Work Text:
Taehyung is in love with Seokjin.
Jimin says that if your crush lasts for more than three years, then it is love. Taehyung doesn't believe in such fruity crap that Jimin spins on that tiny pinky of his. He believes in facts and proofs and even those say the same thing: Taehyung is in love with Seokjin.
It's the silent kind. They met via mutual friends, Jimin and Namjoon. Seokjin is attractive, of course. He's an actor now. Back then, he was a college student, just like Taehyung. He was still pretty much breathtaking. Jungkook had once told Taehyung that he looked pretty breathtaking too, but Taehyung knows that even back then, he Seokjin could easily beat Taehyung in the challenge of Who's better looking?
It doesn't matter much. Taehyung doesn't go down that road a lot of times. He does think about confessing sometimes. Those times are often supplemented with alcohol, which is precisely why those times are rare and mostly in the company of Jimin who teases him to no end the next day.
Other things left aside, Taehyung enjoys being in love with Seokjin. He’s a good man to love. He’s kind, probably the kindest man Taehyung has ever met. He’s also very passionate about his career but not to a degree of sabotaging others. He’s too good for that anyway.
Taehyung isn’t really the kind to pine silently. He isn’t like Namjoon or Jungkook who loved silently, pined till it hurt them and then pined some more. No, Taehyung is a free-spirit, a strong force, someone who doesn’t hide what he feels. But he also isn’t an idiot. He knows that Seokjin doesn’t love him back. There are 3 reasons why.
Reason 1: Taehyung isn’t a muscle pig. And Seokjin is into guys who have the body mass that would be considerably much larger than Taehyung’s. He dated Namjoon for a brief period. That’s how they met. Namjoon was Taehyung and Jimin’s senior and Jimin had been crushing on Namjoon since the first day he saw him. Of course, Jimin was heartbroken while Taehyung had hidden his face in the embarrassment of realising that he suddenly had a crush on a taken man.
That didn’t last long.
Namjoon and Seokjin decided that they were much better friends. Taehyung thought of asking out Seokjin after that. Seokjin had already started sleeping with one of his classmates. Another tall, buff guy called Kim Matthew, this Korean-American student. He was sweet.
Huge and sweet. He lasted a whole six months. After that, a lot of guys came and left. All muscular, and apart from Namjoon, older.
Which was Reason 2: Taehyung is younger than Seokjin. Sure, Taehyung could eat a lot of protein and become buff. He couldn’t go back in time and somehow become older. Seokjin was known to date people of his age or someone older. He said it a lot of times that his relationship with Namjoon worked well because even if he was younger, his thought process was that of a much older man, mature.
Taehyung could forgo those reasons. Maybe they were not consistent. Seokjin could like him.
The only problem is Reason 3: Seokjin doesn’t like Taehyung.
Now that is unavoidable and comes with proof. New Year's Eve, 2 years ago. They were partying at Yoongi’s place. Namjoon and Jimin had just gotten together and Jimin was a little too happy and perhaps a little too happy Jimin made Taehyung a little too happy. He accepted all those glasses of bubbly champagne from Hoseok and soon enough he was standing in the balcony, overlooking the skyline view that was offered from Yoongi’s apartment. Seokjin was prettier than the view. Seokjin is prettier than most things in Taehyung’s life anyway. That night, he was a little drunk too. Not as drunk as Taehyung. Nobody was as drunk as Taehyung. Seokjin was giggling harder, staring at Taehyung more than he normally did and biting his lip every time their eyes met. Taehyung’s head felt heavy so he went to Yoongi’s bedroom to rest. He didn’t get any rest.
Seokjin walked in, tight pants and a flowy blouse, looking like all kinds of hell wrapped up in a sweet blanket. Taehyung just stared at him, kinda tipsy, also kinda lost.
Seokjin joined him on the bed, his hand resting on Taehyung’s thigh. Taehyung looked down, then back up, and Seokjin was close.
Too close.
His breath was on Taehyung’s lips, a faint smell of soju drifting in the air that surrounded them.
Before any of them spoke, they kissed.
Taehyung was too drunk to realise who took the final step. The only thing in his head was the fact that he and Seokjin were making out. He was on Seokjin’s lap, his hands were pulling him impossibly close. Seokjin was right there with him, moaning in his mouth, rough scratches on his back.
Taehyung had thought that that was how his story with Seokjin would begin. That in his New Year, he would have a boyfriend with him.
How wrong he was.
Seokjin had apologised the next day, had said that Taehyung was his friend and they were both drunk. It shouldn’t have happened.
And that was that.
No new boyfriend in the new year.
Now, he’s learned. He keeps a happy distance, loves Seokjin. But he still keeps the distance. Seokjin is affectionate, loves hugs and cuddles. Taehyung does his part, marinates in the warm and fuzzy feeling of friendship that he gets. It is lovely at the edges, soft.
His heart thrums lowly in his chest when he texts Seokjin that he’s coming over. It has been a long day. A day with Jimin and Hoseok.
It was originally supposed to be him shooting for a commercial and then going home. Jimin texted him to come over because Hoseok and him bagged a contract with a label and got signed as choreographers. There was supposed to be a party during the weekend but Jimin is Jimin and Taehyung loves him too much to deny him a small celebration.
“I’ve seen enough of your sad eyes, Tae-Tae. Just let him know that you like him.” Jimin caught Taehyung’s cheeks in both hands.
Hoseok saw them with a sad smile on his face. It was supposed to be a celebration.
“He doesn’t like me like that, Minie. I shouldn’t do something to ruin our friendship too.” Taehyung had tried to reason.
Jimin’s tiny hands scrunched up Taehyung’s T-shirt. Admittedly, it was from work so he didn’t mind. Plus, it was Jimin so even if he did mind, he loved his best friend too much to say anything about it.
“You survived making out with him. You can survive a confession of real feelings.”
Taehyung sighed. He could.
He has the confidence to confess, he just doesn’t like awkward air that would surround them later.
Hoseok’s smile wasn’t as sad as it had been before. He nodded encouragingly.
It had been a topic of long discussions and many many nights of unshed tears. It was not particularly sad, it was just lost in a void of Taehyung’s feelings. He wasn’t pining behind Seokjin, he just loved him. There was no other way to talk about it.
“I should.” He said to Hoseok, instead of Jimin.
He got the hug from Jimin anyway.
Seokjin lives in Hannam-dong. It’s been 6 months since he moved. They were all so happy for him to be making it big. He is currently shooting for his third drama as a lead. He doesn’t get time to meet them. None of them get time to meet each other. Jungkook and Taehyung work under the same label as videographer and photographer. They still can’t meet more than once a week. It’s a price they’re all paying for growing up.
Taehyung opens the door with the extra key Seokjin gave him the day he officially moved in. They all had one each. Seokjin had told them that the house belonged to all of them. Most days, they even behave like that. Seokjin caught Namjoon and Jimin, buck naked, on his sofa. Hoseok had his girlfriend over so they couldn’t meet at Namjoon’s place and Taehyung didn't get Jimin's subtle hints about leaving their apartment. After threatening to kick them out, Seokjin did calm down. But the warning was out for everyone.
Taehyung calls out to Seokjin. His voice echoes in the long hall.
“Tae?” Seokjin’s voice echoes back. It’s funny, makes Taehyung chuckle.
He yells once again, “Hyung, hey!”
Seokjin grumbles from behind the closed bathroom door, “Just come in, you brat!”
When Taehyung enters, he’s lost once again at how beautiful Seokjin looks amidst the bubbles. He can see the skyline of the city, covered with a sheet of orangish-yellow light, in the background. Seokjin looks golden, like he’s illuminating, like he’s the sun.
In Taehyung’s mind, he is. He is the centre of the universe, the planets revolve around him and he is confident enough to even pull it off.
Sadly, Seokjin calls himself the moon.
Taehyung is just the sad little earth.
“H-hi,” he blubbers, emotions on edge already.
Seokjin gives him that special smile that not a lot of people generally manage to get. Taehyung is mesmerised, for the nth time.
“Come to hyung,” he encourages.
Taehyung stays caught between the juncture where Seokjin’s hallway ends and the bathroom begins. Seokjin is playing with the bubbles, absentmindedly.
When Taehyung stays where he is, Seokjin looks up, a pout already making its way up his lips.
“What is it?”
I’m in love with you but I don’t know how to tell you without getting my heart broken.
It’s selfish.
“Nothing, just tired, I guess.” Taehyung murmurs his words.
Residual rays of the setting sun bounce off the ceramic tiles in Seokjin’s bathroom. Taehyung walks carefully, looking for any pools of water.
“You should join me. The water feels good.”
Taehyung feels some heat in his cheeks. It isn’t enough to turn his skin red, or even pink. At least that’s what he feels.
Their relationship was different. Jungkook calls them sexually aggressive and to a point, they are. But when it is just the two of them, Taehyung is different.
So is Seokjin.
He smiles more, his eyes are softer.
It lights hope, Taehyung pinches it between his thumb and forefinger and it extinguishes.
“I don’t have a bathing suit.” Taehyung argues.
Seokjin throws him a look, “Namjoon and your horny roommate are banned from being naked here. You aren’t.” He says that with ease. Taehyung should get used to it by now.
He chooses to sit at the edge of the tub, fully clothed.
Seokjin hides his expressions well. Taehyung can’t tell if he’s upset or okay with Taehyung’s choice.
“How was your day?” Taehyung asks instead of letting the moment distract him from his confession.
Seokjin gets back to touching the edge of the bubbles with a touch lighter than Taehyung can comprehend. Maybe he’s not touching them at all, maybe he cares more. He’s letting them survive for how many ever seconds they can.
“Work’s work, I guess.” Seokjin shrugs, but Taehyung knows him. His shoulders don’t push the same.
“What are you working on?” Taehyung turns his head to the left twice. The crick snaps, he feels lighter.
Seokjin makes a sound with his cheek between his teeth. “It’s a chaebol drama. I’m pretty excited.” Taehyung scratches his shoulder, his T-shirt slips off a little. “Just get in here.” Seokji’s whine is louder.
Without a word, Taehyung stands up and strips to his boxers. Seokjin grins at his victory when Taehyung takes the first step inside the tub.
He doesn’t let go of his modesty. His boxers cling to his ass when they get wet. The tips of his toes brush along the line of Seokjin’s bottom. Only then does he realize that Seokjin is naked.
It’s fine. They’ve seen each other naked during saunas, changing rooms, etc. He doesn’t comment on it. He keeps staring at the minute drops of water that have scattered on Seokjin’s eyelashes.
“Feeling better, yeah?”
With you? Always.
“Uh-huh. Water’s nice.”
Seokjin hums in agreement. “There’s a second lead in the drama. Name’s Eunwoo, Cha Eunwoo.”
Taehyung adores the curl of Seokjin’s upper lip that wiggles when he says Taehyung’s name. Seokjin bites his lower lip.
“Is there a reason why we’re talking about Cha Eunwoo?”
Seokjin flicks some of the foam at Taehyung. It lands on his nose and Seokjin bursts out laughing. Taehyung can brush it off, but Seokjin is laughing and Taehyung is pathetically in love.
Eventually, Seokjin rubs it away. “Yeah, cause I think I have a crush on him.”
Taehyung feels the hurt, but he’s been used to missing out on his chances with Seokjin.
Still, he wants to take the leap, wants to blurt it out here, in the bathtub, with Seokjin’s skin so close to his. Seokjin’s legs spread out on either side of Taehyung’s ribs. He feels his heart crush between them. He places both hands on each of Seokjin’s knees. He tries to protect his heart from the hurt that it would soon have to face.
Taehyung knows Cha Eunwoo. He’s an idol. He does dramas from time to time. And it’s fine. He’s pretty, someone Seokjin would fancy.
But he’s 23, thinner than Taehyung.
“I might ask him out.” Seokjin keeps smiling. His eyes shy away while he busies himself playing with the top layer of water bubbles in the foam. Taehyung hums, happiness in his heart for his love, pain for himself.
“Should I?”
“Do you want to?”
“I mean, I haven’t dated anybody in a while.”
“So, you wanna start dating.”
This time, Seokjin hums softly. Taehyung’s heart sinks at the bottom of the tub.
“You really want to?”
“Yeah.”
Taehyung takes in a deep breath. Eternity can wait, he won’t. “Then, date me.”
The words slip out. Taehyung thinks he spoke too softly, that maybe Seokjin didn’t hear him.
But Seokjin looks up at him. Through those chocolate-colored eyes, the way the edge of his lips turns up in the tiniest of smiles, the bursting bubbles in his hair, Taehyung loves him. Taehyung loves all of him.
“Really?”
“Yes. I’ve been in love with you. Date me, please.” Taehyung’s tongue feels heavy in his mouth.
Seokjin raises an eyebrow, then, smacks him in the head with a wet hand.
“Ow!” Taehyung whines. It is drowned out in Seokjin’s laughter.
“Took you so long.”
“What the hell?”
Taehyung feels Seokjin’s fingers clasp around his calves. He almost loses his balance on the slippery floor of the bathtub. The water makes it easier for Seokjin to pull him closer.
Up close, Seokjin looks downright ethereal. His eyes shine, so do his teeth where he grins widely.
“I’ll date you if you kiss me right now.”
Taehyung whimpers involuntarily.
“What?”
Seokjin lets out a frustrated groan. Taehyung’s legs hang awkwardly on either side of Seokjin’s torso. He catches hold of Taehyung’s waist to pull him in his lap.
“Kiss me, Tae.” He says softly this time. “I want you to kiss me.”
The pads of Taehyung’s fingers have started to wrinkle after being underwater for so long. They feel weird around the soft skin that covers Seokjin’s jaw. The tip of Taehyung’s nose, where his mole resides, fits perfectly in the crook of Seokjin’s deep-set nose.
Taehyung kisses Seokjin.
His lips are soft. His mouth tastes like mint and strawberries. Seokjin’s hands tighten at Taehyung’s waist.
Their noses brush when Seokjin moves his head towards the other side. His lips slot perfectly in Taehyung’s. His body shakes with rolls of euphoria flowing through him.
They part, but their foreheads rest peacefully against each other.
“Yes, I will date you.”
Taehyung feels drunk, his head in clouds. Everything is fuzzy. Seokjin looks fuzzy too, his lips still look plum.
Taehyung giggles, wants to kiss him more. But he also shuts up because what the hell? He’s giggling in front of his crush? The man he is dating? What is Seokjin?
“You-you will?” He asks, just to confirm.
Seokjin looks through this lashes. He’s learned it at acting class, yet it looks so natural.
“I will, babe. I like you.”
“But I love you.” Bravery is huge. Taehyung doesn’t think he had it in him.
He did, perhaps.
Seokjin blushes. Fuck, he’s so pretty. “I understand. I’m not there yet.” He does look apologetic. It is passing, swallowing the thick lump in Taehyung’s throat.
“Can I kiss you again?”
Seokjin smirks, “I kissed you. So you can kiss me now, you can’t use the word again.”
Flustered, Taehyung noses Seokjin’s neck. “Okay, can I kiss you, then?”
Soft.
Seokjin is soft, his touch is soft.
Taehyung shivers as Seokjin’s fingertips ghost on his jaw, his earlobes.
“Kiss me, Taehyung-ah.”
Taehyung presses his lips to Seokjin’s neck, to the supple skin there. He can feel the vibrations murmuring to him from Seokjin’s throat, the way his Adam’s apple bobs when Seokjin gulps.
“You’re so-” Taehyung lets it go because he doesn’t know what to say. He’s lost.
Seokjin traces the curve of Taehyung’s spine with his fingers, holds Taehyung at the waist with his other hand. Taehyung feels the touch to his bones, relishes the warmth that spreads through him.
“Can-can I touch you?” Seokjin never stutters. He’s affected by this too, maybe not as much as Taehyung.
He hums his response. Seokjin’s hand slips inside Taehyung’s boxers. It’s wet, they’re underwater. So it’s tough to get the waistband off. Seokjin manages with an ounce of grace. His palm around Taehyung’s asscheek feels large, like it is meant to be there.
Taehyung whimpers, his lips quiver at the thought of being touched. He feels Seokjin’s arousal against his thigh and he wonders if-
“You can touch me if you want.”
Taehyung doesn’t understand how he got so lucky. He braves a hand around Seokjin’s cock and tugs experimentally. Seokjin whines. Taehyung kisses him again and again and there’s really nothing much he can do besides kiss him because everything feels surreal. That’s okay. Seokjin’s kissing him back and that’s really all that matters right now.
“You won’t take this back, right? You won’t call this a mistake?”
They are on Seokjin’s bed. Dry. Seokjin was gracious enough to offer Taehyung some sweats and a T-shirt.
Seokjin stares up at the ceiling too, like Taehyung. “I’m sorry about that. I was scared that we’ll ruin our friendship. I really care about you.”
Taehyung nods wordlessly.
“And, no. I won’t do that. I really wanna date you too, wanna see this through.”
The air is thick around Taehyung fingers. His tips brush against something soft, and then Seokjin is holding his hand. Taehyung turns his head to the side to see his angel smiling at him.
“I wanna see this through as well.”
Seokjin blushes, “I knew you had a crush on me. I just didn’t know how to confront you, so I spoke about Eunwoo.”
“He’s younger,” Taehyung says nonchalantly. He’s wondering something else. “And thin. Thinner than me.”
Seokjin turns to his side. He caresses Taehyung’s jaw, rubs the tip of his ear. “I do have a type, don’t I?”
Taehyung nods, not trusting his voice.
“I do like you, Tae-ah. I like you a lot. You’re beyond my type.”
And Taehyung can kiss him now, so he does exactly that. Seokjin kisses back effortlessly, gives in to Taehyung’s want.
“Are we going to take it slow or what?” Taehyung says between breaths.
Seokjin surges to take his lips, his arms curl around Taehyung’s neck. “Uh, I don’t know. I wanna kiss you more.”
Taehyung rests his legs on either side of Seokjin’s body. “Let’s kiss for now. We can do more later.”
Seokjin licks his lower lip. “Later.”
Later sounds right.