Archive of Our Own ^beta

Virgil was the first to notice. It was more than just the ever so slightly sluggish movements he began exhibiting, too. It was the way he tried to cover up his nodding off by proceeding to pull out his phone, the lack of appetite, and most importantly, it was the quite pristine knot in his tie becoming crooked. If there was one thing Virgil was an expert in, it was sleep deprivation, and Virgil had no doubt in his mind that Logan was sleep deprived.

Arguably, Logan was far more stubborn than him. Thus, Virgil did not know how to gently bring it up to Logan without making him feel attacked. So, instead, Virgil decided to simply keep a close eye on him for now.

-

Thomas’ next video would be going into a very heavy and very serious subject matter, and he had been quite anxious about making sure he had all the facts correct. Logan had taken this to heart and began staying up later and later, making sure he was nothing short of an expert on the subject. He spent hours upon hours of sitting at his desk, skimming books, reading articles and taking notes. There was no time for sleep when he had a deadline to make.

Logan knew that the others, especially Virgil, having been created from the left side of Thomas’ brain just as himself, were far more perceptive than they let on, and he feared that they might take notice of his new little habit. It was never a matter of if, but instead a matter of when... Of course Virgil was the first to see it.

Just as Logan knew the others were quite perceptive, he was as well. Which meant that he took notice of how Virgil’s gaze began to linger on him longer than normal, or how he would stare at Logan when he thought Logan wouldn’t notice. Logan waited for the figurative other shoe to drop. He waited... and waited. He was quite perplexed when it never happened. Even when it was only Virgil and he in the room, with no indication that Patton and/or Roman would be entering any time soon, Virgil never spoke up about it. It remained one of those things where both of them knew about it but they pretended the other didn’t know. Logan carried on with his research while sitting at the dining room table, fourth coffee in hand, and Virgil remained on the couch, scrolling through Tumblr on his phone, keeping watch on Logan out of the corner of his eye.

-

It took a long time for the problem to be acknowledged. When it did get acknowledged, however, it happened at the most inconvenient of time.

Logan stood in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, while he waited for his coffee to brew. He stood with his eyes closed, inhaling and letting the smell of the coffee ground him in place, never realizing quite how relaxing and comforting the smell really was, or how at home and safe it made him feel.

A snap right next to his ear jerked him awake. When had Logan closed his eyes in the first place? He honestly couldn’t say.

“Lo.”

He couldn’t have nodded off while standing up. That would be preposterous... Right?

“Logan!”

Logan was abruptly brought back to his senses and he practically stumbled while regaining his composure. “Virgil? When did you arrive?”

Hands stuffed into his hoodie pockets, Virgil had the most unimpressed look Logan has ever seen. Something about his posture though showed that he really didn’t feel like getting into it right now. “Go to bed, Logan.”

“Virgil, I-”

“Virgil, I don’t know what you mean. Don’t even try me with that. I know. You know I know. Go to bed. Let’s call it a day.”

Logan scoffed. He did not need this. Logan did not need this. His patience has been thin lately anyway. He turned and grabbed the entire coffee pot from its stand and brushed past Virgil. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He sunk out before Virgil could even retort back.

-

At the end of every week was “Fun Night Fridays” as Patton so loving named it. He had gotten the idea soon after Virgil was accepted, so that the four of them could grow closer as a family. They played a different game every week and sometimes multiple games in one night.

Tonight was Roman’s turn to pick. It came as a surprise to no one when he picked Mario Kart. He was second best to Logan and was determined to be number one.

“Are you ready to be left in the dust, nerd?” Roman challenged while hooking up the console.

“I don’t… I don’t see how dust has to do with this.”

Roman sighed, “Honestly, sometimes I swear you do that on purpose. Are you ready to be second best? Tonight is the night I will best you!”

“So you think,” Logan smirked. “Tonight, if I remain victorious, then you must give up on this dream of besting me.”

Roman finished setting up and sat next to Patton on the couch, controller in hand. Last time he sat next to Logan during Mario Kart, it almost ended in an all-out brawl because Roman kept nudging Logan to try and throw him off. After that incident, Logan and Roman had to have Patton and Virgil sit in between them. “Well,” Roman replied. “If we’re making this a challenge, then if I win tonight, I get to choose the game for game night on your night as well as mine for the next year!”

“An adequate trade,” Logan said. “It’s a deal.”

-

Well, Roman was beginning to panic. Once again, he was losing. He was right on Logan’s tail, so close, but for the life of him he could not catch up! “Curse you, Logan.” He gritted under his breath.

Logan was quite enjoying beating Roman as he flew through the course. He had long ago calculated the perfect angles and timing of each button for each map. It was muscle memory to him at this point.

On the third lap of Wario’s Gold Mine however, Logan’s adrenaline from the beginning of the game had begun to wear off. His movements became slow and mere feet from the finish line, the controller slipped from his hands and fell to the floor. His digital kart rolled to a complete stop exactly right behind the finish line. Roman’s kart flew right by his character and the word, “finish” appeared on Roman’s screen in bright, bold letters.

“Yes!” Roman jumped from his seat and threw his arms in the air. “I did it! I’ve finally beat you at your own game!”

Logan hadn’t even registered the loss yet. He had once again nodded off, however awakened suddenly by a heavy hand clamping down on his shoulder. “No need to cry about it, Logan. It was only a matter of time before you lost your crown.”

“Lost my crown…” Logan repeated in a confused daze. He saw the screen behind Roman and caught up with his surroundings. By this point, Patton and Virgil had crossed the finish line as well.

“I don’t think that’s very fair, Roman,” Patton spoke up. “Logan dropped his controller at the last second.”

“Yeah,” Virgil agreed. Logan was acutely aware of Virgil’s eyes burning holes into the side of his head. “Who could have predicted that?”

Roman merely shrugged. “A win is a win! It was never specified in the rules that dropping the controller disqualified the round.” He danced around the living room, bragging about his win through song, cheering about the fact that they wouldn’t have to play Scrabble for a whole year.

Logan knew Patton and Virgil were still staring at him, so he adjusted his glasses and said, “Roman is, unfortunately, correct. It was not specified in the rules and, therefore, a valid win.”

Roman’s response was to whoop and Logan excused himself to the kitchen.

It was too suspicious to make coffee at this hour in front of everyone else so, against his better judgement, Logan got a sugary but more importantly, caffeinated soda from the refrigerator, and chugged it, before returning to the living room. He would not lose again.

-

Logan was not an emotion. He was not emotional. He was not supposed to feel. But lately, he feels like he is going to figuratively fall apart at any moment now. He is just so tired, he cannot stand it anymore. He can’t go to sleep though. There is work to be done. There is research to be done. He must finish before the deadline.

Logan could barely walk, could barely register that he was walking. Somehow though, he ended up from his bedroom to the dining room table. He sat down at his chair and practically collapsed onto the table.

“Logan?” Patton asked as he set plates of food down. “Are you okay?”

Logan merely nodded in response. He no longer thought he could lift his head.

“Are you sure?” Patton had genuine concern in his voice. It was unsurprising, coming from him.

Logan used every bit of his energy to lift his head and look Patton in the eye. “I’m quite all right, Patton.”

Patton smiled gently, “Well, if you’re sure.” He went back to the kitchen to get the rest of the food.

Roman and Virgil came down shortly after and took their own seats at the table. Patton came back with a pitcher of orange juice and took his seat too.

Breakfast was a quiet time for the small family. It was waking up and preparing for the day, having one last moment of calm before the storm to come.

For Logan though, right now, with skin itchy from simply the air, it was loud. Every clank of fork against plate, sip from a cup, and thump as the cup was set back down was nothing short of loud.

Loud.

Loud, loud, loud!

It wouldn’t stop either. It just kept going. Clank, sip, thump. Clank, sip, thump. Clank, sip, THUMP. CLANK, SIP, THUMP!

Logan slammed his hand on the table. “Stop it!”

The entire table went silent. Logan closed his eyes and basked in it. No more sound. No more loud. No more… He opened his eyes. He looked at his family. They were staring right back at him. He looked at Virgil. Virgil’s eyes held nothing short of sympathy. In that moment, Logan knew Virgil that has been exactly where he currently is, and knew what he was feeling.

Patton spoke up first, voice as soft and gentle as possible. “What’s wrong, Logan?”

The words seemed to break him. Logan pulled off his glasses and buried his face in his hands. He felt his shoulders shake, his breathing quicken, and he knew that despite what he wanted, he was crying. His voice shook as he said, “I apologize for my outburst.”

“It’s okay, Logan.” Patton said patiently. “But please tell us what’s going on. We’ve… noticed that you’ve been off lately. We were hoping you’d come to us with it. I guess we should have gone to you instead.”

“Come on, Logan,” Roman spoke up. “I’ll even forfeit my win in Mario Kart if you tell us.” It was a lame attempt at a joke, however it seemed to work. Logan allowed himself a moment to breathe before wiping his face, and looking back up.

“Virgil figured it out a while ago. I think he’s been hoping that I’ll come to my senses. Apparently even Logic can lose sight of what is right.” Logan took a deep breath and replaced his glasses. "I have had almost no sleep for the past two weeks.”

Patton gasped. Logan continued before Patton could do anything else.

“Thomas’ next video deals with a very important subject matter and I must get all the facts right, and we have a deadline, there is no time for dillydallying.”

“So you’ve been over-studying.” Patton said and did not ask, putting the rest of the pieces together.

Logan nodded. Something about this situation made him choke up again and his voice cracked against his next sentence. “I’m just so tired.”

“Oh, Logan,” Patton whispered. “You're right. The video is important… but not more important than your health. Thomas would not want you pushing yourself like this. None of us do.” He got up from his chair and crossed the table to pull Logan into a hug. “It’s okay to take breaks. In fact, it’s encouraged. How many times have you told us that sleep is vital?”

Logan knew it was a rhetorical question. It’s not like he had any energy left to answer anyway. He practically sunk into Patton’s embrace, something he would later deny ever doing.

“That’s it,” Roman said. “Forget whatever plans we originally had today. We’re getting blankets, we’re having a slumber party in the living room, and we’re going to make sure Logan goes to sleep.

“I guess it’s a good thing we’re still in our pajamas then.” Virgil added.

So, Patton gently led Logan to the couch while Roman and Virgil got the set up ready, and when it was time to lay down, Patton turned off the lights and joined their little cuddle party.

With his family surrounding him, and with the world once again silenced, and the warmth he felt, the last thing Logan said before he fell asleep was, “Thank you.”