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Keigo sighs heavily, staring at the pile of plates stacked up in the sink. He raises a hand to his face and rubs a finger over his stubble.
It’s 7 PM and he had classes since the very morning. All he wanted to do, after coming back home, was eat and take a nap before getting to his assignments. Not deal with a kitchen full of mess. Count on Shigaraki to always make his life a little more exciting. Keigo has been actually wondering where most of the plates and mugs have gone but he figured out that maybe Shigaraki got desperate and sold them to buy new games.
Turns out he was wrong. Unfortunately.
Keigo closes his eyes, already feeling the signs of a headache building up at the back of his head.
“The rent is cheap,” he murmurs to himself. That’s the thing he needs to remember every time he regrets living here.
Don’t get him wrong, it doesn’t happen often. He got lucky, renting a room with only one other person for so little, in a place very close to his university and with neighbours that aren’t bothersome. Even Shigaraki isn’t that bad. Living together for almost a year has created some sort of a bond between them. They don’t hate each other and occasionally will play a game or two on Shigaraki’s console. They aren’t friends but nor are they complete strangers.
Shigaraki barely comes out of his room, rarely invites people over and doesn’t bother Keigo. He’s a perfect flatmate aside from this one particular flaw that gets under Keigo’s skin like nothing else. Simply put, Shigaraki hates cleaning up. He keeps mess around himself and spreads it throughout the whole flat every time he steps out of his room. He hoards dirty plates and clothes, not very inclined to deal with them unless they take up too much of his space.
Apparently, this happened today. The saddest part of it? It’s one thing to take those things out of his room and another is dealing with them. Shigaraki may not wash the dishes unless Keigo forces him to do it. Which is troublesome, but has already happened countless times. Shigaraki will grumble a bit under his breath and scratch at his skin before finally making an effort.
Keigo blinks his eyes open and frowns. God, the things that were left on the plates make the kitchen reek.
With resigned steps, he goes into the hallway and seeing the door to Shigaraki’s room being ajar, he pushes it forward.
“Shigaraki, how many times do I–“
His hand freezes mid-air and his eyes land on a very naked man splayed out on the edge of Shigaraki’s bed. Shigaraki’s a bit lower, kneeling between his legs.
Keigo’s mouth falls open and he lets out a strangled sound in the exact moment the guy looks up at him, shock replacing pleasure on his face. They stare at each other for a good minute. The guy’s lips part on a gasp. Only then does Keigo register the slurping noises coming from between his legs. His gaze briefly slides down just to see Shigaraki bobbing his head rhythmically as if he didn’t care that they aren’t alone anymore. Maybe he doesn’t.
It only takes a few more seconds for Keigo’s brain to fully catch on the situation and he bolts out of the room, slamming the door behind himself. He leans against it, his skin flushed in embarrassment. “Don’t leave your fucking door open!” he yells weakly and bangs his fist against the door for emphasis. “And wash the damn dishes,” he adds, quieter.
The rent is cheap, he reminds himself as he stomps away towards his room.
***
8 AM classes should not exist, that’s the conclusion Keigo reaches every single time he needs to get ready for one. He stayed up late last night, writing an essay he kept putting off until the last moment and now he can barely keep his eyes open.
He yawns profoundly and sits down by the table, with his tea and a piece of toast. He checks the news on his phone and replies to Rumi’s message. She’s skipping the first class.
He’s biting down on his toast, already tasting strawberry jam on his tongue when he hears footsteps getting closer to the kitchen. He frowns and glances at the time.
“What on earth has made you get up this early?” he asks when he hears Shigaraki come inside. He doesn’t look up from his phone.
“Morning shift.”
Keigo stills. It’s not Shigaraki’s voice.
His gaze shoots up and he nearly drops his toast. Fiddling with their kettle is none other than the guy from a few days ago. He’s half-naked this time, lazily scratching over his stomach when he’s waiting for the water to boil.
Keigo swallows.
“It’s you,” he says dumbly. For the record, he’s not sure what else he could say that wouldn’t be you’re the dude my flatmate was sucking off.
Shigaraki hasn’t apologised for causing Keigo distress and they didn’t mention the incident, but it’s not like Keigo could easily forget that.
The guy chuckles and turns his head enough to shoot him a glance. He looks like he hasn’t slept in ages.
“Takami, right?” he asks, his tone light. He’s preparing coffee for himself and Keigo notices the way he moves around the kitchen as though it wasn’t his first time being here.
Keigo raises one of his eyebrows.
“I’m Dabi. We haven’t met properly last time,” the guy continues cheekily, pouring hot water into his mug. He grabs it and, in a few swift steps, comes up to the table. He sits across from Keigo, unbothered.
The last time. God, he doesn’t want to remember that. It’s definitely in the top ten most mortifying moments of his life. He can’t believe Dabi can joke about it when they’re strangers.
“How come I haven’t seen you before?” Keigo asks. “And please, call me Keigo, I’ve already seen you naked,” he adds with a bitter twist to his mouth.
Dabi looks up at him, amusement flickering in his eyes. “Thanks, Keigo. I usually slip in and out,” he says and lets out a rather ugly snort. It takes a moment for Keigo to understand the implications of this joke.
What is this guy, twelve?
“Not very funny,” Keigo replies.
“Then why are you smiling?” Dabi teases and starts blowing air over his coffee.
Keigo bites down on his lower lip, painfully so. He hasn’t even realised that he started grinning.
“I usually come over when you’re not around,” Dabi explains after a few beats of silence. He takes a sip of his drink.
“Then why are you here now?” Keigo asks boldly before he can stop himself. Dabi doesn’t look offended, though and sends him a small, sheepish smile. It makes his tired face look softer.
“Accidentally fell asleep, sue me,” he says, running his fingers through his hair. Keigo eyes the movement sceptically. He only makes it messier.
He lets his eyes travel further down, to Dabi’s exposed chest. He’s pale in almost the same sickly way as Shigaraki, but there are light freckles scattered over his skin. He’s got a tattoo here and there alongside bite marks and purplish scars. He’s bony and Keigo thinks that one of the reasons why is because he’s drinking coffee for breakfast. In a way, he seems fragile.
His attention snaps back to Dabi’s face. Underneath the layers of tiredness, Keigo sees that he’s rather handsome. He’s got nose and lip piercings. There’s even one in each of his cheeks, right where dimples usually are.
“It’s not nice to stare, you know,” Dabi says, his bored gaze meeting Keigo’s.
“Sorry,” Keigo mutters and looks to the side. “Are you his boyfriend?” he asks, his tone dismissive. As far as he knows, Shigaraki has always been married to his games, but it’s not like he’s ever asked.
Dabi snorts. “Tomura and a boyfriend?” He shakes his head, his finger tracing the rim of his mug. “We just fuck.” He shrugs.
Keigo is surprised by his honesty, but he figures out that it’s better than beating around the bush.
“I see,” he lets out and his eyes lock with Dabi’s again. They let the quiet fall over them comfortably.
Keigo finishes his breakfast, bids Dabi goodbye and leaves for his class.
There’s nothing remarkable about this encounter and he goes on with his life. His thoughts linger on this brief conversation more than he’d like but he doesn’t ponder over it too much.
***
It starts off subtly, Keigo doesn’t even notice it at first. The additional pair of shoes on the shoe-rack, them running out of coffee despite the fact neither he nor Shigaraki drink it very often. Shigaraki having two toothbrushes by the sink. Black hair in the shower. The signs that Dabi spends time with Shigaraki are obvious and Keigo can’t believe how he hadn’t noticed anything earlier.
Sometimes, when he’s cooped up in his room, he can hear footsteps in the hallway, so unlike Shigaraki’s or noises coming out of his flatmate’s bedroom. He doesn’t have to see Dabi to know he’s around.
He’s not entirely sure whether it all has been obvious from the start or Dabi’s just stopped sneaking in and out after they met. He said that he’d come over when Keigo was absent so what’s changed?
He tries not to dwell on it, it’s not his business and the guy is just a stranger. He couldn’t care less. He reminds himself about it each time an irrational part of him wants to step out of his room whenever he sees a shadow outside.
Just so he could catch a glimpse of Dabi walking by.
***
Nearly two weeks pass before Keigo runs into Dabi again.
Literally runs into him.
He opens the door to the flat and takes a quick step inside, colliding with something hard. He shrieks and stumbles back.
“Oh, sorry. I was just leaving,” someone says, voice smooth and close to his ear. Keigo glances up and sees the light from the stairway reflecting in Dabi’s eyes, turning them a bit green. There’s a lazy grin stretching Dabi’s reddened lips and when Keigo’s gaze briefly falls to his neck, he sees fresh hickeys.
He scowls.
“Shigaraki must be really hungry,” he deadpans and Dabi snorts when he realises what Keigo’s been eyeing.
“I like it rough,” he replies and winks, brushing past Keigo.
Keigo follows him with his gaze and when Dabi steps on the first stair, he says, “Let me guess, night shift?”
Dabi pauses with his hand on the railing. He gives Keigo an amused look over his shoulder. “Beggars can’t be choosers.” He shrugs. “See ya.” He nods at Keigo and with one last twitch of lips, he’s walking down the stairs.
Keigo doesn’t step into the flat until Dabi’s completely out of sight.
***
“Hey, why’s Dabi been coming over this often?” he asks one evening when both he and Shigaraki are in the kitchen. Keigo is munching on his apple whilst Shigaraki is stirring his instant noodles by the counter. He stills upon hearing the question.
“You’ve met?”
“Yeah. Twice,” Keigo mumbles offhandedly and bites into his apple. The juice drips down his fingers and chin. He hurries to lick it off.
“Sorry if he’s been bothering you,” Shigaraki says, scratching at the side of his neck. He does it whenever he’s anxious or worked up. “His flatmates… they had a problem with me being over.” He looks over his shoulder at Keigo and there’s something dreadful in his eyes. “Do you mind?” he draws out.
Keigo stops, his tongue stuck out. He blinks a few times and then tilts his head to the side.
“Why would I?” he asks, letting out a nervous chuckle. Shigaraki’s gaze is unnerving.
He turns back to his noodles and Keigo lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“Some people have issues with two guys,” Shigaraki says, his tone quiet but deliberate. “And you, uh… saw us,” he adds with a tinge of embarrassment audible in his voice. It’s the first time he’s even acknowledging Keigo walking in on him and Dabi.
“Because you didn’t close the door,” Keigo reminds him before remembering what they’ve been talking about. He clears his throat. “I don’t understand why I’d be bothered by you two?” he says sceptically.
Shigaraki turns around once again, his eyes wide open. Keigo stares at him with the same amount of dramatics before he understands what Shigaraki’s trying to get across.
“You think I’m straight?” Keigo asks, puzzled by the mere implication.
Shigaraki straightens up awkwardly and bites down on his lower lip.
“We’ve been living for so long and yet… you wound me,” Keigo teases, putting his hand to his heart.
He could understand Shigaraki not knowing about his sexuality but come on, Keigo is pretty sure he’s done his testosterone shots a couple of times when Shigaraki was around. Did he think that Keigo was sticking a needle into his thigh for fun?
Shigaraki sends his way a bemused look. He forgets sometimes that they don’t share the same sense of humour. His fault. He rolls his eyes and sighs. “The only problem I have with that is that I had to see you giving him head. I was simply wondering because I didn’t even know he existed before that.”
Shigaraki scrutinises him for a few seconds, his eyes narrowed, before he nods to himself, as if he’s decided Keigo isn’t there to attack or judge him.
Really, how this guy has been managing to share a flat with someone when he can’t even trust Keigo over something like this, is surreal.
“He comes and goes. His flatmates are one reason. I don’t actually care why he’s been here more often as long as he does his job,” Shigaraki says dryly and grabs his noodles.
Keigo physically cringes.
“His job?” he asks, his face scrunched up. “What the fuck, Shigaraki,” he whispers under his breath, his voice filled with emotion.
He only gets a dismissive shrug in reply before his flatmate leaves.
He probably won’t see the bowl Shigaraki has just taken with himself for another month or two.
***
Dabi sure comes and goes as he pleases, but given Keigo’s hectic schedule, they don’t really run into each other again. It shouldn’t irritate him as much as it does, but the mere knowledge that Dabi stops by their flat, but he misses him time and time again is annoying. He doesn’t dwell on the fact as to why.
They’ve met twice and both of those times weren’t anything special, but for some reason, there’s this bizarre itching under his skin that wants to spend more time around the guy. Maybe it’s the easy way they spoke to each other despite being strangers or maybe it’s something else, completely unnamed. Keigo feels drawn to Dabi. He tries to shove it down but it’s a futile effort.
It’s not rare for him to find himself entranced by someone straight away, but he can see why it may be a problem in this case.
***
“Why is it so fucking cold here?”
Keigo perks up at the sound of Dabi’s voice and turns his head. His hair is dishevelled, the bags under his eyes prominent and he’s once again half-naked.
Keigo has been lazing around on the couch in the living room, wasting his day off in the best way possible by playing games on his phone. He could have stayed in his room, but when he heard Dabi’s husky voice in the hallway, his brain jumped at the occasion of possibly seeing him later and told him to get out. After all, Dabi would have crossed the living room on his way out.
It’s been almost a month since they’ve seen each other. September has passed in the blink of an eye. Dabi hasn’t changed much, but there’s still a novelty to seeing him here. Keigo clears his throat.
“The heating isn’t on yet,” he says, his gaze following Dabi walk over to the couch. He shifts slightly when Dabi sits down. “You should wear clothes,” he adds and looks away when their eyes meet.
“Where’s the fun in it?” Dabi asks teasingly. “Look, I’m wearing pants.”
Keigo quirks up an eyebrow at him, his gaze jumping to Dabi’s sweatpants. His eyes proceed to slide up his body then, pausing briefly on his naked chest before moving up to his face.
“Let’s hope you don’t go out like this,” Keigo says dryly even though he can feel himself becoming flustered under Dabi’s watchful stare.
“For the record, I’d have worn a shirt but I’m waiting for the shower,” he says, his tone cheeky.
Keigo frowns. “You can’t do it together?”
Dabi’s mouth twists. “I’m not showering with him.” Keigo rolls his eyes and goes back to his game. He doesn’t even un-pause, hoping that the conversation isn’t over. He knows there’s a limited amount of time; that Dabi will stay as long as Shigaraki is in the shower and Keigo would like to use it as much as possible. “Haven’t seen you in a while,” Dabi muses out loud.
Keigo bites on his lower lip and looks back towards him. Now as he thinks about it, Dabi’s freckles seem lighter.
“It’s not like you saw me a whole lot before,” Keigo says. He doesn’t know how long his and Shigaraki’s affair has been going on for, but he’s still surprised that he hasn’t noticed anything earlier.
“Oh, but that’s because I’d specifically come when Tomura said you weren’t at home,” Dabi replies, wiggling his eyebrows.
Keigo looks at him for a long moment, trying to read him. He’s not sure what exactly Dabi is implying.
“You’re weird,” he deadpans eventually. Instead of getting offended, Dabi barks out a laugh, his eyes crinkling up with mirth.
“It’s not like I’ve been coming here to see you, but I figured out that since everything was in the open, I’d come in whenever and expected to bump into you once or twice,” Dabi explains. “I didn’t mean to sound weird. I’m just surprised you’re never here.”
Oh. Right. Well. It’s not like he thought Dabi started coming over more often to see him. He’s here for one thing only. And apparently, it’s Shigaraki’s inexplicable skills in bed.
“Bad timing, I guess,” Keigo says, shrugging one shoulder.
“You’re fun to talk to. Tomura doesn’t give me that kind of stimulation.”
Keigo’s brows furrow. “Shouldn’t the other kind of stimulation be enough?”
Dabi opens his mouth to say something, but a loud noise from the hallway interrupts him.
Then Shigaraki’s scratchy voice echoes in the flat, “Don’t use up all hot water.” He doesn’t add anything more and quickly disappears in his room.
Dabi sends Keigo a sheepish smile. “My cue to go,” he says and gets up.
Keigo stops himself from scowling and lets his eyes wander over the expanse of Dabi’s back until he’s gone.
He sighs and shakes his head, realising only now how warm he feels, from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. No trace of the coldness that Dabi’s mentioned.
***
There’s a shift. Unnoticeable at first, but after almost three weeks, Keigo can’t stay oblivious to it. Dabi starts lingering after he and Shigaraki are done. Keigo will hear him pad over to the kitchen or the living room, but it takes a while until the sound of the front door closing can be heard.
He doesn’t know if it happens always even when he’s not at home, but the new pattern is undoubtedly there. A bit rough around the edges, but apparent.
Soon enough, Keigo starts leaving his room each time Dabi stays longer.
It may be curiosity or something entirely else that makes him abandon his unfinished essays and Rumi’s texts with no response for the chance of spending a few minutes with Dabi.
He hopes that it comes off as casual, the way he will walk into the kitchen and start preparing a cup of tea despite having some back in his room or how he will plop on the couch when Dabi is watching cartoons in the living room.
The mornings are different from the afternoons. They talk less when the world around has just started waking up, letting comfortable silence surround them and fill the gaps the words cannot. The afternoons are lively, lazy teasing and fluttering pulse when Dabi moves too close.
The evenings are few and far between, but it’s then when something unspoken passes in the way their eyes meet.
It doesn’t happen every day and Keigo can’t be sure how long it’ll go on for, but he can’t help enjoying this weird companionship they share.
Dabi still stays a mystery but less so when Keigo learns that he’d tried to sneak a stray cat into his flat during last winter or that he hates fish. Or that Shigaraki always beats his ass in any kind of game so Dabi doesn’t even bother trying anymore. He’s less intimidating after he says that the autumn bellflowers on his ribs symbolise his mom or when he shows Keigo that he’s got his favourite anime character tattooed on his forearm.
Talking with him feels good, unhurried. Keigo’s nervousness quickly dissipates when he realises that Dabi laughs at terrible puns and despite the cool vibes he gives off, he can be a bit lame.
He can’t help but wonder how exactly he and Shigaraki started off their… thing. So he asks him one time.
Dabi shrugs, scooping a bit of yoghurt with his spoon. “We met at a party. Fucked. Kept fucking,” he says. “We’re both uninterested in relationships so it works.”
One of Keigo’s legs is bouncing when he speaks again. “So you’re not a relationship type?”
Dabi lets out a non-committal sound. “Too much effort and problems. People are exhausting.”
“I see,” Keigo draws out, his tone absent. He sends Dabi a self-deprecating smile. “I don’t think I could do what you’re doing. I catch feelings too fast.”
Dabi ruffles his hair, his pretty eyes watching Keigo carefully. “You don’t catch feelings if you’re doing it with no strings attached. People will often start getting to know their fuckbuddies, make it deep. I don’t.” He shrugs and looks off to the side.
Well, there is some truth to it, but given that Keigo is being all buddy-buddy with his flatmate’s friend-with-benefits, he’s pretty certain he can’t be no strings attached with anyone.
Something knocks against his ankle and he looks up just to see Dabi grinning at him. “But I get it, not everyone can do it. For me, it’s easier. Doesn’t have to be this way for you.”
Keigo chuckles and kicks him back. Yeah, maybe.
As he’s mulling Dabi’s words over, a thought pops up in his mind.
“What if you met someone who isn’t exhausting?” Logistically, sometimes love, or something close to it, shows up in the least expected moment. Dabi can’t really control the universe.
Dabi hums.
“I don’t think I’d do anything about it,” he replies, the words rolling off his tongue easily.
***
They’re casually watching the news after Dabi’s joined Keigo in the living room when Dabi pokes him in the side, bringing Keigo’s attention to himself.
“Why do you never ask me about my scars?”
Keigo blinks at Dabi slowly. Dabi’s watching him, his eyes narrowed and posture a bit tense. Keigo hasn’t expected this question, hasn’t thought that it’d be something Dabi is curious about. Maybe he didn’t see it coming because this matter hasn’t crossed his mind for longer than a few seconds before.
He clears his throat. “Do you want me to ask you about them?”
Of course, they’re noticeable just as Dabi’s piercings and tattoos are but while these modifications can be talked about, Keigo considers scars something private. Something he doesn’t want to force out of Dabi just because he’s nosy.
Dabi stares at him for longer than it feels comfortable and that’s an answer enough for Keigo.
“It’s usually the first thing people ask about,” Dabi eventually says and shrugs nonchalantly.
“I’m not going to ask you about something you don’t want to talk about,” Keigo replies before he can think his response through. By saying this, he’s letting Dabi know that in the time they’ve known each other, no matter how limited it’s been, Keigo’s learned bits and pieces about Dabi. That he can read him to some extent.
Dabi would have mentioned his scars earlier if it was something he was open about. But if he’s more straightforward about his sex life than this, Keigo can easily decide that this knowledge is something that Dabi would rather keep to himself.
Keigo’s more interested in finding out other things about Dabi than trying to pry away something this delicate from him.
Besides, they’re only a bit more than strangers. They haven’t even exchanged phone numbers.
“Look who’s weird now,” Dabi says, his voice tinted with amusement.
Keigo smirks under his nose and shakes his head.
“It’s still you.”
***
Staring at the ceiling in his bedroom, Keigo thinks bitterly that Britney was right, his loneliness is killing him. It’s been months since he’s been on a real date. It’s been even longer since his last relationship. It’s not that he’d have trouble finding someone that could go out with him, it’s just that the mere prospect seems so bland. He’s tired of the never-ending circle of meeting someone, getting to know them just to be disappointed, He just wants to–
He wants to connect with someone. He wants someone to know him better than he knows himself. But people never do.
And he’s fully aware that romantic love is not an answer. It’s not something that will make him happy, make him whole or erase his problems but he craves intimacy.
He–
A doorbell rings throughout the flat, making him sit up and push those thoughts to the side.
He pads to the door, wondering who it could be and feels himself go wide-eyed when he’s met by the sight of Dabi on the other side. He gulps, growing hopeful despite his better judgement. Dabi never comes over when Shigaraki’s not around.
Dabi quirks the corners of his lips up and nods at him in greeting.
“What are you doing here?” Keigo asks, letting him inside. His heart beats faster than five minutes ago.
Dabi steps into the living room and throws himself at the couch. He doesn’t wait for permission to turn the TV on.
“Tomura’s running late. He told me to wait up for him here,” Dabi explains, making himself comfortable on the couch.
Oh, right. That makes sense. There’s no other reason for Dabi to show up unannounced. They spend time together after Dabi’s done with Shigaraki. And only then.
Keigo purses his lips together and closes the door, feeling stupid all of a sudden.
“Wanna hang out until he’s here?” Dabi asks him just as Keigo’s on the way out of the living room.
Keigo stops in his tracks and turns his head to see Dabi already watching him back, invitation painted all over his features.
Keigo sighs, squashing down all his unnecessary feelings and says, “Sure,” before he’s sitting down next to Dabi.
It’s then that he realises his own foolish feelings may be a bigger problem than he’s thought before. Because for a moment there, he wanted Dabi to be his answer. Even if he knows that Dabi’s the farthest thing from it.
***
It’s like this; Dabi will come to Shigaraki and Keigo will pretend he doesn’t hear anything. Afterwards, Dabi will seek him out. Keigo won’t ask questions but his eyes will linger on the marks Shigaraki has left for a few seconds too long. He will swallow the bitterness that comes with the sight and offer Dabi some tea with an easy smile tugging at his lips.
Dabi will shake his head, look at Keigo with sparks in his eyes and ask for coffee instead.
***
Dabi makes pancakes for him one morning.
Coming into the kitchen to smell of actual food is unusual in this flat. Especially so early. Shigaraki’s never up before noon and Keigo makes do with his two pieces of toast every morning. That’s why he takes a double take when he notices two plates stacked up with pancakes and Dabi working his magic off to the side.
Keigo feels his mouth watering.
“What’s this?” he asks dumbly, making Dabi yelp in surprise.
Dabi cranes his neck and grins at him over his shoulder before going back to pouring batter over the pan.
“Figured out that’s the least I can do for taking up your space,” he says. “And I don’t have a morning shift today so we can have actual breakfast.”
Keigo’s eyes trace Dabi’s movements and he’s glad that Dabi has his back turned to him. His face must look funny with how baffled he is right now.
And perhaps, touched a tad as well.
He sits down by the table and eyes the amount of pancakes Dabi’s put on his plate.
They look fluffy enough and have the right colour.
“I didn’t peg you for someone who knows how to make pancakes.”
Dabi huffs. “Perks of being the oldest sibling,” he says.
Keigo grunts and decides to dig in.
The sound he makes once he tastes the pancake could be mistaken for a moan.
“I think you should compensate for being here more often,” Keigo mumbles, stuffing his mouth with food.
Dabi takes the last of the pancakes off the pan and soon enough, he’s joining Keigo by the table. His share is significantly smaller than what he’s prepared for Keigo but Keigo keeps quiet about it. Dabi’s not much of an eater.
“I didn’t even know we had all the ingredients for pancakes.”
Dabi smirks, twirling his fork in his fingers. “You’d be less surprised if you actually looked into the fridge sometimes,” he says. “You like it?”
Keigo finishes chewing and nods. He meets Dabi’s gaze then and feels himself stop when he realises just how bashful Dabi seems to be in this moment.
Keigo clears his throat, noticing way too late that he hasn’t made himself his morning coffee, too engrossed in Dabi’s food to care.
“You didn’t have to do it,” he says.
They look at each other meaningfully. Something warm passes between them. Something that makes Keigo unable to takes his eyes off Dabi.
It’s Dabi who looks away first, biting on his lip. He’s staring at his plate as he says, “I wanted to.”
***
Keigo notices that Dabi’s wearing his sweater after full ten minutes pass since Dabi has walked into the living room. And then another two additional minutes go by before his brain registers that Dabi’s wearing only his sweater and underwear.
His fingers pause on the screen of his phone and his throat goes dry. He doesn’t care that he’s just been winning an argument over pineapple on pizza with Rumi.
Dabi’s half-sprawled out on the other side of the couch, his feet nearly brushing Keigo’s legs. He’s idly toying with the collar of the sweater all the while intently watching whatever documentary is playing on the TV.
“That’s my sweater,” Keigo blurts out.
Dabi’s gaze immediately moves over to him. His fingers stop tugging at the collar.
“I threw on whatever was in the bathroom,” Dabi says, holding Keigo’s gaze carefully. He tilts his head to the side. “The heating still isn’t on and I felt cold,” he adds, completely ignoring the fact that he’s got no pants on. “Does it bother you?”
It doesn’t and that’s the problem. But Keigo doesn’t say it, fighting off the heat he feels creeping up his neck. He shakes his head, hoping that his eyes don’t linger on Dabi too much.
He pointedly looks away when Dabi shifts and the hem of the sweater rides up, exposing a bit of his stomach.
His next breaths come out harder than usual.
***
The first time he meets Dabi outside of his and Shigaraki’s flat, he’s in a bar with Rumi.
It’s not often when Keigo simply goes out and does nothing. There are plenty of things he needs to prepare for. His classes, tests he has to study for and most of the time, he’s too exhausted to stay out. Rumi likes to complain about it, sometimes to the point when he gives in and goes out with her. And that’s exactly what happened today.
The bar isn’t packed since it’s the middle of the week, but Keigo recognises some faces from the university. It’s the place he and Rumi usually go to, their spot if you may. The drinks are affordable and don’t taste like piss. That’s enough for two university students.
They’re talking about their last assignment, having just ordered their third beer when Rumi looks to the side, her expression bored.
A look passes over her face and she wrinkles her nose, something seemingly catching her eye.
“Hm?”
“This guy looks suspicious. Must be selling drugs or something,” she shout-whispers, meaningfully jerking her head to the right.
“You’re so mean,” Keigo says, but glances over there anyway. His eyes widen and he lets out an unattractive shriek. “The guy with black hair and tattoos?”
She nods. “Drug dealer, right?”
Keigo frowns and looks back at her. “It’s the guy Shigaraki sleeps with,” he says, keeping his tone neutral. As if he didn’t know that Dabi’s favourite colour was blue and that sometimes he couldn’t sleep at night so he’d watch animal documentaries. As if they were complete strangers.
He gulps. In some sense, they are.
Rumi looks towards Dabi again, this time in bafflement. “Figures,” she murmurs under her breath.
Keigo bites on the inside of his cheek and his gaze snaps to Dabi too. All blood drains from his face when Dabi looks back at him. Keigo turns to stare at his beer in an instant.
“He’s coming towards us,” Rumi says in a hushed tone. And now she’s looking away from Dabi too, after judgementally staring at him for a couple of minutes.
At least Keigo’s not the only one that lacks any kind of subtlety.
Once Dabi reaches their table, he clears his throat, making Keigo’s head shoot up.
“Found you,” Dabi says with a tiny smile stretching his lips. Keigo chuckles and fixes his hair.
“What, you’ve been looking for me?” he jokes and winks at him.
The soft glow of the lights makes Dabi look so warm. His eyes are sparkling with something Keigo can’t put a name to. But it makes it really hard to look away.
He squirms in his seat uncomfortably.
“Obviously,” Dabi teases back and shakes his head.
Keigo bats his eyelashes and grins at him. “Missed me? I’m flattered.”
Rumi kicks him under the table and he lets out a whine. Keigo forces himself to take his eyes off Dabi and point at her. “This is my best friend, Rumi. She thinks you’re a drug dealer,” he says, his tone overly sweet and this time, the second kick is well deserved.
Dabi puts a hand over his lips, making Keigo yelp in surprise.
“Shh, not that loud. Can’t have the cops finding out, right?” he asks, peering at him through his eyelashes. He takes his palm away soon after. Like nothing happened. Keigo feels his heart racing. The ghost of Dabi’s touch is still on his face.
“Right,” Keigo lets out awkwardly and takes a too big sip of his beer. He needs a good reason as to why he’s so warm.
Dabi glances briefly over his shoulder and then back at Keigo. “I’ve gotta go but you know…” he trails off.
“Yeah, see you around,” Keigo replies, his voice weak. Dabi nods at him and then joins a group of people that must have been waiting for him.
Not for the first time, Keigo watches him go with a familiar sense of longing nestled up in his chest.
Rumi snaps her fingers in front of his face, bringing him back to the present.
“You said he was Shigaraki’s fuckbuddy. Not that you were into him,” she says, squinting her eyes at him.
Keigo opens his mouth, ready to deny it, but her exasperated gaze shuts him up before he can even utter a word.
“It’s not like that,” he mumbles eventually. “We’re just friends.” He shrugs helplessly and takes another sip of his beer.
At least he hopes that Dabi sees him as a friend.
And if sometimes Keigo wishes they were more, well, that’s his secret to keep.
***
He thinks that Rumi’s seen right through him because they’ve been best friends for a long time and he’s easy to read for her. He doesn’t consider himself to be transparent with his feelings, quite the opposite. He has a tendency to hide them deep within himself.
But, on the off chance that the way he feels about Dabi is obvious, he can only accept it and move on. Even if he has something akin to a crush on Dabi, it doesn’t matter, given Dabi’s attitude towards relationships. Dabi could know about his feelings if they’re painted all over his face but he’s not going to do anything about it and Keigo is… Keigo is okay with that. He prefers this over not being sure. But since Dabi’s made himself clear, he thinks that it’s fine for him to harbour these feelings as long as he doesn’t get stupid ideas. And he won’t.
There’s nothing wrong in having feelings for someone quietly. That way no one’s going to get hurt. As long as Dabi’s not uncomfortable with this, Keigo doesn’t have to be worried about it.
But it’s also got him thinking how their interactions look to other people. They’ve never met outside and Keigo’s never been around Dabi in front of someone else. Shigaraki lets Dabi roam around freely after they’re done with each other and doesn’t bother spending time with them. Keigo’s not even sure he’s aware of their blooming… friendship? He still remembers Shigaraki being caught off guard by Keigo noticing Dabi’s presence. He doubts that Dabi brags about hanging out with him to Shigaraki when they have better things to do.
He decides that talking with Dabi like that, with Rumi right across from him, felt odd. Not bad kind of odd, it was just different from what he’s used to. It was similar to their usual banter but laced with Keigo’s nervousness and his need to impress. And he was way too aware of Rumi watching him.
He finds their relationship intimate and some part of him would like to keep it that way but he’s also itching for a confirmation that what they have is real. And the fact that Dabi approached him while he was out with his friends makes something gooey spread over Keigo’s insides.
But he doesn’t want to make a big deal out of this because Dabi probably doesn’t care that much. So he doesn’t mention it to him the next time they see each other and Dabi doesn’t ask about it.
It’s alright this way.
***
Elizabeth is rejecting Mr Darcy in the rain just as Keigo hears a soft knock at his door. He lets out a small sigh and pauses the movie.
Sometimes it’s easier to go through life but no matter how hard he tries, he still gets hit by his own thoughts and insecurities. Of course, he has good days when it comes to dysphoria. When it doesn’t fuck him up. But on other days, he will wake up and all he’ll want to do is crawl out of his own skin. When it happens, he opts for being cooped up in his bedroom, wearing his worn-out hoodie and watching comfort movies until he gets better.
Today is a hard-to-get-out-of-bed day.
He opens the door, ready to ask Shigaraki if whatever he needs right now can wait until his brain works properly again but stops short when it’s not Shigaraki he sees.
Dabi looks over him, no doubt noticing his crumpled clothes, dishevelled hair and just generally poor state. Keigo would feel self-conscious if his mind wasn’t this detached from what’s around him. But all he can manage right now is a weak smile in Dabi’s direction. His heart might have sped up at the sight but he’s too underwater to feel nervous.
He notices that Dabi’s gaze is questioning, anxious and tilts his head to the side.
“You didn’t come out,” Dabi finally blurts out, averting his gaze.
Oh. That is unexpected. Keigo frowns to himself.
They have this routine but he didn’t think Dabi wanted to see him each time. And now, as he realises it, he doesn’t even remember when was the last time that he stayed in his room when Dabi was over. If that’s the case, maybe he shouldn’t be surprised that Dabi’s knocked at his door.
Keigo simply hasn’t considered that Dabi would particularly care hard enough. Besides, he was too in his head to even grasp that Dabi was in the flat.
He clears his throat, fighting off the warmth he feels all of a sudden.
Dabi catches his gaze again.
“Bad day,” Keigo lets out, his voice sounding foreign to his own ears. Hoarse.
Understanding dawns on Dabi’s face and he takes a step back. Keigo blinks at him in confusion.
“Sorry for bothering you,” Dabi says just as Keigo mumbles, “We can watch something if you want to.”
They freeze and stare at each other. Then, Dabi lets out a chuckle.
“Are you sure?”
Keigo shrugs one of his shoulders and turns around, walking back into his room. He leaves the door open and hears Dabi close it and follow him inside. He makes himself comfortable on the bed and looks up to see Dabi standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
Right, it’s the first time Dabi’s even here. Keigo should feel ashamed for the mess he’s left all over the place and maybe on a normal day he would, but now he only pats the space next to himself.
Dabi sits down next to him. He puts a few centimetres of distance between them but he’s still close enough for Keigo to smell Shigaraki on him. Keigo tells himself that it doesn’t bother him and puts his laptop over their laps.
“It’s pretty far into the movie. If you want I can play it from the beginning,” he says, feeling himself grow tired with each spoken word.
Dabi glances at him and waves him off.
“I know this movie. Just play it,” he replies.
Keigo watches him for a second too long and eventually un-pauses the movie, letting its sounds fill the silence between them.
Keigo doesn’t pay much attention to the rest of the movie as he’s watched it plenty of times before. His eyes keep straying over to Dabi, looking out for his reactions. Noticing tiny shifts on his face as the story progresses further. For Keigo’s clouded mind, it’s fascinating to see that Dabi is affected by what happens on the screen.
“You like romantic movies?” Keigo asks once the credits start rolling. He notices through the blinds on the window that it’s already dark outside. He doesn’t know what prompted him to ask the question.
Dabi bites on his lower lip.
“If they’re well made,” he says, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.
“I wouldn’t expect that from you,” Keigo admits honestly.
Dabi frowns. “Why not?”
Keigo moves his hand vaguely in the air. “You aren’t much of a romantic,” he says.
Dabi shakes his head, huffing out a laugh.
“Just because love isn’t my thing, it doesn’t mean I don’t like stories about it,” he replies, his tone nonchalant.
And it’s true, isn’t it? Just how people don’t have to be superheroes to like movies about them.
Keigo decides not to dwell on it and just accepts Dabi’s words with a curt nod. His gaze moves back to his laptop and his fingers tap an unsteady rhythm over the touchpad.
“Do you want to watch another movie?” he asks and feels Dabi’s stare on the side of his face. He doesn’t look back at him.
“It’s late, I should go,” Dabi says, his voice quiet. Edging on gentle. He’s sat up straighter.
Keigo gulps and mumbles, “You could stay.” He doesn’t tear his eyes off the screen, finding it comforting. He feels numb and anxious at the same time. He needs a grounding point.
Dabi clears his throat. “Okay. If you don’t mind.”
“I don’t.”
“Then I’ll stay,” Dabi says and Keigo feels him settling back against the wall behind them.
And when Dabi falls asleep halfway through the next movie, his head falling to Keigo’s shoulder, all Keigo does is throw a blanket over him and keep watching the movie quietly, not daring to move.
Dabi spends the night with him for the first time.
He’s gone the next morning but the sheets smell like him and when Keigo walks into the kitchen, the cup of coffee waiting for him is still warm.
***
“My friend’s throwing a party. You should come,” Dabi says one afternoon, walking into the living room.
Keigo looks up from the book he’s been reading for class.
“Why?” he asks, puzzled.
Dabi plops down next to him on the couch, his brows furrowed. He grabs the book from Keigo and lets his eyes skim over the text before he huffs and tosses it to the side.
“Why? Why not? We’re friends,” Dabi says matter-of-factly, not realising how that simple sentence makes Keigo speechless for a second. “Besides, I’m supposed to scout as many people as possible. He wants to make it big,” Dabi adds, rolling his eyes in exasperation. It successfully squashes down Keigo’s excitement.
He lets out a chuckle to conceal his bitterness and reaches over Dabi’s lap to retrieve his book.
He realises way too late that by bending like this, his body is pressing up against Dabi. A wave of heat hits him and he swallows harshly when Dabi simply stares at him, assessing.
Keigo doesn’t look up when goes back to his earlier position. He puts the book back in his lap and sorts through its pages. His fingers are trembling ever so slightly.
“When is it?” he asks, his voice coming out high-pitched for no reason. He clears his throat.
“Next Friday. Tomura’s also going so you can tag along with him,” Dabi says, his tone light. But Keigo can still feel his eyes on the side of his face.
And he told himself that no matter what his feelings are, he’s not going to make Dabi uncomfortable, he’s not going to impose on him. So he forces himself to meet his gaze, ignoring his own inner turmoil and puts on a grin.
“Can I bring a friend?” He doubts that Shigaraki would like Keigo to stick to him at a party and he doesn’t like being completely alone when he doesn’t know anyone around.
Dabi shrugs. “Sure, the more the merrier.”
***
Rumi doesn’t ask him questions when he invites her to the party but he can feel that she’s itching to know more. He shut her down each time she tried to touch on the topic of his crush and he knows how it looks like from her perspective. But he’s fine, really.
And when he picks himself his best outfit for the night, he tells himself that it’s for the strangers he may hook up with and not to impress Dabi.
Because Dabi’s his friend, nothing less and nothing more.
***
The party is in full swing when they arrive and for a moment Keigo thinks that he might get lost.
A part of him wants to get lost.
Shigaraki leaves him and Rumi almost instantly and Keigo only exchanges a meaningful look with her before they walk further into the house. They stumble into very drunk and very happy people with each step they take. Keigo feels the music in his bones.
“Dabi’s friend must be loaded! It’s a fucking mansion,” Rumi says, clutching onto his arm.
Keigo chuckles under his breath.
“Are we getting drinks first?” she asks.
Keigo tries to look over the crowd, to find Dabi but he’s nowhere in sight. He won’t be surprised if they don’t actually even see each other tonight.
Shigaraki probably knows where Dabi is.
“Yeah, it’s not like we know anyone here,” he replies, trying not to feel disappointed.
He has no right to feel this way.
***
He’s walking around, a little tipsy and smiling at the strangers who grin at him in return. He’s on his own after Rumi was splashed with someone’s drink and disappeared to the bathroom to at least try and save her shirt.
Keigo doesn’t know where he’s going because, as Rumi’s mentioned earlier, this house is enormous. Good thing that he’s got his phone on himself so she will be able to find him later on.
He leaves the main area, rounds the corner and stops in his tracks when he sees a small group of people chatting against the wall, Dabi amongst them.
He doesn’t hear the music anymore and he doesn’t care about what’s happening around him. For a moment, he just stands there and stares, pathetically thinking god, he’s so beautiful when Dabi takes a sip from his can, exposing his neck.
Dabi’s there with his friends, some of which Keigo recognises as Shigaraki’s buddies. And he looks relaxed. This room isn’t as full with people as the one in which Keigo’s spent the last hour or so and the music here is quieter. Thanks to this, even from where he’s standing at the other side of the room, Keigo can pick out Dabi’s voice whenever he says something to his friends.
He doesn’t want to disturb them and he thinks that he’s sneaky enough not to be noticed but then Dabi catches his eye. A flash of surprise passes across his face before a lazy grin slips on his lips.
Keigo hopes that his own smile is half as confident as he wants it to be.
Dabi beckons him over and despite every cell in his body telling him no, Keigo walks up to Dabi and his group. He notices that Shigaraki isn’t here.
Thankfully, Keigo is social enough that he swiftly gets into the conversation with Dabi’s friends after introducing himself. He jokes with them, compliments their outfits and doesn’t miss the way Dabi’s eyes trace his every movement, making his skin flush. At some point, Dabi presses their shoulders together for a brief second and Keigo feels like he’s been shocked.
He realises that he hasn’t spoken to him directly only when Dabi’s friends leave them alone to refill their drinks.
Keigo bites on his bottom lip. “Not going with them?” he asks.
Dabi inclines his head, his eyes half-lidded. “My can’s still half full,” he replies and shakes it for emphasis. Keigo snorts and pushes him half-heartedly in the shoulder. Letting his touch linger there for a moment too long. Dabi glances at his hand as it drops and then blinks at Keigo. “You look nice.”
Keigo gives Dabi a once-over, ignoring how Dabi’s words make him feel.
“I’ve definitely put more effort than you,” he says as if Dabi’s all-black attire wasn’t attractive to him.
Dabi licks his lips. “Yeah, I can see that,” he mutters, peering at Keigo through his eyelashes. “How come we’ve only run into each other now?”
Keigo pushes his hair back and glances around.
“A whole lot of people here,” he says lamely. He doesn’t tell Dabi that he’s been looking for him ever since he walked in. That the moment he finally noticed him, he felt something squeeze in his chest.
Keigo looks back to him and his breath hitches in his throat.
Dabi’s watching him with something hard to define in his eyes. But it makes Keigo’s skin buzz. He wants to say it’s alcohol but it almost feels like Dabi only sees him. Like he doesn’t really want to be here. They are at a giant party, but for a moment it feels as though they’re back in the kitchen of Keigo’s flat.
He returns the stare, unable to do anything more than that. But a part of him wants to be daring. Wants to check if he’s not only seeing what he wants to see.
The world is quiet around them and he wants to say wanna get out of here? certain that Dabi wouldn’t say no. That Dabi wouldn’t mind hanging out with him for a bit longer.
The words are on the tip of his tongue when someone throws their arm over Dabi’s shoulders, startling both of them. The noise is back and Keigo feels sweaty all of a sudden.
“Wanna get out of here?” Shigaraki mumbles to Dabi, loud enough for Keigo to hear him. Dabi glances at Shigaraki, at his lips and for a moment, Keigo hopes that he will shake him off.
He tastes acid on his tongue as Dabi only nods. When he looks towards Keigo again, there’s no heat in his eyes, no loaded emotion. And Keigo thinks that he must have made up the last few minutes in his head.
Dabi touches his hair, ruffles it with a tad of fondness slipping on his face and murmurs, “Don’t drink too much.”
Keigo stays frozen, watching him go. Struggling to breathe after this quick touch.
They leave and Shigaraki doesn’t even spare him a glance.
He knows that there’s nothing between them, just sex but the fact that Dabi’s chosen this over Keigo still stings. And it’s selfish, he knows that but he can’t control how he feels.
If he could, he wouldn’t have fallen for Dabi in the first place.
***
Keigo goes back to the party, drinks more, finds Rumi making out with some girl in glasses and hooks up with a stranger all the while trying to forget the way Dabi looked at him tonight.
He nearly succeeds.
He stumbles back into the flat in the middle of the night just to find Dabi on the couch in the living room, watching the TV on the lowest volume.
Keigo stops abruptly by the door frame, his mouth parted.
Dabi looks over to him, probably alarmed by the noise Keigo’s just made.
They stare at each other anxiously.
“What are you doing here?” Keigo lets out finally.
The corners of Dabi’s lips twitch.
“Waiting for you,” he whispers.
And Keigo thinks dazedly, that Dabi leaving parties with Shigaraki is okay if it’s Keigo that Dabi’s waiting for.
Coming home to Dabi is enough for him.
***
He meets a girl in a bar while he’s out with his friends from university. They hit it off rather quickly and before he knows it, he’s flirting with her. Keigo knows what they’re doing from the way she looks at him. They end up making out in the corner of the place, obscured by other people around them.
She asks him if he wants to go to her place between one heated kiss and another.
Keigo says yes once he makes sure that she doesn’t mind him being trans, feeling excitement growing in the pit of his stomach.
They spend the night tangled in her sheets and when the morning comes, Keigo wants to ask her for another meeting. Thinks that he could grow to like her. She’s funny, smart and engaging. And their night was great. He’d like to get to know her. Forget about Dabi.
Before he can say anything, though, she suggests that they could hook up from time to time. That as a pre-med student, she doesn’t have time for relationships but she wouldn’t mind meeting up with Keigo for something casual. And Keigo feels himself deflate with each passing second.
He leaves without giving her his phone number.
***
He hasn’t done a walk of shame in a while but he feels pretty good about himself, all things considered.
That is until he steps into the flat and sees Dabi’s shoes by the door. It gets worse when he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, noticing hickeys over his skin, swollen lips and smeared eyeliner over his eyes. He makes a face and groans.
Keigo’s bone-tired and it’s a miracle he’s still standing on his feet after being up for most of the night. If he’s lucky enough, Dabi’s asleep and he won’t see him until after he’s taken a shower. It’s not that he’s ashamed of having sex but he doesn’t really want to be seen by him in this state.
However, he needs caffeine in his system first. That’s why he takes his steps to the kitchen instead of the bathroom, thinking that it’s safe to assume he won’t meet anyone there.
He realises he’s been wrong once he sees a sleepy Dabi, sitting on the counter in his underwear and a thick blanket over his shoulders. Dabi’s cradling a mug in his hands and his gaze slides up to Keigo the moment he walks into the kitchen.
He looks at him for a long moment and then just smirks under his nose before taking a sip of his drink. Staying oddly quiet.
“Fun night?” Keigo asks in lieu of a greeting, padding towards the coffee machine. Dabi’s sitting right next to it but Keigo tries to ignore the lack of distance between them. He doesn’t let his gaze linger on Dabi’s exposed skin.
Dabi huffs. “What about you?” he asks and tugs on Keigo’s collar, making him freeze in place. He moves his fingers over the marks on Keigo’s neck and collarbones, his touch leaving goosebumps over Keigo’s skin in its wake. Keigo lets out a gasp.
He suppresses a shudder when Dabi’s fingernail grazes a particularly sensitive place. His knees nearly give out under him when Dabi pulls him closer and his hip knocks against Dabi’s knee.
“I thought you didn’t do casual,” Dabi says, his eyes moving up to Keigo’s face.
Keigo can’t breathe when Dabi’s mere centimetres from his so he takes a step back, making Dabi take his hand away. His skin is burning from Dabi’s touch and the loss makes him want to get back into his space right away.
He doesn’t listen to it, turning back to preparing coffee for himself instead.
“I’m fine with one night stands,” he explains, his cheeks flushed. “I’m not cut out for what may come after.”
Dabi hums thoughtfully in reply and goes back to quietly sipping on his… tea? Keigo’s only noticed now. Dabi’s declined his every offer of tea before but here he is, drinking it voluntarily.
“Why don’t you just date someone?” Dabi asks out of nowhere after Keigo’s squeezed next to him on the counter with his cup of coffee.
And indeed. Why? Because he’s busy falling in love with a person that will never be his. Because it’d be just cruel to date someone but look forward to seeing Dabi. To prefer him over his imaginary partner.
Dabi must know by now that Keigo has feelings for him. As much as he hates it, at least this fact makes it easier, to be honest. He doesn’t have to come up with stupid excuses.
He can just say, “Feelings don’t work like that,” hoping that Dabi understands.
It could be his way of asking Keigo why don’t you just find someone and leave me alone? but Keigo doesn’t think he’d go this far.
If something was bothering him, he’d say it out loud instead of dancing around this issue.
Dabi shifts slightly and their arms brush. “Is that so,” he muses out loud and doesn’t add anything else.
***
Aside from that one time, they don’t make any extensive breakfast, most of the time opting for coffee instead. But one day, when neither of them is in a hurry, Keigo suggests making scrambled eggs with furikake.
It’s not exactly extensive but requires much more than having some toast with jam.
They bicker quite a lot because as it turns out, neither of them likes being told what to do in the kitchen. They encounter some disputes and Keigo quickly learns that even scrambled eggs can become complicated.
“You have to add more cream,” Dabi says, eyeing the ingredients sceptically.
Keigo huffs but obliges.
They’re halfway through the preparations when another person unexpectedly joins them in the kitchen.
Shigaraki doesn’t grant them with a greeting and goes straight for the coffee machine. He promptly ignores their looks, choosing to stare daggers at the machine as his coffee is being made. He makes a pleased noise when it’s ready and takes a seat by the table. Dabi and Keigo watch this whole ordeal in fascination until Keigo remembers what they’ve been doing.
“Do you want some eggs?” he asks Shigaraki and gets a grunt in return. He takes it as a yes.
He snaps fingers in front of Dabi’s face, making him blink blearily at him.
“More eggs,” Keigo says, gesturing towards the fridge. Dabi huffs but does as he’s told without complaint.
When he’s back with the eggs it feels a little like he’s standing closer to Keigo than before. But it may be just his imagination.
The rest goes smoothly and eventually, all that’s left is stirring the eggs on the pan.
“You’re doing it wrong,” Dabi says. Keigo rolls his eyes and intends to ignore this comment when Dabi moves behind him and covers both of Keigo’s hands – one holding a spatula and the other the handle of the pan – with his own. “Let me show you how it’s done,” he whispers, making Keigo’s head spin.
Dabi begins stirring the eggs using Keigo’s hands while Keigo tries very hard to remember how to breathe.
He would love to take advantage of this situation and let Dabi play with him like this longer but then he catches Shigaraki’s hard stare out of the corner of his eye. He gulps, lets out a nervous laugh and elbows Dabi gently in the stomach. He feels hot all of a sudden.
“I get it now,” he says, looking down at the eggs.
Dabi backs away but stays close to him, keeping his gaze on the side of Keigo’s face.
Being under the scrutiny from both fronts, all Keigo can do is focus on the eggs and ignore the way his skin is tingling from Dabi’s touch.
“I didn’t know you two were close,” Shigaraki says once they’re all seated by the table.
He doesn’t seem angry. There’s a genuine curiosity in his eyes and that’s what scares Keigo the most. He could deal with anger but not with someone trying to look through him.
Mostly because he knows how obvious he is after all.
He swallows and opens his mouth to reply but Dabi beats him to it.
“You would if you left your room sometimes,” he says with a shrug. “We should have prepared some rice,” he adds before digging into his eggs.
Shigaraki looks over to Keigo and inclines his head, his eyes slightly narrowed.
“Three’s a crowd,” he finally says before reaching for his chopsticks.
Keigo visibly deflates when he’s no longer watched.
***
The next time he sees Dabi in public is just as unexpected as the first time it happened. And coincidentally, he’s in the same exact company as then.
Keigo and Rumi have just walked into a convenience store and he’s been talking her ear off about his unreasonable professor when his steps falter upon seeing the cashier. He blinks in surprise, losing his train of thought.
Dabi is wearing the store uniform but the shirt seems slightly too big on him. He’s hunched over the cash register, looking straight ahead with absent eyes. His lips are twisted in a scowl and he doesn’t appear to be very happy. It’s pretty late in the day, Keigo can’t blame him. He’s pretty spent after the whole day of classes himself.
Strangely enough, Keigo still finds himself drawn to him, despite the tiredness painted all over his face. Like a moth to the light.
Rumi waves a hand in front of his face just as Dabi turns his head and inevitably locks his gaze with Keigo’s. A crease of surprise appears between his eyebrows before something entirely else slips on his face and he relaxes.
Keigo sends him a small smile and Dabi nods at him.
There aren’t any other customers in the store, besides them and he may or may not be very tempted to at least try to make Dabi’s shift less dreadful.
In the end, it’s a quick decision for him and Rumi must know what he’s about to do the moment he looks at her pleadingly.
“Would you like to get the things by yourself?” he asks, his tone sweet.
Rumi frowns at him, looks over at Dabi and back to him, her gaze knowing. “You pay,” she only says before she disappears to look for something to drink.
Keigo sighs in relief and, pretending that Dabi hasn’t seen this, walks up to the cash register.
“Hi,” he says, hoping that he doesn’t look too eager.
Dabi smirks at him lazily and leans on his elbows. That way he has to crane his neck slightly to look at Keigo.
“Hello, stranger.”
“You must be new here. I’d have remembered a face like yours,” Keigo purrs and winks at Dabi.
Dabi ducks his head, hiding a ghost of a smile. When he looks up at Keigo again, his eyes are amused.
“They moved me recently. Why? You come here often?” He raises an eyebrow.
Keigo snorts. They’ve really just used two of the cheesiest pick-up lines in less than a minute.
“Yeah, my best friend lives down the street,” he says throwing a glance over his shoulder to check whether Rumi has emerged. He can hear her close but thankfully, she’s nowhere in sight and he still has a few moments with Dabi.
Keigo turns back to Dabi just to catch him watching him. He ignores the way it makes him feel.
“So I guess we will be seeing more of each other now,” Dabi says.
“Right, because we don’t see each other often enough,” Keigo teases back, thinking of how they were watching and making fun of 5 Minute Crafts on his living room couch only two days ago.
“I don’t think we do,” Dabi says, his fingers playing mind-absently with the collar of his shirt.
And Keigo just thinks it’s unfair. He lets himself flirt with Dabi jokingly because he knows it’s not serious but then Dabi will say something that seems off. That gives hope. Hope is dangerous.
He laughs awkwardly, a bit too late.
Dabi looks away and shifts on his feet before straightening up.
“Any fun plans for tonight?” he asks, his fingers tapping on the counter.
Keigo watches him for a second too long when Dabi doesn’t meet his eye.
“A movie night. With the one that’s currently emptying your Schweppes shelf,” he replies. Dabi huffs and glances at Keigo. “What about you?”
Dabi bites on his lower lip and a part of Keigo knows what he’s going to say. But he still wants to hear it.
“I’ll be at yours,” Dabi says vaguely. It’s effective in killing any ember of hope within Keigo, though. “Will you be back by morning?”
Keigo puts his hand on the counter. It’s very close to Dabi’s.
“I should be. But probably too late for you,” he replies sheepishly.
Dabi’s drumming fingers brush against Keigo’s pinky. Don’t touch any further.
It’s enough for Keigo’s heartbeat to pick up.
“Don’t worry, I don’t have any places to be tomorrow. Coffee?” Dabi asks.
Keigo tilts his head, his eyes widening slightly. But he only lets out, “Sure.”
Dabi opens his mouth to say more but gets stopped by Rumi putting their groceries next to their hands. Keigo takes his own away immediately as Dabi hurries to his job.
“If you’re looking for drugs I can sell you some aspirin,” Dabi says, sending a coy look towards Rumi.
She rolls her eyes, packing up the products.
Keigo lets himself look at Dabi, knowing that he will have to leave soon. He looks at him and aches. His fingers twitch at his sides.
“The total is–“
“Not my business,” Rumi replies and elbows Keigo in the ribs, effectively bringing his attention to what’s going on.
He blinks in confusion before his brain catches up with him as two pairs of eyes stare at him expectantly.
He chuckles under his breath and pulls out his wallet.
He doesn’t have to wait long for Rumi’s reaction as she asks him, “You’re so smitten. Are you going to tell him?” as soon as they leave the store.
Keigo simply glances over his shoulder, through the glass door, to find Dabi watching him go.
He turns back to Rumi and says, “I don’t have to.”
Having Dabi know should be mortifying but the lack of reaction is almost soothing. It eases the pain from when he actually lets himself think about his one-sided feelings.
***
Work at the university gets busier but thanks to Keigo coming over to study at Rumi’s, he does end up stopping by the convenience store pretty often. Sometimes he slips in only to say hello but on other occasions, he stays longer. Dabi never tells him off. Quite the opposite, he tries to corrupt Keigo to be late for his study sessions. And just like that, their little world expands. They still meet up at his and Shigaraki’s flat but the moments at the store are allowing them to spend time together under different circumstances.
It means that their friendship isn’t limited to one place only.
***
They talk. They talk so much Keigo finds himself surprised that after all these months they still haven’t run out of topics. They talk about everything; from their pasts, friends to trivial things such as favourite toppings on pizza. And even if there’s a lull in the conversation, it doesn’t feel wrong or uncomfortable.
Keigo doesn’t remember the last time he’s felt this connected with someone; at ease. It might have been Rumi, he supposes but even with her, it’s not always smooth sailing.
Dabi can be abrasive and too smug for his own good but Keigo’s not bothered by it because then, he doesn’t have to pretend to be a goody-two-shoes all the time. It’s amazing to just be, without any expectations. And sure, Keigo should feel the need to impress Dabi because of his feelings but surprisingly enough, it doesn’t happen.
His skin is on fire and his words get messy sometimes, especially when he looks at Dabi too long, but he doesn’t try to be someone else. He lets Dabi see the parts of himself that he usually subdues.
Dabi doesn’t make him feel annoying. He hasn’t since the very beginning. It’s refreshing.
***
“My father gave me these scars,” Dabi murmurs over steaming hot chocolate. It’s nearing 3 AM and the world seems both small and big all at once.
It would be easy to say that they couldn’t fall asleep but that would mean they’ve tried to. They just stuck to each other all throughout the evening and well into the night, restless.
Keigo looks up at him, his hand pausing for a split second mid-stir.
Dabi’s squinting at his mug, the heat high in his cheeks.
“You didn’t have to tell me,” Keigo says eventually. He remembers having a similar conversation with him and just knowing that Dabi didn’t want to talk about it. He hopes that he didn’t make him feel like he owed Keigo something.
One of the corners of Dabi’s lips pulls up and he meets Keigo’s gaze.
“I wanted to,” Dabi says and looks off to the side, his expression thoughtful. “I’m still scared of the fire, you know? Can’t get close to a gas burner to save my life.” He huffs out a snort and shakes his head. He turns back to Keigo.
Keigo doesn’t know what to say or what Dabi expects from him. He’s never been good at offering comfort and he’s pretty sure that’s not why Dabi’s told him his secret.
He has no idea how to act in situations like this.
So he asks, “What do you want?”
Dabi bites on his lip and moves one of his hands to where Keigo’s is resting around his mug. His fingertips brush over Keigo’s knuckles.
Keigo feels himself grow warm. He wants to turn his hand over and touch. He doesn’t.
“Nothing,” he replies simply with a shrug. “I was just checking how hard it’d be to say this to you.”
“And? Was it?” Keigo asks, his eyes following the pattern Dabi’s fingers are drawing on the back of his hand.
“Not at all,” Dabi replies and pulls his hand away, out of reach again.
Keigo looks at him and finds something confusing in his stare. Something unnervingly expectant that makes his skin crawl.
Something that, once again, gives Keigo hope.
And he’d expect to know Dabi or at least some parts of him by now. But he’s only even more puzzled by the way he acts around him or looks at him.
It makes the yearning inside of him run wild.
***
One night, when Dabi walks into the living room and joins Keigo on the couch, they stay up watching some nonsense while fighting about the protagonist long enough to drift off.
Keigo stirs awake sometime in the middle of the night, squinting at the harsh colours of the TV. He grunts and tries to move before he realises that there’s a body plastered to his side. That effectively sobers him up.
Dabi’s sleeping, his head resting on Keigo’s shoulder. Completely unaware of all the emotions that are going through Keigo right now.
His breath hitches in his throat as he tries not to disturb Dabi. He stares at him, for some reason scared. As if transfixed by the sight, he raises his hand and buries his fingers in Dabi’s hair.
He’s holding his breath as he lightly scratches at Dabi’s scalp. His heart flutters when Dabi leans into the touch.
Instinctively, he looks up and freezes.
Shigaraki is standing in the doorway, watching the scene with mild interest. Keigo feels panic rise up in his chest at being caught red-handed but Shigaraki simply walks off after a few seconds.
And in the end, as he tries to compose himself, Keigo’s not sure if he prefers Shigaraki’s passive silence over getting an actual reaction.
***
Living with Shigaraki for over a year has taught Keigo many things; for example, he’s become better at spending time with someone in silence without needing to fill it with chatter. Not to mention the way his gaming skills have increased ever since Shigaraki had first dragged him towards his console.
They may not be best friends but it’s almost impossible to live with another person for so long and not know them in ways other people don’t.
That’s why Keigo knows that despite his cold demeanour, Shigaraki doesn’t hate him. They don’t hang out in typical ways but Shigaraki makes it his objective to bring Keigo to his room once in a while and play some games with him. It’s a quiet affair. Shigaraki will come knocking at his door and then just jerk his head towards his bedroom, letting Keigo know that it’s time.
It’s less quiet when Shigaraki gets into the game but Keigo doesn’t hold it against him.
Personally, he thinks that it’s some sort of bonding activity that Shigaraki has picked for them and it’s… pleasant.
And so they’re currently battling against each other on the screen, lines of focus stretching over their foreheads. They’re both competitive and Shigaraki curses under his breath when Keigo’s character lands a good hit on his avatar.
But he’s composed nevertheless. Only if his loss was a sure thing, would he go a bit overboard.
“You like him, don’t you?”
Keigo’s fingers minutely falter on the controller and it’s enough for Shigaraki to get the upper hand. He smirks under his nose.
He’s not above playing dirty.
Keigo tries to catch up but that beat of hesitation is what makes him lose in the end.
He swallows and glances at Shigaraki, who moves on rather quickly and decides that this round wasn’t the last.
“Who?” Keigo asks, staring at the loading screen.
“Dabi,” Shigaraki replies quietly, his fingers tapping on the controller.
So this is the delayed reaction to what Shigaraki witnessed some time ago. There’s no point in denying it.
“How do you know?” Keigo asks.
Shigaraki perks up when the game has reloaded and nudges him to get into motion. Keigo does but he’s putting minimal effort into it.
“I have eyes,” Shigaraki replies.
Yet another person figuring Keigo out just by looking at him. Dabi would have to be the most oblivious person in the world not to know too.
Keigo lets out a humourless chuckle, jabbing his fingers into the buttons on the controller.
“Are you mad?” he asks.
Shigaraki lets out a confused noise. He tilts his head to the side slightly, letting his hair cover the half of his face.
“Why would I be mad?”
“You sleep with him. I don’t know.” Keigo shrugs. Just because Dabi doesn’t have feelings for Shigaraki it doesn’t mean that Shigaraki doesn’t care.
“We don’t. Not anymore.”
Keigo frowns. That doesn’t make sense. Dabi was here only a couple of days ago. He’s here two or three times a week. And each time he spends quite some time with Shigaraki before he and Keigo hang out.
“What do you mean not anymore?”
Shigaraki sighs in exasperation.
“He asked me to stop a month ago.”
Keigo blinks at him.
“Why?”
“I didn’t ask him.” Shigaraki scrunches his nose up. “It all makes sense now,” he muses out loud and Keigo has a feeling he’s not following.
“But he comes over like every other day,” Keigo says weakly.
“We play games. But I don’t think that’s why he visits us.” Shigaraki looks at him pointedly.
“What do you mean?”
Shigaraki rolls his eyes and turns his focus back to the game. “What I mean is you should ask Dabi why he’s coming over to play video games with me all the time, when he doesn’t even like them that much, just to have an excuse to see you.” He grumbles under his breath and then snaps, “Stop slacking.”
Completely dazed, Keigo turns back to the game. In his stomach, a swarm of butterflies is brought to life.
***
Dabi still comes over like nothing’s changed and he still spends time in Shigaraki’s bedroom. And at first, Keigo has to admit, he thought that Shigaraki might have been pulling a prank on him. That he was cruel just for shit and giggles.
But the thing is, he’s spent enough time with Dabi post-sex that he can see the difference. He’s seen his kiss-swollen lips, glossed over eyes and rosy cheeks. He’s seen his skin covered in bite marks. He’s seen him shamelessly walk around half-naked.
He doesn’t anymore. Dabi’s hair is messy but in the I-styled-it-for-thirty-minutes way and not the someone-pulled-on-it-while-I-gave-them-head way.
Keigo’s actually embarrassed to know all of that.
Dabi doesn’t mention anything of what Shigaraki told him and Keigo doesn’t ask because, well, he doesn’t see the point. A part of him is scared of Dabi’s answer. And of the possibility that Dabi may just stop coming over altogether. So he lets this whole situation play out.
He’s never expected anything from Dabi and he’s not going to now. Especially when he knows that Dabi doesn’t want to give him anything and his intentions have been clear since their first conversation.
Keigo likes their current routine even if it gives him a heartache at times. He likes knowing Dabi so intimately that he could make his coffee in his sleep. Keigo’s content with what they have now and doesn’t let himself think of more.
Shigaraki’s idea of Dabi using him as an excuse to see Keigo seems silly. Unreasonable.
***
Two weeks later and Keigo thinks he’s let it go.
Dabi’s in his bedroom after spending some time with Shigaraki, quietly fiddling with his phone just as Keigo’s finishing up his essay.
Keigo convinces himself that he doesn’t care about Dabi’s side being pressed against him. That he doesn’t lose his focus every few seconds just to sneak a glance at him. That the warmth he feels is from his hoodie and nothing else.
That he doesn’t notice every slight shift when Dabi moves.
He is so not paying attention to Dabi that when Dabi taps him on the knee with his finger, he hardly reacts.
“I called off the thing with Shigaraki.”
Keigo’s fingers hover over his laptop’s keyboard. He looks over to Dabi and blinks at him. Dabi returns his gaze.
He wants to say, I know but settles on, “Why?”
Dabi huffs.
“Don’t tell me you don’t know.”
Something unsaid passes between them.
“I don’t,” Keigo lets out, letting his hands drop onto his laptop.
Dabi rolls his eyes. Keigo realises only now that his finger is still on his knee. Tapping impatiently.
“I’m not good at this,” Dabi admits quietly, letting his gaze fall from Keigo’s face. “You’re into me,” Dabi says after a long stretch of silence and looks up at him again.
Keigo lets out a weak chuckle, feeling like he’s just got the wind knocked out of him. He’s glad he’s sitting. His fingers curl up into fists. He knew that Dabi knew but all this time he wasn’t prepared for this conversation.
He stays quiet, an invisible grip around his throat deeming him unable to speak.
“I swear I’ve been interested in you since we met,” Dabi adds, tilting his head to the side. He stares at Keigo meaningfully. “You have to know about this.” He narrows his eyes. “You knew, right?”
Keigo clears his throat and looks away, Dabi’s gaze being suddenly too heavy.
His heart is fluttering in his chest but he’s still processing what Dabi’s just told him.
Dabi tips his chin with his fingers the longer Keigo doesn’t answer. His touch is burning.
“How was I supposed to know? You made it clear that you weren’t interested and you were sleeping with my flatmate. I was fine with you knowing about my feelings only because you didn’t make a big deal out of it,” Keigo says. “You don’t do relationships. You told me yourself that even if you met someone, you wouldn’t do anything about it.” That’s why this whole conversation is so confusing.
“What if I changed my mind?” Dabi asks, his fingers moving from Keigo’s chin to softly dance across his jaw.
“Dating doesn’t take too much effort anymore?” he asks, feeling his hopes go up all at once. He tries to squash them but it doesn’t work out.
“I want to make an effort. With you,” Dabi murmurs, his voice tight.
“Yeah?” Keigo lets out, still quite not believing what’s happening.
“Yeah.”
Keigo smiles. Dabi’s fingers are trembling slightly on the side of his face. Keigo covers them with his hand and squeezes reassuringly.
He’s just as terrified when he says, “Then stay.”
Dabi only nods in return.
***
So it goes like this; Dabi will come over and they will migrate over to the couch in the living room, doing all and nothing. Sometimes they will cook dinner or bother Shigaraki when he’s at home. Sometimes they will go out and explore the city. Other times they will simply end up in Keigo’s bedroom, their clothes discarded and skins flushed.
And if Dabi stays the night, they will get ready in the morning together. More often than not, Keigo will let his eyes trace the marks he’s left on Dabi’s skin the night before when Dabi won’t be looking.
Keigo won’t ask him if he wants coffee or tea.
He won’t have to.