Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

It’s a chilly October afternoon when Yang Jeongin decides it’s time for a change . 

Not a huge change, of course. It’s early in the academic year; the semester has only just started. Too much change right at the beginning of the year would be drastic, and Jeongin isn’t really one for drastic changes. 

Because it’s September, the world around Jeongin is changing; with every blink and every breath the world differentiates and changes and prepares for winter. 

Blink. A leaf falls from a tree, spinning and fluttering until it’s laying on the floor, browned and crispened from dehydration and lack of sunlight. 

Blink . A child jumps into a pile of freshly collected leaves in a nearby park, disturbing the peaceful gathering of fallen soldiers and sending them into a flurry of warm colours that crunch beneath her wellingtons. 

Blink. A squirrel in another tree scurries along a branch, adding another acorn to their stockpile that will keep them alive through the winter, and above it, a flock of birds take flight, soaring into a coordinated V shape in the sky as they travel south to a warmer climate. 

Blink and you, too, are changed.

Yes, changes are happening all around Jeongin, and whilst he adores idly watching them take place every autumn, preferably with a hazelnut hot chocolate on hand whilst wrapped up in a warm scarf and gloves, this year he wants to be a part of the ever-changing world, too. 

Autumn is a time for transformation, and Jeongin wants to transform with it. 

If there was one word Jeongin could describe his behaviour as, it would be… safe. He always played things safe; hardly ever takes risks. In some ways, this was definitely rewarding: his straight A’s in every class could hardly be argued with, and nor could his student references from past teachers that had sweet-talked his employers into easily hiring him for his part-time jobs. 

However, his reputation as boring and bland kind of… bothers him. 

He’s okay, really! He knows that he has a good amount of friends that love him fiercely, and whom he loves back just as much. And now that he’s in his third year of college, he’s come to realise that the mocking jabs from his highschool “friends” were all just results of internalised jealousy and outlets of built-up insecurities that they would project onto him. He knows his worth now, and he knows he’s not boring just because he’d rather stay inside and study than go out and party. 

In the long run, he knows that he will most likely end up even more successful than his party-animal friends, as long as his studying pays off, but even so, words stick with you no matter the amount of reassurance and self-love you grow into. And there’s always been a tiny, teeny, niggling voice in the back of Jeongin’s mind reminding him of the way intelligence often comes with side-labels and sour implications. 

Swot, boffin, geek. Singular, monosyllabic words that were small enough to be shoved right down Jeongin’s throat for years of his time at highschool. Small enough that they were bite-sized, and didn’t affect him at the time, but once inside of him they swelled and swelled until sometimes, he feels like he’s choking on every letter.

He could take risks, he could ! He’s interesting as hell and has definitely gotten away with way more arson than anybody else he’s acquainted with (which definitely offsets the labels he’s gained throughout life, but nobody but himself and his close friends know about that -- and he never plans on making the fact well-known), and he shouldn’t -- doesn’t -- need to prove anything to anyone . 

Anyone, except perhaps himself. 

And it’s not like he’s going to make any drastic changes, or anything. He’d just like to switch things up, just a little. He’d love to get out more , so to say, and let go of his fear of failure in his studies. He knows that he’s smart; a few nights out aren’t going to kill him. 

Jeongin would also like to find love someday. But he understands that love isn’t something you can just go out and find; you have to let it happen naturally, so he files that thought away for another day. 

The wind picks up around him, and the cold blast ruffles Jeongin’s hair, messing it up, as if mother nature herself had run her fingers through the dyed red locks. A student around Jeongin’s age flies past on his skateboard; the autumn sun glinting off his leather jacket as he propels himself along the pavement on the worn board, oblivious to the world around him. Jeongin watches and shakes his head as he feels the phantom breeze he left behind rush past him just a few seconds after the boy, and watches as he skates away into the distance, and wonders how it feels to be so free.

The least thing Jeongin can do is simply go out tonight. And so he plans to do just that.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

The apartment is loud, and when Jeongin steps into the building the next evening he swears he can feel the vibrations of pulsating music in the air; the tunes already loud in his ears and he’s not even inside yet. 

It doesn’t take even half a brain to figure out which door he needs to enter - it’s already hanging open and lights, as well as people, are spilling in and out of the apartment door, and Jeongin already feels intense sympathy for their surrounding neighbours, who will decidedly not be getting any sleep tonight at all. At least it’s a Saturday. 

I’ll definitely need a drink to get through this, Jeongin thinks - and whilst it would be much wiser to turn heel and leave the mess of bodies and music that’s so loud it’s making his teeth vibrate - he ignores the tiny voice telling him to escape; pushes it to the back of his mind and instead he shoulders through the throngs of people and heads straight into the kitchen, where he rightly assumes the alcohol will be hiding. 

His assumption is correct, and the kitchen is trashed already; empty, dented beer cans have been discarded everywhere but the trash can provided whilst the microwave door hangs open with a questionable liquid dripping from the inside. Several cupboard doors hang open too, revealing evidence that drunk students have already hit the hungry stage of drunkenness and have raided the food supplies, leaving open boxes of cereal tipped over onto countertops, turning soggy as more drinks get spilt and discarded.

Shaking his head at the mess, Jeongin walks to the bucket of bottles and cans sitting in half-melted ice in the middle of the room and chooses a bottle at random, wincing when he sees the alcohol percentage displayed there in black font. Deciding to dilute it with something non-alcoholic, he grabs a red solo cup and adds equal parts alcohol to lemonade: he’d rather not get so drunk that he’ll do something he’ll regret later. He’s seen the mortifying aftereffects of alcohol on his friends, and he’d rather not give them blackmail material to use against him, although he does have a collection of his own to use on them when the opportunity arises. 

Wincing at the wet sounds of a couple heatedly making out across the kitchen from him, Jeongin tosses back half of his cup - wincing again at the slightly bitter burn of it - before refilling it and walking out of the room, rejoining the masses and trying to weave his way around the tidal wave of people moving about to the music, and as the buzz of alcohol finally begins to hit him, Jeongin realises that maybe this isn’t so bad after all. 

“Jeongin, hey!” Felix jumps into Jeongin’s line of vision out of absolutely nowhere, and Jeongin yelps, jumping so hard that some of his drink sloshes out of its red confines and splatters onto the floor. Felix laughs loudly over the music, utterly gone under the influence of bitter yet enticing alcohol, and throws his arms above his head, the tiny gems stuck under his eyes glittering in the cheap disco light someone has generously provided. 

“Hey, Felix.”

“I’ve never -- never seen you at a party before, Innie!” Felix sings, leaning in close to be heard. “It’s a great change to see you here!”  

Jeongin’s heart warms. “Thanks, Lix. It’s very… new.”

“Come say hi to everyone!” 

Jeongin allows himself to be pulled by the warm weight of Felix’s fingers tight around his wrist, through couples and groups and individuals, to the opposite end of the room where some - thankfully - more familiar faces are gathered, albeit among some less familiar too. 

“Everyone! Innie came!” Felix cheers, stumbling a little but catching himself, much to Jeongin’s relief, and holding the younger’s hand in the air like a trophy. The air fills with a chorus of cheers and raised solo cups as everybody turns to greet him, and Jeongin feels warm inside. Welcomed. Loved , even. Knowing that his mere presence provides such joy, even to a group of drunk university students, some of which have likely never seen him before… it’s a lovely feeling, and it spreads evenly throughout his body from his chest to his fingertips.

Scanning the group, he finds a couple of familiar faces: Chan is here, and Felix, obviously. A few less familiar, but still friendly faces linger too: he recognises two guys as Yoshi and Yedam, and another two named Yeosang and Joshua. The other few faces are lost on him, but they look friendly either way, their eyes glinting with fun in the dim lighting.

“It’s good to see you here, man!” Chan cheers, pulling Jeongin into a hug none-too-gently. He feels his hair being ruffled, and his ribs hurt slightly from the force of Chan’s embrace, but he blames the alcohol for making his friend forget how damn strong he is. “Are you having fun?”

“I think so,” Jeongin yells, feeling his throat itch at the sheer volume he has to reach to be heard. “I only just got here.” It’s silly, but he feels like if he were to stand on his tiptoes, it would somehow make his voice even louder. He doesn’t try it, but it doesn’t stop a tiny part of him wanting to do so. 

“Ah, you missed the fight then?”

Jeongin startles. “Fight?” he must have misheard.

“Yeah, some kid got beaten up, apparently.”

“It was so badass! ” A raven-haired stranger - with the name generously supplied by Felix to be Changbin - slurs, barrelling into Chan’s side, unbalanced and way past the line of tipsy. “The kid was bleeding so much.

“I’m not sure you’d call that badass, Changbin,” Chan laughs, gently chiding the younger, “it was… violent, that’s for sure.” 

“Damn…” Jeongin isn’t sure he really did do the wisest thing in coming here now. “Are they still here?”

“The kid that beat the other up? I’m not sure. He disappeared after his victim left,” Changbin supplies, his words sounding thick, like they took a lot of effort to pronounce coherently. Given his inebriated state, they probably were. 

“Wild,” is all Jeongin can say before he knocks another mouthful of his drink back.

Jeongin manages to victoriously get through around three hours unscathed before his entire friendship group is a mess of giggles and stumbles. He’s tispy, but not inebriated; too cautious to want to succumb to the clutches of alcohol in such a public setting. Snickering at the way Felix is trying to climb Chan like a damn yeti , he makes a quick over-the-shoulder gesture back to the kitchen, deciding that fetching a few glasses of water to the trainwrecks he calls his friends won’t hurt. 

He gets halfway to the kitchen when a very drunk peer falls into his path, landing roughly into Jeongin’s chest, and Jeongin raises the hand holding his own drink into the air on instinct, stopping any spillage mid-slosh. The stench of heavy alcohol hangs thick around the intruder, and Jeongin fights the urge to cough it away. The guy steps back, giving Jeongin a heavy once-over, and Jeongin then has to stop himself from physically shuddering at the vibes this guy is exuding. Spite and cruelty seem to ooze from this guy’s very being. 

“Watch where you’re going, bitch ,” he spits, and Jeongin raises an eyebrow, never one to take any shit, particularly from another student who clearly can’t handle his alcohol. 

“You watch where you’re going too,” Jeongin mutters, and moves to slide past the guy when suddenly, the guy grabs his arm in a vice grip and out of nowhere, Jeongin is surrounded with cronies. He groans internally, desperately looking for a way out. “Let me go.” 

“Hmm… no,” the same guy says with glee, tugging Jeongin to the side and making him stumble. “People don’t just talk back to me like that.” 

“Hey!” someone yells, and Jeongin is hit with a strange sense of deja vu as his eyes land on the face of a vaguely familiar boy elbowing his way through the group. “Leave him be, morons. He didn’t do shit.” 

“Kim fucking Seungmin!” one of the other guys crows, jumping up and down. “Look who it is.” 

The hold on Jeongin’s arm loosens for a second, and he yanks it out of the guy’s grip, rubbing the skin now marred with ugly red marks beneath his shirt. 

 “He’s gay, right? You two should date ,” the guy says, clearly meaning Seungmin and Jeongin, but there’s no sincerity behind his words, and his voice is spiked with spite. Clearly, this group cut straight to the chase, not even bothering to lead up to their insults. Disgusting people who prey on the tenderness and love they so clearly crave for themselves. It’s tragic, really. 

“I don’t think it would be a bad thing, if two guys were to date. Perhaps that’s just your fragile masculinity speaking through the alcohol,” Seungmin snarks back, and Jeongin takes a step back, ready to flee the scene right then and there before things got any worse.

“They are dating!” another sings, almost falling over with the force of himself. Do these people have nothing more to prey on than the idea of love itself?

The drink in Jeongin’s hand is still cold, but the chill of pre-iced alcohol has nothing on the freezing effect of that chocolate gaze belonging to Kim Seungmin piercing right through him. Subconsciously, he grips the solo cup tighter, paying no mind to how the thin plastic bends beneath his fingers, the fizzing liquid inside threatening to spill over his fingers and onto his shoes. 

“What-” he whispers, but before he can question it further, Seungmin’s arm is wrapped around his shoulders, the weight warm and grounding as he looks at the floor and Seungmin stares at the group in front of them with an equally calculating gaze. 

“It sounds to me like you’re all too insecure in your own love lives and you’re projecting it onto whoever you deem fit,” Seungmin says, voice monotone and steady, never wavering. His hand grips Jeongin’s shoulder, but instead of pain, his fingers pressing into the flesh there feel comforting, like it’s speaking to the younger. I’ve got you. But Jeongin’s quickly sobering self is still just a little too tipsy to acknowledge that at the moment. “We don’t have to prove anything to you guys.” 

The group’s leader’s face grows tight, and his hand crushes the plastic cup he’s holding, sending what’s left of its contents splashing onto the floor and leaving a sticky mess that likely won’t be cleaned up until the next morning. “You’re lying!”

“I wouldn’t pick a fight after my earlier… performance , if I were you,” Seungmin purrs, cracking his knuckles by one and not breaking eye contact even for a second. He’s the one Chan mentioned earlier .  “I’m all warmed up and you, on the other hand, are drunk out of your mind. If you remember this little discussion tomorrow I’ll gladly show you the damage I can cause.”

Jeongin stands, frozen, as he watches the scene unfold; every movement is a risk and he feels as if he even twitches, he’ll be heard as the starting bell for a fight. 

The group is rendered silent for a full second before their leader lunges forward, fists flailing and face contorted in barely suppressed rage. “Come on then, if you think you’re hard enough!”

Seungmin steps away from Jeongin and stands, amused, as the boy approaches them with all the confidence of a professional wrestler, laughing as they land weak punch after weak punch against his chest. 

“Alcohol really does drain the strength sometimes,” he comments, and Jeongin sees the exact moment the guy sees red , letting out an infuriated yell and throwing his hands in the air in anger. In doing so, he manages to hit Jeongin right in the nose, who stumbles backwards, crying out in pain as his drink goes tumbling to the floor.

“ Don’t touch him, ” Seungmin growls, and before Jeongin can do so much as blink, he’s landed a solid uppercut to the guy’s jaw, sending him flailing and falling to the ground, unable to keep balance due to the alcohol clouding his senses like thick fog. Jeongin panics, and he’s sure as hell that any alcohol he’d previously ingested has left his system in place of adrenaline as his eyes dart around the room; there’s too much going on, too many people, too much music and it’s so loud , so many lights, so many people -- 

“Jeongin. Jeongin,” Seungmin is saying, and Jeongin feels sure hands take hold of his shoulders, holding him steady. “Jeongin. Are you okay?” 

“I-” Is he okay? Jeongin has no idea. 

“I think we should get you home,” he hears Seungmin say over the din, and there are arms wrapped firmly around him; hands guiding him through the masses one last time and suddenly they’re out of the apartment; the music is behind them and Jeongin can breathe again as the freezing autumn air finally fills his lungs, sharp and refreshing as he gasps in air like he’d never taken a breath of it before. 

“Do you know where your friends are?” Seungmin asks, straight to the point. Jeongin shakes his head mutely. “Alright, then how did you get here?”

“I walked.”

“Of course. Well, you’re in no fit state to be walking back now. I’ll drive you back, come on,” Seungmin announces gruffly, and Jeongin’s heart drops, fear making his stomach lurch. This is the guy who’s already fought two people tonight, and made one person bleed so much they had to leave the premises altogether. Does Jeongin really want to be in a car with him in such a vulnerable state? Does he have a choice ? 

In the end, he ends up messaging his friends on their group chat and letting Seungmin walk him back after all, and goes to bed a little over an hour later, once he’s dragged himself through the arduous task of washing away his makeup and brushing his teeth. He’ll shower tomorrow. 

Only one thought roams free within his brain, a mere whisper as he drifts off to sleep among duvets and pillows that starkly contrast the sharp fear he felt just hours prior. 

How did Seungmin even know his name?

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Despite the low amounts of alcohol Jeongin consumed the previous night, he wakes up to a throbbing headache and groans as he pulls himself out of bed, trudging over to the bathroom where he keeps his painkillers and downing them with water. Looking in the mirror, he sees that nothing is out of place: no bloodshot eyes, and he did in fact manage to successfully remove all of his makeup, which he had done in the dark, and the fact makes for a small blessing through his headache. 

Memories of last night rush back into the forefront of his mind like a dam breaking over a tall lake, and Jeongin gasps, rushing to pick up his phone and check that his friends got his messages about him leaving early. If they hadn’t, he’d have to call them immediately; knowing them they’ll be worried sick. 

He sighs in relief at the replies that flooded in from the group-chat at varying hours of the night - of course, at some point everybody had checked their phones and known that he’d gotten back safely. The time, 11:36, flashes at the top of his screen, and as if on cue, Jeongin’s stomach growls loudly, making him swallow a giggle at the sound of it slicing through the silence of his room. It’s a Saturday: the day in which  he makes sure to facetime his mother without fail, to make up for the nights he can’t spend calling her due to studying and socialisation. He’ll eat breakfast first, get dressed and then call her. 

All things considered, his morning goes surprisingly quickly: it takes much less time to shower, eat and dress than anticipated, which leaves Jeongin with the blessing of being able to call his family early. He speaks with his father for about an hour before the phone is passed to his mother, and the time flies by so quickly that Jeongin forgets all about his prior plans to meet with Felix at two o’clock - and by the time ten-past two rolls around, his only reminder chomps straight through his comfortable sushi-roll of familial love in the form of a very loud, very determined Felix busting his dorm room door down.

“YANG JEONGIN,” Felix screams as he barrels into Jeongin’s dorm room with all the force of a freight truck, “when were you going to tell me that you’re dating Kim Seungmin ?” He’s holding his phone out in front of him, the screen illuminated with a photo taken at the party the night before, of Jeongin being led out of the house by Seungmin. Jeongin is a little blurry, but Seungmin’s form is clearly video, captured in 4k despite the shitty party lighting.

“Felix, could you hold on a second?” Jeongin’s heart almost leaps clean out of his chest - it’s times like this that he regrets giving Felix a spare key - and gestures to his phone. Felix mouths a quiet ‘oh’ and mimes zipping his lips, complete with high-pitched sound effects. 

“Innie? You’re dating somebody?” Jeongin’s mother says through the phone, clearly trying to stay calm but the vibrations in her tone betray her excitement. Her face is suddenly huge, eyes pushed dangerously close to the screen in a comically vain attempt to glimpse the photo Felix is displaying. “You didn’t tell me this! What’s he like? Oh, my darling, I’m so happy for you - what was his name I heard?” 

Jeongin freezes in place for a second time, pressing the phone to his chest so hard he wouldn’t be surprised if it ends up leaving an imprint on his skin. 

“Innie? Are you still there?” 

He forces himself out of his reverie, both hands coming to cradle the phone as he shows his face through the camera again. “Yeah - yeah, I’m still here.”

“Oh, darling! What’s the name of the lucky boy, then?” 

Jeongin sends a panicked glance to Felix, who’s blissfully unaware of the wormhole he’s just opened. What does he do ? His mother sounds so delighted - he’s panicking again; his mind is simply playing the video on repeat, his mouth won’t work, what to do-

“Kim Seungmin!” Felix chirps helpfully, the words so palpable as they hang in the air, yet untouchable to the point that Jeongin can’t for the life of him reach out and stuff them right back where they came from. 

“Seungmin? Oh, I’m so happy for you, love! You must bring him with you at Christmas - your Aunt Jisoo and I have been longing for you to bring someone home for the festivities!” 

Jeongin is standing in fog, and he has no headlights. He has eyes, but they cannot see. He’s lost, spiralling into the cosmos of confusion, panic and the unknown. 

“I - I’ll think about it. I have to go, Felix just arrived,” is all he can think to say, and his mother is quick to bid him a goodbye full of vibrant happiness before he hands up, the screen turning black as he looks back up at Felix with eyes as wide as the gaping hole of sheer panic that’s just opened up within his chest.. 

“ Lix, ” he whines, trudging up to his friend who accepts him with open arms, “that was my mother.”

“Yes?” Felix blinks, “I heard. What I also heard is that you’re dating Kim Seungmin and haven’t told any of us! ” 

“That’s the point ,” Jeongin’s voice raises an octave, “I’m not dating Seungmin! It’s probably a stupid rumour from the party because he saved me from this big group of drunk guys… but now my mother overheard you yelling and wants me to bring him home for Christmas !” 

Felix’s eyes widen in glee, and he hits at Jeongin’s chest excitedly. “No way! That’s so cool! Are you actually gonna do it?”

Jeongin groans loudly, again, and walks back to his bed, plopping onto it like jelly. That’s what he chooses to become now. If he turns into a jellyfish, he won’t have to deal with any of the consequences of these trifling current events. 

“You’re purposely ignoring the fact that I have to either tell Seungmin about this mess and persuade him to go along with this whole tirade, or tell my mother that I just panicked and didn’t correct you and dash her pure hopes of me finding love at such a young age.” 

“Either way sounds like a ride. Why not just take a chance and tell Seungmin? Worst case scenario is that you’ll get rejected, and then you could always tell your mother about the lying part then. Or just tell her you broke up, or something. Who knows - you and Seungmin could part ways as unlikely friends, or-” Felix wiggles his eyebrows and sidles up to the younger, bouncing closer to him on the mattress- “you may even fall in love.”

Jeongin fake-gags. “No.” 

A freckled brow furrows into a cute pout. “You’re no fun.” 

“I’ll just tell my mother that I panicked or something - I’m not gonna drag Seungmin into this after meeting him once . He’s the campus bad boy, as cliche as it sounds! It’s for the best that we all forget this rumour even started.” It’s stupid, really, how messily out of hand it’s gotten already, and Jeongin doesn’t even know how many people will have heard about it yet. 

Curse his own timing for calling his mother right as Felix was due to come round. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

It’s two hours later when the shrill ringing of Jeongin’s phone makes himself and Felix jump out of their skin in shock. The number is unknown, so Jeongin is hesitant about picking up, but after frantic prompting from Felix he presses the accept call button and raises the device back up to his ear, holding it cautiously as if something were about to leap right out and eat him up. 

“Jeongin?” Jeongin chokes on his spit. There’s no way that that’s--

“Jeongin, you good?” Felix whacks him unhelpfully on the back a few times. “Who is it?” 

The person speaking into the phone is still there, voicing concerns about Jeongin’s sudden coughing fit. “Are you okay there?” 

“I’m fine,” Jeongin reigns his breathing back under control and exhales heavily. “Uhm… just to check, so to say - who’s calling?” 

Laughter on the other end. “It’s Kim Seungmin.” 

“ Put it on speaker!” Felix is mouthing, trying to grab the phone from Jeongin’s hands himself. Jeongin yanks his whole body away from his hyperactive friend and does it himself, miming zipping up his lips and then dragging his fingers across his neck in warning for if Felix decides to make a single sound. Felix nods solemnly. 

“How - how did you get my number?” Jeongin is perplexed. One minute Felix comes sprinting in with the apparent knowledge that Jeongin and Seungmin are dating, and the next minute Seungmin’s suddenly acquired his number out of nowhere? If Jeongin hasn’t started growing grey hairs by the end of today he’ll be more than surprised. 

“You gave it to me last night?” Seungmin sounds puzzled too, now. “I told you to call me if you needed anything, but you didn’t. Which is fine. But I was wondering if you’re feeling alright after everything that happened.” 

Jeongin gave Seungmin his number? That’s one detail of the night he definitely does not remember. How could he forget that? When did he even do that? 

“Uh--”

“Is now not a good time?” 

Jeongin stares at Felix, silently flailing his free arm about, and Felix flails back, neither quite knowing what to do. Felix’s furious gesture to the phone prompts Jeongin to reply. 

“No, now’s okay,” Jeongin forces out, as Felix pulls on his arm and silently screams. Jeongin’s glaring does nothing to silence him. “Uh, not to sound rude, but why are you calling?” 

“I just wanted to make sure you’re alright after last night? It was probably quite scary and you were quite tipsy - uh, what’s that sound?” 

“Nothing!” Jeongin slaps Felix’s hands away from where they’re smacking at his legs repeatedly. “Just my friend. And I’m fine, thank you for walking me back last night. And for stepping in with that group of guys before it could get any worse.”

“Oh, it’s no problem,” Seungmin says, and for once, Felix isn’t distracting Jeongin too much, and he’s suddenly struck with the realisation of just how pleasant Seungmin’s voice is to listen to. Soft, gentle. Definitely not suited for someone with a reputation for violence. “I’m sorry if they made you uncomfortable with anything they did or said.”

Felix chortles, and Jeongin makes the same throat motion at him again, making him grin and close his mouth again. “Uhm, yeah. About that - apparently there’s already a rumour going around that we’re… dating?” 

Seungmin hums at that, and doesn’t reply instantly. Felix stares holes into Jeongin whilst they await his response. 

“Is there? It’s just a silly rumour, it’ll die out on its own. I doubt it’s spread very far.”

“Well, it kind of has. My mother knows about it too, funny right?” Jeongin says quietly. “She… she actually wants to meet you.”

Silence. 

“ Damn, that was fast, ” Felix whispers. “No buildup or anything?”

“I panicked,” Jeongin mouths back, back to gesturing so wildly that his phone almost slips from his clammy grip. 

“I think at this point this is something that would be best discussed in person, perhaps?” Seungmin offers, voice laced with something unreadable. “It’s harder to focus when I can only hear your voice.” 

“Y-yeah, okay,” Jeongin stammers, and Felix slides off the bed, landing in a crumpled heap on the floor. “When?” 

“I’m on the roof of the arts building, so you can come and join me now if you want to.”

“I - alright.” Nodding once to himself, Jeongin stands up and steps over a wide-eyed Felix. “I’m on my way.” He hangs up. 

“ Bitch ,” Felix yells, “NOW?! That was fast - I mean, there’s hope? He didn’t immediately reject the idea. I’m coming with.” 

“You are not coming with,” Jeongin warns him as he pulls a woolen sweater over his shirt. “ Hey, my mother wants to meet you because of a dating rumour she thinks is real and also, I’ve brought my best friend who started this endeavour so he can watch us discuss it? Hell no.” 

“Fine,” Felix huffs, “but I’m going to plant myself right here-” he crosses his legs and sits adamantly on the floor- “until you come back.” 

Alright , Jeongin thinks; this he can agree to. Before he can talk himself out of it, he pockets his phone and walks out of the door with a final wave to Felix, walking on automatic to the arts building, around ten minutes away from his dorm. How he’ll get up on the roof is another mystery - why is Seungmin up there in the first place? - but he’ll figure it out, somehow. 

To tell the truth, he only acted out of pure panic when Seungmin called - he has no idea of his personality, and the only thing he knows about the other boy is that he gets into fights, and -- Jeongin shudders a little -- has a reputation for disobedience and violence. 

He can only hope that this meeting will go well. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

When Jeongin finally figures out the way to access the arts roof, he’s pleasantly surprised to find that it’s not dangerous at all - it’s just like the top tier of a multi-storey parking lot. He spots Seungmin easily, not having to look at all for the other boy doing laps around the roof on his skateboard. He hops off as soon as he sees Jeongin, though, running a hand through wind-mussed locks as he picks up his board and sets it next to the wall. 

Trying not to openly stare at the obviously fresh cut on Seungmin’s brow and the bruises that litter his knees under the rips of his jeans - not to mention his knuckles - Jeongin greets him politely and waits for the appropriate returning greeting.

It doesn’t come.

“So let’s get straight to it, did I hear you correctly when you said that your mother somehow thinks we’re dating and wants to meet me?” 

Jeongin blinks, once, twice, and a final long eye-closure before he simply stares for a further second. Getting shit done, this man does not beat about the bush, apparently. 

“Uh - yeah. I’m so sorry, you absolutely don’t have to - Felix came into my dorm yelling about the rumour whilst I was calling my mother, and then-”

“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain. I’m just puzzled - you want to go through with this?” 

Wincing, Jeongin runs a hand through his hair as he tries to word his response correctly. The upfront, brazen attitude of the boy standing in front of him is not helping his patience right now. “I - I really don’t know. But my mother does think I’m dating somebody called Seungmin now, because I panicked and didn’t deny it.” 

“She supports you dating another guy?” 

Visibly bristling, Jeongin pulls his jumper sleeves down over his hands, dragging the wool over his knuckles tightly. “Yes.”

“Ah.” 

Jeongin blinks again. His thoughts race with the implication of the statement, spoken so casually by Seungmin, a simple throwaway comment - but if Jeongin looks extra hard into his eyes, can he really see hints of masked pain locked away there? He nods slowly, carefully. “You like guys too?”

Laughter follows his statement from the boy standing in front of him. “You seem to have forgotten the reason for last night’s near-fight.” 

Oh… yeah. 

A rough wind blows crisped leaves swirling around their feet and sends goosebumps to Jeongin’s arms. He wraps his arms around himself for protection. 

“So. What are the options here?” Seungmin presses. “Do you need me to come home with you and meet your family at one point to keep up a facade of dating somebody, or did you just want to let me know that your mother thinks we’re dating now?” there’s a certain twinkle in his eye, and Jeongin isn’t sure whether to confuse it with menace or not. 

“I… It’s a lot to ask, but I really don’t want to disappoint her,” Jeongin mumbles, refusing to lift his eyes from the ground. “My mother… she really wants to see me happy with someone, and was… ecstatic when she heard Felix say I was dating somebody.” 

“So why not get somebody else to play a Seungmin?” 

Because I’m trying to take risks and break free of this perfect-boy persona, and there’s no risk if I’m not throwing myself into this headfirst.

“That would feel like doubly lying to her, and I don’t even know if I can do this much.” Short, clipped words that still hold more truth than he’d like to admit, even to himself. More than anything, Jeongin wants to back out, retrace his steps and erase all memory of this awkward mess from existence and just tell his mother the truth because really, none of this is worth it. A simple explanation should suffice, and she’d probably understand… he just really doesn’t want to disappoint her; can’t bear the thought of seeing the disappointment flutter across her face as he tells her that her excitement was for nothing. 

Jeongin’s entire life has been filled with achievements; mostly academic-wise. He’s so used to seeing his mother smile and be proud of him that the idea of failing her in any way, when she’s done so much for him, fills him with a sick feeling of dread. 

Telling her that he lied to her ? He could hardly bear to think of it. 

“It was an accident, but… I still lied to her. I couldn’t disappoint her…” 

Seungmin seems to take pity on him then, and clears his throat, picking his skateboard back up and passing it from hand to hand. “I’ll help you.” 

Jeongin’s head shoots up. “You will?” 

“Yes. But not as strangers. You said she expects you at home at Christmas - we have two months to become friends. I refuse to come with you if I know nothing about you.” 

Fair play. Jeongin thinks he can do that. “Okay.” 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

From there, things seem to improve. 

Jeongin walks back to his dorm not long afterwards, finding Felix in the exact same position he’d left him in, and complaining about how stiff his bones felt after staying in the same position for so long. (After he’d stopped laughing Jeongin had called him a dumbass for not getting comfortable somewhere less taxing on his body.)

The one thing different to before is the act of Jeongin vowing to never do anything as drastic as this again - there are plenty more ways to break free of his internalised labels than throwing himself head-first into a combination of deceiving his family, who he loves more than anything in the world, and getting a fake boyfriend . What in the world has he gotten himself into?

After saving Seungmin’s contact to prevent future confusing mishaps like the one that morning, Jeongin had let the elder come to him, not wanting to get too involved too fast; he was cautious, but felt he couldn’t be blamed for the fact - he knew of Seungmin’s reputation, and although he was literally getting caught up with him with the whole fake-dating at Christmas deal, he wanted to test the waters first. You can never be too careful. 

Seungmin messages him two days after their meeting. 

Kim Seungmin: So I was thinking we could meet soon. To get to know one another a little better. 

Jeongin snorts at the full grammar. 

Yang Jeongin: yh sounds good

Yang Jeongin: where and when?

Kim Seungmin: The cafeteria on campus in an hour?

Yang Jeongin: sounds good 

Standing up and stretching, feeling the pleasant pop of his spine as he finally stands straight, Jeongin checks the time on his phone, deciding an hour gives him perfect time to shower beforehand. He hadn’t showered yet; had chosen to have a lazy study day and shower at night instead, but if he’s going to leave his dorm he may as well shower beforehand. An hour later he’s freshly clean, hair damp and set to dry in the autumn air, and he’s dressed in a preppy outfit consisting of dark pants and a comfortable yellow jumper, half-tucked in. He chooses to wear his circular-framed glasses today too, not wanting to wear contacts this time around. 

Fifty-three minutes after their arrangement Jeongin finds himself sitting in the cafeteria, sitting at one of the long tables next to the window, which he chooses to people-watch out of in favour of scanning the room for Seungmin. He hasn’t bought anything to eat or drink yet; happy to simply sit and exist for a while before the object of today’s socialising arrives. 

Ten minutes after he arrives, a presence slides into the seat opposite him, and he tears his gaze away from the trees going through abscission and takes in Seungmin’s appearance instead.

It’s incredibly safe to say that the latter contrasts him a great deal: his black ripped jeans are hidden from sight beneath the table but his feet are clad in inches-high platform boots, giving him another unfair advantage in height, and Jeongin eyes the oversized black shirt he has tucked into his jeans with silent admiration. He looks scary, at least to Jeongin, but it looks good, as reluctant as he is to admit it. 

Seungmin is like a black hole: dark, dangerous, all-consuming; yet, no matter how scared Jeongin feels of him, he is inescapably drawn in.

“Hey,” Seungmin greets simply, and as he moves around to get comfy, the numerous silver chains around his neck flash in the artificial light shining from the ceiling. 

“Hi,” Jeongin offers an awkward, tight-lipped smile. “You don’t have your board with you today.”

“I’m not allowed to bring it inside anymore,” Seungmin scowls, looking somewhat angry about the fact. “You skate down the hallway once and suddenly you’re a danger to others and campus property.”

The image of Seungmin skateboarding into one of his lectures flashes across Jeongin’s mind, and he has to bite back a grin as his mind wanders to the possibility of him colliding with a papers-laden teacher. That would certainly be a sight, as harmful as the reality of it may be if anybody got physically ran into. 

Talking to Seungmin is somewhat easier than Jeongin had anticipated, and although he could tell that both of them tried to keep more personal details to themselves, and Seungmin was clearly as unwilling to reveal more deep aspects about himself as Jeongin was, he found that he was relatively easy to get along with. It’s a pleasant feeling; if they can continue on this way, perhaps Christmas will still be a rather pleasant affair so long as Seungmin tones down the whole bad boy thing a little. It’s nothing that can’t be fixed.

Nothing more is spoken about the arrangement at present, and after an hour or so of talking, Jeongin finds Seungmin decidedly less intimidating than his sharp gaze originally suggests. He still wouldn’t voluntarily interact if not for their situation, but perhaps that’s because of his harsh demeanour. 

Besides. Jeongin doesn’t really talk to many people who aren’t in his classes in the first place, as long as you discount his friends. 

They part ways that day as unlikely just-about-more-than-acquaintances: the boy with straight A’s and unassuming disposition, and the boy in ripped black clothing covered in fight-caused injuries. Black on yellow, a striking contrast… 

Yet a beautiful combination, in more ways than one, and more than either of them yet realise. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Kim Seungmin: Hey, yesterday was fun. We should hang out again.

Jeongin sighs as his phone vibrates, picking it up to see Seungmin’s name glaring at him through his screen. He sighs again, choosing to reply instead of ignoring before he goes back to studying.

Yang Jeongin: cant rn, sorry. studying

He assumes that’ll be enough to deter the elder boy, seeing as they’re only just acquainted.

It isn’t.

Kim Seungmin: You study a lot, huh? 

Yang Jeongin: and you don’t? 

Kim Seungmin: I’m not the one with a reputation for straight A’s in my classes.

Huh. A reputation? Jeongin knows that university is nowhere near as clique-y and gossip-full as highschool is, but the thought of him having a reputation among his classmates, most of whom he’s hardly spoken to, admittedly draws a laugh from him. 

Yang Jeongin: hmm nice 

Yang Jeongin: either way im still studying, sorry :/ another time? 

It’s still October, and although termly exams start during December, right before everybody is due to pack up and leave for Christmas -- or stay if they prefer -- Jeongin knows he needs to stay ahead in his studies. He knows all too well what will happen if he falls behind: it means only disappointment, both in himself and from his professors. 

He shudders at the thought. Jeongin would really rather not experience disappointment from his elders, if he can help it.

Switching his phone fully off, he shakes his head and gets back to studying. 

It’s around two hours later when Jeongin is disturbed again, this time by his stomach rumbling. He stretches, groaning loudly, and slumps over his desk, eyes drooping with the weight that staring at pages of text for hours on end brings. His minifridge is depressingly empty, and he needs a break from studying to eat and take care of himself anyway - so he grabs his phone and wallet, switching his phone back on as he goes as he toes on some shoes and walks out of the dormitory building to the nearest convenience store.

October weather also means that it falls darker earlier, bringing with it the stinging chill of nighttime. As the nights get longer, the barrier between earth and space falls away, and Jeongin finds himself standing on a street corner, empty stomach ignored for the time being, and simply gazing up into the sky. 

He curses light pollution for existing. Oh, to exist back in the good old times, where light pollution didn’t exist and access to the cosmos was only limited by your own eyesight. Jeongin loves his university’s location, really he does - but for admiring the stars, living in a city has its disadvantages. Christmas really will bring more blessings than one in the way that his family’s annual celebration destination is in a beautiful location away from the city, and therefore away from any light pollution. Laying in the snow watching the stars is a limiting experience in terms of temperature, but for those few minutes that you can bear laying there, Jeongin thinks he’s never seen anything so beautiful. 

A car whizzes past in a cold-blooded pursuit of a life Jeongin has no idea about, and he’s broken out of his reverie. Wrapping his coat tightly around himself, he shivers and breathes out a puff of air that hangs in the air incandescently before vining slowly out into the darkness. He shoulders on, keeping close to streetlights at all times to aid safety and vision. 

It’s only once Jeongin reaches the convenience store itself that he begins to hear signs of other human life. His journey had been surprisingly devoid thus far, broken only by speeding cars and the pat-pat-pat of his own footsteps, but now, once nearer to the hollow, shelves-filled block of concrete full of half-nutritional goodness -- if you’re lucky -- the calm serenity of the night is suddenly full of shouts and blows. 

Honestly, Jeongin has no energy to deal with finding out whoever’s involved. Tonight, he has one agenda: enter the store, stick up on snacks and ramen, and then leave . Perhaps he’s studied enough today… watching a new show tonight would be nice. 

Once the glass door opens and shuts smoothly behind him, the sounds of whatever fight or argument was happening outside fades away, and Jeongin lets himself relax again, scouring shelves for his favourite brands. He really should have grabbed a basket on the way in; his arms soon piling high with snacks balanced precariously on top of one another and wobbling dangerously. He speedwalks over to the counter and dumps everything in one go, smiling sheepishly at the cashier who regards him with badly-masked amusement before she begins to scan each item one by one. 

The door flies open, and somebody stumbles in loudly, steps uncoordinated and heavy. Jeongin keeps his gaze firmly on the rapidly decreasing pile of food being scanned, focusing on the way each item is then placed into a paper bag with a crinkle and rustle. Slightly heavy breathing gets closer and closer to him, and he winces as the person, now directly behind him, forming a queue, inhales deeply to regulate their breaths. 

“That will be 22000 won,” the cashier says around a yawn, rubbing her eyes tiredly. Jeongin gathers the bag in his hands, holding it tightly for fear of it breaking, although the snacks inside hardly carry any weight, before turning heel and making a second of eye contact with the guy standing a little too close for comfort behind him. 

The man is still breathing heavily, and makes unbreaking eye contact, staring at Jeongin as he rolls his eyes and leaves the store sharpish, suppressing a shiver. As he steps back out into the night, he can just about make out the silhouette of a figure rolling away down the street on a skateboard, carrying an imperceptible air of familiarity about them. Is that-  

The figure turns a corner and vanishes. 

Jeongin stares into the empty space the person left in their wake before shivering again, and carrying on with his walk, speeding up to lessen the chance of a dangerous encounter. If that was Seungmin, then he only hopes that it wasn’t him fighting outside the convenience store. He wouldn’t wish injuries on anybody, apart from if they really deserved them, and surely Seungmin hadn’t done anything to deserve them? 

This triggers the realisation that, although he and Seungmin have spent a few hours together by now, Jeongin knows little to nothing about Seungmin’s real character. Does he do things worth getting hurt for? Will Jeongin ever find out? 

This time, it’s not fear or the chill of the night air that sends a shiver down Jeongin’s spine. 

But tonight, he ignores the acknowledgement and shoulders past the fleeting streetlights. 

It’s a thought to process another time. Perhaps a few months into the future, once he’s forgotten all about it.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

The weeks seem to pass quicker than usual following the initial mess of the party, followed by the whole Seungmin events , as Felix had ineloquently dubbed it. Suddenly the business that upcoming mock exams bring leave Jeongin feeling stunned, his breath thick in his lungs as he struggles through mountains of homework piled high on top of his studies and revision. It’s overwhelming, but he knows it would be much more so if he hadn’t started studying as early as he had - so really, he has it a lot easier than others who had procrastinated. For that, he counts himself lucky. 

Quickly, almost too quickly, it’s mid-November, and the warm-coloured flurry of autumn has begun to give way to a harsh winter; the chill of the summer sun taking her leave is replaced with a glacial bitterness that bites at Jeongin’s skin and fingertips, and the leaves falling to the ground darken and turn to mush on the ground as they mix with everyday rain and sleet. It’s not cold enough for snow yet, but Jeongin can feel that soon, the tarmac of pavements and scattering of final leaves from deciduous trees will be coated with a fresh layer of crisp white. 

There’s exactly three weeks to go until his exam week, and after that it’s goodbye to university for a while… and hello to the new hurdles that going home to his family, and bringing Seungmin with him, will bring. 

If Jeongin is being honest, the holiday thing sounds like a piece of cake compared to these damn exams, discounting Seungmin. Focus on one thing first, and worry about Christmas later . 

“You know, you think so loudly ,” Hyunjin comments, picking at his nails innocently across the table from Jeongin. The two of them are sitting in the cafeteria, leisurely nomming their way through dinner as the streetlights automatically flicker on outside. “Your thoughts are, like, bass-boosted.” 

“I hope they deafen you,” Jeongin returns sweetly, and Hyunjin’s face twists into betrayal, flicking a spoonful of rice over the table that lands with a satisfyingly moist sound as the sticky grains hit the younger right in the nose.

“HEY!” Jeongin all but yells, outraged as he picks up a single noodle and sends it flying gracefully onto Hyunjin’s forehead, where it sticks for a few seconds, drawing a screech from the other. If there’s one good thing about the two of them, it’s their mutual impeccable aim when throwing things.

The same can’t be said for Felix, unfortunately.

“You two are so disruptive,” Jisung chides, bringing a tray of his own food to the table with a resounding clang . “It’s so sexy. Let me join.” 

“I was just commenting on Jeongin’s loud thoughts and he roasted me,” Hyunjin wails, clinging to Jisung dramatically - although Jeongin suspects that the skinship is less to do with physical comfort and more to do with using Jisung as a meatshield. 

“Deserved, you musty ass giraffe,” Jisung cackles, and screams as he ducks out of the way of another well-aimed spoonful of food. Across the cafeteria, a staff member shoots the table a glare, and Jeongin turns his back to them immediately, flushing under the embarrassment of being caught. As the two in front of him bicker, his thoughts flit back to his worries about Christmas, and what bringing Seungmin with him back home will entail.

Over the past few weeks, in between classes and study - Jeongin feels that he has gotten to know Seungmin in a way that puts him a little more at ease around the intimidating delinquent. Sure, Seungmin is still threatening in his aura, and his clothing style combined with his tendency to get riled up in the face of others too easily makes him unpredictable to be around, but past that, Jeongin can feel a bond forming between the two of them. He’s not yet sure how far he’d like the bond to stretch, but for now, he’s comfortable with the idea of taking Seungmin back to meet his family. At this rate, he knows that it, at the very least, won’t be entirely awkward, and as his own nature is not one of provocation, he feels almost safe in the idea that Seungmin won’t initiate any fistfights. 

Skinship is a whole different matter, though. They’ll have to discuss that soon, as of course a (fake) relationship without skinship won’t look realistic or convincing at all. That’s a whole other barrier Jeongin will have to work on tearing down before approaching. 

Again, for now, Jeongin won’t think about it. That’s another problem for Future Jeongin to tackle. 

Almost like a strange form of telepathy, Jeongin’s phone buzzes twice in neat succession next to his plate. 

Puppy-looking bastard: I’m bored. Come and hang out with me.

Jeongin snorts loudly. The few weeks of cautious friendship so far have, admittedly, led to any sort of formalities diminishing faster than smoke on a windy day, along with Jeongin’s formal contact name for the elder boy. Seungmin had snatched his phone from his grip one day as he rode past on his skateboard, delivering a sneak attack from behind and editing his contact as Jeongin had screeched for it back. It had initially been changed to simply puppy , a strange but fitting ulterior name for him, but Jeongin had switched it up a little, to puppy-looking bastard , as the simple puppy connoted things far too tender than what laid within his comfort zone.

Fake bf-to-be: no.

Puppy-looking bastard: But you’re always studying :( and I want company.

Jeongin clearly isn’t studying right now, but Seungmin doesn’t need to know that.

Fake bf-to-be: maybe if you came and studied with me instead of vandalising my stuff

Puppy-looking bastard: But drawing on your notes is fun! More fun than learning things for exams in a corrupt ableist education system that exists solely to test the survival of the fittest in terms of students’ mental health and destroy those who can’t keep up

Jeongin stares at the message, having to re-read everything around three times to make sense of the sentence. Huh. He has a strong point, to be fair. Considerably less annoyed about the doodles now messing up his neat study notes, he re-reads the message again.

Fake bf-to-be: damn

Fake bf-to-be: u do have a point… have u ever considered motivational speaking 

Puppy-looking bastard: Absolutely not. But back to my initial point: come and join me for a while :) 

“Jeongin’s smiling at his phone, look ,” Jeongin suddenly heard, and his smile vanishes, head snapping up to see that Felix and Chan have joined the table without his notice, and that all four of his friends are smirking at him with equal amounts of ominous foreboding and evil plotting. 

“What do you want?” He scowls, and Felix cackles. 

“What’s got you all distracted when this ,” Jisung gestures to himself extensively, “is right here in front of you?” 

“That’s more reason for Jeongin to look at his phone, ugly,” Felix deadpans, and Jisung gasps dramatically, falling back against nothing and drawing laughter from everyone watching as he realises there’s nothing behind him. His eyes bug wide as he shoots off the backless seat, crashing to the ground in an entanglement of limbs. 

“I’m okay!” he says weakly from the floor, and Chan loses the ability to form words, silently clapping through his laughter. 

Hyunjin, ever the opportunist, snatches Jeongin’s phone from the table amidst the laughter and scans the screen with wide eyes. 

“And who in the fuck is puppy-looking bastard?” 

“Oh?” Chan scrambles up from his seat next to Jeongin and plants his entire body over the table, craning to see the screen instead of simply asking to see the screen like a normal person would . “Whomst?”

“They want to meet you, Innie,” Felix wiggles his eyebrows at inhuman speeds, and for a second Hyunjin just stares, looking mildly concerned at the sight. Jeongin rolls his eyes.

“I said no.” 

“But who is it?” Chan implores desperately, sliding off the table again and winding his arms around Jeongin in a vice grip. Jeongin grunts and tries to wiggle away, but it’s no use; he’s convinced that Chan was an octopus in a past life because damn , he swears that man has more than two arms. 

“Seungmin. Now get off me if you value your food.” 

“ SEUNGMIN, ” Felix shrieks, and half of the cafeteria falls silent for a second, turning to look at the disturbance from their table. 

“Shut your mouth or I’ll take your food too,” Jeongin threatens. Felix grins and shovels a grotesque mouthful of food into his mouth before attempting to speak again, spraying half-chewed food all over the table and gaining grimaces from everybody else as at least two people try to hand him a napkin at once. 

“Sorry -- your phone lit up again,” Felix wipes his mouth and grins innocently after swallowing his food. His bambi eyes have nothing on Jeongin’s suspicion. 

Puppy-looking bastard: Did your friend just yell my name across the entire cafeteria or am I hearing things? 

“Damn it, Lix,” Jeongin whines, fingers typing at the speed of light. “I don’t know where he is but he heard you.”

“I see him - he’s sitting with someone else. I think his name is Minho?” Hyunjin points, not discreet at all in his actions, and like a tidal wave the entire table apart from Jeongin whip their heads around to blatantly stare. Indeed, the two are sitting together a handful of tables away, occupying a small table meant for two people only. Seungmin has his back turned to the table, but Minho stares holes into them from across the room, piercings glinting in the cheap lighting and eyes slightly narrowed. He looks focused; on what, no one can tell. Jeongin groans loudly and pushes his head into his hands.

“This is more delicious than any food could ever be,” Jisung pushes his plate away and stares at the back of Jeongin’s phone, ready to snatch it back to his and Hyunjin’s side of the table to read the messages once Jeongin lets his guard back down. 

Fake bf-to-be: ignore lix hes a lil shit 

Fake bf-to-be: and arent u sitting w minho? Watch ur mouth saying ur bored next time

Chan snorts. “He just called you a little shit.” 

“He did not! ” Felix gasps, scandalised. Jeongin’s phone buzzes not even a minute later. 

Puppy-looking bastard: Oh, he doesn’t take it personally. We live to roast each other.

And another one, only a few seconds apart. 

Puppy-looking bastard: Your table seems to be gathering quite the amount of limelight, I see.

“Can you all be quiet for just one minute ,” Jeongin threatens. The table falls eerily silent, but everybody’s matching grins offsets the vibe by miles. 

Fake bf-to-be: ignore the rest of them too theyre lil shits

“ Treachery ,” Chan whispers, but otherwise the table stays silent as Jeongin locks his phone and picks up his spoon again. 

“Anyway. Shall we resume?” sickly sweet tones accompany Jeongin’s widely fake smile, and Hyunjin snorts as everyone takes the hint and goes back to eating. 

Despite the series of events, Jeongin doesn’t  end up meeting Seungmin that night, having suffered enough in the cafeteria. Thankfully, Seungmin doesn’t push it. 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

The embarrassment of the cafeteria event got to Jeongin more than he’d like to admit, if he’s completely honest. He’s usually not one to let trivial things bother him, especially not to do with his loud friends, but there’s something about the huge deal being made about the whole Seungmin ordeal that puts Jeongin slightly on edge. Either way - it prevents him from voluntarily meeting the other boy for a good few days, throwing himself into his studies just that little bit more as an excuse to leave texts on delivered. It’s a fair argument, really - now that exams are just two weeks ago he really does have to start cramming the last details. 

It’s exactly four days later when he finally realises how stupid he’s being and actually answers the messages he’s received. 

Puppy-looking bastard: Your friends seem cool. Close-knit, I mean. You’re obviously all very close.

Puppy-looking bastard: Even if none of them are subtle… at all…

Puppy-looking bastard: But regardless, you don’t have to come and hang out if you don’t want to. But the offer stands, I want to know you as best I can before we have to spend Christmas together.

No more messages. Jeongin sighs, running a hand through his hair. At this point, he feels rude replying at all, but the lack of messages in the following days tell Jeongin that Seungmin might be giving him space to reply on his own - and besides, as much as he hates approaching the topic, Seungmin’s right. They need to know quite a bit about each other to fake an entire relationship. 

Fox boy: hey ive been studying im sorry i didnt reply

Fox boy: we can meet today if u want? 

The reply is instantaneous. 

Puppy-looking bastard: Sure! Where and when?

Fox boy: by the trees outside the english block? Half an hour?

Puppy-looking bastard: Cool. 

“How’s the studying going?” is the first thing Seungmin says as he, predictably, skateboards up behind Jeongin, the satisfying sound of wheels against tarmac accompanying a fleeting tap on the shoulder as he speeds past and curves around Jeongin to notify the younger of his presence. Jeongin pulls out his earbuds and watches as Seungmin skids to a halt, hopping off the board and stepping on the end so that he can pick it up without bending down. The hand he uses to steady the board is littered with fresh injuries, and Jeongin looks away quickly. 

“It’s going okay,” he opts to say instead of addressing the obvious injuries, knowing it’s not his place to vocalise physical concerns just yet. “Have you been studying?” 

It only just hit Jeongin that he doesn’t even know what Seungmin studies in the first place. 

“A little,” Seungmin winces, rolling the board on its edge in small circles. “I study literature, so I mostly need to memorise quotes, comments from critics and historical context for each of the texts and poems we study. The critical comments are the hardest.” 

“Oh.” Jeongin wouldn’t have taken Seungmin for a lit student... not that he’d thought about it before, but Seungmin struck him as more of a…. Well, he really didn’t know. What do ‘bad boys’ usually study? Maths? “Which texts are you studying for exams?”

“For these exams specifically we’re being tested on a play, The Duchess of Malfi , and comparing it to a production of our choosing. It doesn’t help that I skipped a few classes this term anyway.” Seungmin cackles. “But they were worth the tricks I learned at the skatepark.” 

He skips classes too, huh , Jeongin thinks. It doesn’t come as too much of a surprise.  

“It’s alright though,” Seungmin carries on, oblivious to Jeongin’s whirring thoughts, “because literature comes to me easily. I don’t have to try too hard to memorise themes, meanings or quotes, which I’m very lucky for.” 

Jeongin stays silent. As silly as it sounds, he feels rendered speechless. 

Seungmin smirks at his silence. “Oh, wait, before I forget to ask again. How long am I being expected to visit with you at Christmas?” 

“Uhm, we usually stay for three weeks. But you don’t have to stay for that long if you don’t want to, I’m sure you have your own family events to attend,” Jeongin says. Seungmin inhales slowly, shaking his head. 

“Nope, I have no family events to attend. How long am I going to be welcome for?”

Oh, so he’s conscious of overstaying? Jeongin suddenly feels a little guilty for his clippedness now that Seungmin is showing such interest in being courteous. The feeling of regret crawls through his veins with cold, slimy hands. He hadn’t really thought about the timeframe at all, all things considered: he’d automatically assumed Seungmin would stay the whole time. 

“I mean, my family won’t mind you staying the entire three weeks. How come you’re not seeing your own family? Are they too far away?” 

Seungmin’s face darkens. “Yeah. Something like that.” 

Oh. Jeongin couldn’t imagine not spending Christmas with family - and perhaps this gives him a boost of empathy and generosity towards the other, struggling to push aside his internalised prejudices. You’re being so stupid, Jeongin. He’s human too. “Well, you’re welcome to stay the entire three weeks, if you’d like. There’s plenty of room.” 

“You’re sure?”

Jeongin exhales, his breath interspersing into the air between them. “Absolutely.” 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

It’s so strange, how both good and bad elements of life act as a remote for the concept of time. 

Speeding it up, pressing pause, pressing play, rewinding… only to fast forward once more. 

The fabric of time is but a social construct, unseen hands warping each second from nanoseconds into hours, into days even… hours exams fly by in a heartbeat and before you know what’s happening, everything is almost over and you’re sitting warm on your bed thinking, where did the time go? Do I have time to prepare for my next one? Everything has gone by so fast I can hardly remember preparing in the first place.

Months of revision and studying, gone in a flash. Exams, gone even faster. And with it, the looming event of Christmas, a time of stress and joy peacefully coexisting in the cold weather, rears its beautiful head before you even realise it’s in front of you. 

Bang. It’s almost here. 

Are you ready for it? 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

One week to go until the ceremonious ending of term for Christmas break, and with it comes the terrifying reality that Jeongin has one week to go until he sees his family, and with them, Seungmin. Exams are almost completely over now; Jeongin has one more to go until he’s completely free, and can finally spend some time unwinding and spending some solid hours with his friends before they depart for the season. 

His last exam passes like a breeze, but it doesn’t stop the unanimous weight of exhaustion, both physical and mental, descending onto Jeongin’s shoulders as soon as the relief of being done with his exams ascends off them. He sighs loudly, rolling his head so that his neck cracks with a satisfying pop as he walks out of the exam hall, fully ready to make a beeline straight for his bed. Oh, the sweet release of sleep.

And sleep he does - Jeongin just manages to remember to toe off his shoes before throwing himself face-first onto his bed, not even bothering to pull his duvet up and over himself before he passes out asleep, where he lays, unmoving, until late into the night. He can’t even bring himself to regret it when he wakes up, simply laughing at the time, 2:34 am , and sitting up, deciding to make some cup ramen to keep his stomach from bothering him before he’ll lay back and attempt to sleep until the morning. 

The only flavour he has left is the spicy kind, but there’s nothing else in his cupboards at the moment, so Jeongin resigns himself to staying awake with bloated cheeks for the next few hours whilst his out-of-sync body tries to get its head around the concept of chilli pepper-hot noodles at such an odd time. It’s this, or feeling unwell due to not eating, and having slept quite a bit since his last exam, Jeongin’s happy to mess up his sleep schedule for a few days in the name of some satisfyingly hot mouthfuls of no nutritional value . 

Whilst the ramen is cooking on the semi-functional, university-supplied stove, Jeongin pulls his phone out of his pocket, thankful that both sound and vibrate mode had been kept switched off due to his exams, or else judging by the insane amount of notifications he would not have slept as well as he just had. 

He has several from his group chat consisting of himself, Jisung, Chan, Hyunjin and Felix - what a mouthful - and then a few from outside the group chat, namely from Chan and Felix. And… also from Seungmin. 

He opens those first. 

Puppy-looking Bastard: Hey, your exams are over now right?

Puppy-looking Bastard: I hope they went well. Would you like to hang out soon again? I have more questions regarding Christmas.

Oh yeah , Jeongin realises - they still have a lot of guidelines and boundaries to set, not to mention the room arrangements Jeongin’s parents had made for the two. That’s a conversation in itself, nevermind everything else: and one that had best be done after a good night’s sleep. 

Although, really, hadn’t Jeongin just gotten a lovely , long sleep in? The only question would be whether Seungmin is also awake. Sue Jeongin, something about being awake at such an odd hour of the morning makes him feel a little more confident in his actions than usual.

Fox boy: yeah theyre over thank u

Fox boy: and yh… i forgot abt those details up until now OOPS,, i mean im free now if you are

The reply is instantaneous. Jeongin doesn’t know whether or not to feel surprised.

Puppy-looking Bastard: Nice. Meet outside your dorm building? 

How do you know where my dorm building is, Jeongin thinks, scandalised, before he slaps himself mentally - it’s not hard to work out where one’s dorm is when there are two blocks of buildings in the first place. Get spotted going into one doorway once and bam, you’ve successfully worked it out - and Jeongin wouldn’t be surprised if he and Seungmin share a building, either. The handful of times they’ve managed to hang out in the past few weeks gives quite easy ways of spotting which way the other would walk on their respective ways back to their dorm rooms - it’s not hard to work out. 

Fox boy: hang on i just gotta eat this ramen rlly quick 

Puppy-looking Bastard: No problem. Take your time.

Bubbling away on the stove, the ramen is already nearing readiness, and Jeongin pulls a change of clothes out of his drawers whilst it simmers for the last few minutes, not wanting to be seen outside in his wrinkled, slept-in clothes. 

Seen by who , exactly? It’s dark outside and there’s bound to be little, if any, people outside apart from Seungmin. 

And it’s not like Jeongin cares for Seungmin’s opinion.

He picks out a fresh pair of sweats and his favourite hoodie anyway, opting for glasses instead of putting contacts in at the pointless hour of two am. (Thank goodness he’d worn glasses to his final exam, too, because he definitely would have forgotten to remove his contacts before sleeping. And that would have been disastrous .) 

If he shovels the piping hot ramen, mouthful by mouthful, into his body and inhales it like it’s his last day on earth, well, there’s nobody there to judge him! He just doesn’t want to keep anyone waiting in the cold outside for longer than he can help. That’s it. 

Hot-footing it down the stairs two at a time, Jeongin rounds the corner directly to the right of the front entrance to his dorm building only to come face-to-face with Kim Seungmin himself, scaring him so suddenly that he yelps in fright, making Seungmin cackle with laughter. 

“It’s me, who else would it be?” He squeezes out through his mirth, and Jeongin narrows his eyes, feigning anger. 

“It’s two am, it could have been anyone! Why were you hiding like that?” 

“I wasn’t hiding, you just weren’t looking enough,” Seungmin dismisses, standing up straight and beginning to walk away, gesturing with his head for Jeongin to follow. “Come on.”

“No skateboard tonight?” 

“It echoes too much at night. I don’t wanna accidentally keep people up with the noise,” Seungmin waves it off, and Jeongin’s being seems to internally stop for a second. Oh.  

That’s actually… really kind. Considerate, even. It’s a lovely thing to think about, really…

“So where are you taking me, skateboard-less man?” Cover up the thoughts with lowkey teasing. Works a charm. 

Seungmin grins devilishly, lip piercing glinting in the moonlight, and Jeongin shivers involuntarily. “Oh, just your murder location.”

“Ah, I knew it,” Jeongin deadpans. “I could feel it in my bones.” 

“Okay, no, but there are better places than outside to sit and talk at two in the morning. Unless you want to sit down out here in the cold?” Oh, Jeongin likes this snarky side of Seungmin more than he thought he would. 

“Hmm, I don’t know. Sitting on the frosty concrete sounds like an amazing way to go.” 

“Not allowed. We’re going to my dorm room,” Seungmin finally announces, and Jeongin scoffs. 

“We could have gone back up to mine! Why’d you walk all the way over here?” 

Seungmin pauses, waits, walks again, much to Jeongin’s chagrin. “I like midnight walks. They’re soothing.” 

Soothing . They are, really: Seungmin has a point. The solitude of the night when everybody else is sleeping, the knowledge that you’re likely the only person out here under the stars as everything else slows to a halt, rendering you to simply exist with no expectations… it’s as soothing to the soul as a good lo fi playlist. 

Talking as they walk, Seungmin keeps Jeongin’s mind occupied for their entire journey to the other side of campus, where Seungmin’s dorm is presumably located - it had better be where they’re headed, because the cold is beginning to really sink into Jeongin’s system through his frustratingly thin hoodie, considering the temperatures, and he wants nothing more than to get inside a nice, warm building again. 

“... and I was telling Minho the other day -- you know Minho, right Jeongin?” 

Jeongin nods slowly. “I think so. Dark hair, cat eyes, was sitting with you that time my friends were yelling about you in the cafeteria?” 

“The very same. Anyway, I was telling him about the whole fake-relationship thing, and he said it was the strangest thing he’d ever heard in his life - which… which is funny because he’s actually Deaf, I should have checked whether you knew about that before telling you this story, actually. It would have been a lot more funny.” 

Jeongin didn’t know that. "Minho's Deaf?” 

“Yep, with a capital D. Deaf since birth. Which makes it funny , because he said it was the strangest thing he’d ever heard .” 

Slowly beginning to laugh, Jeongin can see the humour in that. “So, you know sign language? Or do you guys text to communicate?” 

“Oh, I learned sign language once we became friends, yeah.” Throwing open the door to his dorm building, Seungmin steps aside to let Jeongin in first. Courteous. “I think I’ve gotten pretty good these past few years.” 

“You learned it specially for him?” 

“Yeah,” Seungmin sounds confused now, as they pass the elevator - lift closed, it says with sharpie-inked paper tacked onto the door - “he had no other friends apart from his interpreter, which would clearly get pretty lonely. Wouldn’t you learn it too, if one of your friends needed it?” 

The question reverberates up and down the empty corridor, and in the artificial, harsh lighting of the building Jeongin can clearly see the fresh wounds on Seungmin’s knuckles. But for the first time, he chooses not to focus on the physical reminders of Seungmin’s less-than-pacified hobbies. The question that the boy in question just uttered surrounds Jeongin in endless waves instead, bouncing from wall to wall of his skull in quick, irritating succession. Would you do it too?  

Huh. Jeongin hadn’t considered that side of it. “Yeah, of course,” He says, and as Seungmin smiles at him before launching into another animated story of his and Minho’s endeavours since becoming friends, a sudden thought cascades down onto Jeongin’s head, almost knocking him out with its sheer weight and strength.

This entire time , Jeongin thinks incredulously, this whole time I’ve been so preoccupied with trying to break free of my own internalised labels, but in doing so I’ve been projecting all sorts of labels onto Seungmin. He resists the urge to sigh and kick himself, shame bleeding into his being through every pore and follicle he’s aware of having. 

He’s so stupid - this entire time he’s been thinking, disruptive , skateboarder, fighter, and immediately pushing Seungmin into a tiny, handheld box of labels that accumulate to only his general reputation: that of a bad boy. 

But this Seungmin: the one who walks so lightly beside Jeongin that he’s almost skipping; the one who listens to Chopin and Mozart and the occasional bout of Weki Meki; the person who visibly inflates with excitement when talking about the texts he studies in class and about the most recent connection he’s made to them in real-life events -- 

God, Jeongin has been so stupid.

Kind, empathetic, understanding Seungmin. Seungmin who learned sign language to the point of flawless fluency so that he could befriend Minho and communicate with him more easily. 

Kim Seungmin, the boy who’s finally managed to unknowingly prove to Jeongin that people really can be more than one thing, and that labels are absolutely shit compared to what people really are on the inside. 

The realisation dawns on him like the sunrise after a thousand days of nighttime, and Jeongin finds himself listening to Seungmin’s ramblings with even more vigour than last time - because he’ll be absolutely damned if he’s ever going to internalise, or project, the idea of labels onto himself, or anybody else, ever, ever again. 

Seungmin is like a black hole: and upon tonight’s further inspection and study, Jeongin finds that he’s so much more beautiful than terrifying after all.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

“So you mean to tell me, ” Hyunjin all but gasps the next day, “that not only did you go and meet Seungmin at two in the morning , but you also went to his dorm room and stayed there, talking until the sun came up?” he throws himself backwards onto his bed and makes a strangulated noise in the back of his throat. 

The elder had found Jeongin trying (read: failing, once Hyunjin appeared) to exit the dorm building an hour earlier, at eight o’clock, and had grabbed him, immediately messaging Felix and Jisung to join them in Hyunjin’s room asap. 

( “What are you doing exiting this building so early in the morning, dear Jeongie?” 

“Ugh, let me go!”

“Not until you tell me what you were doing here that doesn’t involve your best friend.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Me, Jeongin. Stop squirming about so much!”

“It’s none of your business what I was doing here.”

“Oh, it is now. Up we go!”)

“You sound like a distressed whale,” Jisung comments offhandedly, and Felix high-fives him. “But seriously, dude. That’s come next-level shit you got going there and you’re not even fake-dating yet.” 

“I heard he fought someone again,” Felix checks his nails. “Kid was beaten, again. He seems victorious every time, now that I’ve started being more aware of the stories about him.” 

Fought someone again . Images of red-stained knuckles and winces that came with accidental contact flash behind Jeongin’s eyelids.

“Can we not talk about this?” Jeongin whines, higher in pitch even than Hyunjin, which is a feat in itself. “I’m shattered.” Shuffling over to Hyunjin’s bed, he lets himself fall until his weary bones hit the mattress beneath him, and feels Hyunjin moving over to make room. 

“If we let you nap will you let us in on all the details afterwards?” Felix bribes, eyes visibly huge even through Jeongin’s squinted eyelids, and the youngest sighs, using a heavy hand to push his friend’s face away from his own. 

“If you’re lucky. Now hush,” he says, and closes his eyes, letting himself fall asleep to his friends’ considerate whispering and the feeling of Hyunjin’s fingers carding through his hair. 

It’s right as he succumbs to the darkness that he realises that not a single word of details for Christmas had been further discussed between himself and Seungmin just yet. 

“Hey, he’s awake!” Jeongin grimaces at the sound of Felix’s booming voice directed right into his ear canal. He’s all for listening to his friends - mostly - but not when they’re so invasively close that every decibel rocks every cell in his body to destruction. 

Promptly yelling out at the pain the loudness brought, Jeongin flails his arms about as he sits straight upright, dazed and confused as the last tendrils of his dream float away, unable to be grasped and remembered. He sighs, setting it free without a fight.

“All nice and refreshed, I see, now tell us about last night, you’re so sexy, aha -- smack me again, I dare you-”  

“Hey, so I just realised that Seungmin and I haven’t actually discussed the details about what’ll be happening on break, and there’s been no boundary talk or arrangement explanations, so I gotta go.” Excuses, excuses - and Jeongin is certainly full of excuses today. 

“No way are you pulling a sneaky nap-and-run on me, Jeongin-” Hyunjin’s incredulous voice whines, and Jisung chimes in with inventive verbal prevention of his own.

“Yang Jeongin, if you slip past our fingers again like the slimy carp you are-”

“Hey, Innie, Seungmin will probably be napping too if you kept him up all night,” Felix sweet talks, his voice sickeningly saccharine and grating on Jeongin’s ears as if it were nails on a blackboard. “It would be a shame to wake him.” 

“Don’t twist my emotions like this, you know I have no remorse in waking my friends no matter the time of day or night,” Jeongin narrows his eyes, but relaxes back onto the bed, which his friends take as his relinquishment of power - which it is - and leap onto the mattress beside him. It’s a horrible squish. Jeongin should complain about it. 

(He doesn’t.) 

“So, I reinstate: what exactly were you and your loverboy talking about for so long that you completely forgot about the imminent Christmas deal you both made, then?” Jisung, as usual, wastes no time in trying to weasel his way into the middle of the group, slotting himself in between Hyunjin and Jeongin himself. 

“How many times do I have to tell you that he’s not? And just… stuff,” Jeongin gestures vaguely, “the kind of stuff you talk about when you’re becoming friends with somebody.” 

(Seungmin had given Jeongin a brief synopsis of the latest book he’d read and then conversed with him about theories and analysis he’d thought of since reading it, with Jeongin giving his own fifty cents wherever he saw fit. It was nice, relaxing even - they just existed for a bit (for a great few hours) and conspired together, before watching YouTube videos of unsolved murders and discussing those too. 

Jeongin had never thought to watch those videos before then. The fact that it had been extra dark outside had only solidified the eerie atmosphere surrounding them, and Jeongin had found exhileration instead of fear at the feeling of being wrapped up in Seungmin’s blanket, sitting next to the other as they played detective, trying to figure out and debunk mysteries. 

It was certainly not the first thing one does when setting out to establish a friendship with somebody by any means, and Jeongin still hasn’t the first clue about a lot of Seungmin’s interests or anything like that - but that time spent together seemed to… solidify their growing friendship. Jeongin knows now he can just exist without having to talk much, and Seungmin just understands and finds ways to entertain him without having to participate too much. 

It felt freeing.) 

“Like what then? Did you find out his favourite colour?” 

“No, but I’d guess black? He wears a lot of it,” Jeongin suggests helplessly. “He likes watching unsolved murder documentaries and trying to solve them.”

“That’s so sexy of him,” Felix sighs, mid-giggle. “Hey, do you think if you died in mysterious circumstances he’d try to solve your mystery too?” 

Jeongin reaches across Jisung and Hyunjin to swat at Felix, who leans away, almost falling off the bed with a cackle. 

“If you die in unsolved circumstances I’ll be sure to pass the police evidence over to him.” 

Felix pouts, crossing his arms. “You love me.”

“Unfortunately, I do.”

Jisung whines. “And me?” 

“All of you.” 

“Innie, ” Hyunjin throws his legs into the air in a mock-tantrum, “we love you too.” 

Jeongin hums, and for once he lets himself bask in his friends’ love rather than pretending to be disgusted. They see right through his acting anyway. “Let’s watch a Christmas movie and laugh at it.” 

“You got it, boss,” Hyunjin, already sniggering behind his hand, grabs his laptop and opens it up. “I have the perfect one in mind.”

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

It’s nighttime, and the sky is cloudy outside, hiding the stars from view as they wrap the earth in a fluffy blanket of shadowed grey. Inside Jeongin’s dorm room; he as well as Hyunjin Felix sit swaddled in blankets, not a goosebump of chills to be felt through the warmth that thermal material and friendship brings with it. 

Jeongin’s suitcase is packed and sits prettily at the foot of his bed, ready to be joined by his coat and favourite pillow when he and Seungmin leave tomorrow, a physical reminder that makes Jeongin’s heart lurch for reasons unnamed every time he looks over at it. Tonight is a night for friends; Jisung, Hyunjin and Felix lounge around as they talk and sip from mugs of hot chocolate and talk about anything and everything under the sun as if it’s the last chance they’ll ever get. 

Which it is . In person, for a few weeks, anyway. Cut them some slack.

Unseen and unheard, rain begins to fall in gentle torrents outside, hitting the window with inaudible pattering that’s masked by the lo fi playlist playing from Hyunjin’s spotify playlist. The droplets leave minuscule marks; a new texture on the otherwise smooth surface. 

Felix rolls onto his back on Jeongin’s bed as he talks, complaining about his current class professor, a substitute for his usual professor, who’s currently off on maternity leave. In comparison to her kind, gentle mannerisms, this new placement is harsh on those who struggle and strict with rules and guidelines, directly clashing with Felix’s preference for a working environment. 

“And he’s so horrible ; yesterday he called someone out because they didn’t know the answer because his way of explanation didn’t fit their way of learning,” Felix grumbles, his blanket falling off his torso as he throws his arms at the ceiling. “That’s his fault, not my classmates’! A terrible teaching outlook -- if a student doesn’t understand then you’re supposed to help them with varying approaches, not blame them and carry on!” 

“I still have a lighter somewhere around here if you want me to set fire to his car,” Jeongin quips, only half joking as he picks at his nails. Hyunjin’s head shoots up, eyes wide, at the same time that a huge grin spreads across Jisung’s face with pre delight.

“Not again, Jeongin, if we can go one year without arson-” 

“It’s effective! Not to mention memorable-”

“Thanks, Innie, but no thanks,” Felix grins, previous complaining forgotten as he sits back up. “I’ll compose a strongly worded email and send it to the higher-ups in my department. Hopefully we can get him fired and replaced.” 

“Arson is always the answer,” Jisung mumbles in agreement with Jeongin, and Hyunjin huffs next to him, sounding both disbelieving and amused. 

“Anyway! How’s it going with lover boy, hmm?” Felix asks, planting his head into Jeongin’s lap roughly, the force of it sending pain shooting through the younger’s thigh muscles. Jeongin groans and rolls his eyes. 

“He’s not my lover boy, first of all. You sound awfully unapologetic for somebody who got me into this entire mess in the first place,” Jeongin deflects expertly - but not expertly enough. Unfortunately, years of close friendship have trained both Felix and Hyunjin up perfectly to detect whenever he tries to avoid the subject, picking up on his internal panic like human metal detectors. Beep, beep, beep - Jeongin’s diverting.  

“Don’t change the subject, you sneaky sexy thing,” Hyunjin snickers into the back of his hand, eyes filling with delicious glee as the alarm of being caught flits across Jeongin’s face. “You’ve been friends for a good month or so now; you can’t tell us there’s nothing to know because we have, in fact, witnessed you two together with our own fine eyes.” 

There’s silence for a moment, and laughter hangs silently in the air before Jeongin acknowledges defeat with the slump of his shoulders. “There’s not much to be said, really.” 

“Well, how’s it going altogether? Are you two good enough friends to comfortably fake a relationship in front of your family? To hold hands? Possibly even kiss if you’re challenged by anyone?” Felix keeps going, making things worse and worse for Jeongin, whose face turns a pleasant shade of ruby at the words, holds hands and, even worse, kiss . 

“He’s blushing! ”

“Shut the fuck your mouth,” Jeongin swears eloquently, and Jisung, Felix and Hyunjin cackle in harmony, three witches on either side of him; he’s boxed within a triangle of evil. “It’ll be… different , that’s for sure.”

“I’ll tell you what’s different. His hot friend from the cafeteria. He’s so pretty ,” Jisung sighs out of nowhere, and Hyunjin smacks him on the arm.

“Tonight is not the night to thirst over Seungmin’s hot friends,” he reprimands, and Jisung snickers. 

“Good luck talking to him if you don’t know sign language,” Jeongin supplies helpfully, and Jisung’s face clouds with confusion, mouth opening to ask an entire tirade of questions but Hyunjin cuts him off with a fluid hand to the mouth. 

Felix, however, had ignored this entire interaction, and was still very much stuck on Jeongin’s earlier deflections and, having caught Jeongin’s eye very conveniently, knew that their youngest would catch onto exactly what he was about to say.

Smirking evilly, and practically vibrating in his seat as he grins at Jeongin with his eyes burning with what can only be described as exhilarated hellfire, Felix slowly rises from his cross-legged position on the bed. “You mean to tell me-”

“ Don’t vocalise it! ” Jeongin begs, eyes squeezed closed tightly as if lack of sight could ever protect him from the onslaught of bullying he’s about to receive. “I don’t want it to become any more real than it needs to be.” 

Hyunjin laughs loudly and Jeongin feels rather than sees him flop against him, full bodyweight almost sending the youngest sprawling sideways as he rubs his cheek against Jeongin’s arm, catlike. “You’re growing up, Innie,” he mock-cries, hands batting unhelpfully at Jeongin’s face. Jeongin whacks them away, reopening his eyes for the sole purpose of using them to send death-glares to his friends. The smack of skin against skin resounds satisfyingly loudly around the room, drawing a giggle from all three friends.

“I have to say, Jeongin going on holiday with Seungmin in these circumstances is almost cliche,” Felix drawls, ominous smile returning. “I’ve read enough fanfiction to know where this is headed.” 

“You read fanfiction?” Wrinkling his nose, Hyunjin feigns disgust. “Please tell me it’s not self-insert.”

“ No! ” 

Jeongin opts to pick up his phone as the two bicker, his own dilemma seemingly forgotten for the time being. The device buzzes right as he picks it up - it’s Chan. 

Do Not Answer: hey innie we haven’t hung out in a while :( are u free soon? 

Fox Son: yh im with felix jisung n hyunjin right now actually if you wanna join? We’re at my dorm room

Do Not Answer: oh sweet sure! I’ll come over soon, just gotta finish up these lyrics

“Guys, guys, Chan is coming over soon,” Jeongin interjects over the catfight that’s started on the bed, and two heads whip around to stare at him from positions that mimic a Twister disaster. 

“Chan? Bang Chan?” Felix repeats, as if they know any other Chan well enough to simply invite over out of the blue. 

“The very same.” Turning his phone to show Felix the screen, Jeongin ignores the way Jisung explodes into indulgent cackles at the affectionately harsh contact name. In unison with Jisung’s reaction, Felix visibly panics, scrambling out from beneath Hyunjin - the elder had pinned him down priorly - and rushes to open his front camera on his phone, fixing his hair so that it falls just so. Now it’s Jeongin’s turn to cackle. 

“Good luck teasing me about my own fate when Chan’s about to be right here too, Felixie,” he croons with mock sympathy. This is going to be fun. 

Previous dilemmas forgotten, the three scramble about to order food for before Chan arrives, deciding to order bibimbap and japchae from their local takeaway so that hopefully, by the time their eldest finishes up and joins them, he’ll be greeted with hot food -- goodness knows he’d likely forgotten to eat if he’d spent the day making music. And as much as Chan worried about themselves not eating enough or regularly, he was just as bad at looking after himself as the rest of them. It felt nice; warm, in a way, to be the ones taking care of him for a change, even just to make sure he remembers to eat proper food for one night. 

“If I steal Lix’s chopsticks then Chan will have to feed him using his own,” Hyunjin schemes, rubbing his hands together at the thought of all the trouble he has the opportunity to run rampant with now that Chan is coming over. Jisung cackles, eyes bright with mischief at Hyunjin’s words.

“Good luck with that, because you’re forgetting Jeongin literally has spares, and forks and spoons too here,” Felix shoots back without missing a beat. “And if you do that and I get my hands on a fork it’s over for your eyeballs.”

Hyunjin’s eyes grow wide. “Jeongie, help me,” he whines, using Jeongin as a human shield as Felix sits, unmoving, staring holes into the dancer’s head.

“You’re on your own,” Jeongin and Jisung both scramble away from Hyunjin’s weak grip on both of their arms and opt to sit on the floor instead, cackling as Felix lunges straight for Hyunjin now that he’s without protection from certain death.

By the looks of it, it’s going to be a chaotic night.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

The next morning, Jeongin and Seungmin sit in amicable silence within Seungmin's car, Seungmin himself humming quietly as he drives. It's a comfortable atmosphere, but the pressing matter of boundary discussion prompts the breaching of it. 

“Seungmin~” Jeongin whines, struggling against his seatbelt to turn and face Seungmin, who keeps his eyes on the road, steady and unwavering. 

If watching him drive is weirdly attractive, Jeongin says nothing about it. He’s certainly not thinking about it. Nope. Absolutely not. 

“Yes?” 

“All of our meet-ups recently were originally supposed to be regarding the boundaries we’re setting for this holiday, and our backstory to tell my parents, and sleeping arrangements, and yet we’ve discussed nothing yet. We have to work everything out before we there or else it’ll wind up a mess.” 

The car is silent for a minute or two as Seungmin watches google maps on his phone showing him which route he needs to take next. Once they’re safely onto the next road, he glances to his side, where Jeongin is staring at him, awaiting an answer. 

“Okay, so boundaries first, because they’re the most important. How much skinship are you comfortable with?” Seungmin reasons, straight to the point. 

“Uhh…” that’s a loaded question if Jeongin’s ever heard one. “I mean, I’m not too touchy as a person, to be completely honest. But I always thought that if I found someone I was really comfortable with it might change…” 

“Hm.” Sensing Jeongin’s uneasiness, Seungmin takes the wheel of the conversation too. “Well, personally I’m fine with going as heavy on the affection as needed, so you don’t have to worry about saying things I won’t agree on.” 

Think, think. What is it that couples do? Jeongin’s completely blanked, feeling like somebody’s come up to his brain with a wet sponge and wiped the slate completely clean, leaving only smoky smudges of water behind. 

“Hand holding?” 

Seungmin chuckles quietly, eyes still hyper focused on the road ahead. “What about it?”

“I’m up for it. That’ll make it look real, right? That’s what couples do.”

Oh, Seungmin is definitely finding this too amusing for his own good. “Yes, it is. Not all couples, though. It depends on how touchy each individual is and how comfortable they are showing PDA.” 

Jeongin hadn’t thought of it like that… to him, couples all acted the same. It didn’t occur to him that yes, every person is unique in themselves and have their own boundaries and preferences that would make each relationship vary and appear different depending on who was included in it…. Oops . 

“Well, I’m comfortable with hand holding,” he decides resolutely, sitting up a little straighter in his seat. Affection won’t hurt, anyway, and if he suddenly decides to not like it, he can just tell Seungmin. He won’t mind, Jeongin knows it. 

“I hate to ask this, but just in case it does happen - how comfortable are you with kissing?” 

Jeongin’s entire body flushes red, and he wiggles back in his seat to face forward again faster than he’s ever moved in his entire life. And probably any past lives, too. 

“Uh-”

“Just in case! Covering all bases here so we don’t get caught off guard.” 

Sweating beneath his clothes, Jeongin looks out of the window, hoping to hide the way he’s reacting from Seungmin. Sure, he’s kissed people before - but never people he was dating. Or fake-dating, for that matter. A truth-or-dare smooch here, a friendly peck there, and all of them were the result of a little too much alcohol among his friends. They’ve never meant anything - and if he were to kiss Seungmin during this holiday too, it wouldn’t mean anything either, right? 

That’s where the confusion comes in. 

The idea of kissing Seungmin makes Jeongin dizzy; his heart suddenly pounding in his chest; palms clammy and mind racing. Is it because he knows it’ll look like he means it in front of his family, or will he want a potential kiss to hold meaning like that? 

And why does he suddenly want to go through with it? 

“No mouth kisses,” Jeongin mumbles, staring resolutely at his lap. “I’m okay with… with face kisses. But no direct ones… I doubt we’ll get questioned about things anyway, but the occasional - I don’t know - forehead kiss? Or similar? - should suffice in terms of realism.”

“You got it,” Seungmin responds, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel to a foreign beat Jeongin can’t quite make out. “What about general closeness? Am I okay to put an arm around you sometimes, and stuff like that?” 

Why does Jeongin feel like his entire muscular system stopped working for a system at those words? 

“Y-yeah. That’s fine.” I’d like that.  

“Okay, and I’m fine with everything being reciprocated too, if and when you’re ever comfortable with doing so. Onto the next question: our backstory? Should we just keep it as honest as possible?” Seungmin asks kindly, and Jeongin appreciates the fact that he’s not trying to overcomplicate things at all. 

“Yeah, sounds good. We met at a party, you stepped in when that guy and his friends started getting threatening, and the rest was history?”

“And the rest was history,” Seungmin nods and agrees, switching gears and leaning back in his seat as he slows down to abide by the road signs. “And, lastly - did you mention sleeping arrangements?”

“Yeah, about that… mother called last night and told us that she’d called in advance to decorate, uh, our room for Christmas beforehand, which means we’ll be sharing a room -- I can call her back and ask if there’s a spare room though?” Why doesn’t he remember how many extra rooms there are from their previous visits?

“Oh, it should be fine. Wouldn’t it look suspicious if we asked to room separately?” It seems as if Seungmin is putting a lot more thought into this than Jeongin in terms of making it realistic .

“I suppose you’re right. You do realise we’d most likely be sharing a bed, though?” Jeongin’s head is spinning again. He’s in a washing machine full of cliche tropes that Felix would no doubt be screaming at right now. He makes a mental note to stay away from telling him - or any of their friends for that matter - about this tiny, minuscule detail for now.

“Part of the fun.” Seungmin smirks at him, and the car speeds up as they finally hit the motorway, speeding down the highway with all the smooth-sailing of the Titanic. “I hope you don’t snore in your sleep!”

“I hope you’re ready to be kicked off the mattress three times a night,” Jeongin says sweetly, the words strangely specific, and Seungmin snorts beside him.

Yeah, they can do this.

It’s going to be just fine.