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Chloe hadn’t slept more than a couple hours since her world was turned upside down by her unconventional partner. She cared so much about Lucifer, but all of that had gone out the window when she found out he really was the devil. The past 3 weeks alone with her daughter had helped calm her mind. Now she was just trying to figure out what to do. She’d hoped learning more about, well, religion in general, at the Vatican would help. However, all it had done was make her more afraid than ever. A priest, Father Kinley, had shown her all kinds of horrible things that her so called partner was responsible for and it left her feeling even more conflicted. She didn’t want to hurt him but he was the DEVIL. The king of hell. He was evil. And he belonged in hell.
Didn’t he?
Wasn’t he?
Her instincts told her otherwise but how could she trust them? They told her Dan was trustworthy and he lied for months. She hadn’t noticed or felt anything off about Pierce either and he turned out to be an immortal crime boss using her for his own gains. Her own gut obviously couldn’t be trusted to tell her who she should trust. Lucifer had been lying for years about who, or rather what, he was, so how could she trust anything about him?
Still, her Dad’s voice was somewhere in the back of her head whispering that he hadn’t actually lied. He’d been telling her he was devil since the day they met. He was angry when people called him evil, was confused by even the smallest shows of affection, and lit up like Christmas tree whenever she wanted to spend time with him outside of work. He brought her perfect coffee every morning and always smiled with delight when she started drinking it. How could the man she knew seemingly so well be as evil as Kinley described?
She was pulled from her never ending thoughts by the sound of a ringing phone, like someone was calling someone else on speakerphone. Frowning, she looked toward Trixe. Her daughter didn’t have her own phone which meant her little monkey a stolen hers off the night stand and was calling someone. She was about to get up and take the phone back when HIS voice filled the small, roman hotel room, making her whole body freeze in place.
“Beatrice?” He sounded a little off, his words were slightly slurred and breathy. “Are you alright child?”
“I had a nightmare.” The girl answered. Chloe frowned, since when did Trixe have nightmares? She had no way of knowing that her daughter had been dealing with nightmares since Malcolm interrupted her life. However, instead of going to her parents like most children, Trixe had gone to Lucifer. The girl knew her parents dealt with a lot and didn’t want to worry them, especially since when she tried to tell her Dad about her bad dreams he told her to grow up and be a big girl. Lucifer made a deal with her that she could call anytime she had a nightmare so long she allowed him to talk about his own nightmares when she did. He found telling the child about his dreams helped her share, and him feel better.
“Ah. I too had a nightmare earlier.” Lucifer responded, his voice evening out.
Chloe heard her daughter shift slightly before her small voice answered. “What was it about?”
“You and your mother actually.” Lucifer’s voice was small and soft. “I went to your home, as I always do. I knocked on the door and when you answered you screamed and ran away from me. I looked down at myself and realized I was, w-well, m-monstrous. The de…your mother came into view, screamed and drew out her weapon. I started begging you both to recognize me but you just kept screaming. Then she…I woke up.” He chose not to include the fact that Chloe had proceeded to shoot him and tell him to stay in hell where he belonged.
Trixe gasped “Lucifer! That’s awful! I promise I would never be scared of you, no matter how you looked.” She paused for a long moment. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Of course Beatrice.” He answered seriously.
“I know you’re really the Devil. Maze showed me her scary face on Halloween. It was so cool! So I mean it when I say I promise never to be afraid of you, Lucifer.”
Chloe felt even more conflicted. How could she hurt someone who her daughter accepted to easily? Lucifer, to her surprise, sniffled. His voice was shaky and thick with emotion when he spoke.
“Thank You, Beatrice. I hope you know I will always be there for you, even if your mother chooses to banish me from her life.”
“Why would mommy do that? She loves you!”
“Never mind that Child. What did you dream of Urchin?” Lucifer redirected, hoping he wouldn’t have to explain. To his relief she started talking about her dream.
“I was at school and we went to the gym. This man was there and he had mommy. You came to get her but h-he shot mommy, then he shot you. I was crying and. Praying for help but no one came. Then the man come forward and it was Daddy and he took me away.” Trixe paused, taking a deep a breath to try and stop herself from crying. “I-I couldn’t get away from him this time…” She trailed off. Chloe had no idea Dan was abusive toward Trixe. She knew he had anger issues, especially when he drank, but he’d promised never to drink around their daughter. Had he lied about that too? And why hadn’t Lucifer told her about it? Her face was twisted in rage and horror as she listened to Lucifer’s gentle voice.
“Oh Beatrice.” Lucifer sighed. “Are you certain you don’t want me to have a discussion with your father?”
The girl sniffled a little bit, making both adult hearts break a little. “No. It hasn’t happened in a long time. Besides, then Mom would find out and she’d be mad at both of us. Can I still come your house if he gets mean?” She whispered, keeping to herself that thanks to Maze she could defend herself and get away from him now. Lucifer sighed softly.
“Of course, Beatrice. Would you like a song or a story, this time?” Chloe’s face softened when she realized he was going to put her daughter to sleep and the realization he must have done so before.
“A Song. The one you sang before, the one your mom used to sing to you.” After Trixie’s request Lucifer instructed her to get ready to sleep. There was some movement before she declared she was ready. Once she had, Lucifer began to sing. The song was like nothing Chloe had ever heard before. It was a sung in a language that was completely otherworldly, and the melody itself was unlike anything she’d ever heard. It was like listening to someone sing in every language at once all while he played the piano in way that was so ethereal it seemed to make her soul tremble. It was so beautiful it brought tears to her eyes as she listened, her father’s voice whispering about the music of the heavens. After a few minutes Lucifer stopped singing, satisfied that the girl a fallen back to sleep
“Sleep well, little star.” He whispered, “I’ll be here if you have another nightmare.”
The room grew quiet. And Chloe, after another couple minutes, turned on her side and sobbed. She was a fool. Yes, he was the devil. But he was also an angel. The guilt was overwhelming. She didn’t know how she had so easily forgotten everything he’d done for her, how much he cared about her daughter, and everything else she had come to see in him.
“Beatrice? Child are you alright?”
Lucifer’s voice cut through her sorrow, making her jump. Another thing she didn’t know about the deal her daughter made with the devil was that he didn’t hang up after Trixe fell back asleep, just muted himself so he could make sure she didn’t have any other nightmares. There was a moment where Chloe wanted to pretend she wasn’t there but it quickly passed as she slipped out of her bed and grabbed the cell phone off of her daughter’s pillow.
“Hi Lucifer.”
“D-Detective?”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for running away. I’m sorry I forgot just how wonderful you are. I’m sorry I made you feel like a monster. I’m so sorry Lucifer. I’m so sorry.” She let it all out at once, more tears following as curled up in bed with the phone against her ear, Lucifer’s soft velvet voice filling her senses.
“Please don’t feel guilty, Chloe. I couldn’t bear it. I understand, well, I didn’t at first. But Dr. Linda reminded me that I had just turned your world on end as well as your understanding of myself. And that I shouldn’t make any judgements about your feelings until I speak to you. She also happened to remind me that I ran away from you enough times, it’s only fair you do the same.” Lucifer rambled on.
“It’s just…you make me vulnerable Detective so when you left…it was all too much. I-I know I’m monstrous, you don’t need to feel guilty for that o-or for anything really.” Chloe cut him off.
“Yes, I do.” She took a deep shuddering breathe before she whispered, “I forgot how much you love my daughter, how passionate you are about justice, and all the ways you saved me, even from myself. I forgot how wonderful, thoughtful, and kind you can be, as well as how you frustrate and annoy me just to take my mind off of work. I’m guilty because even though I said you weren’t the Devil to me, I made you feel like a monster, which you are not, no matter how you look. I’m guilty because the moment I really knew you, after suspecting for years, I forgot just how much I love you.”
“Chloe..” Her name was a prayer on his lips and he was overcome with the urge to go to her and never leave her side again. He didn’t even try to fight it.
A gust of wind blew Chloe’s hair as she waited for Lucifer to say more. He must hate her. He was vulnerable to her and she ran. He must hate her so much. The guilt became overwhelming and another sob worked it’s way into her throat.
“I love you too.”
It took her a moment to realize it didn’t come from the phone. He was standing at the end of the bed, looking throughly disheveled, in just a pair of black silk pajama pants. His curls were everywhere and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days, with purple bags under his eyes and no make-up. But his eyes were bright and soft and his smile was warm and small. She was in his arms in an instant. He was surprised for a moment before he buried his nose in her hair and embraced her as tightly she was embracing him.
After hour spent talking, they fell asleep together just like that. Chloe holding him tightly, nose pressed into his chest and Lucifer surrounding her, holding her in his arms.
And in his wings.