Chapter Text
The coronation isn’t a grand thing.
With everything that’s happened up to this point, Tommy isn’t up for the nerve-wracking experience of having a good chunk of the kingdom stare at him while he gets a crown put on his head. He insists to Phil that the crown he’s gotten is good enough already, and Phil hardly protests, because to be honest, the coronation isn’t really needed. Most of everyone is convinced of Tommy's royal blood, anyway.
The celebration after, however, is something Tommy cannot stop. Now that is a force to be reckoned with. He gets his few hours of peace, opening up gifts and sitting in his room with his family, then Wilbur suddenly announces that they must go see how the castle is doing, and there’s an evil glint in his eyes that makes Tommy have an ounce of self preservation for once.
He tries to stall. Tries to look through the boxes for any gifts he hasn’t opened. Tries to hold up his new items and ask for his older brothers to appreciate them with him, but it’s all futile. Wilbur hovers by the door, hand on the doorknob, excitement so present that Tommy wouldn’t be surprised if he just exploded into pieces with it.
Technoblade eventually goes to stand with him, anticipation on his shoulders, too. Phil is the only one who’s patient enough to sit by Tommy for all of eternity, but he’s no match for two twins on a mission.
Tommy gets pulled over to the doorway with some (a lot) of complaint, and when he’s finally dragged out into the hall, he falters with the sight of flowers scattered all around. Bouquets upon bouquets, roses upon roses, and Tommy steps carefully, then he swings a foot through a pile of petals and tries to kick them up into Wil’s face.
He fails, of course. The petals just float up a couple inches, then flutter back down, but Wil sees what he’s doing, and both him and Techno immediately team up to start shoving petals down Tommy’s shirt. Tommy screams like he’s getting murdered, and Phil is barely able to stop them in time.
To which they all then turn on Phil collectively, Tommy having only been used as bait, and by the time they’re walking out of the hall, through the castle, Phil’s still shaking petals out of his sleeves.
The celebrations kick off with a bang, (an actual bang, Wilbur somehow arranged for explosives to be used, and Tommy did not go unimpressed by the sparkly colors of gunpowder and fire. Phil was slightly concerned by the proximity of it all) and they roll on with the noise of music and the constant greetings of what feels like each and every single person in the castle. Tommy shakes hands and nods his head and gives smiles, and when the food does get rolled out, he’s relieved to finally have a reason to not be swarmed.
He sits, he eats, he plots nefarious crimes over the table by sharing several secret looks with Tubbo across from him, who then shares looks with Ranboo, who is entirely out of the loop and looks at them both like they’ve lost their minds. Tubbo raises his eyebrows with pursed lips. Tommy squints his eyes with a scrunch of his nose. Ranboo nervously devours a bread roll to distract from their stares.
Slowly, bit by bit, Tommy formulates a plan. The best plan. The greatest plans of all the plans that have ever planned, probably. Tubbo nods in agreement with this plan of epic proportions, and Tommy nods back. Then they both nod at Ranboo, who is just going along with this at this point and nodding too, while cradling a bowl of more bread rolls.
The conversation at the table isn’t terribly distracting, but everyone’s so caught up in the music and food and the bustling company that it’s easy enough for Tommy to just kinda- slide down in his chair. He slides, and slides, and slides a little more, then he slips underneath the tablecloth and meets Tubbo there.
He leans forward, the table a bit dim under here. “Are we on the same page here?”
Tubbo gives a thumbs up. “Probably!” Then he turns around and grabs at Ranboo’s ankle, practically dragging him into the depths of underneath the table. Someone probably notices the way Ranboo just gets dragged under with his bowl of breadrolls. They don’t say anything, though.
“Alright, Ranboo, time to shine.” Tubbo whispers, clapping his hands together and ignoring how Ranboo is still sprawled out on the floor.
“What are we doing?” Ranboo sits up, and hits his head on the table. The thunk makes Phil turn his head, and he at first brushes it off, then realizes Tommy’s missing, and proceeds to lean over to Wilbur and ask where exactly their prince has gone. Wilbur has a few spare seconds of confusion, then sheer exasperated panic. Techno steals his plate while he isn’t looking.
“Escaping, come on.” Tommy huffs, helping Ranboo to lean down further so he doesn’t bang his skull into the wood again. “We’re going on an adventure.”
“Have we not had enough adventure for our lifetimes?”
“This is a different type of adventure. It’s a secret adventure. Low risk, high reward.” Tubbo insists. “No one will even notice we’re gone!”
Meanwhile, Niki has begun looking around and sharing an expression with Phil that can only be described as the “oh no” face. Wilbur is trying to get the music to stop playing. Techno is still eating everything off his plate.
“ You teleport us out of here, we go sneak off to our town, explore, explore, explore, use my royal privilege to get free things, then we come back and we are all set.” Tommy explains, having totally thought this through.
“I really don’t feel as if using my teleportation is a secure mode of transportation-”
“Oh, hey, I found them.” Technoblade suddenly cuts in, lifting up the tablecloth to poke his head under and investigate where the hushed conversation was coming from. All three teens look at Techno with varying degrees of panic, then both Tubbo and Tommy latch onto Ranboo’s arms, and they all disappear in a flurry of particles. “Aaand, I lost them.”
They only teleport outside into the hall, a couple feet in the air. They land roughly, with noises of complaint and pain, and the door slams open with people calling their names. Tommy frantically drags Ranboo onto his feet, who then drags Tubbo onto his feet, and they all stumble into a run, then fall again into a pile of limbs.
“Teleport again, teleport again!” Tubbo yells, clinging onto Ranboo’s back, while Tommy yells out behind them that they’re gonna go for a little walk, don’t mind them-
They disappear into another burst of particles. They wind up in other halls. Ranboo lays facedown on the ground for a long minute, and Tommy wonders if he should’ve considered his poor memory of the layout of the castle before attempting to find a way out.
“If we just keep going right, then we’ll get there.” Tommy declares confidently.
“We’re going to end up going in circles.”
“We’ll get there.”
They don’t get there. They don’t go anywhere, because Ranboo is still dying on the ground, and Tommy is reevaluating his approach here. Maybe they should ask for directions.
The castle goes into a makeshift game of hide and seek, with Tubbo and Tommy dragging around Ranboo and finding hiding spots whenever someone comes around, and everybody frantically trying to figure out where the literal guest of honor has gone off to.
At some point, Phil comes down the hall, alone and calling out for Tommy. Tommy sees him, in all his kingly fatherly glory, and he makes the only reasonable option and proceeds to take him as a hostage. He clings onto Phil with his wings flapping out to give him a jump, and Phil shrieks with his sudden appearance, clinging back when he realizes it’s just his newest child who has self-preservation issues.
“You should take us to the town.” Tommy suggests. “Because it’s my birthday, and I’m the prince, and we have to go there or Ranboo is going to die-”
“Is he okay-?” Phil tries to ask, pointing at how Ranboo is leaning heavily onto Tubbo, using his head as an armrest.
“I’m so peachy.” Ranboo reassures. Tubbo shakes his head, mouthing ‘he’s not peachy.’
“The town!” Tommy reminds. “We’ve got to go!”
“How about we go back to not give Wilbur a heart attack over his party planning going to waste, and I take you to your town later?” Phil suggests, and Tommy groans, complains, weeps, falls to the floor like he’s been wounded and abandoned and left for dead. “I’ll take you when it’s later, when there’s less people to swarm you. I’ll buy you whatever you guys want, take you wherever you want to go.”
“We’re being bribed.” Tubbo informs Tommy. He’s informing it in a way that implies the bribing is effective.
“Maybe.” Phil doesn’t deny it. Tommy doesn’t mind, really. “Come on. Back to the party.”
Tommy lifts his head and shares a look with Tubbo. Tubbo gives a grave nod. Ranboo nods too, but he’s not a part of this nodding communication. Phil’s staring at their nods with slight concern.
“Okay.” Tommy agrees, getting up and letting Phil lead them along. The moment Phil goes to walk forward, they all sprint the opposite direction, with the intentions of stealing a horse and riding all the way down to town.