures.” Tyler smiled reassuringly, and a weak smile fought its way also on Josh’s face.
”Joshua are you sure you’re alright?” Tyler asked, touching Josh’s chin, caressing the light stubble with his thumb. ”Do you want to go to the police?”
”Police?” Josh frowned.
”That guy harassed you. If you want to report it…”
”No,” Josh said, eyes wide and terrified. ”I don’t want to think about it.”
”Who was he?”
”I don’t know. He just came onto me. And he didn’t stop.”
Tyler swallowed around the lump in his throat. He wanted the police involved, he wanted to make that guy pay for touching Josh. If Tyler ever found him, it would be hard to stop him from breaking the guy’s nose. He was a creep. Tyler reminded himself to ask Mark or Jenna to find out who that fuckhead was. It could be a wild goose-chase, but Tyler would like to put a name to that face. And then, his fist.
And then, he’d print a poster of his face and put it everywhere, letting everyone know just what kind of man he was. Would they believe you, though, Tyler? Would they believe Josh?
It was perhaps the time to start monitoring more carefully who he let in his parties.
”Have you been in your room all day?” Tyler asked Josh, who nodded. A frown appeared on Tyler’s face. ”Did you have some breakfast, at least?”
Josh shook his head meekly.
”Come on, baby, you need to eat!” Tyler sighed. ”Let’s go downstairs. I bet your mother is feeding Michael pastries and coffee. I’m sure she has something for you as well.”
Tyler stood up, and then offered his hand to Josh, who, after a moment of hesitation, grabbed it and let Tyler pull him up to his feet.
They went downstairs, holding hands, Tyler’s thumb caressing over Josh’s knuckles in a soothing manner, as he guided him through the house as if this wasn’t the first time Tyler had been there.
Michael was sitting at the kitchen table, crowded by Josh’s mother, brother and sister.
”Do you have a gun?” Josh’s sister was just asking Michael as they were entering the kitchen. None of them noticed Tyler and Josh, since they were so enchanted by Michael.
”Abigail!” Josh’s mother exclaimed.
”What?” Abigail said, shrugging. ”I’m just asking.”
”I don’t have a gun,” Michael said, eyes glinting towards Tyler whom he had just spotted.
Abigail huffed. ”What kind of a bodyguard doesn’t have a gun?”
This made Michael chuckle. Josh’s brother rolled his eyes. ”This isn’t a Hollywood movie, Abbie.”
”Shut up,” Abigail muttered and kicked her brother’s shin.
Finally, Josh’s mother noticed Tyler and Josh standing side by side at the kitchen doorway.
”Darlings!” she greeted. ”Are you feeling better, Josh?”
”I’m good,” said Josh quietly. ”Hungry.”
”You look so pale,” Mrs. Dun tutted. She stood up and took her son’s face in her hands. ”Is everything alright?”
Josh hummed, as his mother ran her fingers through his hair.
”Let me warm up some leftovers for you,” she said, and turned towards the fridge.
When Josh had eaten, Tyler pulled him aside.
”I’m sorry, but I need to leave,” Tyler sighed. ”Stuff to do, you know?”
Josh offered a weak smile. ”I get it, superstar,” he said with a little bit more light in his voice.
Tyler reached to touch Josh’s cheek. ”Are you sure you’ll be alright? I mean, I’m leaving you in good hands. Your family is so nice.”
”I’ll be fine. Just trying not to think about it.” Josh grimaced.
An idea came to Tyler’s mind. ”Give me your phone,” he ordered. Josh looked a little confused, but handed Tyler his device nonetheless, after punching in his passcode.
A blush worked its way on Josh’s cheeks as Tyler’s eyes landed on the screen, and he saw his own face staring back. Tyler smirked at Josh, then opened the camera and took a quick selfie, which came out a little blurry. He set it as Josh’s wallpaper, the quickly saved his number in Josh’s contacts.
It was delightful to see the pink on Josh’s face deepen as he saw the brand-new picture of smirking Tyler on his phone.
Winking at Josh, Tyler said, ”Please text or call me whenever, okay, baby?”
”Yeah, sure,” Josh replied, still looking at the picture.
”Babe,” Tyler said to get Josh’s attention. He couldn’t help calling him that.
Josh turned to look at Tyler timidly. Gently, Tyler grabbed his chin and kissed him softly. When he stopped, Josh looked at him with fluttering eyelashes.
With that kiss, Tyler left Josh, wishing he’d be in touch soon. It was all for Josh to decide.
--
Hi Josh.
I can’t believe Tyler talked me into this.
He asked me to ask you (in a cool way, whatever that means) when you thought to be in touch with him. So, this is me asking, I guess.
Text him or something. He’s becoming irritable.
If you want to email him, he reads [email protected]
Don’t ask.
Best regards,
Mark Eshleman
Creative Director
Reel Bear Media
--
Hi Mark.
I’ll think about it.
-Josh
--
Dear Josh,
I thought I’d contact you and let you know that we have acquired the rights to the pictures in which you appear. We can try to prevent them spreading further, but what’s in the internet stays in the internet, unfortunately.
Do you want us to give any statement about you or just give everyone the silent treatment?
Tyler misses you.
Best regards,
Jenna Black
Public Relations
Fueled by Ramen
--
Dear Jenna,
Thank you so much for all that you have done. Please stay as quiet as possible about me.
I miss Tyler too. I just need some time.
-Josh
--
Dearest Joshua,
I literally couldn’t wait anymore, so I grilled Jenna and Mark for your e-mail address.
This is Tyler, by the way. This is my personal e-mail address, I don’t use the business one, it’s always full of crap. Jenna reads it like once a month.
I miss you so much. I can’t stop thinking about you. Don’t worry, you can take your time. I’ll wait for you, as long as you will. But just so you – you are in my mind, constantly.
This is turning into a sappy love letter… So embarrassing…
But I can’t help it. You and I – we’re something else. I hope you feel it too.
Anyway, this is me just… letting you know that I’m interested and always will be. Jenna told me you missed me. That’s sweet. Makes my heart warm.
I found your Instagram. It’s joshuadun, right? The picture looks like you, so it must be you. I was kind of disappointed that it was private. I wanted to follow you, but don’t worry. I didn’t. I knew it would direct attention towards you, and you don’t want that. And I don’t want that. My fans have keen eyes, as you know very well.
If they find out more about you that you liked them to, or you see someone speaking horribly about you, don’t hesitate to contact Jenna. Or me.
So… I guess that’s all. I’ll be waiting.
Love,
Tyler Joseph
--
From: Unknown
Hi Tyler.
To: Unknown
Who’s this?
From: Unknown
This is Jordan.
I snatched your number from Josh’s phone.
Did you have to save your contact with so many suggestive emojis?
To: Jordan Dun
Jordan!!!!!!
From: Jordan Dun
You guys are ridiculous.
And I don’t care that you’re Tyler Joseph. You’re still ridiculous.
To: Jordan Dun
How’s Joshua?
From: Jordan Dun
Pining.
And as I said, ridiculous. But I understand him. I wouldn’t want any crap spread about me in the internet. Even though all they say about him are lies. They don’t know him. All they got are a few grainy pictures. And that guy – there’s something fishy about the whole thing. Josh wouldn’t let just anyone touch him like that.
To: Jordan Dun
Jordan, I know. What that guy did – Josh consented to none of that. He told me.
From: Jordan Dun
Shit!!!!!! Christ, I didn’t know… I want to murder that guy… So bad…
To: Jordan Dun
I’m already planning on snapping his neck. Maybe we can do it together.
From: Jordan Dun
Deal.
But the whole point of this me-texting-you ordeal was that… Josh isn’t going to do it. He’s too scared – not of you, but the attention. And maybe we should respect his choices, but the thing is that I can see he really wants to be with you. I constantly catch him watching pictures of you and sighing. I’ve even seen his thumb hovering over your contact info a couple of times.
To: Jordan Dun
And…? You want me to just barge into your house and demand to suck his dick?
From: Jordan Dun
Ew, why’d you have to put it like that?
No, but maybe visit his work place? He works at Guitar Center. Maybe you could frame it as an accidental meeting. Josh can be gullible, maybe he’ll buy it.
To: Jordan Dun
I’ll think about it.
--
Sunlight was tickling Tyler’s face as he leaned on his car outside of Guitar Centre.
He had ditched Michael for the day, telling him he’d rather drive himself and get Josh in peace.
And so, it had led him there, in front of the music shop underneath all the people’s gazes. They mostly stared at him because of the shiny black expensive car, but some of them recognized his familiar face after a double take.
Tyler had asked Jordan about Josh’s work shifts, and the little brother had provided him information. So, there Tyler was, standing and waiting. The time was already 2:59. Only one more minute, and he’d see Josh, if the schedule was correct.
In the end, it took eleven minutes, since at 3:10 Josh’s familiar figure appeared through the store’s doors, freezing when noticed Tyler. He blinked, once, twice, and then approached Tyler slowly.
”You’re late,” Tyler said teasingly.
”I had to help my coworker,” Josh stammered.
”Let’s get in the car,” Tyler said, opening the door for Josh. ”We don’t want anyone paying attention to us, right?”
Columbus knew Tyler Joseph, and if they weren’t careful, it would soon know Joshua Dun, too.
”What’s going on?” Josh asked once he had fastened his seatbelt. Tyler didn’t know if Josh wanted to come to his flat. He didn’t dare to ask yet, so he just decided to drive around for a while and talk to Josh.
”I- I’m sorry if I’m being too clingy, or desperate, or borderline stalkerish,” Tyler said.
”No, it’s okay,” Josh hummed. ”I mean, stalking is never okay, but I don’t think you’re reaching too far.”
Tyler snorted. ”That’s good to hear.”
”Yeah…” Josh muttered.
”Look, Josh,” Tyler sighed, ”I know you need time, but us dancing around each other… It’s driving me up the walls. I- Josh, I’m not playing with you. I’m genuinely interested in you. You, as a person, not just someone I can have sex with.”
Josh nodded. His cheeks were flushed. ”But- Okay, but you want the sex, too?”
”Only if you do. I’m not pressuring you into anything,” Tyler said.
”I’ve never…”
”Had sex?”
Josh nodded, blushing even more.
”Nothing to be ashamed of,” Tyler assured.
”Tyler, I’m twenty-three.”
”So? I bet there’s lot of twenty-three-year-olds who haven’t have sex.”
”Have you…”
”I have.”
Josh stared at his hands, fidgeting his fingers. ”With guys?”
”Guys and girls.”
After a moment of hesitation, only the humming of the car’s engine interrupting the silence, Josh said, ”I was a huge deal for me when you came out as bisexual. I- It gave me the courage to come out to my family. And it went well, but I wouldn’t done it if you didn’t do it first. You were – are – a huge inspiration for me. You as a person, and your songs… You have given me so much strength. Thank you.”
Josh’s sincere voice and grateful eyes made a lump form in Tyler’s throat. God knows what this boy had been through. In that moment, Tyler was thankful that something had always kept him marching on. For people like Josh.
Tyler reached over and squeezed Josh’s knee. A second later, Tyler felt Josh’s hand grabbing his, lacing their fingers together.
”Do you want to come over to my place?” Tyler found himself asking.
”Okay,” said Josh, squeezing Tyler’s fingers harder.
--
Tyler’s apartment was relatively small and messy, something Josh had not expected. Clothes were thrown haphazardly across every surface, and large suitcase was open in the middle of the living room floor.
”I kind of like it,” Tyler commented, coming to stand right behind Josh, and setting his chin on Josh’s shoulder. ”Keeps me down to earth. I’d hate living in that overly luxurious place where the party was. This place is smaller – humbler, and closer to home.”
”It’s nice,” Josh hummed.
”Sorry about the mess,” Tyler said, ”I’ve been packing, since the tour continues tomorrow.”
”What?” Josh exclaimed, turning around to face Tyler. He had completely forgotten that the European leg was starting just around the corner. ”You’re leaving?”
”Yes,” Tyler shrugged, ”That was actually one of the reasons I became so insistent on meeting you. With an ocean between us, it’s harder to meet.”
Josh felt stupid. He had known Tyler’s tour schedule by heart but had forgotten about it since other Tyler-related things had filled his mind.
”I- I didn’t realize,” Josh muttered. Suddenly, the thought being with Tyler didn’t scare him. It was replaced by fear of being away from him.
Josh took a brave step forward, and kissed Tyler. ”I guess I’ve been thinking too much. I want to be with you, but all that stuff that comes with it…” Josh couldn’t meet Tyler’s eyes. He felt Tyler’s hand coming up to caress his face.
”We’ll keep everything on a leash,” Tyler whispered, kissing Josh. ”I promise nothing bad will happen to you, not again.”
They stood there just kissing, until Josh felt bold enough to slowly slide his hands under Tyler’s shirt. Then Tyler paused, detaching their lips to look at Josh, sparkles in his eyes. Josh’s hands stopped on Tyler’s sides, and he met Tyler’s eyes shyly.
”Do you want to take things further this time?” Tyler asked. He always asked, never assumed.
”I think so,” Josh said, biting his lip. Tyler sent him a dazzling smile and pushed him slightly towards the couch.
”Not on the couch,” Josh insisted.
”Fine,” Tyler said, taking Josh’s hand and leading him to the bedroom.
After kicking the door shut with a slam, Tyler attacked Josh’s lips, and started to back them towards Tyler’s king-sized bed. The bed didn’t have covers on, so Josh was free to fall on it, and the immediate second his back hit the mattress, Tyler leaped on top of him and started sucking on his neck.
Josh opted just lying there as Tyler’s hands wandered around his body. Even though he didn’t touch Josh’s bare skin, he felt goosebumps rising in the wakes of Tyler’s fingertips.
”Can you feel that?” Tyler said after a while, when Josh’s neck was covered in hickies. Tyler pressed his crotch against Josh, and Josh could definitely feel that. ”I’m so hard,” Tyler panted.
Tyler sat up on Josh’s thighs, staring at Josh with lustful eyes. Experimentally, Josh reached over to touch Tyler’s dick through his pants, earning a whine from Tyler.
”Baby,” Tyler hissed, leaning so that he was on all fours above Josh. He pressed their lips together for a surprisingly soft kiss. ”What do you want to do?”
”I don’t know,” Josh answered truthfully.
”Let me take care of you, then,” Tyler said against Josh’s lips, then proceeded to pull Josh’s shirt off, tossing it aside.
Josh decided it was time for him to do something as well, so he grabbed the hem of Tyler’s t-shirt. Tyler got the gist and ducked his head, so it was easier for Josh to pull the shirt off. Tyler’s shirt joined Josh’s on the floor.
Now that Tyler was without a shirt, his tattoos were exposed, and Josh stared at them in awe. He loved Tyler’s tattoos, and now that they were there, Josh’s couldn’t help tracing them with his fingers. His hand glided over Tyler’s skin, and Tyler closed his eyes, enjoying Josh’s touch.
Then Tyler shifted so that their dicks pressed against each other, and Josh dropped his hand, a noise escaping from his throat.
Tyler’s hand slid lower, and lower, until it slid under Josh’s waistband and wrapped around his dick.
”Oh,” Josh said, voice breaking. His gaze met Tyler’s, and Tyler winked, gliding his thumb over the tip. ”T- Tyler!” Josh said, startled.
”Shh, just trying something out,” Tyler said. He did it a couple of times more, quickening the pace with each stroke.
”Oh, God,” Josh whimpered.
”Don’t come just yet,” Tyler insisted, stopping, and pulling his hand out of Josh’s pants. ”I’ve got more for you,” he declared, fiddling Josh’s zipper open and pulling both Josh’s jeans and underwear off.
Then, he climbed off the bed, leaving Josh dumbfounded. ”What are you doing?” he asked, as Tyler rummaged through a drawer, simultaneously skillfully pulling off his own pants.
Tyler didn’t ask, just threw condoms and lube on the bed. He kicked his underwear off, then approached the bed, stark naked.
Yum, Josh thought.
”Are you sure you want this?” Tyler asked as he once again climbed on top of Josh.
”Yeah,” Josh said, “Couldn’t be surer.”
Tyler kissed Josh firmly, then reached for the lube, coating his fingers in it.
”It’s going to feel weird at first, but it’ll pass,” Tyler said and gently eased the first digit in.
And Tyler was right, it felt… it didn’t hurt, per se, only stung, making Josh gasp sharply. Tyler shushed him gently, pressing kisses all over his face, caressing the nape of his neck with the hand that wasn’t between Josh’s legs. ”Does it hurt?” Tyler whispered. Josh managed to shake his head.
”You can… Another one,” he whispered, and Tyler did as he commanded, and it was soon after he added a third one.
”How does it feel?” Tyler asked, peppering Josh’s neck with gentle kisses. He moved his fingers inside Josh, hitting something that made electricity run through every cell of Josh’s body.
”Wow,” he sighed. Tyler smirked above him, twisting his fingers again, hitting that spot, making Josh’s legs shake.
”Can I fuck you?” Tyler whispered quickly into Josh’s ear. ”You think you’re prepped enough?”
”Yeah,” Josh managed to say, voice shaking. His hand scrambled for the condom, and when he found it, he shoved it towards Tyler’s free hand. Tyler grabbed it, then pulled his fingers slowly out of Josh, making Josh whine at the loss.
”Shh,” Tyler shushed, ”You’ll get something better, soon.”
Josh watched as Tyler managed to open the condom package with only one hand and put it on. He stopped for a moment, watching Josh underneath him, panting, chest flushed.
”You’re beautiful,” Tyler marveled, diving in for a kiss. And then, Josh felt Tyler slowly entering him, spreading Josh’s legs slightly at the same time.
”That good?” Tyler whispered, and Josh nodded even though he needed time to adjust. ”Tell me when to move,” Tyler said, kissing Josh’s chin.
”Move,” Josh muttered, finding Tyler’s lips and kissing him sloppily. Tyler found Josh’s hands and pinned them back to the bed. He moved back, slowly, then slammed back in a little faster.
”You feel amazing,” Tyler groaned as he had set the pace. Josh could only make incoherent noises, wrapping his legs clumsily around Tyler’s waist. ”Babe,” Tyler whined, ”Oh, baby, how can you feel this good?”
Hungrily, Tyler kissed his neck. He was faster, and faster, his murmurs of babe and Josh quickly turning into incoherent groans, which got louder, and louder, against Josh’s skin.
God, how could he be so loud.
”Tyler,” Josh whimpered, when Tyler grazed that special spot inside of him, making him tingle with pleasure. ”Oh my God, Tyler, please go faster,” he babbled, words just falling from his lips.
”Yeah,” Tyler breathed, starting to thrust faster, hitting Josh in the right spot every time. Josh had never felt pleasure like that. He was sure his whole body was turning into jelly.
”Babe,” Tyler groaned, ”Baby, I’m not going last… I think I’m going to come soon.” His hand trailed down Josh’s body, then wrapped shakily around Josh’s cock. ”Want you to come, too,” Tyler mumbled against Josh’s lips.
He moved his hand in time with his thrusts, sending Josh closer and closer to the edge, but Tyler got there first, suddenly stilling with a scream of Josh’s name.
Josh followed Tyler a second after, his moans muffled by Tyler’s lips.
--
This was the most comfortable Tyler had ever felt.
After sex, Tyler and Josh had showered together, then Tyler had quickly changed the sheets and they had taken a nap, limbs entwined.
And now – now they were both awake in the dark apartment, listening to the busy cars passing by. They lay facing each other, and Tyler’s fingers were tracing Josh’s beautiful face.
”So,” Tyler said, running his thumb over Josh’s right eyebrow, ”How was it?”
”How was what?” Josh asked, leaning into Tyler’s touch as Tyler cupped his cheek.
”The sex,” Tyler said a little smugly.
”Oh.” Josh’s face broke into a grin. ”It was awesome. You were awesome.”
”Well, thank you. You were awesome, too.”
They burst into laughter together. Tyler shimmied subtly closer to Josh. ”Not bad for a first time?”
”Not bad at all,” said Josh gently. ”Let’s do it again.”
”Not today,” Tyler yawned. ”I’m so tired… And I have to leave for the European tour tomorrow.”
”Right…” Josh trailed off, looking down and biting his lip.
”Baby,” Tyler said gently, leaning in to press a kiss into Josh’s dark brown locks, ”Don’t be so down.”
”You’re leaving tomorrow. I finally allow myself to have you, and then you’re leaving.”
Josh’s voice sounded so small and sad that it almost broke Tyler’s heart. He buried his face into Tyler’s chest, and Tyler’s hand moved to caress Josh’s hair.
”Babe, you could come with me,” Tyler suggested. Because Joshua was something special. He wouldn’t just take his virginity and then ditch him. This beautiful boy was a keeper.
”I don’t know…” Josh groaned. ”I have my job, and my mom would kill me.”
That made Tyler chuckle. ”If I were you, my mom would definitely murder me.”
”I’m going to miss you like crazy,” Josh complained, clutching Tyler tighter. ”I’m going to be sad, and lonely, and, well, horny.”
”Oh,” Tyler barked out a laugh. ”Horny now, mister?”
”Who’s going to fuck me when you’re gone?” Josh giggled.
”Don’t you dare!” Tyler said, half-playfully, half-terrified. ”Don’t you dare run into someone else’s arms!”
Josh only giggled more against Tyler’s chest. ”Hey, speak for yourself. What if you’re like a sailor?”
”Huh?”
”Yeah, they have a different girl in every port. What if I’m just your Columbus lover?”
Tyler leaned away to look Josh in the eye. Josh’s eyes were sparkling, so Tyler knew he wasn’t being serious. ”But you, my hometown lover, are my favorite,” Tyler declared, bumping his nose against Josh’s.
”I’d kick all your other lovers’ asses.”
”You so would kick their non-existent asses, babe,” Tyler went along, giving Josh a kiss. When they parted, there was longing in Josh’s eyes, and a lump was forming in Tyler’s throat. ”I’m going miss you, terribly,” Tyler whispered hoarsely. ”And I’m going to be sad and lonely. But most of all, horny.”
Josh smirked. ”Good luck with that,” he said, swatting away Tyler’s hand which was inching closer to his ass.
Tyler stared at his… Joshua fondly. And with the sweetest kiss they sealed an unspoken promise.
They were exclusive.
--
Josh felt kind of bad, sneaking out of Tyler’s apartment just before the sunrise, but he knew that if he stayed until Tyler woke up, it would be near impossible not to beg Tyler to take him with him.
Tyler would probably pay for everything, but Josh didn’t want to be accused of any sort of gold-digging.
He’d just have to endure and wait patiently for Tyler to return. If Tyler was still interested after the tour was over. The thought of Tyler tossing him aside made Josh’s insides twist. Tyler wasn’t that kind of guy, Josh knew it in his heart, but he was still scared of not being enough. What if Tyler met someone more interesting and lovable on tour? Josh’s skin crawled. He shouldn’t torture himself like this.
Quietly, Josh approached the back door of his home, in hopes of sneaking in without waking up anyone, without raising any suspicions. He’d tell his mom that he’d gotten home really late the previous evening. It would pass. Besides, he was twenty-three, for Christ’s sake. He was free to come and go whenever he wanted to.
Unfortunately, his mother had probably sensed him approaching, and was waiting for Josh at the kitchen table, the morning paper already spread in front of her, a coffee cup in her hand, and a judgmental expression on her face.
”Joshua,” she sighed, the same time as Josh blurted,
”Mom, I can explain!”
”What, Joshua? What is it?” she said, raising her brows.
”I- I fell asleep,” Josh explained lamely. Cuddling the famous singer I had just had sex with. But he left that part out.
”It’s 5:30AM,” his mother pointed out.
”Yeah, well,” Josh pouted, ”Mom, I’m an adult! I can do what I want to!”
”You’re setting a bad example for your brother and sister, who are still minors.”
”Mom, I never do this!” Josh said, starting to get annoyed.
His mother rubbed her temples. ”I know, Joshua. You’re a good boy, a kind boy. I’m sorry, sometimes I don’t realize you’re all grown up. Besides, I was only worried. I didn’t know where you were.”
”I texted Jordan I was with a friend. Didn’t he tell you?”
”Yeah, well, he didn’t know which friend since you didn’t answer him, or me, or your father for that matter. Since when do you have other friends than Debby, and that Chris from work?”
Josh blushed. So what he was a friendless loser? At least now he was a friendless loser who was banging Tyler Joseph.
”Were you with Debby? Is there something between you two?” his mother pressed.
Josh blushed harder. ”No, Mom, I wasn’t with Debby, and there’s nothing between us.”
”Where you at a party?”
”I was with Tyler, okay!” Josh admitted.
”Tyler?”
”Yeah, remember that guy who was here about a week ago?”
Josh’s mother frowned. ”I thought he was called Michael?”
”No, not him, the other guy.”
”Oh, that singer you like? You were with him?”
Josh blushed, then nodded.
”Okay, honey, how did you meet him?”
”It doesn’t matter. I- Yeah. I was with him.”
Laura examined her son’s flustered face. ”You’re more than just friends with this Tyler, right? There’s something… romantic between you two?”
Josh took a shaky breath and nodded timidly. He couldn’t lie to his mother. Josh felt her take his hand and squeeze it.
”Honey, I’m glad that you’re with someone you really like, but be very, very careful. I’m not doubting Tyler’s devotion to you, but if he’s famous and if this all gets public, it can get messy. And I’d hate to see you hurt.”
It already happened, Josh thought, but he didn’t say a word to his mother. He didn’t want his family to find out about the pictures. They’d be so disappointed in him.
--
Josh woke up, the first thing his eyes set on being the digital clock hitting 11:11.
Make a wish, Josh thought sleepily, but then he realized what exactly had woken him.
”Josh! Debby is here, I’m letting her in!” Ashley shouted from downstairs.
Quickly, Josh threw aside his covers and jumped from the bed, but Debby was fast and on Josh’s bedroom door before Josh could even think about changing from his pajamas.
”Hey,” Debby said, a weird expression on her face, ”Were you sleeping? It’s noon.”
”Yeah, I just woke up…” Josh muttered, glancing down at his toothpaste-stained t-shirt and worn out spaceship patterned pajama bottoms. ”Late night…”
Debby squinted at him. ”Sit down,” she commanded. ”I have to ask you something.”
Warily, Josh sat down on his bed, leaving room for Debby next to him.
”So, a funny thing happened yesterday,” Debby began, crossing her legs, sitting there back straight whereas Josh slumped next to her. ”You know, I hadn’t seen my best friend Joshua in person for a while, so I decided to surprise him at his work place. Only when I arrived there, precisely then I see Joshua getting into a car. With Tyler freaking Joseph.”
Josh wondered how Debby could look so deadpan, staring at Josh, eyes unblinking, as Josh didn’t know what to say to her.
”Tell me, Josh,” Debby continued, ”That my eyes didn’t betray me. That I saw what I saw, and it was no hallucination.”
”Yeah,” Josh managed to get out after clearing his throat, ”That really happened.”
Debby let out an odd squeal, covering half of her face with her hands, and tilting forward so that her strawberry blonde hair escaped from behind her ears to curtain her face.
”Debby?” Josh asked nervously.
”Okay,” Debby breathed, and took out her phone from her pocket. ”There’s another thing. Because- Look, Josh, I needed to investigate. And I found these.”
And then she shoved the phone at Josh’s face, the photos of Josh with Tyler and that guy on display.
Josh froze.
”Josh?” asked Debby after a couple of minutes had went by. ”Is everything okay, Josh?”
”Put that away, Debby,” Josh replied hoarsely.
”What’s going on in these?” Debby inquired, pulling the phone back.
”Me… and Tyler…” Josh mumbled.
”Yes, you and Tyler, but who’s the other guy?”
”I don’t know!” Josh lashed out anxiously. Debby narrowed her eyes.
”Josh…” she said hesitantly, ”Did that guy fucking touch you without your permission?”
Josh couldn’t stop his bottom lip from wobbling. He didn’t have to even nod, Debby had already caught on it.
”Fucking shithead!” she spat, turning to look at the phone with wide eyes. ”Don’t tell me Tyler also…”
”Tyler did nothing,” Josh said quickly, ”Tyler, I mean… It was consensual.”
”Fuck…” Debby whispered. She looked at him pleadingly. ”Please tell me you went to the police…”
Josh shook his head.
”Fuck. Josh, that looks like a sexual assault. Hell, that is a sexual assault.”
It was. Josh knew it was, but he was too scared to admit it aloud. ”I don’t want to tell anyone.”
”These pictures are all over the web,” Debby pointed out.
”Jenna’s taken care of them,” Josh said, trying to convince himself more than Debby.
”The photos will never disappear completely, Josh,” said Debby sadly.
”I know that,” Josh said, ”I guess I just have to learn to accept it.”
”No, you don’t have to accept it,” said Debby thoughtfully, ”They’re the ones who’ve done something wrong. That is what you need to internalize.”
Feeling tired, Josh sighed and slumped against Debby, who took Josh in her arms, offering him a comforting hug.
--
”You’re cranky,” said Mark, flopping down to sit next to Tyler.
”He’s been cranky all day,” pointed out Ben on the other side of Tyler.
Tyler only huffed for an answer. He kept fiddling with his phone. Damn timezones. When would Josh wake up?
It hadn’t even been a week, and Tyler already missed him so much he could barely breathe.
”He’s just horny,” Mark commented, Ben nodding along.
”Mark!” gasped Jenna from the floor. Tyler had honestly thought she was taking a nap. But apparently, she was just taking a rest.
They were all already tired after only one day of touring. Tyler hadn’t even held his first concert – due tomorrow in Helsinki – yet. And his bones were already aching. Mark’s eyes were tired. Michael was yawning. Ben’s shoulders were slumping. Jenna was the only one of them who looked moderately perky, but Tyler knew she probably wanted a proper nap.
They were currently in London, waiting for a continuation flight that was late, for three whole hours. Tyler and his crew had waited only for twenty minutes; and that alone had felt like an eternity. Two hours and forty minutes to go.
Tyler yawned. Michael glanced at him sympathetically, then looked at the clock, suppressing a groan. Tyler rubbed his temples. The exhaustion and the ruckus surrounding them had resulted in a budding headache inside Tyler’s skull. He was positive just hearing a word, even only one word, from Josh would make everything better. At least it would mask the misery Tyler felt.
The feeling that rose in Tyler when he was with Josh, kissed him, held him, talked with him, even when he only thought about him, was both thrilling and soothing – and absolutely intoxicating. Tyler didn’t drink but maybe being drunk from Josh’s love wasn’t any better.
”He has that dopey smile again, guys,” commented Mark, earning a snicker from Ben.
”Oh, shut up, you,” hissed Tyler, trying the get his face back to neutral. Josh’s face flashed behind Tyler’s eyes, making his mouth twitch.
Jenna rolled her eyes and gently punched Mark’s calf. Mark pretended it hurt, making a face at Jenna.
”I’m going to get some coffee,” said Michael, getting up, patting his pockets in search for his wallet. ”Otherwise I might not make it. Do you guys need something? I can bring you something little, my treat.”
”Yes, coffee, please,” Tyler and Mark said at the same time, then high-fived each other without even looking.
”Weird, horror movie twins…” muttered Ben, continuing, ”Michael, this is your fifth cup today?”
”And?” said Michael, challenging, but Ben didn’t comment further on it, just raised his hands in mock-surrender.
”I’ll have tea,” Jenna said, ”Actually, I need to stretch my legs. Mike, wait, I’ll come with you.”
When Michael and Jenna were gone, Tyler’s phone buzzed. Josh! But it’s probably a Twitter notification, Tyler thought. He fumbled with the phone, almost dropping it, failing to punch in the correct code two times.
It was a text, after all. Who would text him, other than Josh? All Tyler’s friends were with him. Tyler couldn’t contain his grin. Mark snorted, or maybe it was the guy behind Tyler sneezing, Tyler didn’t really care.
Josh.
Tyler tapped open the conversation. Then, he frowned.
”Trouble in paradise?” asked Ben. Tyler shushed him.
Not Josh.
Unknown number.
Swallowing, Tyler read the message.
From: Unknown
Hi. I’m sorry if I’m bothering you. I got your number from Josh’s phone. I need to ask you something.
To: Unknown
Who is this?
From: Unknown
Debby. I’m Josh’s friend.
To: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
Listen, Debby, if you want to demand something from me I’m going to be real with you: not going to happen. Also, Josh wouldn’t like his friends hassling me.
From: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
I don’t want anything from you. And I’m not trying to hassle you. Josh and I have been talking. I need make some things clear.
This is the Tyler R. Joseph, right?
To: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
No, this the Tyler R. Joseph from Australia. Tyler Richard Joseph.
From: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
Har har.
Seriously.
I have a couple of questions. As I said, just to make things sure.
To: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
Shoot, Deborah.
From: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
You’re not forcing him into anything?
To: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
No!!!!!!! Jesus, no…
From: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
Good. Just making sure, as I said. Second question: What are your exact intentions with Josh?
To: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
What do you mean?
From: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
Tyler. You have reputation. Groupie after groupie after groupie. Josh is not a groupie. He’s just a... boy. You can’t treat him like the others. He’s sensitive.
Well, maybe not. He’s actually strong as heck but this whole thing with the pictures has already upset him enough. If you end up being a total jerk to him he’ll be devastated. And I don’t want that. So – how serious are you with him?
To: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
Dead serious.
But Debby, don’t believe everything the tabloids say. I have never slept with a groupie. Sure, they throw themselves at me left and right, but I’m not interested. At the moment, I’m only interested in Josh. Period. Don’t cringe, but I want us to have a future.
From: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
Okay. Cringing a bit. But good.
That kind of answers my last question. You’re not going to cheat on him?
To: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
Absolutely not.
From: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
I just don’t want his heart broken.
To: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
I understand.
From: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
Then, Tyler Joseph, we’re solid.
To: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
Neat.
Hey, you happen to be with Josh right now?
From: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
Yeah, I’m looking at him right now. He’s sleeping.
To: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
Oh. Still. Let him sleep, then. Sweet dreams to Josh.
From: Debby (Joshua’s friend)
Oh my God.
Sap.
Five minutes later, Josh’s friend Debby blessed Tyler by sending him a picture of sleeping Josh.
I like her, Tyler decided.
His heart lurched in his chest – in a good way – when he looked at the photo. It was close he let out a squeal of utter happiness and love. Josh was curled on his side, tangled in the sheets, clutching a teddy bear. Oh, he was so going to hear about it later! Not being able to stop himself, Tyler caressed the picture with his thumb, zooming into Josh’s face – his cheek was adorably smushed against the fluffy pillow.
The more Tyler looked at the picture, the lonelier and sadder Josh looked in it. He was small, his position defensive. His cheeks were slightly flushed but otherwise his face was pale. His hair looked limp and lifeless. Tyler wanted to gain the magical ability to leap into the picture and take Josh in his arms. He wanted to be with Josh, so bad his bones ached.
Tyler became aware of something hanging in front of his face, obscuring the picture from him. Annoyed, Tyler lifted his gaze, but his face softened when he saw Jenna. He’d always have a soft spot for Jenna. Jenna was holding a cup of take away coffee, waving it at Tyler’s face. Tyler snatched the coffee and offered Jenna a thankful smile.
“What have you found on your phone?” asked Jenna, sitting next to Tyler. Michael was back, as well, having a silent conversation with Mark via facial expressions. Mark glanced at Tyler, rolling his eyes. He was so damn excellent at that. Michael mouthed a word, Josh, making Mark nod. So, he had guessed what was up with Tyler. What else. Tyler wished for a better poker face.
Jenna squealed, making Tyler start. She was looking at the photo – still displayed on Tyler’s phone screen – a fond spark in her crystalline blue eyes.
“Oh,” Tyler said, “Yeah.”
“That’s so endearing!” Jenna said, “Cute and cuddly.”
“Not you, too. We can never get Tyler back from Joshualand without you…” muttered Ben.
“Pft, don’t worry,” replied Jenna, then, turned back to Tyler, glancing at the picture of Josh and grinning. “Who sent your that?”
“Debby. Josh’s friend,” Tyler said.
“Oh my God,” Mark stated, “He’s already making friends with his friends. He’s a total goner. We’re all going to suffer.”
Tyler could do nothing but smile, maybe a little slyly.
--
Josh’s daily routine has recently been: Wake up. Go to work. Go home. Watch Tyler’s concert videos. Scroll Twitter. Agonize. Wait for Tyler to text. Facetime with Tyler, if possible. Fall into restless sleep. Repeat.
Right now, Josh was in the kitchen, finishing up dinner. Soup. He was the last one at the table, stirring the already cold broth with the spoon. It had been his day off, but Josh was still tired. He had been waiting for Tyler to text well into the wee hours, but no message came. Josh didn’t doubt Tyler. He knew Tyler was busy. But still.
Josh longed for him.
“Why are you so down, love?” asked Josh’s mother, entering the kitchen.
“Nothing’s wrong,” Josh mumbled, though the tone of his voice suggested other. He lifted the spoon on his lip and wanted to spit the food right out. The taste was good, but no one enjoyed a cold soup.
“Come on,” said Laura, taking Josh’s bowl and the spoon from his hand. “No need to torture yourself, although, I’m not happy you barely finished half of your meal. You’re not eating – so something must be eating you. I’m your mother. You can talk to me.”
Laura sat opposite to her son. Her eyes invited him to speak, but Josh didn’t utter a syllable.
Instead, he checked his phone. Debby had linked him an Instagram post – he’d check that later – otherwise, nothing.
Radio silence, for hours and hours.
Miles and miles between them. Josh in Columbus, Tyler in… Athens?
“Josh?” Laura said, “Are you there?”
Jordan marched into the room. He had been a good son and eaten two servings of soup. Jordan attacked the freezer, taking Laura’s attention off Josh.
Awkwardly, Josh stood up as Laura confronted Jordan.
“What are you doing?”
Jordan had found what he came for: the pint of mocha ice cream. Ripping off the lid, he dug in with a spoon that had appeared in his hand seemingly out of nowhere.
“Alright, Jordan, eat the rest, then,” Laura succumbed, “Unless Josh…”
Before Josh could hastily exit, the room, his mother turned towards him. She noticed he wasn’t at the table anymore and located him at the doorway.
Josh cringed. Jordan, holding a spoon in his mouth, raised his eyebrows at Josh. Laura’s face was adorned by a confused frown.
“Your brother is acting weird, Jordan,” Laura commented. Josh’s feet were frozen. He scratched his neck, aching to run away, get in his bed, and pine over Tyler Joseph.
“I would know,” Jordan hummed, “He misses his boyfriend.”
Laura’s eyes widened, her hand was drawn to her chest. Josh wondered whether she would be mad if Josh decided to succumb to the sudden urge to strangle Jordan, who was smirking at him, hands still clutching the ice cream pint.
“Boyfriend?” said Laura, baffled.
“Uh huh,” confirmed Jordan. Josh, in his mind, leaped at him. Thankfully, and maybe for his benefit, Jordan and the ice cream left the room as Abby called for him.
“Didn’t know you had a boyfriend?” Laura said. Her voice was gentle, motherly.
Josh closed his eyes. He didn’t really want to hide from his mother, hide anything from her, besides, she knew. Josh walked over to her, hugged her.
“Yeah,” Josh breathed, “Mom, you know. You know of me and Tyler.”
Something passed over Laura’s face. “Tyler,” she said, “Right,” smiling.
“Mom?”
“I- I told you to be careful, Joshua.”
“I know. I am,” Josh confirmed, confident, though his hands shook.
“Then, why are you unhappy? Just because you miss him?”
“Precisely,” said Josh, turning around, leaving, his mother calling after him. Josh pretended not to hear, half way up the stairs.
Well, this is what I wanted, Josh thought as he was in the mocking comfort of his dark room, on the floor, sitting with his back against the door. He heard the muffled voice of TV from Abby’s room, Jordan laughing. He heard his mother’s voice, talking – presumably – to his father.
Josh had a feeling, a hunch, that deep down, his mother didn’t approve of Josh’s whirlwind and sudden affair with Tyler. She liked Tyler, perhaps, but he wasn’t ideal for her Joshua.
Fiddling with his phone, Josh fell into the hands of his gloomy and anxious thoughts. His throat burned, eyes tingled with tears he refused to let fall.
In his room, he felt lonely, even though the house was lit and alive, pulsing with warmth and familial love. Jordan’s steps echoed as he left Abby’s room. Josh’s whole body stiffened when he heard his brother stop, right at his door, letting his knuckles rap against it.
“Josh?” A tone of worry had slithered its way into Jordan’s voice.
Josh gave his brother no answer. Quickly, Jordan gave up and moved along.
It felt like the darkness was closing on him. Josh had to get up, turn on the lights. He jumped into the bed. Josh leaned against the wall for change, still numb and unsure.
All is fine, Josh tried to reassure himself, Mom has no problem with you being with Tyler. Tyler is just busy, and misses you as much, and will text soon.
Realizing he had left Debby on read, Josh sent a stream of laugh-cry emojis to her as a reaction to the post she had sent. Then, Josh entered into a staring contest with the Tyler Joseph poster on his closet door. He had taken down all the other posters, deeming it weird to have them on his walls now that he was better acquainted with Tyler.
This one, though, he couldn’t get rid of. It was his favorite picture on Tyler – everything in Tyler looked so gorgeous in it: arms, hair, lips… Josh’s favorite were Tyler’s eyes, specifically the look in them which was bold and passionate, even seductive. It felt intimate, to stare at that picture alone in his room. It sent shivers up and down Josh’s spine.
And it didn’t ease the longing.
Fuck this, thought Josh, I’m a strong, independent Josh who needs no Tyler.
His happiness shouldn’t rely on Tyler. That was probably what his mother also had been thinking. Josh didn’t need to let go of Tyler – just the gnawing anguish, the constant crave.
It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was insuperable. Josh knew he had to learn to deal with it. He knew Tyler wasn’t always going to be there, that there was so much more to his life than Josh. Likewise, Josh’s life wasn’t all Tyler.
Besides, what was stopping Josh from reaching out himself? Maybe Tyler was pining, too, waiting and anticipating.
Though he was nervous, afraid he was bothering Tyler, Josh tried to call him, twice. Both times, no answer.
Not letting it bother him, Josh made sure his phone was on vibrate and put it in his pocket. He glanced at the poster of Tyler before he left his room, smiling at a silent promise as if it were the real deal. Then, he descended downstairs to join his family.
--
That morning, Tyler had 17 missed calls.
That was usual. Once, he’s phone number had been leaked. He woke up hundreds of calls, and his phone froze because of all the messages.
Seventeen was basic. Six unknowns. Two from Ben. Mom. Zack, et cetera. Tyler scrolled through the list, making a note to call back to his family, at least. He got to the end of the list. Josh.
Josh.
“Crap!” Tyler exclaimed. Jenna next to him turned to him, puzzled. Tyler ignored her and rushed off towards his hotel room, damning timezones and his busy schedule.
“Where are you going, Tyler?” Jenna yelled after him, “We have to have breakfast, remember? The most important meal of the day? And you have an interview later!”
“Not now! Josh!” Tyler shouted back, gesturing at his phone.
“Oh, Lord,” muttered Mark, and Tyler had no idea where he had suddenly appeared from. “There he goes again…”
Climbing on his hotel room bed, on the pristine sheets, Tyler tapped open FaceTime, and fell against the pillows. It was hard to be patient – his whole body buzzed – as he waited if Josh would answer.
Then, there he was.
“Hi,” Josh said, slightly out of breath. He was in a dark room, only his face illuminated, like the moon in the night sky.
A grin spread over Tyler’s face. He felt like he was going burst from happiness and affection, from seeing Josh. “Hi,” he mimicked.
Josh looked shy, blush tinting his cheeks. He chewed on his lip. Tyler enjoyed the sight. His heart thrummed, finally content. He could just sit and watch Josh blush for hours.
“Hi,” Josh repeated, “Wow.”
“Sorry I couldn’t answer you earlier, love,” Tyler said, sincerely sorry. He pouted at Josh, making him grin.
Josh looked fondly at Tyler. “That’s okay, Ty. I know your schedule is packed. How’s Athens?”
“Hot. Like you.”
“Stop it!” Josh giggled.
“I’m just stating the obvious truth.”
“How’s Jenna? Michael?”
“Busy. Tired. We all miss you,” Tyler said, running his fingers through his hair.
“Really?” Josh sounded skeptical.
“Are you kidding me! We all love you, even Mark, though he pretends to be annoyed. And has yet to actually properly meet you.”
Josh laughed. Tyler savored the sound. Yawning, Josh said, sounding a little timid, “I miss you terribly.”
Something squeezed Tyler’s heart. “Miss you, too,” he admitted, because it was the raw, undeniable truth. “Miss you so much it hurts. Wish you were here for me to cuddle and smooch. Smooch, smooch, smooch!” Tyler sent three kisses flying to Josh. Josh rolled his eyes, the blush again evident on the top of his cheeks.
Now noticing the shadows underneath Josh’s eyes, worry made its way onto Tyler’s face. “You alright, Joshie. Wait – what’s the time there? Did I call too late?”
“No, no,” said Josh hastily. “It’s barely midnight. We – me and my family – were just watching Iron Man.”
“Oh! Great choice. Sorry for interrupting you…”
“Nah, that’s fine,” Josh brushed it off, “I’ve seen it like a thousand times.”
There was a pause, not an awkward one. An intimate one.
“I’d rather watch you,” Josh admitted, biting his lip shyly. Tyler’s heart fluttered; it was like a bird trying escape its cage, fly to Josh. Josh’s eyes bore into Tyler’s, desperation and desire evident in them even through the graininess of the video.
“Oh, baby,” Tyler said, visibly shivering. “I can’t when you look at me like that…”
“Like what?”
“Alright,” Tyler admitted, “I’m about to nut whatever the way you look at me is.”
“Tyler.” Josh rolled his eyes, barely suppressing his brilliant beaming smile. “Nut? Really?”
Shooting an intense, penetrating look at Josh, Tyler then reveled in watching Josh trying to hide his ever-blushing face inside his shirt.
Their little moment was interrupted by commotion coming from Josh’s end. Annoyed, Josh eyes left the screen. “Seriously?” Josh said, and then someone else appeared on the screen, throwing themselves next to Josh.
“Jordan, honestly,” Josh complained, trying to push his brother away. They barely fit the screen together. Jordan smirked at Tyler who shot him an unimpressed look.
“Young man, shouldn’t you be already counting sheep?” he said to Jordan, face deadpan.
Jordan snorted loudly. Josh had given up but still wasn’t amused by his brother’s presence.
“What’s up, Joseph?” Jordan said. “How’s the tour?”
Tyler gave up, as well, and started to talk about the European leg to both of them. Occasionally, his eyes met with Josh’s, and something soft passed between them.
Something that felt like devotion.
Something that felt like a promise.
--
“Debby? I’m about to do something that you would say is stupid.”
Debby sighed, and turned to look at Josh, her brown eyes already judging.
Josh let out a nervous laugh.
“Okay,” said Debby, accepting her fate. “Shoot.”
“I want to go to Paris,” Josh said, not elaborating. Confusion deepened on Debby’s face.
“Pardon? Paris?” Debby replied, “Why? Am I missing something?”
They were out for a walk after Josh’s shift had ended, holding styrofoam cups of coffee, strolling casually and chattering, enjoying the lovely afternoon. They were just crossing a park, giggling children running around them, dog walkers weaving amongst them.
Josh stopped to look at Debby pointedly. Debby took a sip of her coffee, and them it dawned on her.
“Oh my God, Josh,” she said, like she couldn’t believe him. “It’s because of him.”
“You know me well, Deb.”
“Paris? Where is he now?” Debby asked.
“Brussels, tomorrow. Then Amsterdam. Then Paris.”
“Why Paris, though?”
“It’s the city of love.”
Debby pursed her lips. “You just can’t wait, can you?”
Meekly, Josh admitted, “I miss him like crazy.”
Debby’s face softened a little. “Josh, I’m warming up to him, but I still don’t want you get hurt. I don’t fully trust him.”
“I’m not saying Tyler wouldn’t be capable of doing idiotic shit. He is. But I trust him. Going to Paris isn’t going to get me hurt. I’m going to be so happy, with him, again. We’re going to be so happy. Besides, anyone I date could never gain your full trust. You’re so protective, Debs.”
Debby rolled her eyes but smiled when Josh leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “I don’t like this. But I’m not going to stop you, I guess.”
“I knew I could count on you,” Josh cheered, then continued, “You could come with me, if you want. Tyler would be fine with it.”
“Just because you have your vacation doesn’t mean I don’t have to work,” Debby pointed out.
“Aw, crap, you’re right,” Josh said. Then, he thought about how he’d soon be in Paris with Tyler and couldn’t keep the smile off his face.
“You’re really fond of that horndog, huh,” said Debby, noticing Josh’s grinning.
“I really love that horndog,” Josh said softly. “And for love, I need you to tell my mom where I’m going. I need to do this in secret, even though I don’t like it. But she, of all people, is the one who would succeed in preventing me from going after him.”
“Why me?” Debby groaned, “Your mom loves me but she’s still going to yell at me. Why can’t Jordan do it? He’s used to it.”
“Because,” Josh sighed, “I love Jordan and he’s my brother, but he’s going to end up exchanging the information for new Xbox games, or something.”
One more begging look towards Debby broke her. Groaning, she succumbed. “Fine! But you owe me a favor, now.”
--
Josh knew exactly how to do it. One phone call to Jenna was all it took, Jenna squealing excitedly as Josh explained his plan to her.
Ben came to the airport to fetch Josh. It was late evening, and Tyler’s concert was just about to begin. He was due to have two concerts in Paris, and this was the first one.
Josh was all nerves when they arrived at the venue, Ben and him making their way towards the backstage. Josh could hear the music, Tyler and the crowd singing. Singing Heathens, one of Tyler’s latest big hits. It was muffled, but since Josh knew the song, he could easily follow and enjoy it.
The song ended, sending fans screaming. Josh knew what followed. He knew the setlist by heart.
What he didn’t know was what Tyler was going to say next. He’d usually ask the fans to sing the yeah, yeah, yeahs to him. This time, though, Tyler apparently something else to say.
“Paris is the city of love,” said Tyler. The crowd fell silent, listening to him. “I’m sorry if that sounds like a cliché.” Tyler chuckled. Josh’s heart was about to stop. Tyler was right there. If Josh wanted – and no one would dare to stop him, he was sure – he could run to Tyler in a matter of minutes and leap in his arms. Of course, he wasn’t that dramatic. He could wait till the show was over to feel Tyler’s skin brushing against his, once again.
“Heck, life itself is a cliché,” Tyler continued, “Let’s make the best of it. But, while we’re on the topic of love, I have to tell you… It got to me when I was back there, waiting for the moment it was my time to step on the stage. Love.
“So, this next song…” Tyler tried out the chords on his ukulele. They crowd screamed. “I hope someone’s filming this! Is anyone?” More screams. Of course they were. “This next song is for my love. Sweetheart, I miss you, and soon we will be together again.”
Josh’s breath hitched in his throat. He had thought Tyler was going to play We Don’t Believe What’s on TV.
No.
Tyler was playing Can’t Help Falling in Love.
The crowd went absolutely wild. So did Josh’ heart. Something wet slid down his cheek. Jenna, who had come to stand next to Josh, took his hand and squeezed it.
He never wanted the song to end. He wanted to hear those magical notes for eternity, to listen to Tyler’s crooning voice, let it lull him. There was nothing that Josh wanted more than enter the stage with Tyler, nevermind the thousands of screaming fans – heck, Josh was one of them . He wanted to fall into Tyler and never be apart from him. He wanted to say, I miss you, too. I missed you, too. I’m here.
But the moment was over, way too soon. Tyler moved on to the next song, leaving Josh breathless, his feet turned to jelly. He clutched Jenna’s arm, afraid he was going to fall. Someone handed him a water bottle and thankful, Josh gulped down the cool water.
Finally gaining a voice, Josh said, “Oh my God, he’s too extra.”
Jenna chuckled. Her eyes were bright and happy. Happy for Josh.
Exhaling, Josh thought, Soon. Enjoy his songs. Then you can have him.
--
It had been a great show. Paris was always intense, scratch that, every concert was always intense, even the first ones with only a couple of people. Tyler always gave 101%. He wasn’t a person to half-ass things.
Sweaty and buzzing, Tyler exited the stage. Putting up a show alone was tough, but it was also worth it. Besides, Tyler never felt like he was alone. The fans were with him, they were a part of the show as much as Tyler was. Tyler never wanted to let them down, even when they intimidated him.
Standing on the stage tonight, looking down at the excited emotional faces, he felt that something was missing.
As he strolled away towards the backstage, Michael trailing after him, the clamor of his clique still echoing from the hall, he was taken a couple of years back, to a concert that had stayed in his mind. That hadn’t blurred into the others, disappearing.
He didn’t remember the city, though. What remembered was the lights, the uproar of the crowd, singing to him, singing with him. He remembered standing near the edge of the stage, glancing down. And his eyes stayed down.
It was the first time he saw him. There were many moments to follow, many meetings to pass, but the first one – it was etched in Tyler’s mind. Forever.
Everything seemed to slow down – like in a movie. It fulfilled every cliché. Lights flashing, illuminating the people, illuminating him.
Joshua, Tyler learned later. A beautiful name for a beautiful boy. That night, he was at the front row, leaning against the bar. He was flanked by two girls. Tyler had no idea if Joshua knew them or not, maybe he’d remember to ask, some time. It was irrelevant, though Tyler remembered the yellow flower crown of the left girl and the tears glistening on the right girl’s round young face.
Joshua, though. Tyler met his eyes, singing Lights they blink to me, transmitting things to me. Ones and zeroes. Ergo the symphony. Anybody listening? Ones and zeroes… Joshua’s eyes were bright, young and warm – inviting. He smiled at Tyler, and Tyler thought about it later, how that look, that smile brought courage to him. It should have been the other way around – he should be the one encouraging his fans.
But maybe they could do both.
Count to infinity…
His face. That utter adoration radiating from him. It made Tyler stop and stare, delaying the song. To this day, Tyler wondered if the crowd noticed his ensnarement. He forced himself to move on before it got too obvious, but his eyes sought out Joshua for the rest of the concert – and always found him, every time he came to see Tyler.
Tyler had only recently realized he had been a goner from that moment onwards.
The full realization had hit him just tonight. He had looked at pictures of Josh backstage. His friends had been acting weird – Jenna and Michael sharing anxious glances – but Tyler had been too far into Joshland to think about it. He had time to confront their shadiness later.
Unable to let Josh leave his mind, Tyler had made a slight change to the setlist, running up to Mark in the last possible moment. It had been worth it. He had paid a worthy tribute to his boy, trusting the fans to send out his love letter. Trusting them to pass it around until it fell into the right hands.
Tyler would have given anything to have seen Josh’s face as he sang. Imagination wasn’t enough. Unconsciously, Tyler’s gaze had been flickering down to squint at the crowd, waiting for Josh’s warm eyes to meet his.
Michael opened the heavy door for him to let him through to the backstage. Tyler’s whole body shook. His ears ringed slightly. His fingers ached – from playing and to touch, to touch Josh.
One last door. Then, Tyler could have a snack, let his legs rest for a second or two, and get going.
He stepped into the room, and everything around him, every twinge of his body, disappeared as Tyler’s gaze zeroed in on a face he loved so much.
“Joshua,” Tyler gasped.
His boy looked at him, with so much light in his eyes, sheened with tears. Tyler stared at his lips, the way they shook, uncertain – and hopeful. Josh’s shoulders were hunched, his fingers loosely intertwined with each other.
“Hi,” Josh said. Tyler vaguely registered Jenna rubbing Josh’s shoulders.
Tyler stepped forward. His hands were reaching for Josh. Tyler was so afraid that his eyes were deceiving him. That someone, maybe Michael, would nudge him, and he’d come to his senses.
He had now made his way right on front of Josh. The tips of their toes might as well have been touching. Tyler saw Josh swallowing nervously. Why? He had nothing to be nervous for.
Laying his rough palm on Josh’s flushed cheek, Tyler whispered, “Am I dreaming?”
If it was possible for the look in Josh’s eyes to turn softer, it did. The intimacy of looking into his eyes completely gripped Tyler. Suddenly and surprisingly, Tyler’s heart was calm.
Josh’s hands came up: one grasping Tyler’s wrist, one settling on top of the back of Tyler’s hand. Without any mockery, Josh whispered his answer, a simple, “No.”
The tranquility of the already fragile moment shattered when Tyler realized that they were, in fact, not alone. Jenna was standing behind Josh, looking a bit unsure. Mark was sitting on a table, going through his phone, unbothered. Tyler could sense Michael’s gaze boring into the back of his head.
When he glanced at Josh’s open and vulnerable face, lust started to thrum inside of Tyler’s veins. Pulling Josh against him, enclosing him in his arms, Tyler said, “Everyone. Out.”
They all walked out of the room – Mark not lifting his gaze from his phone, Michael patting Tyler’s shoulder. When the door clicked shut, there were finally only Tyler, Josh and the crackling electricity between them.
Josh had pressed his face against Tyler’s neck. He was breathing slowly. All Tyler could smell was the subtle vanilla scent of Josh’s hair. He tightened his arms around Josh and started to sway him back and forth.
“I missed you,” Josh said hoarsely, starting to detach himself from Tyler.
“You came,” Tyler whispered back, in awe. He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. “To Paris.”
Josh smiled. It was a shy and subtle smile, but it drove Tyler mad. He couldn’t control himself anymore. Somewhere, from the pit of Tyler’s stomach, lust took over him. He lunged forward, pressing his lips against Josh’s. Josh let out a whimper, answering the kiss with matching enthusiasm.
Tyler’s hands went everywhere. They roamed all over Josh’s body, loving him. Tyler kind of wished he was an octopus, so he’d have more limbs to touch Josh with.
When Tyler moved on to kiss and suck on Josh’s neck, Josh groaned, clutching Tyler’s waist, chanting, “Tyler, Tyler, Tyler.”
Vibrating with lust, Tyler ceased, looking at Josh with fire in his eyes. Josh’s mouth and neck were glistening with spit, as were Tyler red, raw lips.
Tyler didn’t know where to put his hands: they just needed to be on Josh.
Tyler – needed. He just needed.
With one swift motion, Tyler had grabbed Josh and lifted him up. Josh barely managed to wrap his legs around Tyler before Tyler was moving, slamming Josh against the wall, lips again hungry on Josh’s.
“Oh God… Oh God,” Josh groaned against Tyler’s lips as Tyler’s hands found his belt buckle. “Tyler?”
“Yes, my love?” Tyler said.
“I- I-“
“Do you want me to stop?” Tyler asked.
“No,” answered Josh, “My bag… There’s… In my bag…”
Tyler gently dropped Josh and ran to rummage through Josh’s luggage. The blood flowing in his veins was hot and electric. Every one of his senses was heightened to the max, ready to take in Josh.
He made his way back to Josh, who was leaning against the wall, eyes closed. His skin was flushed and sweaty. Tyler couldn’t waste a second to taste him again, and so he didn’t hesitate to press his forehead on Josh’s and kiss him slowly, sensually.
“You sure?” Tyler double checked, “There’s nothing I want more than you. I just want you to want me too.”
“Yes,” Josh gasped, lost in Tyler’s caresses. “For the love of God, fuck me.”
Desire blew up in Tyler’s veins. He was quick to tear off his pants – Josh’s, too – while sharing fiery kisses, hands roaming lower, and lower. Tyler got hold off the lube. He had never worked someone open as fast as now, fingers trembling, ears devouring every pleasure-filled gasp that left Josh’s lips.
He locked eyes with Josh as he slowly pulled out his fingers. Josh’s eyes were already glazed, and he shook his head slightly at Tyler, not happy with the loss.
“Come on, baby,” Tyler said, giving Josh a quick peck. “I need to get inside of you.” He proceeded to grab Josh’s thighs, marveling at how soft his skin felt. He lifted Josh up again, let Josh wrap his legs around him. Then, he pressed in, and almost blissed out completely.
This is what I was missing, Tyler thought, as he focused only on the sensation of Josh surrounding him. Josh was sighing, clutching Tyler’s shoulders. Tentatively, Tyler moved a little.
“Oh!” Josh moaned. Tyler took that as a green light, and continued, letting himself get lost. He kissed Josh fervently, swallowing Josh’s hiccupping whimpers.
He needed to make this quick. He couldn’t keep the strength to hold up Josh against the wall forever, so Tyler’s pace quickened, and quickened. By the way Josh sounded like, Tyler guessed he was hitting just the right spot, and that made him very pleased.
“Tyler! Tyler! Tyler!” Josh yelled, almost begged, each “Tyler” sounding more desperate. Tyler was already close, but Josh was closer, and when he came, his fingers wove into Tyler’s hair, pulling.
Groaning, Tyler adjusted their position so that it was more comfortable for him. Josh had quieted down, but he was still clutching at Tyler with full force as Tyler continued fucking him.
When he finally came, Tyler, who had been abnormally quiet, let out a scream that had to startle Josh a little bit.
“Oh, baby. I fucking adore you,” Tyler said, descending from the high. He locked yes with Josh again, who laughed, looking content. Looking happy, just like Tyler needed him to be.
He let go of Josh’s thighs, pulling out of him. Josh’s legs were shaking as they hit the floor. He leaned on Tyler, pressing tiny kisses on his neck. Tyler massaged Josh’s back with his knuckles.
“That was the best sex I’ve had, ever,” Josh confessed.
“Oh, yeah?” chuckled Tyler, “Joshua, that was literally your second time. Are you implying that the first one was bad?”
“No,” Josh laughed, “The first one was amazing, you know that. You just keep outdoing yourself.”
“Mmm,” Tyler hummed. He knew they were already late, and that the other were waiting for them. Mark’s forehead vein was probably pulsing. “Let’s clean ourselves up,” Tyler suggested, “Then I’m going to take you to the hotel and fuck you through the mattress.”
“Oh, fuck,” Josh groaned, “Poor mattress, though.”
The left the room ecstatic, holding hands.
--
Josh woke up warm and content, Tyler lying half on top of him, groaning against Josh’s chest,
“Josh, babe, you’re my everything but if you don’t take care of your damn phone the next second, I’m going to kick you out of this bed.”
Josh blinked. Right, that was his phone, buzzing on the bedside table. He reached out to grab it, squinting at the screen.
“Why is Jordan calling me?” he muttered to himself.
When he answered, it was his mother’s voice that greeted him instead of Jordan’s.
“Joshua,” she said, sounding disappointed but not stern.
“Mom!” Josh squeaked, sitting up straight on the bed. He should have seen it coming. He had left his family with barely a note, and Debby as a messenger. Jordan had known, but he’d washed his hands from the whole matter. His mom was probably thinking that Josh was afraid to answer her, so she was using Jordan’s phone instead.
Tyler seemed to fully wake up now, lifting his head from the pillows, eyebrows climbing towards his hairline. “It’s your mom?” Tyler whispered, “Tell her hi from me.”
Josh just made a face at him and tried to concentrate on his mother’s berating.
“You almost caused your poor mother a heart attack,” Laura continued, “Leaving like that? To Paris?”
“Mom, I’m 23,” Josh sighed. Sometimes, his parents’ hovering exhausted Josh. Ashley was younger than him, and she still lived with their parents, too, but Josh felt like she got away with more things than he did.
“That doesn’t mean I cannot worry about you,” Laura said, “You’re my eldest son. Of course I would worry about you if you disappeared like this, leaving only crumbs to follow.”
Now, Josh felt a little ashamed. “I’m sorry, mom,” he said meekly. He glanced at Tyler who had shuffled closer, looking like he was overflowing with curiosity.
His mother sounded more clement now. “Where are you, honey?”
“Paris,” Josh said.
“Yes, I know that. Debby let it slip.”
“I hope you weren’t too hard on her.”
“Of course not!” Laura scoffed, “I’m not going to shoot the messenger. Besides, she’s a lovely girl. And she’s was quite done with your stunt herself, Joshua.”
Josh kept silent.
“So, speaking of this stunt…” Laura continued, “Josh, has this something, anything, to do with the boyfriend you’ve been seeing? The musician?”
Josh wondered just how his parents had missed how big deal Tyler actually was. He wondered when the time would come that Jordan or Ashley would fill them in on it. He wondered if his mother would realize just how hazardous world Josh had thrown himself into.
“You mean… Tyler?” said Josh slowly.
At the mention of his name, Tyler’s eyes sparked up. He gestured at Josh. Not knowing what he meant, Josh frowned at him.
“Put her on speaker,” Tyler whispered. Josh just shook his head.
“Yes, Tyler,” continued Laura, “I do remember his name.”
“Speaker!” Tyler repeated. Josh gave in.
“Couldn’t you wait?” Laura’s voice now echoed in the room. “Why did you have to fly all the way to Paris? Tyler is going to return to Columbus sooner or later, honey. Doesn’t he live here? That’s what Abigail told me.”
Josh wasn’t quick enough to swat Tyler’s hand away, before Tyler grabbed the phone and spoke directly into it, “Ma’am, hello, this is Tyler?”
Resisting the urge to bury his face against a pillow, Josh concentrated on staring at Tyler nervously. Tyler just offered him a bashful smile.
He’s so adorable when he smiles, Josh thought. Then he snapped out of it. This is just what he wants! To distract you so he can continue on with his mischief!
“Oh. Tyler,” said Josh’s mom, clearly not knowing how to react. “How are you, love?”
“I’m fine, Mrs. Dun,” Tyler replied, “I’m sorry I’ve lured your son away from you.” Now, Tyler had a soft, affectionate look in his eyes, and Josh melted. A smile bloomed on his face.
“Oh, well…” Laura said, clearly still baffled. The Tyler-impact in its full effect.
“You needn’t worry,” Tyler reassured, “I’m going to take care of him. I swear – nothing bad will happen to him. You know what? He’s looking at me right now. Smiling. Every time he smiles like that I just want to hand him my heart on a platter.”
Josh blushed. Gosh, he hated how much he blushed when he was with Tyler. He’d never get used to him.
Laura chuckled. “I know the smile. Joshua has always had a beautiful smile. I understand how you could’ve fallen for him – and I think I trust you, Tyler. Just so you know, his sisters are coming after you if you ever happen to hurt him.”
“I’ll watch out for them,” Tyler said, “Thank you, Mrs. Dun. For understanding. I know it was rash from Joshua to come here. And believe me, I knew nothing about it. He planned this completely behind my back. But I’m glad he’s here. I need him. Though, you still have the mother’s right to be mad at him.”
“Oh, I am!” Laura exclaimed, “I’m so mad and when he comes back home I will forbid all future Paris trips. I don’t care if he’s 23. That’s how mad I am. But aren’t all parents always a little bit mad at their children?”
“Now you sound like my mother,” Tyler admitted, laughing. Josh was in awe: how naturally he conversed with her.
“I’d love to get to know that lovely woman,” Laura said, “I figure we’d find a lot to discuss.”
“I can arrange that,” Tyler promised.
“Thank you, love. Listen, I know it’s already the morning there but it’s close to midnight here, so I think I need to leave you boys to yourselves for now. Josh?”
“Yes?” Josh said.
“I love you. Please take care of yourself. I miss you already!”
“Yes, mom. Me too,” Josh muttered.
“Alright, then. Bye, honey. Bye, Tyler!”
“Bye!” said both Josh and Tyler. Then, the line fell silent.
Josh couldn’t stop blushing. Tyler grinning at him didn’t help, at all.
“Well, she was sweet,” Tyler stated, then, made grabby hands at Josh. “Come here, baby.”
Josh climbed on top of Tyler, settling on his thighs. Tyler’s eyes widened. His hands landed on Josh’s thighs, rubbing them, as he bit his lip.
“This gives me an idea,” Tyler said, smirking.
“An idea?”
“Mmm. You. Riding me.”
“Yeah?” Josh said, leaning forward to kiss Tyler. He felt Tyler’s hands roam up, to his buttocks.
And then, the door was opened.
“Christ!” Tyler yelled, tossing Josh quickly aside from his lap. Confused, Josh landed on the sheets next to Tyler. “Mark!”
“Good morning, rabbits,” Marks said, unimpressed. “It stinks like sex in here.”
Mark walked across the room to them, holding his hand out to Josh. “I think we still haven’t officially met. Mark.”
“Josh,” Josh said, shaking his head. He had briefly crossed paths with Mark before, but they hadn’t spoken to each other.
Mark looked regretful. “This hand hasn’t touched Tyler’s dick this morning?”
“Um, no,” Josh said, blushing. Tyler was rolling his eyes.
“Mark! Get out!” he groaned.
“Jenna wants to have a meeting. And she wants your lover there, too.”
“But… I have a boner,” Tyler complained.
“Firstly: Ew. Secondly: Why don’t you take care of it? Jenna will give you twenty minutes to get into presentable condition.”
Mark backed away from the room. When the door was closed, Tyler sighed and said, “Josh, I need a helping hand.”
--
It was the preceding moment of the third London concert. Tyler and Josh had spent some splendid couple of days together. They couldn’t get enough of each other. How could Josh ever have lived without the feel of Tyler’s warm skin against his? If they didn’t talk, they kissed. If they didn’t kiss, they fucked.
Fucked. Quite a lot. Mark was right to call them rabbits.
Josh was sitting on a table, watching Tyler pace. He was a jittery, nervous mess who’d have to be on stage any minute. Something had set off in Tyler earlier that day, making him unsure and disconnected. The four vacant days following the last London concert were truly needed.
Tyler had been avoiding Josh’s touch the whole day. Josh hadn’t let it hurt him: he knew Tyler would seek him out when he needed him. So, for now, Josh just looked at him, swinging his legs back and forth.
“Babe,” Tyler groaned, suddenly stopping.
“Yes?” said Josh.
“I think… I think… Okay, hear me out.” Josh jumped off of the table, made his way over to Tyler. He rubbed Tyler’s arms comfortingly. Tyler didn’t back away, but he kept on staring into nothing instead of Josh. “I’m so afraid that I’m not going to be able to put on a show that matches the two previous ones. And it’ll be so disappointing for them. And so unfair. I just… I feel like I need something to jolt my brain. To restart it. It’s too cluttered.”
“Hmm,” Josh mumbled, “Maybe I could help?”
“What can you do, baby?” Tyler’s eyes now found Josh.
Josh dropped to his knees.
“Oh,” said Tyler, immediately understanding. A glint of lust appeared in his eyes. Hastily, Tyler glanced at the clock when Josh begun to pull down his pants. “Josh, five minutes,” he pointed out, breath hitching as Josh started to nibble on his thigh.
“A superstar can be late. And five minutes is plenty of time,” Josh commented, and then he took Tyler’s cock in his mouth.
Josh had never made Tyler come that fast. Only a few seconds after, Michael knocked on the door, letting Tyler know he’d need to get going. Tyler quickly pulled his pants back on and jogged to the door.
Josh went over to the sink, spitting everything out. He drank a little water to get rid of the bitter taste on his tongue. Then, he also left, to join Jenna at the back of the crowd.
As clichéd as it sounded, Josh felt like he fit into Tyler’s crew like a missing puzzle piece. Obviously, him and Tyler shared a special connection, but Josh got along with the others extremely well. Mark was hilarious. Michael, whom Tyler had known since childhood, was already like an old friend to Josh. And Jenna had taken him completely under her wing.
Like during the previous concerts, Josh jogged to stand next to Jenna just as Tyler was in the middle of the first song. Jenna greeted him with an excited grin: they both loved to watch Tyler perform, though they were already familiar with everything.
Whenever Josh had attended Tyler’s concerts before, he’d always found himself at the very front, as close to Tyler as possible. Now that he shared Tyler’s bed and everything else, he gladly gave that spot to someone else and enjoyed Tyler’s show further back. Besides, he and Jenna always a monumentally fun time together, dancing, jumping, singing, cheering…
There was one problem: the fans had started to notice him.
Sure, they had noticed him before. The infamous pictures still sometimes popped on his feed, making Josh’s skin crawl. But now, the fans had been able to establish that Josh was a fixed part of Tyler’s entourage. And speculating over what his role was the newest fandom discourse. Josh had seen countless of blurry pictures of himself. They knew his name. They knew his Instagram, though it was still private, and Josh hadn’t accepted anyone’s request.
He tried not to think about it. He tried not let his eye catch on the nasty comments.
Slut.
Whore.
Disgusting.
Useless groupie.
He still saw them.
They still stung.
As Josh was watching the concert, he felt so proud. Tyler had had no reason to worry: it was just as spectacular show as the preceding ones. He made sure to let Tyler know that, kissing his cheek as he embraced him. Tyler’s hands were quickly grabbing Josh’s ass, but the fooling around was cut from since Mark told them to keep moving.
The next evening, there was no concert, but a party of some rapper Tyler knew. Since Tyler was Tyler Joseph, he could bring not just plus one but plus infinite. Thus, Josh, Jenna and Michael were tagging along.
The rumors are really getting fueled tonight, thought Josh as he noticed people taking pictures of them as they were arriving. Tyler had wrapped his arm nonchalantly around Josh’s waist.
“You look good tonight, babe,” whispered Tyler. His hand traveled up and down Josh’s side, over his ass, the top of his thigh, until returning to Josh’s waist. Tyler had insisted on Josh wearing his tightest pair of black jeans. Those, and a quite translucent button-up. The clothing had made Tyler be extremely handsy all evening.
The bouncer took one brief glance at Tyler, and then let them in. It was warm inside, countless of people crowding the dancefloor. Loud, bass-boosted music hit Josh’s eardrums.
Jenna had located some of her friends and already ran off to chat with them. Michael still trailed after Tyler and Josh, watching over them.
“Want a drink?” Tyler shouted at Josh over the music.
“No, thanks,” Josh replied, “Can we sit down?”
Taking Josh’s hand, Tyler led him away from the edge of the dancefloor. They found an area with several leather couches. Josh let Tyler pull him down on one of them. He kept Josh’s hand in his, playing with his fingers. Michael sat opposite to them.
Josh tried to listen to the music which was almost incomprehensible because of the loudness of it, and the ruckus the people were making. He watched as people move around, dancing, chatting, laughing, kissing… He saw Jenna jumping up and down with her friends.
“Hi!” a cheerful female voice broke Josh out of his trance. A woman of Josh’s age was standing in front of them, wearing a skimpy black dress. She had long auburn hair and smudged eyeliner. And she was staring intensely at Tyler, grinning, swaying a little because she was clearly wasted.
“Um, hello,” Tyler said, clearly bothered.
“Tylerrrrrrrrr!” the girl slurred. Then, she plopped herself down on Tyler’s lap, straddling his thighs. The impact of her landing caused Tyler’s fingers to detach from Josh’s.
Tyler glared at the girl, who proceeded to wrap her arms around Tyler’s neck. Her eyes looked absent as she started to press kisses on Tyler’s cheek. Tyler struggled to push her away, but the grip of her limbs was iron. Josh just stared.
“Don’t you remember me?” the girl giggled. Tyler was pushing her face further away by her cheek, trying to avoid her eager lips. “Don’t you remember me?” she repeated, batting her eyelashes at Tyler, caressing his neck with her thumbs.
“Yeah,” said Tyler, still struggling.
“We didn’t get to finish what we started last time,” she said. Tyler had managed to grab her wrists and was pulling her hands away, shaking his head.
“We didn’t start anything, Christine,” said Tyler sternly, “Can you get off my lap now? Please?”
“Nooooo,” Christine pouted.
“Yeah,” Tyler said, glancing at Josh who didn’t know what to think. Tyler grimaced apologetically and tried to lift Christine off. “This seat is already taken. Michael?”
Receiving a green light from Tyler, Michael finally intervened. He managed to pull Christine away, and started to escort her towards the exit. Tyler ran his fingers through is hair, looking extremely relieved.
The comical expression on Tyler’s face was worth seeing when Josh, in turn, straddled Tyler, offering him both smug and innocent smile.
“This seat is taken, you say?” Josh said teasingly, leaning forward so their faces nearly touched. Tyler’s gaze was heated, hands running up and down Josh’s sides.
“My God,” Tyler gasped, “This throne is only yours.”
“Are they always like that?” Josh ask, rubbing their noses together. Despite being at a crowded nightclub, it felt like it was only them – Josh and Tyler – not getting enough of each other.
“Hmm,” hummed Tyler, his fingers slipping underneath Josh’s shirt. “More or less.”
“That sucks,” Josh said, “They just… go for it even though you’re clearly not interested. That one just climbed right into your lap!”
“Not the first time,” Tyler admitted, “But they’re mostly harmless. I’m immune to sirens.” He leaned back, so he could take a better look at Josh. “Except for one.”
Tyler kissed Josh. With eagerness, Josh answered the kiss, forgetting they were in public. His hands came up to Tyler’s jaw, thumbs stroking the light stubble there. Tyler’s kisses were hot and needy, his hands restless – one of them was on Josh’s ass, the other pressed against his abdomen, fingers caressing slowly, raising goosebumps on Josh’s sensitive skin.
Tyler moaned against Josh’s lips, making Josh’s whole body shiver. Josh had to actually pull back, take a shaky breath.
“Well, finally,” someone next to them said over the music. Confused, Tyler and Josh turned their heads to see a tan guy with mischievous eyes next to them.
The guy crawled towards them on the couch, grabbing Tyler’s fingers, shaking them awkwardly.
“Leo,” he said.
“Tyler,” said Tyler tersely.
“I fucking know!” Leo exclaimed with grin. “I told the DJ to play one of your songs soon. I came here looking for you, actually.”
“Okay,” Tyler said monotonously, “Great.”
“But he’s a babe,” the guy suddenly said, inclining his head towards Josh. “Well done.”
Tyler’s grip on Josh tightened. Subtly, he pulled Josh even closer to him. “Yes?” Tyler said, voice iron, his fingers digging into Josh’s sides.
“I thought I’d leave with you and just you, Tyler, but if you don’t mind sharing him…” Leo stared at Josh.
The opening notes to Pet Cheetah started to play. Tyler pulled him and Josh up from the couch. “I do mind,” he stated to Leo, and led Josh to the dancefloor.
I am on an island, no one to confine…
Tyler pulled Josh flush against him. They were in the midst of people, not even dancing, just swaying against each other.
Tyler’s lips found his, ever hungry.
Josh let Tyler swallow his breath. His lips felt raw from the kissing, but he hadn’t gotten enough just yet. Tyler radiated lust. In the back of his head, Josh thought that when they’d finally go back to the hotel, they’d fuck till morning.
Or not, as Tyler whispered, “Josh, Josh, let’s just go to the bathroom for a quickie. I fucking need you.”
Thinking about the unsanitariness of night club bathrooms – all the people hooking up or sniffing cocaine in there – Josh said, “No.”
“Babe,” Tyler groaned, kissing, kissing, kissing. His hand went everywhere.
Suddenly, Josh realized just how in public they were. Not that they were really trying to hide their relationship but having Tyler nearly dry-humping him in the middle of a crammed night club started to make Josh anxious.
Gasping, he pushed Tyler. He saw a glimpse of Tyler’s eyes – hurt and worried. “I need air,” Josh said, turning around. He started to make his way through the people, cringing every time when he had to touch someone.
“Josh!” he heard Tyler shout after him.
Josh!
When he finally made it outside, relief flooded him. The chill air did wonders to him. Josh leaned against the wall, paying no attention to all the people passing him. He focused on trying to relax.
Something snapped him out of his calm state. A mocking snicker. Somehow, Josh knew it was directed at him. He opened his eyes and saw three men staring at him.
“What now, whore?” the man who had snickered sneered. The other two laughed. Josh wanted to shrink. He wanted to disappear.
“I’m not a whore,” he said, hating how timid he sounded.
“Sure,” the man chuckled, sauntering towards Josh. “You’re Tyler Joseph’s plaything, right? Do you think he actually values you?”
Josh flinched as the man entered his personal space. “You nothing but his fucking cum dumpster. He’ll get bored of you. Eventually.”
Cum dumpster.
The man was too close. “Don’t touch me,” Josh said shakily. He didn’t listen.
“Oh, come on, Josh,” the man groaned, “I know Tyler Joseph. Deep down, you know him, too. I admit, you’re a pretty face. But he can do prettier. Enjoy a good fuck while it last. That’s what all you groupies are like. You love getting fucked.”
His lips were now on the shell of Josh’s ear. “And when he’s done with you, I’ll come and find you. We all would like a few rounds with you, Josh.”
Josh was paralyzed. He wanted the guy’s hands off of him but couldn’t do anything except let the terrified tears fall from his eyes.
Then, his avenging angel came.
“HANDS OFF,” Tyler yelled, tearing the guy away from Josh. Josh saw Tyler looking absolutely feral, teeth bared. He saw Tyler swing his fist, colliding it with the guy’s face. Blood flew, some of it landing on Josh, Tyler’s knuckles soon glistening with it.
“How dare you touch him!” Tyler bellowed. Josh had never seen him as livid, eyes wild, whole body shaking.
The guy yelled something unintelligible back, leaping on Tyler. Tyler fought back viciously. Josh wanted him to stop. He was too afraid to intervene, and everything Tyler saw was the guy who had threatened Josh.
Finally, Michael appeared, tearing the guy away from Tyler. Jenna was there, too, trying to hold back Tyler who was still trying to go after him, making angry noises, looking like a completely different person with that blood streaking his face.
A small crowd had gathered around them. Josh saw a lot of phones pulled out, filming. This was not good. At all. This story would be twisted once it reached the tabloids. And Tyler’s reputation would take yet another hit.
“Tyler! Tyler!” Jenna kept repeating sternly, still holding Tyler back by his arms. She wasn’t getting through to Tyler. Michael had taken the guy somewhere else, but his friends where still eyeing the scene. Jenna was glancing at the crowd of people, probably already making plans to cover the whole mess.
Tyler still hadn’t calmed down. Josh went over to him, and gently touched his face which had already started to bruise.
“Darling,” Josh said, “Please, Tyler. Let it go.”
“Josh,” whispered Tyler, “God, Josh, I’m so sorry.”
Tyler finally stopped fighting back.
“What the fuck, Tyler?” asked Jenna. She did look quite shocked. “What got into you?”
“He shouldn’t have touched Josh,” Tyler snarled.
Shaking her head, Jenna left to shoo the crowd away. Tyler slumped against Josh, burying his face into Josh’s neck. Josh wrapped his arms around Tyler’s shoulders. They were both shaking, and Josh was crying.
“I’m so sorry,” Tyler whispered.
Josh held him tighter. He saw blood painting the ground. Blood spilled for him. They’d talk about it later.
But Josh didn’t want to.
--
Tyler was curled on the bed, staring at a sleeping Josh. He hated everything that had happened. That guy, all up in Josh’s space, leering at him, hands on Josh’s body. It still made Tyler’s heart hammer.
He was just threatening me, Josh had said. It had sounded dismissive. No one deserved to be threatened. Tyler remembered it so clearly: pushing himself through the people on the dancefloor, Josh’s name on his lips, running outside, seeing the countless people just standing there, while Josh…
Tyler could still taste the blood on his tongue. His animalistic side had leaped out. In that moment, he had just wanted to get that guy away from Josh. Wanted to make him pay for causing that utterly terrified look in Josh’s eyes.
Now, Josh was safe. Sleeping peacefully. Tyler couldn’t keep his eyes off of him. He looked stunning, and Tyler was lucky.
He hated himself for introducing Josh to his world. He didn’t deserve to lie there with Josh, to bask in his beauty. At the club, Tyler had wanted nothing more than to take Josh somewhere and fuck him senseless. Instead, after Jenna had dispersed the crowd and Michael had come back, they’d gone to the hotel and Tyler had held Josh as he drifted off.
Tyler hadn’t slept. He had resisted tears until he’d become completely numb.
His phone was buzzing. Angrily, or at least that’s what it felt like to Tyler. It had been buzzing all night and morning, and Tyler hadn’t even bothered to turn it off. It acted as a reminder to him that the outside world existed, and it wasn’t just him and Josh, next to each other on a hotel bed. He’d have to face the consequences sooner or later.
Heart aching, Tyler turned around. He didn’t deserve to even look at Josh right now. Tyler reached for his phone. Better start facing the consequences now. He closed his eyes, inhaling. The wise thing, of course, would be giving the phone to Jenna and let her deal with everything. Hell, she was probably already up and working. Guilt gnawed on Tyler. Jenna could’ve had used a couple of days off. She was definitely getting a raise after everything.
Tyler had to start from somewhere, so he opened the group chat he had with his siblings. That should be one of the easiest things to deal with. At least easier than to face his parents.
Zack
Um… Tyler?
Maddy
Holy frick… He’s got himself into a fight? Tyler what’s happening?
Jay
Wtf
Zack
Tyler?
Maddy
Tyler explain?
Answer us. Please.
I’m worried.
Jay
Same…
Maddy
Mom’s freaking out.
Zack
Ty you can tell us anything.
Sighing, Tyler bit the bullet.
Tyler
Guys.
Jay
He’s alive!
Maddy
TYLER!
Why aren’t you answering mom’s calls?
Tyler
Can you tell mom I’m fine?
Jay
But are you?
Zack
On it!
Tyler
Thanks, Z.
And yes.
No?
I don’t know.
Maddy
What kind of an answer is that?
Zack
I would like to hear an explanation for sure…
Tyler
What do you want me to explain?
Maddy
Are you kidding me?
Jay
I saw a video of you decking that other guy. Tyler, you need to start going to the gym more if you expect to win some fights.
Zack
Pardon my French, Jay, but what the hell?
Maddy
You watched that?
Jay
I was curious, okay? And my friend sent it to me.
Tyler
I don’t mind.
I just wanted to protect Josh.
Maddy
Josh?
Zack
Josh?
Jay
I think I know who Josh is…
Zack
Care to share, Jay?
Tyler
Josh is my… Josh.
Maddy
Tyler.
For the love of God…
Jay
Wait you don’t actually know?
Josh is his boyfriend.
I think.
Zack
Well I kind of knew…
Maddy
!?
Tyler are these two idiots joking?
Tyler
No.
Maddy do you have a problem?
Maddy
No! Absolutely not!
Jay
Madison be googling “Tyler Joseph boyfriend Josh”
Zack
Oh my God Jay…
Maddy
…am not.
Wait him?
The pretty guy?
That’s Josh?
Zack
Yeah.
Maddy
But what happened?
Jay, I don’t want to see the video buy what happens in it?
Jay
Well there’s this guy talking to someone (to Josh?) and it looks all sorts of iffy. Then, suddenly out of nowhere Ty appears and he grabs the guys shoulders and pulls him away and just punches him. Then they’re pushing each other and Ty’s on the ground. The guy is giving him hell of a beating until Mike and Jen come and Mike breaks off the fight. The video is kind of shaky, but I think Tyler is walking to Josh, hugging him. And then, Jen is telling the guy filming to stop. So yeah.
Tyler
That’s what happened. I see this guy I don’t know all over my boyfriend. Josh looks terrified.
Seriously.
He looked like… Okay, but I just saw red and went at the guy without thinking.
Maddy
Oh my God.
Zack
Is Josh okay?
Tyler
I think. He refused to talk about, though. Brushed it off. Just said that the guy was threatening him.
He’s sleeping now.
Maddy
You should talk with him.
Tyler
If I get him to talk. It’s not the first time something like this had happened. People think he’s a groupie just because he’s with me. There are pictures of him literally being sexually assaulted by some creep at my party. And people just… call him a slut because minutes earlier he was with me.
I don’t want him to get hurt because of me anymore. But I can’t leave him. I can’t do that to him. But I just… hate that he has to go through this because he’s with me.
Zack
That sounds really serious. Fuck.
Do you know the guy in the pictures?
Tyler
No.
That’s what kills me. There are literal pictures of him yet, after everything we’ve tried, me and Jenna have no idea who he is.
Jay
Still, whole groupie thing is really gross. I mean, sure, there’s nothing wrong with being a groupie but when people really don’t believe that you just don’t do groupies? And assume Josh is one? That’s messed up.
And thinking they just assume they can take advantage of Josh because he is a “groupie”? Makes me wonder what kind of crap the actual groupies have to go through…
Tyler
Real talk, Jay…
Maddy
I agree, everything sucks. But Tyler, promise me you’ll talk with Josh when he wakes up? Don’t let miscommunication kill your relationship. And if Josh doesn’t talk, Jenna is a miracle worker. Just bring her in, and Josh will speak.
Tyler
I promise, Maddy.
Thanks for the support, guys.
Maddy
Any time.
We’ll talk to mom and try to get her to calm down.
Zack
You should call mom yourself, though.
Tyler
Whenever I’m ready.
Thanks again. Love you.
Maddy
Love you 💖
Zack
Love you 💙
Jay
Love you 🖤
Smiling, Tyler closed the chat. God, he loved and missed his siblings so much. He could always count on them.
He didn’t get the chance to move forward, though, since there was a knock on the door. It startled Tyler a little, making him almost drop his phone.
“Tyler? Josh? You decent?” came Jenna’s voice. Tyler glanced over his shoulder at Josh, anxiously. Tyler had come to notice that Josh was a heavy sleeper. Still, a sudden noise was prone to wake up anyone. Josh merely shifted a little, continuing his slumber. Tyler exhaled. He wasn’t ready for Josh to wake up just yet.
Tyler stalked across the room, as quick as possible, afraid that Jenna would knock again and wake Josh up. Though, Tyler was simultaneously afraid that the sound of his feet patting against the floor would be enough to do the job. Maybe Josh would sense that Tyler wasn’t next to him anymore, and thus open his eyes.
“Be quiet!” Tyler hissed at Jenna at the door. Jenna, who had been about to say something, glared at him. Sighing, Tyler asked, “Yes? What?”
“Well aren’t you cheerful this morning,” muttered Jenna. Her hand shot up, grabbing Tyler’s chin gently, turning his head slightly. She clicked her tongue.
“Is it as bad as it feels like?” Tyler submitted to ask. Last night, after the whole fiasco, Jenna had fed Tyler a handful of painkillers. The ache had returned hours ago but Tyler had endured it. Speaking hurt. Breathing hurt, too, but Tyler had brought this onto himself.
“Not that bad,” Jenna assured. She was the only one Tyler trusted to speak the truth. Letting go of Tyler’s face, Jenna peeked into the room. “Sleeping like an angel?” she observed.
“As he should,” said Tyler.
“And you? Did I wake you?”
“I didn’t sleep,” Tyler confessed.
Jenna looked disappointed. “Alright then. Coffee?”
“Coffee.”
They found themselves at a Costa opposite to the hotel. Tyler was dressed like the whole cliché: dark hoodie, baseball cap and large sunglasses. Jenna strutting next to him as gorgeous as she was, people’s heads turned naturally towards them. Jenna ushered Tyler into the furthest corner of the coffeeshop. They sat opposite to each other, and Tyler eased the glasses off of his face since the press of the against the bridge of his nose had already started to hurt his beaten face.
Jenna grimaced. “Sorry, I’m just not used to it,” she explained.
Going straight into business, Tyler asked, “So. How’s the reaction?”
A professional mask fell across Jenna’s face, as she whipped out her phone. His lips were pressed thin against each other, eyes calculating. “Let me read you a collection. TMZ is all over us, by the way. I think you’re also a meme, judging by the BuzzFeed articles that caught my eye. Oh, and for the first time you’ve made it to the front page of The Sun!
“Not only are you an absolute lecher. Now, you’ve also acquired the reputation of a brute. Many people can’t understand why you behaved this way. There are several theories being thrown around – stress, drugs, psychosis…”
“Psychosis?” Tyler interrupted.
“Yeah. I’m not done. This article, for example, says: ‘Though Joseph is known for his bed hopping habits, seen with several groupies during a night, he had always managed to play the classy act. But what hides underneath the neat surface? Joseph’s recent fight suggests the famed singer might be going through something severe. Attacking an innocent man just because Joseph couldn’t wait for his turn with his new favorite groupie? That’s just low, even from him.’”
“Innocent man? Groupie?” Tyler spluttered, “What are they saying about Josh?”
“Nothing good,” Jenna confessed glumly, “Only the fans are defending him.”
“I hate everything,” Tyler crumbled. His hands curled into fists. His swollen, bruised knuckles ached.
“That seems to be the motto these days,” Jenna agreed, “I’m putting together a statement. We’re already too late. Do you want to say anything about Josh?”
“Not before talking to Josh first,” Tyler said.
“Then we don’t comment on him yet,” Jenna said, “I’ll come up with something, don’t worry. The fans are a little aghast, but they’ll come around. They know you. They know that you wouldn’t attack anyone without a very valid reason. Which was…?”
“The bastard was threatening Josh! You should’ve seen him. I just… lost it.”
Jenna looked worried as she gazed at Tyler over her phone. “What exactly happened according to Josh?” she asked.
“Well… He didn’t want to talk about it. Yet,” Tyler admitted.
“You must,” Jenna insisted, “His side is really important. Please communicate.”
Snorting, Tyler pointed out, “You sound like Madison. Do you two have some kind of an alliance…?”
Jenna just smirked, which turned into a smile as she looked at the phone once more. “Your mother is calling me,” Jenna stated, trying to hand the violently buzzing phone to Tyler.
“Nope. No,” Tyler yelped.
“Yes, Tyler,” Jenna said, sounding tired. “You cannot avoid her forever. Rip off the bandaid.”
Recognizing that Jenna was right, Tyler took the phone.
“Hi, mom. It’s your son. How disappointed are you in me?”
“Tyler,” came Kelly’s voice, “What were you thinking? Your father and I never raised you to be violent. We always encouraged you to find a different solution. Not only am I disappointed – I’m extremely worried. You could’ve gotten seriously hurt, or irrevocably hurt someone else. Think of what this does to your imago only!”
“Yeah, mom,” Tyler sighed. She had given the whole sermon Tyler had been expecting. “I know. I messed up. I take responsibility for the consequences.”
“Don’t let Jenna exhaust herself with this,” Kelly insisted, “That nice girl doesn’t deserve all the trouble you put her through.”
Tyler’s mother adored Jenna. Tyler and Jenna were both aware that Kelly would combust if they decided to date. For Kelly, Jenna would be the ideal daughter-in-law. Although Tyler loved her, and maybe years ago had harbored a little crush on her, they would always remain just friends.
“She’ll be fine,” Tyler said.
“Now,” Kelly huffed, “Zack and Madison talked to me. They told me you were fine which I’m hesitant to believe. And – they told me you did this because of a special someone.”
Tyler’s ears started to burn. He cleared his throat. He wasn’t ashamed of Josh. He was going to introduce Josh to his parents when they’d go back home. But right now – in the corner of Costa, on the phone – Tyler tongue felt too heavy, and he couldn’t form any words.
Luckily, his mother had always been outspoken.
“It’s Laura’s boy, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Tyler breathed. He had given Laura his mother’s number and apparently, they had already befriended each other.
“Joshua. He looks adorable, Tyler. Is it serious? Laura believes it is.”
Tyler could barely speak. He could barely breathe. “It is,” he said, breath hitching. “Quite serious.”
“Oh, Tyler,” Kelly exclaimed, her voice full of emotion. “You haven’t dated anyone for a long time.”
“I know. But now I have Joshua, and if you don’t like it…”
“Don’t like it?” Kelly scoffed, “Ty, I know you’re a smart boy but sometimes you can be so dense. If I didn’t approve of you and Joshua, would I befriend his mother? I already told you Joshua seems absolutely wonderful! I’m looking forward to meet him.”
Tyler’s heart was full. His parents’ approval meant a lot to him. Even at thirty, Tyler still relied a lot on them. And if his mother was fine with Tyler and Josh, so was his father.
“Thanks, mom,” Tyler whispered.
“Of course, my boy,” said Kelly softly, “Just remember, no more violence! Laura won’t let her son date a thug.”
Now, Tyler snorted. “Mom, I’m far from a thug. I promise, this was one time only. I just got so upset and wanted to protect Joshua.”
“I understand your reasons. But still, promise me?”
“I already promised, and I promise again,” Tyler chuckled.
“Good,” Kelly huffed, “Now, are you sure you’re okay?”
“Will be.”
“Are you in pain?”
“Only a little.” And I deserve it.
Sighing, Kelly said, “Alright, then. Say hi to your sweetheart, Tyler. And Jenna! And all the others!”
“I will, mom. Say hi to dad. Bye!”
“Bye, love!”
--
Tyler found Josh in their hotel room. For some reason, Josh had crawled out of bed and was now sitting on the floor, leaning on the bed frame. There was a vacant look in his eyes. Tyler pursed his lips and crossed the room, sitting in front of Josh on the floor.
You need to talk to him, said Madison in his head.
Josh’s gaze flickered to Tyler’s face. His eyes darkened when he noticed the bruises. “Hi,” Josh whispered, barely audible.
“Hi, my love,” said Tyler. He took Josh’s hand, kissing each of his knuckles gently. Keeping Josh’s hand in both of his, caressing it, he asked, “Is everything alright?”
“Everything is fine,” said Josh. His fingers brushed Tyler swollen red knuckles. Josh looked uneasy.
“Sure? You’re on the floor.”
“I thought you were a great supporter of being on the floor,” Josh shot back.
A small smile tickled Tyler’s lips. “Talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Josh insisted. He tried to smile at Tyler, leaning forward, giving him a hesitant kiss. His hands slipped under Tyler’s shirt, caressed the skin there. Soon, his thumbs found their way under Tyler’s waistband. Josh nibbled on Tyler’s lower lip. “Let’s just have sex and forget about it.”
“No,” Tyler said, and he had never used that sharp tone with Josh. Tyler grabbed Josh’s wrists, ceasing him, pulling Josh’s hands off him. “We are going to talk.”
Josh avoided Tyler’s eyes, looking like he was about to cry. He shook his head, chin wobbling.
“You won’t talk?”
Josh stayed silent. And didn’t even glance at Tyler.
“Fine, I’m calling back up,” Tyler huffed, shooting Jenna a text, come here, now.
“Tyler,” Josh finally said.
“Jenna is coming.”
“Tyler,” Josh repeated, pleading.
“Or would you prefer Mark?”
Josh just shook his head. A lone tear rolled down his cheek. Hastily, Josh wiped his eyes.
“Hi? You need anything?” said Jenna. She stood at the doorway, holding her iPad, looking a bit unsure.
“Jen. Perfect,” Tyler said, patting the floor beside him. “Come here and sit with us.”
Jenna frowned but obeyed. She sat next to Tyler, crossing her long legs. Her worried gaze landed on Josh who was looking down, playing with his fingers, shoulders hunched.
“Josh won’t talk about yesterday with me,” Tyler stated.
“Oh,” Jenna said, “Why won’t you, Josh?”
Shrugging, Josh muttered, “What there is to talk about? A guy harassed me. Tyler got mad. Punched him. There you go. Done.”
“No,” Tyler said, as Jenna said,
“Harassed you?”
“Just drop it,” Josh mumbled.
“Okay – maybe I shouldn’t have punched him,” Tyler admitted, “That’s something everyone can agree with. But don’t tell he didn’t deserve it. You admit yourself that that guy was harassing you. It looked bad, Josh. He had you backed against the wall and you looked terrified. What was he doing? What was he saying to you? Was he… Was he like the other guy, from my party?”
Jenna’s eyes looked stormy. She reached to take Josh’s hand, and Josh let her. He was blinking away tears, and Tyler’s heart was cracking in his chest.
“No… I mean yes… I don’t know,” Josh stuttered, “The guy from the party just went for it. This one… He just threatened to come find me after Tyler was done with me.”
Jenna’s knuckles had turned white. That’s how hard she was clutching Josh’s hand. Tyler closed his eyes for a brief second, trying to bury the anger that had once again lifted its head in him.
It’s because of you this keeps happening to him.
“What did the man say to you?” Tyler heard Jenna ask Josh. “Just that?”
“It doesn’t matter. Just nasty things,” Josh insisted.
“Yes, it does,” said Tyler hoarsely, “You can tell us. It’s not your fault. And his words aren’t true.”
And I need to hear them, Tyler added in his head, just to know what we’re up against.
“He thought I was a groupie,” Josh finally spoke, “Many do. I’m learning to accept it. And then he said that Tyler doesn’t care about me.”
“Lies,” Tyler said. Jenna was nodding.
“What else?” she encouraged Josh to continue.
Josh looked really uncomfortable. He rubbed his damp cheeks, and sighed, “He, um, he…”
“He what?” Jenna asked, leaning forward.
Josh replied. The word he said rang around Tyler’s brain. Jenna paled a little, her mouth turning into a thin line, disgust shining in her eyes.
Tyler cracked his knuckles, unconsciously. Josh and Jenna’s heads turned towards him. “He called you a what,” Tyler nearly growled.
“A cum dumpster,” Josh repeated, voice cracking.
“A cum d-“ Tyler couldn’t even say it. This was how people spoke about Josh? How they saw him?
Jenna was now rubbing Josh’s shoulder.
“It’s fine,” Josh said with a broken smile, “I can take it. I know I’m not… that.”
“Definitely not,” Tyler said. He was still processing everything.
“It’s just,” Josh continued, “It’s really sad that people have this disgusting image of me. I not like that. I haven’t had the chance to show them what I’m really like. They all just assume these wrong things about me. And on what basis?”
“I’m so sorry,” Tyler had to say. He had never wanted Joshua to go through this. Tyler himself had years of experience of judgements, rumors and lies.
Tyler had promised to protect Josh. To not let him get hurt. He had failed at that.
“Don’t apologize,” Josh whispered to Tyler.
“But Josh. That’s not all there is,” said Jenna after a brief pressing silence. When Josh looked at her, confused, Jenna picked up her iPad from the floor. “People can be nice,” Jenna explained, “Most of the fans are. Those who know who Tyler truly is. They’re on your side, Josh. They don’t spread all that crap.”
Jenna had now opened something on the tablet and she handed the device to Josh. Tyler crawled on the floor so that he was next to Josh and could look at the screen, too. His hand squeezed Josh’s thigh reassuringly. They were so close their temples brushed.
“I’ve been taking screenshots of the nice comments I see about Josh,” Jenna said, “This is a collage I’ve made.”
Josh Dun is so pretty. Holy fuck.
Like if you would literally die for Josh.
Josh’s smile? Breathtaking.
Anyone who spreads nasty shit about Josh can taste my knife.
That blurry picture of Tyler and Josh holding hands? I melt.
Bold of you to assume I’m not hoping that Josh Dun has a nice day today.
I saw a glimpse of Tyler and Josh and let me tell you those two are absolutely head over heels. Anyone who still claims Josh is just a groupie owes me $100.
REPEAT AFTER ME: JOSH DUN IS NOT GROUPIE!!!!!!!!
Josh Dun invented beauty, and Tyler and Josh invented love.
I ran into Tyler. Still internally screaming. Anyway, I asked how Josh was doing. Never have seen Tyler smile like that. Josh is doing great, btw.
Clique, we have a mission. Find that guy who was groping Josh (definitely without his consent body language 101!!!!!!!) at Tyler’s party. We can’t let creeps like that run around. MAKE HIM PAY FOR TOUCHING OUR BOY.
That video of Jenna and Josh dancing during ‘Trees’? THEY ARE SO ADORABLE!!!!!
Proud to be a part of the Josh Dun Defense Squad.
Josh should smile more. Just saying.
There’s like only seven HQ pics of Josh and the clique is already in love with him? Now, imagine how it is for Tyler…
Josh is absolutely gorgeous.
Lmao why do people think Josh is a groupie? Wake up. He’s not.
Josh. Retweet if you agree.
Tyler lifted his eyes from the screen. Josh was still looking, grinning, finally some happy tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. “Thank you,” he said to Jenna as he’d finished reading.
“Don’t thank me. Thank them,” Jenna corrected, getting up from the floor. “So, now everything’s good here?”
“Yeah,” Josh said, handing the tablet back to Jenna.
“Good. I have work to do. Excuse me, gentlemen.” She offered them a smile and left.
“Those words,” Tyler said, as Jenna had closed the door behind her, “They were true.”
Tyler started to press sloppy kisses up and down Josh’s cheek. Laughing, Josh turned his head so that they ended up properly kissing.
“Now, did you mention sex earlier?” Tyler whispered into the corner of Josh’s mouth. Josh smiled and nodded, and soon, Tyler had dragged him onto the bed.
Tyler made sure to take everything slow. Slowly, he kissed every inch of Josh’s skin. Slowly, he worked him open. Slowly, he fucked him, whispering praising words.
“Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous,” Tyler chanted. Josh’s collarbones were covered with purple teeth marks. His head was turned back, baring his beautiful pale neck. Soft gasps that Tyler always loved to hear erupted from Josh’s lips as Tyler kissed his neck while fucking him gently.
Slowly, they came apart.
--
Hello clique. Let’s talk.
This might be a long overdue since a big portion of you have already put two and two together.
I am seeing someone.
This is my boyfriend Joshua. We are very happy together. I know you have seen Josh tagging along with us during the tour. I know some of you have made assumptions of him. I want that to stop. He is simply Josh, my boyfriend. He is kind and caring and sweet. That’s pretty much all you need to know about him. Please don’t harass him, his family or friends on social media. I really shouldn’t need to even ask this.
I hope this clears things up. Those who had already welcomed Josh with open arms, thank you for being nice and accepting. I’m asking you to please report any slander you see towards Josh.
Hope you all have a wonderful day. See you soon.
Tyler (and Josh).
--
Everything was big and scary. Josh was alone in the hotel room, sitting naked on the bed, having just showered. Tyler was having a meeting with the crew. He had offered Josh to join him, but Josh had wanted some time alone. Besides, he couldn’t contribute anything at the meeting. He could just sit next to Tyler like he was some consort to a king.
Yesterday, Tyler had confirmed their relationship, posting a picture of Josh kissing his cheek on Instagram with an explanation of the nature of their relationship. Of course, this was done only after Josh had affirmed maybe twelve times that yes, he was okay with it and Tyler just go ahead with it it’ll be fine, I’ll be fine.
Well. That may have been a lie. Josh was a bit scared. Tyler’s fans were infamously intense.
Josh didn’t know why but he had also made his Instagram public. Already, he had climbed up to half a million followers. It was something grand and slightly terrifying.
He sighed and lay down on the bed on his stomach. He kept refreshing his Instagram profile, watching the numbers go up, up, up…
Josh had deleted his twitter weeks ago. Now, he opened another blue website. His Tumblr had been abandoned ever since Tyler took him back to his hotel room. When Josh logged in, the first thing he noticed was that both his inbox and DMs had exploded.
He had also gone from about 2,000 followers to almost 10,000.
Scrolling through his dashboard, he got the gist pretty quickly.
wowtylerjoseph
so…..can we talk about the obvious fact that josh is @spookyjim
trees---tyler
WHAT HOLY FUCK
wowtylerjoseph
yeah spookyjim is 1. literally called josh 2. haven’t updated since that whole josh and tyler thing began 3. he has old selfies on his blog and that’s the same person for sure
gonerfortylerrrr
I’M SCREAMINGGGGGG JOSH AND I USED TO TALK
cartyleradio
- tyler joseph. fucked a fan. how mad are yall?
mrjosephtyler
sdfhjkll steph shut up
demas-tylers
@spookyjim HOW DID YOU DO IT MAN
joooooooosepht
i miss josh
jennablackisqueen
me too
jjjosephtyler
me three
trench-vessel-tyler
omg he was literally the nicest person in the fandom
levitatebytylerjoseph
AS SOMEONE WHO KNEW JOSH AND USED TO TALK WITH HIM LEAVE HIM ALONE
sir-joseph
THIS. we don’t know what happened and it’s between tyler and josh anyway. just support josh bc he’s tyler’s bf now like it or not.
antityjo
yeah no. it’s super problematic for josh to throw himself at tyler and for tyler to take advantage of a fan. made me really reconsider tyler as a person.
sir-joseph
sdffgjkkll are you for real????
fairlylocaltylers
HOLY FUCK…..repeat after me: tyler isn’t taking advantage of josh!!!!!!
jennablackisqueen
nominating @spookyjim to be the official king of the clique
regional--at-tyler
at least we can now all agree on who’s tyler’s biggest fan
“Hey. What are you doing?” came Tyler’s voice next to Josh’s ear. Startling, Josh dropped phone. He turned his head and kissed the corner of Tyler’s mouth.
“Nothing,” Josh said.
“Nothing, huh,” Tyler smirked, “By the way, love your outfit for today.” His hand caressed the bare skin of Josh’s back, then came to rest on his ass. “Although, Mark has a terrible habit of barging into rooms without knocking so you should be more careful.”
“I think Mark would survive seeing my bare butt.”
Snickering, Tyler rubbed his nose against Josh’s temple. He lay right next to Josh, peppering the side of his face with kisses while throwing his leg over Josh’s lower back.
Tyler didn’t say anything. All Josh could hear was his soft breathing right next to his ear. Feeling awkward, Josh picked up his phone again, opening Instagram and pretending to be very interested in a picture of salad Abigail had just posted.
“Joshie?” said Tyler after a moment of silence.
“Mmm?”
“I think you’ve analyzed just about everything there is to your sister’s salad.”
“Is that so?” Josh closed the Instagram app, revealing the picture of Tyler he still kept as his wallpaper.
“Is there a reason why you’re lying here in your naked glory? I’m not complaining, by the way.”
“No,” Josh said, smiling as Tyler’s stubble tickled his cheek. “Just took a shower.”
“Without me?”
“Sometimes, Tyler, you think with your dick too much.”
“And you think with your brain too much. But seriously, everything cool? What were you looking at? You’re awfully quiet. You know you can talk to me about literally anything.”
Josh just sighed, playing with the phone in his hand. “It’s actually nothing. I just went to look at my Tumblr. A mistake.”
“You have a Tumblr?” Out of the corner of his eye, Josh could see Tyler frowning.
“Yeah, Ty,” said Josh, turning to look at him. Tyler’s hand made its way on the nape of Josh’s neck, fingers slipping into his hair. “I was your hardcore fan, remember? Of course I’d have a Tumblr.”
“Wait, what do you mean was my fan?” Tyler teased, smirking.
“Mmm,” Josh played along, “Then I got to know you and you turned out to be a bore.”
“A bore? Those sounds you made last night speak otherwise…”
“Oh, shut up,” Josh huffed, blushing.
“So, you have a thirst blog about me,” Tyler stated smugly. “But what did you see? Are the fans behaving?”
“They never behave,” Josh scoffed, “Nothing bad, per se. They’ve found my blog, though. And thus, they know I’m a fan. Which is embarrassing.”
“Don’t be embarrassed,” Tyler said, kissing Josh’s cheek, making a smacking sound. Making a show of it, Josh’s wiped Tyler’s slobber off his cheek. Tyler just grinned. He looked gorgeous, eyes sparkly and mischievous, so Josh leaned in to kiss him. They kissed for a while and then, Josh turned his attention back to the phone, opening the Tumblr app again to show Tyler some examples. They first post on his dashboard caught his eye.
@spookyjim is online….josh we caught you
#hi josh!!!!! #omg can’t believe he follows me
“Spookyjim?” Tyler said.
“Um, yeah. Just my username,” Josh muttered.
“Are they bothering you?” Tyler asked quietly. As if he could stop them from doing that.
“No. I mean – they’re spamming my inbox, but I don’t have to answer their messages. Most of the posts that I saw are really supportive. Your fans, um, love me?”
“Of course they do,” Tyler stated, “How could they not? You’re extremely lovable.”
Tyler attacked Josh’s face with kisses. Josh snickered, butterflies exploding inside of his stomach. Tyler still made him feel nervous at times. Touch of his lips still caused Josh’s skin to flush.
“Give me the phone,” Tyler commanded after he had shown enough love to Josh.
Josh felt suspicious but obeyed Tyler nonetheless. Tyler stared at the screen, concentrating.
“What are you up to, now?” Josh sighed, looking at his boyfriend fondly. Boyfriend.
“How does this darn app work?” Tyler asked.
“Huh?” Josh leaned closer to Tyler.
“Can people comment on what you post in this site?”
“They can reply. Tyler?”
“I want to post a selfie on your blog and answer fans’ questions,” Tyler stated, “Help me upload a picture.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah! Just a couple of questions. Let’s make them lose their minds.”
“Fine,” Josh agreed. “Take the picture first.”
Tyler snapped a selfie. He took extraordinarily good selfies. Soon, the picture of Tyler looking handsome was uploaded on Josh’s blog with the caption:
This is Tyler taking over the bf’s account. Ask me questions by replying. Maybe I’ll answer some. Maybe.
Josh left Tyler to his fun alone. He got out of the bed, finally deciding to put on some clothes, pulling a pair of boxer briefs from his suitcase. The look was completed by a loose white t-shirt. They were probably going to spend a while inside so Josh didn’t bother putting on pants.
He ran his hand through his hair. He had been considering dyeing it for a while but couldn’t decide on a color. Jenna was rooting for pink. Jordan was team blue or green. Debby thought bright red would suit him the best. With Tyler, Josh hadn’t talked about his plans yet. Tyler would probably want it to be something weird, like bright yellow.
“Your ass looks great in those,” came Tyler’s voice. Tyler was staring at Josh intensely, still holding Josh’s phone. He licked his lips, making Josh roll his eyes.
“Are you done teasing the fans yet?” Josh asked. He turned around, deciding to give Tyler a show, bending over to pick a Coke can from the minibar. He heard Tyler let out a whine behind him.
“No, but you’re teasing me,” said Tyler.
Turning around, Josh smirked at him, sipping his drink. Tyler sent a wink towards Josh and tried to concentrate on the phone again.
The rest of the afternoon was spent cuddling and watching Netflix. Josh couldn’t help loving how normal it all felt, Tyler lying between his legs, head on Josh’s chest and Josh’s arms snug around him.
The two of them in their own safe bubble.
--
Hi Tyler. How does it feel to have the best boyfriend in the world?
Hi Veronica. It’s awesome to say at least.
Is this your blog now?
Bet your ass it is Matthew.
Omggg you’re gorgeous!!!!! I just saw you in London, fantastic show!!!!!! What’s Josh’s favorite song of yours?
Thank you Sally. And you need to ask Josh that.
TYLER JOSEPH
MIA (I don’t know your last name sorry)
Tyler you need to tell Jenna I’m in love with her.
That’s a bit personal, don’t you think, Casey?
What is Josh wearing?
Nothing ;)
How did you meet Josh?
He came to see me after a show. It escalated quickly. Though, he really did play hard to get.
Josh 🖤
Agree 🖤
Did you know Josh was a fan?
In short: yes.
What your favorite (physical) thing about Josh?
His eyes, his lips, his ass. Not necessarily in that order.
What do you and Josh like to do together?
Since you are only 15, Mariah, I’m just gonna say we snuggle.
I love you.
Jennifer… We haven’t even met, have we?
Do you have a Tumblr?
Quentin… What is a Tumblr?
Tell Josh I love him!!
I need to ask you to step back, Alexandra.
Car Radio is such an important song to me. Thank you 🖤
I’m glad my music is significant to you fren. I’m honored.
You’re lucky to have Josh!
I know, Leah.
What is Josh doing?
Josh is being an awful tease.
Mark deserves a raise.
Mark would agree.
I miss you!!
But I’m right here. I’m right here, Joan.
Have you met Josh’s family?
His mother, brother and younger sister but only briefly. Looking forward to getting to know them better.
Did you think Josh was a groupie?
No and I don’t sleep with groupies.
Hi, do you already know who that guy who harassed Josh at your party is?
Sadly, no. If any of you know anything, please be in contact!! I may be hard to reach but message Jenna or Michael. Email them, DM them, any information, even hunches, are appreciated!!
How old is Josh?
He’s 23.
Have you seen Josh before you actually met him? I know he went to a lot of your shows.
Yes! He completely mesmerized me.
I miss Josh we used to be fandom friends… Hope he’s well and wish you all the best xx
Thank you Jane xx
So, are you guys called Tysh or Joshler?
Gesundheit?
--
So mad at myself… I decide to take a shower and a minute after Tyler Joseph is holding a q&a on his boyfriend’s blog…
Tyler calling the fans by their names… We stan.
This truly is just Tyler Joseph’s world.
One rumor was true: Tyler is a thirsty bitch. But we been knew.
Tyler not providing us a photo of Josh today… Never been this disappointed in him since he dropped Doubt from the setlist.
@spookyjim is now Tyler’s blog I’m living.
But can we talk about that selfie HOLY MOLY.
Tyler Joseph is the personification of chaotic bisexual energy.
Josh though. I WANTED TO SEE JOSH.
Tyler… Never change.
This is a power move only Tyler could pull.
Tyler is so whipped holy fuck.
--
Birmingham
The show was starting in a couple of hours. Tyler, Josh, Michael and Jenna were hanging out backstage, and the crew was working hard finishing up setting everything in the hall.
“I’m hungry,” Tyler complained. He was flexing his hand. It had become a new nervous tick for him. The hand had almost healed nicely but was still a little sore. The bruises on Tyler’s face, on the other hand, had only started to fade but for everyone’s relief Tyler had stopped making Cut My Lip lyric references. Ignoring Tyler’s protests, Jenna had brought makeup and was planning on touching up Tyler’s face a little, so he’d look nicer in the tour photos. And they didn’t want the fans worrying too much.
“I saw a vending machine in the hallway,” Jenna suggested, inspecting her makeup brushes. Tyler made a face at her.
“I don’t want a granola bar,” Tyler said, “I want real food. Like McDonalds. Or Taco Bell.”
“That’s real food?” Jenna challenged. She glanced at Josh, who shrugged.
Tyler, who had been pacing, stopped to look at them, noticing Jenna shaking her head in disbelief and Josh being unable to control the grin on his face. “Don’t start conspiring against me!” He pointed an accusing finger at them. “Michael?”
“Are we going to Taco Bell, then?” Michael said.
“How can you even be hungry?” Josh marveled, “You ate, like, three full plates of breakfast.”
“I’m nervous and being nervous makes me hungry,” Tyler whined, “You know that Joshie.” Throwing himself at Josh, Tyler whispered dramatically, “Hold me, Josh.”
Josh just sighed, giving the Tyler pressed against him a one-armed hug.
“I wish Mark were here,” muttered Jenna, “He could get you two under control.”
“Hey! What have I done?” said Josh, receiving just a smug smile from Jenna.
“But I could use a snack, as well,” Jenna mused, “So, if we’re going to Taco Bell…”
Michael was already grabbing his jacket. Tyler nuzzled the side of Josh’s face. “If you’re not hungry you can still come,” he said.
“My head hurts,” Josh said, “Can I just stay here and take a nap?”
Tyler’s fingers found their way into Josh’s hair, twirling the soft strands gently. “You okay?”
“Mmm,” Josh hummed, leaning into Tyler’s touch, “Maybe just dehydrated?”
“Okay,” said Tyler, “I’ll grab you some water and let Mark know you’re back here alone. Do you want us to bring you something?”
Josh shook his head. After retrieving Josh a water bottle, Tyler kissed him once on the lips and once on the cheek. He backed away from the room, following Michael and Jenna, eyes not leaving Josh until the door was closed.
“Young love,” Michael chuckled as Tyler joined him and Jenna.
They found Ben outside, talking with two men. Tyler recognized one of the – his lawyer, Eric.
“Hi,” Tyler greeted him, “What brings you to Birmingham?”
“Grandparents live here,” Eric said, “Thought might as well come see them, and check out your show.”
“Awesome,” Tyler smiled. He had been Eric’s client for several years now, though he had not truly needed his services. Yet. There was a fair chance that the guy Tyler fought with wasn’t done with him. And then, he would need Eric to save his ass. “You brought a friend?”
“Friend and a friend… This is Damien, my brother,” said Eric.
Tyler shook hands with Damien. He had not met the man before, though Eric had mentioned they were close.
“I better keep going,” Tyler told them, “We’re on our way to Taco Bell. Want to join?”
“No thanks, we just ate,” Eric said, “All three of you?”
“Yeah,” Tyler chuckled, “Josh wasn’t feeling well, so we left him alone in the dressing room.”
“Is that so?” muttered Damien.
“Yeah. But do go inside. Ben will show you around. We’ll be back soon. Bye!”
The Taco Bell wasn’t far from the venue. On their way, Tyler shot Mark a text that Josh was alone backstage and that Eric had come. Mark answered with a single thumb up emoji.
They were next in line when Tyler’s phone buzzed. Thinking it was probably Josh, Tyler dug out the phone, wondering what his boyfriend needed.
It was his sister, instead.
From: Maddy
TYLER
I CRACKED IT
Okay, frick… The guy who harassed Josh is Damien Olsen. Your lawyer’s brother.
An icy feeling flooded Tyler’s stomach. Damien. Damien.
We left him alone in the dressing room.
Is that so?
Alone. Josh was alone, and Damien was there.
“I need to go!” Tyler cried out, sprinting out of the restaurant.
“Tyler!” Jenna and Michael yelled after him. Tyler didn’t care explain. He needed to get back to the venue.
As he ran like he had never ran before, Tyler fumbled his phone.
He called Josh.
No answer. Josh kept his phone on silent most of the time.
He tried Mark.
No answer.
Ben.
No answer.
He could see the venue. He was so close. His feet were screaming at him to stop. His mind was screaming at his feet, faster.
He was almost there, and he could never forgive himself if he were too late.
Almost.
--
“Back already?” Josh mumbled as he heard the dressing room door open. Josh was occupying the ugly olive-green couch in the corner of the room, half asleep so he had no comprehension of the time’s passing. His head was rested uncomfortably against the arm rest, his legs barely fitting the couch.
He stirred as he heard the lock click. Why was Tyler locking the door? Tyler knew Josh was really not in the mood.
Josh opened his eyes.
This is a nightmare, was his first thought as he locked eyes with the guy.
“Hello, sleeping beauty,” he tutted, voice overtly sweet. “Did I wake you?”
Josh felt cold all over. He sat up, giving the guy a vicious glare. “Get out,” Josh hissed.
The guy just chuckled, sauntering closer to Josh. Sometimes, Josh woke up in cold sweat after seeing those green eyes in his dreams. But he was always next to Tyler, safe.
Not anymore.
“Now, Joshua,” the guy said, kneeling in front of him and grabbing his knees. His touch burned Josh. “Don’t be fucking rude. You don’t even know my name. It’s Damien.”
“What do you want?” Josh asked. He was starting to shake all over.
“Isn’t that obvious,” leered Damien.
No.
Josh had had enough. Disgusted, he stood up, wanting to leave, to go find Mark, or someone who’d keep Damien from touching him.
Damien was fast, though, grabbing Josh’s arms. Maybe naively, Josh had thought that Damien would just let him go. Wistful thinking.
Josh’s heart pounded with anxiety and fright as he struggled against Damien, but Damien didn’t let go. Of course, he didn’t. “Where do you think you’re going?” he whispered into Josh’s ear, warm breath hitting Josh’s face. Josh closed his eyes. He was too close, too close, too close.
“Let me go,” Josh begged, genuinely scared. This guy didn’t care what consent was. And this time, he had the chance to more from Josh, more than last time.
Josh wasn’t willing to give him anything.
“No,” said Damien, “I’m not done with you. I’m barely getting started.”
Josh fought harder. He knew what was in this guy’s mind and it made Josh sick. He fought with all he had but Damien was strong.
And Damien had had enough. He pushed Josh harshly, making him fall back first on the floor. Soon, Damien was straddling him, pinning Josh’s arms down. His grip was iron.
“You fucking bitch!” Damien growled. He grabbed Josh’s face, turning his head around, pushing it to the carpeted floor and rubbing him against it so that the carpet burned Josh’s cheek.
Josh let out a scream. He screamed the only name he could think of. “Tyler! Tyler!”
“Tyler cannot hear you,” Damien said, “But you can always pretend I’m Tyler.”
“No,” Josh choked out, trashing.
“Keep still!” Damien hissed. And then, his hands were around Josh’s throat.
Josh thought he was going to die as Damien squeezed, making Josh run out air. He could see Damien’s cold eyes, Damien baring his teeth that glistened with saliva…
It’s over, Josh desperately thought.
When he finally, miraculously let go, Josh coughed, and coughed, and gasped. He felt weaker. His body was giving up. Damien’s hands returned to Josh’s wrists.
“I should choke you unconscious,” Damien muttered, green eyes dark. “But where’s the fun in that? I want you to be aware the whole time of what’s happening to you. I want to fuck you until you forget your name. I want to leave you here, completely broken, for Joseph to find. And what I want the most – I want to see the look in your eyes when you realize that I’m not Tyler, but you still love it.”
Damien had detached one of his hands from Josh wrist, and that hand was slipping underneath the waistband of Josh’s jeans.
Josh acted on instinct.
With his now freed hand, he slapped Damien across the face with all his strength. Damien let out a surprised whine, covering his face.
Josh got his legs moving. First thing he did was kick Damien straight to his groin. Damien fell backwards, howling. Quickly, Josh scrambled up, and was running from the room, already short of breath. Tears were blurring his vision and Damien’s angry whimpers echoed in his ears.
Josh ran. He ran through the corridors, to the back doors until he was outside. Safe. And he kept on running, fearing Damien would appear behind him, grab him, pull him back.
Take him.
Josh barely registered Mark standing outside, talking to a small group of fans.
“What the heck? Josh?” he heard Mark say.
Josh didn’t care. His eyes were on a familiar figure that was also running. Running towards him.
“Josh! Josh!” Tyler screamed, like Josh was dying. Like they were both dying. Josh couldn’t answer. His throat hurt too much. He could only sob. The hiccups felt like someone was punching him from the inside.
Tyler, Josh thought.
They collided.
--
Josh’s ears were ringing. His vision was blurred by either panic or tears.
“Breathe,” a warm, safe voice said to him. Tyler’s arms were around him, Josh tried to focus on the feel of them. He registered they were on the ground; the grit was scraping Josh’s knees that were bare through his ripped jeans.
Josh squeezed his eyes shut. The sun was too much for him. Tyler was speaking to someone else now, voice much angrier. Josh could feel the vibrations of his voice. His cheek was pressed against Tyler’s throat.
“You just messaged that Josh alone in the dressing room!” Mark. “How was I supposed to know someone was going to attack him?”
“What did he do?” Tyler asked, now from Josh. His voice was desperate, a little choked. “Josh, what did he do to you?”
“Nothing,” Josh croaked.
“Did he…”
“No.” Cough. “I got away.”
Fast footsteps. Then, Jenna’s voice, “What’s going on, Tyler? You can’t just sprint away like that.”
“Is he okay?” Michael.
“What does it look like?” Tyler said venomously. His thumb was caressing Josh’s shoulder blade, and Josh tried to focus on that.
“Why don’t we all just calm down?” said Mark. Josh blinked, seeing Jenna’s blue eyes on him. She was grouched next to Tyler and Josh. Josh had never seen her looking that worried. Michael was standing near, as well, Josh recognized his shoes.
“He’s still in there,” Josh whispered to Jenna. “Damien.”
“Crap,” Mark said. Josh managed to look up, seeing Mark turn around and jog into the building. And the fans were still there, a confused group of four.
“Tyler,” Jenna whispered, touching Tyler’s arm. Tyler was shaking, barely holding Josh.
“What’s going on?” Michael asked, voice dark.
Tyler let out a snarl, not sounding like himself at all. He let go of Josh, standing up. Josh could see his hands, tightened to fists. Wanting to cry, Josh reached his arms out to Tyler, but Tyler didn’t notice. He was back to Josh. Luckily, Jenna moved closer to Josh, wrapping her arm around his shoulders.
“Tyler,” Josh whined. He didn’t know if it was because he missed Tyler’s touch or because he was scared of what Tyler might do.
Tyler ran after Mark.
“Michael, go with him!” Jenna shouted, “God knows what he’ll do.”
Michael ran, as well.
“Josh?” Jenna continued, very gently. She wiped the tears away from Josh’s face. Josh took large, gasping breaths. He saw Jenna eye his scraped cheek. She looked angry. Josh had never seen her angry.
“He tried to…” Josh hiccupped, “He tried to – Jenna. Jen.”
It was so hard to speak.
“What going on here?” a foreign voice asked, distinctly British. The police, Josh realized, someone had called the police. Probably Mark.
Someone kneeled next to Josh and Jenna. One of the fans, Josh realized. She handed Josh her water bottle. Josh took it, looking into her kind brown eyes, hoping she’d get how thankful Josh was. She nodded, smilingly kindly, but looking worried.
“I need to talk to the police. Is it okay if I leave? You’re safe now,” Jenna said to Josh, looking for his approval. And even though he was terrified of being left alone, Josh bravely nodded. Jenna was right. He would be safe.
Jenna glanced at the fan. “Could you sit with him?”
“Sure,” the fan said, without hesitation.
The rest of the fans came to Josh, as well, settling around him like they were trying to form a protective barrier.
“Yes, someone tried to rape him. We think he’s still inside the arena,” Josh heard Jenna speak. A shiver ran through his spine. Rape.
Josh coughed, blinking back tears. The fan helped to take a sip of the water. Josh felt someone touching his hair. It was reassuring.
“Is he going to be okay?” asked a small voice, a child’s voice. Josh looked up to see one of the fans, maybe a boy of nine, standing in front of him, looking at Josh with curiosity.
“Yes, he’s just hurt now,” a girl answered.
“Who hurt him?”
“I think Tyler is looking for the guy who hurt him. And the police are here.”
“Oh, okay,” the boy said. He kneeled in front of Josh, taking his hand. “My name is Josh, too.”
Josh was surprised to hear himself laugh. He squeezed the boy’s hand and tried to smile at him. Then he heard a familiar voice, shouting,
“His name is Damien Olsen and he’s nowhere to be seen! His brother isn’t here. He’s not answering Michael.”
“Calm down, sir. We’re searching for him,” a policeman replied. “Where’s the victim?”
And then, Tyler was there, gently pushing Little Josh away, so he could kneel in front of Josh and take his face into his hands. Tyler’s jaw clenched but then his expression turned extremely tender. His fingers hovered over the read mark on Josh’s cheek.
“Sweetheart, can you be brave?” Tyler whispered.
“Yes,” Josh admitted. He had survived. He would have survived either way. “Of course.”
Tyler smiled. Tears glistened in his eyes.
“Though,” Josh muttered. His voice was so foreign, hoarse and abused. “I’m not sure if I can get back on my feet right now.”
“We need to speak to you,” said a policeman who was standing behind Tyler. Tyler glanced at him, glaring.
“Tyler?” Josh asked.
“Help me haul him up,” Tyler said to one of the girls. Together, they got Josh standing up on his shaking feet.
“You’re the assault victim?” the policeman asked.
“Yes,” Josh said softly. Another thing that would define him. Another thing that he didn’t want to define him.
And he wouldn’t let it.
“The assailant wasn’t any of these men?” the policeman gestured to Tyler, Mark and Michael.
Tyler looked pissed. Michael raised his brows.
“No,” huffed Josh, offended.
“Very well,” muttered the policeman, “We need you to come to the station. To make a report of offence.”
Josh nodded. Tyler stepped forwards. “I have to come with him.”
“Of course,” said the policeman. “You’re not from here, are you?”
“No, from Ohio. Both of us,” said Tyler.
“Ohio? Americans?”
“Yeah.”
“Alright. We’ll figure it out. Follow me.”
Tyler took Josh’s hand. The touch of his calloused hand finally grounded Josh. He almost stopped shaking. As they made their way to the police car, Josh glanced back at the venue. Damien was gone. And no one knew where he was. But Josh was going to fight. Damien wasn’t getting away, this time.
We’ll figure it out.
--
Jenna couldn’t believe the day was almost over. What a hell of a day it had been. Jenna’s heart was breaking for boy next to her.
Josh.
They weren’t at the back, this time. Tyler had wanted Josh as close as possible. The concert was still on but only because Tyler’s will to not disappoint the fans was intensely fierce. Jenna knew that Tyler would’ve wanted to take Josh back to the hotel, hide him there.
So, Josh had been situated at the side of the stage, amongst the crew, so that Tyler could stole glances at him. Tyler had also invited the fans that had comforted Josh when Tyler had been hunting down Damien, and Jenna had been talking to the police.
The three girls stood as close to the stage as they were allowed, clutching each other, jumping up and down. The little boy – another Josh – was on Michael’s shoulders, not believing his eyes as he watched Tyler perform.
Josh had been surprisingly calm, considering he was first assaulted, the had to talk to the police about, and lastly go to the emergency room for doctors to prod. But at the end of the day, Josh was smiling, listening to his boyfriend sing. Only things that was a glaring reminder of the terror Josh had faced were the angry bruises littered on his skin – cheek, neck, wrists… Jenna tried to look at Josh and see the boy, not the injuries. Josh was more than that.
The crowd cheered as yet another song ended.
Tyler didn’t start singing the next one right away. He stood at the edge of the stage, looking at his screaming supporters, the lights they shone on him. Everyone started to quiet down, confused of Tyler who stood like a statue, taking everything in.
Jenna wondered what was in his mind. She knew Tyler exceptionally well but still couldn’t always predict his actions.
Tyler glanced at the side, looking at Jenna, looking at Josh.
“My friends,” Tyler finally spoke. Birmingham screamed their reply. “It’s wonderful to see you all here.”
More noise.
“Who here loves Josh?” Tyler asked.
“Oh my God,” Jenna heard Josh huffing as he held onto Jenna’s arm.
This time, the audience roared.
Tyler walked to the side. “Josh?” he asked. Josh waved, jogging forward to stand next to the three fans and Michael. “Josh, if you want, could you come up here with me?”
Someone shoved a mic into Josh’s hand. “I- Really?” Josh said. It felt weird to hear his warm-toned voice echoing through the speakers.
“Yes!” Tyler answered, making grabby hands at Josh. The crowd aaw’d. The fan next to Josh nudged him slightly.
“Well, sure,” Josh spoke and hopped up the stairs, running into Tyler’s outstretched arms.
The camera focused on Josh, and the audience gasped. Jenna grimaced. She had to admit it looked bad – especially the obviously finger-shaped purple marks on his neck.
Tyler detached his arms from around Josh, and said, “Josh had a really bad day today. He’s fine now, and whoever is responsible of hurting him will answer for his actions, don’t worry.”
Tyler kissed Josh’s uninjured cheek tenderly. He mouthed something to Josh – something Jenna couldn’t quite make out. It was between the two of them, anyway. Josh was nodding, and Tyler took his hand, leading him towards the piano.
Jenna stared at the screen as the camera focused on Josh’s face, showing Josh smiling blissfully. The red mark on his cheek was ugly but it would fade soon. All that Josh had had to face would fade soon, Jenna was sure of it. Damien would be punished. People would stop making horrible remarks about Josh. Josh would be seen as what he truly was – himself, just a boy, who happened to be Tyler’s boyfriend.
Tyler sat behind the piano. He had eyes only for Josh. He had had eyes only for Josh for a very long time. Jenna remembered now an instance, where they were in the tour bus. Tyler was dozing off against Jenna’s shoulder. He had murmured, “I saw him in the pit tonight, again.” Before Jenna had had the chance to ask Tyler to elaborate, Tyler had already fallen asleep.
That him had been Josh. And now, Josh was at the stage with Tyler. Josh, who had quickly become Tyler’s entire world. Jenna had never seen her friend as happy as he was now, despite the ugly bits.
Jenna was happy for him, in turn. Because Tyler deserved this.
Finally, Tyler started to sing.
When everyone you thought you knew deserts your fight, I'll go with you
You're facing' down a dark hall
I'll grab my light and go with you
I'll go with you
Michael turned his head, hands holding onto the little boy’s legs as the boy waved his arms. He made a face at Jenna, signaling, aren’t they disgusting?
Jenna could only grin back.
--
“Are you afraid of your mom? Is she going to yell at you?” Tyler teased Josh.
Josh, who had just exited the bathroom, having showered, turned to his boyfriend. Tyler was lounging on an arm chair in the corner of the room, smirking at Josh.
The tour was over. It was time for them to go home. Tomorrow, they’d have to face the long flight back to Columbus. But it was a long flight with Josh which made it much more tolerable.
“No,” Josh chuckled. Tyler couldn’t keep his eyes off him, staring at the water droplets on Josh’s naked chest. Tyler loved Josh’s skin – it’s warmth, it’s silky feel, every freckle. He wanted to get up and go to Josh, to touch him and never stop. “My mom has already chastised me enough. She’ll be so glad to have me back home, though.”
Tyler couldn’t concentrate on Josh’s words. Want had filled him. Josh kept talking, rummaging through his clothes, simultaneously holding onto his towel.
“Josh,” Tyler interrupted him. His chest was full, and he couldn’t contain the feeling anymore.
Ceasing what he had been doing, Josh looked at Tyler, an inquiring look in his eyes.
“Ty? Is everything alright?” he asked.
“I love you.”
Josh dropped the shirt he was holding. Tyler’s heart hammered as a million emotions flickered through Josh’s face.
“And I’m sorry,” Tyler continued, guilt eating him up. “I’m sorry that I love you.”
“Wh- What?” Josh breathed, an adorable wrinkle of confusion appearing between his eyebrows.
“I promised you wouldn’t get hurt,” Tyler explained, “Many times. And you keep getting hurt. Because of me.”
“No, Tyler. Not because of you,” Josh insisted. He was slowly walking closer to Tyler.
“Yes. Yes, because of me,” Tyler said.
But Josh shook his head. He was now in front of Tyler, dropping the towel and climbing into Tyler’s lap. At last, Tyler could touch him again, one hand caressing Josh’s side, the other rubbing his thigh.
Josh leaned his forehead against Tyler’s. Closing his eyes for a brief moment, all Tyler could hear, all Tyler could focus on, was Josh’s soft breathing. Josh’s scent overwhelmed him. Tyler wanted to stay in the moment, forever. Though he knew he didn’t deserve it.
“No,” Josh whispered tenderly, his hands finding their way up Tyler’s chest, until they were cupping Tyler’s face. “People get hurt. Even Tyler Joseph’s boyfriend. And that’s not Tyler Joseph’s fault. Let’s not blame anyone. Okay? Let’s put everything behind us. And if one of us gets hurt again? We’ll know how to work through it.”
Burying his face into the crook of Josh’s neck, Tyler let Josh’s word comfort him. He wanted to cry but he had cried enough. This was a happy moment. “Alright,” Tyler whispered hoarsely. Then, he chuckled. “Who taught you to be so wise?”
They looked into each other’s eyes. Josh looked mirthful, and exquisite, as always. He replied, “Mom, of course. Debby, too, a little bit. She tolerates no bullshit.”
“Debby, huh,” Tyler muttered, “I never told you that she texted me and made sure I was serious with you.”
“She did?” Josh groaned, “That’s so like her!”
“I’m glad you have people like you in your life,” Tyler confessed, caressing Josh’s soft hair, tucking a curl behind his ear.
“And I’m glad,” Josh said, pausing, looking at Tyler’s lips. “I’m glad to have you in my life. I was glad to have you in my life before I even knew you. Now it’s different. I truly know you, and I wouldn’t have anyone else. I love you. I’m in love with you.”
“Oh my God,” Tyler whispered, voice breaking a little. “Josh, I’m so in love with you, too. So, so, so in love. Head over heels.”
Letting out a surprised laugh, full of pure delight, Josh rubbed his nose against Tyler’s, then kissed him, and kissed him.
And kissed him.
“I need to get inside of you,” Tyler whispered fervently against Josh’s lips. “Where’s the lube?”
Josh leaned back on Tyler’s lap. He was blushing, and Tyler stroked his cheek, carefully over the almost healed injury. “What, love?” Tyler had to ask, “What is it?”
“I- There’s no need,” Josh said slowly, “I already prepped myself.”
Tyler nearly exploded, right there. “When? Where?” he asked.
“Like ten minutes ago? In the shower?” Josh giggled.
Groaning Tyler leaned back. Josh’s hand was on the waistband of his sweatpants. He looked into Tyler’s eyes, gaze extremely intimate. “Should we move this to the bed?” Tyler asked. He was already painfully hard.
“No,” Josh said, flashing his perfect teeth. “I’m going to ride you. Right. Here.”
The hardest part was getting Tyler’s pants off as quick as possible. They were both so desperate for each other, hands gliding over skin, mouths barely leaving each other. And then, Josh was lowering himself on Tyler’s cock, making Tyler’s eyes roll back.
He gripped Josh waist, as Josh stayed still, just breathing, leaning his forehead on Tyler’s shoulder.
When he moved, he gave everything to Tyler. And when he was too tired to move, thighs shaking, Tyler carried him over to the bed, continuing the love-making until both of them came.
He lay on top of Josh for a long while, still inside of him, just looking at him, having never felt as content.
--
“Are you ready?” Josh asked Tyler.
“I was born ready,” came Tyler’s reply. Josh snickered at his cliché of an answer.
“Let’s go, then.”
Hand in hand, they walked to greet their families, who had been impatiently waiting them to come home.
Both of them, together.