Archive of Our Own

To be fair it’s not like he hasn’t tried to get into a long term relationship - he goes on plenty of dates and meets plenty of interesting people, it’s just the intersection between normality and the sorcery world is often two mutually exclusive circles, and drawing an ordinary person into the fold is a death sentence. Gojo really is limited somewhat in who he can feasibly spend the rest of his life with, another sorcerer would be easiest, someone who can at least understand the work they do, the effort and the toll it takes. Unfortunately being restricted to the sorcery world also means there’s a sizeable pool of people who will only date him because of his name, and his family, and his wealth. Not so much because it’s Satoru, more that it’s Gojo. It leaves him with a bitter taste. 

But, Gojo Satoru doesn’t give up easily, and after months of being pestered and pressured, he came up with a fantastic, fool proof solution.

“I am seeing someone.”

“Who? You’ve said this countless times before, what’s their name? What family do they come from?”

“Utahime.”

“The Iori girl?” 

“Yup.”

The elders grumble amongst themselves, muttering furiously as they debate over his choice in partners. But this one is a no brainer - Utahime comes from a small but well respected sorcerer family, and she’s known to be hard-working and responsible, a fellow teacher at the technical school and to top of it a pretty strong sorcerer herself. The perfect package for the elders. He can’t believe he didn’t think about this sooner.

He congratulates himself a little too soon.

“Very well, bring her to the next family dinner then, Satoru.”

Ah. 

Oh fuck.

Utahime’s going to kill him.

Utahime is enjoying the quiet afternoon, having finished her classes almost an hour and a half ago and now leisurely packing away her items. It’s nice and peaceful and quiet and of course it doesn’t last because Gojo Satoru is in Kyoto for some cursed reason.

“U-ta-hime! Fancy seeing you here–“

“I’m busy,” She says immediately, shovelling the rest of her stuff into the bag and making for the door. Utahime gets her hand on the handle, pulling it open only to have Gojo loom over her from behind and slam it shut again.

He springs away before she can elbow him in the ribs for being so disrespectful, slamming doors like he owns the place, “Wait wait aha don’t get mad! I just came here to tell you something important.”

That’s just a very long way of saying ‘pay attention to me’ and she ignores it, reaching for the door again.

“I told my family we’re dating.”

Utahime’s hand hovers over the door.

“What?!”

Presently they’re sitting in a popular Kyoto cafe, sharing a bowl of shaved ice. Utahime refrains from stabbing his eyes out with her spoon as explains the situation. 

“So, date me?”

“You–!” She jabs at him with the long spoon, “How can you just say that!”

“C’mon, it’s not that big of a deal! Just come to the dinner with me, act nice–“

“I am nice.”

“–and responsible and it’ll be over in a flash!”

Utahime glares. Gojo gives her his best, charming smile, the kind that gets hearts to melt and girls to ask for his number. She doesn’t even waver, and her gaze is piercing enough to make him feel like he’s forgotten to wear his blindfold altogether. 

“I’ll buy all the beer you want for the rest of the week?” He offers tentatively, “The next two weeks? I’ll pay for all your food too!”

She sighs, “Is there no one else you could have asked?”

“Nope,” He says, popping the ‘p’ sound, “They’re already sceptical because I’ve lied about seeing people in the past, so I have to make this one believable.”

“Why couldn’t you just say you weren’t seeing anyone?”

“Because they’ve been annoying me to get married! I’m so young! In the peak of my youth–“

“Gojo you’re twenty eight–“

“And I also don’t want to let my grandmother down, she’s the only one I like, and she was really excited when I said I was seeing someone.”

“Oh my god you– tell her you lied!”

“I can’t do that to my sweet, poor, grandmother! Utahime! You monster! How could you even suggest that!” He cries out, dramatic as ever.

Utahime buries her face in her hands, forced to contend with the fact that this will probably be one most mortifying things she’ll ever do in her life. She doesn’t mind Gojo on a regular day, he brought sweets and souvenirs to them regularly and when he wasn’t being a nuisance he could be fun to hang out with. Sometimes. Heavy emphasis on the sometimes. Utahime knows how complicated family can be though, and she supposes it must be rough to be the Gojo heir, and possess both the Six Eyes and Limitless ability at the same time, and find a date that the family approves of. Someone who's worthy enough. Not that she thinks she's good enough, but judging by Gojo's history, the mere fact that she's a sorcerer as well probably lands her some brownie points with his elders.

“One month,” She says, raising her head slightly, “Buy me food and drinks for one months.”

“Done! Perfect! I knew I could count on you darling,” Gojo laughs, reaching across the table to tangle their fingers together, and bringing her hand to his lips, pressing a chaste kiss to the back of her knuckles.

Utahime snatches her hand away like it’s been burned, face red as she tries to form words.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night!” He calls as he dances out of the cafe, waving happily on the way out. 

The words register a moment later, “Tomorrow? What? Tomorrow? Gojo, wait a minute you asshole!” 

Utahime spends the whole day and a half stressing about the dinner. She’d spent the last hour practicing responses, texting Gojo the details of their narrative to avoid any pitfalls, like the fact that if anyone asks they’ve been dating for four months and it started after a mission. True to his nature he didn’t seem to care about the small intricacies, and she bites at her nail, reading over his last, incredibly unhelpful message.

six eyed dumbass #1

don’t sweat the small stuff!!! you’ll do great

i expect nothing less from my girlfriend :3

She exhales, there’s nothing else she can do to prepare. She waits.

Gojo arrives late.

Utahime is freaking out by the time he pulls up outside her apartment and she rushes down, tempted to just jump from the second floor to save them a minute’s time. 

“You’re late! We’re going to be late!” 

Gojo only whistles, he’s wearing his shades today and his eyes slide down from her face to the hem of her dark skirt, “Wow~ So you can dress up! Aren’t I lucky,” He grins.

“Gojo I swear–“

“Satoru,” He corrects as he starts up the engine again, “You can’t call me Gojo, we’ve been dating for three months already–“

“Four,” She says, “Did you read anything I sent you?” Utahime is panicking just a little bit more now.

“I know I know I’m just messing with you!” 

Utahime shoved her seatbelt on and presses her head back against the seat, running her temples. She doesn’t think she’s going to make it out of this dinner alive. What was she thinking. Dinner, with the Gojo family, pretending to be their precious heir’s girlfriend. They’ll see through her in an instant. It doesn’t matter if Gojo’s called out on the charade, he’s done it before. It’s another thing for her to be caught up in such a bold faced lie. What she wouldn't give to be called away on an emergency mission right now. 

“I can’t believe I’m doing this, this is such a bad idea,” She whispers, more to herself than anything. How is she supposed to convince anyone they’re dating? 

Utahime’s so caught up in her anxious internal dialogue she doesn’t notice the look of concern from Gojo. Or that he’d lifted a hand off the wheel to reach out to her in hopes of offering some comfort - only to hesitate, and pull back a moment later and grip the steering wheel just a little tighter, expression indescribable. 

“Is dating me such a bad thing?” He teases, tone not quite cheerful.

Utahime groans, “Yes,” She says, because he’s impossible. He gave her one day! One day to figure out a narrative, figure out how she’s going to play the perfect, ideal partner for his family and not be called out for being a complete and utter mess instead. Why would Gojo realistically ask to date her anyways? How is he going to explain that to the family. She rubs at her face, fingers brushing against the raised skin of the scar that runs almost horizontally across the bridge of her nose. She catches her reflection in the mirror and sighs. Utahime has come to terms with the scar long before, she’d never had cause to be self conscious about it before. Her line of work is prone to injury, some scars are preferable to death. But she’s aware it doesn’t exactly help her case when trying to impress someone’s family. It’s not an appealing mark, it’s raw and ugly and too large to be covered up with makeup. 

Gojo is silent for a moment, staring straight ahead, “It’s just for tonight,” He says quietly, “And then it’s back to the normal.”

Utahime nods along, keeping her eyes fixed on the scenery that changes to try and force down the nerves, “One night,” She repeats, okay, she can survive for one night. 

The dinner is fine. It’s going fine. They were welcomed in, Gojo makes excuses about being fashionably late and they’re seated next to his grandmother, who is nice enough, if not very severe. 

The basic questions start to roll in and Utahime thanks the lords above that she’d spent a good amount of time practicing responses. She goes through them smoothly, answering with what she hopes is enough of a convincing tone to cover up the fact that she nearly calls him Gojo instead of Satoru half a dozen times. 

“Ah, Utahime-dono, how did you get that scar?”

Utahime freezes, “Um, right...it was an...accident,” She lies, and winces right after she finishes her awkward sentence, “From a long time ago,” She finishes lamely, and hopes its enough for them to be satisfied with. The elders at least seem to take the hint that it’s a very wed topic to dig into. At least one of them seems to openly disprove of her blatant deflection but no one challenges her.

“Are you nervous dear?” His grandmother says.

“That’s– Um, I just haven’t had a family dinner in a while,” Utahime says eventually, which is true at least. She senses Gojo’s curious gaze burning into the side of her head, and elects to ignore it, keeping eye contact with his grandmother instead. 

“Well Satoru,” She says eventually, and Utahime sucks in a breath, waking for the verdict, “She’s lovely.”

Utahime puts on her best thankful smile, ducking her head. Internally she’s screaming in relief, she made it.

“I know right!” Gojo laughs, throwing an arm around her shoulder’s casually, “Isn’t she the best?” He presses an obnoxious kiss to her cheek and she fights back the reflex to elbow him in the ribs, turning bright red instead and shoving another dumpling into her mouth instead.

“So you’re also a teacher aren’t you?” One other members asks, “How are your students?”

It’s like the gods have blessed her, and Utahime falls easily into a rhythm of talking about her students, the training, the missions. This is all familiar, comfortable ground for her, and she finds herself almost enjoying the conversation. The elders engaged in it seem to at least be genuinely curious about her work, and compare it to Gojo’s own strange, unorthodox methods. Utahime spends the next half an hour in the easy flow of conversation, and while he anxiousness lessens she can’t help but feel like it’s too good to be true. 

The table seems to accept her, and accept their false narrative. She feels terrible for basically lying to them. They look so pleased that Gojo’s finally stopped messing around. She steals a glance at him, wondering if he’s noticed that the elders seem to be in a much happier mood now, only to find him staring at her, chin resting in the palm of his hand.

“What?” She demands out of habit.

Gojo smiles, lips curving upwards, “Nothing.”

“What are you looking at me like that for then?”

“Do I need a reason to appreciate my girlfriend?”

“You–!” She cuts herself off from using a few choice words that would definitely earn her frowns, “Don’t you have better things to do?”

“Nope!”

Utahime gives up, turning away from him to pour tea for the elder sitting next to her.

There’s a commotion just outside the screens enclosing the dining area. Some shouting, yelling. Utahime sets the teapot down, tensing, ready for a fight. Who the hell would try and attack the Gojo estate directly?

“Let me in!" Comes the muffled shout, unnaturally shrill, "I’m her mother!”

Her heart sinks. Oh no.

The door slams open and her mother stands there in all her fury, eyes shining as they sweep the room. They land on her, and Utahime can pinpoint the moment everything goes to shit.

Her mother smiles sweetly, prettily, sweeping her hair behind her back and closing the door behind her as she steps into the room, “Iori, you stupid stupid girl, stop this sham, did you really think Gojo Satoru would ever choose to see someone as ugly and useless as you?”