Chapter Text
Tsukishima didn’t want a kid. Originally. And even though Kuroo never said anything about it, he knew that he did. He could see it every time they visited Bokuto, Akaashi, and their baby. Bokuto was the proudest father ever, constantly showing off his son and praising him for everything from eating his first vegetables to throwing up all over him in a technicolor display. And Kuroo would laugh and say “Glad it wasn’t me!” But Tsukishima could see the longing in his eyes. Could feel the twinge of resentment through their shared connection. He knew Kuroo better than anyone, after all. And even though, when they got in their car to leave at night, Kuroo said “Thank God we can go home and get away from this when we’re done visiting,” he knew it was a lie.
Maybe time and age had changed him. Maybe seeing their closest friends so happy and content in life made him reconsider. Maybe it was these damn hormones from smelling the content coming from Akaashi or even the scent of the baby. Either way, every time they got home, he felt like it was empty. And that emptiness weighed on him.
He knew Kuroo would be a great father. But he wasn’t so sure of himself. What did he have to offer? He wasn’t very maternal or paternal. He wasn’t much of anything, really. He was sarcastic and he loved his banter with Kuroo. He supposed he was affectionate, but only in private with Kuroo. When they were in public he brushed it off which never failed to amuse his mate.
What would they even do with a baby? Their apartment would have to change. They had a two bedroom, sure, but the other room was a home office for Kuroo and doubled as a workspace for himself when he was doing research and grant writing. Should they move to a three bedroom apartment? Could they even afford the cost of that with the addition of needing money for the baby? Besides, he liked their apartment and their neighborhood. And he also liked his quiet. Sure he didn’t like it after visits, but overall the silence suited him, and when it didn’t, he put on his headphones.
And what about work? Would one of them have to give it up? Akaashi was able to work from home for his job. It wouldn’t work for either himself or Kuroo. He worked at the museum and still played for his team, and Kuroo was often on the road. They could put the kid in a day program, but that cost money and just the thought of it didn’t sit right with him. His parents were retired now, but that didn’t mean he could push the kid off on them, right?
It started eating at him. The more he tried to put it off, the more he thought about it. Kuroo noticed, too. They were eating dinner one night and Kuroo had been talking but he was running a budget through his head.
“Kei?”
He glanced up to see the worried look on his mate’s face.
“What?”
“I asked if you were okay.”
He snorted. “Of course I’m okay. Why would you ask that?”
“Because you’ve been spaced out for the last ten minutes? You haven’t heard a word I said.”
“You were talking about work.”
“And then I asked if you wanted to visit your parents this week.”
He flushed. “Sorry. I was trying to figure out a budgeting problem. For the museum.”
Kuroo gave him that shrewd look he always gave someone when he knew they were covering something up. He wasn’t the only one who could read emotions, even if Tsukishima was better. “Having trouble getting a grant through?”
“Well...I mean we still haven’t heard back, but I have to think about what happens if we don’t get the grant.” The more he talked the easier it was to lie. Besides, he had been thinking about budgets. Just…not for work.
“You seem stressed.”
“Yes.”
“Lucky for you I know just how to help you de-stress.”
Tsukishima tilted his head to the side, wondering what Kuroo was up to as he stood, leaving his dinner unfinished.
Before he could ask what he was doing, he was pulled out of his chair and, despite his tall frame, tossed over Kuroo’s broad shoulders. “Tetsu!” he yelped, his head hanging low on Kuroo’s back as he was carried down the hall and into their bedroom. He huffed as he was unceremoniously tossed on the bed where it creaked dangerously. “We didn’t finish dinner!”
“I’ll be eating. You can eat later.” Kuroo licked his lips and pulled his shirt over his head.
Tsukishima’s mouth instantly watered. His mate had broad shoulders and a sculpted chest from years of playing volleyball and still keeping fit despite his job. His chest tapered down to a narrow waist and hips that fit perfectly between Tsukishima’s legs.
He didn’t mean to whine, but he did as just a little slick slipped from his hole. It didn’t happen often when he wasn’t in heat, but then he was rarely this turned on.
“I know something is bothering you, and it’s not work. You can’t hide from me, Kei. I know you better than anyone else.”
“Not better than myself,” he couldn’t help but quip. Kuroo’s response was to tear down his pants and pull him up to tug the shirt over his head.
“Flip. Ass up.”
Tsukishima shivered and did as Kuroo said as he kicked off his own pants. He felt the warmth from Kuroo’s body before he felt the hand slide down his back.
“You look good like this, Kei.” Fingers dug into his hips. The bed dipped as he climbed up behind him. Those hands slid down to his thighs and pushed them further open, exposing him completely. He gasped when fingers rubbed against his rim, spreading the slick. A tongue replaced the fingers and he moaned.
“Taste good, too.”
They were far from the teens they used to be. As they’d gotten older and had more time together, their embarrassment had dropped away. Tsukishima wasn’t afraid to be loud anymore, and Kuroo loved to talk dirty when they fucked. And Tsukishima loved it. The first time Kuroo had let his thoughts slip had been awkward. They are still newer in their relationship and they froze, looked at each other, and laughed. No laughing about it now. Just moans and slaps of skin on skin.
When Kuroo was done and had his fill, fingers replaced his tongue and pressed inside. “Loose already.”
“Hard not to be.”
“I’m going to fuck you until you tell me what’s really going on.”
“Well we‘ll be at this for awhile then because nothing’s wrong. Are you sure you can keep up?”
“You know better than anyone I can go all night.” On that last word he pushed inside and Tsukishima let out a short cry. He muffled it as Kuroo slid home.
He rocked his hips forward a little, pushing Tsukishima into the mattress. Then he positioned his knees better, bracing his thighs against the back of Tsukishima’s, gripped his hips, and fucked him into the mattress.
Tsukishima moaned and cried out whenever he hit his prostate. It didn’t take long for him to come and collapse on the bed. But Kuroo was far from done. His stamina was something to behold and he really wasn’t kidding when he said he could go all night. Of course not being in heat, after a while Tsukishima got too sensitive.
Kuroo let him catch his breath, staying hard inside his body. When he was breathing normally again, Kuroo helped him move onto his back and then resumed his thrusts. Tsukishima wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him down for a sloppy kiss. He wrapped his legs around his waist and dug his nails into his back. Kuroo always loved that, loved being marked whenever they had sex. He tossed his head back and his hips jerked erratically. “Fuck,” he moaned, and then leaned down to bite their mating bond on Tsukishima’s neck.
That area had been sensitive ever since they mated, and as Kuroo continued to bite and suck, he knew it was only a matter of time before he came again.
But he’d be damned if he would come a second time before Kuroo even came once. So he rolled his hips off the bed and met him thrust for thrust. He moaned directly in his ear and Kuroo shivered. And then he said the one thing that never failed to get Kuroo off when they were in heat or rut.
“Breed me.”
Kuroo gasped and slammed home twice more before he was coming and Tsukishima followed after him.
They came down from the high together and Kuroo collapsed on him, pushing him into the mattress. He loved the extra weight. When he pulled out he winced at the fluid between his thighs but couldn’t be bothered to get up. Kuroo tossed a leg over his and pulled him into his arms.
“Want to tell me what’s bothering you now?”
“Too tired.”
“You usually spill secrets when you’re tired.”
“Nice try, Alpha.”
Kuroo growled and bit his mating mark then licked at the oil. “Does it have anything to do with your ‘breed me’ comment?”
Tsukishima tensed for a second and then laughed it off. “I said it to get you excited.”
“Your body doesn’t lie, Kei. I felt you freeze just now. And in the last eight years we’ve been together not once have you said that outside of a heat or rut. What’s going on?” His tone was soft, not accusatory at all, and Tsukishima broke.
“I just...I know how much you want to have kids.”
“Nah, we’re good as we are.”
“If I’m not allowed to lie to you, you’re not allowed to lie to me. You can’t lie to me.” It was his turn to flip the cards. “I know you better than anyone else. I see the way you look at Bokuto and Akaashi’s son. I know you want that for yourself.”
Kuroo was silent for a long time, nuzzling into Tsukishima’s neck and rubbing their glands together, releasing their mixed scent. It was relaxing and released endorphins that made him feel good.
“I know how you feel about having kids. You don’t want to be a carrier parent.”
“That’s…true. I did say that in the past. A lot. But now... when we come home from visiting them, I see the look of disappointment on your face and the apartment just feels so empty. Maybe…maybe it’s time we fill it?”
Kuroo propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at him, his eyebrows narrowed. “You were budgeting to see if we could afford this, weren’t you.”
He smiled faintly. “Guilty.”
“Oh Kei. You don’t have to do this for me. As long as I have you, I’m happy.”
“Maybe I’m not doing it just for you. Tch, your ego is as big as ever. Maybe I’m doing this for us.”
“If we do this, our parents are going to freak out.”
“And Bokuto-san.”
“Especially him. Poor Akaashi. Bokuto is going to want another kid so we have them at the same time.”
Tsukishima chuckled. “I don’t think Akaashi would mind too much.”
“Mm. He gives in too easily to Bokuto.”
“Should we tell them we’re trying?”
“No. I want this between us until we know for sure. I don’t want people harassing you about how it’s going.”
It was a good idea and Tsukishima pulled him down for another kiss. Kuroo really was a good Alpha.
“So...we’re doing this?” Kuroo asked.
“We’re doing this.” Kuroo gathered him in his arms and he could feel his heart racing. “I’ll throw out my suppressants in the morning.”
“When is your next heat?”
“Two months.”
“Kei?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you.”
The next morning Tsukishima stood in the bathroom and looked at his box of suppressants. He’d been taking them consistently since he was sixteen years old. It had become a habit to take one each morning right before brushing his teeth. Now he had to break that habit. He swallowed hard and tossed the box in the trash.
They were going to do this. He was ready.