Chapter Text
Mai groaned, “If I drink one more cup of herbal tea, I’m going to throw up.”
Ursa smiled as she poured. “I drank a cup of this every morning of my pregnancies, just as my mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother did before me. It’s the perfect blend for an expecting mother.”
“More like it’s the only thing other than water that this little fire demon will let me drink,” she cursed before begrudgingly accepting the cup Ursa offered her.
Zuko, his voice tinted with laughter, lowered his head to Mai’s stomach, saying, “Remember that, my child. It wasn’t dad who called you that.”
Mai rolled her eyes and laughed, her chuckle mixed with Ursa’s. Their peaceful moment was interrupted by the arrival of a palace guard. “My lord, please forgive this intrusion. There is a captain here that says she has urgent news for you.”
“What captain?”
“Captain Umi, my lord.”
In quiet alarm, Zuko rose to his feet and quickly stepped to the door. “Zuko?” asked Ursa. “Who is Captain Umi?”
He paused only for a moment to answer. “She’s the captain of Azula’s ship.”
Captain Umi, one of the youngest naval captains in Fire Nation history, waited on bended knee in the throne room. “What happened?” Zuko demanded as soon as she was in his sight.
“Nothing happened, my lord,” answered Umi, who kept her head bowed low.
“Did Aang’s letter not arrive?”
“It did, my lord. His lemur met us at port with the note, and we sailed for the waters of Crescent Island. On the morning we arrived, the avatar’s bison landed on the deck of our ship. He got down from it only to bow and thank us for our duty, but told us that our services were no longer required. He then asked us to convey this information to you, my lord.”
“Where is my sister?”
“She left with the avatar.”
“What do you mean?”
Umi took a silent gulp behind her closed lips. “I think she has become his... traveling companion.”
As Zuko and Mai reeled from the news, Ursa took the chance to speak. “Captain, it would be best that you and your crew keep this information to yourselves.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Captain Umi, before you go,” said Zuko, his voice slow and uncertain. “My sister. ...did she seem happy?”
Umi nodded. “Yes, my lord. She seemed… more than happy, in fact.”
Zuko collected himself, taking a breath before giving the captain a small nod of gratitude. “Thank you for your service. You’re free to go.”
Mai waited for Umi to exit the room before speaking. “I thought the plan you cooked up with Aang was to give Azula the ship if she passed the test.”
“It was.”
“Then what happened?” asked Mai, keeping her voice low.
Zuko looked to his mother, hoping to see if her private meeting with Aang could provide any insight. But Ursa remained silent, her expression wracked in surprise and contemplation. “I don’t know,” he finally admitted, his mind hounded by questions. Why would Azula go with Aang? Why would she turn down her own ship after being confined in Doiyasu Asylum for so long?
What happened on Crescent Island?
The Western Air Temple, unlike its sisters, had been carved and sculpted into the heart of a cliff inside a great chasm instead of being built atop a mountain. Azula had only visited the temple once before, when she was attacking it. Even after eight years, the old stones still bore the unmistakable marks of the bombs her airships had dropped. As she stepped through the temple grounds, Azula could hear the explosions, the images of her fight with Zuko flashing in the back of her mind. She stopped as she came face to face with a stone column cracked by time and scarred by fire. The muscles in her arm started to twitch, lifting her arm slowly as if of its own volition. Her finger stopped before touching the blackened stone itself, for fear it would crumble like shards of glass upon contact with her violent hands.
What a far cry this sight was from all the wonders he had already started to show her.
The mood as they left Crescent Island had been so high that she didn’t think of where they were going. They didn’t have a plan on where to go, nor did she feel the need to make one. She was just happy to be at Aang’s side. They spent many days flying to a variety of sights that Aang had visited in his travels, from the Garnet Peaks where the great griffins roosted, to the golden beaches where he showed her how to catch a ride on a giant kangapaca, to the Whirlpool Labyrinth of Uzumaki.
It was only a few days ago that he had shown her the Living Maelstrom.
“So, how did this place earn such a moniker?”
There was no land for miles, and only a calm ocean below them. “Patience, princess,” Aang promised as he carefully bended the water to give them a deeper, clearer view beneath the surface. “This event only happens once each year.”
The waters were vacant for however long it took for her to start thinking that nothing was going to happen. As much as boredom started to creep into Azula’s mind, a loud sense of optimism hoped that whatever Aang was waiting for would happen, just so he wouldn’t fly from here disappointed. For a moment, Azula thought she finally saw a sign of life in the form of a black koi fish far beneath the surface, but it was gone with the blink of an eye, so she wrote it off as a trick of the light.
They came alone at first, just a handful of seafaring stragglers who seemed to pay one another no mind. Slowly, more and more trickled into view as pairs, trios, and quartets. Then, before she knew it, they came together as an army beyond counting. Scores upon scores of creatures from over a hundred species, animals that would normally avoid one another out of fear, gathered for a scene that Azula couldn’t conjure in her wildest dreams. Silver wolf eels, amber stingjellies, emerald iguana seals, giant azure squids, monochrome skunk fish, scarlet sea snakes, golden cheetah sharks, and schools of colorful fish that Azula couldn’t identify came together, swimming in rings around them as far as the eye could see. The ocean came alive in a vortex of color that would put any rainbow to shame. Flying dolphin fish with violet fins leapt from the water, gliding so high they nearly reached Appa. A mighty diamondback crocodile, armored in shining scutes, swam out of her childhood monster stories into view among animals that, for one day, bore it no fear. Even a lone shark whale appeared to take part in the dazzling display. Azula, in a moment of almost childish adoration that only Aang could inspire in her, wondered if it was the same shark whale they had ridden on during their time on the island.
As she marveled at the sight below, Aang explained, “Ancient nomads said this gathering opens a portal to the spirit world, far beneath the waves. Spirits on both sides connect to allow souls to enter the spirit world and to let old spirits reincarnate in this world.”
“Being reborn as a fish. Not a very appealing idea,” she muttered, still starstruck by the creatures below.
Aang gave her one of those smiles that, depending on her mood, would earn him either a piece of taunting banter or an annoyed kiss. “I think you’d come back as an angelfish, Azula.”
“The things you think a woman wants to hear, avatar.” She had to turn her head to hide the evidence on her cheeks of just how much his endearing charm got under her skin.
The life of a nomad was strange to Azula, but it was starting to grow on her.
The idea of coming to the Western Air Temple hit her without warning one day as they ate a late breakfast. It immediately did not sit well in her mind or guts, so she tried to dismiss it and focus on other things. But the idea never left her mind until she gave it serious deliberation, and once she did no other course of action withstood her decision.
“Azula?”
He had caught her using the small hand mirrors from his satchel to look at her hair from many angles. She calmly put them away, and took a slow, deep breath as she worked up the courage to put thought into words. “I need to ask you something.”
Aang, ever honest, did not conceal his surprise when she asked him to bring her to the temple. When he calmly pressed her as to why she wanted to and got her to admit her plan, he rushed to show his concern and support, offering her other paths she could take, ones that did not weigh so heavily upon her shoulders. His words almost made her relent, but she could not be dissuaded. This wasn’t a matter of want or comfort.
Azula had to do this.
“Did you visit this place before the war?” she asked, her hand still hovering over the burned stone.
“I did.”
“What was it like?”
He couldn’t hide the nostalgia in his voice if he tried. “It was beautiful. This was where Yangchen, the Air avatar before me, was born and raised. Monk Gyatso took me here once for the annual grand pai sho tournament.”
“Pai sho tournament?”
“The nuns here, despite their humility, liked to brag to anyone and everyone that pai sho was invented at their temple millennia ago by a wise mother. My people weren’t competitive by nature, but when it came to pai sho we were absolutely merciless.”
She smiled, but couldn’t find it in her to join in his laughter. His kind hand rested on her shoulder. “The temples are being restored, Azula. Someday soon, my followers and I will come to rebuild this place.”
Because it was him, and only him, Azula spoke honestly, ignoring the instinct to bite her tongue. “Conquest and destruction came so easily to me. Everywhere I went, in one way or another, I had to control whatever and whoever was around me. If I couldn’t, I wouldn’t even tolerate the idea of leaving them in peace. Sometimes… sometimes I can still feel the traces of that person, like the clawing of a dying tigress at the back of my mind.” She hung her head. “How could you have forgiven me for this? For all the things that I’ve done?”
“It can be hard to forgive, but it is the first step towards healing.”
“Healing,” she repeated, finally relaxing into his touch. “I never thought I’d feel even a fraction of the peace I do now. I had given up hope on ever being a firebender again, of being my own person. Now I have both. But to truly forgive myself? ...I don’t know if I can. Perhaps my stubborn choice to keep living in this world will lead to that someday. I’ve reclaimed my fire, but…” Azula ran her hand along the pillar’s black mark. As she approached the end of the scar, her fingers curled into a resolute fist. “Now I must restore my honor. Whatever little there is to reclaim.”
Aang hung his head, the object in his hand suddenly feeling far heavier. “Azula, I know this is a Fire Nation custom, but-”
She turned to look at him. “Do you trust me, Aang?”
Even after what they had been through, all that they had shared with one another, Azula so rarely used his name. She always addressed him as the avatar, and always in an irreverent manner. But there was nothing light-hearted in her voice or eyes now, only a grave plea for faith.
“Yes.”
She held up her open hand. With only a brief breath of reluctance, he handed her the knife.
Azula stepped away from him out to the edge of the cliff, gripping the blade tight. Looking out at the opposing side, she was reminded of the quick thinking that had saved her life during her battle with Zuko, using her hair piece to catch herself against the rocks. Those days were long behind her, in more ways than one. She had control over her fire once more, and hoped never to return to the person that used it against her own family. With that resolve in mind, Azula collected her long hair into her left hand, pulling it taut at the crown of her head. With only a moment’s hesitation as the blade rested against her hair, Azula cut through the root.
The pain was brief. The way she felt as she looked at the long, black strands in her hand was not. Slowly, she raised her fist over the edge and willed herself to let go. The wind took them quickly, scattering the hair until it faded from Azula’s view. When she returned to him, Aang pulled out the small mirror from his satchel and handed it to her.
She had never seen a Fire Nation woman with short hair before. Royalty, nobility, military, peasantry, even colonials, it didn’t matter. All Fire Nation women wore their hair long. It was a mark of tradition, of pride. One of the few pleasant memories she had of her mother was of a time when Ursa did her hair, brushing, styling, and tying it into the braids and topknot of a princess. Azula wished she could tell that little girl to savor those moments, that she was foolish for thinking she had grown beyond caring for what she saw as her mother’s fussiness.
The woman in the mirror staring back at her was half a stranger. Her hair wasn’t even long enough to form the smallest of topknots. But Azula took it as a small victory that she felt no desire to shatter the mirror that held her reflection. “Hair grows back,” she told herself.
Without a word, Aang offered her his hand. Azula took it without hesitation.
“I still can’t believe you know how to work with hair.”
Aang waited a day before asking if she would like his help. When Azula awoke the morning after the cut, the phantom feeling of her long hair still clung to the back of her head. She had absentmindedly tried to run a hand through it, as was her habit when waking up in the morning, only to run her fingers through thin air. She was thankful that Aang was an early riser and had missed that moment.
Azula sat still as he evened out what had been left behind after the cut with a pair of scissors. She suspected he was enjoying himself a little too much as he then gently combed and brushed her hair. “Airbenders might prefer bald,” he said, “but we learn at a young age how to maintain our looks. And I’ve gotten plenty of experience over the years. Katara, Toph, Sokka, Suki, even Zuko.”
“Zuzu actually let you do his hair?”
“Mm-hmm. I had to coax him into it, but as you know I have quite a way with words.”
“I’d like to see that some day.”
“I’m sure you will.”
The casual way he said it, the easy yet steadfast manner with which he believed that she could reconnect with Zuko one day, was overwhelming. Even after all they had shared with one another, all the ways they were starting to connect, the hope that he could instill within her felt too good to be real.
With one last brush and a brief, soft stroke with the back of his finger on her hair, he declared, “I think I’m just about done.”
The woman in the mirror was still a stranger, but one that Azula felt she could get to know better over time.
“For what it’s worth,” said Aang, gentleness radiating from his voice like sunlight, “I think you look good.”
“That’s not saying much. You thought I looked good the night I barged into your tent with a fire in my hand.”
She could hear the smirk on his face as he replied, “Are you questioning the avatar’s judgment, princess?”
Azula shrugged, her voice so prim and all-knowing. “I’m saying you’re biased. You’re so enraptured by me that you can’t form an objective opinion.”
He laughed, which brought a smile to her face, as it often did. It was a comfortable routine that they had fallen into. Whereas the person she once was would deceive and belittle friend and foe alike, Azula could now playfully tease someone who gave as good as they got. She liked to think that this was how friends properly treated one another, even if she wouldn’t exactly call their relationship friendship.
Some of their activities together were decidedly more than friendly.
“Azula, not while we’re flying on Appa.”
She giggled in that toying manner of hers, speaking directly into his ear while her hands continued moving over his clothes. “We’re on top of his head. He can’t see us.”
“But he can hear us. And Momo’s watching.”
That was true. Azula peered behind them to see the lemur balanced atop the front of the saddle, eying her suspiciously. Both animals did not fully trust her, even if they had accepted that Aang was spending more and more time with her.
“Did the monks tell you never to mingle near your animal companions?” she teased, her lips a breath away from his ear.
She delighted in seeing him squirm and blush. “It went without saying.”
Azula laughed. “Then I’ll just have to work harder to turn their star pupil into a degenerate.”
Aang’s discomfort quickly turned to a cocky smile as he turned to look at her. “Not if I make an upstanding world citizen out of you first.”
She placed a kiss to his neck and flicked him in the back of the head. “Keep dreaming, avatar. I appreciate all you’ve done, but don’t go thinking that you can tame me.”
“As you say, my princess.”
In bed, Azula would often trace her fingers along the arrows of his arms and forehead. Tonight was no exception. They laid side by side, his right arm wrapped around her, letting her trail her finger up and down his arm and hand. “Have you ever thought about letting your hair grow?” she asked.
“I did once. Back when I was traveling throughout the Fire Nation in disguise.”
She rolled her head up to look at him. “Why do Air Nomads shave their heads? My history books always wrote it off as a quirk of a less civilized people.”
The words came out so casually, as easily as the recitation of any other lesson from childhood might. When he raised an unamused eyebrow at her, Azula immediately recognized her mistake. “But I don’t think that!”
Aang moved past it, knowing how effective the Fire Nation’s propaganda was on the education of their youth. “When an airbender earns the rank of master, they’re shaved all over so they can receive their arrow tattoos. It’s also a sign that we detach ourselves from traditional aspects of worldly attachment, such as fashion and physical beauty.”
“So would you? Would you grow out your hair again?”
He shrugged. “Well, I might, but you’re already so drawn to me. If I let my hair grow back, you’ll never let me get out of bed.”
She grinned and flicked on the forehead. “You’re not as irresistible as you think you are, avatar.”
Aang pulled her so she was on top of him, chest to chest. “That’s not the impression I got last night.”
The days immediately following her decision at the temple kept them in the old lands of the western Air Nomads, going about their days with the routine they had fallen into. Once, as they walked through the forests surrounding the temple, Aang realized he could take her to see Kokkanzo, let her see where this all started…
No, he dismissed with a shake of the head. As important as that forest was for the two of them, Azula wasn’t ready to see it. At least not yet. Kokkanzo might have another surprise in store for them. Considering how he arrived there in the first place, Aang knew the decision to take her there one day might not be up to him.
Wherever they landed, they spent much of their time training. She was finally starting to put on a healthy amount of weight, despite her awkward adjustment to his vegetarian lifestyle. Through their sparring sessions, she was starting to rebuild her toned musculature. Her days in the sun removed the unhealthy pale shade that had overtaken her skin. She even seemed to grow more comfortable with her short hair. Any and every time she caught him shooting her an admiring glance, Azula would shake her head, flash him her smug smile, and say something cheeky and taunting, but he knew she loved the way he looked at her.
If Azula had her way, Aang would never be out of bed until noon. Though she had a nightgown, she preferred to leave it and her smallclothes to the side of the mat they slept on before crawling under the blanket. Aang considered it a sign of just how comfortable she had become being with him, but having a naked, beautiful woman by his side every time he went to sleep and woke up made both activities more… eventful.
One night, he slipped away after dinner to waterbend at a small, nearby lake. She came up behind him and stayed there, out of sight. “Enjoying yourself?”
“In a way,” he replied. “I practice each bending discipline for a different purpose.”
“And what do you get out of waterbending?”
“A calming sensation. Plus, water’s a fun element to play with.”
“Is that so?”
She walked into view on his right side completely nude, swaying her hips as she stepped into the water. For all the ways she didn’t feel comfortable in her own skin, Azula reveled in the effect she had on him, how he was unabashedly enthralled by her. She stopped once the water was almost up to her knees and peered over her shoulder. “Gonna keep playing with your water, or are you going to play with me?”
He grinned. “Both.”
Before Azula could react, Aang was already moving his hands. Two watery tentacles grabbed her at the wrists and pulled them together, fusing into one leash. Another tentacle quickly coiled around her waist. With an easy pull, the water tentacles forced her to bend at the waist and kept her in that position.
“Look at that. Looks like I’m an Azula-bender too.”
For some reason, his display of aquatic prowess reminded Azula of how she was briefly subdued by Katara at Ba Sing Se. For the first time, thinking of that incident did not have an entirely negative feeling attached to it. Azula dismissed the thought, deciding to think on the connection at another time. She cocked her head up to flash him a defiant, goading smile. “You think you can hold me, avatar?” she asked. Her aquatic chains started to steam under the controlled expression of her firebending.
He was already moving towards her. “Long enough.” The water dropped as soon as his arms and lips were on her.
But the good times could only go on so long. He had been fortunate to find enough time to go through the chakra ritual with her, and was even luckier to have had so much time afterwards. But he always knew in the back of his mind that, sooner or later, the world needed the avatar once again.
In the Earth Kingdom, Aang landed at a secluded spot near a small village equal distance between Muli and Republic City. Azula stayed behind with Appa and Momo while he made his way into town to restock their supplies. He tried to go incognito, but someone caught a glimpse of the tattoo hidden beneath his sleeve and loudly screamed in excitement.
“Hello, everyone!” he greeted the swelling, surrounding crowd. “Just traveling through the Earth Kingdom, doing whatever I can to help. Is there any pressing matter I can help your village with?”
“Yeah! I’ve got a pressing matter,” one man bellowed. “Three unmarried daughters!”
The crowd roared with laughter while a trio of women started turning red. Aang gave them a sympathetic nod. This wasn’t the first time someone tried to hook him up with their children, and it wouldn’t be the last. After all, what parent wouldn’t try to make a son-in-law out of the avatar?
The lively greeting was cut off by the arrival of a rider atop an ostrich horse. “A dozen scrolls sent in a dozen directions, sir!” she stated, handing it over to them. “Sangrah calls for aid!”
He thanked the rider for her service and the villagers for their hospitality before quickly taking his leave. He knew Azula would see right through him if he tried to hide it, so he immediately pulled her aside after loading the new supplies on Appa’s saddle. “I received a message in town.” He pulled the scroll from his satchel and handed it to her. “They’re asking for me to help them.”
Azula read over the scroll carefully. Though unfamiliar with Sangrah, it carried a seal with a common style used in the central Earth Kingdom. “So what are you going to do?” she asked, showing more worry in her tone and expression than she wished.
“I have to go to them. They have asked for the avatar’s aid and wisdom.”
“And what do you see for me while you’re performing your duties?”
“That depends on you. What would you like to do?”
“Why don’t you tell me what you would like to do?”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to make you do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”
“And I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable either.”
Aang paused and smiled, dipping his head in recognition of the awkwardness of their exchange. “I get the feeling that if we keep going back and forth like this, wanting the other to make a decision for them, we’re never going to make up our minds.”
“Being considerate towards others is a rather large inconvenience. I was better off not when I wasn’t caring about people’s feelings.”
He laughed. “Sorry, Azula. Compassion has already taken hold of you. You’re only going to become more kind and thoughtful from here.”
She smiled, and did her best to ignore how parts of her mind rebuked such an optimistic prediction. In defiance of those thoughts, her next words burst from her lips in a stumble. “Could I… come with you?”
His surprise held his tongue only for a second. “You mean come with me as in be by my side kind of come with me?”
“You can’t just keep leaving me at camp with the an-... with Appa and Momo. Eventually, the rest of the world will have to see me again.” The idea of being perceived by others almost made her feel sick, but she stubbornly pressed forward with the suggestion. “The avatar could use someone watching his back, and… perhaps I might benefit from exercising my new... nicer people skills.”
His indecision was quickly replaced with excitement. With a sudden rush of air, Aang was leaping over her head, landing with gusto at Appa’s side. The way he held out his hand to her reminded her of his life changing offer on the beach of Crescent Island. “Want to be a hero with me, Azula?”
Azula ignored the uncertainty scratching at the back of her mind and took Aang’s hand, joining him for his next adventure.