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The first time she saw him Lissabeth – Lissi to her friends – was working the front desk, checking in a delightful man named Bronn Blackwater who kept trying to pick her up.
“No thank you, I don’t need to be shown a good time.”
“Give the girl a break,” said a new voice with a smirk. “Not everyone succumbs to your alleged prowess.”
She keeps her face professional, but it’s hard not to react when faced with an unfairly attractive man.
“Jaime Fooking Lannister!”
The two men embrace. “Which cunt let you in,” taunted Bronn as they parted.
Jaime laughed as he stepped back, slapping the older man on the shoulder. “Perks of coming with the bridesmaid.” Bronn snorted. “Brain out of gutter man. She’ll kick your ass.”
“Where is the better half anyway?”
“Oh ha ha very funny,” he replies. “On bridesmaid duties – I’m staying well clear.”
“What do you know, there’s a brain cell in there after all.”
Lissi clears her throat and both turn to her as she extends a room key. “Sorry,” the golden man smiles charmingly and she notices the band shirt she’s wearing. Direwolves – good band that. “Didn’t mean to interrupt. I’m Jaime Lannister.”
He offers his hand and she swaps the key card over to shake it… only to end up holding it when it falls off. She looks down at it in horror.
It’s laughter that brings her eyes back up as Bronn snorts. “Never gets old that.”
She has no words as she hands it back and Jaime straps his prosthetic on with a charming grin. “Sorry, the look on your face.” She's somehow already forgiven him as he slaps Bronn on the back. “Catch up with you later?”
She’s stunned and can’t draw her eyes away as he leaves. Something must have shown as Bronn leaned over and plucked the plastic from her hand with a snort. “You are so not his type.”
“Uncle Jaime!”
Two blonde haired children streak across the foyer toward the demigod. (Old Gods, what is wrong with her.) He lifts both with ease and plants a kiss to each golden head.
“Where’s Aunty Brienne?”
He makes an exaggerated gasp and she has to grin at that. “I left her behind.”
“What? Why?” come the dismayed cries from what must be his niece and nephew.
He laughs. “Relax kids, she’s here.”
The kids slip back down to the ground before he straightens once again.
“Jaime.”
“Cersei.”
Lissi suppresses a wince as the other woman comes into her line of sight, turning to the next customer with a practiced smile. Cersei Baratheon nee Lannister had already made her presence felt.
And not in a good way.
“Come Myrcella, Tommen.” The kids protest at the order. “But Mum…”
The look she gives them brooks no argument and they grumble as they comply. “We’ll see you later okay?”
Jaime ruffles their head for good measure at they leave. He’s still grinning as he slips his phone from his pocket and disappears from sight.
xXx
The second time she sees him, she’s well and truly gotten herself under control.
Mostly.
Well she was until that happened.
“Ah, excuse me?”
Lissi looks up to find the bride looking at her with a stressed smile, though she very kindly takes the time to read her name badge. “Lisabeth? Could you help me with something? I’m supposed to be at the hairdresser right now and I’m running ridiculously behind on time. Could you be an absolute gem and run this up to Brienne Tarth in room 608?”
It’s a sheaf of papers.
“Certainly.”
“Thank you so much,” she gushes, already halfway out the door. “You’re a lifesaver.”
Lissi slips the tip into pocket and heads toward the elevator. She wondered if this was “Aunty Brienne” – surely there can’t be that many Briennes around? She must admit that she is looking forward to meeting the woman that is Jaime Lannister’s other half. She knocks on the door of 608, straightens her shirt and steps back.
She blinks when it’s opened by Jaime Freaking Lannister himself in all his glorious sweaty and shirtless form.
Her jaw doesn’t drop but it’s a near thing. Brain scramble. Seconds pass. Brain back onboard. She’s a professional Godsdamnit.
“Ah, is Brienne Tarth available?”
“She’s in the shower.”
“Who is it?” calls a voice.
“It’s a candygram.”
She flushes. “Ah no ma’am,” she interrupts, raising her voice. “Lissi from Reception. The bride asked me to deliver this for you.”
“I can give it to her,” says Jaime with a charming grin.
She hands it over with a practiced smile and steps away. The last thing she hears is a female voice through closed doors.
“Don’t you dare come in!”
xXx
The wedding of the season has booked out several rooms and suites, and there seems to be a neverending series of events.
The next time she sees Jaime Lannister, and actually the first time she sees Brienne, it’s as the men gather in the foyer waiting for their transport to arrive to take them to their stag do. She can see his face as he converses with a taller blonde haired man.
“Remember what happened last time?”
She blinks before realising it’s a woman who addresses him. A woman who is well over six foot, has muscles like she’s never seen before and short blonde hair – not bottle blonde, but like the straw blonde hair from really dry and humid days. And when she turns, she can see she doesn’t have much a chest and her face is covered in freckles and adorned by the bluest eyes she’s ever seen.
“Yes mother.”
“Brienne so has you whipped,” snorts Bronn as she walks away.
“Yup,” replied Jaime with a grin. He didn’t look a single bit regretful. “So whipped.”
It would appear that Brienne had valid concerns, because as she counted out the till later that night, she looks up to find Bronn and another man coming through the front door holding up a slurring Jaime between them.
“Wench!”
The tall woman steps off the elevator. She’s wearing the Direwolves band shirt she notices. “Jaime,” she grits out.
She’s impressed by her strength as the inebriated man is transferred to her and she bears his weight easily. Both delivery men are grinning and hardly apologetic as she throws an arm around him.
“We’ll see you in the morning,” she sighs.
“Wouldn’t want to be him right now.”
xXx
She’s on early shift the next day covering for Karsi (she had better appreciate this). She’s gathering up empty glasses from a nearby table when a clearly hungover, and yet still unfairly attractive, man comes into sight with a groan.
She watches with a suppressed grin as the man moans and flops down onto a chaise beside the tall blonde woman.
Brienne ignores him, not offering a single skerrick of sympathy as she continues to converse with others at the table. Though she doesn’t object when Jaime takes the coffee from her hand, takes a sip, mouth twisting in a wince, simply taking it back in hand when he was done for a sip of her own. He shuffles closer and then leans down to rest his head on her lap. As she turns to leave, tray full, Lissi sees Brienne drop her hand and run her fingers through his hair and sooth his temple.
Jaime closes his eyes with a sigh of relief.
He doesn’t seem to have recovered any better when she sees them by the pool a few hours later, Brienne lying under a sunshade, book in hand.
“I’m so tired.”
Lissi grins upon hearing the other half of her new favourite couple. The man stumbles over and flops down once again on to Brienne. He shuffles around, scooting further up her body so his head pops up under her book and nuzzles into her neck.
“Comfy?” she hears her ask wryly, lifting the book with a raised brow. He burrows into her further as if pondering the question and she watches his body go limp, limbs heavy.
He’s already asleep.
xXx
The next day is her day off – freaking finally – and when she comes back it’s to a scorcher of a day as she works poolside.
Several members of the wedding party are lying about on sunbeds – along with several other hotel guests – in various states of swimwear.
She spots Brienne without even realising that she’d been looking for her. She’s sitting on the side of the pool in the shade, her top half covered by an oversize white shirt/dress type thingy.
As a fellow pale skin, easy burn, she could relate to that.
Her feet are dangling in the water and she seems content enough just sitting there gazing into the water. Water that ripples when a man appears. It’s Jaime who swims over to her. He rests his arms on her legs and whatever he says gets an eye roll from Brienne in response. He rests his head on her thigh and Brienne runs a hand through his wet hair.
Whatever he says next must have been even more annoying as she pushes him away and dunks him.
Jaime Lannister comes sputtering to the surface and throws his head back with a laugh. He’s a man on a mission though as he swims determinedly to Brienne once again. She’s swift to back away though, legs out of the pool, cover thrown off to reveal a no nonsense navy blue one piece.
She dives over his head with a dive that is actually quite graceful considering her size. The man doesn’t seem fussed at all, changing direction and chasing after her in the water. He throws herself onto her back a la piggy back style when she comes up for air and refuses to let go.
Lissi snorts at the sight and gets back to work.
They’re still in the pool next time she comes out on towel and sunbed duty. Jaime exits the pool with a grin – a la Bond style, that should not be such a hot look – as excited cries carry over the water.
“Uncle Jaime!”
Jaime swoops up his niece and nephew and throws them into the water one by one. “Oops, you slipped.”
Both kids are grinning widely as they come up for air near Brienne, begging for a fight.
“I’m with Aunty Brienne,” cries Myrcella.
“But I wanted to be on Aunty Brienne’s shoulders,” whines Tommen.
“What am I? Chopped liver?” mutters Jaime.
Brienne – seemingly ever the peacemaker – offers a compromise. “We’ll do girls against boys and then swap over.”
LIssi finds herself silently cheering for Brienne and is delighted when her pairs win both times, toppling Jaime and his partner.
He’s ready and raring to go again though. “Now adults against kids,” he cries. “Up you go wench.”
“I’m too heavy,” she protests.
“I’m strong enough,” he promises.
She gives a guest a towel and turns back to find Brienne climbing up onto Jaime's shoulders gingerly as the kids’ eyes boggle. Tommen scrambles up onto his sister’s shoulders quickly once their aunt and uncle have settled.
It’s a ridiculous fight – particularly with the size difference – but it’s hilarious fun to watch and the big kids lose dramatically when Brienne topples backwards off Jaime after an attempt by Tommen almost sends him sprawling and drowning his sister.
xXx
It’s the rehearsal dinner that night and Lissi tugs on her waitress outfit and reminds herself that all this work means dragons in the bank and a degree she can finish.
Must. Hang. In. There.
The one saving grace is that maybe she’ll get to be entertained by her favourite couple.
She gets her first peek quicker than she expected when leaving the staff room to find Jaime standing nearby tugging at a loose end of his tie. Aware that he couldn’t very well tie it with only one hand, she takes pity and walks over. “Would you like me to assist you with that?”
He gives her a dazzling smile as he turns, and seems to recognise her. “It’s okay, I’m waiting for my wench.”
“Lannister,” growls a voice.
“Tarth,” he replies brightly as he turns.
Aw, they’re one of those couples that refer to each other by last name. In order to annoy each other by the looks of it.
“Where have you been all my life?”
The woman rolls her eyes and tugs him closer by the neckwear and proceeds to tie it with quick efficiency. He grandly offers her his arm which she takes with a blush.
Lissi marvels that she’s never seen anyone blush in quite a way as that before.
xXx
She’s in the ballroom pouring wine when they enter. All seats have name cards and she watches with interest as Jaime leans down to swap two over, placing Brienne on his right.
She realises why when the main course is served and it’s a slab of meat.
They move so seamlessly together that it draws no attention unless you’re looking at it as Brienne stabs her fork into Jaime’s meat and he cuts it up. She even saw him reach for her hand to stab it into the meat once herself. Brienne didn’t even blink as he uses and then returns her appendage.
Half the party relocates to the hotel bar afterwards and she’s sent that way to help out. She’s delighted to have front row seats for their next interaction.
“Wench.”
Brienne seems determined to ignore him.
“Brie.”
“My lady.”
That one gets a snort. “I’m no lady.”
“I can’t really claim to be a gentleman either.” He pauses a moment before he grins. Lissi braces herself – no good can come from that look.
“My knight in shining armour.”
“Love of my life.”
She glares at him.
He huffs dramatically. “Brienne.”
“What?” she growls.
He’s mock affronted, hand on his chest with an exaggerated woe-is-me pose. “Is that how you greet your favourite person?”
“You’re pushing it to even make the Top Ten right now,” she retorts.
“Harsh.” He pauses a moment and then nods. “But fair. So anyway, what do you want to drink?”
xXx
The countdown is on to the wedding – seriously how has it not happened yet? She’s seen more of these people than her own family this week – and when the bride and groom are finally, happily announced, she knows she’s in the home stretch.
Just got to survive the reception first with a group that was getting steadily rowdier.
“Wench!” cries Jaime across the room. “What am I doing on the tenth day next month?”
“Not your PA Lannister,” growls Brienne.
“Bet you still know Tarth,” he replies in a sing song voice.
Sigh.
“You’ve got the conference in Naath.”
“Ooh, why yes I do. Knew there was a reason I kept you around.”
“I want a pay rise,” mutters Brienne.
“I could think of some alternative means of payment.”
Blush.
“You don’t actually pay me a penny.”
“Am I not enough for you?” he declares dramatically.
She snorts. “I’m certainly not staying for the sparkling conversation and wit.”
“Wench, I’m hurt.”
“You’ll get over it,” she replies lightly.
“True,” he shrugs as he turns away. “Alrighty, we're away that weekend but if…”
xXx
The reception is over, but alas her night is not yet. She doesn’t know what the bribe was, but they’ve been given orders that the bar must stay open until the last of them leaves.
Wiping down the tables – think of the dragons, think of the dragons – she watches as various members of the wedding party trickle into the room.
She has a clear line of sight when they come in: Brienne is still in her bridesmaid dress, Jaime’s jacket around her shoulders. One hand is holding the material up, the other in the crook of her escort’s arm. The man himself has his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, tie undone, head thrown back in laughter and… she blinks… is that?
Yup, Jaime Lannister has high heels dangling from his fingers.
She spares a look at Brienne again and is relieved to see she is wearing flats. You do not want to know what various fluids have adorned the floor.
“Never again Jaime,” mutters Brienne as she comes within earshot. “Never again am I wearing these, no matter how the bride begs.”
Jaime just seems amused, swinging the offending footwear.
“It’s bad enough that I’m tall, there’s no need for me to tower over everyone.”
“I like how tall you are.”
Lissi smothers a grin at the glare she sends his way.
“Join us brother!” Their conversation interrupted by the call from a short man.
She hurries behind the bar to assist her colleague as they get swamped.
First round – well second for some – of drinks dispersed with, she takes advantage of the calm before the next storm guaranteed to come and happily eavesdrops as she dries glasses.
“So, for who shall the wedding bells peal for next eh.” Oh joy, it’s Bronn Blackwater again. “Shall we place our bets?”
Tyrion Lannister – for who else could it be – snorts into his drink. “These two are our resident married couple. It’s only a matter of time right.”
Brienne chokes on her drink as he thumps her on the back. “You right there?”
“Breathe,” Jaime laughs. “It wasn’t a proposal.”
So they’re not married yet. That is surprising, though she should have deduced that from the lack of wedding ring. Must be long term partners instead she muses as the conversation continues.
“You’ve been living together how long now?” asks Tyrion wryly.
“How long has it been now wench?” asks Jaime.
“Too long,” mutters the tall blonde.
“You really do have my condolences,” Tyrion offers with a roar of laughter. “Barkeep – another!”
Summoned to the table, Lissi arrives with champagne and the best whisky in the house.
Tyrion sticks out his glass for a refill of each, gulping down the whiskey like a shot before asking for another. “And one for yourself,” he dismisses her with a wink.
She’s doling out drinks when Brienne approaches the bar. She realises she hasn’t actually met the woman yet, and yet she feels like she already knows her. “What can I get for you?”
Brienne smiles at her tiredly. “Just a water thanks.”
“Ice?”
“Sure.”
It takes her all of two seconds to place it in front of her. “Thank fuck this is almost over.”
Lissi blinks. Something tells her she doesn’t usually swear.
“Sorry.”
She waves her off. “I’ve heard worse. “
The woman snorts. “And how much was it from just this past week?”
Lissi lifts her shoulders with a shrug. “It’s my job.”
“I feel like I should offer apologies on their behalf. I thank you for your patience and do make sure you close out the tab with a sizable tip for yourselves.”
She grins. “Apology accepted.”
“Wench!” comes a cry. “There’s a drought.”
“No one is going to die,” she calls without even bothering to turn. She rolls her eyes. “In case you didn’t gather from the inconsiderate man child, another round please.”
She starts to make the drinks as Brienne remains at the bar, seemingly taking a moment away from the madness.
“So how long have you two been together?” Lissi asks as she pulls a pint of Dorne’s finest ale.
“We’re not.”
Blink.
“I’m sorry what?”
Brienne sighs. “Jaime Freaking Lanniser is the bane of my existence and not a single thing more.” Said man suddenly appears and plants a smooch on her cheek.
“Like I said,” says Brienne. “Bane of my existence.”
“You love me,” he taunts as he leans against her and rests his head on her shoulder.
She doesn't push him away. “I need to get my head checked.”
Lissi watches them walk away with their drink order confused. Are they together or not?
Placing the healthy tip into the jar, she looks across to find them seated next to each other on one of the bar couches. Brienne is turned to her side, legs draped across Jaime’s lap. His stump holds it in place as he raises his glass for a toast and they share a warm look.
Not together my ass.