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“Thor says he can find Loki and turn this whole situation around,” Fury said with a look like he was one careless word away from spontaneously combusting. He was glaring at Tony in particular. Well, at Steve. Steve's body. Which Tony was currently inside of. It was bizarre. “And until then I want both of you to be on your best behavior. If you cause any sort of trouble, Stark, I swear to god I will snatch your ass up and put it on ice, you understand?”
And see, normally Tony would've made a joke about Fury snatching a piece of his ass, but –
Fuck, Tony was concentrating so hard on what Fury said that everything else seemed somehow less important. It felt unnatural, especially because he was used to thinking about twenty things at once, juggling designs in his head even as he listened to people's reports and complained about the last season of Game of Thrones. This... hyper-focus that Steve seemed to have just felt wrong, like an itching sensation in his brain. Judging by the way Steve kept rubbing at his temples, a grimace on his face as he probably tried to ward off a headache, he was probably experiencing the same thing.
Being in Steve's body was easily the worst experience of Tony's life. And it sucked! Because in theory he would have really enjoyed this, having a body that didn't get tired, maybe running a marathon and doing a thousand push-ups just to know what that felt like –
But this? Jesus fucking Christ, Tony wanted to die.
“Okay,” Fury said after a long pause, probably just as surprised at Tony's lack of a joke as Tony was. He glared at them both. “Get out of my office. No funny business.”
“Yes, Sir,” Steve said and then scrunched up his nose. Tony grinned despite himself.
“It's weird, right?”
Steve gave him an unreadable look – and wow, Tony's face looked good like that, all mysterious and brooding. He might've gotten a little turned on. Textbook narcissism indeed.
“Let's go,” was all Steve said as he got up with one last nod at Fury and walked out of the conference room. Tony followed at a more sedate pace, consciously slouching so no one would mistake him for the actual Captain America. People gave him weird looks as they walked through the hallway but Tony much preferred that over hero worship.
“We could go to my workshop,” Tony suggested as they reached the elevator. “I can get some work done and you can... draw, or something.”
Steve gave him a sharp look but eventually nodded with his mouth pressed into a tight line. “Fine.”
Tony sighed. He wasn't even trying to rile Steve up but somehow he always seemed to find exactly the wrong thing to say. And most of the time he didn't even understand what the problem was.
Fucking moody super soldiers, Tony thought uncharitably on the ride home that consisted of tense silence and both of them pretty much pretending that the other didn't exist. It was weird to see New York through Steve's eyes, the way each building seemed to conjure up different emotions than Tony was used to. Thankfully Steve seemed to have gotten over his initial disgust for Stark Tower because the sight of it now made him feel more relieved than anything else.
“Thanks, Happy,” Tony said as they got out and Happy's “No problem” was just a little too cheerful for the mood. Tony made a mental note to give him a huge tip next time for enduring that awkwardness.
Once they were in the workshop Tony could feel his shoulders relax at his familiar surroundings. To his surprise he saw Steve do the same but that was probably more because of him being in Tony's brain than anything else.
“I can set up a table for you,” Tony offered but Steve shook his head, trudging over to the couch instead.
“This is fine,” he said, sliding his mission bag off his shoulder before he sat down, looking around. “Uh, you have any paper or –“
“Oh! Yeah, sure,” Tony said, rummaging through his desk until he came up with some grid paper and a ballpoint pen that he held out to Steve a bit sheepishly. “Is that okay? I can get DUM-E to fetch something else for you or –“
“No, that's fine,” Steve said with a small smile, taking the paper and smoothing it out over a book he'd probably pulled from his bag. “Thank you.”
Tony nodded, turning back to his work table and opening up his latest project after some haggling with JARVIS – “yes, it's me. Steve can prove it, he's right there. No, DUM-E, don't you dare, put that thing down!” – and getting to work.
...or not.
“What the hell?” Tony mumbled, shaking his head to clear it but – “JARVIS, enhance that frame?”
JARVIS did, blowing it up until the grid became visible but still Tony could only stare at the schematics. He knew them. He understood them. And yet –
“Let's run the simulation,” Tony said, watching as the lines of code twisted in front of him, running through the process and –
Nothing. Tony frowned. “JARVIS?”
“Yes, Sir?”
“Could you run it again, please?”
Tony watched avidly, waiting for that spark of inspiration, an idea of how he could improve it –
“Again,” Tony said urgently, his fingers clawing at the edge of the desk. “Loop it.”
The lines of code ran through the process again and again and Tony understood what was happening, how the sequencing worked but he couldn't – he couldn't –
Steve's head whipped up at a loud bang that he quickly realized was Tony's fist slamming down on his work desk.
“Fuck!” Tony shouted, leaning heavily on the desk and letting his head hang. “Jesus Christ, I can't fucking think!”
Steve straightened up in alarm. “Is something wrong? Do you need –“
“No! Just –“ Tony huffed. “How do you ever get anything done if you have to do things one at a time?” he asked irritatedly. “It drives me nuts! How the fuck do you do it, Steve?”
Steve stared at him in disbelief. “You're asking me that? Your brain is killing me! Everything's just piling up and I can't catch a break because I'm just – fucking dissecting stuff in my head all the time –“
“It's better than being so fucking slow!” Tony shouted exasperatedly. “No offense.”
Steve gave Tony a disgruntled look. “The serum actually improved my neural system. I'm not an idiot, Stark.”
Tony groaned. “Oh god, if this is what smart feels like how the hell do normal people function?”
“How do you function?” Steve asked incredulously. “There's so much input! I never thought you actually could pay attention to six things at once, but now –“
Tony scoffed. “Of course I can. Genius, remember?”
“It's insane,” Steve moaned, massaging his aching temples. “I feel bad for yelling at you now. If I had a brain like this I'd just stay in a dark room all day.“
Tony gave him a baffled look. “Are you kidding me?”
“What?”
“How is being in my brain a bad thing?”
Steve paused. “Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously,” Tony snapped, eyes narrowing. “You know how many people would kill to be as smart as me? Being a genius is something you're born with, you can't learn that shit. I'm lucky to have that kind of brain.”
“You call this lucky?” Steve asked incredulously. “Tony, I've had a headache the entire time I've been like this, it won't let me sleep and there's always a million thoughts at once that I can't even fucking keep up with!”
Tony was still looking at him without an ounce of understanding and Steve realized with a start that none of that seemed like a bad thing to Tony.
“Tony,” he said, his voice low. “You have to know that this isn't healthy.”
Tony bristled. “How would you know? You're just having trouble because you're not used to being this smart. No offense.”
“None taken,” Steve said. “But seriously, if this is what it feels like for you everyday then...”
“Then what, Steve?” Tony asked bitterly. “It is what it is and there's no changing it.”
“There has to be a way to make it stop! Or at least bearable.” Steve ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Does nothing help? Sleep, drugs, I don't know – meditation?”
Tony gave him a pitying look. “My brain is a machine, Steve, one of the best of its kind. You can't expect me not to use it to its full potential.”
Steve shook his head, sighing quietly. “If you won't change your habits then at least get some help. These headaches are no joke, Tony. You should see a doctor.”
Tony scoffed. “I've been poked and prodded since I was six, Steve. There's no preventing those. Painkillers just make me woozy and I can't work like that.”
Steve huffed in frustration, throwing his hands up. “Is there anything at all that helps to just... make you stop thinking?”
Tony looked at him silently for a moment before he sighed and admitted “Sex helps.” Steve paused, feeling something click in his – Tony's – brain, drawing conclusions even before Tony elaborated. “Not always, but when it's really good sex then afterwards things just... kinda stop. For a while.”
Steve's head spun as Tony's brain helpfully supplied a chronological list of all the women he'd seen entering and exiting the tower over the past month, complete with times and dates, cross checking Tony's schedule –
“Wait,” he said, feeling an epiphany hit him as a heavy weight sank in his stomach. “So the reason why you have sex with all these women is so you can get a break from... this?”
Tony rolled his eyes, waving a hand at him. “Don't make it sound so pathetic. I have sex because I love sex, period.” He leered at Steve, leaning obnoxiously on his table. “I don't need an ulterior motive to want to feel good.”
But that wasn't it, was it. Oh, he knew Tony wasn't lying about loving sex for what it was, but Steve could also tell that while Tony had apparently convinced himself that there was no other reason for sleeping around he very clearly only brought women to the tower after days of science binging, after missions and exhausting meetings. And as Steve was just finding out being in Tony's brain when he was stressed was like standing inside a hornets' nest.
“Maybe I should hook up with someone,” Steve mumbled, flinching when Tony jerked, making something on his desk clatter to the floor.
“What?” Tony asked sharply and Steve was mortified at himself for saying that, opening his mouth to apologize – “No, fuck that, you're not taking my body for a spin, Rogers!”
“What? No!” Steve said, half-indignant, half-guilty. “I meant – the headaches! I have a headache so I – sorry.”
“Do you know how many people I know in this city?” Tony continued indignantly. “With your luck you'll hit on one of my business partners' daughters and then I'll have a fucking lawsuit on my hands –“
“I didn't mean anything by it!” Steve shouted, his face red with embarrassment and anger. “I just meant that your headaches are a pain in the ass. Sorry.”
Tony looked at him silently for a long moment before his glare softened. “You're really struggling with this, aren't you?”
Steve sighed. “It hardly matters, does it? Thor will find Loki soon enough.”
Tony gave him a dubious look before he nodded, letting it slide and turning back to his schematics. “Well, I've got work to do. That is if I can actually manage to do it.”
Steve knew a dismissal when he heard one so he got to his feet and walked towards the elevators. “I'll see you at dinner!”
“Yeah, sure,” Tony said distractedly so Steve closed the door behind him and left.
As soon as he was alone Steve sat down on the floor, holding his head in his hands and pressing down in a useless attempt to counteract the throbbing in his brain. Even as he did that his mind was obsessively going over each and every one of Tony's sentences, drawing conclusions and offering up more data until Steve groaned in pain.
Under different circumstances he would have appreciated such a close look at how Tony thought, how brilliant he was, but Steve had never expected it to be so overwhelming, such an influx of information that he normally wouldn't have picked up on. Tony's perception lacked a lot of the nuance Steve was used to, the awareness of tone, moods or subtle cues, but Tony's brain was constantly running calculations to make up for it, weighing percentages and predicting outcomes. It was incredible and exhausting and Steve couldn't believe that Tony had lived like this for more than forty years without collapsing.
Well, to be fair, Tony had never known anything else, so it was probably second nature, but to Steve who sometimes enjoyed just staring mindlessly into a fire or a TV and not thinking about anything at all – It was torture.
And Tony's body. Steve was trying very hard not to even look at it because he knew that if he started he wouldn't be able to stop. It was bad enough that he got excited just watching his – Tony's – hands as he did even the most mundane things. He'd always loved Tony's hands. Steve desperately wanted to see what they would look like trailing over Tony's naked chest, his thighs, his cock –
But this was still Tony's body and Steve wasn't going to take advantage, no matter how much he wanted to.
A few minutes passed before Steve picked himself up off the floor, wincing at the creaking of his bones – he'd forgotten what that felt like after the serum. His body was always at peak performance – and trudging into the elevator.
Maybe he would just try to take a nap before dinner. Even Tony's brain had to shut down during sleep, right?
Tony walked into the kitchen in an absolutely foul mood. He had gotten only a fraction of the work done that he normally would've and his stomach felt like a black hole. He would never make fun of Steve's appetite again. This shit was brutal.
To his surprise he saw his own body sitting at the table already, staring into a glass of water with an aura like someone had pissed in his cereal. Well, at least he wasn't the only one having a shitty day.
“Dude, you look like a zombie.”
Steve gave him the dirtiest glare Tony had ever seen from him. “Shut the fuck up.”
Huh, okay. Tony tilted his head at him. “You okay there, buddy?”
“I can't sleep,” Steve said like was talking about kittens getting murdered and Tony hummed consideringly.
“Well, when I can't sleep I usually just design something.”
“Yeah, well, I don't design things!” Steve spat and Tony raised his hands placatingly.
“Okay, no reason to get pissed at me.”
“I'm tired and I can't sleep,” Steve gritted out through clenched teeth and Tony sighed.
“Sounds more like you're frustrated and your head hurts.”
Steve looked up in surprise and Tony gave him a wry smile, tapping his head. “That's usually me, remember? Look, if you just wait it out you'll fall asleep eventually.”
“And how long will that take?” Steve asked a little desperately. Tony shrugged.
“Like sixteen to twenty-four hours? I like to just work til I crash.”
Steve groaned, dropping his head into his hands, and Tony suddenly felt bad for him. If it was this frustrating for him to be in Steve's brain even without having a killer headache –
Well.
“Jerking off helps, too,” Tony said off-handedly, patting Steve on the back when he choked on air and started coughing. “No, seriously. Orgasms are the natural painkiller. Scientifically proven.”
“I can't jerk off in your body, Tony, what the hell,” Steve spluttered and Tony shrugged.
“I don't mind. By the way, that reminds me.” He held out his hand and waited until Steve shook it on reflex, looking perplexed. “Congratulations,” Tony said seriously and Steve's face scrunched up in confusion.
“What for?”
“This,” Tony said, gesturing at his – well, Steve's – crotch. “You're working with A+ equipment. Five stars.”
Steve blushed furiously. “You –“
“Had to use the bathroom,” Tony said with a grin. “Snuck a peek. I hope you don't mind.”
“I, uh –“ Steve seemed to be at a loss for words and Tony wrinkled his nose at seeing the open embarrassment on his own face. He hadn't blushed like that since the nineties, Steve better not ruin his reputation here.
“That's –“ Steve started and then couldn't seem to finish his sentence so Tony took pity on him, slinging an arm around his shoulder.
“Look, here's the thing. If you don't want to invade my privacy by not jerking off or whatever that's fine. But I'm giving you permission.”
Steve flushed an even darker red at that but his look held an awful lot of reprimand. “You can't just say things like that.“
“My body, my rules,” Tony sing-songed and Steve grimaced. “Don't worry, I won't jerk off in yours. Not unless you say I can anyway.”
Steve gave him an incredulous look. “You'd – do that? Seriously?”
“How is that surprising?” Tony asked, gesturing at his – Steve's – body. “Peak of human perfection, hello? Who wouldn't?” Also Tony had nursed a pathetic school boy crush on Steve ever since he first laid eyes on him but that was neither here nor there. “I'd jerk you off even if I was in my own body.”
Steve's eyes widened drastically and Tony wanted to slug himself in the mouth. Bit too honest there, Stark. “You –“
“A bro job!” Tony added hastily. “You know, as a favor. Between friends.”
Steve still looked vaguely shellshocked but he nodded slowly. “Right.”
There was an awkward pause only interrupted when Steve suddenly hissed, rubbing at his temples again. His face was scrunched up in pain and – oh, fuck it, Tony had gone this far, what was a little more humiliation on top of that –
“You want me to jerk you off now?”
Steve's head whipped up in disbelief but Tony refused to take it back, holding his chin high as he waited for Steve's response. It seemed to take a while for Steve to find the words but after taking a couple of deep breaths he finally opened his mouth.
“What?”
“It would make sense, right?” Tony asked nonchalantly even though he felt anything but chill. He could feel sweat beading on the back of his neck. “I know my body better than anyone. If you let me do this for you I'll make you come in three minutes or less, guaranteed, and you'll probably be able to get some sleep. Deal?”
Steve just kept staring at him like Tony had whipped out his dick at a college party. Which was definitely not a comparison he drew from personal experience, shut up.
“You would do that?” Steve asked, a little breathless, and hey, that didn't sound like a no.
“Sure,” Tony said with a shrug. “I wanna help you out.”
Steve nodded, looking around uncomfortably for a moment before he stood up from the kitchen stool. “Not here. We can go to my room.”
“Wait, right now?” Tony asked, honestly a little shocked at Steve taking the initiative, and Steve immediately backpedaled.
“I mean, unless – If you don't want to –“
“Nope, now's fine, perfect,” Tony chirped, pushing off his own stool and leading the way out the door. “Let's do this.”
It was only when they were already in Steve's room that the awkwardness caught up to Tony, his hands suddenly feeling clammy with nervous sweat. Damn it, this was only a handjob to help Steve out, he'd done this a thousand times before, nothing to get worked up about –
“On the bed?” Steve asked uncertainly and Tony gave him a grin.
“Sure thing, whatever you want.” If he sounded a bit too chipper Steve didn't call him out on it, he just sat on the edge of the bed with his hands clasped in his lap. His nervous smile looked foreign on Tony's face and for some reason that was what strengthened Tony's resolve as he sat down next to Steve, turned towards him and reached for the fly of his pants.
“May I?” he asked and Steve nodded, his eyes fixed on Tony's hands. Tony made quick work of the belt, pulling the zipper down and his dick out and – well, it was weird, seeing it from this angle, but he could work with this. “Just relax, okay?”
Steve nodded, swallowing heavily, and Tony gathered some saliva in his mouth before he spit into his hand and rubbed it over Steve's – his – cock, twisting it around the head. Steve's hips twitched forward and Tony started stroking his dick slowly, paying extra attention to the head because that had always been the quickest way to get him hard.
Lo and behold Steve was rearing to go in seconds – to be fair he'd been halfway there before they even started – and Tony grinned, shifting a little closer so he could get a firmer grip. He reached out with his other hand to loosely grab Steve's balls, just holding them with a little bit of tension, and Steve gasped, staring at Tony with wide eyes.
“This okay?” Tony asked and Steve nodded.
“Yeah, I just – it's weird, I don't like touching my balls at all.”
“Huh.” Tony rolled them in his palm and Steve's arm flailed out to grab his wrist. He didn't pull him away though. “Does this still feel good then? I don't have to –“
“No,” Steve said quickly. “It does. Sorry, I was just – surprised.”
Tony hummed, starting to stroke Steve's cock again as he tugged very lightly on his balls, and Steve gasped out a small moan, looking torn between being mortified and in absolute awe.
“Wow, this is – wow.”
“Told you I know what I like,” Tony said with a sly smirk, twisting his fingers and enjoying the way Steve thrust into the touch. “It's weird doing it from this angle though.”
“Sit behind me,” Steve said and Tony paused, making Steve squirm impatiently. “Come on, if you – You can jerk me off the way you do it to yourself.”
Well then. Apparently Steve fucking Rogers wasn't as innocent as it seemed. Or his tactical genius was also applicable in the bedroom which – yeah. Tony would love to explore that.
If, you know, there was any chance in hell that Steve would ever want him in his bed when they weren't in each others' bodies. Which was highly unlikely.
“You're the boss,” Tony said, letting go of Steve just long enough to scoot over until he was sitting behind him, his legs on either side of Steve's – his – body. He tried very hard not to notice how well they fit together what with how much bigger Steve's torso was, arms long enough to comfortably reach around Tony's body. Tony took advantage of that, getting his arms under Steve's to he could grab his cock and balls again, and Steve sighed in pleasure.
“God, that's so good.”
Tony got back to work and like this the motions were so familiar that it was like playing a fine-tuned instrument, adjusting the pressure and speed according to Steve's reactions, the tightening of his belly, the twitching of his thighs – Tony squeezed Steve's balls and Steve's hips spasmed so hard he almost dislodged Tony's hands.
“Holy shit!” Steve called out, clawing at Tony's – Steve's – thighs to get enough leverage so he could thrust up into Tony's grip. “Oh my god. Do that again!”
Tony grinned, cupping Steve's balls more firmly and twisting his hand ever so slightly back and forth until the noises coming out of Steve's mouth went even higher in pitch, his breathing hard and heavy because –
“I'm close, oh god, Tony, I'm close, please –“
It only took a few more practiced strokes, a twist just under the head, and Steve was coming like a shot, his fingers digging into Tony's thighs as he convulsed against Tony's chest. Tony had always been vocal when he came and apparently that had been passed along to Steve because he moaned, long and loud, and Tony was so fucking hard he could pound nails. God, he wished he could've seen Steve's face.
Well, his face. Which was probably weird but Tony didn't care.
A few seconds later Steve slumped down heavily in Tony's arms, head falling back against Tony's shoulder. His face was slack, eyes closed and mouth open as he panted for breath. Most noticeably the lines of pain had vanished from his forehead and Tony mentally patted himself on the back for a job well done.
“Holy shit,” Steve breathed and Tony chuckled.
“You're welcome. Beats beating it yourself, am I right?”
“No, you don't understand,” Steve said dreamily, turning to look at Tony and that lazy satisfaction in his eyes was – well, if Tony hadn't been hard before he definitely was now. “That was the best orgasm I've ever had. Like – everything was perfect.”
Oh, Tony loved it when someone stroked his ego. “Awesome. How's your head?”
Steve frowned for a second before his face cleared again, a cautious joy taking over. “The headache's gone. Holy shit, it actually worked!”
“Well, looks like you might get some sleep after all,” Tony said, pulling away so he could make his way off the bed. “I'll leave you to it the–“
“Wait.” Tony turned back around but Steve wasn't looking at him. He was looking at the obvious tent in Tony's pants. Whoops. “You want me to take care of that?”
Tony blinked. “Pardon?”
“I mean –“ Steve flushed, gesturing at himself. “It only seems fair. I mean, it's really something else. You wanna try it?”
God, did Tony ever. He shrugged as casually as he could, sauntering back over to the bed. “Sure, why not?”
Before he knew it Steve was sitting behind him with his arms wrapped around Tony's waist, made a little more awkward by the fact that he had to bend his neck to be able to see what he was doing.
“Okay,” Steve said and pulled Tony's – Steve's – cock out of his pants. His hand was bone dry and Tony was about to make a comment when Steve grabbed him and gave him a cursory stroke –
Oh. Oh, he liked that.
“That's... weird,” Tony said but he could hear the breathless note in his voice already. Steve chuckled behind him.
“I know. You like it wet, right?”
“Usually, yeah,” Tony breathed as he watched his own hand expertly handle Steve's dick right in front of him. Again he tried not to notice how nice it looked, the contrast of their skin tones tickling something in his – Steve's – brain, something that had his fingers itching for a pencil.
He jumped when he suddenly felt Steve's other hand trailing feather light over his collarbones. This sort of touch didn't usually do much for him – he preferred more pressure – but on Steve's skin it felt perfect, making his back arch into the touch.
“Shit. So your thing's gentle sex?” Tony gasped out mindlessly, not really expecting an answer, but Steve paused for a second.
“I do like it. But then again –“ His hand suddenly squeezed Tony's cock like a vice and Tony groaned at the rough friction when Steve started stroking him fast and hard. “I like this, too.”
“Oh my god,” Tony moaned high in his throat, rising in pitch when Steve's other hand brushed over his nipple. “Oh shit. You like nipple stuff?”
Steve snorted. “Is that what you call it?”
Tony couldn't even answer because when Steve pinched that same nipple his brain short-circuited, his cock jumping in Steve's fist and oh god, he was –
“Close,” he gasped. “Oh god, I'm gonna come, Steve –“
And he couldn't even describe what Steve did next, some weird rippling motion with his fingers that ended in his thumb rubbing right over the slit at the top of his dick, and Tony couldn't have stopped himself from coming if he tried, his mouth falling open because holy shit, this was so fucking good –
Steve kept stroking him through it with the perfect pressure and it was amazing how good it still felt even after he'd already come, something Tony would've never enjoyed if he was in his own body. But Steve's body seemed to love it and so Tony kept thrusting into Steve's fist until Steve finally let him go and he went utterly boneless.
“Good, right?” Steve asked cheekily and Tony could only moan in agreement, feeling like he might never get up again. God, he hadn't been this thoroughly fucked out in – ever, probably.
He vaguely registered Steve washing him off before pulling a blanket over both of them. It hit him for a second that this should be weird, that a bro job didn't usually end in a cuddling session, but he shrugged it off, too tired and content to really follow that line of thought.
So he settled back into Steve's arms, letting sleep pull him under. They'd figure this out tomorrow.
It took three days for Thor to locate Loki and even that was three days too long. By the end of it Steve was ready to tear his hair out just for a moment of peace and quiet and Tony had destroyed his two favorite mugs in frustration at how much slower his thought process was.
They were just having breakfast with the team when thunder roared outside their window and a lightning strike rocked the walls.
“Fear not, my friends!” Thor hollered as he suddenly appeared in the common room, a disgruntled Loki squished under his arm. “I have located my brother and –“
“Thank fucking god!” Tony cried out in relief, practically flying across the kitchen island to get to them. Steve followed along at a more sedate but no less eager pace. “Let's do this, right now, Frosty.”
Loki clearly wanted to say something snarky but a stern look from Thor made him hold his tongue, rolling his eyes instead as he waved his hand in Tony and Steve's general direction.
Tony blinked. “What, is that –“
A bolt of agony ripped through his spine and Tony screamed, head thrown back and clawing at his chest –
And then it was over and Tony looked up at Thor with teary eyes. He could've cried in relief when his mind immediately spit out the specs of Thor's armor along with an idea for an upgrade of Natasha's widow bites.
“Oh thank god,” he breathed, patting the arc reactor in his chest. “Holy fuck, I can't believe I actually missed you.”
“Ooooh...” Tony looked over when he heard Steve moan in relief, rubbing his temples with his eyes closed in bliss. Damn, he almost looked like he did when he –
Tony cleared his throat, discreetly adjusting himself in his pants. “You good?”
“Yeah,” Steve sighed and Tony grimaced. Okay, could he at least try to sound a little less post-orgasmic? “Wow, that's so much better.”
“Couldn't agree more,” Tony quipped, giving Thor a cheeky salute. “Thanks, Point Break.” He glared at Loki. “No thanks to you, dickwad.”
“Tony,” Steve scolded but Tony could see him direct his own glare at Loki. Hypocrite. “Thor, would you mind taking him back? I appreciate your help but I don't –“
“Oh, yes, of course,” Thor immediately jumped in, an apologetic smile on his face. “I'll see to it that he is locked away. Properly this time.”
“Thank you,” Steve said with much feeling and Thor nodded at them one last time before he started pulling Loki towards the stairs.
“Well, that was anticlimactic,” Clint chimed from the breakfast table, his mouth full of toast. “Are we good now?”
“Yup, a hundred percent me, baby,” Tony said with a grin, spreading his arms wide. He could see Steve rolling his eyes in his peripheral. “Now if you'll excuse us, we've got stuff to do.”
With that Tony turned on his heel and marched towards his bedroom, beckoning Steve with a hand over his shoulder.
“Use protection!” Clint called after them and Steve huffed in mock annoyance as he followed Tony, catching up to him as they walked through the door of Tony's apartment.
“You couldn't have made it a little more obvious?” Steve asked exasperatedly and Tony gave him a shit-eating grin.
“Oh please. I saw you checking me out.”
“You can't prove shit,” Steve sniffed and Tony laughed, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards his bedroom.
“Come on. Let's take this baby for a spin.”
“This baby?” Steve asked with laughter on his lips. “It's your body, Tony, not a car.”
“Well, you can take me for a ride any day,” Tony said, batting his eyelashes ridiculously. “Gotta get a feel for the old engine again, you know?”
Steve's eyes glinted mischievously. “Think you can keep up? I know exactly how to make you scream now, Stark.”
“Oh, trust me,” Tony husked, pushing Steve down onto the bed with a smirk. “The feeling's mutual.”