Chapter Text
"i do not want the peace which passeth understanding, i want the understanding which bringeth peace." - Helen Keller
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He was understanding.
She was alone, trapped in the turmoil simmering within the spacious Throne Room. It was a blur of the red walls and Praetorian Guards, speckles of black spotting her vision – but she kept her focus on him. Ben. He was beside her, his body arched backwards, his strangled screams reverberating through her. Her own screams drowning her as she sobbed. The pain of Snoke tearing apart the frail barriers of her mind, clawing apart every memory and searching for Luke's location was nothing compared to seeing Ben being tortured. And it was because of her.
Snoke wanted her to turn, as he had Ben. To delve into the darkness now that his former Apprentice had failed him.
Free him, a voice snarled in her mind. Don't you have compassion for him? Pathetic child.
Rey tried to resist, recalling the shadows and empty reflections at Ach-to. How it felt...
The hair on her neck stood up, a cold breath running down her spine. A twisted sensation crawled beneath her skin and down to her fingertips – temptation. She could be powerful with the power of the Dark side – more than Snoke could be. And it was all simmering in wait.
She had been fighting her whole life, abiding by what she had thought was right... What was she willing to sacrifice to win this war? Leia had asked her before she left to look for Luke. She hadn't known the answer before, but maybe she did now.
She desperately watched Ben. His eyes rolled to the back of his head. His screams no longer clashed with her own – abruptly stopping. His body no longer shook beneath Snoke's hold. The light of their bond snapping violently inside her chest, a hollowness rooting itself in its place.
Somehow her screams became louder. Excruciating as they left her throat raw, but nothing could equate to the anguish as she stared at his dead body.
Snoke had killed him.
She could feel it consuming her, flooding her veins as she let it take control. Anger, hate and vengeance swirled within her before boiling over. Ice ran through her veins.
Rey's screams caught in her throat, an unnerving silence overcoming the Throne Room. She fell, landing on one knee with ease. She reached out slowly, gently placing Ben's lifeless body onto the floor.
She stood back up, facing a surprised Snoke. His expression turned into cruel delight.
"So much strength... Perhaps death is not your fate, young Jedi." He closed his eyes as he sensed her with the Force. "Raw, untamed power and darkness." He opened them, staring at her. "You have witnessed the First Order destroy the New Republic. Become my Apprentice young Rey and witness the destruction of the pathetic Resistance – "
She shot out a hand, feeling the Force wrap around his throat. Her head tilted as she watched him struggle for air, his hands desperately attempting to clutch onto invisible hands. The Guards leapt forward but with one flick of her hand, the fiery lightsaber cut through them. She walked forward, each step in-sync with the bodies that thumped against the floor.
The lightsaber hilt spun through the room and she grabbed it in her head, igniting it.
"I am no Apprentice." She sneered viciously at Snoke, who was still choking from her hold.
And without another word, cut off his head with a single swipe.
Rey awoke with a gasp. She felt herself desperately holding onto the piece of light that shone through the dark, desperate to regain the Balance. Tears were still streaming down her cheeks, gasps of broken words escaping her as her lungs failed her. It wasn't working, she could feel herself tumbling back into the nightmare – craving the power she held over Snoke.
"Rey?" A deep voice asked gently.
The voice brought back the flashes of his dead body. How still it laid on the ground.
Her fingers gripped onto his bare skin, feeling deprived of warmth and love.
Ben.
He was here. And he was alive.
Another sob reverberated within, a string of unintelligible words following it. Large arms wrapped around her and she was engulfed in him. She felt his hand enclose around hers, gently squeezing with each breath and she felt her erratic breaths align with his even ones. Through the bond she felt his concern filter through, a feeling of shame overcoming her as he recognised the dark that had festered within her.
"A vision?" He asked softly.
"No," she whispered. She looked up at him, seeing his worried expression. "It was... Something else."
He waited for her to continue, and she did.
"It was Snoke."
His body froze beneath her touch and she waited for him to say something. But he didn't.
"I was there again, in the Throne room. And I, I saw you..." Her voice choked up at the images again.
He cradled the back of her head as she fell back against his chest, trying to stop the tears. She heard him sniff, and felt his hand move to wipe at his face. She sat up slowly, his hand moving to slide around her waist, and she wiped his tears away.
"I could feel your pain," he said after a while. He looked down at her with a solemn expression as another tear fell. "He tortured you and I did nothing. Please forgive me, Rey."
"You can't change the past, Ben." When he looked away from her guiltily, she placed her palm against his cheek, so he faced her. "You can only move forward. You've atoned for what you did. There's nothing to forgive." She darted out her thumb to brush away another tear. "You're here now, that's what matters. Just don't... Don't leave me," she whispered.
He stared at her, bewildered at her words. An emotion hidden beneath his eyes, and through the bond she could only describe it as... Love.
"I'm not going anywhere."
Ben Solo was understanding.