Chapter Text
{ hell }
king seokjin
does anyone want to go out for dinner today
i don't feel like cooking
taehyungie
i never say no to free food
king seokjin
bold of you to assume that i'm paying
there's this thing called self sufficiency
taehyungie
pls hyung im a starving hard-working young man
who loves his hyungie <3
kookie
if you fall for that i will literally erase myself from existence
king seokjin
you have no faith in me
but taehyung-ah i'll consider it
taehyungie
yeet
kookie
I-
… can i come too
im a starving college student with an exam tmrw
king seokjin
aish
yea everyone just come and i'll pay
rip to my bank account
hope
see you there :D
babymochi
yayyy favorite hyung !! :))
joonie
thank you, we appreciate it.
i hate it here
i
will be there i suppose
king seokjin
let's meet at the bbq place near my place at 6 ?
kookie
yesssss
hope
okk
well i gotta go choreograph :/
kookie
i've gotta study :(
king seokjin
yes you do that
i will see everyone ?? at 6
{ hell }
taehyungie
jin hyungie ur the best i love you sm pls adopt me
king seokjin
aegyo doesn't work on me
even over text
babymochi
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE MEAL HYUNG ( ＾◡＾)っ ♡
king seokjin
awww jiminie anytime :)
taehyungie
blatant favoritism-
hope
jimin is everyone's favorite
taehyungie
fyi hes blushing
babymochi
I AM NOTKEGJWEJGWE
i hate it here
cute.
joonie
hyung,
i'm laughing.
king seokjin
LMFAOOOOAOOAOAOAO YOONGICHI
btw joonie you can just use lmao or lol…
or even
BAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
joonie
my incoming PHD doesn't allow for that
i hate it here
?¿ yoongichi?
and shit i was not supposed to send that bye
i hate it here has left { hell }
taehyungie
tea
babymochi
?!?! i left for two min what happened
stop being mean to yoongi hyung :(
king seokjin
BEING MEAN PLS WHAT
king seokjin has added i hate it here to { hell }
king seokjin has changed i hate it here 's name to yoongichi
king seokjin
yoongichi i love you <3<3<3
yoongichi
i hate you.
i hate life.
joonie
can i just say that yoongichi is possibly the best nickname i have heard in my 24 years of existence?
taehyungie
agreed!!!!!!!
king seokjin
*pleased noises*
kookie
HELLO??? ARE WE JUST GONNA IGNORE YOONGI HYUNG CALLING JIMIN CUTE?????
babymochi
hey it's hyung to you, brat
kookie
i love how you have nothing else to say
babymochi
i love how you have nothing else to say, HYUNG
kookie
-_-
yoongichi
im unaliving myself
i did no such thing
king seokjin
we all have the receipts
i will happily pull them up for you
yoongichi
hyung pls
king seokjin
fine, anything for you my sweet dumpling yoongichi <3<3
... as long as you buy me ramen next time we go out :)
joonie
[image sent]
oh, wait.
yoongichi
i-
fuck you
taehyungie
fuck in the good way or the bad way
yoongichi
in the bad way obviously ??
babymochi
? what is the bad way
acc what's the good way
hope
uhh lol
kookie
are u srs
joonie
i would argue that fucking me in a sexual manner is inherently bad.
yoongi-hyung, are you trying to start something?
king seokjin
PLS THIS IS SO FUNNY
yoongichi
how the fuck did i get here-
babymochi
ohmygosh yoongi hyung are u in love with namjoon hyung
kookie
ohmygod and they were roommates
king seokjin
why read fanfic when you can get friends to lovers irl
hope
wait
joonie
wait, what?
hope
wait namjoon said that fucking yoongi is bad
DOES THAT MEAN ITS UNREQUITED????
babymochi
wait nooo :(
king seokin
OR MAYBE YOONGI IS BAD AT SEX
yoongichi
excuse me
i'll have you know i'm excellent in bed
king seokjin
can we have proof
kookie
HYUNG NO
NO I DONT WANT PROOF
babymochi
i also dont want proof
but im so happy for you and namjoon hyung !!!!!
yoongichi
… i'll address that in a second but FIRST IM NOT BAD AT SEX
king seokjin
namjoon what's your experience with him?
yoongichi
i HAVENT FUCKED NAMJOON
joonie
that's because you're a bottom, hyung.
i'd be the one fucking you.
yoongichi
1. no
babymochi
OMG TWINSIES YOONG HYUNG
taehyungie
jiminie i think we all knew…
yoongichi
2. NO
king seokjin
things have taken an interesting turn
taehyungie
kookie
i cannot believe im reading this convo rn
i- wait did u just use a meme of yourself
taehyungie
ofc ??
hope
so yoongi hyung is a bottom
who knew
yoongichi
I REFUSE TO COMMENT
king seokjin
has yoongichi ever used all caps before
yoongichi
… im doing this for the sake of my pride but
i am a switch
not a bottom
and i have never engaged in sexual activity with kim namjoon
joonie
ah, hyung, i suppose your past lyricism can attest to that.
"Sending listeners to Hong Kong with my rap, my tongue technology"
yoongichi
oh no
oh NO
king seokjin
YOONGICHI WHAT IS THIS
kookie
MY POOR POOR INNOCENT EYES
hope
NO WAY
DID HE WRITE THIS
babymochi
!!!!
taehyungie
I-
I-
did i just read that
joonie
my favorite lyric written by yoongi hyung :).
you can really feel the depth of emotion contained in those words.
king seokjin
(side note - pls don't put a period after an emoticon for the sake of my mental health)
yoongi-ah i am so proud of you for that lyric
you're my second favorite now
joonie
okay, hyung.
yoongichi
it was the beginning of my career
everyone has a questionable past
king seokjin
ha i dont
kookie
… are u sure abt that hyung
king seokjin
yes im sure if you want to stay my second favorite
kookie
I THOUGHT YOONGI WAS YOUR SECOND FAVORITE
*yoongi-hyung
king seokjin
if you betray me - yes
yoongichi
i have been demoted rip
yoongichi and kookie chat
yoongichi
psssttt kid
kookie
wtf you sound like an old man trying to give me free candy so i can get into his white minivan
yoongichi
alright that was very specific
but
i'll trade you
kookie
ಠ~ಠ trade me what
and for what
yoongichi
i'll buy you lamb skewers everyday for lunch
for a week
kookie
sold
yoongichi
you don't even know what im proposing-
but perfect.
kookie
its LAMB SKEWERS
yoongichi
true
what is the secret you're harboring for jin hyung
kookie
ooh spicy
but i fear my death if i tell u
yoongichi
lamb skewers remember ?
kookie
agh youre right its worth it
okay listen up
so ive known jin-hyung a while and before he was this narcissistic self loving egoist by olivia hye (pls dont tell him i said that) he was a very shy bean
yoongichi
shy?
b e a n ?
kookie
sSHHHHH ill get to that
but i feel like i was jin hyung's savior
yoongichi
what
where is this story going.
kookie
you need to learn to listen, hyung -_-
anyways
jin hyung has unfortunately always been handsome
like
always
idfk genetics or smth
yoongichi
don't curse
kookie
wtf ur not my dad
or jin hyung
let me tell my story
jin hyung was and ig is handsome
and he
obviously attracted a lot of ppl
and when i say a lot, i mean a LOT
yoongichi
didn't he go to an all boys school or smth?
kookie
so?
yoongi hyung, pls respectfully shut up and listen
on valentines day, he got not 1 not 2 but 16 freaking roses
yoongichi
damn
kookie
but hyung was too nice
well
too shy to reject them
so
he said yes
yoongichi
to who
kookie
all of them
yoongichi
WHAT-
kookie
and pls he came home crying to his mom and me about how he didnt know what to do
or say
like full out sobbing and turning red
all that good stuff
and let it be known that i was 12 years old
and ofc i felt bad for my jin hyung so
i went and rejected them all for him
yoongichi
wow
that rly was not what i was expecting at all
kookie
ofc
17 yr old jin hyung is so diff from jin hyung now
but he does not speak of that moment at all
yoongichi
you'd imagine that he cried over guys in a different way
thank u jungkook for that enlightening information
your payment is well deserved
kookie
ofc!
just don't tell jin hyung :)
{ hell }
yoongichi
i come bearing news
i'd like to say
as embarrassing as my lyricism was, at least i didn't cry over not knowing how to reject 16 guys
hope
wat
taehyungie
oddly specific but good for you????
kookie
HYUNG NO
NOOOOO
babymochi
im so confused
king seokjin
WHAT THE FUCK
WHAT
kookie
HOW COUKD YOU DO THIS TO ME HYUNG
I TRUSTED YOU
yoongichi
i never said i wouldn't say anything
king seokjin
EXCUSE ME
TT LEAVE ME ALONE
yoongichi
also both of yall just exposed yourselves
i never said any names .-.
joonie
u couldn't? reject? what?
king seokjin
I WAS 17 TTT
taehyungie
pls a pinch of context
yoongichi
ofc anything for my dongsaeng
[image sent]
[image sent]
here's our convo
hope
BRB DYING
babymochi
aw poor hyung it's okay it took me five years to learn
taehyungie
yea but u learned by 10 ( ¬º-°)¬
kookie
10????
taehyungie
ah long story
short mimi jimin is very cute
*mini
kookie
lol he's still mini
babymochi
imma beat ur ass
kookie
how would you reach lmao
taehyungie
no fighting kids
yoongichi
can we get back to jin hyung and the 16 dudes
king seokjin
nooOOOooooOOoooo
joonie
wait, so are you still dating 16 guys to this day?
yoongichi
did ur dumbass just not read the screenshots
baby jungkook had to save his shy bean ass
taehyungie
stop saying ass im getting horny
hope
you what-
kookie
pls tell me ur joking
taehyungie
;)
babymochi
not to worry!
he's joking.
king seokjin
hey hey hey i've had to save jungkook's sorry ass many many times
so
there
yoongichi
very strong argument
joonie
no, it wasn't, hyung. in fact, it was a very weak argument.
yoongichi
please get some social cues
.
king seokjin
how did this convo even start again
oh right
i hope we haven't forgotten yoongi calling our jiminie cute
babymochi
hyung !!
yoongichi
i give up
it was a hand spasm alright
taehyungie
i meannnnnnn
he wasn't even lying
minnie is very cute
king seokjin
that is indeed a fact
babymochi
(/ω＼)
king seokjin
ah yoongichi how abt we both agree to leave our pasts behind
even if it is very recent past
yoongichi
yes please
hope
and that's how we all made up and fell in love
kookie
hobi hyung what the fuck-
