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Jaskier is happy for Yen and Geralt after everything. Together with Ciri they brought peace to the land and finally made their relationship work after much hardships. It is a hard won decision, but Geralt, tired of all the fighting, decides agrees to take a break from being a witcher and just retire for a while with Yennefer by his side exploring and enjoying their new relationship.
The plan for their retirement doesn’t involve Jaskier and he doesn’t ask to accompany them. This is the ending of their story and he was never a protagonist. Side characters have no role in the happily ever after and he came to terms with a long time ago. All of them walk together side by side not quite ready yet to say their goodbyes. In his heart he knows it will be the last time they’re together like this, but he refuses to say the words out loud clinging to the hope that he will see them all again. The immortals by his side don’t notice the inner conflict, he hides with song and laughter.
First to go is Ciri, who has become like a daughter to him over the years even if the sentiment isn’t quite shared. To her, he ponders, he must be more like a fun uncle she can turn to when she needs a break from Geralt and Yen. He gladly gives her everything she needs and asks for and is so proud of the strong woman he helped raise. When she depards, eager to find her own place in the world, she leaves them alone in a clearing far enough from Kaer Morhen for Yen to use her portals.
Who would’ve thought the witch would grew on him so much over the years. A deep and chaotic friendship connects them now and knowing she finally found the love she's been looking for all her life fills him with joy. The jealousy he used to feel towards her seems an eternity away. She deserves all the love she’s getting and gives so much back in return. Thanks to her hardly a day goes by without Geralt smiling and even with his smiles mostly directed at Ciri and Yen, Jaskier can't find it in his heart to be discontent.
Geralt, grown so very soft compared to their beginning, initiates a hug and Jaskier allows himself to indulge in a fantasy of what could've been and never was. He imagines a life full of secret glances and stolen touches, whispered confessions over the campfire and a warm bed to return to. He imagines Geralt turning his embrace into a passionate kiss asking him to run away with him somewhere far away and then he lets go.
"See you around, Geralt." He says with a smile as Yen leaves with him through a portal and he is left alone on the clearing.
Tears he held back for weeks flow freely down his cheeks now that there is no one is see and Jaskier takes his time to collect himself again before starting his journey again. It's nearly dusk already and he should start putting it all into song. Audiences love a good happy end.
His bones ache.
***
Time passes and the story of the witcher, the mage and the lioness becomes a legend, told and sung about far and wide. Jaskier has spend his last active years as a bard spinning them into an epic tale immortalising them for all generations to come. He can’t stand the thought of the world forgetting the trio and their deeds.
Yen and Geralt have all but disappeared from the face of the earth, but Ciri keeps up with him those first few year through letters and visits. She is a busy woman however and with time their contacts becomes few and far between until they cease completely around the time Jaskier decides to move to the coast to live out the last of his years.
He doesn't blame her. She, like her parents, wasn't made for a mortal life and why would you count the decades if you'll live for centuries. By the time they will think of him again, he can only hope his songs will be enough for them to remember him by.
Living by the sea is all that he thought it would be. He loves the unpredictable beauty of the ocean, the stormy winds and the salty air. The people are rough but merry and welcome the old rich professor from the big city with open arms, even though he’s grown completely useless over the years. His time as a bard is long since over and neither his hands nor his voice allow him to create the music he prides himself in anymore. All he has left are the stories of his youth, that he gladly shares with everyone in town.
One late spring day a big commotion is running through the little coastal town. A witcher has arrived and everyone is excited. They heard the heroic songs and stories about witchers and want to catch glimpse of the living legend. As the oldest in town and the only one who has any experiences with magic folk the townspeople steal him out of his cozy home and bring him out to talk and negotiate with the witcher.
He sees Geralt standing in the middle of the market square surrounded by curious and excited people of all ages, who dare not approach him just yet except for a couple of children held back by their parents. He is scowling. Of course he is scowling , Jaskier thinks as his heart begins to soar again. He tries telling himself that he is far too old for such silly romantic feelings, but he knows that him giving up on romance is just as likely as Geralt giving up on scowling.
The witcher has obviously been in a fight. His clothes are torn and there are bite and scratch marks all over his body. The people must’ve told Geralt to wait for him before talking to anyone because as he arrives inside the circle Geralt immediately faces him clearly annoyed at the whole procedure and asks
"You're the elder here?"
Jaskier nods dumbfounded. For once in his life he does not quite know what to say as he tries to keep the tears from falling. Geralt clearly doesn't recognize him as old and wrinkled as he is and Jaskier isn’t sure if he wants him to or not. Age has always been a bit of a sore spot considering the ageless company he liked to keep. In his youth he tried everything to look as young as possible but not even the best moisturizer in the world could help him now, he thinks slightly bitter as Geralt continues.
"Finished the job. I want my coin and place to stay for the night."
The job? Jaskier is momentarily baffled. As far as he knows there were no monsters around except for the couple of teenage mermaid messing with the fishermen for the last couple of weeks but surely they couldn't have banged up Geralt this badly.
"With the job you mean the mermaids?" He asks carefully trying to keep his voice steady.
"Hmm" Geralt grunts as eloquent as ever and Jaskier loses it and starts laughing. Decades later and Geralt still thinks "hmm" is a good enough answer to give. Decades later and Jaskier still understands him perfectly. He loves this beautiful idiot so much it hurts.
The way to the square and seeing Geralt again has tired Jaskier out and he needs to sit down. Thankfully someone in the crowd already brought a chair expecting him to need a rest after this encounter and guides him gently to sit down. Jaskier would've thanked the man if it weren’t for the fact that he's still wheezing thinking about Geralt's most recent heroic fight.
"You got beat up by a bunch of teenagers? How out of shape are you? You know you were just supposed to scare them a bit, right?" Jaskier manages to spit out in between his giggles.
"Now listen here, old man. You don't-" Geralt starts through gritted teeth, unamused, only to be interrupted by Jaskier's continuous laughter.
"Old man? Really, Geralt. We both know you're much older than me in age and in spirit."
Jaskier can see Geralt freeze up, confusion and dread slowly overtaking his expression but he continues talking unperturbed. Let Geralt figure it out for himself
"Seriously though you must've really let you go in your retirement. Yen's magic made you lazy didn't it? Please don't tell me you're hiding a potbelly unter all those armor. No, no Yen wouldn't let you get one, I'm sure, but for you to lose your touch so completely. You must admit this is pretty hilarious."
Tears have filled Jaskier’s eyes and he tries to wipe them away struggling to keep his laughter under control. Meanwhile, Geralt stumbles a bit, so out of place for the normally unfaced witcher. His eyes have grown wide in shock and his face pale. It's proof enough for Jaskier that Geralt really didn’t realise how much time has passed between them and he feels lighter, relieved knowing Geralt hasn’t meant to forget about him for so many years. Who is he to judge Geralt for getting caught in the storm of love, when he’s standing here before him looking so vulnerable and scared all of a sudden.
"J-Jaskier?" Geralt stutters in a fragile whisper and Jaskier's heart clenches in his chest. Seeing him like this is hurting the witcher and there’s nothing he can do about except for making light of the situation and smiling through it just like in the good old days.
"Took you long enough, old friend. I was already scared you might've gotten forgetful in your old age." He teases and notices the murmurs and stares of the bystanders all around them. In a dramatic motion he raises his hands and tries to shoo everyone away.
"All of you scram. Shoo! Let me catch up with Geralt in peace. Satisfy your curiosity tomorrow after the poor man had a proper bath. And you," He faces Geralt again and waves him over. "Come here and help me up, will you. You can stay at my place for the night. Melitele knows I could use the company."
Oh, he shouldn’t have said that, Jaskier notes grimly as Geralt winces slightly at his words. He promises to be better and make this visit count. It’s unlikely that he’ll have another chance to be with Geralt like this and tainting their last time together with thoughtless remarks and accusation just would not do. He wants his love to have some good memories when he thinks of this in the future.
Almost mechanically Geralt obeys and ,unnoticed by anyone but him, hesitates only for a second before helping him him up.
"My house is not far but this might take a while. I'm not as fast on my feet as I used to be. But then neither are you it seems." He says with a laugh gesturing at Geralt's torn clothes. The only retort he gets is a grumpy growl as he links his arm with the witcher's using him as a crutch and leaning into him just a little bit more than absolutely necessary.
The people scatter around them some slightly disappointed but mostly cheerful. Jaskier knows the town will go and prepare a surprise feast for tomorrow with Geralt as the guest of honor. And Geralt will pretend to hate it as much as he will secretly enjoy all the positive attention he’ll be getting.
They make their way towards his house and it’s once again up to Jaskier to fill the silence. He tells Geralt about the town and its people, acutely aware of the stares Geralt is giving him. It must be hard for the witcher to see him like this all frail and wrinkled.
"I may not have your magical witcher senses but even I can feel your staring, Geralt. What's the matter?" Jaskier asks knowing full well the reason behind his behaviour.
Sometimes Geralt needs to be forced to talk or else his quiet brooding will consume him and every attempt at conversation will be for naught. To Jaskier's surprise however one question is enough to make him talk. Looks like he’s not the only one who changed a bit over the years.
"You look old." Geralt blurts out, making Jaskier raise an eyebrow.
"Yeees, that's because I am old. Very old in fact. Still younger than you of course, but not everyone can be an ageless immortal like you." He responds. Geralt has to do a little better than that.
"No, I mean you look older. You never looked older before. I didn't realise how long it's been. I forgot..."
Regret oozes out of Geralt's words and he doesn't bother hiding it. It reminds Jaskier of his apology after the mountain disaster and he’d much rather not be reminded of that chapter of his life again, so he takes pity on Geralt and continues for him.
"You forgot that I'm just mortal. That I'm ageing like a normal human. I don't blame you, my dear. Back then I was obsessed with looking young and terrified of growing older. Thought you wouldn't want me around if I wasn't uh pretty enough anymore."
Geralt tries to interrupt him, likely for things he already knows or god forbid to apologize again for the mountain incident but Jaskier simply shushes him and keeps going.
"That was a load of horse dung of course. You should've seen me in my sixties, Geralt. I was the most sought after professor in Oxenfurt history. I broke so many hearts in those days."
He sighs dramatically. "I gave the distinguished gentleman look a whole new meaning. Turns out graying hair and a couple of wrinkles just made me look more dashing. Even you wouldn't have been able to resist my charms."
"I'll take your word for it." Geralt answers sounding amused and the thought of Geralt visiting him back in Oxenfurt makes him stumble.
It had been a foolish fantasy of his. He used to imagine Geralt finding him in Oxenfurt during a lecture and suddenly becoming captivated by his new more mature side. After the lecture Geralt would be overcome with passion and drag him into a side corner, kiss him and apologize for how long it took to seek him out again. It would've been worth the wait.
Geralt holds him steady and helps him catch his footing. He is pretty winded after their short walk and needs a moment to catch his breath.
"You don't have to take my word for it. There's a painting of me in Oxenfurt somewhere on the campus. You should check it out next time you're there."
"I will. I promise." Geralt says looking at Jaskier with an honest expression.
He feels heat rising in his cheeks and splutters. "Eh, um right well. Ah, here we are. My house. It's not much but enough for an old man like me. Let's go in."
***
A bath was already waiting for them when they arrived. Marie, his housekeeper, had rushed home as soon as she heard Geralt would be staying with him and made the necessary preparation. He hired her some years back to help him around the house after he broke his leg in a stubborn attempt to do everything himself despite his age. His leg healed but Marie stayed. At least twice a day she comes around to cook him food, take care of the chores and keep him company for a bit.
After Jaskier introduces her to Geralt and thanks her for her efforts she excuses herself to cook dinner leaving both men alone once again only a bath between them. He carefully sits down on the stool next to the bathtub and makes a silent note to give Marie a raise as Geralt undresses and gets in. Sexual pleasure might be beyond him now but her can still appreciate the form and Geralt even after decades of retirement is a sight to behold. He wonders briefly, while admiring the muscles before him, if witchers were even capable of losing their well toned bodies. Imagining Geralt skinny with no muscles or as big and soft man however does nothing to make him look any less appealing in Jaskier's mind and he absentmindedly pours some of Geralt's favourite bath oils into the water.
An old routine is overtaking them and for a moment Jaskier forgets about his aching bones and brittle body. Feeling young again he prepares to help Geralt wash and hums a little melody.
A silly little song he once came up with a couple of years into their friendship. Just the two of them under the night sky, a warm fire illuminating their camp as they had one too many drinks. He was teasing Geralt about something insignificant and Geralt retorted by singing a couple of lines back to him. The alcohol relaxing him enough to smile at Jaskier and with a sudden clarity the bard realised that he wasn't feeling the simple fleeting infatuation he was used to, but something different entirely. Something true and lasting and all consuming. This was the love he sang about in his songs and had yet to fully grasp. This was the kind of love that could push him up to the greatest heights or leave him wanting forevermore. He listened to more of Geralt's tone deaf singing and let himself fall, damn the consequences.
"I missed this" Geralt says relaxing into the bathtub.
You couldn't have missed it that much or you would've come to see me sooner. Jaskier doesn't say, instead he replies with a simple "Me too" and gently pushes Geralt’s head into the water.
"It's a shame you cut your hair though." He continues running his hands through the white hair. "Washing it was always my favourite part."
"I forgot to take care of it and after a while it got all tangled up. Had to cut it in the end." Geralt explains and Jaskier rolls his eyes exasperated.
"I spend so much time and money caring for your luscious white locks and you just forgot. I can't believe it. My poor beautiful white hair. Where was Yen in all of this? I know she knows how to take care of long hair. How could she let this happen?"
Geralt lets out a chuckle that leaves him breathless as he glances at him with an oh so fond smile on his stupidly handsome face.
"She's fine with me as long as I don't smell too badly. You're the only person invested enough in my personal hygiene to help me bathe."
Jaskier, embarrassed, slaps a bunch of soap on Geralt's head as a response and starts massaging it in. Geralt however moves away from his touch and takes Jaskier's hands in his examining them carefully.
"You don't have to do this." Geralt frowns, worry in his eyes. "They must hurt."
"They don't. They're just a bit stiff and hard to move. You won't hear me play the lute anytime soon but this I can still do." He reassures him. Today is one of the good days and meeting Geralt made him feel much more energized than usual. He can barely feel his aching joints and the moment.
"Now turn around like a good boy and let me have my fun." He orders and Geralt obeys with a hmm .
***
After the the bath they treat the worst of Geralt's few remaining wounds and make their way to the kitchen. Marie left their dinner neatly on the table before leaving for the day most likely to help the others out with the preparations for tomorrow.
They eat in comfortable as sun sets through the window illuminating the small room in orange hues. Jaskier doesn't have much of an appetite and leaves his food for later in favour of watching Geralt eat. Neither him nor Yen knew how to cook anything more complicated than plain vegetable soup and from the way Geralt is devouring Marie's cooking they haven't bothered to learn it in his absence either. Idiots,the both of them.
"What are you smiling at?" Geralt asks him noticing him staring.
Jaskier ignores the question and proposes to go outside and watch the sunset instead. A couple of minutes later Geralt finishes eating and helps him around the house to the backyard and onto the bench facing the ocean. He had to be carried for most of the way there, his legs giving out under him at last. It’s been a long and he’s exhausted, only the thought of Geralt finally being at his side again keeping him awake.
Jaskier leans against the other man resting his head on his shoulder and watches the ocean waves move back and forth glistering under setting sun.
This is it, he thinks, this is what pleases me . He had been right all those years ago on the mountain when opened his heart to Geralt and asked him give him a chance to prove himself. A quiet life like this, just the two of them and the sea, would've been enough to calm his yearning heart.
"You're quiet." Geralt remarks, breaking the serene silence.
"Hmm." He teases but Geralt's mind is somewhere else. He seems uneasy, concerned.
"Have you ever been married? Are there any children?" The witcher blurts out blunt as ever-
The questions make him chuckle. "Of course not."
"Why not?" Geralt pushes. "You said you had a lot of admirers back in Oxenfurt. There must’ve been opportunities."
"Certainly." He agrees lightheartedly and pats Geralt's arm. "But how could I marry someone else when my heart already belonged to you. That wouldn't have been fair."
Geralt's face crumbles. "Jaskier, I-"
"Oh don't give me that look, Geralt." He interrupts him. "We both know you're much more observant than people give you credit for and I've never made loving you a secret."
Jaskier takes Geralt's hand in his and places a kiss on his knuckles.
"I never once regretted it. Any of it. So please no more apologies, my love."
"Okay." Geralt whispers and squeezes his hand tightly in response letting silence fall between them once again.
Okay, Jaskier repeats in his mind as he closes his eyes for the last time to the sound of the waves and the wind and Geralt's slow and steady heartbeat. He is happy like this. It's good enough.